Ritzy Phoenix Suburb Rejects Nonagenarian

Joe Arpaio's Mayoral Bid; Meanwhile, 

Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead

Tardigrade Awakens After 30-Year Snooze at -4° Fahrenheit, 

Asks, "Is Generalissimo Francisco Franco Still Dead?"

"I think living life tends to make you more conservative. 

And if I live long enough, I'll eventually look and sound

 just like Generalissimo Francisco Franco."

U. S. Victory in Iraq War Now in Its Seventh Year;
Generalissimo Francisco Franco Still Dead After
34 Years

Thirty-one years after his death, Generalissimo Francisco

Franco is still dead. But his fascist supporters are very

much alive.