Slut Love

I figured TMI Tuesday falling on Valentine’s Day was a sign I ought to talk a little bit about my philosophy on love, sex, relationships, and values. So you’ve gotten a reprieve from Jungle Rot… You may want to hold off on rejoicing just yet though.



All That Purity Nonsense

I know there are a lot of people clinging to those Puritan values and all, and if you’re one of them, more power to you… which is to say, more to go around for the rest of us, eh?

I am not quite sure where my feminist leanings got their first big fuel burst, but it was well before I was political, and before my religious leanings got an overhaul from their Presbyterian roots. Basically I figured if BOYS are allowed to admit they like this stuff, what is wrong with GIRLS admitting it?

Now I ‘get’ the ‘save it so I have something to give my spouse’ thing on some level. But there is a conflict here… I don’t think anybody should wait until age 30 to become sexually active, or you end up stunted on that front (IMHO), but I ALSO don’t think people should be making such an important decision as who to spend FOREVER with until about that time. And I think the consequences of becoming sexually active pre-marriage are a lot less severe than marrying in the late teens or early 20s. People that age have no business making that kind of decision.

*cough*

And don’t you know… I had a boy or two in my past where things got… you know… intense… the first time I met them… and later they would act as if somehow I’D done something wrong. HELLO. I was not the only one there. Why do these goons think THEY get a pass, but I don’t? That definitely fueled that inner feminist and my belief that what is good for the gander is great for the goose. (even goosing)

Manipulation versus Honesty

See, the OTHER thing that has always really bothered me is the simultaneous attempt to woo and hold at bay of a potential lover. A person who WANTS intimacy but pretends not to because they are holding out for a long-term offer is just dishonest in my opinion. And I hold the value of HONESTY far above some silly notion of ‘virtue’. In fact the virtues I care about ARE honesty and integrity. NOT chastity.


Now I don’t mean to disrespect anybody who has made different choices or whose values line up differently. I’m just saying it isn’t in me to pretend I agree. I think that is what we all need to do—be honest with ourselves about what is important and why, and try to live that way.



Sluts are NICE

You know... people who really LIKE everyone, even if they are also willing to sleep with everyone, are really more fun to hang out with than uptight people. I mean I GET that some people are nice withOUT the slutty thing going, but I haven't met many self-righteous people who are all that nice. They are too busy judging everyone else for not living by their standard. Live and let live, I say. So long as people aren't intentionally hurting each other.


Yeah, I’d rather live with aspersions of ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, or ‘tart’, than 'proper', 'classy', or ‘tease’. (though my value of not hurting people DOES mean monogamy… so anymore, this is all just in theory).


So there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about me...

Contagious

You won't hear me say it very often, so you maybe ought to mark the calendar, but Mr. Tart was right. Joel was itchy because of FLEAS! I've been scratching since I heard—I can't shake the feeling they are ON me... You see, the fact is though... that he has been itchy for... a month or more? Must be more, as I think he's had 3 baths and we don't do that at home more than about every other week at most... But ONLY NOW—Now that I KNOW—am I itchy. And it won't stop.

I get that way when I see swarming ants on TV, a really big spider outside (a really big spider inside spikes my adrenaline and throws me into fight or flights, so that is probably the only way I evade THAT one).

Does this have to do with being ticklish?

I mentioned this on my personal facebook profile, so of course my considerate friends add LICE to the mix.--now I'm not just itchy, but shuddering. I mean... ick.

[and here the editor would like to note:  The EVIL Tart has been  awakened... we don't see her much--you probably shouldn't encourage her.  She's quite as insane as the other one, but possibly dangerous.]
Evil Tart SMITES your warning and carries on!


How is it we pass along these sensations in absence of the actual stimulus? Can we USE IT?!

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The second scary book I read (right after The Shining) was Amityville Horror. It was one of those paperbacks with the pressed texture in the cover... you know what of? FLIES. I thought that was a FREAKING TERRIFYING book and I'm willing to bet the shivers from feeling those blasted flies on the book played no small part... that was one of the first signs of the house being haunted.... flies. They could hear them and couldn't find them. They would see ONE. They would see a COUPLE. Then something was covered in flies.

You SEE the build?—something has an eerie feel, then it keeps reappearing as a theme, each time bigger. Holy crap, I keep shuddering just remembering and I was 12.  I can't even LOOK at the stupid book cover... (note though, that I am making YOU)

Stephen King does it in The Shining with both Jack (all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy) and Danny (Redrum). But I think the use in Amityville Horror strikes me so hard because... a fly, so what? I mean hearing voices and speaking in tongues (or whatever the explanation for Redrum is) isn't normal stuff. FLIES are normal (if repulsive). But add to it 'off season' and it becomes ODD. Just that. Making an ordinary thing ODD, makes it so the reader gets more and more creeped out, each trime they see it. That is the key... the reader isn't just READING it, they are FEELING it.

What Other Emotions Can We Manipulate?

(So long as we're being evil and all...*shifty*) Longing? I've seen it with both longing for a person and a place... a lost dream—any emotion that can be heightened by a memory, really, which makes it a useful device for romance, chick lit, ALL of the darker genres. I've seen it in Sci Fi—it is different in a way—Ender's Game and the game he keeps trying to beat—we feel his obsession—he keeps coming back to it. That is handy there, as Ender isn't a kid who seems very NORMAL, so making us feel his feelings was a necessary step, and possibly one of the reasons Orson Scott Card has a broader readership than a lot of Sci Fi.


And Why be So Rotten to our Readers?

Because we CAN! BUWAHAHAHAHA Okay, and maybe so the triumphs our characters finally manage are ALSO felt—because being touched is what so many readers really CRAVE (and they can get TIRED of touching themselves). I guess it is all about truly engaging a readership and we need to tap emotion to do it.


But... Can't you tap emotion... NICELY?

NO! And stop asking! *squishes evil Tart back into her box*  Honestly, I think you CAN. I think truly TOUCHING scenes tap emotion, but oddly, so does humor. I am, to this day convinced that the KIDS books I read that I loved so much I wanted to read over and over and over were because they were FUNNY. That is what a kid story offers the parent... The Series of Unfortunate Events and it's thirteen volume grammar joke—BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE those books, and it's not because the story is so great... but it is TOLD SO WELL!

But really, my favorite genius at this is JK Rowling. Her discussion of the Dursleys and their insistence on 'normal' when everything around them is going haywire had me sold right from the beginning... but then so did the tears at the end of chapter one... Harry, the boy who lived.

She uses simple language and the EXTREMES of our emotion-- me giggling madly at the owl fest behind Vernon's back, and this orphaned baby—the tale of his parents' death... the contrast is amazing...

So how do all of you try to tap the emotion of your reader—suck them in so they don't just see it, but send them a shiver, or a tear, or a literal LOL? Any plans?