Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Encounter with holiness



I know a few saintly people, but I've only been in the presence of one true saint while he was alive.  Here are a couple photos from the Vatican Piazza nine years ago - it was at the beatification of Mother Teresa, which happened to be the same weekend as John Paul II's twenty-fifth anniversary and a consistory of cardinals. It was great time to be in Rome - with people from all over the world in attendance, the reality of the universal Church was visibly evident and the joy in the crowd was palpable.


Happy All Saints' Day.
All holy men and women, pray for us.



See the babies? One is my daughter and one is my cousin's baby.
This one is actually from about1993. That's my husband's hand that JPII is holding. He had to knock down a couple nuns to get this close.


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Working through the stack


About a month ago I finished Great Expectations, a project that took about 20 years.  I can’t say how many times I have picked up this book and put it down again without progressing very far. Actually, the honest truth is, I would simply see the book on my shelf and feel its disapproval with me for not reading. Waiting. Mocking. Pitying.

But joy! Finally, I began the book, dragging my feet a bit at the beginning, until at last I began to feel a kinship with Pip and Joe and an interest in their well-being.  Once Pip went away to London, I was spending more and more time in the bathroom catching up on his comings and goings and becoming attached to his friends.  Dear Mr. Wemmick, Mr. Jaeger’s clerk, and his Aged P. Poor Mr. Pocket and Matthew.

It wasn’t the plot that kept me returning. That Miss Havisham was not Pip’s benefactress was always obvious, as was the link with the criminal Mr. Magwitch from the Moors, although I didn’t guess his connection to Estella. The characters are all so much more eccentric than modern characters, although I have to admit they seem familiar – several of them resemble some people I know in some way or another. But really it was Dickens’ language that I couldn’t get enough of.  So rich, so varied - especially after reading contemporary fiction lately. I felt the same way after rereading “Young Goodman Brown” by Nathaniel Hawthorne again for my literature class. Yes, you have to go back and reread a few passages to make sure you properly followed all the turns of phrase. And sometimes it seems like being more direct would be beneficial to the flow of the story. But the imagery and vocabulary are so much more vivid than most of the short stories we read for class. It’s like the difference between European chocolate and Hershey’s. Hershey’s is good, but no match.

My edition of the book included two alternate endings, along with a biography of Dickens that seemed to suggest he preferred the ending in which Estella and Pip remain estranged. I have to admit that I preferred that ending myself. It seemed more natural, like Pip’s punishment for his superiority towards Magwitch and Estella’s for her inability to empathize and love, although in a story where all the plots and relationships tie up in a pretty neat little circle, perhaps the ending that sold better – the one with Pip and Estella reunited – is the way to go. Maybe Estella and Pip are humbled for their mistakes and able to love each other for who they are.

*******
Speaking of contemporary fiction, I also finished Clare Vanderpool’s Moon Over Manifest, a newer young adult book – came out in 2010 and won a Newberry medal.  I had to make my 10 year old daughter read it, and she didn’t love it, (She’s was on a Percy Jackson jag, but I’m thrilled to report that she finally finished Anne of Green Gables and is started on Anne of Avonlea. This makes me joyful!) but I enjoyed reading this story of a young girl growing up in the 1930’s. Abilene’s father is seeking work, and after riding the rails with Abilene for some time, he ends up sending her to live in a small town in Kansas where he once spent some time as a teenager. He leaves her in the care of a preacher named Shady, which gave me the creeps a little bit because I’ve been through the Virtus training for child safety.  A pre-teen girl living alone with an old man who is no near relation? Fortunately, nothing inappropriate happens – turns out Shady is ministering to hobos and lets Abilene wander where she will. Abilene gets to know the people of the town, including the gypsy-like Miss Sadie who tells her stories about two teen boys, Jinx and Ned. Abilene figures out that Jinx is her dad, and in the meantime she unites the town by asking them to share their memories.

