No Idea

I haven't written in a few days, which I don't particularly like to do -- I like to post SOMETHING every day, even if its silly or simple.  Also, I have to be careful about the blog going quiet for a few days because I'm to the point where people could possibly think that my silence is because our twins have arrived... and that isn't the case (yet).

We've just had a busy, enjoyable, Christmas-filled few days and at the end of the day (which is when I write the next day's blog post), I have been exhausted and writing a blog has slipped my mind.  No major news, no major reason for the days off... just enjoying these days before Christmas, and before the twins arrive with my wonderful family (Hubby, Tracey Ann, and my parents).

There is a post I have wanted to write for a few weeks now, but I have hesitated because I don't want to in any way imply that I am unhappy being pregnancy with our twins.  I feel incredibly blessed that we are expecting two babies, and it is a tremendous answer to prayer that they babies are still in utero.

I am not ready to be done with the pregnancy.  I am not asking the doctor to induce as soon as possible.  I am not angry at my husband for "doing this to me," as sitcoms and comedies make a habit of implying.  I am doing very well and I remain incredibly grateful for the blessing of carrying and expecting these twins.

All of that being said, I do want to write this post, not only to inform you, but to help myself remember in the future, that unless you yourself have carried twins, you have NO IDEA what this feels like.

I have now said this to both Hubby and my mother now a few times... and I don't say it in an accusing way, but I find it very amusing that seriously, both of them have No Idea what I am experiencing right now.

Now, I know women experience pregnancy differently, and some women who carry one child have major complications, aches, and pains, and a very rough experience... so I do not know if that is comparable to this, but I certainly can say there are things I am experiencing with this pregnancy, and have been experiencing for months that I NEVER experienced carrying one child -- even in the very last weeks of pregnancy.

• It is very strange to begin to change Tracey Ann's diaper after a two or three hour period of time to find the her diaper is dry.  I, meanwhile, I have used the restroom upwards of 5 times during that same time frame.  I officially have a bladder smaller than a not-yet-two-year-old.
• Picking things up off the floor is a real hardship.  I don't want to think of myself as a lazy person, but sometimes I have to consciously stop myself from cursing when I drop something on the floor because it is so difficult and uncomfortable to retrieve.
• My stomach is so large that the process of putting on socks, or shoes, or nylons has become a time-consuming exercise in being a contortionist, but also has me wondering on a daily basis if that is going to be the action that causes my water to break.
• I have to use the restroom all. the. time.  I emphasize all the time, because I don't think you understand what's going on here.  Whenever I change positions, no matter how little time has passed, I have to use the restroom.  I will use the restroom at home, get in the car and drive 1 mile to work, and as soon as I get out of the car and walk into the school, the first thing I will have to do is use the restroom again.
• The babies appreciate an empty bladder -- they often move around more following my using the restroom... I think they appreciate any extra space they can get.
• It is very difficult to lean over into a car and reach something -- like when you get out of a car, but then reach back in to grab your purse or bottle of water... yeah, my stomach gets squashed and my back gives out when I do that.
• You can seem my entire stomach rolling, jiggling, and poking in and out when the twins are moving.  It is the coolest thing and truly one of my favorite parts of carrying twins.
• While nice soft reclining chairs look comfortable, for me, right now, the more support a chair has, the more comfortable I am.  I will take a boring, hard, sturdy card-table chair over a recliner any day!  Of course, this is the time, when very well-meaning, considerate people are selflessly offering me the very soft, comfortable seats, and I have to graciously refuse in favor of a hard-backed chair.
• Simply moving is very difficult.  I have always tried to keep in good physical shape and enjoy a variety of exercise routines, and so that fact that simply moving has become incredibly difficult is a very hard fact for me to accept.  There are times when my feet are elevated, but I want to put them on the ground to get up or reposition myself... and it will take me several attempts and careful planning in order to do so
• I get short-of breath doing just about anything.  Thankfully, my breathing, thus far, always returns to normal when I stop and allow myself to catch my breath, but -- I get short of breath carrying on a conversation, walking, interacting with Tracey Ann, trying to get out of bed, and more.
• Most of my maternity clothes do not really fit right now.
• In the morning, when I think about my day, I used to try to have a plan for what I could accomplish with Tracey Ann, and then how I would productively use her naptime to accomplish other projects without her.  Then, after her nap, we might go outside and play together until dinner.  Now, I might have one project I can accomplish in the course of two or three days, with the help of my parents and/or Hubby, and when Tracey Ann is napping, I have to be napping and/or off my feet during that time otherwise, I will not be in a good state to finish the evening with the family.
• While a shower or bath are still relaxing for me, they also now take twice to three times as long as they ever did, and I'm exhausted at the end.

