Going and Coming

[Drat, forgot to schedule... this is Wednesday's post]


ABNA BeDone

It is not shocking surprising or unexpected that I didn't make the finalist list for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. After all, had I MADE it, they would have contacted me last week: I now see why... All the finalists have lovely pictures of themselves posted... not a single person chose to display him or herself as a llama. Contracts are probably formally signed... flight and hotel reservations made (cheaper 30 days out, after all),

The books all look pretty good. Here, see for yourselves. I was a little shocked at the YA entries as TWO of them involve MCs who can talk to the dead, and that is a primary plotline for my planned BuNo project (BuNoWriMo explainer below). Funny how some themes make it into the collective conscious. I am confident mine is different enough, but it was jarring when I saw the first, and BAFFLING when I saw the second... I was thinking, HOLY COW, how does this HAPPEN?! That said, they both look like GREAT reads (very different tones from mine—far lighter, I think—you KNOW how dark and mysterious I am *shifty*) (do you think if I say that often enough, people will start to believe me?) The third YA looks great, too—I'm not sure if it classifies as sci-fi or dystopia, but the premise is unique and appealing. I'd totally read ANY of these books.

The adult ones look pretty good too. I haven't read ANY of the excerpts yet, but plan to... you should, too... There is now VOTING involved, and to vote fairly, you really need to read all of them in a category, wouldn't you say? I am not saying I've never voted for my friend when I knew someone pitted against multiple others, but I generally at least get a FEEL, and if I have time, I read them all (I confess I probably end up biased anyway, but there you have it). Anyway, I don't know ANY of these folks. They are not board regulars, unless they use other names. They certainly aren't Mansers (my home thread there), as I was the 'only horse left in the race' who was regular there.

I guess the BIG point though, is that ALL these books are publishable... ALL of these people have made a FABULOUS accomplishment. I wish them the VERY best.

Many people knocked out are ALSO publishable... but maybe in an iteration or two down the road... So congrats to us, too...


As for that next book...

BuNoWriMo is Coming, 
BuNoWriMo is Coming!

One week, my friends, until the Burrow's version of NaNoWriMo... 50,000 words in 30 days... that is 1667 per day for you math geeks. *looks in mirror* And we Burrowers aren't too picky... if you want to keep going on something ELSE... okay... if you want to write 50K worth of short stories, have atter. If you want to set some alternative goal... start or end on a different day... We are EASY PEASY (or I am, anyway, but you knew that). This is about writing as a group, grabbing some of the contagious enthusiasm, encouraging each other, and giving in to the SPEED. Permission to write crap... just WRITE. It will all have to be changed in the rewrite ANYWAY... best just get the story out!

I know not everyone likes to or wants to write fast, but I find a great many of us, if we give in to it, and address the clean up in the rewrite, do really well with it. Personally, I have a cleaner story as there is no time for tangents (my most pernicious temptation). So we would LOVE it if you would join us!

As for me... I have about 7,000 words to write to wind up my first draft on my 2nd Cozy between now and then... I will be about 10K short of 'done' but it is better filled in on the rewrite anyway (like I've been saying). I've got a bunch of spots already that say 'a scene that does this'... I can make it, but I am cutting it close...

If you want to join us for BuNoWriMo, we are on Facebook, here. The group is open!

And Happy Hing Day!!!

Super Secret ABNA Week

So... on the 24th, the finalists for ABNA will be announced, right? But the rules state that the finalists will actually be NOTIFIED starting YESTERDAY!!! But they aren't allowed to TELL ANYONE!? I know, right? Could they POSSIBLY have any more unrealistic expectations? But you lose your status if you tell... TALK ABOUT TORTURE!!! Sadists! The lot of them!

Now only 6 people will be notified... 94, will NOT... though...

[for the record, as of posting, I have NOT been notified... almost absolutely out this round... but I will hold out hope for a bit yet... more on this]

Okay, see the rules state you have to be able to GET THERE (New York City) and you have to agree to their contract (which I will address in a minute)... so I think... well... that's what I'm here to talk about... what I think...



In Absence of Facts, I Might as Well Make Stuff Up...

I think this lag is because SOME SMALL portion of people may not be able to get here... maybe they live in... say Australia... and they didn't KNOW that their shenanigans have put them on a 'do not fly' list (because Australians are notorious troublemakers) *cough* (waves honorary Australian flag and threatens everyone with drop bears) So then they get notification, begin arrangements and CAN'T... Well there has to be SOME lag to find the NEXT in line (man, can you imagine being 'next in line? Though I guess you only know if they have to then reach YOU... which they would do... say, the 18th because it would take a little while to get to the 'sorry but' answer from the person who SHOULD have made it...)

But anyway... if someone CAN'T they have to have time to find the next one who CAN... or so I see it...


As to the Contract...

Well since by SIGNING UP, you are agreeing to their terms... *rolls eyes* What gets ME, is the people who... at THIS POINT start grumbling it isn't a good enough deal... Are you serious? A $15,000 advance is nothing to sneeze at, but they fail to see what the word ADVANCE means... let's just go over it...

The ADVANCE is the money you get BEFORE the book is out... they are GAMBLING on you and your success, and this is what they are willing to put up front. But HONESTLY, the sky is the limit—if you promote the heck out of your book, you can make a whole bunch MORE money... you just have to wait to see how the sales go (and work your tail off so they go the way you WANT).

I saw somebody grumble about 'translations being included'--what, they want a personal hand in translations? Translations expand their potential audience. Why grumble? Now on the off chance one of these books becomes a MOVIE or something... then the contract might not be the best deal a writer could have gotten... that is a gamble we take. But if somebody thinks they can do BETTER, why the heck did they not just query their book?


Now the Piece of the Rules that could feasibly (read: hopefully) matter to ME...

We are ALSO entering a period where Penguin claims first rights to ALL semi-finalists... if, before June 30, they contact us, we are obliged to negotiate with them... (hello, talk about a problem I want)... but it IS the reason I am really hoping my agent (or actually her YA partner) is on board... I don't want to negotiate without an agent in the loop. And if they contact us and no agreement can be REACHED, they reserve rights to counter-offer (and promise 10% MORE than the negotiated advance)...

I am somehow STILL not seeing a downside here...

Though that Super Secret Week...

Okay, so let's just pretend... because it is my BLOG and therefore my RIGHT... that they contact me today... Tell me I am a finalist... and I can't TELL anyone for 8 days?! How do I DO that!? I'll tell you how... I'd probably have to go underground... I'm a LOUSY liar (even if I didn't object to lying)... then again, misattributing is my superpower, so I suppose I could throw questions in strange directions and tell you OTHER stuff...

