The New Math

Despite the disruption of schooling from moving around that my kids have experienced, we've been fortunate to avoid a disruption of teaching methodology and ideology until now. Most of the schools the kids have attended have been fairly traditional schools. Of course, technology use has been creeping up, slowly but surely. My fifth grader at the Catholic school now has an ipad assigned to her. At home she uses it for spelling practice and reviewing history questions. The first use is fine - although I still make her write her words. The history program online is more frustrating. She did not do well on the tests, which suggests she isn't comprehending everything she reads - reading problem or online problem? A combination, probably. I'm not up to speed on exactly what they are doing in class, but I wonder if she has trouble reading online. She is not a fluent reader and needs to use a finger or bookmark to track her reading. I'm still undecided if this is a developmental problem, a vision problem, or an attention problem, but she doesn't struggle enough with her grades to merit special accommodations. There may be some sort of program on the e-reader to highlight words or make the text bigger, but I haven't played with it to find out.

Meanwhile, at the local public school, the kids have been doing a large portion of their homework online and turning it in on their learning platform. Their science and math texts are online, although a printed math book can be checked out. My biggest complaint lately is that my three kids at the public school have been subjected to a new math program that integrates math topics in a spiral concept, which reminds me of Saxon math, but requires group work and uses the strange vocabulary of common core math that is supposed to draw on real world situations but puts the kids through a series of contrived steps to teach process by withholding information -- even if they have mastered the process. My junior in pre-calculus honors complains daily, and I feel guilty I discouraged him from AP Calculus because he was taking so many other AP classes (language, chemistry, physics, and US history). He's not taking these classes to garner the highest GPA or to test out of a year of college, but to have access to the best teachers, the highest quality material and the collegiality of other high achieving students.  Unfortunately, the school threw out its previous program and revamped the entire math department in order to implement a program that promises "mastery over time," "learning by discovery," and fewer homework problems, but problems that are supposed to challenge students so they retain more.

The school held a "math night" for parents to get information, but had a representative from the text company give a presentation and did not allow time for parent questions, although in the promotion of the event, the school suggested that this evening was supposed to "answer all the questions." After the event a mob, myself included, confronted the school district's curriculum development lady who was also on hand. She refused to answer anything and suggested we email the teachers with further questions. I spent a couple weeks stewing about this change and wrote several angry, but futile, emails.  My biggest frustration is that the school district has eliminated opportunities for high achieving students to work at a faster pace or more advanced level.  They are eliminating honors classes and the opportunity for eighth graders to take Algebra 1 - because algebra 1 is now Integrated Math 1, which is algebra plus geometry. All high school students will take integrated math 1 and 2 freshman and sophomore years. Junior year they can advance to pre-calculus, which is still this CPM common core program, or AP Calculus.

It's very limiting. And my junior complains daily about the frustrations of group work. I hated group work.  Someone's always copying and someone's always doing most of the work for the group. Is this really going to improve math fluency and appreciation? Kids may like math class more because they get to talk, but...

Maybe I'm being overly critical, but the reports that the company guy linked to don't seem very convincing to me.  The one report from an outside agency simply rates the program on how well it aligns with common core curriculum standards.  The only one that addresses my question about test scores is from 1996. Granted test scores are not the best indicator for how well a student is learning math but it does provide a way to tell whether students are doing better.  And that's what I want to know - how many of these students are learning to love math and are going on to do great things in STEM professions?  What is the goal of these programs?  How do help kids capable of doing more?

 Now I'm questioning even more our decision to not go broke sending all of the kids to Catholic schools - not that there aren't problems there, but I got the feeling at our previous schools that parent opinion was considered - the last school decided not to go with a one to one device program at the high school level.  Anyone have any extra tens of thousands lying around? Can we move now?

Here are copies of my correspondence:

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Hi Mr. Superintendent, Mr. Math teacher, Ms. Principal, Ms. Curriculum development officer, and Mr. counselor, and Mr. Nugent [the representative from the College Preparatory Math program],

I'm not sure to whom I should address this email, so I'm sending it to you all in hopes of receiving some clear, convincing answers that weren't provided at math night last night.  Based on the description from open house and the new parents night, I thought math night was going to be an explanation of the new teaching methodology being used by the math department and an opportunity for parents to ask questions. Instead it felt like a sales pitch from CPM. The sales rep from the company did not provide convincing or reassuring numbers to support his claims, nor did the questions I have about the new program get answered.

My concern is not that CUSD is moving to an integrated math program or that it is inaugurating a math program that is expanding the focus to conceptual and practical applications for math in addition to teaching procedural methods for solving math problems. I appreciate the concept of learning by discovery.  My problem is with the classroom application of these ideas. Moving from a lecture/individual work model to an entirely group work based format has been disruptive and unsettling to all three of my kids in CUSD schools, most especially to my oldest.

My oldest is a junior taking a weighted honors pre-calculus class. He had signed up for AP calculus but was advised to take this honors pre-calculus course because he had a heavy load of other AP courses. We were not informed that this radical shift was taking place that has caused him more stress than the calculus would have. An upper level honors text that uses fifth grade vocabulary to describe function machines and happy Harold doesn't seem to promise adequate preparation for college board exams and success in college level mathematics, especially if a lot of time is spent learning the system, instead of advancing in knowledge. Mr. Nugent several times mentioned that this is a system that promises "mastery over time." Juniors don't have that time.

So my questions are these:
1. Why was this new approach not announced before the school year started so that proper course selection could take place? Why is it being applied to upper level courses instead of beginning with the lower grades and letting it move up to the higher levels as the kids who are introduced to the method age up?

2. Why is the classroom time devoted almost entirely to group work instead of using an integrated approach to learning to accommodate students with different learning styles and personalities? For instance, would it be possible to have one day of lecture, one day of individual work or independent study, one day of group work and one day of assessment or additional group work? Ms. Gallant asked parents to think about their math instruction; my attitude toward math changed because of the infectious enthusiasm and deep knowledge of a great teacher. The group work model deprives kids of that inspiration - and deprives teachers of the opportunity to share their love for their subject.

3. All three of my kids report at least one of the students in their groups copies answers and doesn't contribute. How does that student not fall through the cracks? What about the introvert who finds group work painful or the extrovert who distracts the group or the advanced student who is capable of working ahead but is stuck waiting? I understand in theory that the group is supposed to work as a unit and be self-policing as well as teacher moderated, but the teacher has a lot of groups to monitor. As a student and as a teacher I have found that group work never lives up to the ideal.  Why not be truly progressive and integrate different methods of instruction to meet students with different learning styles and abilities and to present information in a variety of contexts and modes?

4. As a military family I am concerned that when we move my students will be at a disadvantage. I also might hesitate to encourage new military families to move to this school system now because it may be difficult for students to transition in. Since CUSD has such a high percentage of military students coming in and going out of the system, I would hope that the approach to teaching would be more global and less focused on group work.

