Fix the family..not the kid

I read and used the Eyre's parenting book when the kids were young. I loved their approach. Did that mean we never had any problems...absolutely not. Did it help our kids and help us as parents...Yes.
Family life is hard but oh soooooooooooooo worth it!
Good night dear friends!

Linda & Richard Eyre: Fix the family — not the kid 

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Linda and I believed, even way back then, that the best way to help kids was to help their parents within their homes.

Way back in the good old days, I wrote a grassroots campaign plan for Ronald Reagan’s first presidential campaign. I was a political consultant then, and Bill Casey, the campaign manager, used my plan and seemed to think it helped Reagan win. At any rate, I was offered a post in the new administration as director of the White House Conference on Children.
I did my due diligence and found that in the past it had been mostly a conference for counselors, psychologists, school administrators, and others who performed interventions and tried to help troubled kids outside of their homes. Linda and I believed, even way back then, that the best way to help kids was to help their parents within their homes. I said I would accept the position if we could change the name to the White House Conference on Parents and Children and focus on ways to build stronger families.
We moved to Washington and began to shift the conference in that direction. Shortly thereafter, then-President Reagan was shot in an assassination attempt, and it was decided that while he was recuperating, it would be best to disband the conference and send the budget to the states, allowing each of them to hold their own conference rather than a national conference.
Linda and I were happy to return to Utah and to other pursuits, but the point is that the whole experience got us thinking about the two primary ways to try to make the lives of children better:
One, give up on “bad parents” and focus on helping kids outside of their homes — at schools or through welfare or justice systems or other interventions.
Or two, help and train parents, giving them the tools to raise happy kids.
These two alternatives were stated even more bluntly in new research by Brookings scholars Richard Reeves and Kimberly Howard, where they concluded, as summarized by Derek Thompson of The Atlantic: “There are two basic ways to improve the lot of children ... the first tries to make bad parents less relevant. The second tries to make bad parents less bad.”
Let's think about that for a moment. Isn’t it pretty obvious that the first and best option is "to make bad parents less bad?” Shouldn’t the first line of defense against poor choices, rebellion and antisocial behavior in children be within the homes where those children live, under the direction of a parent?
Of course, no matter how hard parents try, or how much training and assistance and motivation parents receive, not all kids will turn out fine. In fact, some kids will have severe behavior problems even if they have the most conscientious, nourishing parents in the world. But the fact remains that, speaking generally, the home and the family constitute by far the most efficient, effective and economical place to raise a responsible member of society and to inoculate against problems that would otherwise spill out into the welfare or juvenile justice systems.
Yes, society needs safety nets and institutions that can deal with situations that parents can’t handle — and thank goodness for great teachers and counselors and schools and even courts that intervene and rescue children.
But our goal should be to strengthen families and improve parenting to where we need these other institutions less and less.
So what we really want to say here is pretty simple: Can we all approach it the way we tried to at the White House Conference? Can we think children and parents? Whoever and whatever we are — churches, clubs, government agencies, schools, therapists, grandparents, godparents, mentors or just concerned individuals — should we do all we can to help kids by helping their parents have the time and the tools and the encouragement to better parent their own children?
Because ultimately, stronger families are the only way to create a stronger society.

Richard and Linda Eyre are New York Times No. 1 best-selling authors who lecture throughout the world on family-related topics. Visit them anytime at www.EyresFreeBooks.com or at www.valuesparenting.com.

 

I read the article here:

 

 

Am I truly happy and am I living an abundant life?

For the past few weeks I have been struggling to fill my Empty Bucket. Many days I feel like I have done a good job of it and other days... I feel like I failed in deed. My problem on those latter days is...I was trying to do it alone. I know better, but still sometimes.... it is easier to think that you can do it all by yourself IF you just try harder and longer. The truth is ...I never have to do it alone unless I choose too. This sweet video  story that I found here:
It reminded me of this very subject, why am I such a slow learner some times? ( You don't have to really answer that? )
I hope you will take the time to watch it, and realize that none of us need to try and do it alone. We could be living an Abundant Life if...we keep Christ in our lives. Why is that so hard to remember? We seem to never forget it from after Thanksgiving and on into the Christmas Season. But it is the rest of the year that is the real test. Is Christ a part of our lives? And if not....why? And if so....how is your life changed because of it?
It truly is where my greatest happiness comes from, I just forget that sometimes. This was a great reminder!
Good night dear friends!