It’s an engaging story and since it is told in flashbacks to 1917, it acts as historical fiction about both the Depression and the Great War.  It’s not a story that is destined to win hearts and become a favorite of hundreds of young girls, I predict, because it just doesn’t have enough heft. Abilene is spunky and curious, but she doesn’t do much but listen.  A valuable talent, but not one that inspires emulation.

****
Also blazed through another Alexander McCall Smith book about Precious Ramotswe to keep up with my father-in-law, but I never got around to finishing Michael Chabon’s Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it; it just couldn’t compete with all the other stuff I had to read for class before it’s due date arrived. I have been dipping in and out of several books I found at the library, just before they instituted a 25 book limit per sponsor. (I’d be more compliant with the rule if it seemed like there was a rush on books, but typically the only people at the library are a few young sailors on the computers.  People check out the mysteries and romances pretty regularly, and story time draws a modest crowd, but most days the library on base is pretty quiet.  You’d think they didn’t want the books to be read.  And in fact I was disheartened to see them boxing up a bunch of the old books that hadn’t been checked out in more than 5 years. I asked if they would be for sale, but the girl didn’t know. Since the librarian was let go to save money, no one who works in the library seems to know much of anything.  But my frustration is probably another instance of spinning wheels in a mud puddle.  Since people come and go here so quickly, change happens quickly on this micro-scale, and prodigiously slowly on the macro-side.)

******

Although heavier than Chabon’s book, V. S. Naipaul’s A Way in the World is the other book I finished.  Not really a novel, more of a collection of anecdotes that relate to each other because they all have something to do with Trinidad, but they don’t always connect.  Naipaul is from Trinidad, and this book is broken into chapters focusing on individuals who either were from Trinidad or somehow were connected to it by colonization or revolution, including explorers Walter Raleigh and Francisco Miranda, another character who is a writer like V. S. Naipaul, and two revolutionaries, the older one Lebrun and the other Blair. The book travels back and forth through time and space – to Trinidad, Venezuela, Spain, England, Africa.  I almost gave it up, but again, like the Dickens, it was the language that kept me reading. Some haunting passages: “Perhaps below all the accidental things about people – birth, character, geography, history – there was something truer. That was what I had always felt about myself. Perhaps all men, if they were given a wise and rational liberty, became worthy of Plato’s republic.”

The book is mostly a meditation on Trinidad, a place that Naipaul considers home, but to which he rarely returns. It is also an interesting look at colonization – its beginnings and its effects, which particularly interests me because we are in the position of being colonists right now.  It’s an odd book, not one to rave about, but also not one to dismiss.  Although slower and without plot like Chabon’s book, it had greater complexity and personal interest.

********
After moseying along, I at last finished Moonwalking With Einstein, Joshua Foer’s account of learning to train his memory and his success at the US Memory Championships. Basically, the message is you can train your mind to remember, but it takes practice and skill. The art is in learning to create a “memory palace” – a mental image into which you can position all the information you want to remember. Like I suspected, Foer finds that improving your memory is about improving what you notice.  Pay attention, in other words.

*********
And finally, my guilty pleasure: Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. My youngest son just bought Cabin Fever with some of his lawnmowing money. When these books first came out, I was skeptical, if not downright suspicious, of potential potty humor and other forms of degenerate jabs. All those drawings of Greg Heffley in his underwear, for pete’s sake!  But these things are downright funny.  I love them.  I can’t laughing – not a little giggle, but a guffaw  - outloud when I read them. Even though Greg can be mean to Rowley, Rodrick is scary, and Manny is a brat, the Heffley family isn’t broken like so many families in kids’ books – they even go to church regularly.

The newest book in the series will be out soon.  Greg Heffley in his underwear won’t be so funny when he’s in 9th grade, so I assume the series will have to end soon before he graduates from middle school. Cabin Fever just covers Christmas break, and my older boys were joking that the new book probably only covers a week or a day, so that Jeff Kinney can eke all the money he can out of the series before Greg gets too old to be funny.  The books are still making me laugh at any rate.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

On speaking your mind

I wrote the following a few months ago, and hesitated to post it because of my limited understanding of local politics and a concern about misrepresenting what the admiral said.

