Me Myself and Them?

In grade school, we were new at the relationship thing, so we usually gravited to kids who shared our interests and were just like ourselves. As we grew older, we hung out with kids who liked what we like just like ourselves.

As we entered the workplace, we grabbed a drink with the people who seemed to be cool just like ourselves. As we built our careers, had grown up relationships, and even raised a family, we would spend our fleeting spare time talking and hanging out with old friends just like ourselves.

What do you think?

When we ask for opinions, it's easy to ask for input from people just like ourselves. The challenge is to break through those norms we have built since grade school and ask new opinions, fresh perspectives, and maybe even contradictive points of view.

I don't remember who said it, but the adage goes like this: when you're building your business, tell your friends and family all about it; get that out of your system; then get the real work of building your business. I'm not sure we should gloss over the first part. 

We spend our formative years with people just like ourselves and then we are told to be open to people who are not like ourselves. That might be wise counsel as long as we don't devalue our own opinions and thoughts.

Our opinion counts too.

__________________________________________________________________

Happy Holidays

Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Frohe Weihnachten, Buon Natale, Feliz Natal, Crăciun Fericit, God Jul, Glædelig Jul, Hyvää Joulua, Gleðileg Jólm, Wesołych Świąt, Vrolijk Kerstfeest, Sretan Božić, Veselé Vánoce, Felicem Natalem Christi, Nollaig Shona 

Happy Christmas🎅

c

_________________________________________________________________

Just Like Me

In grade school, we were new at the relationship thing, so we usually gravited to kids who shared our interests and were just like ourselves. As we grew older, we hung out with kids who liked what we like just like ourselves.

As we entered the workplace, we grabbed a drink with the people who seemed to be cool just like ourselves. As we built our careers, had grown up relationships, and even raised a family, we would spend our fleeting spare time talking and hanging out with old friends just like ourselves.

What do you think?

When we ask for opinions, it's easy to ask for input from people just like ourselves. The challenge is to break through those norms we have built since grade school and ask new opinions, fresh perspectives, and maybe even contradictive points of view.

I don't remember who said it, but the adage goes like this: when you're building your business, tell your friends and family all about it; get that out of your system; then get the real work of building your business. I'm not sure we should gloss over the first part. 

We spend our formative years with people just like ourselves and then we are told to be open to people who are not like ourselves. That might be wise counsel as long as we don't devalue our own opinions and thoughts.

Our opinion counts too.

__________________________________________________________________

Ready?

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her 80's, we're able to have great discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

Now what?

I saw this wonderful quote and it sums up life rather nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
__________________________________________________________________

Real Evidence Appearing False

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are. You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

If you believe in any of these, feel free to stop.
__________________________________________________________________

Believing Falsehoods

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.

You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

Do you believe any of these? If so, feel free to stop.
__________________________________________________________________

Trustworthy Respect

In a work environment, everyone is under a lot of stress. Words are spoken. Blame is heaved. Accusations lobbed. If we step away for even a few minutes, we can remember the relationship – work, life, wherever – is built on respect and trust and can withstand those types of interactions.

Respect and trust are earned but can’t be expected. Something to think about with your business. Great service is what we want yet we're blown away when we get it. But we can't expect if we're not prepared to give it.

The Gift of Being Honest

This is especially critical in personal relationships. If you want her to trust you, be trustworthy. If he is dishonest, especially without remorse, it's probably time you exclude him from your life. You deserve honest people in your life if you are prepared to be honest with them. If they don't hold up their end, get rid of them.

Does this mean trust and respect are only present when it's convenient? Can one argument tarnish a relationship like a bad experience with a plumber? I’d like to think we try our level best to remember why we have the people in our lives that we do and earn their trust and respect.

That's the bedrock of any relationship.
__________________________________________________________________

Grateful

It's often said when you're stuck or feel down, helping someone less fortunate can be the biggest gift for both of you. No matter your religion or cultural background, there are points in your life when you have felt beaten down and sad.

Those are the times to take out a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the things that are going well. You may not think it's a long list but if you let your mind go, be kind to you, and think deep, you will find it. And it might just change your life.

Here's my list for today.

I am grateful for my health and for my loving family.
I am grateful for wonderful friends who are family and for food in my belly.

I am grateful for the ability to help others and for collaboration.
I am grateful for a vast network of people to explore new and exciting ideas.

I am grateful for chocolate. and or all of my senses and physical abilities.

I am grateful for music and for the ability to live in a cool town.
I am grateful for a charmed life and for creativity.

I am grateful for the desire and chance to do something bigger than me.
I am grateful for a great home and for freedom.

