avett's birth story- part two

(part one here)

Dr. Dott came in and sat down on the end on the bed and broke my water.  Maybe this is weird but I loved the way it felt.  The water was the most wonderful warm temperature and it felt comforting.  There was a sense of release of pressure and with every contraction more water flowed out.  Dr. Dott said he would monitor my contractions for the next 15-20 minutes to see if things would start moving along.  The contractions started coming immediately.  Cindy asked me if I had received the Northside gift yet.  At that point I thought it was some sort of baby goody bag...diapers, samples of formula and what not.  Nope.  It was an enema.  I did not want that gift, but lucky for me what ensued in the following 5 minutes made Cindy think Avett was about to walk out of me so...no gift.

Cindy suggested that I go empty my bladder so I did.  But first she hooked me up to the telemetry monitors so I could move around and labor however I needed.  As soon as I sat down on the toilet the contractions started coming very strong. So much so that I had to ooh and ahh pretty loudly to get through them.  For a moment the sensations of the contractions were so intense I thought, "Oh my gosh, my baby might be born on a toilet."  I couldn't let that be Avetts story so  I knew I wanted to get back to the bed as soon as possible.  As soon as I could muster the strength I walked back to the bed and got in to the position that I would stay in for most of the rest of my labor.  Sitting up in the bed with pillows behind my back and my legs in the butterfly position felt the best, this position was my sanctuary.  I came prepapred to labor on the ball, walking, on all fours, pretty much whatever it took but nothing felt as good as sitting right there in that bed and concentrating through each contraction.  At one point I even tried to do the 'labor dance' with my arms around John's neck.  I just about ripped his shirt.  I was most calm when I could sit and close my eyes and think about relaxing breaths.

I prepared for the birth by using essential oils and listening to hypno birthing tracks.  I had a friend send me Doterra's Whisper oil and it helped me through the first few hours of labor.  For the last two months of my pregnancy I would dab the oil behind my ears and right under my nose and I would listen to the tracks during Evaleighs nap time.  It was so helpful to relate that smell with the deep relaxation I was able to feel during that time.  So, during my labor I started with the oil under my nose and on my chest and it helped me breathe deeply down in to the contractions.  It helped me to get in to a zone and I was able to concentrate on the smell as I inhaled and that was what my mind focused on more than the pain from the contractions.  In the beginning of labor I would close my eyes and just be silent during the contractions, Cindy could read just what I needed and always respected the silence that I needed during those times.  Towards the end there were a couple of contractions that I could hear her praying me through them. She would always remind me to keep relaxing and to breathe slowly. 

Most of the time when a contraction would come I would either want to hold John and Cindy's hands and squeeze them.  A few hours in to labor I started tickling johns hand or massaging it through the contractions.  Those contractions weren't nearly as painful as when I would tense and squeeze the life out of johns hand.  As long as I focused on staying relaxed things were bearable.

Time was such a funny thing during labor.  Every once in a while I would open my eyes and glance at the clock but the minutes and hours felt the same.  John would come to my side, Cindy would feed me some ice chips, Dr. Dott would come in and check on me.  John was right by my side at the first sound of any little noise I made.  He was so patient with my requests.  For a few contractions he would look at the monitor and tell me as the contraction climbed and then descended.  At one point I said (probably very rudely) ,"Don't tell me when they are starting, I only want to know when they start coming down!"  There were times I would want to hold his hand and then as soon as we touched I couldn't stand it and I would tell him not to touch me.  Another time as I was in transition I grabbed a blanket from behind my head and threw it across the room.  He just looked in to my eyes and told me I could continue on and that I was doing a great job.  The truth is I didn't know what I wanted.  My body took over and it was like a train going down a hill with no breaks.  Everything was forging ahead powerfully and all I could do was take the ride.

Dr. Dott was such an empowering influence during the labor.  He would walk in and tell me, "I am so impressed by you, you are doing such great job." Or "You are going to make it, you can do this."  I felt so supported knowing that he believed in my ability to have a completely natural birth.  He would massage my clavicle and tell me to breath and his presence was so calming and encouraging.  At one point I was overcome with the emotion of the labor and I told him I loved him.  He just looked at me and said, "You are just another one of my daughters."