Since then, though, local elections have heated up, and these issues are even more in the news.  Guam does not participate in the presidential election, although military members and dependents like myself send in absentee ballots. (I've learned that the local ballots include the presidential candidates' names.  Guam has correctly chosen the winner of the presidential election in every race except when Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter.)  But elections are big news here, and candidates for mayor and local government representatives from each village are chosen, along with a nonvoting representative elected to US Congress.

The issues mentioned below, decolonization and the marine build-up, are still being debated.  I sometimes get the feeling that the US is sometimes seen as a military imperialist power.  It's uncomfortable to be in that position as an American who is supposed to promote freedom. I wonder if giving Guam a voice in the presidential elections would be a step toward its full participation in American citizenship. I still appreciate the Admiral's confidence in speaking out on the issues, but also wonder what compromises could be made. It seems to me that America needs Guam as much as Guam needs America.

***********************************************************************************
From August: One of the pleasures of military life is the opportunity to attend the frequent ceremonial events: hail and farewells, retirements, balls, changes of command, etc. This summer has been a busy one for turnover, there have been a number of change of command ceremonies.  They follow a similar format: the band plays as guests are seated, the important officers are officially piped in, an MC makes introductions, and important person makes a keynote speech. Then the outgoing commander gives a speech thanking everyone, the incoming commander gives a speech about how excited he is to be here, and the chaplain intones a final prayer. Finally, the commanders are piped out, and guests adjourn for snacks. The officers wear dress white uniforms, ladies get dressed up, and the civilian men here wear their best Hawaiian shirts or the Filippino barong.

As much fun as pomp and circumstance are, the refreshments are often the most memorable part of the event.  What is said by the speakers is usually forgettable.  But last month’s turnover between admirals was a little more exciting. The outgoing admiral's speech was critical of recent political discussions in Guam. We were squirming in our seats because the key players - lieutenant governor, senator, local representatives, mayors – were all present.

He actually touched on two controversies: The military build-up that has stalled and recent calls for Guam independence or self-determination.  The build-up has had a mixed reception here. Some locals support it, some do not. Some people perhaps acted like they opposed it in order to get concessions from the federal government, and now that no money at all might show up, they are supporting it.

The politicians are indirect in stating their opinions. They keep calling for more studies. There is some land in dispute for a shooting range that is near a popular hiking route. And there are concerns about the infrastructure and impact on the island from the potential increase in personnel.

Meanwhile, the calls by some Guamanians for self-determination and an end to colonization seem to be more of a younger person thing. I’m not in touch enough with the local political scene to be familiar with the dialogue about it, but I can see both sides. The US is far away, and perhaps some people feel like the government is using the island just for its strategic location for the military.

On the other hand, Guam gets a lot of money from the federal government.  The military also provides a lot of jobs.  And it sends a lot of people from the mainland who spend money. People from Guam with money for a plane ticket can come to the mainland for educational opportunities. Economically, it’s a good deal for Guam.  Environmentally and culturally the build-up might have a mixed impact, although I get a feeling that it’s people from the mainland who drive some of the sustainable future moves.

The admiral was clear about stating what he thought: the build-up is a good thing; de-colonization is not. And he has done a thorough study of history to support his opinions. About de-colonization: “That decision was made 50 years ago.”  Guam sent a representative to congress for some years, with instructions not to come back until Guam was officially a colony.  He pointed out that more Marines died on the shores of Guam than at Guadalcanal. The military here are willing to put their lives at stake for Guam and defend its shores again if necessary. They’ve built it back after typhoons and would do so again. He seemed confident that the military gives as much as it gets from Guam.

He also made it clear that the local government, without the aid of the federal government, would do very little to bring economic stability to the island.  He pointed out how much land the local government owns but does nothing with, including quite a bit of property handed over by the US government with habitable living quarters, which now are abandoned and rotting away (where my sons like to play pellet gun wars).  He accused the local government of caving in to a few activists on the build-up, and now it was time to “man up.” 

Here's the local write up with photos.


