Her Whole Life

 Lee Lee has been waiting her whole life for this day...

She started kindergarten!

Big Minute

 We had a very exciting minute here at our home... two teeth came were lost within one minute of each other - and without tears or a collision involved.  I do think some competition was involved.

Cool Shot

 What a cool shot Hubby sent me from Howard and his drive to the State wresting championship.

The Turtles

 Caroline and Howard had their first ever kindergarten field trip last week -- a HUGE deal for our twin kindergarteners.  When I asked them their favorite parts of the day, Caroline said "the turtles."

It wasn't until I saw this picture her school posted on facebook following the field trip that I had an idea of what was so impressive about "the turtles."

Grown Up

 I'm still not over how grown up both Howard and Brady look in this picture.

1000 Words

 1000 Words

Stroll

These kids  took an Easter stroll on the Promenade.

Teamwork

 On Saturday afternoon, Lee Lee and Howard worked a really long time together to build the tallest tower possible out of magnatiles... I'd say they did a great job.

Second Lemonade Stand

 Last Sunday our kiddos held another lemonade stand -- this week's flavors were strawberry lemonade and watermelon lime.

The weather wasn't as gorgeous as it was a week before so there was less foot traffic in the neighborhood... so my children pretty much just bought lemonade from each other.  I hope this is not foreshadowing of any of their future adult business endeavors.

These Girls

 These girls are so awesome, with their little brother looking on.

And man, in this picture, Lee Lee and Tracey really look alike.

Harlem Wizards

 Last week, the plan was for me to take our four oldest kiddos to watch the Harlem Wizards at our local high school.

When the night arrived, Tracey had a really bad cough, I had already made arrangements for a sitter to keep our two youngests, AND  Howard had earned an extra kid's ticket from school because he volunteered to play basketball with a Wizard during lunchtime... so on the night of the game, I took three of my children and one of Howard's friends to the game.

The Harlem Wizards are great basketball players who are also entertainers, and we saw them two years ago (Feb 2020) and had a lot of fun.

This time, Howard had the experience of meeting the players at his school, and he knew before the game that he wanted to buy a game jersey and participate in the pre-game warm ups.

We had a great time.

1000 Words

 1000 Words

100th Day of School

 100 Days of School celebration meant that our three elementary kiddos dressed like they were 100 years old.

That Fast

 This girl discovered her first wiggly tooth when she woke up Sunday morning.  And by the time we picked her up from school Monday afternoon, the tooth was out.

That's how fast these kiddos are growing up.

Trapper

 Howard is officially a successful hunter/trapper.

Howard and Daddy were moving things around in our shed and discovered mouse droppings, so (under Daddy's guidance) Howard was charged with hunting and trapping the mice.  He was even promised a commission for each mouse removed from the shed.

Initially, Howard and Daddy set up standard spring mouse traps with peanut butter on the trigger.  But, when he checked the traps, Howard found that the peanut butter was eaten, but the traps did not go off.

So, Howard and Daddy fashioned a different kind of trap.  Howard filled a bucket half-full with water and sprinkled sun flower seeds in the bucket, so they were floating on top of the water.  The bucket looked like it was full of sunflower seeds.  You pretty much have to touch the seeds to know they are just a layer of seeds floating in water.

Then, Howard took a small piece of lumber and crated a ramp up to the top of the bucket.  He put peanut butter at the top of the piece of wood with sun flower seeds stuck to it and a trail of sun flower seeds coming down the ramp.  His hope was that a mouse would follow the trail up the ramp, and then see the sunflower seeds in the bucket and climb down for an all-you-can-eat feast of seeds only to drown in the bucket of water.

Howard was THRILLED to catch his first mouse a few days ago.  Ignore his crazy outfit -- it was Wacky Wednesday at school.  Since this picture was taken, he has caught a second mouse as well.

1000 Words

 1000 Words

Future Window

 A few weeks ago our twins were home doing a virtual school quarantine.  One of their classmates tested positive for covid, and this was before the district required masks on students (now masks are required to try to reduce the need for quarantines).

Howard and Caroline have had several exposures to virtual schooling for over a year-and-a-half (since April 2020).  They have done virtual schooling for various quarantine periods for preschool, pre-kindergarten, and they watched Tracey do it as a kindergartener and first grader.  I'll be honest, I was pretty impressed with how well my twins did with it for the couple of days it was required.