  “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief." ~ Thomas Fuller ( English churchman and historian that lived in the 17th century )

"Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities."

You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith."  ~ Thomas S. Monson

Adversity

Yesterday I started coming down with a cold. It so far has stayed at just that. I am so prone to get pneumonia that I always have to be extra careful not to have it go to my lungs. My lungs got compromised after having Radiation Treatments for my cancer.

Having said that though, I really have been soooooooooooooo much healthier this year so…I am not complaining. Well, I guess I am tonight because I feel so awful and my body hurts, I can’t breath cause my head is so congested and …oh there I go again, sorry about that.  Anyway, my point was I had better get to bed early, so I will leave with you this motivational short story about Adversity.

Good night dear friends!

 

Faced with Adversity

Who hasn't faced adversity in their life? We all have stories about facing adversity in our lives. The difference is what we did to overcome it. We all have two choices:
1. to do nothing, and just give up
2. to look at the adversity as an opportunity
For me personally, I could write for days about many different situations where adversity challenged my life. Let me tell you of one experience where I almost let adversity win.
We had a glass studio, which was located 50 feet from our home. A couple of years ago we experienced an awful winter; we had a lot of snow and ice. To make a long story short the weight of the ice and snow collapsed the roof on our studio, taking with it one of our sources of income. Before it did collapse, we got on the roof and tried to remove the snow and ice, but when you have 5 feet of ice and temperatures of minus 20 Celsius, it was pretty difficult to do.
We had a contractor come in to help us try and secure the roof by bracing. In the end, there was nothing that could be done. The roof came down. We had moved a lot of our goods and tools from the studio but we lost a lot also; glass, kilns, workbenches, to name only a few of the items. It was a devastating experience.
Here we were in the middle of winter with our studio collapsed. We couldn't work as we had literally piled all the material in a building we were not using. We could have done one of two things:
1. we could of simply said that we can no longer conduct our glass business, let me tell you that this was certainly a thought that crossed our mind
2. or, we could find a way to get our studio back up and running
We picked option 2. We had a large barn that we were not using. So we renovated the barn, redesigned our working area and today we have a nicer studio than we previously had. If the adversity we faced had not happened, we probably would still be working in the old studio - a studio that was less efficient.

Adversity:
You can make excuses, or take action.
You can see adversity as a friend, or as an excuse to give up or give in.
You can have the "poor me" attitude, or you can say something better will come out of this.
You can embrace it, or you can stick your head in the sand and hope it will go away.

My point in sharing our experience with you is this: don't be afraid of adversity. While it is discouraging and it can be draining, look at it as an opportunity. Think of different ways to overcome the adversity. How we respond to adversity will determine our success and our happiness in life. May you find adversity in your life one that will make you stronger, more determined, and allow your creativity to find ways to overcome it for the better. Remember the wisdom of Horace, who once said, "Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. "  Author: Catherine Pulsifer, © 2012

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.  ~Author Unknown

“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”  ~Harry Golden

Why Worry?

Today was a tough day physically, I have had a migraine for the entire day and most of last night… and so I won’t say that I am running on a full tank today.

I found this great motivational story and think that is what I will share with you tonight, it is a lot better than sharing my day or thoughts with you!

Worry Not Bug
By Catherine Pulsifer

For months I notice the painted rock that sat on Karen's coffee table. The rock was painted and its face had a smile that just made you smile when you looked at it. I examined the rock and painted on the bottom was "why worry". Curious I asked Karen where she got the rock.

She told me that during a very stressful time in her life, a friend that she worked with gave her the rock. Her friend told her that when she looked at this rock, she was to remember not to worry so much. Her friend called it her "worry not bug". There was a poem with the rock, she went and got it and as I read the poem I thought how true it was:

Why Worry by Author Unknown

- 40% will never happen, for anxiety is the result of a tired mind,
- 30% concerns old decisions which cannot be altered,
- 12% centers in criticism, mostly untrue, made by people who feel inferior,
- 10% is related to my health which worsens while I worry,
and only
- 8% is "legitimate," showing that life does have real problems which may be met head-on when I have eliminated senseless worries.

Karen went on to explain that she used to worry about everything and everyone. She now uses the rock as a reminder not to worry about the things she cannot change. She also went on to tell me that when she finds herself worrying, she asks herself what percentage this worry is?. Most of the time she found what she was worrying about was the 40% - things that will never happen.

