My Little Apocalypse Ponies

Pestilence Pony

War Pony

Famine Pony

Death Pony

Seth Green is encouraging people to sign a petition to get the Robot Chicken Apocalypse Ponies made by Hasbro. There doesn't seem to be such a petition, but no matter. These should be made.

Previously on Popped Culture

My Little Pony Madness

By The Power Of My Little Pony

Sgt. Shortcake And Rambo Brite

Kool-Aid Pop Culture? Oh, Yeah!

Far more than a mere quencher of thirst, the Kool-Aid man has infiltrated deep into our collective pop culture consciousness. In the battle of Western pop culture versus Islamic extremism (and, apparently Cobra) the Kool-Aid man was a loyal (if confused) foot soldier, alongside the Steve Erwin, Waldo, The Fonz, Mr. T, Robocop and Rodney Dangerfield. This, according to pop artist Joseph Griffith's painting The Surrender, commemorating the 225th anniversary of the Battle of Yorktown. (Link via culture kills)

Of course the Iranians my see things differently, as they too enjoy a cold glass of sugar water, as judged from this package. Though the Kool-Aid man's smile admittedly a little creepy. (Link via BoingBoing)

The Kool-Aid man also has a surprisingly long history. The Great Wall of China kept the Mongols out for over 1000 years... until one fateful day when some parched Chinese soldier disastrously called out "Hey Kool-Aid!" Spiked Punch from Threadless designer Andy Gonsalves. (Link via Super Punch)

Centuries later, he was still busting down walls. Wanted from Scott VanDenPlas and Joe Van Wetering in Chicago. (Link via Neatorama)



Dane Cook's Kool Aid Skit - Celebrity bloopers here
While I am loathe to spread Dane Cook any further on the interweb, he does capture the oddity of the Kool-Aid man's home destroying ways. And really, why would you want to drink out of an anthropomorphic jug's head?

Oh, no! I would never drink that man's Kool-Aid. Or maybe Kool-Aid ever again. (Link via LOL Factory)

Yep, the Kool-Aid man had his own comic book — in the 80s, naturally. His superpower appears to be the ability to break through walls (naturally) and quench thirst. Still, it beats Aquaman. (Link via Forces of Good)

Even more bizarre, there was also an origin story, "The Hasty Smear of My Smile...", purportedly written by Alan Moore that talks about his birth, his beginnings as a spokespitcher and his eventual meetings with Ken Kesey (The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test) and Jonestown death cult leader Jim Jones. "I wish to Christ I could stop grinning."

I don't know if this was really done by Moore, but the the full four panels posted at Again With The Comics are hilarious. (Link via Super Punch)

Sure, he denies being present when the phrase "Drink the Kool-Aid" took on it's deadly meaning, but with those glasses the Kool-Aid man does bear a striking resemblance to Jim Jones. Get Kult-Aid at Loiter.



5 Most Awkward Koo-Aid Ads
While it is great having the ability to break through walls, not knowing what is on the other side can have some very serious repercussions.



Family Guy Kool-Aid
In TV ads, kids all love it when the Kool-Aid man comes bursting through the wall, but in reality it's kind of annoying.

Of course if you keep smashing down people's walls, at some point someone is going to make you fix it back up. Community Service available at AntiClothes. (Link via Adventures of Accordion Guy)



You'd figure being made of glass and hanging around kids, this sort of thing would happen more often.

My Little Pony Madness

In the 1980s my sister was obsessed with My Little Pony. They were candy-coloured, sparkly and everything a teenage boy wanted nothing to do with. Some people have decided to do something about this. Tiffany, this is for you...

My Little Alien: I knew there was something wrong with My Little Pony, I just didn't know it would come bursting through my chest cavity. This, and several more are from Mari Kasurinen, who has a Flickr page, a Deviant Art site and a website devoted to her custom toy creations.

My Little Edward Scissorhands: A misunderstood My Little Pony with razor-sharp blades for hooves. Marvelous! It even looks like Johnny Depp!


My Little Buckbeak: Nothing really horrifying about this custom My Little Pony, in fact the Buckbeak was a friendly to Harry Potter. I just loved the look.

My Little Han Solo: Had carbonite freezing been available in my teen years, this is how all of my sisters Ponies would have ended up.

My Little Boba Fett: If you have My Little Han Solo, you naturally have to have My Little Boba Fett. Now no more of this before George Lucas gets any ideas.

