Early Summer at the Lake

 You know, I never did finish my travelogue about spring break. And since then, we've been on several other trips. 

To review: we finished our spring break vacation with a short stay in Boston with family. I rented a car, and we drove to Providence, RI, to check out Providence College with our HS junior before heading north to MA. We also stopped at Holy Cross in Worcester, which has beautiful buildings, but no one was around, and we didn't stay to tour. College decisions are looming. Boston College was our third college visit of the trip, but most of that stay was centered around reconnecting with our son, cousins, and some old friends from our home schooling days in Norfolk, VA, who also now live in Massachussetts.  It was a delight to reconnect with them. We've seen them a few times since moving from Virginia in 2009, but we always pick up right where we left off. 

The same thing happened earlier in the month when met up first with family and then with friends from graduate school in Michigan.  We spent the first week of June soaking in sunny, mild days on Crystal Lake with my extended family. The weather was perfect.  There were some ups and downs with as many people were there wanting to do different things, but overall the memories we will hold on to are good - a bonfire with s'mores and a beautiful sunset, skipping stones at the Point Betsie lighthouse, bike rides around the lake with lunch at the Jewish deli in the middle of the ride, beach time and canoe trips, a short hike to the dunes, racing up Sleeping Bear dunes, ice cream at the Cool Spot and beach volleyball at the Frankfort pier, lots of pickle ball and communal suppers, a trip to the Farmer's Market and some souvenir shopping. In addition to all these activities, there was time to remember trips to the lake in childhood. E. B. White's essay echoed in my mind. I still gnawed on the question of what direction to take in this next stage in life - not just about whether to take the middle school job (which I have turned down, but keep thinking about), but about where to live and what to do with the years we have left. What are the values and activities I want to give time and thought to?)

Following the family reunion week, we spent a couple additional days with other cousins and the graduate school friends. The kids all got along well after the initial awkwardness of introductions. The 7-10 year old girls (4 of them) were immediate best friends, while the teenagers took a little longer to warm up. Pickle ball was a great equalizer and source of entertainment. Since the weather was messy, we also played cards, drank a lot of coffee, ate pastries and fruit, and took some misty hikes to Lake Michigan on the Old Indian Trail and to Empire Dunes. There was quiet time for reading in the mornings as the teens slept in, and the adults engaged in meaningful conversation to our hearts' content - also about what gives life meaning in this second half. How do we live out our callings? 

Over Memorial Day weekend, in celebration of my 50th birthday, I also had the opportunity to reunite with a couple of college friends and a cousin who is a nun in Nashville. We were a bit surprised by the skankiness of downtown Nashville - I'm not sure what we were expecting, but it was not the alcohol drenched, sweaty mess of the bars on Broadway. After our initial exposure, we avoided the area as much as we could since our hotel was downtown, and instead made trips to bookstores, cute coffee shops, a winery, a state park for a long hike, and to the convent where my cousin lives for a visit and historical tour. Again, lots of opportunity for deep conversations and sharing successes and struggles. Again, opportunity for reflection on where I am going in life and on how I can serve. 

As a travelogue, this is not providing much in the way of recommendations for destinations and good restaurants. I can cross travel writer off my list of potential careers.  After all of these long talks and opportunities for contemplation, reading, and discussion while on the road, I feel fairly sure that teaching is where my skill set lies, and that relationships are what bring salt and light to life, and that teaching allows me to form relationships with the world, as well as to continue to nurture my family in whatever way that looks as a parent to adult children - and a nine year old.  I still feel unsettled about whether I continue pursue teaching in higher ed or move to primary/secondary. My thoughts on where I serve best continue to shift. I just finished a book that provided a lot to cogitate upon, A Sacred Voice is Calling by John Neafsey, a Catholic psychologist, a discussion of which I'll save for another post, 

Instead a few photos: 

  

Boston bound

Happy Last Weekend of October! 