As my labor progressed I turned on my hypno birthing tracks I had practiced with and the difference between the contractions I had with the track on was so different than when I didn't have it playing.  I loved being reminded to enjoy the time in between contractions and use that time to rest.  I craved that moment.  I was so grateful to have those as I neared transition. 

I remembered being checked at one point and being at 8cm, I don't know what time it was.  Then all of the sudden the contractions started to get more intense than I had ever felt them.  I know I must have looked desperate. I stared in to John's eyes and told him I couldn't do it anymore and on the surface I really thought I couldn't.  But as I said that out loud in my mind and soul I knew I could.  Somewhere inside of me was a place I had never been before but I knew that I had more strength there.  

Dr. Dott came in and checked me and looked up and said, "Let's just try a few practice pushes."  I looked to John and wondered if this was it because only what felt like minutes before Dr. Dott said that I probably had another hour or two.  He had me hold my legs up and taught me to breath in blow out, breathe in blow out, breathe in...hold...and push.  As I did this he was telling John about a nerve that runs down my leg that he should rub.  He said it was connected to the uterus and would help make me feel better.  He also told me that the painful parts were over and that most of what I would feel now was a lot of pressure. The first time I pushed he looked at me and said with a smile, "You just moved your baby's head two inches down the birth canal!" I felt so empowered and pushing felt great! After a couple more pushes he got a phone call and took it outside.  I looked at John and Cindy and said, "I have to push right now!"  Cindy left and went to the hall to get Dr. Dott.  I looked to John and again told him I have to push right now! So I did a little. And a little bit more.  Cindy comes in to the room and Dr. Dott follows quickly behind and sure enough Avett is coming.  Then Cindy asks me, "Do you want the mirror?"  I politely decline and she gives me a stern look and says, "You WANT the mirror."  I had never planned on using it and quite frankly was a little scared of it but we were in it now.  It didn't get more real than that moment. So she rolled it over and there was everything.  I had a quick moment of, "whoa that's a whole lotta me staring back." But then it passed quickly because with the next push there was Avetts head!  It was the most encouraging thing to finally see him, I could see my little boy and I wanted to meet him and hold him so bad.  At that point nurses and the nursery team started rushing in and preparing everything for his arrival.  The energy in the room changed.  Dr. Dott turned around and said loudly but calmly,  "Stop talking, this is a place of peace and calmness."  He was protecting my birthing atmosphere and brought the peace back to the room.  He sat right on the bed with me and in the dim lights of that room and with my next couple of pushes at 3:23pm I brought Avett in to the world.  He cried and John cut the cord.  Dr. Dott look at John and said, "Present your son to the world." So John picked him up off of the bed laid him on my chest.  He was the most wonderful warm temperature and I couldn't stop saying how beautiful he was! A few tears brimmed my eyes and they took him over to clean him off.  I looked at Dr. Dott and kept saying, "I can't believe I just did that! That was amazing! The most incredible thing I've ever done!"  

He finished stitching me up because after all I did push a 10 pound 3 ounce baby out of my body (thank goodness for a little lidocaine shot!).  No major damage done.  I would do it a thousand more times.  Birthing Avett was one of the most sacred and incredible events of my life.  The births of my children are special to me in different ways and are the best days of my life along side the day I married John.   I'm so grateful that I listened to my heart that kept telling me to try for a VBAC.  I am so grateful that my body did what it was made to do and what I always knew it was capable of doing.  I love being a woman and having the opportunity to experience the miracle of birth.  We love our son so much.

avetts birth story- part one

Thursday October 17th I had my 41 week and 5 day doctors appointment.  We were going biweekly for non stress tests and biophysical exams to make sure that Avett and I were both still doing well.  The doctor determined that everything was perfect.  My placenta wasn't ageing, I still had plenty of amniotic fluid, and Avetts heartrate was fluctuating and responding perfectly to stimulus.  Dr. Dott checked me and said I was dilated 5cm and was 100% effaced and that my water bag was paper thin.  He said,  "I have no idea why you haven't gone in to labor, this baby is hanging on by a thread."  He then said "We have two options you can give up now and have a csection or we can trust your body and keep waiting."  I immediately said sternly that I was not going to give up.  I knew he wasn't pressuring me for the csection though. Dr. Dott is such a gem of a doctor.  To deliver NUVBAC at Northside is like the unicorn of births and I knew Dr. Dott was determined to help me do it and was such an advocate for VBAC's.  I had waited this long what was a few more days.  I mean clearly he couldn't stay in there forever.  So even though I was 12 days over my EDD and I was so anxious to meet my boy we went back to the waiting game.  

