The trouble with love is.......... part 2

Okay let's continue (am trying hard to compose what I want to share in this one... bleh)

So... the episode with Mr. X-Crush at my working place is over... Although am terribly missed him.... sniff... sniff.... The search for Mr. Right still goes on.... I realize that I'm now 27th.. and I'd unconsciously developed a new habit for not going to "friends kenduri kahwin" because I know I have nobody to accompanied me and most of the time other peers start to ask me a pretty noble questions..

"Wei.... engko bila lagi.... jangan tunggu lelama le..... nak tgk jugak laki ngan anak ko... best woo kahwin... rugi... rugi"

Okay.... it's something like that... repeating all over again *sigh*

I thank God it's not my parents (or the whole family exclude the older relatives) that did uttering such a heart wrenching words. My parents are my biggest supporter so far by just saying... go for what you believes in .. and make more money (we want your money) ;p

You make me feel like you're gonna die soon and hope that you could see my husband and child before you're gone.... If I die before getting married pun what's the fuss?... I've got lot's of debts need to be paid and unless I'll getting married to a millionaire and he wants to pay all my bills then okay....

But then, I will not put a rich man as my top priority for a man in my life.... judging from my previous liking over the man that I did have my eyes on.... most of them are just an ordinary guys that has wiser thoughts (oh maybe... they are.. darn) .....and some physical criteria that my only heart knows to judge, what can I tell you, most of them has a pair au naturale Hazel color eyes *drools*..... I couldn't list it by my own... "God did"

and it's not someone like;


Aaron Aziz..... em no



Fahrin Ahmad..... no no....



Ashraf Muslim..... no no....



Anuar Zain....... oh no!!!!



or



Justin Bieber (what do you think ??)



etc... etc....



(There you go... I don't like your kind of man.... I like Daniel Craig ... no point to fuss on what I like hehehehehe ;p)


But then again wherever a man did come and get close to me... I'd nearly become vulnerable, and I pathetically thought, "if he's the one for me" every single day. Sometimes I'd failed to hide the true feelings of myself towards them (am no hypocrite... because I'm a desperate single... darn) and my friends do noticed it. I get upset and angry over myself for being too honest and be truth about myself.

Unfortunately all of them walked away... because, they not consider me as special as their good friend and they befriend me for sake of their own benefits (cerita lain). I can conclude that they found me are not attractive towards their eyes or better say... "desires"... Who am I to judge them anyway? everyone likes beautiful things.. it's only me to accept the uglier truth about me and everybody else.

Some people gives me a comfort words... by saying that,

there will be a man that meant for me... just be patient *umm where's the tasbih...*

some of them ask me to not to wait, we must search them

"how the heck I know who... I did search but no luck"..

In religious purpose... the women must keep their modesty and if she likes someone, she can assigned someone to do the proposal (indirect wali) to the guy she like... and some rants I'd read tells, if we likes someone.... it's better to like him secretly... pendam perasaan itu (it's a religious rant.. I'd forgot the blog link). So I have to pendam my perasaan just to make sure if he likes me or not... It might goes on for years, I might committed suicide...

and

God aren't that cruel you know.... God wants us to be brave, outspoken and speaks on our mind.. upppsss... *I should control my feminism modesty-ala gadis-gadis berkimono jepun bukan utk hentai purpose.... uuupppsss... and I can't be a gadis melayu terakhir because I tak pandai pakai kain batik.. tak pandai duduk simpuh... tak pandai gelak sopan, I know masak western food only upppsss*

No wonder friends called me a "difficult person"..... you know why I keep striking some sentences in this post.. because am difficult to be outspoken... oppsss!!!


I wonder why some so-called religious blog didn't rant something that cheered the depression single like me... why make a religious post that more to depress people like me.