5. Finally, how and when are you assessing whether this approach is working?

I'm sorry that this email is so long and aggravated in tone. I was disappointed in the lack of real information provided at math night, and I am disappointed that this new approach was not explained more fully before school started. Additionally, I wonder why older students were not "grandfathered" out of the radical shift? It feels as if our kids have been thrown into an experiment as guinea pigs without our consent. And to be clear, my frustration is not so much with the content as with the classroom structure that doesn't take into account different learning styles and abilities, and I am primarily upset about the application to the weighted honors class just when these students are supposed to be building confidence and moving toward independent mastery of upper level mathematical concepts.  I mistrust an organization that claims to offer "high quality instruction" but trains the teachers not to teach and instead expects parents to study an ebook to try to help their students who are falling behind. Although Mr. Nugent mentioned that teachers could present the material, my students are reporting that they are discouraged from asking questions during class. As my children's advocate, I want to help them when they are struggling, and I want to be able to have confidence in their education, but I fear the group work approach is not sufficient, nor is it building enthusiasm in their hearts for the wonders of math.

Thanks for reading,
Emily Cook

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From: [the principal]
Sent: Friday, September 23, 2016 1:17 PM
To:
Cc:
Subject: RE: Math night

Dear Cooks,

Thank you for your candid response and questions.  I am going to respond from the perspective of principal, expecting that additional information and perspectives may be provided by others on this email, particularly your children's math teachers.

First, I want to let you know that I attended last night with the mission in part to assess needs for a follow-up CHS Math Night, in which some of the exercises or information you hoped would be shared/experienced, can be. I will be working with our math department to explore the possibility of an additional opportunity to learn about our Integrated Math/CPM curriculum.

To your first question, I must take responsibility for any sense that the integrated approach to math/new curriculum wasn't properly announced or explained. While I hear from you that the curricular approach might have influenced James' choice of course, I think our math and counseling departments and administrative team would agree that placement guidance in math courses was (and is best) focused on which course level was most appropriate for each individual student in the context of other course selections and overall college/career goals.

Choosing and adopting CPM and the integrated approach came after years of continuing our traditional approach while teachers researched, created, and implemented common core strategies without a coordinating curriculum. During this time, we watched as neighboring districts converted to the integrated approach and adopted textbooks and curriculum with an intent to learn from their journey ahead of ours.  Our district and secondary teachers researched CPM, observed it in action in classrooms in the county, and the adoption was approved in the spring.  I know that our teachers, going into summer, felt it was possible to "roll out" curriculum, as you suggest, from the lower levels up over time.  But after weeks of training over the summer (which several of our teachers characterized as the most compelling and effective professional development they've experienced), they were convinced that they needed to fully implement the curriculum in all courses, and that, in fact, the curriculum and students' success would be compromised if it wasn't implemented with fidelity in all its courses.  Fundamental to all of this was a deep and abiding belief among our math teachers that this curriculum is good for students, and they should be exposed to it as soon as possible.

Your children's teachers can most accurately characterize the math instruction in their classrooms, but I think it's fair to say that in every discipline at CHS, and at the heart of common core, is student-centered learning.  I could talk A LOT about this, philosophically, as someone who became a teacher because of the influence of her teachers, but student-centered and teacher-centered approaches don't have to be polar opposites, and we believe our math teachers have the opportunity to guide and motivate and inspire while their students have more opportunities to interact with the content and problem-solving work of math.

Again, our teachers can explain and describe group work more accurately, but I believe we are learning from and about our individual students in their groups, and then learning from them again when their groups shift.  Historically, we have always had passive learners who copied homework and then performed poorly on assessments, and our aim is always to identify and then address those learners' needs.  This challenge continues...but there is no doubt more students are doing more talking about math in our classrooms this year than in the past.

We appreciate dialogue with our families and students, and invite you to continue to ask questions.

Thank you!
, Principal

www.chs.coronadousd.net

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Dear [principal],

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I really do appreciate your openness to communicating with parents, and I commend you as a principal taking the time to address parent concerns patiently and thoroughly. For the most part, CUSD does a good job of sharing information, (although I am not a fan of logging in to multiple platforms to get that information). And to be honest, I did know that changes in the math program were coming, but the message conveyed was that the changes would not effect the upper level math classes, which I assumed included this pre-calculus honors class. In addition, the description of the changes focused on content rather than classroom methodology, which is where my frustration, based on my kids' frustration, lies.

Since I enjoy engaging on these topics, even though I recognize it's an exercise in futility, I'll offer that I am not opposed to variations in pedagogy and am a big fan of project based learning, Socratic seminar classes, and apprentice-type classes, etc.  However, I'd posit that a diversity of approaches is the best approach. I have a hard time not sympathizing with James' complaints about doing group work every day because as an introvert capable of working faster than other students, I found forced, artificial group work painfully punitive; as an adult, I don't think my antipathy toward contrived group work has hindered my ability to collaborate with others in real world and work situations. I worry when James tells me he has no homework this weekend, despite taking 5 classes that are weighted, because his group finished their 4 assigned problems in 10 minutes and spent the rest of math class talking and doing other homework.  And two weeks ago, his class watched an animated movie because they were done early.  I am afraid he is not going to be prepared for future studies. John, my 7th grader, doesn't mind group work, but he is a talker.  Annie is ambivalent, although she is getting pinged with messages all evening because her group doesn't understand, and they want her to explain or just tell the answers. I fully support that teaching others is a great way of learning, but only to the extent that it doesn't interrupt her own study time for other subjects and our family time.

Despite my personal opinion, I can see that some group work could be effective, especially for those students who are more verbally oriented.  Nonetheless, why can't the program take a truly integrative approach and use multiple modalities for helping students achieve mastery? Why rely completely on group work?  Couldn't student centered learning include and benefit from some days of independent study and problem solving? Couldn't the teachers sometimes serve as guides modelling the more complex topics that should be addressed by upper level math programs instead of being monitors who make sure the group is working?  Why not give one day a week over to the teachers to share a few good insights and expand on the topics in order to inspire kids to want to know more and to open their eyes to possibilities for what they can do with what they are learning?  The popularity of teachers like Mr. Lemai and Mrs. Hill seems to demonstrate to me the power of a good teacher - someone who creates relationships with the students, encourages them and makes them feel known, unique, and valuable, while conveying a deep understanding about the value, use, and beauty of the subjects they teach, instead of passively observing and refusing to answer questions.

