Know Care Want

You do it; I do it; everyone does it. We have stuff we want or need to do and we find every excuse available not to do it. In my coaching days, after some self-reflection, I came up with three motivating factors that I seem to slip into when faced with this issue and those are; want, know, or care. 

I know salad is better for me than onion rings but I don't always pick salad. I could learn how to change the oil in my car, but I don't want to so I get the oil place to do it. I may know how to clean a bathroom, which I've done a thousand times, but I don't care to do it even though I do.

This TEDTalk is from a bunch of years ago and it rings just as true as when it was first published. Mel Robbins makes a bold proclamation which is absolutely dead on true. 

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We So Scared

Many opine we aren't born with fear but as we go through our lives, it seems we take less chances and become more cautious. It could be because we've experienced things that haven't gone well. It could be because we think we have more wisdom so not to make foolish choices. That voice in our head says; "let's not do that again!"

Experts have been studying this for years and in an article entitled "Decision Neuroscience: Why We Become More Cautious with Age", there is sound evidence which suggests at least part of the reason is physical. As we age, the levels of dopamine in our bodies declines. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and a hormone. It plays a role in many important body functions, including movement, memory and pleasurable reward and motivation. We might be smart but our physiological makeup does have a say in the matter without our interference. 

Age and Ageing 

So that might point to why we rolled the dice at 20 and hesitated at 50. We were born with the ability to reason but we are also made up of chemical elements that don't ask for our input and can become our biggest foe.  

I've had to make a couple of pretty significant decisions in the last few years. One of them I belabored over for weeks. I had a similar situation happen almost two decades ago and I jumped at it. I did make the move again this time but I was aware of how I gave downside more weight than opportunity. 

Hormone levels and age may make us pause a bit longer or fear a bit more but here might be an exercise worth trying. Find something small you are thinking about right now. It could literally be something so insignificant, it might not even matter next week. Take five minutes and try and think of you a decade or two ago and make the decision through that lens. You might surprise yourself.

But I'm still not bungie jumping! 

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Google – Year in Search 2022

Every year, Google publishes the most popular searches of the past 12 months. 

Here are the 2022 results which might surprise and inspire you...

Here are 2021 to 2001

 

 

2009 • 2008 • 2007 • 2006 • 2005 • 2004 • 2003 • 2002 • 2001 

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Help is on the Way

In my experience, if we are currently faced with something we think we can’t accomplish, we can get clear on what we want, what drives us, and what makes us happy. Then we ask those around us for help, or we freeze in fear and nothing gets done.

The word selfish was always a tough one for me. It conjured up images of self-centered people who would take for themselves at the expense of others. These were loud arrogant people who would think nothing of walking over someone for their own gain. But the word selfish also means being self-aware and self-seeking.

Let's Dig Deeper

To seek more of one’s self is to get to the core and underlying meaning of our existence. And while we get clearer on who we are and what we want, the challenge is not in saying yes but rather in saying no to things that weaken our purpose. 

I've discovered it can be helpful to find a quiet place to focus on what is important. Finding that quite place in this busy lizard brain is my challenge. Allowing gratitude for those who help takes practice. There are people in our lives right now who want to help. 

 We just need to pay attention and accept their help.
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Texting Help

The topic of texting is a hot one because it's costing lives as we check our mobile device while we’re mobile. It’s right there, we’re at a stoplight, and it takes a second to check for new messages. That’s bad, right? But what if we look at the technology from a different perspective? How can texting actually help us? I will add that I'm a fan of voice-activated talk-to-text when you really need to connect with someone.

Nancy Lublin shows how teens want to help but often use their mobile devices to reach out. As you watch her talk, imagine how we could harness this for people of all ages.


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Find and Seek

In my experience, if you are currently faced with something you think you can’t accomplish, you can if you are willing to get clear on what you want, what drives you, and what makes you happy. And this is a critical ingredient; open your heart to those around you who want to help.

The word selfish was always a tough one for me. It conjured up images of self-centered people who would take for themselves at the expense of others. These were loud arrogant people who would think nothing of walking over someone for their own gain. But the word selfish also means being self-aware and self-seeking.

Looking Deeper

To seek more of one’s self is to get to the core and underlying meaning of your existence. And while we get clearer on who we are and what we want, the challenge is not in saying yes but rather in saying no to things that weaken our purpose. We need to understand there are people on our side and when help arrives, we need to be grateful because we help others without hesitation.

I've discovered it can be helpful to find a quiet place to focus on what is important. Allowing gratitude for those who help can require practice. Understanding we can go after what we want if we disallow distractions and self-doubt to derail us is a key element of the journey.  There are people in our lives right now who want to help.

It’s up to us to let them and be grateful they did.
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No Texting and Driving

The topic of texting is a hot one because it's costing lives as we check our mobile device while we’re mobile. It’s right there, we’re at a stoplight, and it takes a second to check for new messages. That’s bad, right? But what if we look at the technology from a different perspective? How can texting actually help us?