It finally feels like fall here in Texas, with morning temps in the 50s and afternoons sunny and 75. Apparently, this summer's 75+ days of 100 degree weather were an anomaly even for Texas, but with changes to the climate becoming ever more evident, next summer will surely be similar, or worse. With temps in the 90s up until about 10 days ago, summer felt extra long. So we headed east to experience fall for a few days in early October. 

My family had not heard the term "leaf peeper," but I remember my grandparents talking about going to New England in the fall to do just that - peep at leaves.  But honestly, this trip to New England was planned back in July in order to peep at our son, not the leaves. The fall color was just a perk. 

We used the extended Columbus/Indigenous Peoples weekend to fly to Boston, spent a couple of days touring the city led by our indomitable tour guide/second son, and also drove up to Portland, Maine, for a couple of days to meet his lovely girlfriend's parents.  It was a perfect weekend: time with family, glorious weather, visits to historical sites, no travel hiccups, very minimum kid complaints - other than from the kids who didn't get to join us - and lots of interesting and beautiful things to look at. 

Not everyone would like the way we travel - we tend to be one step above frugal travelers. We stay with family or in budget hotels, walk a lot, eat one main meal a day and get the rest of our nourishment from small bites along our routes, which focus on highlights of history, art, and architecture.  We used to road trip everywhere, but now we have upgraded to budget flights. Because our 16 year old has flight anxiety, I try to book direct flights, and this time, I just happened to score a deal on Jetblue - maybe because we booked months ago.  Even though Dan is now retired, we still qualify for the perk of a couple free bags for military members and veterans on some budget airlines, so we don't have to buy bags.  So we aren't the cheapest of travelers, but we aren't luxurious.

Although I was prepared to scour travel sites for a place to stay because my son's place is too small, and to bachelor paddish to host five members of our family, we were able to stay at my brother-in-law's new house and borrow their car for the Maine excursion. That family has just moved to Boston - in fact, when I booked the trip, I didn't know they were moving there.  But the weekend we picked to visit is also their 20th anniversary, and they happen to have a friend who had rented a villa for a month, so they flew off for a more upscale experience. The perk is, we were able to use their house and car in exchange for keeping their dog company. A great trade, although we missed spending time with them.

I usually do more planning and reading prior to a bigger trip like this, but I didn't have as much time this fall, and I have been to Boston a few times before, although year ago.  Notable trivia: I went into labor in the Prudential Building with our first child 25 years ago. We were living in Newport, and Dan's brother was in Boston, and we came up to visit and meet up with some college friends. There was actually a business building chapel where we were going to meet them, but minutes after we entered, my water broke and I rushed to the bathroom.  We did not make it to Mass, but sped back to Newport. Fortunately, after I delivered, some nice Eucharistic Minister came by our room, and brought communion to all the Catholics at the hospital. 

Before this trip, we did read "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" a few times before setting out, and I read some stories to the 8 year from A Child's History of America, which made me realize how much more American history I did with our kids when home schooling than our private school is doing. Fortunately, one of those kids whom I home schooled was our tour guide, and he was happy to lead us on a tour of notable spots. 

Our itinerary, if anyone is planning a trip: 

Direct flight to Boston Thursday night - nightcaps and short conversation with the brother-in-law before collapsing for the night. Rose early to take him to the airport before beginning our tour of the city.

Friday morning: Started in their neighborhood with a walk through Harvard and Cambridge, met up with son for coffee, and then took the subway into the city. We got off near Beacon Hill, where I finagled a brief tour of literary figures' homes - Henry David Thoreau, Louisa May Alcott, and Nathaniel Hawthorne all had houses on Pinckney Street. We missed Robert Frost's home, and a few others because only one person in our party was interested in the literary tour of Boston, and I have to compromise...

Next we headed to Boston Commons and strolled through the park, where they were setting up for a road race. Our route led us through the Public Garden, but the Swan boats were closed for the season, so the 8 year old had to settle for a carousel ride and a few photos by the Make Way for Ducklings statue (an happy literary stop for everyone).

From the Public Garden, we worked our way to the Public Library along a lovely boulevard whose name is escaping me, but which has some statuary of revolutionary figures including Alexander Hamilton. We also passed some architecturally significant churches, but since they weren't Catholic, we didn't go inside to pray. 