Finally, I am also admittedly concerned for James because the junior year is usually a stressful and difficult year, one that results in a lot of life altering decisions, and while I no way believe that standardized tests accurately reflect a student's abilities and gifts, and I think the College Board has an unfair stranglehold on college admissions, the truth is that a lot of doors to college and to financial aid depend partially on those admissions tests. I know the SAT has changed so that it no longer includes calculus problems, but I am worried after seeing the vocabulary of James' book that this class is not going to give him and his fellow students the proficiency they will need to take a timed math test on upper level math concepts.  Another suggestion I thought of was that perhaps on these days when the groups finish their work early, they can be treated to some more traditional math problems in preparation for the types of problems they may encounter in later coursework and tests.

Thanks for reading,
Emily Cook

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From: Jim Nugent <jimnugent@cpm.org>
Sent: Friday, September 23, 2016 6:45 PM
To: Leslie Dietiker
Cc: Emily Cook; Jim Nugent
Subject: A parent request for any information you can share regarding our CPM research base

Hi Leslie,

We have a new CPM adoption ongoing in Coronado USD, here in San Diego. I met with parents for an informational meeting earlier this week. Following the meeting, Don and Emily Cook introduced themselves to me. One of their questions concerned the measurable effectiveness of the CPM curriculum. The Cook family has asked me if we could provide more specifics regarding our research base, what we can share regarding outcomes compared to traditional programs and particularly how CPM supports the needs of highly performing students.

Would you be able to provide any information here?

Thanks,

Jim Nugent

CPM Regional Coordinator for San Diego County

www.cpm.org

On Mon, Sep 26, 2016 at 12:16 AM, E Cook wrote:

Hi Ms. Dietiker -
Below is my initial email with specific questions, along with my follow up email to the principal of my students' school.  I am particularly interested in how students perform on standardized tests like the SAT and ACT and the AP exams.

I feel a disservice was done to my junior student by changing a pre-calculus honors weighted class that is taken mostly by juniors before taking AP Calculus. These students don't have time for "mastery over time," but they do have a lot of wasted time in the classroom, even just a month in, that they fill with talk and animated movies.  

Thanks for any facts and figures you can send my way for reassurance, or suggestions for alternative ways of engaging these bright students who have a lot of wasted time on their hands.

Thanks, Emily Cook

Mr. and Mrs. Cook,

I received a reply from the research office with links to CPM research base. I will pass those on to you and add one other link that you would not see within the CPM research base.

There are a number of internal CPM studies examining the performance of CPM schools on standardized tests. Currently they are all located at the bottom of the page at the following link:

http://cpm.org/research-base

The studies are listed chronologically and are varied based on the data that were available at the time as well as what the research needs were when they were conducted. Broadly, though, the results generally indicate that CPM schools perform equivalently - and sometimes a little better - than average. The most recent CA study is at the following link:

http://pdfs.cpm.org/research/CA%20CST%208th-11th%20Grade%20Results%202011-13.pdf

Regarding highly performing students, there have been fewer analyses done. I can provide one analysis (note from JN: this analysis is dated but measures the same CPM calculus text currently in use) demonstrating pretty dramatic increases in calculus enrollment following CPM adoption in honors courses in California schools: 

http://pdfs.cpm.org/research/1995_High_Ability-Calc_Pred.pdf

The last link I can provide is to an outside agency, EdReports, who undertakes analysis of texts from all major publishers. Their research is both impartial and highly regarded. The link I am providing will take you to the analysis page for many current high school texts in publication:

http://www.edreports.org/math/reports/compare.html?level=hs

The EdReport page linked above describes the CPM traditional course series of Algebra, Geometry and Algebra II. Though Coronado has adopted the CPM Integrated series, the courses are based almost entirely on a reordering of the same curricular materials. EdReports is however currently undertaking a similar analysis of the CPM Integrated series. That report will be available in the near future. 

Thanks,

Jim Nugent

On Sports and School

Last night I had the privilege of attending a brainstorming session on creating an ideal school.  The high school here is going to compete to become an XQ Superschool, a program sponsored by Steve Jobs' wife, Laurene Powell.  It was invigorating to meet with other parents, faculty, members of the school board and the community to talk about ideas in education.  And the focus was not on reinventing the wheel or incorporating more technology - it was more about identifying the challenges to learning that kids face and how to create a school that addresses and tries to eliminate these challenges.  There was a lot of consensus on the idea that kids need smaller classes and engaged and engaging teachers. They also need the ability to access classes that stir their curiosity as well as meet their interests, so there was a lot of discussion about changing the length of the school day, week, and year to allow internships or special interest classes.

One idea I really liked was the concept of having kids take one large lecture for a class in high demand like AP US History, and then meet in breakout sessions with smaller groups for discussion and review. So you could have the most dynamic teacher lecture and then let students learn critical thinking by leading discussion groups.  Another idea was changing the traditional language classes to become less about vocabulary and more culture classes where students learn about other cultures and then dialogue with students from that country via Skype or Facetime.

My suggestions were to make learning more expeditionary - go to the ocean front, go to the desert, go to the battlefield. These would require a "flex term" sessions - three or four weeks devoted to special interests classes or projects, which I've seen done at other schools.  Additionally, I'd like to see more fluidity between the community and the school. Invite experts in to teach or lecture.  Have career days or clubs. Get businesses to offer apprenticeships or internships in the community. We live in a place ideal for that because students could walk to a business. They would see how certain skills are necessary in the real world. [A real world skills class was also mentioned: Home ec for the modern day.]  Since this is a public school, involving religion or spirituality wasn't discussed, but several people brought up the idea of educating the whole person.  And the buzzwords resilience and mindset came up also. Grit wasn't mentioned but that's the other buzzword getting tossed around lately - how to teach kids grit.

One way is through sports, I would argue. Sports came up at the very end of the evening. The principal asked about actually doing away with sports. I drafted this note this morning. Kind of presumptuous of me, but in my defense I have had a couple conversations with her at various events that made me feel more comfortable with being long-winded:

Thanks for including parents in the brainstorming meeting for the xqsuperschools project last night. I really enjoyed listening to ideas and getting a chance to add some of my own ideas that have been percolating for years.  As we move around and see bits and pieces of what works and what doesn't at different schools, I always wish we could put together the ideal school where all of these things come together.  And hearing about other people's experiences about what works/what doesn't is also invaluable. Of course, the two biggest indicators of "learning potential" are great teachers and smaller classes where kids get mentored rather than managed, and both of these are hard to realize.  But finding creative solutions like reorganizing classes with "breakout sessions" or inviting "experts" in to inspire students, even if they don't have teaching credentials, were two of the ideas I really liked last night. 

I also wanted to revisit the topic of sports while I am thinking about it. I know I was quick to jump to the defensive when you mentioned doing away with sports last night, but after giving it some thought, I had a couple observations - no solutions, but some ideas to come back to.  First, I do agree that sports can be disruptive of learning and require an immense amount of money and time to manage.  Our last school was a football school, and there was some definite resentment on the part of a some faculty, students, and parents about the time and attention given to football, and for good reason.  On the other hand, the football team actually paid for itself and made the school money through tickets, concessions, and donations.   