 

 Again, I do not mean to, IN ANY WAY imply that I am not incredibly grateful for this pregnancy and how well it is going, and how much I am able to still do while carrying the twins, and more... but the truth is, most people have no idea what this feels like... and I know I will blissfully forget many of these things once our two little blessings arrive.  So, for your general education along with my own prosperity sake, please understand the spirit behind this post as informative and not complaining.

A Good Life Is (Generally) Not Good TV

Lately I've found myself thinking about the shows that I let entertain me, and how the character qualities I see in the characters are not necessarily character qualities I want to develop in myself.

Then, the more I examined this issue, the more I realized, that, in general, qualities that make up a good and Godly life are not found in "good" tv.

Apparently "good" tv -- as in, the type of television that is renewed season after season, contains story lines of anger, resentment, lies, holding grudges, loud arguments, hurtful words... very dramatic interactions.  While apparently our world (and myself included, unfortunately) finds this entertaining, these are not behaviors the Bible recommends, and not behaviors that lead to a joyful and full life.

It first hit me a few weeks ago when I was watching re-runs of Gilmore Girls.  Luke throws April a birthday party and April's mother is livid because the details were not cleared with her first.  April's mother shows up at Luke's diner... takes him away from his work in order to bark a few sentences at him, only to then say she is too angry to look at him, and storm off.  How old are these characters?  They are behaving like twelve year olds -- and probably twelve year olds who have been watching too much tv.

Having been married now for over three years, and learned a few things in that time about positive ways for my husband and me to communicate, I couldn't believe how un-realistic and un-productive this scene was.  There was no phone call to set up a time to talk, there was no time and thought put into exactly what the mother wanted to say and how she wanted to ensure a different situation in the future... and they she storms off without any productive interaction with the father of her child.

I had never watched his scene through these critical eyes before... but all of a sudden I realized how this dramatic scene, might make for entertaining television, but it certainly does not make for a full and happy life.

Now, ironically, right after I wrote this post, I read a facebook link that was celebrating the fact that the movie CLUELESS is turning 20 years old (yeah, crazy).  The website was accounting different aspects of the movie and why America loved it so much.  The last point mentioned alluded to the big, climatic arguement between Tai and Cher... and how it was so mature and relate-able to audiences.
Tai: "You're a virgin who can't drive."
Cher: "That was way harsh, Tai."
Tai: "Look, I'm sorry, all right.  Let's just talk when we've mellowed.  I'm outie."

Sure words got a little heated, but the climatic argument doesn't end with screaming, yelling, and storming off... it actually portrays what might be a normal argument in a normal, healthy, loving American home.  Sure, one comment was made below the belt... and it was acknowledged... and then they walked away and gave each other space only to come back a few days later, both apologizing and ready to make amends.

Now that is good tv... and a great lesson from which many people (and other television characters) could learn.

How's Your Heart?

I am in intense person.  I feel intensely, I cheer intensely, I grieve intensely, I love intensely, and I live intensely.  I'm still not entirely sure how my husband and I work so well because he is a very easy-going, "shake it off" kind of man.

All of my close friends are not close.  That is to say, they live hundreds, and even thousands of miles away from me.  Our means of keeping in touch for years is through sporadic phone calls, facebook updates, texts, and emails.

This means when we actually see each other, which can be once every few years, or once every ten years, we have to make the most of the time together. 

I have found that the best use of our time is to ask one question,
"How's your heart?"

That simple question, "How's your heart?" covers everything.

When I ask "How's your heart?" it includes:

•  How is the health of your heart?
• What is on your mind these days?
• What are you feeling blessed by?
• What are you struggling with?
• How is God challenging you right now?
• What are you hoping and praying for right now?
• What is your greatest joy right now?

When a friend asks me "How is your heart?" I know I am safe in the conversation.  I know this friend is a place where all guard can be dropped and I can honestly confide whatever is going on.  For me, there is no sweeter, of love-filled question than this.

So, How is YOUR heart?

Deep Thought

A deep thought for this Monday:

The Michigan Difference

Dear Coach Brady Hoke,

I just need to get a few things off my chest.  I don't want to demand your resignation or turn to twitter (or ESPN, for that matter) to hear all that is going wrong with Michigan... but there are a few things that I need to share.

I love Michigan football, and I stand by Michigan football.  As my Dad always said, I am going to share my thoughts because I care -- if I didn't care, I wouldn't care enough to share my thoughts.