During the time my twins were home for virtual learning, they both had runny noses and minor coughs, and when that happens at our house, I give the kids hot green tea with honey and lemon (it works SOO well!). Most of the children don't especially like it, but they drink it and they know it helps make their throat and their coughs better.

So, here  was my Caroline, as a kindergarten in a virtual class meeting with her morning tea next to her.  She looked so grown up and independent, I felt like I was given a window in the future -- her future.

I don't know what path the Lord has for Caroline, but there's a chance she'll be in virtual meetings with her morning coffee... and I got to see it here twenty years in advance.

The Night Before

 I read a post on Facebook a week or so ago about the night before you send your child to kindergarten and I bookmarked it because it really resonated with me.  Our twins start kindergarten this year, but I have completely different emotions about each of them starting.

Howard is ready.  Howard needs kindergarten as the next step in his development.  I'm sure there will be things that make him nervous and challenge him, but he is ready.  I am very proud sending him off to kindergarten.  It's really not bittersweet... its just sweet.  He's ready.

Caroline is ready too... but she is a completely different child from her twin brother, and I have entirely different feelings about her starting kindergarten.  Caroline is SO incredibly kind, caring, considerate, and sweet.  She asks me an average of 10 times a day what she can do to help me.  She also NEEDS her sleep.  She gets incredibly emotional right around 5:30pm each day because she's just getting tired.  When she gets emotional, she has a hard time expressing what is making her upset, and that makes her frustrated.  Kindergarten is going to be a huge adjustment for Caroline.  Kindergarten days are going to be VERY long for my Sweet Caroline.  She is ready, and she will brighten her class, and she and Howard will be together and support one another... but my Sweet Caroline, sending her to kindergarten is bittersweet.

When I ready the below Facebook post about a mother sending her child to kindergarten, I thought of my Caroline.  I am going to share it with her in mind:

The night before you send your kid to Kindergarten is a strange place. (This is a long one. And I'd being lying if I said I didn't cry while writing it.)

You make dinner, bathe everyone, referee the normal fights, do the obligatory loads of laundry... all a typical night's work.

But when she puts those little pajamas on and climbs into bed while the sun still has its face over the horizon, and whether you stayed home with her all these years or sent her to preschool, you'll feel a little panic... a little pain your heart hasn't felt before.

It's tomorrow.

I remember it both times very well.

She will have her sweet little backpack packed and ready next to the front door. She will stop and admire with anticipation her brand new outfit for the first day. She'll ask if you packed her lunch and did you remember her juice and you'll say yes. The house will be quiet as everyone settles into their beds. You'll crawl in beside her and ask her if she's excited about her first day of school. She'll say yes, she'll say she's nervous, and you'll tell her she's gonna do a great job. You'll read her a book, you'll say your prayers together, and she'll drift off to sleep.

But long after she's drooling on her pillow, you won't be able to get out of the bed from her.

You'll study her face and you'll worry.

What if she gets lost in the hall and can't find her way back to class?

What if she gets laughed at because she says "pupcake" instead of "cupcake" or what if she doesn't make a single friend all day long?

What if she can't open her milk carton at lunchtime or her water bottle at snack time and what if she falls on the playground and skins her knee but her teacher is too busy to hold her while she cries?

What if she misses you badly all day long?

What if she doesn't think about you at all?

I remember.

I remember the worrying that night.

Did I let her have too much screen time?

Did I play with her enough?

Does she know that every single one of those days that we were home together were days I wrote upon my heart forever?

That every sandwich I made, every pool day, every morning we snuggled in bed together were gifts from God Himself to me and that even when I acted like I wanted to be anywhere else, there was nowhere else as satisfying to me as being with her?

Does she only remember the days I lost my crap on her or does she first think of the spontaneous ice creams and the time we ran and played in the rain and the silly faces and smiles that only took place between her and me?

Did I affirm her enough so she believes she can attempt anything, but not so much that she's devastated when she fails?

Does she know she WILL fail and she SHOULD fail?

And does she know I love her even when she does?

Does she remember God is with her?

Did I listen to her enough?

Does she know she can tell me anything?

Did I do enough, love enough, prepare her enough?

I see you, Momma.

I know what you're going to do tonight.