But strangely... I don't HAVE TO... I am almost completely offline May 18-21... I could avoid the 22nd easily, too—I never blog on Sunday, and I get home at an ungodly hour anyway... so today and 23rd are the only days I'd need to throw off questions... Coincidence? Or divine intervention? I'll let YOU decide! HAIL DIGRESSION! *cough*

Seriously though, as a contestant, it will be so strange to know that 6 of our number KNOW they have won (well... pretty much...), while the rest of us leer around wondering who the good liars are... I am definitely glad I actually don't have the leeway to obsess.

And FINALLY... former ABNA finalist makes good... You may or may not have read my interview with Harry Dolan after Bad Things Happen came out... and you may or may not have SEEN I get an ARC for this, but SURELY you don't know it came in PERFECT time for my trip!  I have 10 hours on planes and in airports in the next 5 days... and I have a book I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT to read!!!!   It came last night and it's perfect timing!!!

Words

So anyone who stopped in yesterday afternoon has heard... I made the Amazon Semi-finals and everything else has vacated my brain. This is the only topic I am capable of speaking to.

What IS Semi-finals?

Well, the first round judged on the pitch (300 word summary and sell) [2000,0f 10,000 passed on]
The Quarter-finals were based on the Excerpt (first 3000-5000 words) [500 of 2000 passed]

Semi-finals are based on THE WHOLE FREAKING KAHUNA. That's right. Somebody –a Publisher's Weekly PROFESSIONAL--read my darned book. Anonymously without the nagging 'but I LIKE Hart—she makes me MISBEHAVE' nagging at them. This stranger READ and made JUDGMENT on my book... and passed me on.

100 of 500 pass on, 50 each in young adult and general fiction. From the original 10,000, there are 100. That is 1% and I feel TOTALLY humbled. There were some great sounding stories that didn't pass. Some of the reviews I've seen look harsh.

Now you will see, this is not all goodness and light... this book is not done (as I've been saying) but I am GIDDY at what (s)he liked about it...

ABNA Publisher Weekly Reviewer
An engaging ghost story with an unusual setting keeps the pages turning in this manuscript. Helen is a ghost who has spent 60 years as her 15-year-old self. Her suicide lead to the closing of the mental hospital located in eastern Washington State. The hospital building is now being renovated, and turned into a school to help juvenile offenders rehabilitate. As students and staff arrive, Helen is surprised to discover that some of them -- a teacher named Allan and students Daniel, Mickey, and Serena -- can see her. Allan thinks having a ghost observing the students could be helpful. Helen isn't so sure. A vicious attack makes Helen realize that the staff have failed the students. As Serena falls into deeper danger, Helen will do everything she can to protect her only friend. This dense novel has much to like; the well-worn ghost concept is modernized through the juvenile rehabilitation school setting and a subplot involving illegal medical testing on the students. Characters like Helen, Serena, and Allan are well-drawn, although the villains like Beck and Harper are rather cookie-cutter. Frequent run-on sentences create confusion and unnecessary tangents slow down the otherwise excellent pacing. Chapters from Allan's perspective in particular spell out the action a little too much, and Helen's unresolved fate makes the story feel unfinished. These flaws aside, this author has a very good grasp on how to create a well-paced story, and the originality of the plot and the interesting characters keeps the reader engaged until the end.

Let me just say—this reviewer is exactly right... My earlier drafts DO have run on sentences, and I DO have trouble rounding out my villains! (though there is no evidence i know how to eradicate tangents) It is nice to have some constructive direction to work. And I will work it...


I sent my AGENT the world's least traditional query last night, too... I explained this dilemma... not being DONE, but being far enough I don't want to be unrepresented on the off chance I go farther. I'm sure there are perfectly done works more likely to win... but I was sure there were more done works that would beat me THIS round too...

Besides, agent and I needed to have 'the chat'--does she even LIKE YA that is this edgy? Some YA reps want sweet love stories... some want cool fantasy. I write the lousy CRAP life includes if you have too large a dose of reality. I don't have the imagination for fantasy or the patience for sweet ( poo on sweet, I say--POO!). I have a master's degree in psychology and like to watch TV shows like Breaking Bad, where good people are pushed into bad stuff by circumstances. I like my characters thoroughly damaged... it's just the way I roll... So I just thought it was time to have 'the talk' so I know if I should hold out hope, or whether I should plan on querying when this is cleaned.


And... Because I am entered in Round of Words in 80 Days: My UPDATE:

I am not DONE with my line edits of my Garden Cozy, but will be by Saturday, which was my deadline (win!)
My progress on Garden Cozy #2 has been SLOW, but once May rolls around, I plan to treat it like a WriMo until it is done... so it will be done...
AND the query letter to agent was on my list.

So I am good on my goals! YAY!

And finally, I got some serious blog love yesterday. I was FEATURED by a new reader and she was so NICE to me!!! So go check out San's Informed Sharing!


If you want to read, I am entry #19

Happy Hing Day, Friends!

Umbilical

NoNo last summer at her friend's Quincenero

Sixteen years ago today, I became a mom for the first time. Life changing experience would hardly cut it. There is nothing so humbling, so frustrating, or so rewarding as parenting. And this particular child has not been without her own set of special challenges. I think though, I will give you some darned cute stories instead of kvetching on her birthday.

1st story:  I was REALLY good when she was little. I didn't yell. (we didn't eat junk, I didn't swear--no commercial TV)... but we had a puppy with anxiety issues. When we'd leave, he would chew up stuff... like... you know... couches... He would strew garbage from one end of the kitchen to the other... so the 'no yelling thing' had a limit...

Henry (best dog ever)

NoNo, when I was getting her ready for bed one night, was unhappy to be going to bed, so when I picked her up and said 'let's get your pajamas on' her response was “You're a dumb dog.”

Yup... that is what she'd learned someone said when they were really mad (she was two)


Second story... (about the same age)  I didn't go out much... I didn't wear make-up often... but one night I had a work party and so I was dressing up. I picked her up when I was almost ready and she scrunched her face. I said 'what's the matter?' and she pointed. “What's that?” “it's make-up. Don't you like it?” She shook her head and said, “It's too spicy.”

I love that she could always exactly express herself, even when she didn't have the words for it.


Happy Birthday NoNo! I love you!

Unnerved

So tomorrow is the next ABNA cut. I don't expect to make it, but I am nervous nonetheless. I'm having a great time getting to know my fellow ABNAers better, and many of them have been out for a while, so in or out doesn't matter on THAT front. It's not like they are going to kick me out of the social circle. But at the same time, semi-finalist status would change some stuff. I think that is when people NOT participating or friends with someone participating will start to pay attention. And MAN, I'd love a little attention.