We did go into the library to admire the McKim Mead and White side of the building, and the John Singer Sargeant frescoes upstairs - an allegory of religious history - fascinating and somewhat militaristic, so out of fashion. I made a quick trip through to the modern cafe on the Philip Johnson side of the library, where a podcast or television show was being filmed. Overall impression: a fascinating architectural specimen. Not as many stacks of books as you would expect in a library. 

After that we all were starved for lunch. I wanted to get fresh bread, freshly picked apples, local cheese and local hard cider from the farmer's market in Copley Square in front of the library, but I was overruled again. We did get very delicious bowls from a Mediterranean place, a chain I didn't know about. 

Reenergized after lunch, we walked past all the high end shops on Newbury Street and made our way to the freedom trail. A stop at Granary Burial Ground to see the graves of Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, Benjamin Franklin's parents, John Hancock, and victims of the Boston Massacre, including Crispus Attucks, was entertaining, surprisingly, because of the tourist hawkers in costume. From there, I was able to make a quick stop in Brattle's Bookshop because others were promised a stop for a cold Sam Adams beer across from the cemetery - bad jokes abound on the placard out front. 

Still in motion, we headed towards Quincy Market and Faneuil Hall, crossing through the plaza where the Boston Massacre is memorialized with a star.  That's where the Samuel Adams brewery is, so that was another rest stop along the way.  At this point we had walked over 20K steps, so a cold beer never tasted better. 

Our journey was not yet over - we had to make it over to the North End, where our son lives. Through the discount fruit market where we bought a flat of raspberries and a flat of strawberries for $2 each - who cares that half of them were moldy.  Then past the home of Paul Revere, which was closed for the day, and then finally to our son's apartment which he shares with two other young men. You can imagine their decorating style tends toward curbside furniture, shelving made of 2x4s, beer signs, and dying plants. But it was clean and in an ideal location for young adults - restaurants down the street and a Catholic Church right across the road, so there is no excuse for missing Mass. The street level store was being converted to a clothing store after the former tenant, a psychic, passed away. 

The Old North Church (also closed) and the Skinny House - famous for being skinny - are also in our son's neighborhood, so we did a walk by before stopping off at his apartment for an hour's rest, and happy hour drinks - ginger ale for those underage.  We had a late reservation at La Famiglia Giorgio, one of many delicious Italian restaurants in the North End. Dinner was leisurely and filling - starters of bruschetta and calamari, overflowing bowls of pasta, a couple bottles of wine between the 6 of us over 21. I ordered the pumpkin ravioli appetizer and the waiter was afraid I would still be hungry but it was 8 or so large raviolis - so filling I could barely finish, but so delicious that I did. 

After dinner we ambled up to the cannoli shop that is NOT Mike's, the famous one. Even though we stuffed, and it was 10 pm, we waited in a fairly long line to order cannoli, that we took back to the cousins' house to eat for breakfast. After our walk back from the subway stop, the 8 year old was proud to report that her step counter watch had logged 32000 steps, which is about 15 miles. I am happy to report that the cannoli were not soggy the next morning. And the cappuccino flavored one was excellent with my morning espresso. 

Now to share photos and post- I'll have to come back to write about the rest of the trip or Halloween will be here and gone before I finish. 

Gates to Harvard

Harvard Chapel

Chasing geese near the JFK memorial

The bridge over the Charles River near Cambridge    

Home of Louisa May Alcott at some point

Near HD Thoreau's

Public Garden

Make way for ducklings

The Public Garden

Outside the library

Sargeant murals inside the library - an allegory of religion

The meeting of old and new in the library

Brattle's booksellers

Samuel Adams' Grave

Boston Massacre marker

Home of Paul Revere

The Old North Church

Peeking in the ONC graveyard

I

Summer sun, graduates, and road trips

Midsummer night's eve is still a week away, and the kids have only been out of school a week, but already it feels that it has been summer for months. Maybe that is because it has been 104 degrees for the past two weeks, with the 10 day forecast on the weather app calling for temps over a 100 for the forecastable future. Or maybe because we just returned from a 3000 mile road trip. Our brand new car is already 2000 miles past due for its 5000 mile check up.

