Who's the Worst... Amazing Doohickey?

Martinex1: Deus ex Machina anybody?   It was recently mentioned that characters that can change reality at will were annoying.   How about the all-powerful objects?   What gadgets made you gag?   What devices divide you?   What utensils make you tense?  We've got Ultimate Nullifiers, Nega-Bands, Cosmic Cubes, Gauntlets, Lanterns, Rings, Keys, and Crowns.   What turns your comic enjoyment upside down?

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Laws of Physics!

Avengers #122 (April 1974)
"Trapped in Outer Space!"
Steve Englehart-Bob Brown/Mike Esposito

Doug: Conclusion time, kiddie-winkies! This one's the big wrap-up to our Avengers/Zodiac slugfest. But I'll caution you... if you don't have a king-sized helping of the suspension of disbelief before we begin (above and beyond what it takes to get through your normal longjohn brouhaha), you'll never make it!

Karen: Before we jump into the review, how about that groovy John Romita cover? I remember that one just jumping out of the spinner rack at me! The Avengers bursting through the pages of the book was terribly exciting to this 9 year old!

Doug: Well, haven't you raised a fun little bit of controversy? Consulting the two databases we usually use to make us sound smart around here, there's some disagreement. I, too, see the Jazzy one on that cover -- specifically in the faces of Iron Man and Thor, and perhaps the inks on Thor. But something is amiss with the other three figures. The Comic Book DB lists the credited artists (in no particular order or assignment) as Bob Brown, Mike Esposito, Gil Kane, John Romita, and Gaspar Saladino. The Grand Comics Database lists Kane as the penciller with inks by Romita and letters by Saladino. No mention there of Brown or Esposito. So, while the Jazzy One is definitely present, I suppose it would depend on the eye of the beholder just how much of Romita one sees. I have no problem seeing Kane in the Vision and Scarlet Witch, and in the way the Panther's ears are drawn. Others? What do you see?
Doug: If you recall from our last review, the Avengers had attacked a rogue faction of Zodiac in a warehouse belonging to Cornelius van Lunt. Little did the mutineers know that the man from whom they sought an alliance and financing was in reality Taurus -- the leader against whom they would rebel. And the warehouse was in reality a spaceship (suspension of disbelief #1). So we join our heroes and villains caught in some major g-force as the "ship" approaches escape velocity. Trouble is, this is after all a warehouse, no one is strapped in, and who can really say if the whole deal is pressurized (suspension of disbelief #2)? Part of the wall recesses so that all inside can see that they've reached orbit. Iron Man discerns that it's not a window, but a force field. Thor, figuring his enchanted mallet can conquer it, launches that bad boy right at it, never considering that if Mjolnir dissipates the field, the vacuum of space will make short work of all on board (suspension of disbelief #3). The hammer does pierce the field, but by the time it returns, the ship isn't in the same place -- so does the hammer return to Thor, or where Thor is? Because I know I've seen it return to Thor no matter where he is (suspension of disbelief #4). So now there's no Thor -- only Don Blake! All right, this was in the opening scene -- it's gotta get better than this!

Karen: No kidding - I could probably let one, maybe even two of those slip by, but four? I know Thor sometimes acted like a bonehead, but this is too much. As you say Doug, why would he want to penetrate the force field and expose his fellows to the vacuum of space? And this whole thing with how Mjolnir functioned was a constant continuity issue: in some books, it always returned to Thor, in others, it returned to the point from where it was thrown. In any case, the rocket-warehouse idea is just goofy.

Doug: So I'm not alone here? I wondered how you'd perceive all of this. I was afraid I was just being grumpy, but apparently my middle-aged eyes are distancing themselves from my Bronze Age brain. Or something like that...
Doug: So anyway, the two sides continue to batter each other, until the Vision calls out that they'd better cooperate, or they're going to run out of oxygen eventually. Cut away back to Earth, where Taurus has the remaining members of Zodiac in his presence. He basically tells them about the mutiny and informs them that he is the boss, without question. Libra honks him off by informing him that he knew of the revolt, but chose not to tell. That sends Taurus into a rage, and he "excuses" everyone from his presence. This gives Libra the chance to walk and talk with Gemini. Libra suddenly attacks Gemini, they scuffle, and Libra puts him down hard. Binding the bad twin, Libra locates the good twin and frees him from his trance. Libra tells Damian Link to distract Taurus, while Libra steals the Zodiac Starship. Oh, yeah -- and Libra is blind (suspension of disbelief #5).

