Showing posts with label Guest Article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Article. Show all posts

Monday, 2 January 2017

Sin Synn Guest Article - "They Keep Pulling me Back In..."

Those of you with long memories may recall that I used to write articles for a blog network called the House of Paincakes. One of my fellow writers on that network was a strange creature known as SinSynn who has decided to return to the world of blogging that quite frankly has been lessened by his absence...well...there were less tentacles at least...and Megan Fox was marginally safer...

Having no desire to manage a blog of his own will be utilising mine so here's his third article this time with some warnings about the dangers of addiction....

--------------------


Hey, folks. SinSynn here.

Sorry for the lack of posting, but I've actually gotten mixed up with a bad crowd, and I'm up to no good.
Oh, sure, '40k Escalation League' sounds all innocent an' whatnot, but lemme tell ya - I've already found myself breaking night, on work nights, no less. I've spent money I don't have. I've been lying, sneaking, and generally acting like a shady character in an effort to get my slimy tentacles on my next 40k fix.

*Look, man...Lemme just hold a sprue*
Yes, folks. You read that correctly. I'm jumping back into the hobby like I'm brand-noob.
I joined a 40k Escalation League.
:D
The good news is that I won't be forced to play Battlefront's somewhat awful Team Yankee (yeah, I said it), but I think I might've pulled off a really cool Matrix-like dodge maneuver: I avoided the bullet, only to step right in front of a cannonball.
D'oh.

People were practically giving Team Yankee stuff away. I had already scored brand-new, in-box sets of U.S. Abrams Tank platoons and a U.S. Mechanized platoons for like 20 bucks a box. Nevertheless, in truth, I didn't really wanna play Team Yankee. I didn't.
I was gonna do it, cuz the Ultimate Rival was all into it, and welp, waddayagonnado? That's my boy, and I don't really have any other excuses to offer other than that.
Team Yankee's future looked bleak 'round my way; gamers were unloading their brand-new boxsets - that's always a bad sign once the initial 'new game excitement' wears off. With new systems like the Star Wars X Wing game you couldn't find new kits anywhere when they released.
A few months after Team Yankee releases and folks are happy to lose more than half of their investment cuz hey – sumpthin' is better than nuthin.'
Such is life huh?
*shrug*
The Ultimate Rival and I were happy to play it in the Gaming Garage, and we had a couple other suckers to make up the numbers for club vs. club tournaments.

We played a few games, and the future seemed set, but then, outta the blue, Games Workshop started...doin' stuffs.
Neither the Ultimate Rival or myself saw it coming. Neither of us could've predicted it. It didn't sneak up on us, either. One day we just started talkin' 'bout 40k. GW was makin' moves, releasing new stuffs, giving fans things they wanted...
The Ultimate Rival and I went back 'n' forth for a bit, and there was definitely something in the air, but neither of us was willing to commit. We've both been burned by GW before.
Sadly, both of us are huge suckers when it comes to 40k. We have the collective willpower of an alcoholic trapped in a bar following the inevitable zombie apocalypse when 40k gets a buncha new shinies.
We wants them. Yesh, we do.

 *Is that a new shiny?*
I will say this- the Ultimate Rival broke down first. It wasn't me.
So nyah.

One day I just got a text, showing a picture of a buncha Beakie boxsets, with a total bullsh*t excuse that simply read, 'I'm gonna start building a Salamanders army for my youngest son.'
Every single stalk-mounted occular appendage on my knobbly Xeno head rolled in a nearly teenage-girl sooper-dramatic drama level.

'Sure thing, dude,' I replied, 'Your son needs a Salamander army. That looks like enough boxsets to build more than a single army, though. Unless that's gonna be a full-blown Drop Pod army...with a buncha Landraiders, and Rhinos, and is that a Storm Talon?'

There was a somewhat lengthy pause. We both knew what was happening here, but we've both fallen off this particular wagon a handful of times...it's just that admitting it is a lil' embarrassing.
A smidgen. A tad. A wee bit...
So making the other guy suffer is mandatory.
'Well,' he says ever-so-innocently, 'I've been thinking that maybe my Black Templars can use a flyer.'
Pffft. This guy...So full of it.
'I thought you already had a Storm Raven,' I countered, 'That's a flyer, no? Your Templars already have a flyer, wiseguy.'
I could hear him throwing his hands up.
'Ok, more flyers, then. I was totally in the store, buying stuff for the kid, and I saw the Storm Talon, and I was like “Hey, why not?” You know how these things happen. So yes, I bought a Storm Talon for my Black Templars. We have access to all the Vanilla stuff now, y'know.'
I narrowed most of my stalk-mounted occular appendages. 'And that's all you bought?'
Another pause.
...
'I ASKED IF THAT'S ALL YOU BOUGHT,' I repeated, in an entirely overly loud voice.
'I HEARD YOU, YOU IDIOT,' he shouted back at me, 'jeez, I was just thinking.'
There was something in the tone of his voice that was triggering every 'It's a trap!' sensor in my head. Him 'thinking' is never a good sign.
'Oh gawd,' I exclaimed quietly, 'What did you do, you maniac?'
Again with the pause...well, I was suffering a frighten. Maybe he didn't hear me...
...
'I SAID WHAT DID...'
'I FRIGGIN' HEARD YOU FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!'
'Well maybe chill with the awkward pauses. I feel like you're trying to work up the nerve to tell me you're pregnant with my child...Oh gawd, please tell me you're not pregnant with my child...'
The Ultimate Rival put on his exasperated voice. 'Y'know, it's just impossible to have a normal conversation with you. It's like you can't go five minutes without saying something weird, or something only you think is funny. I swear, after all these years...'
'I can't help but notice you've failed to answer my question,' I interrupt his lil' tirade, 'Just fess up, dude. What did you do? What army are you building now? Whatever it is, you're on your own. We discussed this. We both agreed we wouldn't do anything about 40k until we saw new rules that we both liked.'
Clearly, I was putting my foot down. I wasn't gonna give in to 40k and its wily ways.
'Well ha, wiseguy,' came the Ultimate Rival's ever-so-smug retort, 'I'm not building a “new” army. This is all Templars stuff.'
...there was something about the way he said that that made me say my next thought aloud...
'You're building a brand-new Black Templars army, aren't you?'
...and his reply was completely unsurprising...
'Basically yes.'
-_-

