"When I was alive, I seldom appeared in public 

dressed like this.  But I'm now deceased, you 

know, and so I have dressed accordingly."

Hitch's Last Stand

Hitchens Pot Calls Kissinger Kettle Black

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #57

Marcus Epstein and Christopher Hitchens

In his spare time, Christopher Hitchens volunteered as a

living canvas in the 'Body Painting by Numbers' program

for recovering artists.

While showering, Christopher Hitchens likes to sing

'Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran' in between smokes.

Things to Avoid #18
People Who Smoke While Standing Naked

Christopher Hitchens:
England's Most Famous Expatriate and
Nicotine-Powered Swilling Machine

"What are you thinking about, Mr. Bones?"

The only Hitchens worse than a Christopher is a Peter.

"Gakk, cough, cough, cough! Being waterboarded has to

be almost as bad as getting your ass kicked by Syrian

thugs while you're soused in downtown Beiruit!"

Sully Refuses to Give Hitch Tongue; Hitch Assaults

Sully with Salmonella-Tainted Peanut Butter Sandwich

After September 11, 2001, the

American public demanded

a more ruthless Christopher

Hitchens. And they got one.

"Yes, yes, I confess: I'm a douchenozzle! Jesus Christ, I'll even

believe in God and endorse Barack Obama for President. Just

don't baptize me again!"

"I've been waterboarded twice, but, on balance,

I would have to say doing without cigarettes

for 24 hours would be worse torture."

Remember when you thought Christopher Hitchens could

hold a cigarette better than any drunk you knew? Those

were the days, weren't they?

Spot the Alkie

"Your audience, which will clap at apparently anything,

is frivolous. [oohs and groans from audience, Hitchens

gives them the finger] Fuck you, fuck you. [groans continue]"

This is a transcript of what happened the night Bill Maher's

audience gave Christopher Hitchens the clap.

On Slate, Christopher Hitchens, an uncommon drunk,

has accused Mel Gibson of being a common drunk.

But since almost no one reads Slate anymore,

dipsomaniac quarrels go begging for attention these days.

Ken Livingstone, the mayor of London, was glad

to see that native son Christopher Hitchens had

returned home. But the mayor could see that all

the yellowcake from Niger Hitchens had been ingesting

was having an unusual effect.