I may be biased because  I come from a family of athletes.  I said last night that boys need the competitive outlet, but I was every bit as competitive in spirit as my brother, and my middle daughter isn't afraid to take on her brother's friends on the soccer field, so girls benefit from athletics just as much as, if not more than, boys, as studies have shown.  

I'm sure other studies exist that show how sports can help improve grades and lifelong learning and living habits just as much as the arts can.  As a huge fan of the arts in schools, I was excited about the idea of the school hosting an arts conservatory when we were researching schools. But I am sorry that some of the classes/programs are not more available to students outside of the program.  [Both of my boys would love to be able to take some music classes, but the one band class available didn't fit their schedules and they were told that the band was very competitive.  May be a rumor, but they were discouraged.]

What I think would be ideal is if both sports and the arts were more accessible to average students - students who want the enrichment of learning to play an instrument or golf but aren't going to make a career out of either.  Both sports and the arts teach students habits of mind AND body that are essential for healthy adult lives:  discipline, the value of effort in producing results, the value of creative thinking and problem solving, the value of using different kinds of thinking and moving to reach a goal, the values of teamwork and collaboration, the value of taking care of your health, and sports especially I think provide a social connection that promotes other-focused thinking - in an ideal program.  For instance, as much as I cringe at the violence in football, I think there is something valuable in learning to defend a teammate.  Some people might think it a stretch if I argued that sports teach compassion, but I'm willing to make that claim!  I also appreciate the importance of sports as a type of ambassador outreach to the local and other communities.  In my own experience and in that of my kids, I've seen that sports, perhaps more for individual sports like cross country, swimming, and track, provide an opportunity to interact with kids from other schools and other parts of the state (and other countries when we were in Guam and they participated in Far East competitions.)  Our kids have also experienced this doing things like Knowledge Bowl, Model UN, and Geography Bowl -  elevating the acceptability and the fun aspect of academic competitions is also important.  

So I defend sports as a part of a school program because they are essential to educating the whole person.  I do think that high school sports, especially here in California, have become much too competitive and time consuming. I know CIF has some rules about practice times and travel distances, but in some cases coaches find a way around these rules. Ideally, you'd find brilliant, charismatic coaches who valued balance for students.  The other key is accessibility (allowing kids time to do sports and drama, for instance, or offering more options, like another fall sport for boys besides football and cross country.) This requires both the drama instructors, or whoever, and the coaches agreeing to creative flexibility. 

My fear is that turning sports over to clubs would make them inaccessible because of cost, travel time, and selectivity, at least clubs in the sense of what they are right now.  As you know, sports are becoming elitist at the middle school level because of these highly competitive and expensive clubs, which is a challenge for kids who develop at different rates and may like to try something new.  But if by clubs, you mean something more on the level of an Ultimate Frisbee Club, for instance, that meets at the park on Friday afternoons, or a running or biking or paddleboard club that gets together on weekends, then I am more onboard.  Allowing students to organize and manage some club sports would provide even more opportunities.  The challenge would be finding other communities to play with or against, but without incurring great costs or travels.

In closing, I think returning to this topic could provide even more creative ideas. How to eliminate the time out of class requires the cooperation of coaches and athletic directors willing to postpone competition times or limit them to weekends. How to widen accessibility but also provide an opportunity for students who have the ability to excel are additional challenges. And finally, finding those great coaches who inspire athletes to give their all, without demanding that they make sports their reason for being, is probably the biggest challenge of all. 

A bit too much, probably, but it was cathartic to write - one of those "I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say" moments Flannery O'Connor noted. 

I think the idea of trying to create an ideal school is a fascinating thought project, and as a former home schooler, one I tried to articulate and simplify. I never wrote it down, though.  I really don't think home schooling is the ideal situation - I'd rather send my kids to a small school with a Catholic identity, unlimited funds, and charismatic experts as teachers. Technology use would be limited to being a learning and access tool, rather than an entertainment factor. Learning would require the use of all the senses - field trips, experiments, projects.  There would be plenty of literature, art, music, and sports and community service. All the good things, and none of the peer pressure, college pressure, or competition that gave more emphasis to the athlete rather than the glory of God. We would have 32 hours in the day and 57 weeks in the year.  And parents could go to school, too. 

Online Attention Deficit Disorder

This David Brooks article, "Building Attention Span," from the New York Times a couple weeks ago is brief, but interesting - and coincides with an ongoing discussion at our house about social media. Brooks reports on some research that suggests that the brain is being reshaped by online habits so that it is becomes more "fluid," meaning it moves easily from topic to topic, engages only on the surface level, quickly processes information, moves on, and forgets it.  Online socializing occurs with similar fluidity also - from one topic to another, little engagement, lots of brief encounters.

On the other hand, reading print matter encourages the brain to convert information into knowledge. The brain on print makes more connections, questions material, and ponders issues and ideas. Person to person socializing also occurs in this slower, deeper form - Brooks compares the difference between online learning to print learning as like the difference between attending a cocktail party and being at a book club.  Lots of flitting around between many topics vs. sitting and discussing one topic at length.  Brooks refers to the slower learning as "crystallized intelligence":

"Crystallized intelligence is the ability to use experience, knowledge and the products of lifelong education that have been stored in long-term memory. It is the ability to make analogies and comparisons about things you have studied before. Crystallized intelligence accumulates over the years and leads ultimately to understanding and wisdom.

The online world is brand new, but it feels more fun, effortless and natural than the offline world of reading and discussion. It nurtures agility, but there is clear evidence by now that it encourages a fast mental rhythm that undermines the ability to explore narrative, and place people, ideas and events in wider contexts.

There is a place for both types of knowledge - we need the ability both to gather information and to make a story out of it - as well as both kinds of socializing. Mixers and cocktail parties have their purpose, just as book clubs and long intimate discussions over coffee and dessert do.

I suffer from alternating attraction and revulsion to online socializing. My kids all want to be on Instagram now, and part of me thinks, fine, whatever, it's a nice way to share updates with your friends and family about neat things you have done and seen.  I like to see photos of my nieces and nephews doing cute things and making funny faces. Seeing photos of each other cements a relationship that can only be cultivated over a long distance at this point since we live far from family.

But on the other hand, Instagram, and other photocentric social media sites, are also a way of defining yourself with images.  What you look like, what you like to look at, what looks interesting/fascinating/pretty to you... It does not reveal much about your thoughts and your connections to these images or to anything else.  It is surface information only. And people "read" Instagram by scrolling quickly down a variety of similar photos.  Does the narrative that forms from this type of communication move beyond the barest elements of plot?  There is no doubt that it encourages more interest in appearance than in character - other than encouraging a development of a simplistic, stereotypical type of character (athlete, yogi, inspirational messenger, politico, fashionista, etc.)