*Hi, I'm a Black Templar. Far into the future, when mankind has mastered faster-than-light travel, and everyone has crazy laserguns an' whatnot, we're gonna fight with swords and use lanterns. Makes total sense*
Well that's a cute story, SinSynn, I hear you say. That hardly explains how you're suddenly in a 40k Escalation League, now does it? Mister 'I won't fall for 40k and its wily ways' over here.
Well, first of all...Don't you judge me.
I've already admitted to being so weak I can't bench press a Kleenex, fer cryin' out loud.
Furthermore...Chill, money.
I haz excuses. Good ones, I swearz,

*Just don't ask any questions and this will all work out fine*
Ok, well...It all started with The Hamster That Lives In My Head, y'see...
(Yes, we're totally going with this excuse. You shadddup. This is gud excuse)
There I was one night, fighting with him over which tab was gonna be open on the laptop, the tentacle porn tab, or the...what the hell was that?

'Oh that?' the Hamster casually replies to my frenzied queries flippantly. He knows what he's doing, the fuzzy little jerk. My weakness for tentacle porn can only possibly be topped by my weakness for...
'That, my empty-headed Xeno friend, is one of the new Tau Mechs.'

*What is it? Oh, it's just a giant Stealthsuit, that's all O-o WHAT THE FLYIN' F*CK? Gimme naow*
Normally at this point, The Hamster That Lives In My Head is frantically spinning my thoughts on his lil' Hamster exercise wheel, but since he was currently surfing the 'net on my laptop, I just kinda stared blankly in open mouthed amazement.
'Did you just say “one of” the new Tau Mechs?' I asked in a monotone fashion, my eyes glued to the monitor, the tentacle porn forgotten, despite the flopping tentacles and sticky fluids everywhere, 'As in, there's more than one new Tau Mech?'
The Hamster smiled a smile that probably looked very much like the smile the Serpent gave Eve as he convinced her that apples are delicious, and so good for you too.
'Oh yeah, man...there's a bunch. Just lookit thi-'
He didn't have time to finish that sentence, as I swept him and the tentacle lubricant and generous pile of towels off the desk, and started going through the Tau section over at the Games Workshop website.
...After a couple of minutes, I retrieved the lubricant and towels...

A day or so later, this happened...

*I swear, I was reverse-mugged on East 8th street in the Village! That's totally what happened!* 
Aaaaand...the next thing you know, I'm in an Escalation League, cuz apparently there's a whole buncha fools that caught this sudden outbreak of 40k-itis, or whatever you wanna call it.

Look, I'm not proud.
But OHMYGAWD I luvs da new Tau Codex.
It's so shmexy.

*Hey...That's a mighty big burst cannon you've got there*
And we're gonna talk all about it, next time. I swearz.
Right now, I've got two more Crisis Suits to build, and I've still got several tentacles that aren't glued together yet.
:D
So yeah...I'm back, suckas.


*And there has been much rejoicing :)*
You thought I complained a lot about Games Workshop before?
Hah!
Have you seen the price of a Broadside lately?
0_o

Until next time, folks – Have a very Xenos day!
(Returning to the original)

- SinSynn

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Sunday Round-up

I finally escaped after a carefully calculated and fiendishly complicated plan the subtle intricacies of which are nearly impossible to explain to an amateur.....


...having lulled my captors into a false sense of security by spending my time playing cards with my new Strictly Twisted Fate Deck and catching up on reading my fellow Blogger SinSynn's excellent hobby article...you know...this one...they were caught completely by surprise...


...so with most of the Breaches to Malifaux well guarded I think I'll spend the majority of my time on The Other Side where the current chaotic circumstances should give me the edge...


...given the extensive search that is no doubt under way to locate me I'll be lying low over the Christmas period so with the exception of a newsletter here and there you probably wont see a lot of hobby content from me. I will however be updating the Unboxing Malifaux and Other Unboxing tabs over the next week to ensure that you haven't missed any of the previous features and getting a new batch of articles ready for the new year. That's not to say that nothing new will appear just that I haven't anything particular planned...well,,,these may appear but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I was you as work gets kinda mad the week before Christmas and my family will no doubt want to see me as well at some point...


Thoughts and comments are (as usual) most welcome.