That said, I've been clear all along that Kahlotus Disposal Site is not as polished as I'd like it to be. I DO think, though, that it is ultimately salable. And I am excited to see the feedback I get on it from the Publisher's Weekly review. (real, professional feedback—an AMAZING prize)

I mean seriously--the underwear ruin this picture

Underwear

Let's break this down. Wear—after a word, this implies it is what you wear to do that thing. Un—this prefix makes something not so anymore. So obviously underwear is what you wear if you want to stop being a Der. If you were NEVER a Der, it is not necessary.

Say it with me. Pants are evil! Down with Pants!

Quarter Quotients

So anyone who stopped by yesterday afternoon and scanned comments knows the MAIN point... In the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest this year, I have passed to the stage of QUARTER FINALIST. You see that? This is the first level with a TITLE (other than her Tartly Majesty, anyway), so that's WAY cool. I love that piece. The SUPER big thing I love though, is all Quarter Finalists get a Publisher's Weekly review. We can use it in marketing, provided the book doesn't change much, but what I hope it does, is point to where the book SHOULD change so I can improve it.

And I got my first taste of that yesterday afternoon... (more on that, in a minute)


Quivering

I noticed the list was up first with an announcement on the Amazon chat threads... I went to look... opened Young Adult first... and scanned. My stomach knotted... there was my name.

Unlike last time though, I scanned for my friends names... so many made the pitch round... and on that young adult list, I didn't see ONE. Nobody else made it. Still making my eyes sting. How is that possible? I mean I GET that the lists had to each be narrowed from 1000 to 250 and that is a lot of people, but I just expected... company...

I know. That's silly. And there is crap-shoot to this—particularly for genre fiction writers, as most people have a couple genres they just won't read, and given 4 reviewers in two rounds, odds of hitting ONE that doesn't read what you write (especially for sci fi, romance, adult fantasy... I just think those are genres people like or don't). Last time I was a little sad because... you know... only half my friends made it through... this time, I had to go to the adult list before I recognized names.

My buddy Lisa is in. And I know she can really write because she was in a contest last Spring she got second place in, and part of that was reader voting, so I read some of that particular work. She writes even darker stuff than I do... horror mostly. And Marjorie (the other Marjorie—I have a close friend Marjorie some of you might know, too, but she wasn't in the contest.) Now I may have missed in my quick scans... so if I didn't say your name, don't think I DON'T think of you as friend... it just means your name doesn't fall near the names I remembered to look for and you weren't announcing yourself one way or the other before writing this...

I guess my point is, it feels a little desolate... like I'm headed off on a journey without benefit of a guide whose been there before... So that is weird.


Quality

I thought though, the main thing I wanted to share with you was the two vine reviews on my excerpt. You may or may not have seen these before... but being me, I can't leave well enough alone, so I am also going to address what they say section by section (in purple)

ABNA Expert Reviewer 1
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The opening as it gradually reveals Helen, who she is, how she died and what is going on around her is quite gripping. It will catch and hold the reader's attention, keeping them turning pages to find out just a bit more. Particularly with a young audience it is important to grab their attention early and hold long enough to draw them into the story. This opening does an excellent job of achieving those goals.

Thank you! I guess I don't know what else to say to that...

What aspect needs the most work?

This might be more effective if it were a bit shorter, not much maybe just 5% or so. At times things were included that didn't really need to be gone into in such detail such as Helen's attempts to contact the woman construction worker. It didn't add to the story to go into so much detail but did slow the narrative down.

This is totally valid. The excerpt has been cleaned twice, once on my own, once after feedback, but I know this is a weakness of mine, so surely my need to include too much isn't completely exorcised until about the 7th draft.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

I really liked this excerpt even though when I first began reading I felt like I had wandered into 'Lovely Bones'. That feeling quickly faded as I continued to read. I particularly liked the scenes concerning setting up the juvenile detention facility. There is potential here for a good novel but it needs work.

Ha! Lovely Bones! There goes my own comparison almost biting me in the butt... glad it segued into fresh soon enough! And 'needs work' would be exactly my assessment... not overhaul, not rewrite, but certainly cleaning...

ABNA Expert Reviewer 2

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

I applaud the idea of being introduced to a new rehabilitation center for troubled youth by a long dead teenage epileptic who killed herself when the building was an asylum for the retarded and insane. Helen's back story is well described and I love that she even has a living niece who takes an interest in her tale and I hope they make contact. I think the author knows something about troubled teens and the present and past treatment of them and can use it well to tell this story.

Helen's niece does, indeed, have an ongoing role, and... does HAVING a teen qualify me? *shifty* though honestly, I think my degrees in psych (BA and MS) indeed give me a fair amount of insight to mental disorders, as does my job, and I do have a lot of teen experience (did I mention a lifetime as a nut magnet? I mean nut in the most loving way, but seriously... I might as well collect crackers), so hopefully I nailed this. Mostly though, this comment makes me hope I come across as worthy when the whole book is out there.

What aspect needs the most work?

The newly introduced character Serena is not very clear and I hope the author does not leave her so ambiguous. I feel like a poorly developed Serena could ruin the story. This sounds picky but I wish the author had picked something that is easy to pronounce than Kahlotus for the name of the town, center and title.

I can promise this. Serena doesn't get short shrift. She is probably my most compelling character--I recognize this... more compelling than a ghost, I swear, but the book is more about Helen responding to and trying to help her, so I was wary of putting her too front heavy (the excerpt only had maybe 3 pages of her (out of I think 24--it was 4,000 words, but in 4 chapters). In reality, she is about a quarter of the PoV and probably HALF of the topic). 

As for Kahlotus... it's a real place, which was why I fell in love with it (the hospital on the other hand, is all fiction), but the sign that reads 'Kahlotus Disposal Site' that signals drivers outside Pasco where to turn to head to the middle of nowhere (read: Spokane shortcut) has that written on it. It inspired me as to where to set this book that was only an idea in broad terms (ghost in a reform school). I'm attached to Kahlotus...

ku* LOH*tus --(that help?)

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

I liked the excerpt a lot and feel it would also be very appealing to the targeted teen audience if the quality continues through the rest of the book.

Again, the... if it continues... if only... I have predicted from the start my next round is my drop--I felt the idea of it could carry the excerpt, even if it wasn't quite polished... I'm not confident it can carry the whole book. (though I confess when I saw who got cut today, I was wiping my brow--some great pieces didn't make it)--but the concept is HIGH... the whole book needs a bit of polishing ...

So there we go... first ever 'official' feedback... I feel okay about it. I feel it was fair and helps... at this point, pointing out what I know, but that's okay too. It helps me trust myself a bit.  I saw a few responses that didn't seem so balanced. Understandably, with 2000 entries, not all reviewers will be of the same standard (where the luck bit comes in), but i feel I was treated absolutely fair, and am perfectly content.

