I was having breakfast with a great friend and colleague this week and we started talking about how each of us often gets in the way of our own success. Why do we do that? Is it self-sabotage? Is it a fear of failure or success? We humans aren't born with fear; we teach ourselves fear. It's easy to blame outside sources but we have a choice on how we process influences and what to do next.
In a previous chapter of my career, I worked in the radio industry and during the last few years of that, I oversaw the launch of two radio stations from concept to creation and then went on to consult a handful of radio station clients in my consulting work. But I told my friend I'm often visited by a force that seems to hold me back. As I continue my work at an executive recruiter, it's not the candidates or clients who are in my way, it's me!
Voices Inside Your Head
So she put me through an exercise. She said we will call that force - The Bully; and the man who launched radio stations and built teams with confidence, we'll call him Radiohead. She warned me the bully is my comfort zone; my ability to fail without trying because it wasn't meant to be. She said it was a bunch of hot air meaning nothing. She then said whenever the bully shows up, thank him for his time and wish him well and focus back on Radiohead.
You can put your own labels on your life but you have them. There are two strong forces pulling you in opposite directions. One likes it safe so it reminds you to not take bold moves while the other has shown up when you weren't even paying attention because you were so focused on the task at hand.
Say goodbye to the bully and welcome radiohead.
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Showing posts with label self-doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-doubt. Show all posts
December 29, 2018
August 18, 2018
Self Worth
Self-doubt can be one of the most destructive and debilitating emotions we possess. It can be difficult to believe in yourself even when those around you believe in you. Something deep inside has convinced you that you aren’t worth it, can’t do it, won’t make it. It’s an emotion most of us feel at one point in our lives.
Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.
Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.
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Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.
Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.
__________________________________________________________________
May 3, 2018
Humility and Humans
It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.
We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?
Something to Ponder
Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.
Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.
Make time for you to get to know you.
__________________________________________________________________
We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?
Something to Ponder
Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.
Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.
Make time for you to get to know you.
__________________________________________________________________
December 6, 2016
How Dare You Talk to You Like That!
We all experience them. Those moments when we beat ourselves up. The presentation wasn't perfect, you didn't get the promotion, the relationship didn't work out, the list goes on. Here's something to try; the next time you are talking crap about yourself to yourself, remove your name and add a friend's name and see how comfortable that feels.
There is no way in a hundred lifetimes you would speak to others in the same negative way you speak to yourself. I'm an Olympic gold medalist in beating myself up and let me assure you, it solves nothing.
Try this...
Every time you feel the urge to put yourself down, stop, then force yourself to think of something you are grateful for in your life. It may sound Pollyanna, too bad. You won't do it well the first few times, keep trying.
Or you could try the strategy of talking to others the way you talk to yourself. That's if your plan is to lose friends and people you care about.
Your call.
__________________________________________________________________
There is no way in a hundred lifetimes you would speak to others in the same negative way you speak to yourself. I'm an Olympic gold medalist in beating myself up and let me assure you, it solves nothing.
Try this...
Every time you feel the urge to put yourself down, stop, then force yourself to think of something you are grateful for in your life. It may sound Pollyanna, too bad. You won't do it well the first few times, keep trying.
Or you could try the strategy of talking to others the way you talk to yourself. That's if your plan is to lose friends and people you care about.
Your call.
__________________________________________________________________
January 29, 2016
Just Say No
Just say no to accepting the past will repeat.
Just say no when you hear that negative self-talk.
Just say no to naysayers. Just say no to those who reject you.
Just say no to giving up. Just say no when you think you can't.
Just say no to letting go of your dream.
Just say no to letting setbacks stop you. Just say no to distractions.
Just say no to sharing your ideas with negative people.
Just say no to fear. Just say no to doubt. Just say no to stopping.
Just say no to being hard on yourself.
Just say no to disbelieving your ideas matter.
Just say no to avoiding asking others for help.
Just say no to average. Just say no to excuses.
Just say no to thinking it won't get better.
Just say no to people who hold you back.
Just so not to procrastinating.
Just say no to accepting you can't do it.
Just say no to emotional vampires.
Just say no to thinking mistakes define you.
Just say no to comparing yourself to others.
Just say no to not shipping your art.
Just say no to letting yourself stop following your dream
Let's just say yes we can and will.
__________________________________________________________________
Just say no when you hear that negative self-talk.
Just say no to naysayers. Just say no to those who reject you.
Just say no to giving up. Just say no when you think you can't.
Just say no to letting go of your dream.
Just say no to letting setbacks stop you. Just say no to distractions.
Just say no to sharing your ideas with negative people.
Just say no to fear. Just say no to doubt. Just say no to stopping.
Just say no to being hard on yourself.
Just say no to disbelieving your ideas matter.
Just say no to avoiding asking others for help.
Just say no to average. Just say no to excuses.
Just say no to thinking it won't get better.
Just say no to people who hold you back.
Just so not to procrastinating.
Just say no to accepting you can't do it.
Just say no to emotional vampires.
Just say no to thinking mistakes define you.
