So Like, Andruw Jones Puts the Dodgers in Good Shape, Right?

Michael Ventre doesn't think so.

[The] Dodgers overpaid for [Andruw Jones], although it’s only for two years, and besides, it’s not my money.

Right off the bat, I'll clarify my standpoint on this. Yes, Jones was overpaid for. He's not worth $18M/season even in this market. It is only two years, however, and the Dodgers are in a spot such that a major improvement at one position could easily be the difference between winning the division and losing.

The Jones move is also beneficial because it gives the team some options. Besides adding another much-needed stick to their odd assemblage of geezers and punks, it creates a positive logjam in the outfield. Jones will play center field, which will move Juan Pierre to left, leaving youngsters Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier to fight it out for right field.

How is that positive? Explain to me how moving Juan Pierre to left field is in any way beneficial for your team. Pierre was a dismal CF, won't be an awesome LF or anything (speed doesn't equal good left-fielder....see also: Podsednik, Scott). In a perfect world, the Dodgers swallow their pride, bench/trade Pierre, and allow younger, better, non-awful Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier to start every day.

Or alternatively, slop that .331 OBP and .353 SLG in left. Those are good numbers at a key offensive position (especially in the NL) right?

It may not be much of a bout. The Dodgers’ most pressing need, even beyond a bat, is starting pitching.

Wrong. Go ahead and prove to me why you're wrong by mentioning good people who start games for the Dodgers.

Their rotation of Brad Penny

The very good pitcher who allowed 9 HR in 208 IP last year.

Derek Lowe

The very good pitcher whose season ERA has not been higher than 3.9 for the last 3 years.

Chad Billingsley

The 3rd year 23-year old who posted a 3.31 ERA and struck out 141 guys in 147 IP last year.

Jason Schmidt

The veteran who prior to last year's injury-destroyed season put up consecutive WHIPs of 1.19, 0.95 (!!!), 1.08, 1.42, and 1.26. This is your 4th starter.

plus whatever retread, fill-in or promising kid they decide to toss into the fray

Apparently you've never heard of Esteban Loaiza, who the Dodgers have, and is a perfectly capable 5th starter on a contending team. And just think, this is who the Dodgers start if no "promising kid" breaks out in the spring.

is not good enough to get them to the World Series. It may not be good enough to win the division.

Holy shit. Be more blatantly wrong please.

Let me get this straight. That rotation might not be good enough to win the division. Only teams with rotations like Brandon Webb, Doug Davis, Livan Hernandez, Micah Owings, and some combination of Yusmeiro Petit, Edgar Gonzalez and the ghost of Randy Johnson, can win the division (with a much, MUCH worse supporting offense than the Dodgers).

That rotation can't go to the World Series, you need one of the great all-time staffs to do something like that! A staff like Jeff Francis, Aaron Cook, Josh Fogg, Jason Hirsh, and some combination of Ubdalo Jimenez, Rodrigo Lopez, and Franklin Morales. The Dodgers don't have a fucking chance!

(Before the pro-Rockies faction of FireJay jumps down my throat, I'm not bashing the Rockies, just illustrating how ridiculous it is for Ventre to rule out the Dodgers from the WS with their rotation.)

Even though the $18.1 mil is a lot of dough per season to pay a guy who is coming off a disappointing year, Jones has the talent to rebound, and more significantly, he has the incentive to do so.

Why is incentive more significant than talent? Every fucking major league baseball player has the incentive to rebound from a bad season. It could be for money, for personal pride, or desire to win the World Series, but every fucking player has the incentive to rebound from a bad year. Don't feed people this bullshit.

From the moment he puts his Jown Hancock on his new contract, Jones will be working hard in preparation for the next one.

1) The "W" is nowhere near the "H" on the keyboard. I have no idea how you fucked that up.

2) This point is totally unique to Andruw Jones, and no other player in baseball is faced with this situation.

More likely, though, given the tendency of major league players to bear down and produce when they know there’s a pot of gold waiting for them

Like Andruw Jones, the very guy you're talking about, did in 2007.

2008 and 2009 could turn out to be career years for Jones.

For completely dissimilar reasons to those you stated, yes.

He’s never been a great hitter for average. He has only hit over .300 once; that was in the 2000 season, when he hit .303.

You don’t get Andruw Jones to hit for average. You get him to patrol center field and to drive in runs.

You forgot walking. He's very good at walking, and it's a very important difference between him and this guy, known for his negative VORP in 2006 despite driving in 100+ runs. Did I mention driving in runs is a stupid way to evaluate Andruw Jones?

