Tardigrade Awakens After 30-Year Snooze at -4° Fahrenheit, 

Asks, "Is Generalissimo Francisco Franco Still Dead?"

"Yes, I'm a lowly Tardigrade.  But I can survive temperatures

ranging from -451 Degrees to 304 Degrees Fahrenheit, can

absorb 1,000 times more radiation than other animals, and

 can go for ten years without a drink of water.  One thing

I won't be able to survive, however, is the run-up to the

2012 presidential election.  Only humans are low enough

to survive that."