Time for an update:
The biggest news: Our fourth son/fifth child graduated from high school three weeks after his brother graduated from college. After having to move his senior year, the high schooler adjusted well and told his uncle who came for the graduation that even though he thought the administration of his school is corrupt (which means something different to teens - like they enforce uniform regulations irregularly and apparently ask for hall passes unfairly and at times reprimand students for being wild in the parking lots), he had formed stronger friendships and learned more in his classes. That is some consolation after the heartache that accompanied this move. He'll be following in his older brothers' footsteps in attending Notre Dame. I have to admit we were all a little surprised when he was admitted, but he worked hard this year.  Notre Dame was his dream school for years, but when the time came to make a decision once we had all the financial aid information in hand from the various schools he had applied to, he almost turned it down. There were two smaller Division 3 schools that were recruiting him to play football, and he had a hard time saying no to them. Eventually, he decided that since he would probably have to redshirt his freshman year because of his ACL surgery, he'd start at ND. It would be much easier to transfer from ND to one of these two schools if he decides he isn't happy there than the other way around. And financially, our part of the bill was about the same at all the schools. 

The third son's graduation was a festive affair at Notre Dame, although we didn't plan a party for either son. The commencement address was delivered by the archparch of the Ukrainian Catholic church in America, Boris Gudziak. When this was announced, I was ready for a sober speech, but he was actually quite animated and began his speech by revealing that he had always wanted to pass a football on the ND field, so he pulled out a football that he spiraled out to the crowd, where it was caught by my son's good friend from San Diego. A great beginning to a speech that touched on the meaning of education as learning to see with the heart. He appealed to the high spirits of the Ukrainian people in the face of great odds, but he didn't bring down the spirits of the graduates by dwelling on the war, that continues to be waged with both blood and money. His speech was followed by the Laetare medal winner, Sharon LaVigne, who has fought for environmental justice in her Louisiana community and inspired other campaigns around the country. She inspired everyone with her David vs. Goliath story, but another highlight of the graduation ceremony was the brief speech given by Jerome Bettis, who returned to ND to finish his final semester of school after he left in 1994 to play for the NFL. He returned not for any financial gain, but to witness to the power of education to his children and to fulfill his promise to his mother. He had a press crew following him, but his words seemed heartfelt - and that theme of seeing with the eyes of the heart seemed to echo throughout all of the speeches of the day. This idea that education is for developing empathy and compassion and growing in virtues of faith, hope, and charity resonated with me, even though I know many graduates originally came to Notre Dame to get a high paying job and to watch a lot of football. 

As I mentioned in a post back in May, our third son is going to work at the farm in the San Juan Islands in Puget Sound where his father and I honeymooned, which is run by Benedictine nuns. He did get accepted into the English Language program run by the Spanish embassy, so he will head to somewhere in Andalusia in October. My secret hope is to visit him in Spain next Spring and allow myself time to hike part of the Camino de Santiago. He has been very helpful around the house - cooking, doing laundry and dishes, driving his siblings around, washing windows, painting some watercolors of the state birds and state flowers of where we have lived for our large blank stairwell wall - in order to supplement his dwindling checking account which has no source of income for the foreseeable future. He'll get a stipend in Spain, but has to cover his own living expenses, so it is unlikely to go far. He is looking into possibilities for marketing his senior thesis - he designed a type font based on the handwriting of John Keats - but I'm not sure how that is going. 

So even though two more sons are entering new, more independent phases of their lives, I still feel very much their mother, although the house will certainly be quieter in a matter of weeks.

To cap off the graduation season, we loaded up in the car to go to our niece's graduation in Ventura, where we used to live. Actually, four of the family flew - we bought those tickets early when my brother-in-law invited us out, but then we all decided to go. Since the airfare had increased exponentially, and one daughter is a fearful flier, the two younger girls and I drove out - this gave us the opportunity of stopping to see our oldest and his wife in Arizona, whom we hadn't seen since Christmas since their Easter plans fell through. They are in the process of moving, so our next visit is undetermined, which made the decision to drive 3000 miles easier to make. 