With the Dodgers, he’ll be batting behind Rafael Furcal and Pierre, who presumably will do their parts and get on base.

Our friend Michael has turned delusional and is now presuming that Juan Pierre, the perpetual MVP of the MLB Out-Star Game, is going to contribute by ::gasp:: getting on base!

Does the signing of Jones make up for the lack of desire in pursuit of Alex Rodriguez? Serious Dodger watchers knew that A-Rod was more likely to sign with the Kansas City Royals than he was to don the Blue.

The Kansas City Royals wear an equal amount of blue as the Los Angeles Dodgers.

It was a plausible scenario only if you were a fantasy league geek living in your parents’ basement.

Nice. While Ventre goes ahead and alienates the basement-dwelling, Pop-Tart-chomping, Sega Genesis-playing faction of his readers, I'm going to ask legitimate questions.

1) When was there some sort of stereotype that fantasy league geeks, people who presumably have no life but to study up on facts/numbers and understand how baseball works, believe in wild and crazy places for big-ticket stars like A-Rod to land?

2) No professional writer or "baseball man" thought that A-Rod had a shot at going to the Dodgers? Really? There wasn't anything written about him going there and following in Torre's footsteps? There was never a fucking week in which people didn't talk about anything but "A-Rod to the Dodgers?"

Nah, must just be some fantasy geek pipe dream. I have never seen such an out-of-context and unnecessary geek/parents' basement reference.

Anyone else notice how super-personally I'm taking this? My mom even came downstairs because of the noise from how ferociously I was typing! I really hope she brings Teddy Grahams next time.....

And does it help them keep pace with their area rivals to the south, the Los Angeles Angels, who also nabbed a high-profile center fielder in Torii Hunter?

Doesn't matter. The Angels do not play in the same league as the Dodgers.

But if the Dodgers don’t use Jones as a first step in the process of building a World Series contender, it’ll be a waste of money.

For crissake Ventre, Jones works perfectly fine as the last step in the process of building a World Series contender. The Dodgers as-is are well poised to compete and win the division. There's no magic formula for a "World Series team", you just have to get fucking lucky in the playoffs. Thinking the Dodgers can win the division = thinking the Dodgers can make it to the World Series. And I don't think there's an idiot out there that doesn't think that this Dodgers team has a legitimate shot at the NL West title.

Who's This Stan McNeal Guy?

And why does he have a hidden, bitter disdain for people who like statistics?

Hunter the smart pick among likely free agents
More than Ichiro or Andruw Jones, outfielder supplies power, leadership

Hold on just a second there....the article hasn't even started yet and you just said that Torii Hunter has more power than Andruw Jones????

(Stats are 2B/3B/HR)

Torii Hunter 2004: 37/0/23
Andruw Jones 2004: 34/4/29

Torii Hunter 2005: 24/1/14 (granted, only 416 AB)
Andruw Jones 2005: 24/3/51

Torii Hunter 2006: 21/2/31
Andruw Jones 2006: 29/0/41

Now as for leadership.....well....I don't have any fancyschmanz numbers for that. Sorry. Maybe you're right?

Your assignment: Pick the guy you'd sign. All three are expected to become free agents after the season, and all three rate at least a 50-50 chance of leaving the only franchise for which they've played. Forget the sticky details like money and terms for now. Focus on the players. Who would you want manning your center field?

Andruw Jones. He's a significantly better player than Torii Hunter. Hunter's never even come close to the batting average he's had this year, so I'd assume he's getting pretty lucky. Jones still has a .277 EqA despite his .229 batting average, significantly below his prior BA's, so it's safe to assume Jones will bounce back. Ichiro will be 34 next year, and his speed will probably start to decline. I'd imagine his batting average will start to as well.

I'd take Hunter in a heartbeat, and I know he's the least accomplished of the three.

Because he's the worst. And before I hear things about defense, he's not as much a god with the glove as people think. Since his 2001 when he had a 22 FRAA, that number has been -12/-1/-3/1/1 over the past 5 years.

Doesn't matter. Three reasons I want him anyway: staying power, upside and leadership.

Staying power. Hunter, 31, has an athletic body that figures to make him an elite player for many years.

He's not an elite player now.....at age 30.....in his prime.

Jones, the youngest of the three at 30, has what scouts call a "soft body" that is more susceptible to fading. He already has lost a step in center. Suzuki, 33, may outlast them both, but he doesn't hit anything but singles. Power plays better in today's game.