Words for Strangeness

I feel... erm... rubbery? Squiggly? Altogether not quite normal... but before I get to THAT, I should tell you THIS:

Denise Verrico (remember, the kinky Vampire romance writer?) is hosting me today where I'm talking about keeping it FUN. Surely I will be more coherent THERE than here (as I wrote it earlier), so I'd love it if you wanted to check that out, too!

As for here... why so strange?

ABNA (the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest, for the unititiated)

They posted the lists of those passing to the next round yesterday afternoon. It was a manic day, hard to work... checking the page frequently, camaraderie among participants as we fretted and panicked... then, about one o'clock, the list went up.

 If you have friends in the contest, you can check for them here. Without even looking, though, I can tell you there is some FABULOUS news on there... several of our bloggie friends have made it. Last year I knew maybe 3 or 4 people who made the cut. This time I'm sure I know two dozen, and it isn't that I've spent that much more time on the boards... though it IS maybe, that I've nurtured a number of friendships over the last year of people I've come to learn are ABNA people.


What IS an ABNA person? Well, those of us with FOMS aside... they are a mix, but I think a great many of them are people who tried it once, before they were probably READY to have book luck with an agent, but they fell in love with the contest (or rather contestants) and so keep coming back, even though their writing has progressed and they are perfectly suited to go more traditionally... Some of them are a bit shy about the agent rejection thing, so in spite of doing well in the contest, they don't promote themselves as well... it's not in their nature. Whatever the case, it is a FUN group, a kind group, and they were 99.9% superstars yesterday, win or lose, in the sportsmanship department.

I know what it feels like to lose at round one. That's what I did last year. I loved my book (I still love that book) but I now know even if I'd had a coherent pitch, which I really didn't) the excerpt wasn't ready EITHER... it starts too early in the story. But even LOSING was informative. Last year I learned the benefit of extensive feedback on the pitch... and I learned something else.... for a mass market contest like this, you need to have a coherent, easy to present, catchy idea that can be presented quickly. It's why I was set on Kahlotus Disposal Site, even though it hadn't had an edit before January (and so in spite of 2 edits before entering, still isn't quite cooked).

And because I know what it feels like to NOT make it, part of me feels really BAD about making it... I feel sad for friends who didn't.

That said, when I opened the Young Adult List... I looked for ME first, of course (I'd hardly be normal if I didn't)--and there I was... I looked for
Michael (because I'd read his excerpt and wished him well)--THERE. I looked for Erica because she is a blogger buddy... THERE... I looked for
Tracy because she is one of my ABNA friends from last year... THERE... my percentage of first names I looked for was 4 for 4! Cruising that end of the alphabet, I saw
Roland (I hadn't even known he was entered because I can be clueless that way). In adult... Barbara is in! Donna is in!

Any new blog buddies or friends I didn't know to look for, if you're IN, give a SHOUT! Because right now we are pulling out the RUM, we are starting the Jamaican Steele drums, and we are going to LIMBO and PARTAY!!!

And congratulations to my friends who made it, and while I'm sad for those who didn't, maybe learn what I think I did... this is a FABULOUS contest, but it isn't suited for all genres, and certainly not for deep nuances or complexities of description—I ENCOURAGE people to enter, but maybe choose the work to enter with that in mind.

And to anyone who DIDN'T make it... don't get discouraged... another year, a polished pitch, another judge... we keep improving and learning, and  everyone will get their turn if they don't give up.

Comparable Books

What?

So I have heard tell agents like you, in your query, to say something along the lines of:

“Readers of   [successful but not wildly popular because we know you aren't that good book] will love this, as will people who loved ['nother-- somewhat dissimilar but still like yours] and [movie here to be different].

And I've always ignored that part.

You see... if my books were like OTHER books, I wouldn't have needed to WRITE them!!! I thought this was an agent insecurity... or maybe I just figured I had NO HOPE so why stress about it. This is not a deal breaker. Agents SAY they like it but don't say no for not having it...

But it is ALSO something they'd like in the ABNA pitches... and there I am more hesitant to just... you know... blow off that part...

SO I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Helen comes from a world very like One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. No problem.

But my delinquency associations are The Outsiders (where the bad guys are good and the rich guys are bad), the movie The Warriors (which just doesn't really fit)...

HELP ME!!!

One of my characters is reminiscent of 'Cut' but I need HELP finding appropriate books to bring to the REFORM SCHOOL table! The list has things like Holes (which I LOVE, but which my book is NOT like...)  and the EROTICA, which my book ALSO is not...


So two things from you, Blogger friends...


Do you know of any reform school books or movies where MOST of the residents are actually pretty bad rather than sympathetic?


And...


How do you approach this part? Do you have appropriate comparisons in mind all along, or do you madly scramble finding something?


Okay, so short, as I am writing from the Sleep Lab (about which I will tell you TOMORROW!)

All content by Hart Johnson except the two book covers, which should be obvious... and published at Confessions of a Watery Tart

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award

So I am over at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash today giving the skinny on DATES, what is REQUIRED, who JUDGES, how many PROCEED, and PRIZES, but I thought HERE we might spend a little time talking about what a person might do during those long WAITS between rounds...


My experience is (possibly because I am self-centered) that MOSTLY you only pay attention as long as you are still IN... I mean sure, there is the back-patting thing for your friends who make various rounds, but during the month I was IN last year, it was highly stressful and my need to talk about it consumed a lot of my time and energy... I didn't have it in me to keep up with it at that level once I was knocked out... here is how I spent it...

During the Month of JANUARY

Write, edit, polish as much as humanly possible.
Take advantage of trading for help in ABNA threads, Facebook groups, or by email.
Bore all your uninterested friends with ad nauseum info on the topic.


Once you have Pressed SUBMIT

Go to ABNA forums and try to figure out who is interesting and clever.
Make comments on said fora in an effort at looking witty.
Tentatively talk to people who seem impressive in hopes of making friends.
Hide.
Look up people on Facebook and add them to 'friends'.
Consider querying but not your confidence is entirely too low.
Consider writing but note you are obsessed with your already entered story.
Write a chapter for each of your ongoing fan fiction stories (maybe this is just me).
Panic.
Eat badly.
Pull eating back in check and realize you don't need your concentration to power walk.
Pull out one of your other books and read it.
Curse self for not submitting THIS ONE instead.
Read blogs about first chapters.
Curse self for not having more gripping first chapter.
Blog about your anxiety.
Blog about blogging.
Blog about online friends.
Panic again.
Realize you've been neglecting pretty much everything.
Go back to ABNA fora. You are not alone.