I am grateful for my passion for cooking and for learning my lesson.

I am grateful for a remarkable group of colleagues around the world.
I am grateful for curiosity. I am grateful for sharing and for coffee.

I am grateful for being able to give back and for perspective.
I am grateful for possibilities and for the ability to share this with you.

I am grateful for the blessing of a clever mind and for compassion.

Now it's your turn.
__________________________________________________________________

We Will Never Be Ready

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her late 70's, we're able to have wicked discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

What are we gonna do about it?

I saw this wonderful quote recently from actor Hugh Laurie and it's been rattling around in my grey matter ever since and it sums it up nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
__________________________________________________________________

Three Things

Call three friends. Do three on your to-do list.
Help three ideas grow. Delete three ideas that slow you down.
Select three colleagues and offer a hand.
Identify three personal strengths you will exploit.
Eliminate three unnecessary possessions.
Flush out three thoughts that may a chance.
__________________________________________________________________

The Importance of Trust

In a work environment, everyone is under a lot of stress. Words are spoken. Blame is heaved. Accusations lobbed. If we step away for even a few minutes, we can remember the relationship – work, life, wherever – is built on respect and trust and can withstand those types of interactions.

Respect and trust are earned but can’t be expected. Something to think about with your business. Great service is what we want yet we're blown away when we get it. But we can't expect if we're not prepared to give it.

The Gift of Being Honest

This is especially critical in personal relationships. If you want her to trust you, be trustworthy. If he is dishonest, especially without remorse, it's probably time you exclude him from your life. You deserve honest people in your life if you are prepared to be honest with them. If they don't hold up their end, get rid of them.

Does this mean trust and respect are only present when it's convenient? Can one argument tarnish a relationship like a bad experience with a plumber? I’d like to think we try our level best to remember why we have the people in our lives that we do and earn their trust and respect.

Without it, there is no relationship.
__________________________________________________________________

Six False Beliefs

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.

You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

Don't listen to the false beliefs.
__________________________________________________________________

MMXVII – Now What?

It's a new year, a fresh canvas, a new list, a potential re-set button. I don't know about you, but I'm reflective this time of year. 365 days ago, I had a list of 10 things I wanted to tackle or accomplish in 2016 and I was able to put a check mark beside 7 of them.

Why do we do that to ourselves? We make lists, resolutions, promises to ourselves for a better year than last. 2017 is gonna be the best year ever, man! 2016 sucked; 2015 was awful, this year is gonna rock, dude!

Ambitions and Resolutions

Is it a tad dramatic to sum up our lives in a chunk of time according to a calendar? Every year comes with challenges, unforeseen opportunities, dips, and pleasant surprises. Yes, it's important to have goal that we not only verbalize or write down; it's much more critical to actually accomplish them, isn't it?

Perhaps it's an age thing with me, but I still make my lists, and if I don't get to an item, I question why. Did I have it on the list because I thought I wanted it? Was it because I should have wanted it? Am I giving up too easily? Was I too ambitious?

I can only guarantee one thing about 2017; most of what will happen we cannot predict. The key, perhaps, will be to not dip too long if we hit a snag and ensure we pause and enjoy the good moments.

Cheers to you for a great year!
__________________________________________________________________

2016 – Year in Review

Most of us get reflective this time of year as humans have probably gotten since the advent of our calendar. We compartmentalize our time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. We probably should look closer at moments than the traditional increments of time but the year is ending and we look back at 12 months' of our lives and take stock.

In entertainment, 2016 began with the passing of one of my favorite artists, David Bowie. We ended with the deaths of far too many musicians, actors, writers, producers, artists, leaders, and perhaps that's the same every year, but this year seemed to be more.

Count the Votes

Brexit marked Great Britain's separation from the European Union and the US elected a new President amid a mountain of controversy. Personally, I launched into a new line of work that was the culmination of my entire career and as I was leaving the team Holiday dinner last week, I felt the tug of pride to be a part of a great team again.

We lost people, gained experience, suffered losses, realized dreams, and all the while, hopefully ensured what was truly important received more of our time and attention. For me, it's people and always will be people. I am so fortunate to have wonderful people in my life that make all the struggles and downturns worth it. Someone is always a phone call or hug away. And I hope the same for you.

Namaste.
__________________________________________________________________

How Dare You Talk to You Like That!

We all experience them. Those moments when we beat ourselves up. The presentation wasn't perfect, you didn't get the promotion, the relationship didn't work out, the list goes on. Here's something to try; the next time you are talking crap about yourself to yourself, remove your name and add a friend's name and see how comfortable that feels.

