Vladimir Putin Salvages Rand Paul and Tucker

Carlson Heads from Black Sea

Beto for Senate,

Ted Cruz for Sewer Diver

When he's not surrogatin' for Trump on cable TV, 

Steve Cortes works as a sewer diver on Wall Street.

Narcissus Bird

Diving at the Summer Olympics

George Pataki, Tim Pawlenty's Stunt Double, 

Dives into GOP Presidential Pool

What Really Severed Freddie Gray's Spine Was When 

He Dived 50 Feet into a Moist Sponge

Four Out of Five Muff Divers Recommend

Muff-So-Soft

Air Scuba Divers Dancing to the Music of Air Guitarists

Supersecret CIA Kamikaze Fiscal Cliff Diving 

Program Revealed

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #306

Bill Warren

What if we were to abandon the rather commonplace

'Horse-Race Metaphor' for political contests and use a

different one? Instead of talking about 'Front Runners'

 and 'Dark Horses', we could use a different metaphor,

like, say, 'Muff Diving', and be talking about, well,

just imagine the possibilities.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Willi, but, if I understand

what you're saying, you wore the beard and the hat

 so that moviegoers couldn't tell the difference

between you, a stunt muff diver, and, say, John

Wayne or the Cisco Kid."

"That's correct, my disguise was so recondite

movie audiences never could tell the difference."

"That's the third guy today who's overdosed on Red Bull."

Sky Diver

Diver Badly Misjudges Lane Depth

Who says Santa Claus doesn't exist? The dolphins charged

with being the eyes in the ocean are certainly acting like he

does — and they've been joined on the Internet by millions

of believers.

World Record: Dude Dives 12 Inches into 35 Feet of Water

"He's not so much a diver as he is a metaphor for

the Republican Party."

Having regained the optimal fetal position,

Ryan was ready to return to the womb.