Fear Factory

The topic of what makes a great leader has been debated since humans could say the word. When you think of the values a mentor has brought to you, it's often those intangible aspects which are more difficult to define.

In business, it's tough to be thrown into a new role when you may be good at the work but not as well versed at the people part. It’s easy to point to those who have handled leadership with grace but it's not a skill you learn in short order. And it can certainly be a balancing act when the company continually reminds you profit is the goal.

Fear can be why strong leadership is often as rare as great customer service.

I could be wrong. 

Would You Like Fear with That?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
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We So Scared

Many opine we aren't born with fear but as we go through our lives, it seems we take less chances and become more cautious. It could be because we've experienced things that haven't gone well. It could be because we think we have more wisdom so not to make foolish choices. That voice in our head says; "let's not do that again!"

Experts have been studying this for years and in an article entitled "Decision Neuroscience: Why We Become More Cautious with Age", there is sound evidence which suggests at least part of the reason is physical. As we age, the levels of dopamine in our bodies declines. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and a hormone. It plays a role in many important body functions, including movement, memory and pleasurable reward and motivation. We might be smart but our physiological makeup does have a say in the matter without our interference. 

Age and Ageing 

So that might point to why we rolled the dice at 20 and hesitated at 50. We were born with the ability to reason but we are also made up of chemical elements that don't ask for our input and can become our biggest foe.  

I've had to make a couple of pretty significant decisions in the last few years. One of them I belabored over for weeks. I had a similar situation happen almost two decades ago and I jumped at it. I did make the move again this time but I was aware of how I gave downside more weight than opportunity. 

Hormone levels and age may make us pause a bit longer or fear a bit more but here might be an exercise worth trying. Find something small you are thinking about right now. It could literally be something so insignificant, it might not even matter next week. Take five minutes and try and think of you a decade or two ago and make the decision through that lens. You might surprise yourself.

But I'm still not bungie jumping! 

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Making Other Plans

One of my all-time favorite artists is John Lennon. His musical legacy is legendary; his views on politics and peace are well-documented. And he was aptly quoted once saying; "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." And it's so true. 

We are on the second lap of the calendar on this global pandemic. The end might be in sight but we actually have absolutely no idea when that will arrive. I have had my first of two vaccine shots and my second isn't until August. You may still be waiting for your first. Multiply that by seven billion humans and this thing is going to take a while. Please keep wearing your mask!

What is normal?

During the last year or so, I've noticed several trends. There are friends and colleagues who are out of work waiting for the company to call them back. Others are getting adjusted to a life of working from home and having to stay home around the clock. And others are making plans for what happens in their lives. I walked away from a situation that wasn't serving me, and near the end, some may have thought I wasn't serving it. And that is life. 

But the point for me was that I had to make other plans for my life. Whatever bucket you find yourself in right this minute, it isn't easy. My folks always encouraged me to try things as I grew up. If I had told them I wanted to be a clown in the circus, they would have told me to be the best clown that ever existed. But it's not up to others to break down those barriers to our plans. It's up to us. Others can help, but we have to write the book or build the wall or paint the canvas ourselves. 

We are not born with fear

Fear is something we learn over a lifetime of shortfalls and mistakes. We think it protects and guides us but all it does is stop us. I have an Olympic gold medal in fear. It's easier to blame circumstances or age or finances or a myriad other reasons as to why we don't follow our gut to reach our dream. 

If you have a seed of an idea, share it with someone you trust and ask for feedback. If the idea is taking shape, reach out and ask for help. If you have never truly asked for help - I can promise you two things. It will be scary at first and you will get better at it. 

 Life happens whether we make plans or not. 

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TikTok Now

One of my colleagues sent me a post from TikTok by Mel Robbins. In it, she outlines her key tenets to life. I told my friend that I had seen Mel's TEDTalk and posted it here a couple of times. In fact, the first time I posted this video was a decade ago. 

 Her message has never been more relevant that it is right now.

 
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Ready?

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her 80's, we're able to have great discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

Now what?