Come on.... you makes us feel burden about it... because I believe it's God that decide our future... and at the same time I have find them for sake of not marrying in a later age *sigh*. It's hard to be a women.. I know, kahwin awal salah... kahwin lambat salah.... tak kahwin lagi salah.... bercerai pun salah.... some of our Malay societies (am not biased, but it's true apparently) can't be satisfied with their own life and start dissing other's life to make themselves better. Please, please don't tarnish the good name of Islam... Some "singles" did consult the Ustaz asking about their jodoh. I didn't found something wrong with that, I'll consult Ustaz/Uztazah if the time is right for me to do so... usaha tangga kejayaan, Insyallah kata aku dan mereka juga :)

Feels desperate as a single is normal, natural, common and anything you can relates to.....

to get married is easy maybe...

to live with the spouse is not easy... and I'm scared of that...

(to make it worse... with the Obedient Wives Club factor... automatically I got an extreme fear factor now ..... it's just not right, people dissed the ex-rated show but then want to teach a wife how to become good in bed as 1st class prostitutes ... jeezzz)

To enlighten my current status... I did befriends with someone *smile*... but I guarantee you that 95% of my assumptions tells that; he'll leaves me and the other 5% he found me as the one that could accompanied him for the rest of the life, as his forever best-friends and wants to marry me because he loves me. So I don't have a big hope to be in love and get married any sooner.

If he wants me to joined the Obedient Wife Club.... Sorry honey, I can be someone you can trust for a lifetime but not as good as 1st class prostitutes... I patah pinggang already... I cannot do lion dancing.. or poll dancing to you.... hahahahhaha!

Maybe the raunchy I can be is.......

Thou' shalt always acted as 1st class virgin like these;



Or these........

Being 25th and few weeks before.... (18sx)

Hello, all :)

Sorry for not able to keep up with my own blog as my new daily schedule had changed drastically *wink*. Some thought I'm sulking over a "love tragic" moment (refer my previous post).

Here's the thing. I feel embarrass from now on!!!!. Unfortunately that the guy that I'd my crush on is NOT working on the same area !!!! I'd googled to find some information about him and yes it's confirmed... he's NOT working in my area. So kanine-cau-cibai kan ? I'd accidentally made a false recognition about him and sickening myself over a few weeks huhuhu !!!I have a good laugh about it. Silly silly me....

Anyway, I couldn't tell how strong my crush on him. It's coincidental. He looks charming, down to earth and has the sweetest smile I've ever seen. It's my mistake not to pay attention over the ice breaking session when each participant needs to describe themselves (not forgetting to tell their marriage status). That time, I'm still "not" have an eye on him. Oh well, talk about short-term memory loss... eh. A crush remains a crush ;p.

In my life, I'm surrounded with guys. Few weeks ago, I bring one of my guy friends to my best friends wedding and mom thinks I'm having a serious relationship with him. That's the moment my eyebrows raised. Feeling disbelief katanyeee, sabo jelah !!!.

Yesterday I'd turned to 25 years old. Many people thoughts that it's an exciting moment to be 25th. For me, it is a burden. I'm still on my baby steps to find my own life. Seriously I don't have the chance to enjoy the world that has been offered. I've done my responsibilities to get a higher education (Diploma's and Degree's) cert in 5 years. I think I need to further my studies because I love knowledge.

While I'm looking at my parents, I've questioned myself if I could give back what they had given me or do they feels happy of what I'd done to them?. I have a little time to complain about how dysfunctional my life is nor can tell how screwed my life is. God had planned to let me stay single for and I understand why.

I would like to wish Selamat Pengantin Baru to all my newlywed's friend and readers. Semoga berbahagia hendaknya sehingga ke akhir hayat kalian.

