What? Why? What?

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
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Would You Like Fear with That?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
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Leader List

Here's a post I found while looking through old notes. This was way before the pandemic so let's see if this is still relevant. 

• Stop hiding behind email
• Don’t avoid difficult conversations and have them with respect and compassion
• Keep meetings to 30 minutes and on topic
• Allow all voices to be heard
• Be clear on expectations
• Don’t play favorites
• Be of service to your team/department/company; not the other way around
• Allow creativity to flourish
• Don’t evade conflict
• Remember every person on the team is just as important as any person
• Hold yourself and others accountable
• Show up when things get difficult
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Count to Four

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
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Finding Our Thing

It’s often said we should find something we’re passionate about and do it. We'll cool let's do that! Now why are we unhappy again? Oh yeah, because we often have absolutely no idea what are truly passionate about and worse how to even achieve it.  

In his latest book, “Love + Work”, author, speaker, and consultant Marcus Buckingham examines how our lives and our careers are forever intertwined. He writes finding something we love doesn't mean it's going to be nirvana all the time but rather we will find love within it and the challenges will be easier to overcome. Have you ever lost track of time doing something? Yeah that. 

Buckingham also reminds us no one will ever be exactly the same as each of us. No one who has ever existed or will ever exist will be exactly like you. Celebrate that. 

Perfection is impossible.  

We live in woke times. Some have deemed themselves the grand jury of all opinion. Here's the deal, I won't judge you, you don't judge me, and we'll be good. You do stuff you will love most of the time and I'll do that same. I may love auto racing but I won't insult you if you have a passion for flower arranging. It's not my call! 

No one has any right to tell you what you think or feel, nor does anyone have the right to tell you what or who you love. Life is not a zero-sum game to be won. As its own name defines, it is living breathing inaccurate flawed experience. Yet for some reason we measure ourselves against perfection. 

This is your life. Tell her how you feel. Look for another line of work. Stop letting others decide for you. Love who you want, do what you want, don't let others tell you what's best for you. I'm not proclaiming I don't have that doubtful voice in my head most of the time which I wish would shut up, but let's see if we can shift our thinking together.

To me, that sounds like a good plan.

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Help is on the Way

In my experience, if we are currently faced with something we think we can’t accomplish, we can get clear on what we want, what drives us, and what makes us happy. Then we ask those around us for help, or we freeze in fear and nothing gets done.

The word selfish was always a tough one for me. It conjured up images of self-centered people who would take for themselves at the expense of others. These were loud arrogant people who would think nothing of walking over someone for their own gain. But the word selfish also means being self-aware and self-seeking.

Let's Dig Deeper

To seek more of one’s self is to get to the core and underlying meaning of our existence. And while we get clearer on who we are and what we want, the challenge is not in saying yes but rather in saying no to things that weaken our purpose. 

I've discovered it can be helpful to find a quiet place to focus on what is important. Finding that quite place in this busy lizard brain is my challenge. Allowing gratitude for those who help takes practice. There are people in our lives right now who want to help. 

 We just need to pay attention and accept their help.
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Sir Ken Robinson

Sir Ken Robinson devoted his professional life to education. He fought tirelessly for a global overhaul of how we teach each other how to think but fail to encourage each other to dance, sing, paint, write, and worst of all, imagine.

Sadly, Ken passed away in August 2020, and we lost a good one! He had a razor sharp sense of humour, gets us to imagine Shakespeare as a 7-year old boy, and shared his unwavering passion for helping people realize their talents. I have included his three TEDTalks - which have been three of the most watched in history.

These are all well worth your time.

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Changing Gears

There is much debate on whether the coronavirus pandemic is over. With over 450,000 new cases last week, I'd say it's not much of a debate. It's not over and may not be over for decades to come. 

Over six million have lost their lives since March 2020 and the reason it's not tens of millions like the pandemic of a century ago is because of scientific breakthroughs like vaccines. Despite the suggestion of some, the boogie man did not create this and magic rainbow dust did not find a way to save lives.

Shift and Pivot 

What I'm fascinated by is how many of my friends and close colleagues have taken the last two years to make a shift in their lives. Some have dumped that gig they hated and started something new; some are taking online courses to train in areas they've always wanted to explore; and others are still ruminating but have begun the process that will clearly bring them to somewhere much different than the former "normal". 

After a lot of discussions, I made a shift late last year, and as much as many would think it's a lot to take the leap, it doesn't mean you have to or are tossing all your experience away. Sometimes a small adjustment can give us an entirely new perspective. 