The admiral must have felt free to speak his mind after serving here years ago and again as commander of the region.  He knows Guam pretty well. And he knows his history extremely well. He’s been promoted to a three-star admiral, and he’s going to a war zone next. Why not say what he thinks? 

I'm typically a coward about speaking out.  Part of this is because I don't feel strongly enough about some issues. Sometimes I can see both sides. Other times I just don't see room for convincing someone to change a viewpoint. (For instance, Facebook posts are not going to win converts.) 

So I admire that the Admiral didn’t soft pedal his ideas.  He used humor but was direct. No one got up to leave; no one hissed. But I noticed several people besides myself looking around, thinking, “Did he really just say that?”  And I noticed that the local officials didn’t stay for the snacks, which were VERY good – fresh fruit, sushi, wontons, grilled kabobs, and delicious desserts.  Maybe they were offended, or maybe they just had other business to attend to.  Happily, they left those of us who did stay plenty to indulge in.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Rolling stones


The word is official. Orders are in hand. We will be moving again at the end of the school year. Our three-year orders to Guam are being cut short a year because my husband has been picked up for a command job, an honor but also an obligation.

When we first found out we were moving out here, I wished and hoped and prayed it would be for only two years. I dreaded the distance, the expenses, the remoteness. When we first arrived, I was depressed by the black mold everywhere, massage parlors everywhere, tattoos everywhere. I was disappointed in the schools. I grew tired of rain and heat. I was homesick.

But in between discovering the coral reef, learning to dive, meeting new people and making friends on base and off, finding a place at the chapel, joining the community of runners and triathletes, getting a job at the community college, and becoming familiar with the different Mobil stations in each community which are essential to understanding driving directions because road signs are uncommon, I began to feel at home. And I’ve got a garden going at last. Six fresh okra pods and 2 Japanese eggplants are simmering in my gumbo pot right now.
Picked these red zinnias a couple weeks ago in the back yard. Note the Thai peppers are drying up because they are just too darn hot.

The island now is familiar – like family. I’ve begun to love the place. I love having no traffic. I love the lack of materialism. I love the importance of families and celebrations.  I love our friends. I love only having one wardrobe all year round: island casual. I love flip-flops. I love island time. I’m never late any more!

The mold no longer catches my attention; the sky, the sunsets, the palms, the waves provide distractions.

But woe to those who get too comfortable! You will be handed moving orders! Were I to be miserable and bereft, we would probably get an extension.  Now we will have to say goodbye just as we were beginning to fit in.  Even though our move is still a little over 7 months away, already I feel myself pulling back from taking on responsibilities.

As I’ve observed before – it takes about 6 months to get everything that’s going to be unpacked put away and to figure out your way around a place. Then it takes about 6 months to plan a move (although often it happens faster because orders change or are delayed).  So we have about a year to enjoy life for every year’s worth of transition time.  Troublesome.

It would help if I had no hesitations about our destination.  On the one hand, most people are thrilled to go to Southern California. We lived there for a few months 12 years ago, and had a great time, but we lived in a furnished condo on the beach – a small perk of temporary duty. The weather will be beautiful. Our flipflops will still be our main footwear. We’ll still be close to the ocean, although the water won’t be nearly as warm or the sealife as colorful.  I’ll have to get a wetsuit. The national parks and museums and places to go will be wonderful. We’ll be living in the same day as the people we love – instead of 15 hours in the future.

But I kind of like NOT having any place to go that takes more than 15 minutes. I’ll have to face the traffic!  Dread. The consumerism! Dread. The gargantuan schools! Dread. And to visit family will take, not 24 hours of flying, but 24 hours of driving, at least.

I could continue to least my anxieties and concern, but since the year of faith is officially underway, I will make an act of faith and believe that we will love our California experience just as much as we have loved every other duty station.  Who knew that I would find myself, a Midwestern girl who never saw the ocean until she was a junior in high school, loving island life?

God has made the world a beautiful place, full of beautiful people everywhere.  Is there a bad place to live? Is there a place where you couldn’t find a friend? Surely not, as long as your heart is disposed to love.



