"You Can't Arrest Me!....."

And in case you've never seen that particular 60's Spider-Man meme before, here it is:

"Inferior"

Ok, so this was long overdue in coming I know, but I only just recently bought the Superior Spider-Man figure. So here's his debut skit.

Hope he survives it.......

The End

Yes folks, that really is how you get shoved back up your own ass head first. Tell a friend.

"My Two Dads"

Ready for the Holidays? Yeah me neither. Fuck em'.
No seriously. I don't see why the rush for Christmas to be here already with all these pre-Thanksgiving sales and all.
Sure I'd like for the year to be over too, but damn retailers! Can we not acknowledge that it's still technically Fall?



Anyhoo, here's some free laughter to help you out in between trying to figure out who sits next to who on Turkey day and what gifts to get on the cheap....

The End

Ummmm, don't ask, don't tell, and it could happen?;)

Tales from the Top Shelf: Hulk hate customizing!

What's up guys?

I just went to bleedingcool.com, where I usually go to get interesting comic news, and I came across the 1st 5 pages of Darwyn Cooke's Before the Watchmen#1.

Here's the link to those pages:
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/06/05/the-first-five-pages-of-before-watchmen-by-darwyn-cooke/

I have to say, not only does the art look damn fine, but the way the story and narration is framed is very well done. Now I know most of you who have read this blog in the past, know I haven't been that kind towards the whole "Watchmen Sequel" business from DC, especially considering what a big fuck you this is to Alan Moore. That being said, I am changing my tune a little, only in the fact that as far as Cooke's contributions go, so far it looks good.

I don't know how the rest of the mini's will do, but I am intrigued by what Cooke's doing. I've always loved and appreciated his art, ever since first discovering him in the early 2000's. And of course I bought his awesome work and love letter to DC's Silver Age, The New Frontier.(although I need to get on the ball and buy the 1st Vol.) Hell, I even bought the New Frontier dvd movie because I liked this project so much.

So while I still think DC is blatantly dicking Moore over, and shamelessly putting this out to distract from how poor their sales for the NuDCU titles are doing(with the exception of GL, Batman, Aquaman, and JL), I realize perhaps I was being too quick to judge some of the creators involved. Perhaps they'll encourage new fans to check out the original. If they did, it's not like that'd be a bad thing......

On to my original work, here's a fresh new skit for you guys under my Tales from the Top Shelf series. It's a quick little ditty about the Hulk. Enjoy!

Spider-Man: "Hey Hulk, something I've been meaning to ask you for awhile."

Hulk: "Leave Hulk alone puny web-head!"

Spider-Man: "No man, it's cool, it's cool. I just wanna' know what's up with all that white stuff on your head?"

Daredevil: "What white stuff? I don't see any white stuff?"

Spider-Man: "That's because you're blind Matt, sheesh! You'd think a guy would remember being blind."

Hulk: Web-head no want to know; it embarrassing."

Spider-Man: "C'mon Hulkie, it can't be that bad."

Hulk: "Okay, Hulk tell. Puny human try to customize Hulk into a Solomon Grundy figure, but not finish job. He put weird white liquid into Hulk's hair, turning it white. Then puny human color in Hulk's blue pants with black magic marker, making Hulk's pants a messy black. But puny human no finish job, and now Hulk look like hot mess."

Spider-Man: "Oh my god that's freaking hilarious! Aha haha ahahahaha. Oh man, that explains the dirty looks the Legion of Doom have been giving us from the bottom shelf though. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Black Spider-Man: "Oh man this isn't going to end well for Pete. He shouldn't be laughing at Hulk like that. Hulk's gonna' fuck him up for this."

Daredevil: "Yeah, this isn't going to end well for Peter. I need to get the hell of here once I find my cane."

Captain Marvel: "Just keep perfectly still Mar-Vel or else that perverted publishing company that stole your last name will find you and kill you off again in a stupid crossover or story-line again. Hmm. But it is work. No, I'll stay still. Safer that way."

Hulk: "Why Web-head laugh at Hulk? Web-head think what puny human do to Hulk funny? Hulk show you what's funny! Hulk Smash!"

Spider-Man: "C'mon man, I wasn't laughing at you just the situation. Oh boy!`whistles`"

Daredevil: "Yeahhhh, I'm leaving before I get blood on newly washed uniform."

Black Spider-Man: "Yeahhhh, I'm leaving before I get Pete's blood all over my costume. I just got this thing washed, and blood does not come out easily."