My Little Borg: If the Borg were to assimilate everything then it follows that they would assimilate My Little Pony as well. But it would be there undoing...

My Little Cthulhu: H.P. Lovecraft's embodiment of extreme horror, terror and evil, Cthulhu is a perfect candidate for a My Little Pony mod.


My Little Worf: Comes with his own bat'leth. I think Klingons would secretly love My Little Pony, just like they love prune juice — because they are both so terrible.


My Little Master Chief: The Chief isn't quite as imposing as a pony, but I'd happily stick a few plasma grenades on him, just to see what happens.


My Little Trojan Horse: Ah, the Classical Studies education pays off once more. How could the Trojan's resist bringing in something so cute? Which makes me wonder about Trojan condoms — oh sure, it's clever, there's something hidden inside! But when it gets out (and it does) it will slaughter you and burn everything you have to the ground. Hmm, guess that's why I'm not in advertising.

And for good measure, Robot Chicken's Apocalypse Ponies: Pestilence Pony, War Pony, Famine Pony, and Death Pony.

The Geek Prince

Seth Green is the coolest guy in Hollywood. Sorry Johnny and Brad, you can't hold a candle to this scrawny, pasty geek.

It all crystallized for me during Family Guy’s subdued version of the original Star Wars. At the end of the episode Peter Griffin (voiced by series creator Seth MacFarlane) bickers with son Chris (voiced by Green) about Robot Chicken's take on the series.

Chris: Didn't Robot Chicken already do this three months ago?
Peter: I wouldn't worry about it, Chris. I don't even think people are aware of that show's existence.
Chris: Well, I don't know, Dad. I think a decent number of people watch it.
Peter: Oh, really? Define 'decent'.
Chris: I think it's the highest rated show on Cartoon Network, and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience.
Peter: Well, yeah. But double ten people is like twenty people. So, uh, what kind of numbers are we talking about here, you know?
Chris: Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. It's a legitimate show and they beat you to the punch.

It was a fantastic piece of meta comedy that got me thinking about how many cool projects Green has been involved in.

The first time I saw Green was as Scott Evil, the reluctant son of megalomaniac evil scientist Dr. Evil. The disbelieving Scott voiced everything I have yelled during a James Bond film: “Why don’t you just kill him?” Why not indeed? It was a great character that managed to hold up against all of Mike Myers’ mugging.

That same year Green appeared as the werewolf Oz in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He was laconic and sarcastic and so much cooler than Michael J. Fox’s Teen Wolf. There haven’t been many positive pop culture portrayals of werewolves and Green’s should have made lycanthropes the “it” supernatural being.

Green got his next badge of cool by starring in a cancelled Fox sitcom. The network is infamous for green lighting cutting-edge comedies and then killing them off before the season is over. Green earned his stripes with Greg the Bunny, a show populated by a group of foul-mouthed puppets. It was dealing in bad puppets before Avenue Q and Wondershowzen and was hilarious. So naturally, it was killed off.

The next time I saw Green, or at least heard him, was on Family Guy. Though I think the show slips over the line from sharp to mean more often than not these days, it broke new comedy ground, constantly making me wonder how they could get away with what they aired. Chris is a wonderfully stupid/smart, horny teenager, who is getting notably better story lines so far this year.

Then of course there is Robot Chicken, a brilliant cornucopia of pop culture parodies acted out by stop-motion-animated action figures. Co-created by Green it is one of the funniest shows on TV. It mines all the TV and movies of my youth and asks what happened to the characters when the cameras turned off. No childhood memory is sacred – the Care Bears engage in ethnic cleansing; Masters of the Universe sex tapes; Apocalypse Ponys! It’s the most fun you can have playing with toys

Buffy, Austin Powers, Greg the Bunny, Family Guy, Robot Chicken – the guy has impeccable instincts in picking his projects – and has made geeky cooler than ever.

Who Taught You to Live Like That?

When is the right time to expose your child to the Dead Kennedys? Is the Forgotten Rebels’ Surfin’ on Heroin an appropriate lullaby? These are not abstract questions, but something I wondered while driving in the car with the six-day-old Tristan with the iPod on shuffle. He's already been surround by music during his few days on this world. We had the laptop in the delivery room and he came into the world listening to Metric, coincedentally arriving to Combat Baby.