Karen: Aw c'mon Doug -it's worked for Daredevil for years! Besides, we know so little about these Zodiac guys -maybe Libra has a radar sense too!

Doug: But of course. How silly of me.
Doug: Back on the orbiting warehouse, Wanda creates a hex sphere in the force field and Iron Man shoots through it. Um, haven't we seen instances in IM's own mag where he dons special armor for space? I mean, I'd think the pressure of space might have a bit of impact on the ol' Stark heart? And is the suit pressure-sealed (suspension of disbelief #6)? Shellhead locates Mjolnir, because the warehouse has returned to the spot where Thor had launched it -- so is the warehouse orbiting 100x faster than the moon? And how about finding a needle in a haystack (suspensions of disbelief #'s 6 & 7)??

Karen: Doug, you have to stop doing all that thinking! It's only getting in the way!

Doug: I know! That's what I meant earlier. I just feel like I'm complaining WAY too much -- I really liked this story as a kid, but man -- the warts are plentiful now, aren't they?

Karen: But yes, I have my questions too. Like how exactly does Thor's hammer wind up on top of Iron Man's wrist? Seriously, think about how you handle a hammer. When you've set one down, has it ever wound up on top of your hand? No, it's always underneath. This seemed to be extra-drama for no real reason. I have to say though, that the page featuring Shellhead and the warehouse burning in re-entry was pretty exciting. Although I am skeptical about his armor's ability to survive such a thing.
Doug: The warehouse begins to fall, and is about to burn up on re-entry when it's suddenly halted by Libra, who is in space in the Star-Cruiser. He is going to take them down safely in an even larger force field. But, back at Avengers Mansion the Swordsman is keeping vigil over the still healing Mantis. She suddenly bursts from her bed, shouting about the Vision being in trouble and sprints past her suitor.

Karen: Poor Swordsman! Losing his lady to an android...let's crank that inferiority complex up to 11!

Doug: Cut back to Taurus, who figures out that the Gemini in his presence is not the one he thinks he is. As he's about to mete out some justice, the Star-Cruiser returns and the Avengers and the rogue houses emerge. Taurus challenges them, and they revert to his cause. You guessed it -- another free-for-all ensues! In the midst of battle, Taurus is flipped into a swimming pool, and begs the Vision to save him. But, as had happened in Avengers #118, the Vision freezes up, paralyzed with fear! Suddenly it's Mantis who enters the scene (suspension of disbelief #8) and saves van Lunt from drowning. Thor gives the Vision a pretty good chewing-out, and then Libra drops the bombshell of the issue -- the only reason he risked it all to save the warehouse-in-orbit was because he thought Mantis was on board... Mantis, his daughter!

Karen: I know I'm beating a dead horse, but again, I just can't see these guys posing a real challenge to this team of Avengers. Maybe to the Kooky Quartet, but these guys? No, uh uh, not gonna happen.

Doug: OK, admittedly I've been pretty hard on my boy Steve Englehart. I'm generally an Englehart apologist -- the guy's got a Midas touch with most things he's done. But this one... this one is just crazy! Yeah, it's got a ton of action, yeah, it's got a ton of colorful characters, yeah, it's got some pretty good characterization for Thor and the Swordsman... But this ending chapter was just over-the-top. Seriously, when Karen and I agreed that this would be an arc we'd like to look at, I was skeptical about the art teams. When I loaded up the top part of the posts (we usually do that first whenever we lock a post into the queue) and saw Bob Brown and Don Heck would have the bulk of the picture chores over the three issues I figured to take a negative bent toward that aspect of the story. But as I've said earlier, Brown was really solid in the two issues he penciled and Don Heck's inks weren't a total distraction. There are just too many silly goings-on in this one to give it my undivided stamp of approval for the writer's chair! It was fun -- if you didn't think about it too much. Obviously I did...