You'll lie next to her, and you'll study her eyelashes. What will her eyes see at school that you fought for five years to protect her heart from? Hatefulness, images on phones, bullies. Her eyes will see it all. But they'll also see kindness and opportunities and field trips and beautiful friends. They'll see her future and they'll look for you in every carline and they'll light up when she opens the door to crawl inside that moving cocoon at the end of the day.

You'll study her hands. Will she fidget with them like only you notice she does when she's nervous at lunchtime because no one sits with her? How will her little fingers look holding a big girl pencil at her big girl desk? Will her hands touch the shoulder of a friend she's praying for? Will they know to fold in prayer when she's panicked? Will they raise in the air to ask a question if she doesn't understand? Will they ever be tempted to throw a punch? Will they show mercy when mercy isn't deserved?

You'll watch her breathe. How many times will she hold her breath in worry as a teacher passes back out graded papers? How many cold mornings will she watch her breath in the morning air as she begrudgingly walks into the school building? How many times will she lose her breath in laughter over something a friend says so hilariously and how many times will she struggle to catch her breath in sobs of brokenness at disappointment? Does she know that every breath of her life will be important to you until you breathe your last one?

Oh, Momma. You'll put your face next to hers and you'll pray a prayer you've probably prayed before, but you'll pray it from a place of desperation unlike your heart has ever felt. You'll ask God to protect her. You'll ask Him for His mercy where you failed her. You'll ask Him for good friends to surround her. You'll pray her teacher loves her well and loves her hard in your daily absence. You'll pray for her heart to always be listening for His voice and for that precious heart to be protected from pain and rejection and heartache. You'll pray for boys to be good to her and for girls to be kind to her and for her days to be filled with nothing but happiness.

You'll get up and you'll go to your own bed and collapse in the same exhaustion you collapse in every night. Morning will come early, as usual. And you know what?

You'll be ready.

So will she.

You'll need some coffee, so I recommend treating yourself to one not made in your kitchen this time. Target it waiting. Those big red carts will take your mind off of what she's doing or not doing for at least an hour.

Lift your cup high. You did it. You didn't do it perfectly, but you did it consistently and you did it well.

You survived morning sickness and labor and diapers and nursing and colic and sleep deprivation and potty training and learning to walk and her first black eye and her first tummy bug. You survived the ear aches and ear tubes and toddler sleep regression and the Terrific Twos and the Threenager stage. You survived preschool and Hand Foot Mouth and you survived school shopping. You survived school orientation and you survived last night.

You'll survive today, too.

Soon, it will be 2:00 and you'll need to drive your van to the school to get in your first carline. It'll feel like forever 'til you see her little face on that sidewalk, but I almost guarantee you, it will be smiling. She's a different kid. She's a big kid now. She grew up today and she's going to be so proud.

And for the first time in 24 hours, you'll let out the breath you've been holding and a whole new normal will have begun.

You've got to let her go, Momma.

She's got a world to change and you've got sleepovers and after school snacks to prepare for.

God's got her. And God's got you.

And those of us who have done it already know YOU’VE got THIS.

Welcome to Kindergarten!!!

Hug Them

About ten days ago, we were invited to our first birthday party post-quaratine.  Twins from Tracey's kindergarten class had an outdoor water party with a few families -- it was probably 30 people total including children, but maybe 10 families or thereabouts.

Our children were SO excited to be attending a birthday party and seeing some friends again.

They were so excited to wrap the birthday presents and make the twins birthday cards.  They were so excited that everyone wanted to carry a present to the car.  Well, we had two presents and four children -- so I told the kiddos that two kids could carry the gifts to the car and the other two could carry the gifts in to the party.

Since these were Tracey's friends, she got to choose if she wanted to carry the gifts to the car or in the party.  She chose to carry a gift to the car, which surprised me.

I told her that I was surprised she wasn't going to want to carry a present in the party... (I wanted her to think ahead and really be sure about her decision.)

She looked right at me and said,

"I want to carry a present to the car.  When we get to the party, I don't want to carry a present - I just want to hug them."

Even now, as I type that, it makes me tear up.

My kiddos have been such troopers through quarantine.  They have handeled everything in stride, and I often delude myself into thinking that they didn't really notice the quarantine because they play together all day every day and they are not lonely or without peers.  But to hear her say something so heartfelt and sweet and articulate makes me realize how much this quarantine did impact her and how much she missed her friends.