If you make Second Round (Pure speculation. I have not DONE this). (1000 do 10%)

Squee a lot.
Swear, but in a good way.
Try desperately which friends you can celebrate with and who is in mourning at being out.
Panic.
Reread your excerpt and decide it will never make it.
Cruise the ABNA boards trying to make NEW friends as the last batch has dwindled.
Realize you have a non-ABNA related deadline you can't ignore and try writing.
Give in to lousy first drafts.
Duck head and commit to getting on with it.
Check ABNA boards and Facebook from work just to... make sure...
Blog about anticipation.
Blog about lack of concentration.
Blog about crossing appendages.
Hide.


If you make Quarter-Finals (again... speculation.... 500 make it 5%)

Freak out.
Tell the World.
Babble incoherently.
Call your mother.
Bring up that you WRITE with people you've never talked to about it before.
Panic.
Go back and forth between TELLING PEOPLE and HIDING that your excerpt is not ONLINE.
Look for feedback.
Try feebly to finish book for deadline.
Panic at feedback.
Lose heart.
Hide.
Peek again.
Cling to anything non-negative.
Blog about ambiguity.
Blog about insanity.
Blog about purple things.
Consider superstitious rituals.


If you make Semi-Finals (total speculation: 100 make it 1%)

Commit to freakout.
Give April and May up as a bad job.

If you make FINALS (wildest fantasy: 6 make it)

Beg every person ever met to read and vote on book.
Work the social marketing to best of ability.
Curse not polishing deadline book earlier.
Email every NYC friend and beg to see them when there.
Hyperventilate.


Oh, if only...


Content generated by Hart Johnson
Pictures from Morguefile.com
First appearing together at Confessions of a Watery Tart

Blog Events: Blogging A to Z Wrap Up

First, I want to officially thank Lee at Tossing it Out for coordinating the Blogging A to Z which you possibly noticed I participated in during the month of April. I am a hard worker who loves to participate in... well, pretty much anything (you know... the FOMS—for the uninitiated, FOMS-Fear of Missing Something—is my primary psychological disorder... after the insanity thing...) But I am NOT organized enough to set such things up myself, so I REALLY appreciate those organized folks out there who do this. So THANK YOU, LEE!

FOMS aside, I want to sing the praises of these events for a couple OTHER reasons.

Blog event participation does something in a way UNEQUAL to any other thing you can do: it increases your traffic and followers. Not every person/blog is going to meet every OTHER person's interest, but these events that give you a list of blogs to try out and people to meet, have seemed to be the most efficient method of testing things out OUT there.

I began blogging last June (I'm about 6 weeks shy of my anniversary). At FIRST I asked my writer friends to check it out... and had 10ish followers... then I asked my HPANA friends (the people who have read my fan fiction—my earliest first readers) and built to about 20 or 25 followers. Other followers have trickled in one at a time, with only TWO exceptions. NaBloWriMo (which, innuendo desires aside, is NOT actually a month of writing about... okay, never mind... I won't go there...) It is National Blog Writing Month where people committed to blogging every single day in October. Followers bumped greatly.

Okay... there was a small batch from participating in ABNA—but I think only about five of those have stuck... they are a smart group, and I consider many of them friends, but more of them are on Facebook than this blog circuit.  Largely, with a few exceptions, they don't quite GET the blog thing.

But the BIGGIE was this Blogging A to Z. In April, a single month, I went from 70 followers to over 100. Now I know not ALL of these are A to Z related—a few friends have discovered blogging, and a few new people have been met—but that... maybe 5 people... is the exception. MOST of these are because of participating in this event.

So what's the big deal with followers?

Well I think you KNOW I have world domination aspirations, but aside from that... each becomes a degree of separation from THEIR readers, so the more people you reach directly, the more people you might reach INDIRECTLY.

But that's not the only benefit.

I've managed this month to meet a handful of kindred spirits and a BUNCH of really nice people. These kindred spirits out in the blogosphere though, are a very special reward for this usually solitary thing we do. I don't want to name people, as if I forget anybody, I would feel badly (and forgetting is sort of a specialty of mine), but seriously—there are some majorly cool people that have become NOT just part of the network, but friends.


So to everyone I met in April, YOU ROCK.

I want to encourage anyone new to blogging to participate in these things when they come around. I have a long time friend who has been a beautiful blogger in the past, but shy and not terribly frequent, but this month Marjorie SHONE (shined? I think shone is right)... I think her craft grew a lot with the discipline of the daily thing and I KNOW her readership grew. So it is FABULOUS for more timid bloggers.

And I think it helps ALL of us to grow the network... reach more people... it is only by reaching more that we find the truly fabulous matches out there... the people we want to read daily, the people who might help us out when we GET THERE.


And... this just in: 5 days to HURRAY HURRAY the 8th OF MAY!!!! (I will explain Friday, so you have a chance to prepare)--or if you are very naughty, you can google it.

This just in:  Hey, lookie what I got!  Thank you Raquel!  *note to self:  need to do awards...*

*SLAM* *Creak*

Hear that? One door shutting my out solidly leaving a loud echo in a room that until held thousands, shutting out 8000 people (me and my new BFFs), but a different door to a much cozier room opened nicely?

Let Me E'spain

Not on the Amazon List. This cut was based on the pitch and I've had some AGENT nibbles on this pitch, but never mind. The reality of it is, while I'm deeply offended (erm, sort of) I know this is probably for the best. I don't have four more months to be as distracted as I have been (or so I will tell myself so I don't feel so badly about it).

I want to offer huge congratulations to my few new friends who MADE the list (Megan, I saw you there). I haven't sat with the list going back and forth looking for all the names, because it's a little raw, still. But I wish them the best, and plan to read and comment on excerpts and eventually whole books for those people who I've talked to... So I suppose there is still some peeking through the keyhole, but I am solidly locked out.

What it means for CONFLUENCE: a kick in the butt to bug the agents who never responded on that last round of queries, and possibly when the next two writing projects are out of the way, a careful look at my pitch that apparently didn't cut in here and another query round.


TWO? Did you say TWO?

Yes.  Two.  [see, there's even a little door for my Pinata Fairy Godmother!]
Back to my Secret and the opening door: (sorry to be so mysterious yesterday, but I wasn't sure it would work out—today I've got a pretty good idea). I've got an opportunity to 'audition' for a cozy mystery gig. It's not a guarantee, but I've been doing some reading, and some plotting and even a little WRITING, and I know I am up for it. I am going to spend the weekend doing research on location, trying to hold back from getting too far into the plot until I have the place down pat... but then I should be able to crank out three chapters (the audition length) in about two weeks, get feedback, and... WAIT. That's right, back to waiting.

This writing business isn't for the impatient, is it? But while I wait, THEN I can finally get to finishing CONSPIRACY (which I am on chapter 17 for—so over halfway, finally)

And that is all I have for today. I am too emotionally spent this week for my normal three page ramble... big ups, big downs (also had a manuscript that had undergone several revisions rejected for something to do with STUDY DESIGN—which meant they could have told us the first round that it would never fly and saved me WEEKS of work on revisions—grrrrrrrr).
 

