Orel Hershiser confirms what you've known since the instant you first learned of his existence

Just a second ago Baseball Tonight was doing some stupid fucking segment where Hershiser and Doug Glanville made their choices for the five best offenses in baseball.  The fact that they were doing this was not what made it fucking stupid--the manner in which they did it was.  Apparently ESPN did some focus group research and came to the conclusion that having analysts use a giant touchscreen is OMG A BIG HIT WITH TEH VIEWERZ.  I have no idea why that would be the case.  But some producer decided that rather than having Orel and Doug tell an intern what their choices for that top 5 were in advance so a graphic could be prepared with each man's list, it would be a lot more fun to let them use a touchscreen to drag/drop icons with the teams' logos into open spots on a top 5 ladder.  IT WAS RIVETING.  Mostly because Hershiser struggled mightily with the drag/drop process, putting his teams into Doug's spots by mistake, then having to clear the board a couple of times before finally getting it right.  He was self-deprecating about it.  At one point he jokingly asked Karl Ravech if it was a 45 or 60 minute edition of the show.

Anyways, the reason I'm making this into a post is because once the segment was over and they were going to commercial, Glanville and Ravech really started giving it to him.  His response: "You think growing up with a name like 'Orel' I was never embarrassed?"  Oof.  Poor middle school-aged Orel.

A Final Bow

October 16th, 2007 may not seem like an important date to any of you, but it was quite possible the most nerve racking night spent by a computer for me. I wanted my first post to go as smoothly as possible, and for some reason I decided that posting at night would help me ease into my new role. So I went to the ultimate source of hockey dumbery - Daryl Reaugh - and crafted my very first FJM post. The tag 'hockey' was surprisingly already created but it has come a far way, honey. Formerly banished with other great one post only tags such as "this man has no penis (Gregg Doyel edition)" and "more like designated shitter," "hockey" is now tied with "gene wojciechowski," "lunchpail alert," and "something that doesn't suck."

However, I have to sadly make my last post here at FireJay. It has truly been a great forum for myself and my colleagues. After meticulously checking the spelling of my horrific typing and making sure that everything is bold and italic like I like it, there's a little bit of joy that comes through for me when I click that little post button. And tonight, as I fix the posting options to put this up at the right time, it will sadly be my last here.

My announcement may come as a shock to some, and most others will not care. I'm perfectly fine with that. I have taken a job that I feel has brought up a conflict of interest with my posting and a potential career path is important to myself and my soon-to-be bride than posting about horrible hockey writing could be. I'll miss posting and might come back to comment every once and a while, but for today, I'm going to have to hang up my laptop and say thanks to all 9 of you loyal readers.

Tonus - CHOX!!1!

bengoodfella - You'll find other hockey posts out there. I just know it.

My fellow FJM crew - It's your turn to try and make a joke.

CHart - 0.0