Monday, 12 December 2016

SinSynn Guest Post - Games Workshop Musings


Those of you with long memories may recall that I used to write articles for a blog network called the House of Paincakes. One of my fellow writers on that network was a strange creature known as SinSynn who has decided to return to the world of blogging that quite frankly has been lessened by his absence...well...there were less tentacles at least...and Megan Fox was marginally safer...

Having no desire to manage a blog of his own will be utilising mine so here's his second article this time with some musings on Games Workshop....

--------------------



Hey, folks. SinSynn here.

So I visited Games Workshop's slightly fancier-than-I-remember-it website today and had a lil' lookie. It's been awhile, G-Dubz...I see you call your website an 'online store' now. That's nice. The internet is a thing.
I'm not sure how many folks have a love/hate relationship with GW similar to mine. I know I'm not alone here - Games Workshop seems to have a gift for...I'm not sure what to call it...being somewhat insular, perhaps? Is that a fair thing to say?
When it comes to dealing with things like their fanbase, advertising, hype and rumors, timely releases, and, welp, pretty much any instance where contact and/or communication with the world at large is required, Games Workshop has historically just seemed...is uninterested a fair thing to say? Lackadaisical?
To be fair, I hesitate to use words like 'confused' or 'dismayed,' but honestly there's not another company out there that's given me as many SMH moments as good ol' G-Dubz.
Bless their crazy hearts, but OhMyGawd they're a frustrating company to be a fan of.
 -_-
Stoopid....G-Dubz.
Y U make me have psychotic episodes and take to the keyboard, where I spill out all my insanity? Sigh.
*I'm sure we can fit a few moar in there...*
I've spent so long in the 40k Universe that I'm positive the Warp has crept into my cold, dark Xeno fluid-exchanging valves, and there's just no way out now. I've tried walking away, creeping away, sneaking away, giving away all my 40k stuffs and turning my back on the whole thing...all to no avail.

Don't get it twisted - I love many other sci-fi and fantasy universes.
By way of a fer instance, I've been hearing rumbles about a new Dune thing; a movie, a series of movies? A big budget show akin to HBO's Game of Thrones, mayhap?
 ... Oh, excuse me. One of my tentacles had literally started touching something in impure manner... ...I'm sorry, desk...we'll getchu cleaned up. I haz shame...
I'm gonna need a towel here... 

Seriously, though, imagine all of Frank Herbert's Dune books, from Dune to Chapterhouse Dune, presented live-action, in proper chronological order, with a millions-O-dollars budget, giving us every scene with no corners cut...with Fremen riding giant worms into combat, knocking down the outer walls of a city as thousands of lasers trace back 'n' forth, and...
*squish*
...Oh, OhMyGawd desk I'm sorry...Oh jeez you didn't deserve that...
Wow, Imma run outta towels here...I am so, so sorry, desky desk. I luvs you. U R friend...

*ahem*
Anywho, yeah. I've heard names like David Lynch attached to these rumors, so who knows?
Dune, the book series, has a lotta 'people thinking within their own heads,' and as readers we're privy to all of it, and their inner monologues are ever-so-important to the whole thing.
If you've seen the 1984 movie, then you've had a taste of how kinda, sorta awkward making Dune work on film is, so I've never really had high hopes for a proper Dune thingy.
Still...there's gushy residue on my desk, so, ummm...I sure do luvs da Dune 'verse...
I am sorry, desk. Really I am.

*Dune - And yes, I only consider Frank Herbert's Dune books worthy, not the follow-ups written by his son, or whatever. As you can see, Dune is a lil' light on Beakie Chapters, but there is a God Emperor, so that's something*
40k remains pinned to the top of my 'favorite places to visit in my mind' list, and it ain't goin' nowhere, so when I first heard rumors of Matt 'I luvs da Beakies' Ward returning to the Games Workshop fold, in an unknown capacity even (or has that changed? Do we know what he's up to?), I absolutely did horrible things to the nearest piece of furniture I could wrap my tentacles around.

Don't you judge me. I've seen what sports fans get up to, y'know.
Hmph.
Besides, you should see how glossy alla furniture in my lil' Bronx apartment is. It gleams. So nyah.

Yes, I know I, uh...might've complained a lil' 'bout Matt Ward during his initial tenure as Mr. Main Codex Writer Guy at Games Workshop, but it was just a lil.'
A tad. A wee bit. A smidgen, maybe.
*looks innocent for five whole seconds*
Okay, maybe I riffed about him incessantly, 'specially after the Grey Knights release, but I won't deny that 5th Edition was by far the most fun I had playing 40k, like ever.

6th Edition felt like a deliberate punch in the gut from GW.
It felt like a disavowal of everything the 40k scene had evolved into; the conventions and huge tournaments, the blogs and forums dedicated to the game, all of it driven for the most part by fans who love this silly thingy. Games Workshop threw a few official events every year, and welp, there were a lotta happy 40k'ers in the world.
Until, that is, GW did the world's slowest rug pull out from under the 'competitive scene' by first cancelling any and all of their own events, then cancelling any and all support for independently run events, and then releasing the absolute clunker that was the 6th Edition 40k ruleset.

In typical Games Workshop fashion for the time, there was no real explanation, no interaction with the community that supported them, so it kinda came off, in my opinion at least, as if Games Workshop was upset with us for playing with their toys in a fashion they didn't approve of, and decided to literally friggin' murder the fledgling competitive scene blooming up around 40k.

