The promised storms of El Nino haven't delivered the impact or rainfall that was predicted, but there still has been a flurry of activity around here. Hence, two weeks into March with no blogging. Time for a family update.
Spring soccer and spring track are underway. I am helping coach the middle school track team, which entails that I show up from 3:30 -5 and make sure that the kids stretch and run. I'm really just an extra body, although someday I'd like to do some real coaching. I'm glad to just be out on the track with my two middle school kids. On Tuesday nights, my fourth grader and I are still going to track night with the San Diego Track Club, which has a long and storied history. She runs with the kids club, which is coached by an Olympic hopeful. The best part is the healthy snack at the end - usually some dried fruit or nuts from Trader Joe's. Several members of the adult group are training for the Olympics, and quite a few are training for the Boston Marathon. Not everyone comes every week, but over a hundred people show up regularly, I would guess. We break into 4 pacing groups, and I am proud of myself for being able to run with the back part of the fast group.
The two high schoolers finished rugby season and now are taking a break from sports - the oldest is working and supposedly applying for scholarships, and the sophomore is rehearsing for a school production of 1984. The newly minted eighteen year old has also been avidly following the debates and then the primaries, partly as a homework assignment for his government class, partly because he is excited to practice his civic duty for the first time. Meanwhile, I remain baffled by the whims of the American public and can only pray that someday a philosopher king will step up and take things in hand. Until then,
The baby has become quite verbal and is increasing her fine and gross motor skills. She remains a little tentative about playing with kids her own age, but loves babies, and relates well with big kids and friendly grown-ups. I babysat a friend's 14 month old a couple days, and she loved it. She wanted to help feed, diaper, carry, and push the baby. We went to story time, the park, and the little market to enjoy the nice weather, but if I were going to do this regularly, I'd have to get a double stroller. I think it would be good for the baby to have a sibling close in age, but every time I think about having one myself, I start to panic. The idea I like best, aside from sticking with the status quo, is to wait until she is in the 5-7 age range, when we have at least one kid close to graduating from college and independence, and two more in college, and then to foster or adopt a child around the same age. I admire people who foster and adopt, and I like the idea of skipping the potty training stage. We also might be closer to settling down somewhere out of the Navy. That transition should feel nearer as we hit 20 years this summer, but it doesn't.
In between a baby that might like the socializing, and a fourth grader who doesn't like the social atmosphere at school, I have been exploring different ideas for school next year. So it was that I followed the recent home school vs. traditional school blog debate with interest. I can understand why Simcha Fisher has defended her decision to send her kids to school, as well as the motive behind posts like that from Tom Hoopes about his decision to keep home schooling. I was one of the people Simcha referenced who feared public school, but I have found that, in our case, it has been a fine decision. It is not the den of iniquity I feared it might be at one time. On the other hand, I really feel that home schooling has true merits, especially the ideal home school that I imagined in my head, where all my kids would be avid readers, creative thinkers, and natural scientists. We had some really great home school days, but we had some really rough ones, too. I truly appreciate the opportunities and the mentors my kids have found in their schools. In retrospect, I'm happy we did things the way we did, experiencing both worlds. Of course, every child is different, every parent is different, and every family is different. And every parent, I would guess, occasionally second guesses his or her decisions, but defends them if asked.
My Lenten spiritual reading has been reminding me that peace comes through accepting life as it is. I've been reading more Jacques Philippe, this time his
Interior Freedom. I've underlined quite a bit, lines like "The attitude to aim for is
consent. Compared with resignation, consent leads to a completely different interior attitude. We say yes to a reality we initially saw as negative, because we realize that something positive may arise from it. This hints at hope. . . . The ultimate difference between resignation and consent is that with consent, even though the objective reality remains the same, the attitude of our hearts is very different."
So it is with moving. At first, everything about our new home seems negative and difficult. But every single place we move has wormed its way into a place of affection in our hearts. Even when we are making compromises right and left with school, homes, churches, and activities. I find I am very susceptible to envy when I read the internet too much. Someone else has a prettier house, a nicer garden, a better school or home school situation. But when I don't think about what I would rather have, and instead look at the good things we do have, I am much more at peace with where we are. When else are we going to live in a fairy tale house in a town where people pay thousands to vacation?
