I'm a Survivor.

Have you ever been uneasy/frightened in your own home. I am experiencing that right now. My neighbor across the road was broke into yesterday. There are only 4 houses on my little street - 2 on each side. My house is at the end with woods on the back and side of my house. The neighbor called me last night to tell me this. Wouldn't ya know that Little Buddy would be barking as though something was there both last night and this morning.

You see this is the first 'house' I have lived in alone since I was attacked on Dec 8, 2003. And the dog I had at that time also carried on barking. It was then that I also lived at the end of a road.

I have never been one to live my life in fear. After the attack I was very uncomfortable going out or anywhere for that matter. I felt like someone was watching me. Well I had gotten over those feelings and was feeling very comfortable and and unafraid until this happened yesterday. It brings home just how vulnerable I/we are.

On that day Dec 8, 2003 everything was normal till I walked my dog that evening. It was dark when I arrived home and took 'Trip' outside for his duties. Someone had eased to the stop sign and paused enough to make me uncomfortable. I turned and went straight into my house and never gave it another thought. That night Trip was barking and carrying on and I did hear some noises but it was windy that night. At 1:30am I heard a terrible noise at my bedroom window and turned to look at this black silouette in my window - I screamed and he put a hand over my mouth with a knife to my throat. He raped and robbed me that night. This nearly destroyed me but I am not a victim - I'm a survivor. I Am A Survivor. What I later learned is that this person killed his next victim. I was able to ID this 22 year old kid and after nearly 3 years of waiting on trial to take place he pleaded guilty at the last minute. He is serving life for his crime against me and also life without parole for the murder.

Can you see how uneasy I am feeling now. I don't really believe that someone is going to attack me again but I wasn't fearful then either. I do however intend to purchase me a small handgun. That would make me feel a little bit better.

Sorry guys to post something like this the day before Thanksgiving - but this is happening at Thanksgiving. I am going to keep a positive attitude and will not let this spoil my holiday. I refuse to live in fear.