An Act of Faith

Who remembers the Ronco advertisements from the nineteen seventies and beyond? Miracle gadgets at giveway prices that invariably didn’t work anything like as claimed and were quickly relegated to the shed or the loft, icons of an age of innocence and naivety. You can almost imagine future archaeologists trying to decode these symbols from a time of false hope, just as they have done with the totems of ancient religious beliefs.

If Ronco were to return today the denizens of the internet would be taken for rides every bit as precarious as those of yesteryear. Social media would be awash with tales of disaster visited on the gullible, swiftly followed by merciless mockery. “Who would fall for that?” would go the cry, only to fall silent when the mocker was, in turn, taken in by another, different-yet-still-the-same scam. YouTube would have a ball.

Even when you knew that the chances were your Ronco all-in-one jar-opener, dishwasher and personal groomer was bound to fail you still parted with your hard-earned in an act of faith that this time it would be different. And much like the holy church of Ronco, religions require the wilful abandonment of rational thought; logic and learned experience go out of the window as, with beatific smiles, we open the packaging to reveal the next disappointment, yet keep the fixed smile beaming as we vigorously defend our choice against all the evidence.

Perhaps a moment of quiet reflection before hitting the ‘buy’ button would be prudent, a short examination of reality. Why do I want this, and will it really do what it says it will do? Much better in the long run to stick with what you know, but the promise of something better, more miraculous, more satisfying urges you to suspend your critical thinking skills and buy yet another potato peeler that just doesn’t peel potatoes.

So, what makes more sense; a belief that government should have as little impact on your everyday life as possible, should leave you to make your own decisions while protecting you from the worst excesses of egregious humanity, or a government which will intervene in every nook and cranny of your existence in return for fanciful promises of riches in the afterlife? Because to believe in capitalism requires only to accept that the world does not owe you a living, while to believe in socialism requires an enormous act of blind faith.

Just as with all religions, with all cults, with all outlandish fictions, in order to accept socialism as a viable system you have to suspend disbelief and reject the evidence to embrace a narrative so convoluted, so contradictory, so hypocritical that it would require the abandonment of all reason to adopt. Were the current Labour Party a Netflix box set most viewers would have ditched it after season one.  Those who continued to watch, who bought the tee shirts, who dressed up to attend conventions would be labelled as dangerous extremists and placed on various lists.

What seems most likely?

Once again, William of Ockham comes to the rescue. Ask yourself what seems most likely; that government is powerless to oversee every aspect of your life and it is up to you to make the best of it. Or that there is an all-seeing, omnipotent, Magic Granddad in the sky who can make the heavens rain money and bring freedom and happiness and prosperity to all… if only you will bend your knee at his altar. Marx said that religion was the opiate of the people. Between you and me, I reckon he was on drugs.

It's Debatable

I didn’t watch the leaders’ ‘debate’ last night because I’ve already seen far more than I want to see of spin-doctored, spruced-up talking heads spouting garbage written by party apparatchiks and tutored by image consultants in how to avoid the pitfalls of the hit-and-miss pseudoscience of body language. A dismal platoon of ‘experts’ will be on parade during the day to earn their fees by regurgitating sixth form psychology about gestures, smiles, turns to camera and handshakes. None of it is at all relevant to the everyday politics that actually affects us.

I want to hear far more from candidates such as Lee Anderson, a former Labour councillor now standing for the Conservatives in Ashfield. I want to hear how Momentum so repulsed this former miner that he switched from tribal Labour to the hated Tories. I also want to hear more about his outspoken views on dealing with nuisance tenants. And I want to know how his views go down, not among the cognoscenti in Parliament, but among the beleaguered people who have to live alongside those tenants.

Because these issues, real issues that intrude on people’s actual lives, are repeatedly ducked by governments. Or, if solutions are proposed, they are attacked by the soft-bellied opposition parties banging on about human-bloody-rights. Already, Mr Anderson’s remarks have been condemned as ‘targeting the vulnerable’, entrenching division and showing a lack of empathy towards those he seeks to represent. Really? Has anybody asked them? I would suggest that were the voices of those he wants to represent ever heard they would be raised in a cheer for common sense.