Sister asked me how old I am... and when I say 25th;-

"Oh.... aku dah setahun berkahwin masa tue *wink*,"

Motif besar sungguh ayat dia tau .. sabo jela ;p


Oh.. talk about newlyweds, I'd tried calling my BFF few days after her wedding.. just to say Hi (oh.. you know what an HI means to the newlyweds)... aku tak tanya pun pasal first experience dia ;p But surprisingly she SMS me this



Aku dah buat mlm td ngn hubby aku.. pedih tp nikmat! sampai menggigil pala lutut aku.. haha



I'd reply this:-



Bukan ke ada orang itu nak jerit satu Penang pasal takut sangat kena defloration ;p



then she replied:-

Tang itu mau aku tak jerit nyah.... yang siotnya jeritan aku tu lg wat laki aku ghairah n laju je bkerja! haha


Hahahahahhahahaha........bengong

Hadoih.... penat haku gelak. I couldn't help it with her "haha's" . Dulu bukan main punya takut dia pasal defloration sampai I've to give my piece on mind on how memorable the first sex is (walaupun kamu semua tahu aku masih single ;p). I did give some few knowledge about sex educations to her (No! I'm not pervert okeh !!!).

Sekarang dia sudah senang dikerjakan ..hahahahahaha merk nak larik ke Bahamas dulu !!!!!

The night we kill the J**

Warning: This post contains unsuitable sexuality and religious content for readers below 21st years old. Please leave this blog immediately for sake of your path of righteousness.. muhahahha

Patutnya i prefer post this on Thursday night, unfortunately.... line internet terganggu jek... takpe lah post jelah hari nie...

Alright people, malam Jumaat adalah malam yang baik untuk beribadah, tapi apa yang anda selalu buat pada malam Jumaat? Baca Yassin, sembahyang sunat, dengar ceramah kat TV atau buat dunno je ?. Tapi kan, mostly married couple (terutama suami) mesti tertunggu-tunggu malam yang istimewa nie... bak tunggu pengumuman raya. Sampai kadang2 isteri-isteri di luar sana kadang2 takut melalui "solemnization" istimewa nie.. muhahaha !

Yeah, you'd read my mind...it is about Married couples having sex on thursday night.

Aku tanya kawan aku, why couples mostly wait to have sex on thursday night ?... Kenapa tidak pada malam2 lain... ape ganjarannyee??

My friend look me with disbelief, nak kata budak nie naive... tak mungkin.... nak kata budak nie expert agama... pun tidak.... mungkin terlebih tgk porn agaknye ...


"Orang cakap, jika mengadakan hubungan seks pada malam Jumaat.. ganjaran pahalanya ibarat membunuh syaitan. Ada yang cakap... ibarat membunuh seorang Yahudi !"


Wow !!! patutla ramai tergila-gila sgt. yang buat.

Aku teringat keluhan dari our Boss...


"Ada staff nie, setiap minggu mintak cuti hari Jumaat. Saya tak bagi pun dia tetap cuti jugak,"


Kalaule aku tgh. minum air time Boss buat keluhan tue.. dah tersembur keluar air dari mulut aku....tak mungkin staff tue ada komitmen besar selain kerja di pagi Jumaat. Boss nie, takkan buat2 tak faham kut......Dia tue mestilah penat kena belasah ngan laki dia time malam jumaat.

Dah terlanjur cerita pasal seks nie...... meh aku cerita tentang perkara2 hangat yang menjadi perbincangan orang2 sekeliling aku.

Dah ramai kengkawan aku sudah pun melangsungkan perkahwinan few months ago.... tapi yang aku heran masuk bulan kedua kahwin, dah pregnant... aduii "bunting pelamin" kah kalian semua? Ape-ape pun tahniah aku ucapkan kat you all. Aku lihat situasi nie sedikit menakutkan buat aku... hebat betul baru sebulan kahwin dah pregnant. Memang berusaha kuat nak anak ke atau accidentally pregnant ?. Aku mengagak.. newlyweds tentu syok dok hanky-panky hampir setiap hari. Ada yang malang kena tibai 5 round satu kali agaknya. Imaginasi aku terbantut bila kawan aku menceritakan aku satu kisah yang dia baca dari surat khabar.

"Aku ada baca paper hari tue, suami mengeluh dia tak dapat deflorate bini dia. Almost 6 years benda nie berlaku (aku masih respek laki dia sebab masih mempertahankan perkahwinan dia)... aku heran, sakit sgt. ke benda nie sampai trauma 6 tahun. Atau, laki dia yang tak pandai nak excite bini dia."

