Not only is Senator Coburn unrepentant

for being John Ensign's 'fixer', but also,

he says, "I am proud of what I did and

the way I did it."  If you don't see things

the way the Senator does, it's probably

because you're not a member of The

Family and a Christian obstetrician

 from Oklahoma.

"Relax, Senator Coburn, that call was from Rachel Maddow.

She just wanted to say, 'Hi!'"

"I was blind to how arrogant and self-centered that I had

become. I did not recognize that I thought mostly of myself. 

So here I am today, giving my last Senate speech, talking

about how contrite I am."

If you've ever wondered what a 'Resigned Look'

looks like, here it is.

Douglas Hampton, Former John Ensign Love Triangle Aide,

Indicted on Seven Criminal Counts for Post-Senate Lobbying

Activities Orchestrated by Senator Ensign

"Now, hold on a minute! John Ensign is retiring because he

wants to spend more time with his family. I, on the other hand,

already spend more time with my family than I can stand."

Republican John Ensign Won't Seek Reelection‎, Says, "At This

Point in My Life, I Have to Put Alvin and the Chipmunks First"

Chris Lee Challenges David Vitter and

John Ensign to a Bicep-for-Bicep,

Pec-for-Pec Shirtless Matchup

Kyl, Alexander, Ensign, and McConnell:

The Four Horsemen of the GOPocalypse

"In the immortal words of Kristopher Sickles,

'Scar my tattered body no more with your

punishing dildo mallet!'"

"You're right, John. If I had just cheated on my wife,
carried on an affair with the wife of a close friend, and
had my parents shell out almost $100,000 in hush
money, I would have suffered a hell of a lot less than
I have for saying, 'Negro'."

We Be Brethren

Will King Rat Be Last to Abandon Sinking Ship?

John Ensign and Harry Reid have an
agreement not to criticize each other.
They know if they didn't have such an
agreement, they would never get any
work done.

"Not only do I have no intention of resigning in light of
my affair with Cindy Hampton and my parents’ $96K payout
to her family, but I plan to find another Nevada wife I can
seduce and another husband I can cuckold before I run for
re-election to the Senate in 2012."

Ensign (nsn, -sn) n. a standard-bearer.
[The Senator from Nevada is the Ensign
of the Republican Party.]

Right before our very eyes, one of the most popular

sitcoms of the 70s is being remade. Yes, All in the

Family is back, this time situated on C Street in

DC and starring some of the Republican Party's

best and brightest, like Mark Sanford, John Ensign,

and Tom Coburn.

Deacon Coburn Sez: "What I said to Senator Ensign

is privileged communication that I will never reveal to

anybody. Not to the Ethics Committee, not to a court of

law, not to anybody." Asked if 'anybody' included Jehovah

God Himself, Deacon Coburn replied, "God told me last

night that He respected my Constitutional right to

keep my mouth shut."

Cindy could never resist when John looked into
her eyes and said, "Let's play doctor."

Now Better Known as 'Big John and Sparkie'