Karen: Well pal, don't kick yourself, we both thought this would be a good arc to review, but man! It just had a lot of problems. Too many unbelievable things -and we're talking about a comic book! But it's fun in a really goofy way. It reminds me of the last "Die Hard" film -it was so over the top, so ridiculous, that on one level I hated it. Yet if you put your brain in neutral, it was kind of fun. Same here. Not Englehart's best work by any means, but the guy has hit so many homers you gotta give him this one.

Lions and Bulls and Rams... Oh My!

Avengers #121 (March 1974)
"Houses Divided Cannot Stand!"
Steve Englehart-John Buscema/Don Heck

Doug: Avid reader/commenter Richard noted a few weeks ago that he'd like to further discuss the derivation of comic book titles. Students of United States history will recognize today's title as scribe Englehart's taking of liberty with a speech Abraham Lincoln gave during the Civil War, when the President stated that "a house divided against itself cannot stand." And thus we enter the second part of our look at the Zodiac trilogy of issues that ran in the winter of 1973-4.

Doug: Catch your breath now, while you still can, 'cause this one's a non-stop rollercoaster! We lead off right where we left off, with Taurus and the rest of the crime cartel known as Zodiac atop the World Trade Center, with Mantis stunned and teetering on the side of the wall. Taurus is threatening to blast her over the edge, unless the Avengers surrender. And then something happens that struck me as quite odd... the Vision steps forth and plays off that neither he nor the other heroes really care, as Mantis is not an Avenger but a hanger-on with the Swordsman! I just found this really out-of-character for him -- don't get me wrong; I knew what he was doing. It's just that it was the Vision playing the ruse, and not another. So while he tries to sucker Taurus, Wanda revs up a hex and destroys the so-called "Star Slayer".

Karen: I can see your point, but then again, by this time he was a pretty experienced hero. But how the heck did Wanda destroy the big gun? Did it just vibrate itself to pieces? Did every bolt and screw suddenly snap? There were times where they just gave up on explaining what she was doing and just had her blast stuff.

Doug: To say a donnybrook breaks out wouldn't exactly be correct; to say "all hell breaks loose" would be more accurate. In the melee, Thor is stunned by a hand-held version of the star ray, Wanda's knocked out by Virgo, and the Vision has another funny line as he takes out three horoscopers on his own. And then Captain America enters the fray. In one of the lamest cross-pollinations ever, Englehart has Cap burst on the scene, stating, "...when I happened to see you fighting Zodiac." On the tallest building in Manhattan. Uh huh. However, despite this new distraction, Aries makes his way over to the edge, picks up Mantis (yeah, that was a heckuva long balancing act), and chucks her into the Manhattan sky.

Karen: Yeah, Cap's arrival definitely felt contrived. But I love seeing him with the Avengers, so I can forgive Englehart. But again...I have to complain about the Zodiac. What are their actual powers anyway? I mean, Virgo attacks Wanda with a metal bar. The others seem equally unimpressive. Talk about worthless villains!

Doug: Then it's Vision-time (I'll tell you, he was often the focal point in this story). Vizh leaps over the edge and plummets after Mantis. She, having awakened due to the passing cold air, "spreads eagle" to slow her descent. Vision manages to catch her, and then solidifying his arm to diamond-hardness, shoves it into the side of the WTC and uses the tactic to slow the fall, until they land, albeit with a severe jolt. After the landing, the WTC is shaken, and the Avengers immediately spring to action to mend it. There's a great panel of Thor supporting the entire tower, so let's pause a second to comment on the art. This issue features guest-pencils by Big John Buscema with inks by Don Heck. It's obvious that Buscema's dynamism is present, but at times we see a bit too much Don Heck on the surface. But overall, I'd say the art is a success. Funny, though, because I actually thought that as a tandem, Brown and Heck were better last issue than Buscema and Heck this issue. Thoughts?