I don't think avoiding social media is the right answer - that would be like retreating from the world altogether for teenagers.  But the time and attention devoted to it needs to be balanced by deeper moments, time spent reading or talking or playing or studying or working for pay or on hobbies. The temptation this summer has been to let the kids have extra media time because I have so many things to do, but this article is a good reminder to engage, to sit down to read a book together or play euchre or cook together. Summer is flying by - one more week in our current house.  Packers come on Monday.  Soon the kids will be back in school and we won't have time for these engagements.  And in a little less than a month, I'll be taking my first born off to college - my kid who uses social media the least. Hoping to stayed engaged through the good old fashioned phone.

Parenting dilemmas

It used to be that I had to do background checks on high school girls for babysitters. Now I'm doing background checks on high school girls for homecoming "dates." Eek.

Last weekend was homecoming for my teenagers - the school week had dress up days and class contests. The football game and crowning of princesses was Friday night. And the dance was Saturday. A weeklong festive brouhaha, which to my cynical self seems rooted in a desire to inculcate school spirit in teenagers in order to elicit future donations when these teenagers are middle aged alumni, but to my kinder self is a welcome diversion in the middle of the fall term that seeks to inspire a feeling of community and good will. I had my first job as a substitute last week, and thoroughly enjoyed observing the teenagers rally, while at the same time I thought they probably shouldn't be distracted from their studies. On the other hand, thinking back to A Separate Peace, I wonder if the school tames something in the teen heart by sanctioning a week of theatricality.

The week made me realize we're at another challenging stage of parenting - navigating "relationships."  I was hoping maybe the issue of dating wouldn't come up until college. My older son went to the homecoming dance with a group of friends - one is from a family of five with a kid at Thomas Aquinas College, one is another former home schooler, another is in all the same AP classes. My son asked this last girl to go to the dance with him, but her parents won't let her date, so she bought her own ticket. Great! The tickets were way more expensive than I thought they should be, so I was glad we didn't have to finance another one. While nothing is certain, I felt no hesitation about approving oldest son's request to go out to eat with this group of kids.

My second son asked a girl whose parents we have met several times. They are at church every Sunday and seem like a nice family. But then her friend invited them to go in on a limo ride to the dance after a dinner party at her house beforehand.  This friend has a brother who is a senior who was going in a different limo with his friends to the dance.  Hmm - riding in a limousine sounds like a pretext to drink from flasks. I was hesitant to give permission. I emailed another person whose opinion I trust as well as you can trust someone you've known since August, and this person loves that family and was going to be at the dinner party with her daughter. That made me feel better, but it's no fun to be in the position of making a decision about trusting teenagers. In the end the sophomores did not ride in a limo, but in their parents' Suburbans. And I picked them up at the end of the evening - they said they had a good time, no one appeared disorderly, and the week ended with me realizing my anxiety had been useless as usual.

Parenting is a catch-22. In some regards, it seems like you're doomed if you do, and you're doomed if you don't.  Practice attachment parenting, home school, guard your children's purity, and they rebel against you.  Try to be attentive, attuned, engaged, and they wonder why they aren't happy all the time when they are adults. This article from The Atlantic, "How to Land Your Kid in Therapy," about how young adults who should be well adjusted and satisfied are seeking therapy because they feel anxious about not feeling happy and being unable to make decisions, got under my skin.  The author concludes that these young adults had parents whose focus on ensuring their kids' happiness has backfired by making their grown children less resilient.  It made me question whether we shouldn't just put this next baby in daycare and public school, and I'll work 50 hour weeks and ignore the kid so he'll develop resiliency and learn to suffer.

I followed the reading of that article with Simcha Fisher's article-response to Matt Walsh's rant about public school. More food for thought. I tend to side with Fisher, with experience of private, public, and home school. None of the options are perfect. And every child has different needs. My kids have had some great teachers in public school and Catholic school.  My now eighth grader had a wonderful 7th grade year in public school after being home schooled for 5 years and going to Catholic school for 2 years. His trip to DC for winning the ecybermission competition was the feather in his cap, but he also excelled in drama and band and at the science fair - all things we didn't do at home.  He just got back Iowa test scores and did fabulous, like his two older brothers.

Meanwhile, the three youngers had terrible math scores.  Their language arts scores were fine, which perhaps reflects the fact that they were taught at home for the last 2 years by a teacher who majored in English and doesn't really like math and who was just worn out enough to say, "All right, you can be done with math for the day" when a little more drill or corrections should have been done.

I know, test scores don't assess a child's true gifts, and I'm not really that worried about them. But I see it as an indication that home schooling longer was not a good choice for me or for these kids.

Walsh brought up the history of public schooling in his argument. I've read about John Dewey's crusade for mediocrity. I also know that Catholic schools don't protect kids from bad choices any more than public schools.  But I also see that they offer my kids other opportunities, including that of learning to make good choices. My two oldest wouldn't have signed up to be peer mentors for the confirmation classes if they weren't invited to the high school Bible study by a friend from their school.  Maybe they are making good choices now because I home schooled them for five years or maybe because they went to public school the last two years and saw a lot of kids make bad choices.  Or maybe it's God's grace.

When I assess our parenting style, I see us in the middle of the road. We aren't like the author of the Atlantic article: offering choices about food and shopping and activities hasn't happened often around here - people with a bunch of kids can't please them all, nor can they be arbitrators all the time. We are protective about friends and activities, but I don't think we've sheltered our kids from death, disappointment, disease, deprivation. The Navy has made sure they've felt a little pain. I can be a little bit of a tiger mom about school work and reading, although no where near so much as an Amy Chua; my husband can be a slave driver about keeping the house, yard, and cars clean.  He's not as demanding as his dad was, but we both have tried to drive a message about the virtue of hard work and delayed gratification into the kids' brains.

So I'm hoping my kids won't have to go to therapy when they are older. I hope they won't lose their faith either.  But no school choice comes with guarantees, nor does any parenting style.

Back to The Atlantic article: Aside from making me question my own parenting practices, a regular occurrence, the article raised a bigger question that the author didn't address at all -- why do these people think they should be happy all the time?  Why are they seeking therapy because they don't feel satisfied all the time?  Isn't it normal to feel a little disappointed or melancholy at times?  As a person of faith, that sense of longing for something more and better is the God-shaped hole in the human heart that can only be filled with faith, not a cause for seeking therapy.  It's a human condition, not the result of over-attentive parents. Maybe these attentive parents gave their children misplaced expectations, but isn't it rather a universal experience to find that your childish vision of adult freedom and happiness is an illusion?  So perhaps it's not as important whether we send our kids to school or educate them at home, as long as we teach them that our purpose in life is not earthly happiness, but to know, love, and serve God and be happy with Him forever in eternal life.