Nancy Lublin shows how teens want to help but often use their mobile devices to reach out. As you watch her talk, imagine how we could harness this for people of all ages.


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Doing Our Happy Work

There aren’t usually many surprises in most employee surveys. We want to be compensated fairly, enjoy a collaborative work environment, and have the ability to advance within the organization.

Dan Ariely is a professor of psychology and behavioral economics who explains some of the elements that make us happy or unhappy at work.


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One Mann's Opinion

My grade 10 history teacher proclaimed there is no such thing as an unbiased opinion. News agencies have purported they are your source for the real stories void of any slant or partiality. Marketing companies create campaigns to convince us this is the best product there ever has existed in that category. Some leaders espouse open collaboration whilst showing clear favoritism to some employees. We all do it even though we may claim to be unbiased.

So when two people are having a conversation – they begin with their own bias, opinion, and experience. It doesn’t start on even footing. You and I may think we agree on something but there are nuances we may not discuss. And if we continue to make them along the way, in short order, we could be far apart from each other because we make assumptions we’re on the same proverbial page.

No expectations

In a team environment, making assumptions can be dangerous as well. It can be difficult to keep that in check if you have been working together for a while. There's a dance and an unspoken language among a group that forms over time. So if you do regular check-ins with each other, it can create even stronger collaborative situation.

I have opinions, you have biases, we have our own view. If we simply ask each other, we may discover a better way of looking at the world.

That's just my opinion.
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Recruiting Your Company

As an executive recruiter, I spend a lot of my time speaking with people who are gainfully employed and for the most part happy where they're working now until I call them. Many say no thank you. Some say tell me more. And a few say yes eventually.

It's interesting to be in those conversations after we discuss the opportunity and company because execs want to know what kind of company and what type of people work there before considering a career move.

Here are five simple yet telling questions you can ask your team, owner, boss, or company and it will tell you everything you need to know.

What do we stand for?

How do we help?

Where do we impact?

Why do we do what we do?

What will we not do?
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Scott Weiland – Remembering a Beautiful Soul

Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart

The first 20 years of my career were spent in radio; programming, music, marketing, promotions, building teams, overseeing events, building new stations, and I had the unique privilege of meeting and interviewing over a thousand alternative rock artists and bands. Most were fantastic, some were terrible,  many were fun, and a couple of them were haunting.

One of them was Scott Weiland. 

The news of his death has been met with mixed reactions. Grief, of course; but much of the feelings being shared are sprinkled with comments about the lack of surprise. He battled drug addition his entire adult life, so many aren't surprised he died young. We often call them demons, as if they aren't to be given the same care and respect we give a physical injury or chronic illness and that's wrong!

I first heard Scott’s band Stone Temple Pilots in 1993. It was thick and melodic; the lyrics haunting and later telling of a tortured soul searching for peace. It was a time when grunge had slid into a rebirth of bombastic arena rock drenched in glam and escape. It was a release from the angst of Nirvana and Alice in Chains while borrowing some of their tones and feeling.

Big Empty

Scott was the showman, the clown, the sad man, a riveting force on stage with his lizard dance. He was an artistic man who couldn’t quench his never ending thirst for harmony in the pit of his soul and much of it was right out there for the world to watch. I saw him perform five times. He was mesmerizing.

I met Scott in 1999 when I was at The Edge in Toronto. The band came into our street-level studio for an interview and to perform acoustically. The original plan was three songs. Between the fourth and fifth, Scott came over to me and said; “Sorry for hoggin' your studio, man.” I said; “You guys are welcome to play all night.”

The studio was about 600 square feet. We were crammed in there; it was as if the biggest band on the planet was performing in our living room.

Interstate Love Song

Meeting him afterward, he was exactly what you’d expect; arrogant and dismissive, he could hardly make eye contact yet screaming for attention. He was the star of the show shrouded in a cloak of debilitating self-doubt. As we were gathering for dinner, he turned and looked right at me and said; “Do you like the new album?” I said; “Yes I do”.

He paused like the kid waiting for mom to approve his latest finger painting. Not to be over dramatic, but I felt like I saw a glimmer of Scott rather than the lead singer of a band. A second later, the rock star reappeared and he said; “Cool, thanks dude” and he got into the van. At dinner, he was the life of the party. I suspect sitting quietly wasn't his strong suit.

Plush

A while later, STP band mates Eric Kretz and Robert & Dean DeLeo were in town with their side project Talk Show. Scott was serving time in prison. The pain his brothers felt for him was palpable. After dinner, we talked for hours. It was a human moment, not a radio programmer hanging with rock stars’ moment.