Karen: Vision's rescue of Mantis was pretty spectacular. I love the fact that Englehart explains that he can only fly when he makes himself lighter than air. It seems like so many other writers or artists would forget this, and we'd get scenes of the Vision carrying people.

Karen: I'm glad you brought up the art. It was great to get a glimpse of Big John Buscema again on the Avengers. Unfortunately there are a lot of Heck-isms. But the layouts, the poses, are obviously Buscema. The faces show much more of Heck's influence.

Doug: Zodiac has used all of the commotion to make their escape, so there's nothing for our good-guys to do but head back to the mansion. Mantis has put herself into a trance in order to heal from the jarring landing. Once in bed, the Swordsman (on the mend from an infection suffered in #117) wheels into her room. The Avengers question him as to Mantis' background. He confesses that he doesn't know much, but does reveal that he met her in Saigon while doing enforcer work for the Asian mob. At his lowest point, she saved his life. We also learn here that she was a simple barmaid. T'Challa then enters the scene, having returned from an adventure with Cap and the Falcon (which was actually the first couple of chapters of the Secret Empire arc).

Karen: What does it say about the Swordsman that he knew so little of Mantis? He even says he was wrapped up in himself so much that he never asked about her. Yet he traveled across the globe with her and brought her to the Avengers. They in turn, took her into their HQ without ever investigating her. OK, when you start examining it, it seems very unlikely. But she injected a sense of mystery into the book. Although she might be the poster child for "pet characters". I think this may also the beginning of the 'quadrangle' with the Vision-Mantis-Swordsman-Wanda, as the Swordsman interprets a comment from Vision as showing a romantic interest in Mantis.

Doug: Meanwhile, back to the bad guys. There's a little unrest among the Zodiac, as Aries has challenged the leadership of Taurus. In a somewhat silly scene, yet providing an excellent visual, they have it out with Taurus coming out on top. But leave it not to Aries to fall into line, as he instead calls a secret meeting of six other members who also disapprove of Taurus' leadership. They scheme against their leader, and decide to call Cornelius van Lunt for financial backing. Ha! Little do they know that van Lunt is secretly Taurus; the mutineers are lured to one of van Lunt's warehouses. While all of this is going on, Thor has been looking for clues to the cartel's whereabouts, and eventually spies their ship.

Karen: I love the picture of Thor sitting on his hammer, watching the ship! I don't think I ever saw that before, or since.

Doug: The other Avengers are alerted, and an assault on the warehouse begins. van Lunt sneaks away during the fracas, and soon after our combatants notice that the doors and windows are sealed shut. Suddenly van Lunt's voice is heard, and then his face appears on a viewscreen. He laughs aloud as he reveals his alter ego. And then the warehouse blasts off!

Zodiac: A Sure Sign of Trouble!

Avengers #120 (February 1974)
"Death-Stars of the Zodiac!"
Steve Englehart-Bob Brown/Don Heck

Doug: Hey, Avengers fans! After our last look-in on Earth's Mightiest Heroes, just about anything we do has a chance of paling in comparison! Steve Englehart and George Perez created a tour de force with their sweeping Serpent Crown Affair. But what about our heroes pitted against a different super-team? As this was (if memory serves) the first multi-part Avengers story I owned, I'm looking forward to seeing if it provides the same wonder that it did three decades ago.

Doug: Well, this one's off to an odd start! I had #119 as a child, so when I saw the splash page to #120 with the two teams fully engaged, I was like "what the heck??" Today we're used to the first page of a comic being a throwaway, but in 1973 it just wasn't common practice. But at any rate, we got rolling just fine once page 2 sat under our noses.

Doug: Comment right away on the art. I'll be honest, and you probably know what's coming. We've been hot and cold around here (well, at least me -- I shouldn't speak for my partner) with Bob Brown's art. But when I saw that the inks were going to be by Don Heck, I was quite fearful for my visual experience. But let me state in front of everyone -- I thought the art in this issue was really good. There was the one obligatory scene Bob drew with some weird-looking breasts, but aside from that I thought the pacing, figure-work, and faces were quite nice. Maybe my surprise influenced my overall p.o.v., but I'm pleased that my memories from so long ago still ring true.