Our niece graduated from a hippie school in Ojai - the students wore caps and gowns, but only some wore shoes. The school has a beautiful campus with round cypress buildings, lots of live oaks, and meadows full of wildflowers. Stumps set in circles attested to the frequent practice of holding class outside. Each student in the class of 16 delivered a speech; our niece's was by far the best - no familial bias at work. I was impressed by the willingness of these students to stand up and share the ways they had stretched and grown. A good number of the students described difficulties they had with learning online for a year, or changing schools, or making friends, or discovering themselves, and all of them thanked their families, teachers, and friends, for "literally saving" them, but our niece read a letter she had written to herself as a first year and then wrote back to herself. It was lighthearted and funny, a notable juxtaposition to the vulnerabilities shared by her classmates (she thanked people, too).   

After the ceremony, we had a fabulous lunch at a famous hotel and then capped off the day with a family beach volleyball tournament. My mother-in-law and one other set of cousins had also come to the graduation and some of our cousins' friends also came to celebrate. It was a fun evening, followed the next day with a celebration of our daughter's sixteenth birthday.  More cake, a shopping trip, a teenager group trip to an escape room, followed by an enchilada dinner. I think she had a good day, even though another reason we had made the trip was because she was involved in a drama with friends back home, so she was wanting a change of scenery. 

The weekend was completed with a trip back down to our old neighborhood, where we dropped off our older daughter for the summer. She never found a great job here near us, so she made arrangements to stay with some friends and housesit for some other friends and work for her past employer, the recreation center. I was both saddened and heartened by this. Saddened, because she really didn't want to spend the summer with us in Texas where she has no friends. No surprise, really. But heartened because she made the arrangements herself and is planning to finance the summer herself. A step towards independence. She also has an online internship that is unpaid that will plump her resume up a bit. I was happy to have her home from Germany for over a month before she headed back out to California, and now I have another excuse for going back to see friends, although I'm beginning to fear they may get tired of me showing up on their doorstep! To avoid burnout, and since I had two of the boys with me because their return flights got cancelled and rescheduled, I went ahead a rented a room at the Navy Lodge on the beach. I had romantic notions of falling to sleep listening to the ocean waves, but I was so exhausted by the time I lay down, and aided by melatonin (which has been a real boon lately because I have this midlife problem sleeping), I had one of the best nights sleeping I'd had in ages. Maybe it was the distant sound of waves lulling me...

So a busy two weeks. Many miles covered. Lots of quality family time with both the immediate family, including our married son and daughter-in-law, whom we visited both going and returning, and extended family. Time to think and pray while driving. We were only gone five days, but it felt like a month passed.  I hate driving around town in stop and go traffic, but I don't mind the open road, hours of daydreaming past cacti and interesting rock formations. We listened to lots of Taylor Swift and Kacey Musgraves on the way out, and on the way home, I was drawn into Ann Patchett's book of essays This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, which is mostly about her writing life, although I think my favorite essay was about her relationship with her father when she tries out for the LAPD Police Academy. 

Over the next couple of weeks we will settle into summer. Looking forward to some boredom. 

Photos of the graduates: 

  

College graduation

 

An alumni club photo booth

The graduate and I road tripped back, with a stop to see a new baby nephew and stops to see both sets of grandparents.

 

Honey locusts in bloom. The bees were ecstatic.

A field trip to a farm with chicks and llamas.

Swim team in season! A trip to the Charles Umlauf Sculpture Garden

And a stop at the Austin Botanic Garden

  

And a stop at the Harry Ransom Center to see a Gutenberg Bible and first edition of Ulysses 

High school graduation - Don't notice that I wore the same dress

 

First road trip in our new car - it is so compassionate

Sibling time!

Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, family, fun - all the usual characteristics of summer vacation.