I am a diehard Michigan fan.  I believe in the Michigan difference; in Michigan excellence; in the Victors Valiant; in the Leaders and Best.  I have always stood by Michigan, and I will continue to cheer for Michigan... but it is becoming harder and harder to be so.    I am not a fair-weather fan, but I have not seen the Michigan difference the past few years... and I definitely have not seen Michigan excellence.

I understand when a team has a rebuilding year -- and rebuilding YEAR -- not years, not decades.  In know you had to untangle the mess of that Rich Rodriguez left and establish your own offense and strategy... but, in the last three seasons we have had no outstanding running backs, safeties, or wide receivers.  Or, if we did, we didn't have the offensive or defensive lines to allow them to shine (or score).  The only player who has done anything in your first three seasons was Denard Robinson... and you can't build a team around one player -- the other teams will get his number (which happened), and he will get injured (which happened).

My dog is named Lloyd Carr because Lloyd Carr was the coach during the years I fell in love with Michigan football.  I am too young to remember the Bo Schembechler years... but I appreciate the legacy.  The LEGACY -- Michigan has a LEGACY in football, and it is dieing.  How is it we don't even have a reliable kicker this season?  We TAUGHT Notre Dame how to play football, and they have now decided we are not worth time on their schedule as they try to make their run at the National Championship each year... and they have shut us out -- for the first time in Michigan history -- in the last game we will ever play.  To say the student has become the master seems to be an understatement all of which is beyond unacceptable.  We looked like a high school team on the field against Notre Dame.

I remember when Michigan was known as Quarterback U -- because Michigan was where the pro teams went to get their next quarterback.  I remember the years of quarterbacks Brian Griese, Tom Brady, Drew Henson, John Navarre, and Chad Henne -- all under the coaching of Lloyd Carr.  I did not always agree with Coach Carr's play calling... but he won games, he raised Michigan men, he lead teams that were Big Ten Championship, and National Championship Contenders.  The only quarterbacks you have coached have shown that they may be better wide-receivers than quarterbacks... and yet you have continued to play them as quarterbacks.

I am not yelling for your resignation (I am not yelling at all)... but the team that's playing in Michigan uniforms right now is unacceptable, and it is not their fault.

Rich Rodriguez might have had the talent to lead a Michigan team, but he was not a Michigan man.  He lacked the strength of character and love for the Maize and Blue to coach our young men.  For him, it was three and out.

You might be a Michigan man.  You seem to love the Maize and Blue and value your job of coaching the character of your players.  But, I am not sure that you have the talent, as a coach, to combine the coaching of character with the coaching of football.

The Michigan Difference applies to many things -- not the least of which is that men who play football for Michigan are taught to develop strength of character along with strength of football skill.  To Michigan, these are equally important.

I trust I am not saying anything you don't already know.  You know the team you are coaching is not playing at the level expected of a Michigan team.  I am not flaming mad at you... you just need to know that right now, your best, is not good enough.

I really want to like you, Coach Hoke... but I need to start seeing the Michigan Difference.

Sincerely and Respectfully,
A True Blue Fan

Where We Stand -- Perfect

This is a "where we stand"/"for what its worth" post...

I think our baby girl is absolutely perfect.  Yes, Hubby and I will be working on molding her character and shaping her behaviors for the rest of our lives, but Tracey Ann is absolutely perfect.

I look at this beautiful baby, and her little cheeks are so kissable, her little features are so perfect for her body... everything is so tiny, and everything grows together.

Her ears, her nose, her little lips, her toes, her fingernails, her wispy little hair... she is perfectly and beautiful made by the Lord, and there is nothing I would ever change about her.

That is why, we will not be piercing her ears or painting her nails as a baby.  I don't want to do anything to her little body.  It is absolutely perfect the way it is.

I have no doubt that she, in time, will express a desire to paint her finger- and toenails, and get her ears pierced, and we will address to those options at the time... but that will be when SHE inquires about each.

I am all about dressing up my baby girl -- I love putting her in frilly dresses, silky bloomers, and flowerly headbands... I have no problem imposing my ideas of little girl fashion on my baby girl while she is this small, before she can object.  But those are clothes and outfits.

As her Mama, I do not need to doll up her body with womanly fashion statements of adulthood -- or at the very least, preschool.

Nail polish will come, when she requests it.  For crying out loud, I have a hard enough time trimming her little nails, I have no desire to try to paint them -- plus, her tiny little nails are perfect.  No need for paint.