Aku bersetuju bila kawan aku mengatakan most husband tak pandai excite bini untuk melakukan seks. Maaf, aku tak prejudis. Tapi agaknya para suami nie terkam bini macam harimau sampai bini beku macam ais batu. Kita pun jadi beku bila terserempak ngan harimau yang dengan senang hatinya nak terkam kita. Sedihnya certain lelaki tak tau apa itu "foreplay". Tanpa kita sedar.. kita "mengiyakan" teori Darwin.. manusia asalnya dari MONYET. Iyelah otak ingat nak sodok je.. lantaklah apa bini fikir. Janji air dah keluar. Betulkan????

Shit.... kalau dapat lelaki macam nie... he wasn't man enough for me lah beb.... shoo.. shoo....

Kawan aku sambung lagik....

"Ada juga kisah aku dengar yang seorang isteri nak minta cerai dengan suami pasal takut sangat kena deflorate pasal tengok panjang penis laki dia. Macam ULAR kata dia !!!"


Boleh tahan jugak laser perempuan ni.... kesian lelaki kena "blame" penis panjang bak ular. Apa diorang nie lelaki nie kuda ke sampai penis panjang macam tue?. Tu lah.,mimpi nak sangat ular patuk kat kaki. Tut tut... dapat laki dia punya anu pun macam "ular" Kah kah kah kah.!!!! Kang kalau dapat penis pendek, nak mintak cerai pasal pendek macam ulat beluncas. Tak ke naya lelaki sekali lagi ?...

Officemate aku cerita pulak tentang kawannya ada defloration problem oleh lakinya sampai terkeluar soalan yang tak masuk akal. Lebih kurang cengginilah dialog dia:-

Husband: "Awak pernah jogging ke?"
Wife: "Adalah sikit2 dulu"

Husband: "Awak pernah naik basikal ?"
Wife: "Selaluuu"

Husband: "Tapi, apesal susah sangat nak pecah dara awak nie ?"
Wife: <--- Korang fikirlah apa yang dia patut cakap..


Ape kaitan jogging dengan defloration ? ape kaitan basikal ngan defloration ?... ko ingat perempuan suka "grinding" atas seat basikal macam video klip Flo Rida - Low ke oiiii ???!!!

Kang kalo dapat bini terbarai pasal accidentally deflorate atas basikal, ko kate bini ko betina sundal pulak.. macamana tue????

Berbalik pada isu seks malam Jumaat. Aku fikir pahala ibarat membunuh Yahudi hanya boleh "dapat" kalau dua-dua seronok melakukannya. Kalau setakat lelaki je seronok.. jangankan syaitan.. setengah "yahudi" belum tentu dapat. Memangle... isteri patut bagi apa yang suami mintak... tapi isteri akan lagi seronok bagi bila husband melakukannya dengan penuh kasih sayang.. cukup "foreplay" katanyeee !!!!! Gerenti isteri anda pun ada hidden talent yang anda tak tau. Give them some affection will you???? Allah tentu memberkati usaha anda wahai kaum2 lelaki.

Tapi, lelaki selalu komplen... wanita tak cukup pelincir... Hello?.. have you heard LKY jelly?... bukan Lee Kuan Yew jelly ye class!... tapi KY jelly... with motto Keep Live Sexy tue??? jangan malu-malu nak guna yang itu..... susah nak dapat?.. guna jenama Durex pun boleh.. larikkk !!!!

I think this time we must stop for being too naive about sex. Paling aku heran sekali... pasangan yg belum kahwin bukan main hebat skill diorang, ter"hangkat" sana sini... tapi yang dah kahwin nie lain pulak jadinya. Hebat sangat kut open sex before marriage, syaitan kasi otak syok semacam :p. After marriage, syaitan dan "mati". Kenapa ye?.. syaitan dah kena "bunuh" terus bosan ekk.. larikkk !!!!!! Don't stop experimenting... keep on coming okay.