Yesterday he sat in my arms while I was watching Robot Chicken and he seemed vaguely attentive as the Trix rabbit sold coke to the rest of the breakfast cereal mascots in a great parody of Blow. He’s not just getting pop culture moments, but meta references – not that they mean anything to him now. But I figure it will seep in at some point. I knew all The Beatles music when I was in high school, but not because I had listened to it, but because my parents had for years before. So I hope you like Sloan, kiddo.

Is that so bad? I don’t have any desire to hear in what manner the wheels on the bus rotate, or how many humps Alice the Camel (or Fergie for the that matter) has. That isn’t entirely true of course, as I will happily sing to Tristan, but I don’t feel the need to only play that kind of music around him.

So is there pop culture for babies? Is it those songs? Books that you read to them? I suppose I will find out soon. So far it’s just been stealth marketing. To date, Tristan has two outfits with Winnie the Pooh on them and an offer for Winnie the Pooh books that come with a Tigger clock – all from Disney. He also has Clifford the Big Red Dog on a quilt and Sesame Street characters on his Pampers. Who are they indoctrinating, him or me?

So It’s Come To This

The Simpsons is out of ideas and has been for years. Family Guy is pointlessly cruel. American Dad is derivative. Is this where the state of animation is these days?

It’s not that bad, but cartoons have certainly seen better days. The Simpsons has begun its 18th season, which means the show has been on air for the entire life of anyone in high school. With that kind of longevity, the quality was bound to decline, especially as at its height it was the best comedy on TV. I now view each new season like Saturday Night Live - it will always be on and some years will be better than others. It’s still better than most shows on TV, but it suffers when compared to its prime (Seasons 4-6). The Simpsons is my first animated love, but even a true believer like myself recognizes that it hasn’t been on the cutting edge for years.

Family Guy once was that edge. When it debuted in 1999 it was genuinely shocking, breaking taboos and pissing off many people. It was off the air in two seasons, a victim of poor ratings. I was a huge fan and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing in primetime and thought it was a travesty when Fox pulled it (as they do with most innovative shows). With constant reruns on Teletoon and the Cartoon Network and massive DVD sales, Family Guy got a reprieve. The first few episodes had the old flare, but something has changed. Now it’s just as likely to be cruel than funny. They continue to draw out scenes, repeating phrases and motions over and over and over again. It’s not funny. I get it, but it’s not funny.

As for American Dad, the less said the better. It is clearly a redo of Family Guy that Seth MacFarlane created when Family Guy was pulled off the air. It has grown more into its own lately, but the comedy bits are few and far between. I like Roger the alien though. I don’t see it breaking any longevity records.

So what’s working? South Park is going strong, still managing to generate headlines after 10 seasons. Last year they managed to infuriate Tom Cruise, Scientology and Muslims. They are equal opportunity offenders and still surprisingly sharp, if occasionally a little heavy-handed with the moralizing. I never thought Trey Parker and Matt Stone would be around for so long – and neither did they – but I’m glad they are.

This decade has produced some new and innovative shows that while they will never make a major network, are the cleverest work I’ve seen in years. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a surreal show about a life-size Happy Meal – Master Shake, Frylock and Meatwad. They don’t really do much except hang out in their house and bicker while annoying their neighbour Carl. I think it is hilarious, but that may say more about me than the show.

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law is, like the Aqua Teens, a creation of Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network in the U.S. Harvey is a former superhero who had a show in the ‘60s and now acts as a criminal defence lawyer for a roster of Hanna-Barbera characters. Shaggy gets busted for drugs; The Jetsons sue the people of Earth for screwing up the planet; Grape Ape is charged with steroid use. It’s a show that you need to have spent your youth on a couch on Saturday mornings to appreciate fully. Luckily, I am well prepared.

In the same vein as Harvey Birdman but more a friend of those with ADD is Robot Chicken. Creator Seth Green and pals make minutes-long pop culture vignettes using stop animated action figures. Each episode is only 10 minutes or so long, but they pack a lot into each show. Jesus is The Bride in Kill Bunny; Emperor Palpatine gets a collect call from Darth Vader (see below); The Superfriends are the new Real Life cast; Santa is murdered in Christmas Town. This has only begun airing in Canada and I’ve only caught a few episodes, but I’m hooked. It’s like all the non-sequitur moments of Family Guy without the loosely written plot to slow it down. It’s great stuff and I encourage any pop culture fan to check it out.