What ultimately happened, however, is that following a period of confusion and fumbling around, a lot of gamers (and the tournaments and conventions they attended) simply moved on to other games, and here we are a few years later and our hobby is massively, massively fragmented, when once so many of us united beneath the Games Workshop banner.

Is this a good thing? Bad thing?
I dunno.
Those gamers, myself included, took their money elsewhere.

KickStarter came along about this time as well, and boy-oh-boy, do we ever have a lotta choices now. Minigamers went from having pretty much two games to choose from - do you wanna play 40k or Warmachine? - to literally having entirely too many choices.
Now your biggest problem is gonna be finding someone else to invest in a new game with you, and then hoping you can grow the game so you'll actually have someone else besides your buddy to play with.
'Tis quite a conundrum, but I don't think we ever would've seen games like Malifaux, Saga, Infinity, or oh-so-many-others gain traction like they have in a Games Workshop dominated hobby scene, so...there ya go.

*Battlefront still commissions their art at high schools, apparently*
No one, single company seems even remotely capable of grabbing the torch and running with it, and flat-out 'replacing' Games Workshop.

While there may be a dozen or more companies out there making models that are every bit as detailed as a 40k fig, and others offering cheaper figs, and meow meow meow, Games Workshop always has something they lack - the Warhammer Universes.
Two of them.

Not long (in GW terms, that is) after they got done with the 40k makeover, they set about killing off one of those Universes.
Like, fer realz.
Boom, dead.
And there was much lamenting...

While I'll admit that I'm not a swords and sorcery guy when it comes to my minigames, the way Games Workshop handled the whole Warhammer Fantasy debacle was...is poorly handled a fair thing to say?
I'm not gonna say 'shocking,' cuz no...by the time Fantasy's demise rolled around there's not a lot GW could do that would surprise me. Honestly, it would've been more surprising, 'round that time, if they had done something I thought was awesome.

*Viya Con Dios, Warhammer Fantasy. You deserved better*
Look, I'm not ever gonna act like a company owes me anything because I purchase their products. Any involvement I have with Games Workshop ends with me getting a receipt for my purchase and walking outta the store, or whatever. Anything after that is on me. If I ever write something that somehow convinces someone to go buy a 40k figure, well...I'm glad, but at no point will I ever feel as if Games Workshop literally owes any of us poor, warp-ridden sods anything.

They're a company. Companies are supposed to be all about making money (I haz doubts, sometimes, where G-Dubz and 'profits' are concerned).
That often means making decisions that may be unpopular with some customers, but will hopefully net more profits when it comes time to count the money. I get that.
What kills me about G-Dubz is the amazing consistency they seem to have for making what seem like extremely counter-intuitive business decisions. Combine that with the fact that whenever they release their financial statements their stock looks as attractive and upwardly mobile as a dead sloth, and you've got half of the gaming blog-o-sphere swearing their cat could make better business decisions than the folks at Games Workshop...and then we started making fun of Age of Sigmar...
Sigh.

Games Workshop killed off one of their signature franchises, and replaced it with something laughable, as far as comprehensive rulesets for games with hundreds of figs go.
It was painful to watch.

I understand there are some folks out there that kinda like Age of Sigmar, but that's not ever gonna make me think it was a good idea. The Twilight series of books and movies has fans, too.
-_-

On the flip side of alla the bad news, Games Workshop had done one good thing, and maybe two...but two is pushing it...
Firstly, they had re-released the Space Hulk board game.

Yes, they got all stoopid, claiming it was like, a one-time, limited, deluxe sooper-collector's edition type-o-thingy (sigh, G-Dubz. Just sigh), but hey- we got Space Hulk, so whatever. I'll take it. And yes, we were all hoping for a re-release of Blood Bowl the following year, but hahahahahahahahahaha! G-Dubz pulled a massive troll on us by giving us...Dreadfleet.
:D
I know, right?
Remember Dreadfleet?
The game no one wanted, no one asked for, I don't know a single person that purchased it, and had to be the best example evar of GW's hubris.
At the time, I remember being amazed that we were getting this...thing instead of Blood Bowl, which seemed like a no-brainer following the success of Space Hulk, and also being completely put off by GW's 'just shaddup and buy it cuz we made it' way of presenting things to us.
The Games Workshop staff were firmly ensconced in their ivory towers, or whatever, and it felt like there was no way we could even ask them a question.
Perhaps I'm a lil' overly dramatic, but...welp, I don't have an excuse, actually. I'm just riffin,' but that's kinda what I do.
So...Ivory Towers. 
G-Dubz haz dem.
:P

*Games Workshop Headquarters. Yesh*
The second thing they did (and I realize I might be pushing it here a lil' bit) was release their first important free, downloadable ruleset. Sadly that came in the form of Age of Sigmar, but nevertheless I found it curious.
Sure, in typical Games Workshop form they got there in the most awful way possible, by killing off one of their two most recognizable brand names. Warhammer Fantasy didn't go out with a bang, like yer average comic book or movie franchise - a big, crash-bang, explosion-filled, fan service-filled finale, unfortunately.

Was Warhammer Fantasy losing money?
Dragging G-Dubz down?
Was it beyond saving?
I very much doubt it, and please don't get me started on their whole 'Lord of the Rings' phase. Please. -_-

All I'm gonna say is that GW took the opportunity to dip their toe into a new paradigm for them - give the rules away for free, and sell the models gamers need to play it for cash money.
The theory is that, if the rules are good enough, they'll drive interest in the game, and folks will buy models to play it. I'm sure we'll never know how Age of Sigmar is making or losing money, cuz lord knows GW is so secretive we'll need the Russians to hack their servers if we ever wanna know what the heck G-Dubz is getting up to.