Karen: Unfortunately the Avengers went through a long spell of mediocre art. The book has the same sketchy look as Heck's pencils. What I wouldn't have given to have Cockrum or Buckler or best of all, John Buscema, drawing these stories.
Doug: So, plot synopsis: One Cornelius van Lunt pays a visit to the New York pen. He's interested in recruiting the old Gemini so they can get the Zodiac cartel back together. Joshua Link relates an origin of he and his brother, who is a cop. Seems an electron bath (wonder if that's moisturizing?) gave Joshua control over his good-guy brother Damian. Apparently all of this was revealed in the pages of Astonishing Tales, in some Ka-Zar stories. Partner, did you know any of this backstory, because I did not.

Karen: No, I did not. I've been slowly adding to my collection of Astonishing Tales but I haven't gotten any issues yet with Gemini. It's interesting how we see Englehart borrowing story elements from it here. Chris Claremont would take Zaladane and Garokk from those pages into the X-Men a few years later.

Doug: After the prison scene, we cut immediately to Avengers Mansion, where Jarvis is cutting out to head to the grocery store... on foot. Huh? Anyway, Damian Link gets access to the Mansion, and to our heroes. Seems he's a liaison between the NYPD, SHIELD, and the Avengers, and he has information about Captain America -- Cap's up on murder charges in his own book (although he did manage to sneak onto this mag's cover). But in the midst of the conversation, Joshua Link is able to possess his brother (electron bath, remember?). Mantis immediately picks up on it, and warns the Swordsman to be on guard. As Iron Man gives his officer buddy a tour of the facility (huh? Henry Peter Gyrich would be most displeased), Link spies a folder containing sensitive defense information -- yep, just laying out in the open. Link begins to pick it up when the Swordsman moves -- er, falls, right into Link, slashing the policeman's uniform and revealing the togs of Gemini!

Karen: A nice example of the subtle nature of Mantis' empathic abilities. However, Gemini -like much of the Zodiac -is no match for the Avengers. Seriously, even 12 of these guys shouldn't cause the team to break a sweat. Oh well, I guess their "nefarious plans" are the real threat.

Doug: Well, no sense for ol' Gemini to go quietly. A little donnybrook ensues, and Thor puts a stop to it with one punch. Man, I love the way Englehart wrote Thor! But, as our heroes begin to ponder what just happened, the wall starts to glow and blammo!! In step the full ranks of the Zodiac! Caught by surprise, the Avengers are all-too-easily subdued. Jarvis returns to find the team splattered all over; his initial fears are for naught, however, as Mantis begins to stir. Once everyone's up and about they notice a tape recorder (hah! A little history lesson, ya young punks!) and play what is a challenge from van Lunt. The Zodiac has a star ray powerful enough to kill every Gemini in NYC and they plan to use it. I'll tell you how impactful this story was to me as a child -- I asked my mom what the Zodiac was all about. After she told me, I began reading my horoscope every day in the "Green Sheet" -- an insert in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, as I lived in that city for a couple of years back then.

Karen: Growing up in California, 'Zodiac' had a whole different meaning! The Zodiac Killer was on everyone's minds, and even as a young kid, I had heard about him. But I digress. I really enjoyed the segment with the Swordsman collapsing, and the team discovering that his wound suffered during the Avengers-Defenders War was never properly treated; the police took him to jail, not a hospital, because they thought he was a crook. The poor bastard mutters about trying to earn the team's trust, while his team-mates assure him that he already has. Swordsy was just so tragic!

Karen: I have a hard time buying that souped-up ray gun knocking out Thor! But it's a plot device, to move the story along. The tape recorder did make me chuckle though.

Doug: Our bad boys (and girl) put their giant star-ray doohickey way up on the World Trade Center (hey, Englehart -- the Sears Tower was open by this time, dude, and was the tallest building in the world, not the WTC). The Avengers deduce where the set-up will be and crash the party. While the ray is destroyed, it's not totally put out of commission and Taurus uses it to blast Mantis. As her body teeters on the roof's edge, Taurus issues a final challenge -- to be continued!