Super Secret Blog

You people know I tell you everything, right? Bare Naked Tart—those're the rules. But I have got a DOOZY, and it is affecting just about everything about me right now, from my tummy flutters to my short-term plans, to my side trips when I have my May conference in Baltimore. It's even mysteriously making me less annoyed about the 14 inches of snow we've gotten in the last 4 days.

But I can't tell you.

[Say what? Then why taunt us, you evil, rotten, Tart! Confessions my butt!] (oh, I heard you.)

The thing is, it's not only my secret, and I'm no snitch, much as I'd like to have those cute little wings and be chased around by hot Seekers. The OTHER thing is, I don't want to jinx it, because it is by no means a sure thing. But I can give you a nice metaphor. Won't that be satisfying?

This time yesterday I was standing around this HUGE pinata with my 10,000 BFFs---this would be the AMAZON piñata, and inside are 1,000 everlasting gobstoppers (but we all know everlasting gobstoppers should only be called month-long gobstoppers, because what they do is buy you into the NEXT round on piñata wacking, in which the prettiest people (and by that I mean those who make fabulous first impressions, even if those fabulous first impressions are of really ugly things) then proceed to the piñata party where you actually get to hit the darned thing.

Have I lost you? Standing with my 10,000 BFFs? Remember? All the while, these corporate types are taking turns wacking at the piñata with a Carp (fish reference is for you BFFs!) because these corporate types don't REALLY want this darned piñata to open until about 11:57 tonight.

Waiting. Waiting. Tummy even fluttering. I want my piece of candy and ticket to the next round, don't you EVER think I don't. But while I innocently (no eye rolling) stood there doing breathing exercises, avoiding my email (didn't open it from work yesterday AT ALL), I was GOOSED by the Piñata Fairy Godmother!

You heard me. So...The Tart's Already Got One! (she said she's already got one?)

No before you go thinking I have an agent or a book contract, it's not THAT kind of Piñata ...exactly... And it has nothing at all to do with my 24 rejections, 8 outstanding, or 2 partials out there on CONFLUENCE. It has to do with YOU!!!

Come to find out I'm a shameless #6 after all (if that confuses you, see yesterday's blog) and I didn't have a CLUE!

So this piñata I have is going to take some special tools to open, tools I don't currently own. And the task is a little like scraping the paint from a window frame in an old house-- I have to work hard and be a little obsessive, or everything inside evaporates. But if I pick pick pick pick pick, when I get inside, there are gold dubloons! (or at least chocolate dubloons in gold foil.)

Have I mentioned I'm tenacious? It's one of my strong points. Well... annoying if you're a paint chip, but I think I'm up to the task.

So I apologize for being so mysterious. When I'm allowed to get fully naked again, you'll be the first to know.

Oh. And, Amazon, what? That's right! Some point before midnight I will know if I get my piece of candy!

*Rubs llama piñata with glee as I wait * I can multi-task.

Hand Jobs and Other Gossip

This is an Amazon update of sorts... six days until first elimination... *bites nails*

Since most of you haven't participated in the ABNA boards, and it's a pretty different crowd than I usually frequent, I thought I'd summarize some of the topics... plant the seeds to participate next year, perhaps...


Who's There

For starters, there are a lot more MEN there than on the blog circuit. Men to a greater degree than women, seem to see this blogging thing as sort of a self-indulgence (a hand job, if you will, though this isn't the one I was referring to). Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. It's women's stuff. Of course that's a generalization, but over there the boards are probably half male. HERE I have 3 male agents (or agent assistants) I follow, two groovy young guys (the one with no pants in Western Michigan, and the Self Deprecating Scot who makes me giggle. And Galen. Galen is a CLASS act. Funny, informational, helpful and nice. But he seems to be alone in this swarm of women (I think he likes it that way). We, ladies, are like a teacher's college or a nursing school—while there is no good reason, men just haven't taken to it. Nearly ALL of us are chicks.

And men interact differently than women.  Funny, that... there is a little less concern about tact and feelings, and a lot less need to respond to someone if they don't care about the topic.  Or such is my observation.  Men are less socialized than women, in otherwords (which should surprise no one, but is interesting to see).  I'm really enjoying TALKING to some, but they are definitely more prickly... They also present information as if they have the full, solitary answer... so a woman needs to keep in mind this is STYLE, not actual expertise.  Still.  I really like them.

Now there are theoretically two forums, the Amazon one and the CreateSpace one. They are qualitatively different. I started out at CreateSpace because I didn't know any better, and it turns out, I think that is how it works. The newbies are more comfortable at the CreateSpace and the Veterans at ABNA. And I stuck with it for a little while because the veterans are a little intimidating.

I heard that gasp. Who the heck intimidates a naked chick? But the fact of the matter is, they all seemed to know each other. It took a while to find a convo I felt like I could jump in on. When I DID, they were extremely nice, but it is making the other boards look a little... amateurish... The questions and answers both just are not quite on the same level.  The things that made it feel more comfortable at first, make it seem less desirable to me now.  So henceforth, I will be referring to the Amazon boards.


The Convo

So we talk a lot about boobs.

You think I'm kidding, don't you? Honestly, it seems to break up the tension whenever something gets uncomfortable. Which it can... there was a debate yesterday about which was more valid, the war in Afghanistan or the war in Iraq. The Naked Pacifist stayed quiet. Neither of those was EVER a war we had a hope of attaining a happy peace on. Justified? I can be convinced on one, not the other. Smart? Neither one. Nosireebob. Never a hope in hell. But I try to avoid politics in my writing life, so I was all over the boob intervention.

We've talked about what we're working on... (the conversation that led to the Hand Job—which would be me writing by hand... I baffled a fair few, and this led to the differential accessing of parts of the brain, though only a statistician uses an obnoxious word like differential)--there are some interesting projects going on!—it really is an impressive group of people (not that my friends here aren't, but the blog network seems less concentrated on our WORKS and more on the NETWORK so I don't know a ton about most of your books). We've talked about who might win (in generalities, not specifics), what skills are needed, how much is luck, what portion of contestants have salable novels (and how many will succeed in selling)


And if you're curious at all, here are a few new blogs I am now following by members (only linking the ones that appear to update with some regularity).

The Angsty Writer: Megan is a kindred spirit of sorts. Her kids are about the same age as mine, we seem to share addictions, and I love her humor. Definitely worth checking out.

Intentional Unrealities: This is largely process stuff about writing his fantasy book, which also is, apparently, an online comic.

Suspense Your Disbelief: Is about reading AND writing and has a bunch of helpful links for both—I've tracked several new websites and OTHER blogs I'm keeping an eye on.  Thoughtful and also worth looking into.