I remember one joke.. lately..



One faithful thursday night...

1st round

Wife: Bang.. jom kita bunuh satu Yahudi
Husband: Jom yang

2nd round

Wife: Bang, jom kita bunuh satu lagi Yahudi
Husband: Jom lagik..

3 round

Wife: Bang jom kita bun......
Husband: Abang yang terbunuh lepas nie...


p/s: Yes, the author is not married yet... and not a naive thinker. But, can't she be open like this? Next few years you might need "women" like her... seriously ;p

The Curse of UTI

* UTI stands for Urinary Tract Infection / Inflammation is one of common infection occurred in women above 18 years old. It is caused by two common parasite which is knowns as Escherichia coli (Normal flora parasite) and E. faecalis . Each and every single women might experience UTI at least once in a lifetime.



Yup.... I'm now certified as UTI victim (which I'd never expected to get it) for the first time in my life. Thanks to my strong memories of Microbiology's pathogenesis while studying in BioMedicine and MLT . I'd seek for the medical help immediately after I'd noticed a few early symptom.

The symptom occurs faster than I thought and I'm not sure when, where and what had caused UTI in me. Of course I'm a clean darling's, but mostly it's NOT because of your "habits" that gives contribution to Mr. happy-go-lucky E. coli to reside your ureter/bladder/urethra/kidney (which they aren't supposed to be there) .

I suspect that the toilet seat in my lab office is severely decontaminated !!!! ( Mr. Arvind.. don't laugh)... The toilet is pretty squeaky clean i tell you. But I have a strong urge to blame the "innocent" toilet bowl because the lab toilet always invaded by the unexpected user. I mean.. unexpected (non staff). The evidence is.. the toilet bowl is not as clean after I'd use and clean it.

The symptoms is spreading fast in me (two days), and it's impossible for the infection caused by my background (pretty innocent gal *wink*). Kalau ye pun.. it may takes few weeks for the parasite to adapt themselves in me because my antibody is pretty strong. The symptoms is too intense and I'd experienced hematuria (blood in urine) on the second day. It's bloody painful and I immediately rush to the specialist clinic in Shah Alam ss 13 for urine test...

and the results.................. (using dipstick test)


Pus / Leukocyte = 2+

(Indicates that there is an infection going on and leukocyte "was there" to fight the germs)

Blood cell = 2+

(Indicates that the parasite had causes cell wall inflammation which resulting cell wall injuries)


-_____-"


As expected, the results shows that I'm truly victim of UTI. Not so severe because I'd seek for the medical test and treatment on the early UTI stages. Terbang RM 70 okeh!!!!!

I tell you..... UTI is damn fucking painful, especially when you try to urinating. You can feel the ureter muscle "constricted" after urinating and I fell like getting "shocked" from an electric jolt. That shocking feeling thingy happens because of the urine that been accumulated in bladder is too acidic and leads to the "acidic wrath" in the inflammation ureter when urinating (normal ureter will not cause this symptoms).

Then tak pasal2 I begin to feel the abdominal pain. *Ouch*


Habislah plan nak celebrate birthday aku Ahad nie.... huuuuuuuuuuuu !!!!!!!!!!!!


p/s: Remind me to buy a huge Dettol concentration this end of the month. I'll have an important mission to disinfect the toilet bowl !!!

The blessing rain is falling down.....

Hello peeps.. let's go hardcorish ROJAK this time.... if you find this posting is ultimately disturbing (especially for language's perfectionist) you may leave this site immediately.

Supposedly I want to write another stuff.. which I can promise you that the posting's will be interesting and suitable "18sx qualified" reader only LOL ... But apparently this time I need to write some new updates (which mostly can be labeled in 18PL) of what had happened to my previous work scene's before I'm working in UNISEL.

No..no... I'm not gonna write melancholies thing. Because I know you'd missed my "Hitler-ism" and this time I'm showing my true color in writings.