Ear piercing will come, when she requests it, or the age of ten... whichever is last.  I had my ears pierced at the age of ten, and it felt like a right of passage... and there were plenty of years of stick-on, and clip-on earrings in the years before then.  Her tiny little ears are perfect, and I will not be doing anything to them.

The great thing is that I'm Tracey Ann's Mama, and I get to make this call about how and when nail polish and earrings come onto her body.  Other Moms get to make their own decision about their baby girls.

Where We Stand - Vaccinations

This is one of those posts that is a "for what it's worth" post.  You don't have to agree with us, but I just want to share where we stand on vaccinations.

Chris and I actually stand in pretty different camps when it comes to over-the-counter and prescription medicine.  My philosophy comes from my parents (my dad a pediatrician who's been a doctor over 50 years), and I believe that all medicine has side effects and all medicine should be a last resort.  Our family is dabbling in essential oils for healing, rest and fluids are always good for healing, and a little bit of discomfort or pain never killed anyone.  I believe there is a time and place for decongestants and anti-biotics, but they are to be used in moderation.

Hubby's philosophy comes more from his parents and sister (a general practitioner who has been a doctor for about 5 years) and that is, if there is a medicine that can help, go ahead and take it.

I'm sure Hubby and I have some major discussions down the road when it comes to treating our children's fevers, stomach bugs, and more.

All of that being said, we are in complete agreement when it comes to vaccinations.  We are adamantly in favor of vaccinating our children.

I still believe there are always side-effects to any medication, and I have to admit, I occasionally thinking to myself that I survived the chicken pox just fine, why do my kiddos need a vaccine against it... but the truth is, we trust the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations, and we want our children vaccinated against diseases.

Tracey Ann had her four-month vaccinations just last week, and we had a rough afternoon when we got home.  Her little leg really hurt as her body was developing anti-bodies against these diseases.  We experienced a full hour of screaming followed by 24 hours of baby Tylenol (yes, there is a time and a place for over-the-counter medicine), and all of this was hard to watch as a parent... but never would we even consider not vaccinating our children.

A little sore leg for an afternoon is NOTHING compared to the ravages of diseases, which the vaccines prevent.  One of the vaccines Tracey Ann received at this appointment was against Polio.  Tracey Ann's Papa, my dad, was responsible for organizing the Polio vaccine drive, which vaccinated his entire county in the 1960s, when the vaccine was discovered and mass-produced.  I have always known that, but Tracey Ann getting this vaccine led me to ask my dad some details about Polio.  I have always known about some effects of Polio, but never the medical details.

Polio is a horrible disease.  It is a disease that attacks a person's central nervous system can causes gradual paralysis.  There was no treatment for Polio, as it was a virus that a patients body could either fight off, or couldn't.  My dad said that there was always an increase of Polio cases in August, which led doctors at the time to wonder if it lived in lakes or pools.  As far as my dad knows, they never did determine how the virus is transferred -- it was not contagious between people, but it was a deadly virus.

As the Polio virus caused paralysis over different parts of a patient's body, eventually the paralysis would take over the patient's diaphragm making it impossible for the patient to breathe.  This is when the patient would be put in a metal tube called a Negative Pressure Ventilator, or Iron Lung, which would force air into the patient's lungs allowing them to continue breathing when their diaphragm was paralyzed.

As soon as I asked my dad about Polio, he immediately shared with me the horrors of this disease that he had to watch attack child after child while he was in medical school and residency.  As teachers, Hubby and I have students who we will remember forever.  As a pediatrician, my daddy has patients he will remember forever, and as soon as he began telling me about Polio, he brought up a thirteen-year-old girl, who had to go into the Iron Lung, and who died from Polio.  Watching child after child suffer from and die from Polio is what motivated my dad to work so hard to get his entire county vaccinated when the vaccine was mass-produced.

I know many parents who refuse vaccines focus more on the measles/mumps/chicken pox variety... but the fact of the matter is, I will try any natural remedy before I run to the pharmacy... but disease prevention through vaccines is a horse of a different color.  I want my daughter to have a strong natural immunity... but I don't need her to be at risk for numerous life-threatening diseases when preventative measures are available.  The world has enough dangers from which I cannot protect her, so the horrors from which I can protect her, I intend to do so.

My baby girl had a really rough afternoon because of her four-month vaccines... but her sore leg was NOTHING compared to a paralyzed diaphragm due to Polio... and believe me, I told myself that many times while she was crying.

We are a household full of natural remedies.
We are also a household that strongly believes in vaccinations.