I saw this wonderful quote and it sums up life rather nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
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Fear Diet

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
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The Bully and Radiohead

I was having breakfast with a great friend and colleague this week and we started talking about how each of us often gets in the way of our own success. Why do we do that? Is it self-sabotage? Is it a fear of failure or success? We humans aren't born with fear; we teach ourselves fear. It's easy to blame outside sources but we have a choice on how we process influences and what to do next.

In a previous chapter of my career, I worked in the radio industry and during the last few years of that, I oversaw the launch of two radio stations from concept to creation and then went on to consult a handful of radio station clients in my consulting work. But I told my friend I'm often visited by a force that seems to hold me back. As I continue my work at an executive recruiter, it's not the candidates or clients who are in my way, it's me!

Voices Inside Your Head

So she put me through an exercise. She said we will call that force - The Bully; and the man who launched radio stations and built teams with confidence, we'll call him Radiohead. She warned me the bully is my comfort zone; my ability to fail without trying because it wasn't meant to be. She said it was a bunch of hot air meaning nothing. She then said whenever the bully shows up, thank him for his time and wish him well and focus back on Radiohead.

You can put your own labels on your life but you have them. There are two strong forces pulling you in opposite directions. One likes it safe so it reminds you to not take bold moves while the other has shown up when you weren't even paying attention because you were so focused on the task at hand.

Say goodbye to the bully and welcome radiohead.
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Let's Make Some Trouble

Mignon McLaughlin was an American journalist and author. In the 1950s she began publishing aphorisms - a pithy observation that contains a general truth.

My favorite was; "Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers."

We do look at those who blazed a path before us with admiration but how often do we grasp the uphill climb each had to endure? It's not easy to share a new idea until it’s adopted by others. But without the bravery to share it, the idea goes nowhere.

Lead first

Leonardo da Vinci, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Benjamin Franklin, Marie Curie, Elon Musk, Susan B. Anthony, Les Paul, Sally Ride, Louis Pasteur, Kathryn Bigelow, Thomas Edison, Margaret Thatcher, Johannes Gutenberg, Florence Nightingale, Alfred Nobel, Steve Jobs, the list goes on and on. These people didn't play it safe but they certainly didn't succeed without struggles.

Doing what is safe and what others may agree with is adhering to a matrix each of us hold as a manufactured line that’s not to be crossed. We've all done it.

Are You Ready?

You're sitting on an idea right now that you keep trying to find the guts to share. It's not easy, we all know. But it's necessary to fight those fears and doubts or you might end up being - to paraphrase McLaughlin's quote - a dead conformist.

Let's take one small step toward sharing our ideas, pushing ourselves past our fears, and seeing what happens. Regret is a horrible emotion we have all experienced.

It's even worse than failure.
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Vulnerability

Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has been studying a topic most of us have trouble discussing which is vulnerability. It appears in many forms; imposer syndrome, feeling inadequate, feeling like a fake, or not knowing the answer.

We all have moments when we feel emotionally weakened. Dr. Brown explains how it affects our whole life while being authentic can help those same areas.


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Training vs Development

If you ask a coach, team leader, or company executive if talent attraction and retention is important to them, it’s fairly safe to say you will get a resounding yes every time. Training is important for some things but is not enough for people development.

It’s not deep enough. It’s a quick fix that simply doesn’t exist and can’t be sustained. Leadership is a daily event that needs to be your top priority. What worked last week may not work today. And what was successful a year ago may never work again. That’s why we don’t offer training, we work with clients on their ongoing leadership growth.

Roselinde Torres has studied leadership around the world and shares her thoughts on what makes a great leader. Her findings may surprise you.


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Reasons vs Excuses

We all have those moments, those things, those conversations, those fill in the blank, that we say we want to tackle but we often find plenty of brilliant excuses. It's not the right time; it's best we wait; I'll get to it soon.

Mel Robbins demystifies the excuses and drops the f-bomb.


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We Will Never Be Ready

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her late 70's, we're able to have wicked discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

What are we gonna do about it?

I saw this wonderful quote recently from actor Hugh Laurie and it's been rattling around in my grey matter ever since and it sums it up nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
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Humility and Humans

It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.