Fair enough. I figure I'd do you as much justice as possible by posting your reasonable things as well.

Upside. Suzuki doesn't have much room for improvement. Another six years like his first six and he's a slam-dunk first-ballot Hall of Famer. Depending on how you judge Jones, he already may be declining. Do you think his struggles this season -- 54 strikeouts to 37 hits, six homers and a .215 average -- are the result of a prolonged slump or an indication that he's losing bat speed? The next four months will tell us.

Valid on Suzuki. The .215 average is far below Jones' .265 career BA. Even if he's lost bat speed, there's no way that accounts for all of it. Jones also has 30 walks in 192 AB's. His OBP is about par for the course despite his batting average, which will inevitably climb towards the mean.

Hunter, meanwhile, is having a career year. He ranks in the A.L.'s top five in homers and RBIs and is hitting .315. Maybe he has elevated his offense because this is a walk year. Or maybe, as he says, he's improving because he's still learning.

Or maybe he's just goddam lucky on balls in play. Hunter's never even batted .290 in a season. There's no way this .315 bullshit is sustainable.

In the part of Pine Bluff, Ark., where Hunter grew up, there weren't many hitting lessons or private coaching sessions. He was a first-round pick because of athleticism and will. He was so raw as a minor leaguer that he didn't know what a slider was. His swing still isn't exactly pretty, and, as a scout says, "He can be pitched to. So can Andruw. The toughest out of the three is Ichiro."

So....sign Ichiro? What are you arguing again?

"I don't know about holes in my swing," Hunter says. "I know I'm an athlete. I can make adjustments. If they throw me one place 10 times, I'll adjust on three of them and get hits."

I bet you get hits on 2.7 of them.

Leadership. What Hunter lacks in OBP, he makes up for in the clubhouse.

Oh boy, are we going to hear about how firing people up to make people play more gooder and being a wicked cool guy that buys iPods and Segways for everyone on their birthdays is somehow a viable substitute for getting on base in an effort to win a baseball game?

Because I don't work for the A's or some other stathead organization, Hunter's leadership is my differentiating factor.

And so the March Against Statisically Intelligent Analysis of Baseball has begun, lead by Stan McNeal. I can't help but feel that "the A's or some other stathead organization" had a teensy bit of negative connotation tossed in there. Stupid newfangled, wonky baseball teams, always interested in people getting on base instead of paying people to have this arbitrary leadership quality that may or may not contribute to winning.

This stat matters, too: The Twins have reached the postseason four of the past five years. Hunter's professionalism has had something to do with that.

Or, team ERA's of 3.95, 3.71, 4.03, 4.41, 4.12. Actually, being constantly above average in the pitching department is, in retrospect, probably a result of Torii Hunter's professionalism.

"He's just got that thing that not very many people have. He's special," Twins manager Ron Gardenhire says.

Cool.

So what do you prefer? Reaching base or reaching out to teammates?

Reaching base. Reaching base wins baseball games. Reaching out to teammates wins friends. If you want to win baseball, choose the former. To win friendball, choose the latter.

Running up pitch counts or running into walls?

Running up pitch counts. This makes a pitcher have to work hard and might get him tired. In addition, it gets a hitter familiar with a pitcher's tendencies through first-hand experience. Running into walls hurts and isn't recommended by physicians. It just sounds stupid. By the way, according to Grinderball Prospectus 2007, Aaron Rowand outrunsintowalls Hunter by a factor of 2.67. Eat it, Torii.

Walking or winning?

Is that an actual question? I'm assuming "walking" represents people that have high OBPs and "winning" to be Torii Hunter? The burden of proof is on you, McNeal, because here I was under the false pretense that walking is positively correlated to winning. I guess the A's need to revamp their strategy, because they aren't making the postseason enough. Those STATHEAD MORONS are choosing walking over winning! (it's interesting how similar the fortunes of the A's and the Twins have been since 2000....they both make the playoffs a lot, and neither has been to the World Series).

One longtime talent evaluator who likes all three center fielders acknowledges, "You're going to win more championships with Torii."

Torii Hunter Championships Won: 0

Championships is a choice I'd take every day.

Explain yourself sir, you've gone mad! I, personally would only take championships on most days. April 12th, May 21-24, October 12th, and the third Tuesday in November are days reserved for me to not choose championships, just to keep myself humble.

Seriously, there's nothing like a stupid universal truism like that to round out a truly dismal article.