Perhaps those therapists mentioned in The Atlantic article will help those young adults learn to recognize the benefits of a little bit of suffering and longing rather than blaming their parents for trying too hard to make them happy.  And I pray that my own kids will learn to recognize the need for faith to guide them in a world filled with choices good, bad, and ambiguous.

On reading Caramelo

Just finished another book that is required reading for my sophomore son: Caramelo by Sandra Cisneros.

Did I mention we have to buy books for this school? Adds another several hundred dollars to the price tag of private education.  Saving grace: the students held a used book sale just before school started where I picked up probably 2/3rds of the books for 1/2- 1/10 of their value, and the internet, where I bought most of the rest, except a couple new textbooks. Caramelo was one of these internet finds, because the teacher didn't use this book last year. Since I bought it for $1, I wanted to get my money's worth, so I sat down to read it when it arrived in the mail.

Interesting, interesting, interesting, especially as a class assignment for 15 year olds.  I'm not sure I approve of it: it has sex, profanity, blasphemy, an unhappy family.

Would I have found it controversial if it weren't a class assignment? If I read it for, say, Navy spouses' book club?  Probably not. I can see middle aged women reading it and loving it. I loved it.

I have a harder time seeing my son loving it.  Except it has sex in it, so maybe that will keep him reading. However, it made me question his teacher's judgment.

Then I remind myself about Shakespeare and Wuthering Heights and The Scarlet Letter, The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, etc.  And some of the junk I read in high school: everything from Vonnegut and Nabokov to Stephen King.  Indiscriminately.

I was going to confront the teacher about it on Back to School Night Wednesday, ask him, "Why this book?" but when I walked in the room and saw all the pro-life bumper stickers on his metal desk, the "Jesus loves nerds" poster, the Good vs. Evil messages in Star Wars posters, a collage of saint cards, promotional posters from performances of Shakespeare, etc, etc, all over the walls, I lost the urge to be confrontational. My son warned me that this teacher was a little eccentric. I loved his room and his presentation. The walls were covered in literary and Biblical quotes. The teacher has the kids doing advanced GRAMMAR work and vocabulary builders everyday.  So he looks a little like a leprechaun, and all the stimulation in the room could encourage ADD, I still felt reassured about the cost of tuition.  This class, at least, will be worth it.

But back to the book: Why does it make me uncomfortable seeing it as one of three novels (the others being A Man for All Seasons and Lord of the Flies) assigned for the year (in addition to Shakespeare and Sophocles in the textbook, along with plenty of short works)?

1. I am a traditionalist when it comes to what books need to be read before you die. I think kids need to be force fed the classics. They are not going to pick up Austen or Dickens, let alone Homer, on their own.  I've done some forcing of my own, but I'd like to see it backed up at school.

2. I understand that literature teachers want to make literature appealing to youth, so they assign books they think students will enjoy. They want kids to like reading, so they assign books that aren't too hard or that are a little controversial. Maybe some teachers want to teach cultural awareness or social justice through literature. They want their students to be voracious and omnivorous readers and to understand the world around them.

I do, too.  I've tried to encourage a love of reading above every other educational goal (to the detriment of my younger kids' grasp of math facts).  I'm right with whoever it was who said give a kid a love of books and then stand back for the rest of their education.

But I think we need to teach students how to evaluate what they read by encouraging them to read good books - books with depth of meaning and language. I know I read without judgment as a teenager, and it was because I wanted to know why some books were considered "great" or "classics" that I chose a great books program for my college major. I loved all the books I read - I still mostly do - but it's hard to discriminate between preference and taste and quality without reading those "great" books at some point.

3. There are a lot of books in the world and a limited amount of time in which to read them. Which books deserve our time and attention?

While Caramelo is an interesting read, written in a lyrical style, evocative of an age and a culture which may be unfamiliar to many sophomores, I'm not sure it's one of those books you need to read before you die.  I'd prefer to see something more traditional on the reading list.  I hope the class is reading ALL of Antigone and not just selections. Antigone also has a dysfunctional family and the play contains violence, love affairs, and unhappiness, but it champions virtue and honor. Does Caramelo?

I'm still sorting it out. Don't get me wrong: I really liked reading it, and I'm glad I read it after just having moved to California, home to so many immigrants from Mexico and heavily influenced by Hispanic culture.  I think it opened my eyes to aspects of the Mexican-American culture, and I liked the way Cisneros used flashbacks and conversations with dead people and shifting perspectives to tell the story. In the end, it does come around to defending the family ties that both bind and support. It shows how people we may find difficult to love often have dark backstories that cripple their emotions.

And despite my prudish response to the earthy elements of the story, the vision at the end of the novel is one I agree with.  A summary:

The novel is the story of three generations of the Reyes family told primarily from the perspective of one of the granddaughters, who is the youngest and only girl. Lala, in a family of seven kids born to the favorite of three sons.  The relationships are untangled slowly.  Cisneros uses lots of dialogue, many flashbacks and stories told by one character to another, frequent references to Mexican history, which is often explained in chapter endnotes, and many Spanish words and quotations. Most of the Spanish is explained in context or in endnotes. I could figure it out without being a Spanish student, but this unconventional style might be difficult for some teenagers.  Her writing is colorful and unconventional. I can see my son complaining that he can't figure out who is talking or what they are saying in Spanish or about the frequent diversions into Mexico's convoluted history.

The meandering plot follows Lala's coming to understand her Reyes family and her grandmother, and her father, the oldest of three sons who immigrate to Chicago as young men to run away from their mother and toward a dream of more financial stability running an upholstery shop together.  Every summer they drive from Chicago to their birthplace to spend time with their parents and sister.  Lala's reminiscing about these family vacations is the starting point of the novel, but it moves into a circuitous explanation of the personalities and relationships that both destroy and knit family bonds.

The characters are fiery and dramatic.  They have secrets in their pasts that explain why they snap at their children or cajole or complain.  They hold close memories of happy moments that they are always mourning or dreams that they can never quite fulfill.  The parents and children and husbands and wives and siblings curse each other and slam doors and poke each other where it hurts most. But they are proud of their family name. They have traditions that they cling to, even though they are difficult and painful. They are intent on keeping the family together even though they seem to hate each other most of the time.

As I read I found myself thinking: is a teenager going to think that this is a story about the way families hurt each other or the way they support each other? Would the way this story reveals the weaknesses of the older generation encourage a young reader to wish that Lala would throw off her feelings of connection with these crazy family members and live her own life? What about all the affairs? Should Grandmother have kicked him out? Should Father have run away with her? Is life just full of failed love affair after failed love affair?