A baby bittern disturbed by the mower and photographed by our middle son.
So my goal for the year of faith, which promises to be another year of change: be grateful for this life that isn’t what I expected, but is more. Be grateful for the many interesting people, with so many different stories, who are all willing to be a friend, even if just briefly. Be grateful for the universal church that provides instant community, instant belonging, wherever we go.  Be grateful for the confirmation of God’s existence in the love that we’ve been shown as strangers, a love that converts loneliness into friendship. My prayer for the year is that God will help me mirror that love to others, and help me forget my discomforts, my inconveniences, my selfishness. 
I think I've posted this one before, but I still can't get over the view from our front yard.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Memory-dipping once more

I started reading Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Froer some time ago. A few weeks ago I picked up a stack of interesting books - A Way in the World by V.S. Naipul, Moonwalking with Einstein, Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Best Spiritual Writing of 2011, Moonlight Over Manifest, a YA book - but I've only finished the YA book, and they all are overdue. (Thank goodness for fineless libraries! Of course, if they had online renewals, I'd renew them, but our base library relies on handstamped cards in recipe boxes, so I just mention to the teen at the desk that I still am reading when we check out other things. They also have a still functioning card catalog. LOVE. But changes ahead are rumored.)

Distracted by all kinds of things, I haven't read past the first 50 pages of Froer's book; I'd turn it in, but it has a number of interesting snippets mixed in among some mental posturing.  The book is Froer's narrative about training for the World Memory Championships, but it's also an exploration of how memory works. Does it get around to wondering why we have memory, or does that tend away from science toward theology?

I don't know yet what conjectures the book puts forth about whys, but I did appreciate a section about how being busy can be a good thing for your brain because it creates all kinds of new patterns, as well as preventing old patterns from becoming ruts. I sometimes fear our life is so chaotic and full that our experiences will be forgotten before they take root and become meaningful. Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing -- having meaningful experiences? Or making meaning out of what experiences we do have. . .

I often crave a quieter routine, but Froer cites research that claims that when our days are too similar, they blend together and are forgotten more easily. Certainly this must be true of days spent working in a cubicle.  I know my days as a young mother were somewhat varied - we might go to the park or the zoo or the library. We'd take walks and read and cook.  But I can recall so few individual moments, so I question Froer's citation's accuracy. I wish I had taken more photos, written more diary entries, held onto more bits of conversations.  I do remember lying exhausted on the floor, waiting for dinnertime to come while babies crawled on top of me, and wishing that time would speed by. Irony.

Indulge me by admiring my cute children 8 or 9 years ago:







I love how the 5 and 6 yr olds are totally in persona in their
costumes from grandma, while the 3 yr old is not quite sure...


But even at 3, he knew about bunny ears

The consolation is that our now will be equally as poignant to look back upon someday down the road.  I should be writing down the things my teenagers are doing and saying - if I could do so without embarrassing them. I came home late from my class last night, and my oldest was wearing the medal he had won in the All-Island high school cross country meet. He was still smiling about the team's victory celebration at Yogurtland.  He still looked very much like the little boy who was so excited to win a prize in a costume contest.  I know he won't forget that moment unexpected victory was announced.

Unfortunately, I probably will forget. My field record for remembering is notoriously poor, and I fear my husband will have to suffer through my senile dementia in the not too distant future.

So thank goodness for photography, the weak attempt to track our travels, record our reunions, mark our maturings...

More efforts at making time stand still: the last few photos of my parents' visit:
Stopping a fight between that former 3 yr old and the new infant

Love the paddleboards

My parents were able to witness a cross country meet ...


They look serious, but inside they are more like their friend on the left.

... and an Eagle Scout Ceremony for Spiderman.


Attempts at family photos

River boat "cruise"

Land crab farm

River catfish - the Japanese translator's dinner. Caught with whitebread on fishing line
tied to an old Gatorade bottle trailing behind the boat.

This is the guide's son "Jelly Bean" who patted my daughter's arm hair.

"Halitai" - monitor lizard.

Model of a Chamorro home

Ancient latte - the foundation stones. Chiefs' homes had more latte.