What the Hulk said is true. In my own half-assed way I tried to make a custom Solomon Grundy out of the Gray Hulk that came from the ML Galactus wave. I put white-out in his hair, and used a permanent black marker to color in his pants. I even have an old torn-up coat from an old Toy Biz Mr. Fixit Hulk from the 90's to use for him. Unfortunately I got bored quickly, as I often times do when trying to be creative, and left poor Hulk like that. I don't know what to use to get the white-out out of his hair, so I guess he's stuck like that. Maybe I can still pretend he's Solomon Grundy anyways. That way, I'd have all of the Legion of Doom, except for Giganta, Black Manta, Cheetah, and Grodd.

Oh well........

"Does whatever a Spider can..."

Well folks, today's post is a very special one for me. It's my 150th blog post, and I'm pretty psyched by it.
I wasn't too sure it was going to happen what with the computer troubles and all, but here I am, and here you all go: My 150th skit. Enjoy.

-Both stare at an apartment building in New York.

Spider-Man: "Hey, wanna' play rocks, paper, scissors to see who gets to bang MJ first?"

Black Spidey: "Sure, why not. It's been a slow day anyway."

-Both play rocks, paper, scissors.

Black Spidey: "Ha, I win!"

Spider-Man: "Damn, not again!"

Spider-Man: "So what are you gonna' do to her?"

Black Spidey: "That's for me to know and you to find out S-man. Ha! Anal man, strictly anal."

Spider-Man: "I'm know I'm going to regret this, but why anal?"

Black Spidey: "Because I'm a Backdoor-Man, that's why."

                       Spider-Man: "TMI dude, TMI!"


The end.


And now for some extras:

           -Both men stare down at the sight down below.

                       Black Spidey: "Flip ya' for the Teen Titan cutie who's playing street pizza down there?"

               Spidey: "Okay."

"Back in Black"

So the big buzz going around the internet comic book-wise is a certain number of people complaining that Spider-Man is now black. Wait, what?

No, you read that last one correctly, Spider-Man is back and he's black....the Ultimate Spider-Man anyways not the current one. Huh? Apparently, fresh off the big "Death of Spider-Man" storyline that ran through the Marvel Ultimate line of books, where Peter Parker died heroically while saving lives, there was immediate plans to debut a new Spider-Man. Clues were posted throughout the internet and the USA Today, and eventually series writer Brian Bendis decided to reveal who the new Spider-Man was going to be.

His name is Miles Morales, and he's black.

Well this has caused a complete firestorm of controversy and bitching, mostly from people who probably think the main Spider-Man's being replaced by a black guy. Well that isn't the case people, so you can all calm down now.

You can head on over to Bleedingcool.com to get just a taste of the hate that's flying towards Bendis and Marvel because of this. Stuff like "What’s next? A Spiderman who is half black, half Cuban gay vegetarian who works as a Community organizer and drives a Prius that practices Tai Chi?" Is being said or "That’s just dangerous. With spider powers, just think how much stuff he could steal, if he was not so lazy." or even "Just heard Bill Cosby is going to turn Fat Albert and his gang into a skinny half WHITE and half ASIAN dudes and move him to a small Southern town that is only 3% BLACK."

Some people just love to complain about anything don't they. And that's just some of the things the website could print. Like I said, if you to the website, you'll see more. I personally like these two comments:

"What some people will do for money.It has nothing to do with the storyline as much as padding the wallet.What’s next,a muslim spiderman who enforces sharia law or perhaps a jewish one with webs that look like the star of david or the ultimate PC spiderman there could be.A homosexual spiderman that shoots rainbow webs and is basically an easy going spider unless you ruffle his feathers and then oh no girl,you didn’t go there."
                                                                      And
"Maybe Bruce Banner should have turned black when he “Hulked Out” as a symbol of African American rage for centuries of oppression. Then he could rampage through suburban America wreaking havoc in Starbucks and The Gap and Old Navy stores. Go get ‘em Bro-Hulk!!!!!!"

It's all crazy I tell you.

According to CBR, comicbookresources.com, Bendis may have gotten inspired by actor Donald Glover(star of NBC's hit show Community, which is pretty damn funny actually). It seems he petitioned and auditioned to play Spider-Man in the new movie reboot, but of course the role ultimately went to Andrew Garfield. Well this seemed to inspire Bendis, and there you go. Donald Glover finally got to be Spider-Man after all....just in the comics instead.

I wonder just how much crap DC got from fans when they introduced John Stewart as the new GL? Or Marvel, when Jim Rhodes(War Machine) temporarily took over the role of Iron Man while his boss Tony Stark battled Alcoholism?  I guess these people forgot all about those characters, despite the fact that the world didn't end just because someone of color filled in traditionally white roles.

I believe Spider-Man co-creator Stan Lee said it best when talking about the the universal appeal of Spider-Man, and I'm paraphrasing here "Under that mask, he could be anyone. You, me, anyone. It doesn't matter because with that mask on he could be anyone be it of they're black, white, asian or any other color."

Yeah, let's keep that in mind huh?