I'd leave my previous job for about 4 weeks now. I feel "free" even though my boss thinks I'm just on "an exam holiday". I think this time he assume that I'm really quitting the job... no need to do 24hrs notice one. I simply flee out from it and tossed my friend to continue my job.

My friend keep SMSing me while I'm away. She tell me that she can't do double job in the company (if you read my previous job.. you'll get the point). Yesterday, she tell me that she had RESIGNED. Cannot "tahan" working there. They treat her like a slave and takde waktu rehat.

Of course lah I gembira she'd resigned. She'll get killed if she stay in the company a bit longer time. Because I'd sensed that my ex-Boss had "kencing" her and she said my ex-Boss always scolded her. I don't understand why he's doing that to her. Because time aku masih kerja kat situ.. he seems "nice".

I suspect he'd changed when I'd leave him. No more "porn" talk buddies in there. As a daily consumer of VIAGRA, it's not a surprise thing if he become like ;-

THIS !!!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Gua told him already to stop consume VIAGRA. Because it will makes his emotion buffered uncontrolled. He don't want to listen. Dia punya kapla itu batu ada dalam duduk!!!!!. He's too fascinated with a sentences that written "male enhancement procedures". He thinks VIAGRA will help him to boost his "manhood". I was Like

DUH?

He is in his late 50s pun still got nafsu to spank other girls ke ??? (yes he still spank other girls after married). But now I know this man nearly suffer "erectile dysfunction" and he cannot accept the fact that he's losing his manhood and decides to consume Viagra. He's openly tell me that he's not satisfied with his 7 inches dick and he's currently doing enlargement to his dick with dick's pump. He even had asked me if I know some contact that selling a Penis enlargement pills. Because he want to get the result very fast one. Another horror thing is he'd asked me to find him a girl that willing to give him blow job. Nak mampus ke hape ????

*Sigh*... my ex-Boss is one of the horridness Dick head I'd meet in my life. His mission is to become lovable sex machine to all girls. He thinks he is the next Rocco Siffredi woh !!!!.

He gives me headache for a long-long time lah. I wonder why he tell me all of that ? Like I'd written before... I'd lost my respect on him... So I decide to resign from the job drastically . I think God is happy over my bold decision. He'd blessed me by giving a blessing rain.

I'd apologized my friend by nearly making her life misery in there. It's not because of porno things. But it's because my ex-Boss gives unfair treatment to her. He expect that she'll good as me. I think he's not understand the fact he should teach her more than he did it to me. He cannot assume that she is "me".

I'd learn something from my previous job. A boss sometimes say something "nice" to you so you can automatically attracted to his honesty, and you be an obedient person to listen/share his pleasures and you will feel disbelief if you'd found out that he is actually a real fucking JERK.

Why I'm telling this? because my friend had tell me that my ex-Boss is "disgust" of me by telling her that I'm actually a lousy P.A. Tak pandai buat kerja. He feels regret after hiring me because he'd found a better candidate before me. But he feel pity because he said "I'm desperate to look for a money". I was like.......

That bastard is trying to messing me up..... What the fuck !!!! Dia tak ikhlas ke bagi kerja kat aku ??? I'd worked hard for him for two months which apparently the longest period of a P.A that had worked for him. I feel surprise by that. One of the staff had "leaked a valuable" information to my friends by saying that I'm the one yg kerja paling lama as my ex-Boss P.A because previously all P.As only survive around one to three weeks only. I'd worked for him for more than 2 months. That staff also admits that he is the one that lousy, fucked up, bastard and never care his staff. He'd cheats all staff also especially about salaries.

I'm confident that he wants to hide all his weakness by acting/show off to everybody that he's the guy with infinitive knowledge, can talk about anything and what he say is always right and he thinks he deserve to get a higher honor. He is a bastard with a his ideology mission. I think he tried to tell my friend that the reason I'm leaving is because I'm no match to become his P.A and he say I'm a low-class medicine student and he stress to her that all university student are nothing compares to him. What a noob !