In my case, after over sixteen years in consulting, I returned to a role in a media organization. I do have a few decades of experience in many areas and this role gives me the opportunity to utilize all of them. But it took someone I've known for over twenty years to give me that nudge to take that leap.

Pump the brakes

In my case, I now have a boss and I work on a team and they rely on me as much as I rely on them. I worked for myself for a decade and a half and my boss was my clients. My other boss was the person writing this post who had to fight through self-doubt, ignored emails, dead end prospect meetings, and lots of Thursdays without a paycheck. 

We have had a lot of time to think about this over the past two years. If I can offer some advice; pay attention to the signs whether those are conversations with friends, articles you stumble upon online, or that big dream you promised yourself you'd reach for years ago. If we don't learn anything through this pandemic, then what was the point. 

Not one day of our lives is guaranteed and no one is coming to rescue us, so the question remains what we're going to do about it. You know you can do it. You know you want to see what else is out there for you. The question that remains is the key. 

Are you ready?

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Motivation

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


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Motivation

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


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The Big What

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
__________________________________________________________________

Risky Business

Manage risk, financial risk, reputation risk, market share risk, relationship risk, shareholder risk, the risks of risks, the risk of focusing on risks, the discussion of risks, the endless what if's that stall our journey risk.

Perhaps we perceive it will be difficult or worse, not successful. We often fear our own abilities and guts to take that ride. One of the worst emotions I think we can possess is regret. The idea we didn't act on can often be the one that stops the flow. The safety of inaction becomes our comfort zone.

Risk often focuses on what will, would, or could go wrong. It's a preemptive strike, a proactive measure, to protect the outcome. The biggest risk is when we use it to endorse inaction. I know of what I write only too well. Maybe you can relate.

The biggest risk is the bet we fail to make on ourselves.
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Fear Diet

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
__________________________________________________________________

What Motives You?

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


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Comparables

Not many of us human types get up in the morning to focus on failing. We do our best, we learn each day, we try a little harder, we get a little smarter, and we focus a bit more on being successful. Whatever that means to each of us. One of our worst measurements of success is comparing ourselves to others.

She has a better gig, he has a nicer car, they have a better life. Most of us have fallen into the trap but the key is to stay focused on what success means to each of us. But we get stuck, meet resistance, and sometimes get in our own way.

Richard St. John has been teaching his principles since he learned the hard way. The concept may be simple but it requires determination and a lifetime of focus to execute.


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Emotional Waistline

This is a wonderful parable I should read more often.

The story is about a man and his grandson. He reminds the young boy that we have a battle of two wolves inside of us; one that is filled with anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other wolf is filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, compassion and faith. The grandson then asks a simple yet critical question; "Which one wins?"

The wise man replies; "The one you feed.”
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Four Questions

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
__________________________________________________________________

Take 5

It's a simple group exercise. Each person has five minutes to make note of as many of their interests and/or abilities as they can. Then share it with the team. The lists usually begin with work items but eventually get to personal interests and passions.

The purpose of this five minute exercise is to hit re-set and help everyone remember that outside world they've been told to leave at the door.

The results may surprise you.
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Find and Seek

In my experience, if you are currently faced with something you think you can’t accomplish, you can if you are willing to get clear on what you want, what drives you, and what makes you happy. And this is a critical ingredient; open your heart to those around you who want to help.

The word selfish was always a tough one for me. It conjured up images of self-centered people who would take for themselves at the expense of others. These were loud arrogant people who would think nothing of walking over someone for their own gain. But the word selfish also means being self-aware and self-seeking.

Looking Deeper

To seek more of one’s self is to get to the core and underlying meaning of your existence. And while we get clearer on who we are and what we want, the challenge is not in saying yes but rather in saying no to things that weaken our purpose. We need to understand there are people on our side and when help arrives, we need to be grateful because we help others without hesitation.

I've discovered it can be helpful to find a quiet place to focus on what is important. Allowing gratitude for those who help can require practice. Understanding we can go after what we want if we disallow distractions and self-doubt to derail us is a key element of the journey.  There are people in our lives right now who want to help.

It’s up to us to let them and be grateful they did.
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We are What we Feed

I often go back to this story when I'm struggling with something. I'm facing a decision or a feeling and need some guidance; this powerful lesson helps immensely.

The story is about a man and his grandson. He reminds the young boy that we have a battle of two wolves inside of us - one that is filled with anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other wolf is filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, compassion and faith. The grandson then asks a simple yet critical question; "Which one wins?"

The older wiser man replies; "The one you feed.”
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