There are plenty of criticisms of Catholic culture, also. Lala's mother scorns religion.  Lala's father is ambivalent. Lala doesn't want to go to Catholic school. Only the crazy grandmother remains devoted to Our Lady of Guadalupe.

But if the sophomores stick with the book until the last few pages, they will find that Lala finds comfort in faith:

I walk over the the basilica. The streets turned into trashy aisles of glow-in-the-dark Guadalupes, Juan Diego paperweights, Blessed Virgin pins, scapulars, bumper stickers, key chains, plastic pyramids. The old cathedral collapsing under its own weight, the air ruined, filthy, corncobs rotting in the curb, the neighborhood pocked, overpopulated, and boiling in its own stew of juices, corner men hissing psst, psst at me, flies resting on the custard gelatins rubbing their furry forelegs together like I-can't-wait. 

The old church is closed. They've built an ugly new building with a moving escalator in front of Juan Diego's tilma. Poor Virgen de Guadalupe. Hundreds of people ride the moving conveyor belt of humanity. The most wretched of the earth, and me among them, wearing my grandmother's rebozo knotted on my head like a pirate, like someone from the cast of Hair. 

I didn't expect this. I mean the faith. I mixed up the Pope with this, with all this, this light, this energy, this love. The religion part can go out the window. But I didn't realize about the strength and power of la fe. 

A wisp of a woman sweeping herself feverishly with a candle. A mother still in her apron blessing herself and blessing her daughters. A ragged viejita who walked here on her knees. Grown men crying, machos with their lips mumbling prayers, people with so much need. Help me, help me!

Everybody needs a lot. The whole world needs a lot. Everyone, the women frying lunch putting warm coins in your hand. The market sellers asking, - What else? The taxi drivers racing to make the light. The baby purring on a mother's fat shoulder. Welders, firemen, grandmothers, bank tellers, shoeshine boys, and diplomats. Everybody, every single one needs a lot. The planet swings on its axis, a drunk trying to do a pirouette. Me, me, me! Every fist with an empty glass in the air. The earth throbbing like a field ready to burst into dandelion.

I look up, and la Virgen looks down at me, and, honest to God, this sounds like a lie, but it's true. The universe a cloth, and all humanity interwoven. Each and every person connected to me, and me connected to them, like the strands of a rebozo. Pull one string and the whole thing comes undone. Each person who comes into my life affecting the pattern, and me affecting theirs.

That pretty much sums up the whole of the novel.  It closes with an anniversary party. Friends, old and new, and relatives, close and far, come together and eat and dance.  A brief vision of the heavenly beatitude.

"La Divina Providencia is the most imaginative writer. Plotlines convolute and spiral, lives intertwine, coincidences collide, seemingly random happenings are laced with knots, figure eights, and double loops, designs more intricate than the fringe of a silk rebozo. No, I couldn't make this up. Nobody could make up our lives." 

If only the 15 year olds will stick with it to the end.


* p.s. Another critical look at what young adults read: Megan Cox Gurdon's "The Case for Good Taste in Children's Books", a retake on a controversial article from a couple of years ago.

Summer's end

After a summer of indecision, our fall is shaping up. Here’s the final fall out:

We will not be moving next summer. That is the biggest news, and the most disappointing.  Another well qualified officer was chosen for the position my husband had put his name in for.  It would have been a great experience, but now it is clear that we will be staying put for the full three years in Guam. I’d like to say that I am relieved to know something at least, instead of being unsure about the future, but this was not the something I wanted to know!

The next decision: schooling. 

Over time it has become obvious that my youngest son would do better in a more structured environment.  In other words, he just doesn’t listen to me. Everything’s a battle. I don’t want him to think that learning involves warfare with your mother. He did well in school in Mississippi, so I feel good about the decision to send him to the DODEA school, which starts next week.

The 12 year old is also going to school there. He’s a more willing student, so I’m conflicted about sending him, but he is, like his older brother, motivated by competition, and he’s an extrovert.  Ironically, that same older brother, the introvert, thinks the 12 yr old should stay home because he sees that there is much to learn at home. If it weren’t for sports, I think the oldest would happily return to homeschooling for high school. Or rather, internet-schooling.

Meanwhile, the two girls are staying home by desire, which made my choice easier.  The 6 yr old is a Miss Priss and easily swayed by groupthink, so I worry about her going to school.  I know I’m caving to a wish to shelter her, instead of responding to wish to share my love of learning, but I’m hoping she’ll at least learn to like reading by the end of the year, instead of resisting it more.  The 10 year old is less girly-girly, but she also is a follower, and seeks affection and approval. I’d rather she get that from me. The thing I’m going to have to work on is keeping these two interested. I’m going to have to get crafty, I’m afeared.  Or they will defect from me and want to go to school too.

That means I’m going to have to fight the tendency to prefer to work on the classes I am teaching at the community college, which started last week.  I picked up a second class, composition, in addition to the literature class. Since I never took a composition class, teaching it requires extra planning on my part; it’s too late to teach these students to write the way I learned: read and read and read, though we’ll read in class. When I taught Freshman Composition in Mississippi, I was following someone else's syllabus. That plan didn't seem intuitive enough to me, so I'm trying something different.

After teaching two classes so far, I'm convinced my literature class is going to be fun - it's a small group, but interested and inquisitive - while the composition class is going to require some magic tricks.  I think that there might be one student who likes writing, but the rest of them just don't want to be there. Judging by their assessment essays, I'm going to have to review some basic grammar.  

Even though I struggle to come up with a plan for this composition class, I’d rather spend time planning a classroom lecture for college kids than a lapbook or display board for a 5^th and 1^st grader.   I’m hoping they’ll be happy to do a lot of reading outloud together and call it school.

While I hemmed and hawed about the school decision, summer rushed to a close.  The younger kids participated in the Missoula Children's Theater production of "Beauty Lou and the Country Beast," which they loved immensely despite the cheesiness of it.  We watched A LOT of Olympics (about Guam Olympians here).  I was inspired to race an Olympic length triathlon (1.5K swim, 40 K bike, 10 K run) last weekend, and got 2nd out of the women (out of about 5, but the first place girl was at least 10 years younger than me.)  Now walking is painful.

And we've been puppy sitting for a couple weeks for a cute dog. The kids ask for either a dog or a baby regularly. 

Yes those are Bart Simpson comic books. Summer isn't officially over.

Then sports practices began: football for one, cross country for the other and soccer for the final four.  This means I spend a LONG part of my day shuttling kids places. This does not make me happy, other than for the fact that it makes them very happy. Practice is the highlight of their days, rain or shine.

My orchid was working on its third shoot before a recent squall.

Now the broken stems from the garden are on the window sill.