During that period, it was funny that I seem to run into Dean and Robert in the oddest places; at a video shoot in LA, a festival in Atlanta, and a show in NYC. They are lovely people certainly missing their family member.

Vasoline

During and after STP, Scott had Velvet Revolver, Camp Freddy, The Magnificent Bastards, The Wondergirls, and Art of Anarchy. He was found just before his band The Wildabouts were to hit the stage at a show in Bloomington, Minnesota; still on the road, still chasing and running, while the adoring fans cheered on.

We know Scott Weilland because he was famous but his struggle was far too common.

Like millions, I loved his music; still do. We didn’t know how to have the right conversation of the struggle he and far too many others are facing. This is not a story of yet another drug induced rock star found on a tour bus. This is a lesson that what we see in front of us is often not what is there at all.

Scott Richard Weiland – Rest in peace.
Oct 27, 1967 – Dec 3, 2015


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Is Happy Work Possible?

There aren’t usually many surprises whenever I see an employee survey. Most (all) of us want to be compensated fairly, enjoy a collaborative work environment, and have the ability to advance within the organization.

Are those the things that make us happy at work?

Dan Ariely is a professor of psychology and behavioral economics who explains some of the elements that make us happy or unhappy at work.


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit
New Book out in 2016 – Details soon!

Seeing Each Other

I've been looking closely at relationships lately. I've always found human behavior a fascinating topic but it seems to be something that has seeped into all aspects of my life in the last year or so.

How we communicate. How we look at the past. How we heal and grow and move forward. How we interact with each other. How we let others into our lives - in a deeply honest and open human way. How we create a healthy relationship with ourselves.

Dr. Starla Fitch has a look at relationships and how we see others.


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

Don't Let the Bozos Grind You Down

Whether you run your own home-based business or oversee a corporate team of thousands, innovation is a key element to your offering. We all have to transform what we offer to customers and clients and prospects, or we’re out of business.

Guy Kawasaki outlines 10 key points to innovation and they can be applied to any business. Invest 20 minutes and watch this. Then get back to creating and innovating.


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

Help Someone Up

I often say we see what we’re looking for but how often do we get what we don’t want? The human brain seems to do a great job of building up the negative energy in an instant yet it gets stuck on its way to positive thought. We get scared, we worry, and we play out scenarios that could take us in the wrong direction, which are destructive behaviors that get us nowhwere.

Earlier this week, I was reading a few articles on being bold. They sounded great – regret is worse than failure, freedom is better than money, I was getting excited and re-energized. But then that monkey brain takes over and the cycle continues.

Replacing Negative Thought with Positive Action

It’s clearly not enough to do what we tell each other to do and go for our passions, reach for our dreams, and dig deeper to find what we really want. Just saying it is just a bunch of words. If we don't take one more step today, we might wake up tomorrow beating ourselves up again.

We are battling generations of behavior inside each of us that contribute to our behavior maps that direct us to the wrong destinations. And we are doing it without a plan. We are hoping and wishing for a different result yet staying where we are.

Change is hard. Regret is worse.

I’ve been revisiting a great piece of advice recently. If we’re feeling down, help someone up. And it works. It feels great to take our minds away from our real or imagined problems and lend a helping hand to another.

It shakes loose the rubble of our confused and clutter minds to clear our way to potential ideas. So just for today, let's put aside what we are worried about and help someone up.

It could be exactly what we need.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

Leading Innovation and Creativity

We see it everywhere. Many of us say it often. But how do we ensure innovation and creativity are given the time, space, and freedom to flourish?

Innovation is a necessary element of our existence. It’s not a new concept but we seem to be taking a closer look at it. Linda Hill from the Harvard Business School unearthed some fascinating elements of collective genius, teamwork, and the iterative nature of leadership and innovation.

__________________________________________________________________ Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

Making Assumptions

My grade 10 history teacher proclaimed there is no such thing as an unbiased opinion. News agencies have purported they are your source for the real stories void of any slant or partiality. Marketing companies create campaigns to convince us this is the best product there ever has existed in that category. Leaders espouse open collaboration whilst showing clear favoritism to some employees. We all do it even though we may claim to be unbiased.

So when two people are having a conversation – they begin with their own bias, opinion, and experience. It doesn’t start on even footing. You and I may think we agree on something but there are nuances that we may not discuss. And if we continue to make them along the way, in short order, we could be far apart from each other because we make assumptions we’re on the same proverbial page.

No Expectations

I have a friend who says he goes into every situation with no expectations. It sounds like a great idea. You go in not imagining an outcome and no one gets hurt. Easy peasy. But he does presume to be respected and trusted so can he really have no expectations? Of course not.

In a team environment, making assumptions can be dangerous as well. But it is difficult to keep that in check if you have been working together for a while. There’s a dance and an unspoken language amongst a group that forms over time. So if you do regular check-ins with each other, it can open up an even stronger collaborative situation.