I've found that everything always works in theory, it's when you put these things into practice that they tend to go awry. I will give GW a tiny bit o' credit for giving the free, downloadable ruleset a try, however.
They tried.
At least they tried.

Just when you think they can't do any more outlandishly backwards stuffs, G-Dubz catches me out there and releases the Mechanicum Codex for 40k.
0_o
I, uh...what?

When this happened, I was...is speechless a fair thing to say? Dumbfounded?
Nah, cuz I'm dumb most of the time...
How long have 40k fans wanted some Mechanicum stuffs?
Only forever.

*This is cool. The Mechanicus stuffs from GW is cool. It's weird an' unique an' no one else out there has anything quite like it, fluff OR fig-wise. THIS...this is part of what makes 40k so darned awesome, and GW gave it to us finally*
I mean, sure...I could see Forge World makin' some Mechanicum models.
Just a few of this and that to look good. Not a whole Codex worth of stuffs, and not in plastic for us scruffy nerfherder 'can't really afford too much Forge World' types.
Yeah, Games Workshop released a whole new army for 40k, with a new lineup of models and a Codex to accompany them. And...wait for it...it was something we wanted.
It wasn't moar Space Marines. 
Go figure.

I was a lil' wary, cuz GW had managed to turn basically one model into an entire Codex with Imperial Knights, but no...Cult Mechanicus may be a wee bit on the thin side, overall, but I think it was an actual good move on GW's part.
...An actual good move...
It could happen.

To my (much greater) surprise, they didn't stop there.
Expansions like the Harlequins and Skitarii, Thousand Sons and Deathwatch...Ok, sure GW could include those as part of their Parent Codexes, and methinks g-Dubz is bein' typical ol' greedy-ass G-Dubz, but it does show they're committed to Digital Publishing, and we prolly shouldn't expect a lotta free downloads outside of the odd formation or two...and yes, I think formations are a sneaky/clever way for GW to move models that aren't selling well.
'Sure, these guys are stoopidly overpriced and underpowered in their original Codex entry, but if you buy twelve of them...'
Sigh GW. Just sigh.
Whilst I don't approve of the method, I approve of the content. Moar content is almost always a good thing...

*Hey - Y'know who needs their own 'Dex? POINTY HEAD SOOPER BEAKIES!!!*
Games Workshop gave us Genestealer Cults...I can't complain about the lack of Genestealer Cults in 40k if Games Workshop actually gives us Genestealer Cults now, can I?
I guess I can't complain about the lack of big, stompy Knights for da bad guys if they gave us that, too...
Hmph.
-_-
Now we've got a Traitor Legion book, Matt Ward might be back, and how far away could a new Edition be for 40k?

The Ultimate Rival was texting me all week, telling me he'll be building a Salamanders army 'for his son,' which is an excuse he's used many times in the past. I was so amped to find out that I may actually get out of playing Team Yankee that I didn't call him on it.
Apparently a buncha folks from my old gaming club are either digging out their old 40k stuffs, or are coming out of pocket to re-up.
They're psyched about this...is turnabout a fair thing to say? Change of direction?
Something is going on at Games Workshop.
Something.
I'm not sure what, and I'm extremely loathe to genuinely believe in Games Workshop due to too many years of 'abusive relationship syndrome,' but...but...

*Sigh. Fine. We'll buy the damn Custodes Codex*
Somewhere, deep in my twisty Xenos guts, there may be a tiny spark.
A very tiny, wee lil' spark.
I mean, all it would take is a decent ruleset to pull it all together. The disparate mess is all there, we just need someone to codify it, organize it and make it fair 'n' fun.
Pffft.
Easy peasy, amirite?
...
...
OhGawd please let this happen. 
Please.

Now if you'll excuse me, I hafta sacrifice a box o' Grey Knights to da Chaos Gods, and chant Matt Ward's name into the Warp.

Until next time, folks...
...
I still gota come up with a good exit line, dammit.
:P

- SinSynn

Monday, 21 November 2016

Sin Synn Guest Post

Those of you with long memories may recall that I used to write articles for a blog network called the House of Paincakes. One of my fellow writers on that network was a strange creature known as SinSynn who has decided to return to the world of blogging that quite frankly has been lessened by his absence...well...there's less tentacles at least...

Having no desire to manage a blog of his own will be utilising mine so here's his triumphant return in article form....

--------------------




Hey, folks. SinSynn here.

Our 'hobby' - this strange, amorphous, all-encompassing thing we do...'Tis an odd beastie, it 'tis.
The hobby isn't just some random thing we do when we're not working or touching ourselves in an impure manner. It's a lifestyle. It's a whole crazy thing.

*Air quotes always help*

When I say 'the hobby,' I mean like, all of it.
From cosplay to waifus. From hotels packed with feverish gamers getting their Con on (and all the fiendish debauchery that accompanies it) to the 10 year old kid who crushes you at Call of Duty. We're all vaguely connected, thanks to the hobby. The CoD 'MLG Pro' kid might brush elbows with the Cosplay expert on some random website somewhere, click a random linky and be exposed to some new element of the hobby and have their lives changed forever.
The hobby does that to peoples. We tend to dive willingly down rabbit holes.

