Family Life Committee notes

Before heading off on our trip, I wanted to make a few notes about the Family Life and Spirituality Committee that we are on for our parish. This committee was formed after the Diocesan synod on Amoris Laetitia last year. A few parishes were chosen as pilot parishes to observe, to be witnesses, to plan, and to host events to help strengthen families and communities  - in other words, to share the joy of the gospel of love.  Our parish picked three populations to focus on: young adults, married couples with or without children, and divorced or separated people. Someone mentioned we don't have a focus on singles, so that is something we will probably add in the future.

Our parish already offers an array of programs that offer opportunities for fellowship and catechesis, but we talked about making sure we get the word out and make personal invitations to these events, but also that we focus our attention on having just one or two events per quarter in each of four areas: fellowship, social outreach, catechesis, and spiritual life.  So each group is supposed to plan some events or help promote already existing ones.  So we've had a date night with a concert, a talk by a couple on attachment theory in marriage, an Oktoberfest for families, a food packaging event for social outreach, and then a blessing for couples celebrating their anniversaries this quarter. An evening of Taize music and adoration is planned in Advent. The challenge is not to overload people but to offer enough events that if someone misses something, they can come to the next thing. And the bigger idea is not to offer events just to have a full social roster, but to offer opportunities to deepen our friendship with Christ and our neighbor and to strengthen bonds among family members so that they live the joy of love.

A challenge for our parish, I think, is to encourage people to take advantage of the sacraments more - come to daily mass, or confession, or one of the small groups that prepare for Sunday's Mass with a gospel reflection, come to the rosary prayer group, come to adoration, which is always offered on Wednesday and Thursday morning.  People in our community have rich social lives, but may need an invitation to enrich their spiritual lives.

Last Saturday the Diocese had a review session for the pilot parishes. It was an opportunity for idea sharing and review of what works and what doesn't. The diocese has hired four new staff members to work on outreach to young adults, those preparing for marriage, married couples, and divorced/separated. The Diocese also just held a mass in honor of the anniversary of "Always our Children" for families of those who identify as LGBT.  The man who organized it was very moved by the responses he received to that event.

The morning review was very positive. There are lots of exciting things going on and LOTS of people excited to share Christ and the blessings of a vibrant parish community with others.  It was an encouraging event, and the room buzzed with the energy and enthusiasm of these people dedicated to encouraging the Joy of Love in action.

Here are some notes I made from the day:

Every church has a slightly different charism so no one model works everywhere BUT

1. One church has a family catechesis breakfast every other month. They also have date nights and do a book study with married couples. Several parishes were promoting date nights with or without a program (videos, adoration, meet the clergy were some suggested). 
2. Scheduling activities around Mass seemed popular
3. Having family service projects was popular idea - I concur
4. Another church had a praise and worship concert for families that was well attended
5. Involving young adults/youth in liturgy keeps them coming to Mass
6. One parish has a young adult dinner with the priest - 6-8 young people once a week by personal invitation it sounds like.  Another group did this with young married couples, but dinners were hosted by deacon and wife.
7. Need for charismatic leaders was emphasized - need to form leaders.  Diocese is trying to train more young adults to be leaders with a retreat coming up.
8. Marriage mentors was an idea that was shared by a couple groups
9. Another parish has a welcoming committee to welcome new families
10. Welcoming separated and divorced to come to Mass is important.  Having a BBQ suggested, reaching out to parents and kids. 
11. Spirituality also important to address - helping people get to know Christ and welcome Him into their homes: Adoration, Bible studies, and small groups all seemed to be successful events to foster prayer life. 
12. One idea on a poster from the divorced/separated table was the suggestion to teach ongoing relationship skills.  Another was to offer workshop on healing
13. After going to the marriage prep day last Saturday, it struck me that most of the couples were looking for practical advice more than theology, so maybe offering talks or workshops on things like Financial Management, Practical Parenting Skills, Communicating Effectively, Anger Management, Managing Social Media  - but with a Catholic perspective might be helpful.  
14. Another thought I had - Find ways to celebrate events in the Church calendar in a small way to help families make Catholic traditions a part of family life. This is something home schooling families do well: Have special saint day celebrations with foods associated with the saint. The All Saints Day Mass is a great witness of this, and May Crowning - any way to involve the parish in the school event or have an additional parish May Crowning? And the St. Patrick's Day dinner and Oktoberfest events are a great example of this - so maybe nothing new is needed. Perhaps other ways to celebrate: give kids something for Epiphany or Pentecost: red balloons? Special donuts with little flames or doves on them? Crowns for the kids on Christ the King? Something special for Feast of Sacred Heart?  Something - coffee and donuts or cookies? - to celebrate on each of the Holy Days of Obligation?  Nothing big but a little reminder of feasts and fasts - kids quickly pick up on special traditions.

