Advent is drawing to close. The shortness of this year's season has me wishing for more time - that last long purple candle will maybe be lit once. We're actually reusing last year's candles this year, so all of our candles have been lit, but if they weren't, I might make an effort to light it at lunchtime just to see the taper burn!
Although I titled this post "Advent Reflections," I don't have any wise words about the Scriptures. I have have struggled to pay attention in Mass, and I haven't picked up a book with any spiritual content in weeks. My preparations for the season have been very different this year. I usually do try to read an Advent book; this year I have been reading student work. We usually have some sort of Advent calendar or at least start our Jesse tree countdown. This year, I've been counting down the days left of school, and the days left till our kids come home. We've put up the basic decorations - lights around the trees outside and around the front door. Thanks to our Boy Scout friend's fundraiser, we have a beautiful garland and swag on the front porch. And we do have a lovely tree, especially compared to last year's, which may have been the second worst tree we've ever had. Nothing can top the homeliness of the Menard's tree we had that was so dead it was spray painted green. Most of the needles were gone by New Year's.
And we have our nativities up. These are some of my favorite decorations. Our high schooler wanted us to keep the decor minimal. She does not like my clutter or lack of a theme. She is right that most of our decorations look tired, much like how I feel. But the nativities are up, and I've ordered a couple new figures for the Fontanini set since our youngest doesn't remember adding any new ones. I wish I had thought to order them for St. Nicholas day, which was pretty minimal this year for the two at home, although I managed to back some spritz cookies to add to popcorn and hot chocolate at school.
Teaching this semester has been exhausting and humbling. I took on too much by continuing to tutor for the writing center of the college near our house and to teach the online military education course, and some of my fears about not spending enough time with our daughters have been realized. In other ways, since I am on the same campus with them, I see them throughout the day, and I am more in touch with what is going on in their daily lives at school. My feelings about teaching are complex, and I've been trying to sort them out, but I'll save that for another post.
Instead, I wanted to reflect on what has been a blessing here, now that it is nearly Christmas. I haven't documented the last six weeks of our lives, and much has happened. Our second oldest son is engaged! He has been dating his fiancee for almost four years, so we've been anticipating this news for awhile, but we are thrilled it is official! He proposed the weekend before Thanksgiving, so we all were able to toast to their engagement Thanksgiving weekend, which we spent in Maine. We rented an AirBNB about an hour from Boston on the Maine coast. This place was hidden gem in a beautiful little neighborhood with rocky cliffs for a front yard. It was so pretty and comparatively affordable that I thought it might be a scam listing. But gladly it wasn't! The whole family was able to come, along with my husband's brother's family, who also live in Boston now. And on Friday, our future daughter-in-law's family also joined us to celebrate the happy couple. The weekend was as near perfect as it could be - no big arguments, everyone slept well, the weather was perfect - the first stormy evening was dramatic followed by mild sunny days, the kids - I should say, young adults - all were happy and engaged with each other. It was truly a dream vacation.
The entire week of Thanksgiving was a blessing - we started the week with a few days at my parents' house. Not all of the kids could join us there, but our oldest daughter came out since she works from home and was able to work at my parents' even with their weak wifi service Monday and Tuesday. It was a quiet visit, although my brother and sister and their kids came out. My sister has bought a little river house, so we had a sister's kayaking trip from her front yard. A topic of the weekend that was bit gloomy was elder care as my parents are facing some health issues. The need is not imminent, but many of my parents' friends have begun to downsize and discuss future plans. To highlight the tenuousness of life, a friend of ours had a mini-stroke and so did our college son's roommate. Both guys are fine, but these events are certainly a call to embrace each day.
While Thanksgiving week was the highlight of November, we also fit in a couple mother-daughter college visits, one of my favorite bonding experiences. Our senior daughter has had mixed emotions about running in college, and she is not particularly fervent about any school. This makes the college search process both easier and harder. I have had to struggle with my own ambitions in this case. A work in progress.
Our other big event recently was hosting a Christmas party for my husband's work. I actually missed a couple of parties that I had been invited to last week in order to finish some schoolwork and prep for this event. Strategically placing the minimal decor and cleaning were top priorities. Menu planning, shopping, etc, were also a bit more stressful since I barely knew anyone who was coming, and I was eager to please this crowd. Happily, they were easier to please than I imagined. People don't really care about houses and menus - they just like to get together to socialize. This event was a reminder of how appreciated hospitality is. My husband received several meaningful thank you notes to this effect. His office hasn't had a Christmas party in years, and never at a home. This was our exercise in Christmas season hospitality. Trying to follow the example of the innkeeper by offering a humble space, although it's pretentious to compare our house to a stable.
On the other hand, my heart is not the warm and welcome place it should be. It's crusty with selfishness and pride that need to be excavated. I'm thankful for the cyclical nature of the liturgy for these seasonal reminders to examine my conscience and scrape out those dark spaces, so there is more room for the light of hope, joy, faith, love. I am easily weighed down by a to do list that becomes a chore rather than a pleasure of serving those I love. Sometimes I wonder why I take the time to return to this blog, but this little moment of reflection here has stirred again those coals of covered up by the dark and reminded me how much I have to be grateful for. Although the shopping is not done, the decorations for the tree are still in a box, and I haven't had time to read a soul enriching book, taking this moment here to recall these blessings is a reminder of why the church year includes periods for rest and reflection.
If I don't post again before Christmas, I send many wishes for a Merry Christmas full of many moments to pause and give thanks and of new memories to be grateful the next time you have occasion to pause.