There is no way in a hundred lifetimes you would speak to others in the same negative way you speak to yourself. I'm an Olympic gold medalist in beating myself up and let me assure you, it solves nothing.

Try this...

Every time you feel the urge to put yourself down, stop, then force yourself to think of something you are grateful for in your life. It may sound Pollyanna, too bad. You won't do it well the first few times, keep trying.

Or you could try the strategy of talking to others the way you talk to yourself. That's if your plan is to lose friends and people you care about.

Your call.
__________________________________________________________________

Autumn Cleaning

I was doing some weeding; you know those times when you open a cupboard or closet or drawer and decide right then and there it is finally time to clear it out? I found a coffee mug and wrote about it here in the past but I think its worth looking at again.

It's a black mug I received as a Christmas gift a few years ago with an interesting message on the side written by Mary Ann Radmacher. The mug reads:

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard.
Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh.
Choose with no regrets. Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends. Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

Sometimes weeding can give us great perspective.
__________________________________________________________________

You Will Never Be Ready

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her late 70's, we're able to have wicked discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

What are we gonna do about it?

I saw this wonderful quote recently from actor Hugh Laurie and it's been rattling around in my grey matter ever since and it sums it up nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
__________________________________________________________________

Three Things...

Three is a manageable and attainable number. There's a symmetry to it. There's flexibility and stability to a series of three items. Perhaps we can apply it to various aspects of our lives? Do three good deeds without anyone knowing about them.

Pick three business objectives. Write down three things just for you. Do three on your to-do list. Help three ideas grow. Delete three that slow you down. Remove three negative influences in your life.

Call three friends.

Eliminate three unnecessary possessions. Identify three personal strengths you will share. Remove three excuses. Select three colleagues you believe deserve a shot and offer a hand. Flush out three thoughts that may have a legitimate shot.

What are your three things?
__________________________________________________________________

Someday

I have literally lost count how many times I've heard a phrase that begins with the words; "Some day I'm going to..." Do we mean it or are we stalling? If you want to write some day, start writing today. If you want a new job, start looking today. If you want to leave that relationship, leave it today.

Easier said that done? That's one excuse. But if you look back at your life, how often when you've taken that action have you've said you should have done it earlier? Are we afraid to make the changes, moves, shifts, in our lives or are we more happy to complain about not making them?

Change is hard; doing nothing is harder

In the last two years, I have sold a house, moved twice, shifted my consulting business to a full-time roll at an agency, reconnected with some great friends, and I often think it was easier than I feared it would be while I stayed stuck for far too many years. You know what you want. It may take time, more money, some additional training,

I don't write that from some perfect perch above fear, I have lost count the things I've "meant to" or "wanted to" do; we all have that list. The key question is whether we're going to take those items off the list or actually do them. Because we could keep nestled in the safety of "some day I'm going to..." or take the shot.

It's irrelevant without one critical ingredient – action

Try this. Put your entire focus on that one single thing. Now make only one decision; whether you are prepared to do what it takes to accomplish it, or accept you don't really have the desire.

The late Jim Rohn had a great phrase I remind myself often - especially in those moments when I'm lying to myself about some day I'm going to - and that is; if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way; if not, you'll find an excuse.

Let's find a way.
__________________________________________________________________

Thank You

The new year has begun. The resolutions, reflections, promises, and future, have all been examined. We are all more reflective this time of year and despite the onslaught of meals and gifts and visiting you may have done, not everyone has that experience; many are alone this time of year. If you know someone who is, give them a call, they'll appreciate it.

This is also the time of year we often look at our lives and wonder if we are living it the way they want. I know a lot of people who lost their gig in 2015 and my heart breaks for them. I have been consulting for nine years and it's not always easy. We all have challenges and rough patches. Last year was a transition one for me on almost all levels as I ready myself for the next push up the hill.

Rethink. Redo. Restart.

In the past six months, I have completely revamped my life. I have emerged from a few tough years and many have stepped up to help. It's a bit overwhelming. Friends show up when you need them. I'm sure you're like me; you help without a thought, but asking or receiving help isn't as easy. Friends encouraged me to speak at TEDx this month and continue working on my book.

As we embark on this new year, my words of advice are; offer help and ask for help. We aren't in this thing called life alone. Let's spend less time clicking and posting at each other and more time helping, growing, and learning from each other.

Happy New Year!
__________________________________________________________________
As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience as a business advisor and project manager in numerous industries and organizations including; human resources, corporate training, financial services, media, real estate, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting leaders who want to improve their bottom line through strong culture and leadership.