Fiction For Dessert: Is a blog where Karen shares short stories.  The one I read was great.

And this is I think the cleverest blog concept I've seen in a VERY long time—possibly the best besides Accidental Dong. Becoming Layla: This is a blog giving all of US the lessons we would need in order to be a super spy like her main character. High concept blog? This is it.

There are more blogging, but these are the ones who seemed to blog with some regularity who sort of 'got the blog' if you knowwhatImean.  There are also, I'm sure DOZENS I haven't even checked out yet.  So missing from this list is NOT a snub.

Overall though, I was surprised how many people just think it's too time consuming, or *gasp* not helpful (that one I argued adamantly. In fact even with the too time consuming folks, I argued why it is worth making the time, but it doesn't pay off it if it a half hearted effort (or even a GOOD effort into a void—without the bi-directional thing to pull in readers))

Now where was I? Ah yes....

We debated Literary versus Commercial fiction and the utility of an MFA program. We (read: I) bashed Twilight—there were a few defenders, but I wasn't alone in my bashing.

Somebody checked out my blog and commented that I talked about nudity a lot *snort* if he only knew. I tried to explain it was part of my nefarious plan to take over the world, but there are some people I just need to grow on. I do eventually... like a fungus, but I am just a little over-the-top for those people who think it's better to be more refined.  It did make me question my strategy of silliness to gain readers for my dark fiction for about fifteen minutes, but as I said in my very first blog, I can't be other than what I am. I'm a silly naked chick who writes SUSPENSE.



NOT ABNA: that note is referring to my first reader and Co-Burrower Leanne who gave me the EASIEST way to distinguish Thriller from Suspense I have ever heard—she works in a book store, so I'm sure knows the industry take on it: A THRILLER takes place in a very short span of time, hours or days, and has big action at least every 10 pages, so the pace is (erm... insane?) really fast. So now I know.  I do NOT write thrillers.  I write mainstream that leans toward SUSPENSE.

NO WRITING EXCLUSIVES!

I bet you all think I'm going to talk about the strong advice not to offer an agent an exclusive of your manuscript, don't you? While that's probably sage advice, or so I've heard, this is another topic entirely.

I am possibly the most mellow person with ODC you will ever meet. I don't get stressed about clutter, I've never once gone back to check that the stove is turned off, I have been known to kiss rather indiscriminantly... I'm not actually terribly picky about much.

But MAN can I get obsessive!

My current obsession is multifaceted and one many of you can probably relate to. I write. And write. And write. I not only write, but am committed to the idea that I'd like to publish one of my books, preferably sooner than later.

And therein, possibly, lies the problem.

There's this wise Wench I know... (the only one of you I actually saw in person yesterday, I'd venture), who on my Blog Slut post  from a few days ago commented that she was TOTALLY behind the idea, but then listed her obligations and asked where she should find the time. She is part owner in a business and a realtor, so her day job is even more demanding than mine, and her husband works full time, which mine isn't at the moment, though he IS still recovering from pneumonia (3 weeks without smoking! Woot woot!)—so her problems are worse than mine.  I tried to answer in a 'within limits' sort of way, but the thought struck home.

I think I was in denial that in my case there WAS a problem.


Not any more. Never let it said that the Tart doesn't grab her problem by the balls *cough *

Diagnosis

We should start with my diagnosis of FOMS which any long time reader knows: Fear of Missing Something means I don't do anything half ass. If I am IN, I am IN, because otherwise I might MISS SOMETHING and there is nothing worse than that!!!

The problem though, is I have too many writing related activities I am in fear of missing anything on and it has become a time vacuum.  I'm trying to do everything right, and it DOES take a lot of time.

And it's causing me to neglect some things that can't really bear neglecting: My day job, and my children. I work at work, but I find I am doing it in a distracted way, so I'm not as efficient as I NEED to be. I've got a number of deadlines coming up, and I need to put my nose to the grindstone, so to speak. On Parenting, it is more that I am not doing the extra. My daughter has a tendency to neglect her academics if we don't ride her, but because my husband can get sort of mean about how he rides her and because I am more computer savvy for making sure assignments are in and communicating with her teachers, that is my job. It's not a great job for an optimist who likes to believe her child will just pull out whatever gumption she needs and do what she's supposed to, because it hasn't ACTUALLY seemed to work that way. I need to just do it--no matter how time consuming and distasteful it is. I am also the homework help, and the resource finder when things aren't working.

So where do I get more time for those things? Let's see, how am I currently spending it?

The WiP: I am writing again (thank goodness!) at a reasonable pace—the work is flowing. This is a 'from the bathtub' activity and only interferes with anything when my husband and daughter are fighting over her approach to homework and I feel the resentment boil up that I have to get OUT and intervene, but in fact I can hear neither of them is any longer rationale, so really, that is just what needs to happen.

But PAST WORKS: I've sent LEGACY to first readers (got first feedback from Michelle today--Thank you!!!)—that is a waiting matter and no problem. CONFLUENCE is entered in the Amazon contest, also a waiting matter and not a problem. So why am I suddenly so obsessed with getting ILLUSIONS typed up? You've got me there, but I've been acting like it's urgent: note to self: If I ease up here, there is a little time to lend to the other home stuff. So only type on it on the weekends unless the family and the below networking things are met. At this point, it is NOT urgent.

Blogging: The blogging itself is really only about a 20-30 minute affair. I usually (like now) write it between showering and leaving the house in the morning. Sometimes I save it instead of posting because I don't have time to look for good pictures—a five minute break from work type activity (again, like now), but it's DONE. But I could get sucked into reading and commenting on other people's blogs all day long if I let myself.

SO I AM SETTING A TIME LIMIT: 20 minutes of daytime (work break) and then 40 minutes in the evening if there are no contra-indicators (read: children's sporting events, teacher conferences, etc.)


CHATTING: This is a biggie for a FOMS sufferer. I've been okay with Facebook lately, but I've met some really fun people on the ABNA circuit and actually find myself LOOKING for what they are talking about, trying to find the good conversation.

LIMIT: One mid-day, 10 minute catch up, one half hour catch up in the evening. I've made some friends, but some of them are also blogging or on facebook, and I think that is as much weekday time as I have to give it.

I, the Watery Tart, solemnly swear I will try my best to stick to that schedule on the weekdays, and will do laundry and clean the bathroom before I give way to the writing gods on the weekend...