We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?

Something to Ponder

Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.

Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.

Make time for you to get to know you.
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Ready, Set, Go...

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to tackle a new task or refine an idea or meet a deadline but been unsure where to begin? That’s obviously rhetorical because we all have but the trick is how we successfully get out of that first key step to move forward.

It’s often been said leadership is about results but those results have to begin with an idea that must be advanced and refined before we can deliver it. But how much think time do we allow in our day to even get any of done? Our biggest hurdle is often us and in our inability to get started.

Here are some ideas to get us moving forward.

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.
Henry Ward Beecher

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
Buddha

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Walter Elliott

Now is the operative word. Everything you put in your way is just a method of putting off the hour when you could actually be doing your dream.
Barbara Sher

The beginning is the most important part of the work.
Plato

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today
and make a new ending.
Maria Robinson

The idea that wins is the one with the most fearless heretic behind it.
Seth Godin

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Chinese Proverb

The starting point of all achievement is desire.
Napoleon Hill

I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
Thomas Edison

Even though the future seems far away, it is actually beginning right now.
Mattie Stepanek

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
Anne Frank

Let's start!
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HBR – Leadership Mistakes

Being a leader has absolutely nothing to do what what it says on your business card or company org chart. A few years ago, the Harvard Business Review asked a simple question. Here are some valuable responses.


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Fearless Action

Much has been written and said about taking chances, failure, and ultimate success. If you were to ask any person who has attained any modicum of advancement, they would probably tell you about the many times it took to make it. The setbacks, roadblocks, and challenges were plentiful.

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others."
Jonathan Swift

You know that feeling you have right now in the pit of your stomach? That’s the voice you may not be listening to but you should, I should, we all should. Then act on it. Our fear stops us from moving. Our worry that it won’t work out makes us freeze.

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become."
Steve Jobs

Now think of a time you listened to your intuition and you started to move. Suddenly the doubts dissipated and things began to work out. Once you made the decision, it was clear what you needed to do. There were hiccups and twists, but you kept going.

"Vision with action can change the world."
Nelson Mandela

We need to remember that one step today toward our goals will take us one step away from our fears. The longer we wait, the more difficult it will be to move and the more our doubts will grow. Few among us are immune.

Your gut knows what to do.
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Wanna Create Some Trouble?

Mignon McLaughlin was an American journalist and author. In the 1950s she began publishing aphorisms - a pithy observation that contains a general truth. My favorite was; "Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers."

We do look at those who blazed a path before us with admiration but how often do we grasp the uphill climb each had to endure? It's not easy to share a new idea until it’s adopted by others. But without the bravery to share it, the idea goes nowhere.

Lead first

Leonardo da Vinci, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Benjamin Franklin, Marie Curie, Elon Musk, Susan B. Anthony, Les Paul, Sally Ride, Louis Pasteur, Kathryn Bigelow, Thomas Edison, Margaret Thatcher, Johannes Gutenberg, Florence Nightingale, Alfred Nobel, Steve Jobs, the list goes on and on. These people didn't play it safe but they certainly didn't succeed without struggles.

Doing what is safe and what others may agree with is adhering to a matrix each of us hold as a manufactured line that’s not to be crossed. We've all done it.

Are You Ready?

You're sitting on an idea right now that you keep trying to find the guts to share. It's not easy, we all know. But it's necessary to fight those fears and doubts or you might end up being - to paraphrase McLaughlin's quote - a dead conformist.

Let's take one small step this week toward sharing our ideas, pushing ourselves past our fears, and seeing what happens. Regret is a horrible emotion we have all experienced.

It's even worse than failure.
__________________________________________________________________

Feeling Vulnerable

Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has been studying a topic most of us have trouble discussing which is vulnerability. It appears in many forms; imposer syndrome, feeling inadequate, feeling like a fake, or not knowing the answer.

We all have moments when we feel emotionally weakened. Dr. Brown explains how it affects our whole life while being authentic can help those same areas.


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The Dreaded F-Word

You're not fine. You will never feel like doing it. Get off your ass and get going.
Wise words from Mel Robbins. Watch this.


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