There aren't a lot of things in this world that'll make me go all Homer Simpson drooly and say stuffs like, 'This is the greatest thing ever in dis world,' but I'll be darned if the hobby hasn't provided me with oh-so-many of those moments.
For every 'ohmygawd' moment, there's a few hours of equally important yet completely different moments spent in quiet contemplation...maybe assembling and painting figs for whatever minigame I'm wrapped up in at the moment. Maybe there's a podcast goin' in the earbuds, maybe I'm listening to Satan music, I dunno.
Regardless, those moments spent in serene, blissful, uncomplicated quiet time are ever so satisfying. There's something strangely therapeutic about sitting down at one's 'Hobby Area,' whether one is limited to a tray that hasta be stored on a top shelf somewhere cuz lil' kids run rampant or one has achieved the Ultimate Dream - a 'den' is what they're often called, but some folks might try to disguise their true purpose by calling them an 'office' or somesuch.
You can't get away with calling it a guest bedroom unless you can somehow convince visitors to sleep on a game table. They can use a large hill terrain piece as a pillow, amirite?
Seems totes legit.

*Hey, man. Can I get a gaming mat as a blanket, maybe?'
Pfft. Crybaby*

'Well gosh, SinSynn,' you might be thinking, 'the title mentions quitting. Why for would you wanna quit this magical thingy?'
Sigh.
I don't think its entirely possible to like, completely separate from the hobby. Besides the friends who will undoubtedly attempt to hoodwink or bamboozle you into returning, often by their mere existence (curse their eyes), the temptations are legion.
Worse still,you will suddenly find yourself with entirely too much time on your tentacles. Despite the fact that if you're anything like me, you: A) Have very impressive tentacles (Terran females, you maybe wanna jot that down. Just sayin.'), and: B) Managed to complain about the lack of quality gaming time you were allotted constantly, cuz stoopid responsibilities an' whatnot.
When you're no longer spending time at your Hobby Area, you'll be surprised at the amount of hours you actually managed to sequester yourself there. Safe and comfy and cozy and away from the awful, terrible world and its...responsibilities...and whatnots...
Stoopid...whatnots.
-_-

*I haz no idea how you Terrans deal with only having two of those awkward 'Hands' thingies*

Oh, sorry...what was I talkin' 'bout?
Tentacles. Right.
No, wait.
...
Too much free time. Got it.
This very concept is inconceivable to many people; working Terran parents with a clutch of larvae, by way of a for instance. Any spare time you manage to stumble across will likely be immediately filled with both responsibilities and whatnots.
If you ever do quit minigaming, or videogaming, or cosplay, or Dungeons and Dragons, or whatever particular, peculiar branch of the hobby you're into, ideally you'd like to take that precious free time and apply it to...something else, amirite?
For me, this just resulted in a return to videogaming in force, both on PC where World of Tanks was my preferred poison, and the consoles, where I was grabbed by the boo-boo and pulled headlong into the expertly crafted Gothic Horror/Action of Bloodborne and the Dark Souls series by From Software.
It's hard to classify that kinda thing as 'quitting the hobby,' I suppose. More like sidestepping.

Fer sure I was swearing up 'n' down that I wasn't gonna touch a mini ever again for like, a hot minute.
Ya gotta realize that for someone coming from a videogame background, the way minigame companies handle their franchises seems absolutely retarded and bordered on traumatizing.
Watching what Games Workshop did to 40k was practically physically painful to watch. Same with Battlefront's Flames of War (late war).
Battlefront decided that they needed to start selling moar Americans. Nobody played Americans. Since Battlefront has a fully-supported tournament circuit, and is very much a 'what's the latest OP List' type of game because of this, how do you think Battlefront went about selling moar Americans?
If you guessed 'introduce a ridiculously powerful unit, and then let folks build entire Armies around that unit,' then kudos to you, friend.
You've likely seen this pay to win kinda tactic employed by game companies of all stripes before, if you've spent any length of time in this hobby, sadly. When I saw the same Army List take like, 7 of the top 10 spots at the FoW Late War Nationals, I was content to toss my FoW armies in the closet.

*The American Tank Destroyer Platoon. They'll have 4 tanks, and the lil' scout vehicles will get pulled off the board and replaced with the TD's, who have a lovely 8 inches to deploy within. Then they get to shoot normally. They immediately wipe out an enemy tank platoon upon arrival. Gawd I hate them SO MUCH!*

Then two things happened around the same time - Infinity Version 3 released, and nerfed my Shas'vastii All-Camo Army so badly that the List was not just bad, but was now incredibly frustrating to run thanks to the ridiculous amount of Face to Face rolls you'd end up having to contend with.
T'was a sad day at The Project Xeno Death Camps that day, I gotta tell ya.
I was mad salty 'bout it, of course, and there might've been some butthurt sh*tposting.
Don't you judge me!
I was vexed, I tells ya.
Ah, waddayagonnado?
That's the minigaming gig in a nutshell - Each game has it's top tier armies, and then there's everybody else, and when sales start dipping it's time for a shakeup. That shakeup might mean your army army disappears from the game altogether, fer cryin' out loud.
If yer lucky you get da Nerfbat.
Blah, I say.