I have opinions, you have biases, and we all have our own view. Instead of making the assumption we see things the same way, if we simply ask each other, we may discover a better way of looking at the world.

But that’s just my opinion.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Progress

Accepted Behavior

8:13 Tuesday morning

Glen is late again for the weekly sales meeting. It’s the third week in a row. He says there’s a lot going on in the morning with day care and school buses and making lunches for the kids and traffic. So the sales manager surveys the team and discovers four other members are dealing with similar issues. She carefully asks the entire team – so to not hinder those who don’t have kids – whether it would help if the meeting was moved to 8:30. Everyone agrees.

8:42 Tuesday morning – four weeks later

Glen is late for the third time. What would you do as sales manager? Most fall into two categories – yell at Glen or ignore it and hope it goes away. Neither is wise. People have kids, families, life outside of work as they should, but the sales meeting is 8:30 Tuesday mornings – moved because Glen couldn't make it for the original 8am time – and if everyone else can make it, so can Glen. There will always be exceptions, but the sales manager and Glen should deal with it and not inconvenience the team again. Or Glen may need to have his future freed up to find somewhere else to meet.

I was speaking with a colleague this week about deadlines. She says a member of her team is habitually late on projects. I asked for clarification whether it was every deadline and she said yes. Every time her colleague is given a target, she misses it.

Several Options

First, you could fire her, which is a bit rash. Second, you could create fake deadlines that are ahead of the real ones so the rest of the team isn't negatively affected by the person who is always late, which is a bit ridiculous. Third, talk to her and tell her if she is late again, refer to the first option. Or fourth, dig deeper on why she’s late – what is the deep rooted reason for this behavior?

It’s easy to say she doesn't respect the fact she’s holding everyone up by being late, but there could very well be a deeper issue here. One thought, she may have never been reprimanded for missing deadlines so her motivation isn't there. It's hard to believe she simply doesn't respect the rest of the team but that can't be ruled out either. Or she may think deadlines are for others and not her.

Two Perpetrators

The person missing the deadline and the person who accepts the behavior own this situation. We don't have difficult conversations because they are difficult but while avoiding a firm chat with one member of the team, the rest will know you’re avoiding the issue and may decide to miss a deadline or two themselves since it doesn't seem to be important. That would be a shame and create a much bigger issue.

Years ago I had to finally let a team member go after he was late seven times. He showed up on that last occasion with a fresh take-out coffee which was a nice touch.

The behavior we accept is often what we continue to receive.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Progress

pretzellogic

Relationships Are Not Easy

We are twisted complicated creatures. There is pressure to do well, meet deadlines, attain results, and all the while run to find some unattainable goal of success. We are trying to navigate relationships with each other and most importantly with ourselves.

Trust is key – that’s the deal breaker. Without trust, we have nothing. But in business, it’s not always easy to maintain. There is pressure to make a buck, increase market share, and win the customer. And in life, it’s difficult to keep that openness because of competing priorities and baggage from the past.

Easier Said Than Done

It might be unintentional but we measure those around us against those who used to be around us. We have layers to peel through and old habits to challenge in order to build stronger relationships in life and in business. But trust doesn't happen if we’re not trustworthy. This is work for each of us, not just the other person.

We all mess up. We stumble and make mistakes. So we must try our level best not to hold others to a higher standard than we are prepared to hold ourselves. And we should also realize there is no such thing as the moral high ground.

We can improve our relationships with open communication and fairness. I’d rather have a small handful of people in my life I can trust verses a roomful of people I can’t but is that really possible in our busy over competitive time?

That's up to us.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

istock

Are You Grateful?

The last six months of my life has been quite a trip. In my experience, if you are currently faced with something you think you can’t accomplish, you can if you are willing to get clear on what you want, what drives you, and what makes you happy. And this is a critical ingredient; open your heart to those around you who want to help.

The word selfish was always a tough one for me. It conjured up images of self-centered people who would take for themselves at the expense of others. These were loud arrogant people who would think nothing of walking over someone for their own gain. But the word selfish also means being self-aware and self-seeking.

Seek and Find

To seek more of one’s self is to get to the core and underlying meaning of your existence. And while we get clearer on who we are and what we want, the challenge is not in saying yes but rather in saying no to things that weaken our purpose. We need to understand there are people on our side and when help arrives, we need to be grateful because we help others without hesitation.

I've discovered it can be helpful to find a quiet place to focus on what is important. Allowing gratitude for those who help can require practice. Understanding we can go after what we want if we disallow distractions and self-doubt to derail us is a key element of the journey. And if we remain grateful for what we have now, then we can build from there.

Look around. There are people in your life right now who want to help. It’s up to you to let them and be grateful they did.
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Kneale Mann | Leadership and management consultant helping leaders, teams, and companies get clear on their goals and results.

gratefulfoodie