John was concerned to leave me alone that day considering that I was a walking ticking time bomb.  So my mother came over and we spent the day shopping and walking around with Evie.  That night John and I put Evie down for bed and after an episode of The Cosby's and some bouncing on the ball we went to sleep around 10.  I woke up to the sound of Evie crying at 1am. I went in to her room and calmed her down and stayed in the chair in the nursey until she fell asleep.  As soon as I sat down I started having contractions.  They weren't strong but I knew they were very different from the Braxton Hicks I had been feeling each day.  Since I had my phone with me I started timing them and they were coming about every 6 minutes.  I sat there for about 40 minutes feeling them come and go and then decided to take a shower.  When I got out they had slowed down but considering that just earlier that day the doctor said I was at a 5 and I would probably be one of those women who go in to labor and then give birth under a bridge on the way to the hospital, I decided it was go time.  I stood at the edge of the bed and called out John's name.  He woke immediately and I said, "I think it's time."  He popped up and started asking me all sorts of questions and running around wanting to make sure everything was ready.  About that time Evie cried again and he went in to sit with her.  We texted back and forth until she fell asleep again.  During that time I called my mom and let her know we decided to go in to the hospital and that we needed her to come be with Evie.  John showered and packed the car and we waited for mom.  She got there about 40 minutes later and we stood in the cold parking lot and said a prayer in the dark and quiet 3am night.

John and I headed out to the hospital and the roads were so clear and it was so peaceful.  My contractions were still irregular.  He dropped me off at the labor and delivery entrance and on my way in I had my first contraction where I had to stop walking and hold on to the railing.  We got checked in and they took us to our room.  By this time it was 3:30am and my contractions were ranging from 12 minutes to 6 minutes apart. They decided to admit us and let me labor through the night and Dr. Dott would come see me in the morning.  I was able to sleep some, only being awakend by nurses coming in for vitals and contractions.  

Around 7 the nursing shifts changed and one of the most incredible things happened, we met Cindy.  How do I even begin to describe Cindy, I couldn't have done it without her positive spirit and encouragement and ability to read exactly what my body needed.  She is a 74 year old black midwife from St. Martin in the Carribean islands.  She studied midwifery in Liverpool, England and then went on to practice in Ireland, Canada, New York, and has been here in Atlanta for 24 years.  She walked in to our room and said in her beautiful Carribean/English accent, "This room needs an aroma."  She took out a bottle of lavender oil and put it on some gauze and laid it on my pillow.  I told her I had brought some of my own oils for the birth as well and she said, "Well get them and let me rub them on your feet."  I looked at John wide eyed and we both knew that she was made for us.  That morning before we left for the hospital we prayed for the nurse who would be working with us. I knew that trying for a Natural Unmedicated Vaginal Birth After a C-section would require a supportive staff.  We asked that we would have someone who would be understanding and encouraging of our desire for a VBAC.  I told Cindy immediately that she was made for us and how grateful I was that it was her who was with us.  She held my hand with her old hands, they were so cold and felt so good on my hott skin, she said, "I want you to know that this morning when I woke up I prayed for the body that I would be helping and it was you."  I was in awe that this was who was there to help with Avetts delivery.  In that moment I felt that I understood a part of why Avett had to come when he did.  Everytime she would leave the room John and I would smile so big and look at each other in such disbelief that we were so lucky to receive such a nurse like her.  She was full of stories of past deliveries and I loved hearing every single one. Her voice was so soothing.  She ended up refusing to take on another patient that day and she was in the room with us the whole time.  She was like my own doula. She would hold my hand through the contractions and talk to me about my breathing. She had such a calming effect on me and I knew she was sent straight from God.

By 8:00 Dr. Dott came in and he said we could let me labor through the day and see what happens or he could break my water.  Well I had nearly been pregnant for 10 months, 41 weeks and 5 days let me remind you, and it was time.  I could feel that Avett was ready and the spirit confirmed it to my heart as I said out loud that I wanted him to break my water.  I looked to John for confirmation that he felt good about it too and we both knew it was the right thing.  So at 8:30am it all began!