The second thing that happened was that my current Good Time Gaming Buddy Nascar (I live in the Bronx, NYC. Nobody uses their real name here. We all have dumb nicknames *shrug*) got hisself a fancy new girlfriend, and he disappeared as guys with fancy new girlfriends sometimes do. You can't get mad about this kinda thing; iz just life,
However, Like I said, I live in the Bronx, NYC. No one 'hobbies' here. you're better off trying to find likely candidates and corrupt them, if you want gaming partners, actually.

So that was it for me, at that moment in time. Clearly, the Dice Gods were angry with me, and I was being driven from Eden.
So, then...what made me come back?
Well, the aforementioned railroading, hoodwinking, bamboozling friends, for one. The Ultimate Rival introduced me to Battlefront's new-ish Team Tankee game, which features Cold War Era vehicles, including American Abrahms tanks...and those are awesome.
My initial misgivings about the game all proved true - the 15mm models are waaaaay to big for the 6x4 foot table. These more modern vehicles have fire ranges that are just insane. Why Battlefront didn't go with 10mm scale for this game is baffling. That would've allowed for more models, more potential for maneuver and all the good stuffs that comes with it.
As it stands now - the forces just line up and it basically comes down to a dice RNG game. The person with the better dice will always win. Tactics will rarely play a part in it since tanks can blast each other straight away from turn one.
Games never make it past turn 4, and a game that goes all the way to turn 6 is considered a 'Unicorn,' but whatevs. The models look cool and it's an excuse to hang out with a friend..all the while avoiding both responsibilities and whatnots.
:)

*Believe me when I tell you that these things are bigger than three Stugs from Late War FoW, but since it's that much larger, it'll actually be visible from more than two feet way so it'll be worth putting a cool paintjob on*

So I'm gonna build a lil' Team Yankee Army to play with the Ultimate Rival. The good news is that I can do something wacky with the paint jobs fer my 'Mericans, since I have little interest in 'historically accurate' paintjobs when these tanks are just crying out for a more Xeno - Styled paint job than yer conventional 'olive drab' with some wash on'em, I dunno...but I'll prolly...Nope, check that.
Imma definitely gonna do something off-the-wall, I think.
Zebra Tiger Stripes a lil' too much maybe?
:D

On the flip side, Nascar and the fancy girl are history, so he's available for gaming again, I believe.
Not sure what game we'll be playing. We were dabbling in a few,..

And then, my most horribly masochistic minigaming weakness of all is raising it's ugly head again in the form of the desire, nay- desperate need to build at least one 40k Dream Army before I die.
Grrrr...Imma do this, so help me.

I need to say this:
Those Horus Heresy 40k Black Library books, man...They're really to blame for my whole inability to get out from under all this madness. I'll admit something, and I swear I better not receive any judgement for it: The 40k Universe is my favorite sci-fi or fantasy Universe ever. I've read dozens and dozens of those books, man. I know so much about that universe, man, so it wasn't like I was gonna stop reading 40k books now, was it?
Sure, maybe subliminally setting myself up for failure, but whatevs. sad as it may be to admit, I am never not reading a 40k book nowadays.

*Do want. That I can spell Aaron Dembski-Bowden without having to check the spelling should tell you that  I'm a lil' bit of a gushing fanboi...YOU DON'T JUDGE ME!*

So you see, it's gonna be pretty hard for the average hobbyist to escape.
I broke down, and here I am. I iz weak. I haz shame.
But not too much. I missed this. I really, honestly, truly did.
Gettin' ready to dig up those dusty boxes filled with paints and half assembled models, figure out where I'm at, what my priorities are, where I wanna jump back in, etc.
So, I'll be back to droolin' over some new kit coming out, or the latest Dark Souls cosplay. I'll be spending the odd, quiet evening alternating between cursing and cheering my own minor successes when I'm assembling figs.

*An example of Dark Souls cosplay. This is Knight Artorius, the Abyss Walker...his story doesn't end well, but hey - that's Dark Souls for ya*

Maybe I'll have a podcast goin' in the earbuds, maybe there's Satan music, I dunno.
But I'm pretty sure I'll be grinning an overly toothy Xenos grin as I plot on a ridiculous paintjob for those big-ass Abrams tanks.
:D

Hope to see you in the next one, folks. This should be quite the comedy of errors, as I learn to do everything all over again,and I'm a clumsy oaf at the best of times.
Feel free to share your own 'quitting' stories below.
I'd never judge you.
;)

Until next time, folks...
I, uh...gotta come up with a new catchprase.
Suggestions welcome, cuz why not?

- SinSynn

Saturday, 17 January 2015

A Citizen_W Guest Article - RPG Character Creation

Here's another article on RPG's by Citizen_W. This time he's giving us a general guide to character creation so you don't all end up playing the same person you always do...


There are thousands of RPG’s in the world (literally) from the rule heavy volume of giants tomes to indie press productions of a few dice rolls that are more like group storytelling. However they all have one thing in common, you will need a character.

Character creation is one of my favourite parts of RPing as a PC (Player character) I often create 4 or 5 and flit between them for weeks before we begin. However some people really struggle with the idea of forging the ideas they have in their head into a usable character or can’t think of something they’d like to role-play.

I've come up with a few tips for creating fleshed out PC’s that will give you more enjoyment to play and assist your GM.