Honeybee nest in a breadfruit tree.

Our guide with an infamous brown tree snake. For a time, the FDA offered cash for snakes brought in dead, but it was discovered that people were breeding them.

The coconut crab

A trapped halitai eating hot dogs.







Sirena and the Spanish bridge. Sirena became a mermaid because her mother cursed
her when she didn't bring home fish in time for dinner because she loved to swim.

Soccer was also on the schedule - middle school

U10 futsal match - pitch is being upgraded, so games are following
indoor rules.

The umbrella is necessary for rain and uv ray protection




Frozen in joy



A visit from the aircraft carrier USS George Washington



Friday, October 5, 2012

More scenes with the grandparents

On day 2 of my parents' visit, I led them on a tour of the southern part of the island, the mountainous end.  The girls and I put them on to the test climbing up Mt. Jumullong Manglo, which is peak near on the way to the top of Mt. Lamlam, the tallest mountain on Guam. Since it is rainy season, the trail, which is usually well marked since it is where the Good Friday hike takes place, was pretty slippery, but Nana and Pop hung in there.  From there we stopped to see the remains of Ft. Soledad, the ruins of a Spanish Fort, and then on to Inarajan pools, which are natural swimming holes formed by lava near the coast.  We peeked in at St. Isidore's, a church on the east side, because he is the namesake of my parents' farm. Then we ate a late lunch at the famous Jeff's Pirates Cove, which is well known for its expensive hamburgers. It is popular mostly because it is just about the only place to get a bite to eat on the southeast side of the island.  Jeff has also done a great job of marketing and merchandising. Plenty of souvenirs available in the foyer near the check-out.






The piece of paper is from the funeral service of a biker who was stationed here at some point. The funeral was in Washington state but some friend or family member must have brought the program (and some ashes?) here in memoriam.












Friday, the kids had a half day of school, so we lingered over coffee until they came home, and then we had a Guam history day.  First we stopped to visit my oldest's Eagle Scout project, at a reservoir where the agriculture department is trying to stock freshwater fish for fishing, as well as protect the endangered moorhen, which nests here. My son's bridge is now working, as the rainy season created a small creek where it had been dry.  From there we headed to some battle sites from World War II, the War in the Pacific Museum, and the Marine Corps Pacific War Museum, which was a favorite of the 8 year old. We stopped for photo ops at the Latte of Freedom, located at the Governor's complex, and got a brief political history tour by the docent, who pointed out the "haole" governors of Guam's portraits on one side and the local governors' portraits on the other side of a display.  Haole is a derogatory word in Hawaii, but the guy didn't hesitate to apply it before us. My sons assured us that in Guam it is used more as a distinguishing term and doesn't have the racist overtones it carries in Hawaii. However,   the experience added to the complexity of being a military member in Guam, where until the 80's governors were either Admirals or civilians appointed by the US president. 
We ended the day with a soccer game and a cookout and birthday cake with the neighbors.

The Masso reservoir fishing pier.

Sitting like priests at Asan beach overlook - site of military headquarters.


At the Pacific War museum dedicated to the Marines who served on  Guam. More died here than at Guadalcanal.

Can I have kids this big?



Remnants of a Japanese bomber.

Weapons found in the jungle.

Artwork on pillowcases by Japanese POWs.

A Japanese soldier who was found in the jungle in the 60s, when he was brought in.

Yokoi, the Japanese soldier who hid in the jungle until 1978. He lived in a cave and ate fish and jungle produce. Apparently he was afraid the locals would kill him if he were found. 

Origami peace cranes like we saw in Japan.

Marine corps vehicles. 

The best part of the museum was being able to climb in  and one the vehicles.  Not a "don't touch" sign in the building.




The governor's complex.


View from the Latte of Freedom.  Weather was overcast all week. No tropical sunshine for my skincancered parents.

Sirena, the girl who was turned into a mermaid because she didn't do her chores, near the old Spanish bridge in Agana.


Happy Birthdays! The cake was a rough outline of a tandem bike.

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
-Lemony Snicket