Just because I'd leave drastically and no more sexual conversation, makes him decide to mess me up. I'm not a cheap girl. He should feel ashame of what he'd done. I know I'm not a perfect worker because I'm learning from him. But as a Boss.. he should show to all his worker a good behavior and willing to teach everything because he has the knowledge. If he'd done a mistakes he should apologize but blaming others just to covered up his mistakes. Not to compare other people to him. That a bullshit !!!! Walhal he's the dirtiest person, because he's extremely addicted to porn, doing fornicating things but perjuangkan nasib orang2 Islam.

He think my friends will keep all his darn words about me. Hence, his wife also a psychotic-bitch. She also kutuk I depan my friend. What a BIG MISTAKE !!!

Now he's really trying to pissed me off. Kurang hajar, tuli, babi, hanjeng, *&&%^^$%$$.... Harap nak besarkan "batang" jer penting. I should had chopped off his cojones before and burn it with the fire torch or I should scratch his car or stab his perut buncit. Grrrrr......

I'd cursed him because he's being unfaithful to all the workers. I pity lar tengok all them. They had work for a long time.. but gaji tak pernah naik. They are extremely tired and feels the salary wasn't worth as their contributions. I think the company termakan sumpah I because my friend tells me that all staff will be resigned in March. A good riddance to a greedy and irritating boss like him. Next time tolong cermin diri sendiri. You'd disgust me and claim me as a worthless worker that you'd ever hired and now it's your turn to be a person with worthless honor.

The most surprising things happened that, my friend had brought her father to confront with my ex-Boss and express his disappointments to my ex-Boss. Of course some arguments happened there. Luckily I never bring Abah, because I confident giler that another Third World War will happens there. Abah pun actually tak suka I kerja kat sana. Now I know he has a point on why he dislikes my previous job.

The day my friend had quit her job, God blessed both of us with another His blessing rain again. People had suffered nearly 3 weeks without any rain. Two days ago remarks the incoming of blessing rain. Alhamdullilah.

I think I'm sexually knowledgeble !!!!

This article is not suitable for chidren below 18 years old. Please leave ;p

This article contains sexual article (I wonder why Deutch use this icon as Sexual rating content... LOL)

This article contains foul languages.

I'm 20 years old when i'm starting to confront a lots of sexuality questions from people around me. I don't know why. I'm not a gynacologist or sex/planned parenthood counselor to be exact. I'm just a medical laboratory student and still corny about medical terms yadda...yadda..

I admit i'd read a lots of book about sexual revolutions, disease, disease preventation, religions thoughts, kama sutra and future effects of sex. Because i find that sex is a beautiful thing. It's like a priceless art. A painter have to mastering their skills to create a "long live" masterpiece. Same as sex, you will have to practise just to master the sexual skill.

I live in a rent house with 6 girls in 2002. Three girls are students and the rest are working. One day, all of us sit together having a dinner party because all the working girls will getting married and lives somewhere else. Then suddenly the conversations getting "saucy"...

"Isskkk.... aku tak sedialah nak lalui bendalah tue first night. I don't want to get early pregnancy.... macam kena paksa jer." Mourned one of the girls.

"Eh.... sex is not only just about making babies you know. It will make your relationship become intimate. Sex is a good thing" I explain to her.

"Eh... what's good thing having sex on the first night. You will feel tired after "bersanding".. then you have to "terkangkang" on the first night. Then feel the fucking pain after getting your cherry popped. Well that's just rude !!!!!!" She stressed

Hahaha... she gives me her strongest point on how the first night might/will give her "disaster" conditions. She said the "first night" thing it's a tradition thing. It gives advantage only for man. Not for both pleasures.

Millions of adults still having sex the way cave men and women did in Stone age. Many people still derailed by sexual myths. In sexual matters, trusting your instincts can often lead to problems. In the end, by letting trial and error become the teacher of last resort.

And when that happens, not unexpectedly, couples can often make serious mistakes — such as becoming pregnant when partners don’t intend to be, or catching a sexually transmitted disease, or, at the very least, having a less-than-satisfactory sex life, or going through their entire life never having terrific sex.