Amazoning Amazon

So now that the submission period is closed and I’ve gotten a little further into it, I feel like I’m at least not QUITE so clueless as to what is going on…


Eating Crow on the Entrants

(without eating very many of them)
I FOUND some! There are nice people to be met! It still isn’t a forum like the Wizard War back in the day where there was enforced greeting, and requirement of reading everyone’s comments (which made for a DARNED nice bunch of people—hard to say if it is because people self selected if they couldn’t be bothered, or if it just taught people appropriate etiquette), but for the most part the humor is good, the people are inclusive, and I’ve met some nice ones (even noticed one following! *blushes*) The worst of it, is a tendency to just go on with the convo with nobody acknowledging what you said, but I have that happen in real life from time to time… I’m the INVISIBLE Amazon Queen. [in reality, I think people get sucked into a conversation, so don’t even notice].

Anyway, I am doing pretty much all my conversing in a thread at the Amazon BNA site, rather than the CreateSpace, just because I stumbled across a lot of innuendo and it looked like a good time.

The group seems serious about writing, but also fun, and a few have been finalists in past years, which is nice, as they are a resource of sorts when I’m clueless (though I STILL don’t have the answer to my question as to who the heck ‘top readers’ are (they judge round two—the story excerpt (3K-5K words)


Self-Publishing Morass

At CreateSpace more than Amazon, but to some degree on all the boards, I’ve encountered writers of a breed I had NOT before… people dissing traditional publishing, and arguing strenuously for self publishing.

Now I am not one to say self-publishing is NEVER the answer, but I do happen to believe there are PEOPLE self publishing with no business publishing at all, and that gives the product a bad name.

However, there are a few points taken:

1) You sure get to keep a lot more of your sales $. Granted, total sales should be a lot lower, as you only have one sales venue, but it is a pretty big difference.
2) Some great books are difficult to agent/publisher sell because they don’t fit nicely into a niche or have a handy one-line description.
3) (and to me this is sorta big)—once the publisher decides it’s done, your book is OUT OF PRINT and they decide when it comes back in, if ever). With self-publishing, it never is.

That said, nobody is responding AT ALL to *cough*my*cough* accusations about swimming among the filth—there REALLY ARE books that aren’t ready, but an impatient author who hasn’t gone through the full process decides to just self-publish… the review process has a quality control function—and SURE great books miss, and LOUSY books make it through, but I’d bet great books would make it 95% of the time and good books maybe 60% if the author was really persistent, and I only think about 20% of what makes it out there really doesn’t deserve to (and that is EXTREMELY genre biased—I don’t really want to pick on ‘inspirational’ except it deserves it—and then the failings of romance and fantasy I mentioned yesterday)—mainstream? I bet only about 1% of that is sort of lousy, if that. So the success fail rate is pretty good.

Self publishing, I’d bet only 10% of what is out there is fabulous and another 20% good—70% crap. Yes, I’m pulling numbers out of thin air, but I can’t see how it would be otherwise, when I have yet to FIND a self published book that is amazing (not that I’ve persisted after about 10 fails).

That makes it a REALLY RISKY venture… throwing ones self amongst the muck.


My Brain Child

I would STILL love to see a peer review process whereby people could self-publish but stamp a ‘guild approved’ heading on their book: “This book has been peer reviewed by 3 published authors, and editing by an XYZ approved editor”—a guarantee that SOMEBODY is watching the farm, so that readers will feel more confident. I think it would give authors a legitimate alternative, when right now, I honestly don’t feel like (aside from certain genres and extremely timely topics or non-fiction) it currently is ‘legitimate’.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Donde Está My Groove Thing?

You know how when there are about 4 inches of new snow, driving is a total mess, but if you get in the grooves of other tires, you are okay? (I’ve lost you southerners and tropical types, haven’t I? You’ll have to take my word for it.) And if by some total fluke, the big truck whose grooves you are driving in goes all the way to where YOU’RE going, then you’re in luck and get there without any trouble. But usually there are some obstacles…


The Plowed Roads

These seem a nice easy way to go… the truck has been through (for the sake of metaphor here, this would be EDITING) and the main muck has been cleared off. There is a slick spot now and again, especially if it’s still snowing (sections still to write) or if the conditions keep fluctuating. (“It’s raining, no it’s snowing, no it’s raining, no it’s snowing!—this would be why you don’t chase trends---those Vampires that are being rewritten as angels will have to be turned into alien beings before you are done) *starts humming ‘Inter-Planet Janet’*

But for the most part, these conditions aren’t too bad. You need to go slow and careful, but other than that, once you hit the plowed roads, you can be pretty sure you’ll reach your destination.

Mall Parking Lots

You know sometimes it’s a good idea to just go do a couple spins in a safe environment where you can’t do too much damage. I have five of those places. 1) The Burrow, where we can experiment, show off and display, all 100 words at a time, 2) HPANA, where I can drive a lot of DIFFERENT cars, most of them equipped with joke horns or plastic wildlife, and 5) My blogs, where I am free to say just about anything I like, but nobody is obliged to read it when I run boring, offensive, or plain old insane.


Genre Literature

Writing a book from scratch in a genre that has a formula is STILL writing a book from scratch, but the roads have been driven on enough times that the writer can SEE where it is super slick and she is likely to just end up in a ditch (or Merlin forbit, the neighbors Coy pond). Now where the grooves are too deep, it can be really hard to do anything original, but hopefully there has been traffic doing a wide enough variety of things that changing grooves now and again to keep things interesting isn’t too onerous.


My Journey at the Mo…

In November, before the weather got bad, I turned down a sort of muddy road called NaNoWriMo. It made a spattered mess of my car, but I managed to get back to the main road at the end of the month. I drove a while, finished illusions, and then stared at the shiny, tempting AMAZON thoroughfare and decided COFLUENCE needed the shortening/polish to be ready for the race with the big boys (okay, they aren’t big boys, it is a MASSIVE race with a lot of LITTLE boys, but when you are in a crowd of 10,000 you feel small, even if nobody is bigger than you on a case by case comparison…)

Driving on that Autobahn of writing roads wasn’t too bad—it was after all, already prepared for mass consumption, just needed a little tweak here and there, shiny new pitch, all that…

But trying to get back to CONSPIRACY—Oi! I have found myself again and again spinning my wheels in mall parking lots, trying to get back to the hang of it… I was even asked to judge an exhibition at the HPANA mall (one of my stories won a Best Golden Oldie).

But every time I try to get back on that road with only a couple of meandering tracks, to try to make my own way out that route to my destination, I keep sliding toward the abyss. I have lost my nerve to just DRIVE…

So I got this satellite system to examine how I accomplished the LAST two drives—the ones that qualified me for this one… trouble is, it is a slow, analytical process and is leaving me in a funk… I suppose though, that is ALWAYS what winter is like for me. I miss the carefree drives of summer, when books were falling out of my pen in a mere six weeks (okay, so that only happened once, and to be fair, it was September, mostly).

I have faith… I will get back to it. I think if I tried to set a 1000 word a day minimum right now though, I would be an insane person in a matter of days… it just isn’t working that way…