1) Be Original

Okay this ones a weird one and a bit of a personal bugbear (which are also bugbears to me). Too many campaigns I've played in have the mysterious stranger who’s dressed in black with a long coat wielding a Katana in a western setting seething silently in the corner. It’s been done guys, and it's really hard for the other players to know how to interact with this loner in a group setting and difficult for a GM to include this maverick loner into a group.

You all meet in a tavern, and as you leave this silent bad-ass leaves with you”. 


Leather trench-coats are standard issue...didn't you know?

Obviously taking a few inspirations from favourite characters, comics, games etc is a great way to stoke your imagination but just playing a carbon copy of Master Chief is dull and the kind of character you often find is abandoned quickest.


Editors Note - 'Inspired by' is always going to happen as we all have our favourite characters from all kinds of media but as a player of Vampire the Masquerade for many years I lost count of the amount of the above mentioned 'Katana wielding, leather trench-coat guy (and girl) that seemed to be everywhere...The Matrix movies have a lot to answer for in that area...

2) It’s Okay to Suck


A level one character is essentially as capable as a normal person with a bit of specialist knowledge. Essentially as I write this I am a level one human with skill points in Comics, Nerdery and Sarcasm, I am not equipped in anyway to take on a level 40 Dragon (or to continue the metaphor Joss Whedon) and I'm okay with this. The biggest reason I find players dislike role-play is they expected to be back-flipping and flinging a thousand shurikens at a horde of skeletons and basking in the adulation of the town.

Editors Note - My current Through the Breach character is illiterate and has skills in Throwing Weapons and Shotgun despite the fact that the stat that controls them is actually his worst one...I've also played a cowardly Arbite in Dark Heresy, an insane Tech-Marine in Deathwatch and a Gangrel with both multiple personality disorder and an addiction to draining other vampires to death in Vampire the Masquerade...

3) Backstory


When I've got a vague idea in my head of who I want to RP I sit and scribble out a couple of paragraphs about why they exist and their recent history (Some RPG’s actually have this built into character creation) I then give a copy to the GM with my character sheet and also to the other players just so they have a better idea of why I'm reacting how I am and how best to approach the character.


Editors Note - I'm a bit hit or miss in this area so my characters back-stories tend to develop via random crap I make up during in character conversations...though my Dark Heresy characters background came about when all the other players presumed he'd done something hideous to some poor innocent woman and their idea was actually more interesting than I had come up with myself, lol.

4) GM Approval
Okay so you want to be a pirate who’s okay with a sword but you've decided you’re of Chinese descent and you want some Kung-Fu skills, you check the rulebook and find pirates only get cutlass and pistol skills. Well shit son you’re stuffed. Or are you? 




Why not approach the GM and skill swap. Pistol becomes Wu-Shu and cutlass becomes Tai-Chi sword. Easily done, it also puts you at the negative of having no range (when I GM I love players who have an exploitable weakness).

Too many people are overly rigid with the books classes and skills, once you are comfortable with the rules it's not too hard to add a few skills.


Editors Note - This takes some getting used to if you're from a miniature wargames background where the rules are set. RPG's are a bit different...

5) Flaws


One of my favourite systems for character creation is the Serenity system. It’s a little clunky on rules and uses an odd dice system but for character skills it lets you be as badass as you want, as long as you take an equal amount of flaws. 

Want to be a Clint Eastwood level gun-slinger, fine but you will have a crippling addiction to booze, a limp and probably herpes. While not every system has a way to add negatives, putting in an addiction or other flaw really fleshes a character out and makes them feel like a person.


Editors Note - If you're a GM it's worth noting that some 'Min-Maxer' players will take flaws (Mins) that don't really cause them problems comparable to the benefits (the Max's)...as a side-note it's okay to be really mean to those sort of people...

6) Plan Your Level-ups




This isn't always possible as a campaign rolls on your priorities may change but it's still  good idea to note down your ideal upgrades and level rewards so you know what you’re aiming for and to allow or GM approval (For instance I only let a character upgrade skills they've actually used in some way). 


Editors Note - I'm quite notorious for planning every step of my characters development (from a mechanical point of view at least) though am occasionally foiled by environmental factors such as a sudden and unexplained lack of knives everywhere we go or that time when my Tech-Marine caught the Obliterator virus and kept absorbing his Storm Bolter...

Also the level of upgrade being given should be equivalent to the learning experience as once you've got the hang of killing a generic zombie with your sword then I doubt you learn much more by killing the hundredth and sharpening your pencil does not count towards your final level in Melee...no...it doesn't...

7) Have Fun


While obviously the point of an RPG I’ve experienced plenty of players who just weren't enjoying themselves. This is partly a GM issue that may mean your campaign sucks but as a player if your character really isn't working talk to the GM and make a new one, your old character could die in a blaze of glory that will be a great story for the other players and some of the most fun for you (my Chaplain characters death in Deathwatch was one of my favourite things to roleplay).

To finished I’d like to talk about experienced role-players and keeping it all fresh. My biggest tip for that is play something unexpected. In out very male dominated group I often role-play a woman, partly for the challenge and partly for party balance in social interactions.

Another great way to freshen things up is to let the GM or a fellow player create your character and then play the role they’ve set out for you. This isn’t for everyone but gives a really interesting challenge (unless the person designing it has been an absolute dick).

Well I hope you enjoyed this article and found the tips helpful, I’m sure you’ll see me loitering around here again if GMort invites me. 


Editors Note - He's invited any-time he wants...

Thoughts and comments are (as usual) most welcome.
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