This Saturday we were going to observe the Diocese's new marriage prep program, but the presenters on marriage and military life cancelled, so we got to give a little testimony. It went much better than the last time we had to give one, but we still need to work on our message.  We spent too much time at the beginning on introductions and telling our story and ran out of time to summarize the "lessons" we have learned - which is what they want to hear. As my husband and I were talking it over on the way home, we came to the conclusion we need to start with the lessons and then share little stories to illustrate how we learned them.  Our lessons were based on something I had posted on this blog before, but I think we need to revise them for an audience of people just starting out.  Anyway, another lesson for marriage is that doing things like marriage prep and sitting on spirituality committees makes you realize how much you need to live your own advice. Another lesson: constant education and review is helpful for keeping track of what's good in your marriage - and what needs work... usually in your own self. 

On Sunday services

Our third son is now enrolled in confirmation class, which started this weekend. It's a two year program here. Although I appreciate the idea of the freedom of the individual to discern readiness for Confirmation, there is a part of me that wishes the sacrament was linked to a specific age like First Communion. Since every diocese has a different program, we have had to accommodate to the diocese in which we live. Our oldest would have been younger than his classmates if he were confirmed in Mississippi, but he was older than his classmates in Guam.  We've registered our third son a year earlier than most kids here in case we don't get follow on orders to stay here, since confirmation class is a two year program in this diocese.

I was confirmed as a high school junior, but I have several friends who have skipped the parish confirmation programs and worked through their priest to have their kids confirmed after home instruction in the faith at much earlier ages.  A family member who married into the Greek Orthodox community had her children receive all three sacraments of initiation as infants. I suppose I should do more study into the history and meaning of the sacrament to make more discerning decisions about my kids' reception of sacraments, but I also don't want to place our family outside the community of the parish and the diocese.  While I don't necessarily love everything about our new parish (the Gloria makes you want to do jazz hands!), it does have a vibrant community.  The bulletin is six pages long. And the web page is the best parish website I have ever seen - the bulletin, links to ministries, links to resources, photos of parish events, etc. etc.  The youth program is active and run by a graduate of Franciscan University of Stuebenville.  So we will accommodate ourselves, rather than asking the pastor to accommodate us.

As a part of the class, the students are supposed to attend the Lifeteen Mass on Sunday evenings. Since we had planned a hike for the day, we decided to all go to the evening mass, instead of the very early morning Mass. Another accommodation.

The church was packed. More old folks than I expected. The students sat with their groups in the front. Our family sat in the middle surrounded by singing, swaying worshipers. The musicians were really talented. The priest gave a heartfelt but thoughtful homily about the four kinds of poverty, material, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual in response to the Gospel reading about the beggar Lazarus.

This service was in diametric contrast with the Mass we attended last week at St. Thomas Aquinas College. That church was designed by one of my husband's college professors, and I've always appreciated the TAC classical program, so we had been meaning to make the not long trek to the school for Mass.  The congregation there, too, was mostly adolescents and young adults, along with a number of young families. It wasn't completely in Latin, but was definitely a high mass, with the music sung or chanted by the talented choir.  The service was very reverent, conducive to prayer and contemplation.  And although we were full of the Spirit after the hour and a half Mass, we all had plenty of appetite for the spread at the convivial dining hall after the service.

From the TAC website

It is perhaps one of the spiritual riches of our faith that it provides space for many charisms.  I may prefer the high Mass we attended last weekend at St. Thomas Aquinas College because my own temperament or charism is more reserved and formal. But I'm glad that people who want the guitars and lyrics of praise and worship music have a place, too. As I sat in Mass, I thought of our dear friends at other parishes around the country.  Each place has had its own feel and style, but I still felt connected to those friends knowing they were praying the Mass that day, too. Although separated by time and space, we are joined in the eternal celebration of God's love.

News from the other side of the world

Woke up to the exciting news about the election of Pope Francis!  Called my mom and dad to share in their excitement.  Spent more time than I care to admit searching the internet and watching tv rebroadcasts all saying the same thing - "We don't know much about this guy."  I'm looking forward to reading more of what Pope Francis has said and written in the past.  After two scholarly popes, I wonder what Pope Francis' gift will be. Can I still get the indulgence from the Papal Blessing if I watched it several hours after it happened? The protodeacon did say it was available to users of new media. . .  I thought the conclave might last a little longer, but a quick election seems to say that this was the obvious choice.

So Viva il Papa!  May he lead the Church well.