And raining it is has been. Lots of rain. I thought I’d have to push the car to dry land one day, but it floated through a mini-sea on its own.  Monsoon season is here, and a typhoon system has been forming in the Pacific. I’m hoping it doesn’t have power to arrive here. We survived two years in Mississippi without facing a hurricane, and I’d be happy to leave the Pacific without ever having weathered a typhoon.



We did catch a break in the rain to take a last boonie stomp to Priest's Pools and one of the mass graves of Chamorros after they were massacred by the Japanese during WWII.

Outside of the War in the Pacific National Park's visitor center. Great new exhibit there.

Summertime and easy living, but tough decisions

We've been sort of busy the last couple of weeks, but somehow running around here never seems like quite the hassle that it is elsewhere.  No traffic, short distances, a beautiful sky to look at, sometimes a scarlet sunset, sometimes storm clouds or rainbows. 

The kids participated in Totus Tuus Vacation Bible School this week. I can't praise this program enough. The youngers went in the morning and the middle schoolers and high schoolers went in the evening. A team of four college students, two girls and two boys, from Colorado provided all the labor. We just dropped the kids off, donated some snacks, and helped ferry and feed the college students.

All the kids loved it. They were excited to go, they talked and talked about what they did, and they LOVED the team members. They were cheerful, energetic, inspired kids.  We had them over for dinner and a coconut husking demonstration one night. I experimented with chicken kelaguen, which turned out a bit dry, but the team ate and ate.  I loved seeing my olders interact with them, asking questions, laughing, telling stories. The college kids were great role models of how someone intensely faithful can still be "cool" and fun to be around. 


Another night there was a potluck at the chapel, and my 7 year old asked if he could do Totus Tuus again next year, and I said, of course, but it might be different leaders.  He almost started crying.  

We also got to hang out with the team at the beach and on a hike and at a party at the end of the week. The chapel community really pulled together to show the kids the best of Guam.

The older boys enjoyed it so much they invited their Baptist friends on the second night. That night the topic was “The Body of Christ.” I was a little worried about what I’d hear back from their mom, but they wanted to go again the next night – when they talked about relationships.  Even with that embarrassing topic, they came again  the third night for adoration and confession (even though I'm pretty sure they didn't go to confession), and would have finished off the week if they hadn't left on vacation. A compliment to the team.

The last day  of Totus Tuus the fire truck came to wash the kids after they had a shaving cream war.

This is a great model for VBS.  The kids really like the college kids, the college kids get to brush up on their salvation history as well as have a great time in Guam. (They’ve gone snorkeling and boonie stomping, site-seeing and paddle boarding, all in the little free-time they have.) And best of all, the moms don’t have to exhaust themselves doing all the song and dance routines and cheap foam crafts that go along with planning and presenting VBS. The kids didn't bring home any crafts, but they still enjoyed this week better than any they've attended before.

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Summer vacation didn't officially start until the last day of school, June 14^th.  The following week, my older daughter was able to participate in the Reef Rangers camp put on by the National Park Service – a pretty sweet deal for free.  She did a couple field trips to sites of maritime merit, went snorkeling and put on little eco-skits at the end of the week. I don’t know if she learned anything new, but she did get to see some endangered species that are being bred by the agriculture department – the famous ko'ko bird and a Marianas Fruit Bat, also known as fanihi, particularly when cooked in coconut milk. 

I learned a little about fanihi myself – not only have they been overhunted, but since they only have one offspring a year, they have been severely depleted by the brown tree snakes.  My boys have been doing their part to exterminate this serpentine invasive species by hunting them at night along the fence line.  (They took the Totus Tuus boys hunting one night.)

Reef Rangers putting on a skit about sea turtles

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My research into native endangered species was a part of my preparation for scout camp. The week before Totus Tuus, the older boys and my husband the scoutmaster braved the rain and bugs for scout camp that was quite different from their other experiences. But since their expectations were extremely low, they ended up enjoying themselves more than they expected. I taught the environmental science merit badge, my first participation in scout camp, and probably enjoyed myself more than the boys.  It made me more confident that I would enjoy teaching fulltime. It also made me wonder why I didn’t do more planning for activities like this to make our home school experience more rich.

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So as soon as I made up my mind that I wanted to teach, I heard from the school that I’d applied to that they had decided to hire someone with more experience. No surprise. I wouldn’t hire me either, if I didn’t know me.  Although I would have put my heart into teaching literature, I had some doubts about how to present the material and come up with assignments in a manner that would be engaging, relevant, and substantive to eighth graders.  And those doubts probably came through in the second interview I had. Instead of telling the department chair about my experiences and plans, I asked her questions about her teaching style. It was a good conversation, but it probably didn’t give her much confidence in my ability. And as my mom pointed out, my ambivalence about the job probably showed.  Since none of the kids wanted to go there, it’s a bit of a relief, but I can't help being disappointed, not only because I do feel certain the kids would have received a good education there, but I would have sincerely enjoyed the opportunity.

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Now it’s back to the drawing board: make the commitment to home school again, go with the DOD school, or look into other options -- online school? The Baptist school on the island? The diocesan schools, unfortunately, do not keep up with the standards of learning that I'd like to see.  

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Part of the reason I think our home school experience was a chore by the end of the year is because instead of leading, I ordered the kids around. I relied on their books to do most of the teaching, instead of presenting material, which can be, I assume, pretty typical among home schoolers. I did not sit down every evening to plan the next day, as I would do if I were being paid to teach, as I did for my college class.  I don't know why I failed to work as hard at educating my own kids as I would at teaching other people's children.

Then there's the fact that the kids behave 30 times better for other people than they do for me. So would the DOD school be better for them, even though its academic standards may not be what I would like, because they would be practicing the virtues of obedience, responsibility, listening, etc?

My ambivalence about home schooling is influenced somewhat by seeing my older boys develop into their own persons as they interact with other adults and students. I struggle to do things like let them spend the money they are earning mowing lawns on baseball caps.  I want them to be like me, or like what I envision them being.  But I am also pleased to hear them praised by their teachers and coaches.  I don’t have the time or interest to learn about some of the things they find interesting, so I’m glad they are getting taught about WWII battles by someone who is really fascinated by warfare.  Ideally, all their teachers would be as passionate about their subject matter as this history teacher is, but I’m not sure that enthusiasm is always evident from certain teachers.

So the planning pendulum swings again. Swing to the right: I heard negative things about a teacher at the DOD school – apparently she doesn’t like boys.  And I got the Seton home school catalog today, which made me think, “Maybe if I followed a program…”

Swing to the left: I had to shut one of my daughters in her room this afternoon for misbehavior. She just turned her crying volume up full blast for everyone’s enjoyment.  That would not happen at school.

Maybe a magical new alternative will appear. . .

In the immediate future, the biggest decision is where to snorkel next . . .

A friendly octupus 

Some friends trying out our paddle board

Worn out after a busy week