"Hem... i think i will ask him to pullout and ejaculated it out of me. That might work." She continued

"That will not work babe," I against her

"Or maybe.. i'll lift one of my leg high to the wall.. hoping all the sperm get out from my vagina after having sex and I'll deuche it everyday so the sperm will die" she trying to convinced me.

"Hahahah..... What the fuck, you want to die izzit ????" I laugh.

I don't agree about pullout/withdrawal technique. Because, before a man ejaculates, his penis releases some liquid (called Cowper’s fluid, because the Cowper’s gland produces it), which serves as a lubricant to help the sperm go up the shaft of the penis. Any sperm that may not have been ejaculated during the man’s previous orgasms may be picked up by the Cowper’s fluid.

Although that number is less than the millions of sperm in the ejaculate, how many sperm does an egg require for fertilization?

One goddam fast one.

Because of Cowper’s fluid, a man may deposit sperm inside a woman’s vagina before he has an orgasm. That’s why the pullout, or withdrawal, method does not work as a means of preventing pregnancy.

I hate to be a voice of doom. But i don't think condom will be the perfect human "sexual" saviour anymore. Just because their waterproof, elastic and durable. It doesn't mean it can't give side effects.

First, dry dusting powders are applied to latex condoms before packaging to prevent the condom from sticking to itself when rolled up (e.g Talc and Cornstarch). Talc is known to be toxic if it enters the abdominal cavity (i.e. via the vagina). Cornstarch is generally believed to be safe, however some researchers have raised concerns over its use.

Second Nitrosamines, which are potentially carcinogenic in humans,[1] are believed to be present in a substance used to improve elasticity in latex condoms.[2] A 2001 review stated that humans regularly receive 1,000 to 10,000 times greater nitrosamine exposure from food and tobacco than from condom use and concluded that the risk of cancer from condom use is very low.[3] However, a 2004 study in Germany detected nitrosamines in 29 out of 32 condom brands tested, and concluded that exposure from condoms might exceed the exposure from food by 1.5- to 3-fold.

Finally, Nonoxynol-9 was once believed to offer additional protection against STDs (including HIV) but recent studies have shown that, with frequent use, nonoxynol-9 may increase the risk of HIV transmission.[4] The World Health Organization says that spermicidally lubricated condoms should no longer be promoted. However, they recommend using a nonoxynol-9 lubricated condom over no condom at all.[5] As of 2005, nine condom manufacturers have stopped manufacturing condoms with nonoxynol-9, Planned Parenthood has discontinued the distribution of condoms so lubricated,[6] and the Food and Drug Administration has proposed a warning regarding this issue.[7]

Few weeks ago, my best friend ask me if there is other way to make the the first sexual intercouse less painful. I tell her if the virgin female able to loosen her vagina muscle (in Malay = tak mau kemut ;p). The pain of hymen's breakage will be less painful or maybe they didn't feel it after all. Vagina is able to strech as bigger as newborn baby's shoulders. Both partners have to trust each other... i'm sure they gonna have a terrific sexual intercourse ever ;)

Last Sunday, i'd pay a short visit to my long time friend's wedding (without taking any breakfast in the morning). I was there just to say congratulations to her and declined her offer to eat some foods. When i return home.. i start eating the mee goreng like crazy. My dad feels weired about it.

Dad: Nak.... pegi kenduri orang, tapi tak makan. Apa cer ?????

Me: Malu lah makan sorang-sorang !!!!!

Dad: Baik ikut abah pegi kenduri kahwin tadi... Ini balik rumah kebuluran...

So readers, this is my "yesterday" face photo. Very kontrol ayukan??? Sebelum datang sana, i ambil masa setengah jam semata-mata nak pilih warna baju kurung supaya tak jadi boria pengantin. Alih-alih ter"boria" jugak dengan baju pengantin.... Hampeh !!!!!

Selamat pengantin baru to Hawa Madihah and her hubby. Semoga berbahagia hingga akhir hayat.