And right now life is full: I finally found another teaching job and start teaching a hybrid class tomorrow - mostly students stationed at a base on an island off the coast. I get to fly out tomorrow on a little plane that goes out there daily to introduce the class. I'm really super excited about this! Fun for mom! I've been spending hours trying to adapt my course material to accommodate the online format as well as a condensed time frame - only 8 weeks. I've been culling readings and shortening assignments and trying to figure out how to craft some collaborative opportunities online, but they feel forced and artificial. On the other hand, I am also being forced to be more intentional and direct about goals and why I am having them do certain things, which is helpful. Here's hoping all goes smoothly!
Finally, a number of social events have been keeping us busy: the biggest event was hosting our college son and the ND rugby team for a pasta supper. They were on this side of the country for some games over spring break, so we got to see our kid, watch the team play, and get to meet his coaches and teammates. And for a bonus, it was his birthday week! So we celebrated his 19th birthday with the team. I loved hearing their deep voices serenade him with the birthday song. We gave ourselves dispensation from Lent to eat cake. (I bought 2 half sheet cakes from Cosco instead of baking. I spent most of the day cooking 15 lbs of pasta, 10 lbs of meat and preparing a Caesar salad from 12 heads of Romaine.) It was a great long weekend.
This past weekend, we got all gussied up to go to the Seabee Ball. This event always falls during Lent because it is around the birthday of the Seabees on March 5. (aged 74, Watch John Wayne in
The Fighting Seabees for a highly fictionalized but dramatic account of their origin.)
I do not go to get my hair, nails or face done, as many ladies do, but I did finally get a hair cut. We also gave ourselves dispensation to have a glass of wine and some creme brulee in honor of the occasion. (It happens after the Sunday Vigil Mass, so we tell ourselves we are invoking the "Sundays are a little Easter" idea.)
A trip to the botanical gardens put us in the mood for spring. I do miss apple blossoms, but we found some blooming here and covered in bees, We all loved the succulent topiary people, but some of the garden art is a little frightening, like the jester below. This particular garden has not one, but two really good children's gardens with a giant tree house, a miniature train layout, a tiny English garden with a play house and a dinosaur nest with sand to dig and eggs to sit on. Lots of fun.
We returned to Mission San Diego de Alcala for another field trip.I went as a driver. The docent did a good job of explaining mission life without getting into the complex politics of the time period and the relationship between the Spanish missionaries, soldiers, and natives. She did describe the brutal death by bludgeoning of Fray Jaime, who is buried at the church and is memorialized in a little garden and by a rather graphic painting in the recreated casa de padres. My understanding of California history continues to grow through my fourth graders lessons.
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| Wait, this big guy isn't a missionary to California. Someone played a funny trick on my husband at work. |
Lent this year has flown by - I've been keeping up with my attempt to read the daily gospel most days, and have really limited my social media usage to weekends, which has been a penance with a real benefit of giving me more time and less mental distraction - I want to continue this discipline. We've also been saving a bit for the cardboard alms box with simple suppers, no desserts, and cutting out wine and beer during the week. Our church here also has the Friday Stations and soup suppers. It is not quite as well attended by families as it was at our last parish, which is disappointing to our kids, but we enjoy getting to know some of the older parishioners at the dinners. We also went one night to the parish mission, but it wasn't compelling enough to make us leave home - where we have plenty to do - on the following nights. The best thing our parish hosted was the 24 hours of Adoration and Confession for mercy, which was really well attended. There is something profoundly peaceful about going to church in the middle of the night. Our hour went by all too quickly.
And so life goes on. That practice of accepting the way things are continues to be a practice that I have to work on, tamping down wistful thinking, what ifs, regrets, anxieties. But occasionally, moments of interior peace flood my soul, providing the consolation that all will be well. All is well. I was driving across the Bay early the other morning, and experienced once again - a familiar feeling now, after being the stranger for months - that wave of contentment, that sense of feeling at home, even if just for a moment. Those people in those cars, in all that traffic - they are my brothers and sisters. That skyline is a testimony to people of vision and determination. That endless gray ocean and that infinite blue sky minimize the vast city, make it appear a small place, where neighbors do their best to try to get along. It was a moment when all seemed right in the world, despite wars and politics and distances. There are good people here and everywhere. There are beautiful places here and everywhere, no one right place to live, no one right way. Everywhere at some time is home to someone.