Just say no to comparing yourself to others.
Just say no to not shipping your art.
Just say no to letting yourself stop following your dream
Let's just say yes we can and will.
__________________________________________________________________
January 25, 2016
Authenticity with You
It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.
We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?
Something to Ponder
Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.
Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.
Make time for you to get to know you.
__________________________________________________________________
We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?
Something to Ponder
Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.
Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.
Make time for you to get to know you.
__________________________________________________________________
April 22, 2015
It’s Only True if You Believe It
Self-doubt can be one of the most destructive and debilitating emotions we possess. It can be difficult to believe in yourself even when those around you believe in you. Something deep inside has convinced you that you aren’t worth it, can’t do it, won’t make it. It’s an emotion most of us feel at one point in our lives.
Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.
Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.
And find out what happened next.
__________________________________________________________________
Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit
Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.
Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.
And find out what happened next.
__________________________________________________________________
Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit
October 15, 2009
I Don’t Care
I don’t care that you may think all this social media stuff is voodoo magic. The faster you decipher it is for real, the better shape your business and career will be in.I don’t care if I don’t agree with everything you say.
I’m glad we’re engaged in a meaningful conversation.
I don't care about your opinion on my choice in music.
That's why it's my choice.
I don’t care what you did last year, ten years ago or last week.
Bring forward the good stuff and incinerate the rest.
I don't care who doesn't like me.
There are 6.7 billion of us, we can all find someone.
I don't care who knows I love pumpkin pie.
But I will share if you want a slice.
I don't care if you have self-doubt, no money,
lost your gig or think you are stuck.
Let's get over ourselves and get unstuck together.
I don’t care that I am entering the busiest time of my career.
I know what hard work looks like.
I’m looking forward to helping as many people as I can.
I don’t care about your family situation, marriage, demons or shortcomings.
I do care about your passions, ideas and how they are burning a hole through your cranium on the way to sharing them with others so we can help you make them a reality.
What don’t you care about?
@knealemann
Helping you create your best business
marketing and social media strategy.
image credit: api.ning.com
January 8, 2009
Passion and Self-Doubt
Last night, I was re-reading Chris Brogan’s free e-book on personal branding. I refer to it often and if you are feeling a bit lost or looking for next steps, I recommend you do the same. Download Chris’ book here.
In fifteen pages, Chris outlines some steps you can take to improve you, your career, and your brand. The sections that stood out for me were about self-doubt and passion.
I think many of us would have our PhD in both topics and this all stems from one important element – human behavior.
The Network is Social
We have created a network of connections that can blow our minds. I hope you're the same, but I have made contact with people I would never have met if it wasn’t for the social network, blogs and podcasts.
Chris talks about making something of our social media connections. It’s not enough to just collect them like trinkets as they do the same with us. Make a human connection. I sent Brogan an email last night and he returned it!
Passion
You may have experienced this issue. You have great desire and burn in your gut to do something but then self-doubt creeps in and the party is over. We are excellent at sabotaging our own dreams aren’t we?
Self-Doubt
Here’s a challenge. You have five minutes to find someone who will tell you “that won’t work”. Don’t hurt yourself, they’re everywhere. And too often, they are inside us already.
The World is a Stage
Chris says that you must have a great attitude every time you enter the social media world – and I agree! No one likes a grump. But have we created a platform where fears and dreams and passion and self-doubt are allowed to mingle?
We are a network, we are connected. We are not 6.7 billion humans cohabitating. We make mistakes, we lose stuff, we have silly ideas, we have doubts, and we have passion. Let’s celebrate that rather than pretending we have it all figured out.
Thanks Chris for always sharing!
Now, what are your thoughts?
km
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Harold Whitman
In fifteen pages, Chris outlines some steps you can take to improve you, your career, and your brand. The sections that stood out for me were about self-doubt and passion.
I think many of us would have our PhD in both topics and this all stems from one important element – human behavior.
The Network is Social
We have created a network of connections that can blow our minds. I hope you're the same, but I have made contact with people I would never have met if it wasn’t for the social network, blogs and podcasts.
Chris talks about making something of our social media connections. It’s not enough to just collect them like trinkets as they do the same with us. Make a human connection. I sent Brogan an email last night and he returned it!
Passion
You may have experienced this issue. You have great desire and burn in your gut to do something but then self-doubt creeps in and the party is over. We are excellent at sabotaging our own dreams aren’t we?
Self-Doubt
Here’s a challenge. You have five minutes to find someone who will tell you “that won’t work”. Don’t hurt yourself, they’re everywhere. And too often, they are inside us already.
The World is a Stage
Chris says that you must have a great attitude every time you enter the social media world – and I agree! No one likes a grump. But have we created a platform where fears and dreams and passion and self-doubt are allowed to mingle?
We are a network, we are connected. We are not 6.7 billion humans cohabitating. We make mistakes, we lose stuff, we have silly ideas, we have doubts, and we have passion. Let’s celebrate that rather than pretending we have it all figured out.
Thanks Chris for always sharing!
Now, what are your thoughts?
km
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Harold Whitman