There are some very real, very pressing issues driving a wedge through what I hesitate to call our society. We have violent crime, rampant disorder, a disrespect for the law and an arrogance in some that borders on insurrection. We have become uncivil, suspicious, cynical and angry at the toothless measures deployed. Ordinary working people, the vast majority of the population, don’t want to ‘reach out’ or understand, or show empathy for those who refuse to fit in. We want correction and punishment, swift and effective justice.

Instead we are lectured by amateur sociologists and social philosophers about what a wonderful, vibrant country we live in and if only we could all just embrace diversity and rejoice in difference, we would somehow evolve into the egalitarian society the chattering classes imagine we all want. Well, we all don’t. Unlike the indoctrinated drones of the parliamentary echo chamber we don’t hear reassuring voices about how throwing money at ‘studies’ will somehow reveal solutions. We simply experience the misery those 'solutions' inevitably create,

He lies? Don't they all?

The people already know the remedies, but the politician don’t have the guts for them. The people know that equality is a crock, but it is a holy grail to western leaders, hungry for the adoration of their own kind. The people want leadership, not a cosy consensus for yet more pandering to difference. The people know that diversity is often a weakness, not a strength as touted by those with the most to gain from the non-jobs it produces. The people want some honest, down-and-dirty, get-it-done politics. Not pretend fucking debates which just make us hate politicians even more.

Get us out

The Tories are metaphorically holding a telescope up to their blind eye and declaring “I see no rocks!” while steering a course directly for the lighthouse. But then they are also pretending that the Conservative & Unionist Party still has a cohesive identity. It is clear that the EU issue which has riven the party for decades should now precipitate a serious discussion about their purpose and their future. It is too late for the local elections, far too late for the unnecessarily upcoming MEP elections and given the parlous state of their leadership contender list probably too late for the next general election... and the one after that.

In the meantime, frantically bashing the Brexit Party isn’t helping either Conservatives or Labour, rather it is aiding and abetting the BP and the Tories are probably receiving the worst caning of their electoral lives. It’s like they just haven’t ‘listened’, or ‘learned lessons’ as they so often insist they must. Have they not seen the ginger ninja over the pond and how his popularity grows with ever publicised excoriation?

Vituperative comments about Nigel Farage - Mr Brexy M^cBrexit-Face himself - are just recruiting slogans for him, especially enticing for the literally millions of people disenfranchised by the open contempt in which they are held by Parliament for daring to vote with their own agency and not as directed by their lord and masters. The blue rosette brigade may claim they are not afraid of Farage but, as much as David Cameron may forever seek to deny it, isn’t this the very reason the referendum was held in the first place?

And what of the non-Farage alternatives? See how both left and right (that is, far left and centre left; Labour and Conservatives) have united to condemn all pro-Brexit parties as fascistic and see how much of a dent that has made. There comes a point while you are being consistently insulted that you realise it is just a bunch of words. And when those words have no basis in reason, no factual validation, David Lamey, Anna Sobriety and Caroline Mucus can call you a Nazi until they are blue in the face and it makes no impact. If ‘they’ are against them, those parties must have a point.

As for a new politics, however, we are firmly back in the usual territory with every side expending all their resources in attacking the others and none actually plotting a course to steer us away from danger. And we are thoroughly fed up of having to vote for the least worse and knowing that our first-past-the-post system and the electoral boundaries condemn us to hamstrung, minority, same-old-parties governance.

So, as much as I know this to be mere wishful thinking, I harbour a hope that Farage and Co can do as much damage as possible to both Labour and the Conservatives and gain enough seats to hold the balance of power. I want to see the Tories recognise that their split over the EU is a genuine and deep one and that they need to burn their current constitution and form two new parties from the ashes. I want Labour to divide into a middle-class luvvies party which every other voter will despise and a genuine workers’ party, which may regain some dignity.

Corbyn comes to May's Rescue

And as for our future relationship with the EU, I want none. Nothing political at least, except recognition that we are not the same and possibly never will be. Listening to various EU leaders and their stooges it is clear they don’t give a fuck about us, so why don’t we reciprocate? I am pretty sure I am with millions of others who will abandon their traditional political allegiances and lend their vote to whatever option at the ballot box will re-send the clear message we signalled in 2016. Get. Us. Out.