"The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action."   ~Harold B. Walker

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."    ~William R. Inge
"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never fixes anything."  ~Hemingway

"Don't worry, be happy."    ~Bobby McFerrin

Bigger than me day!

Sometimes I wonder why certain things happen in multiples? Maybe because it takes more patience, courage and understanding to handle them. I really don't need to tell you all the struglles that I am going through right now, but it is probably safe to say that the last couple of days have been a bit bigger than me.

Right now I am at my daughter's house using her computer (as I babysit the girls).I won't be able to put a photo with my post because ...all my photos are on the hard drive of my computer that died a couple of days ago. I have had some dear friends try to retrieve all my information on the hard drive but so far no luck.

Even as I sit here tonight feeling a bit sorry for myself, I realize that things aren't really that bad and that I have a lot to be grateful for. Tonight we had a meeting at church and I sat with a dear friend of mine who is handicapped in many ways. When she was 18 years old, she was hit by a drunk driver, that left her speechless, unable to move any part of her body except her head, and very limited movement with her arms. Her courage and determination to keep smiling through this all has been amazing to me. As I sat with her tonight and held her hand, she just kept making noises that means she is happy. She and I met about 6 or so years ago, I instantly felt like a sister to her. Many people would think that she is totally handicapped but her mind is totally there and if you are with her in her room in her center where she lives, then she can use her computer to punch out one letter at a time with trying to steady the end of a pencil to talk to you. I realize that it takes time to wait for her to write. She often has to wipe her mouth, because she can't close her mouth very well, she drolls often, yet you will never EVER see her without a smile. I thought tonight how brave she is. What would it be like to know and see and feel things and yet never be able to really express them. I can't imagine, wanting to say something and have to wait until someone takes you to the computer and then waits for you to painstakingly try letter by letter to write it down. Yes, it truly made me realize, that I am NOT having a bigger than me day, I am just experiencing life and I should be grateful that I am healthy enough to call someone to fix my computer, walk to their house to pick it up. To call somewhere if I have a question...yes, my life is good and how grateful I am tonight for a dear friend, who has gone through so much, to teach me that JUST through her smile.

So please be patient with me and I try to learn how to use other people's computer and forgive me for my complaining and short sightedness.
Hope you had a wonderful day, Good night dear friends!

"It is a good thing to take LONG pauses in our pursuit of Happiness and just be HAPPY"

" We know what we are but not what we may be." ~ Shakespeare

Being careful in our judgements!

   Sunday my husband was asked to give a lesson on Judging Others, he did such an incredible job, I thought that is what I would share with you tonight. Maybe I should let him write my blog, he has such a way with words...but it takes him a long time to write them so...guess you are still stuck with me!
Good night dear friends!

   "My wife, Lynn, and I recently returned from a trip to Rexburg, Idaho where we attended the graduation ceremonies of our son and daughter-in-law from BYU-I.  On the flight home I was reminded of a story:

The Cookie Thief
A woman was waiting at the airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
That the man beside her, as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
She read, munched cookie, and watched the clock,
As the gutsy “cookie thief” diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!”
With each cookie she took, he took one too.
When only one was left, she wondered what he’d do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, and he ate the other.
She snatched it from him and thought, “Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve, and he’s also so rude,
Why, he didn’t even show any gratitude!”
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate,
Refusing to look at the “thieving ingrate”.
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise.
There were her bag of cookies in front of her eyes!
“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair,
“Then the others were his and he tried to share!”
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!!!

   If you are as human as I, you often make judgments regarding a person’s character without full knowledge of the facts.  This can, on occasion, lead to some incorrect assumptions about an individual and the way we interact with them.
   The Savior, in responding to a lawyer’s question of “who is my neighbor” said:
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment”
   Many times we label individuals according to our first impressions of them.  A person who has their children doing tasks around the home that should be done by an adult may be someone who is suffering with a physical ailment and is in need of extra help.  A young adult who is acting rebellious or angry against authority may be someone who is being abused.  And a person who doesn’t believe in God, is angry all the time, distant, or has a hard time forming relationships may be someone who has lost a loved one and doesn’t know how to deal with that loss. 
   Each of us may encounter someone that is having problems that we know nothing about.   As we encounter these individuals, we must remember to keep our hearts and minds open to what hardships they may be experiencing and not be the “cookie thief” who judges someone before you know all the facts.
   Here is a description of someone you might judge.  See if you can identify this individual.
He had a singular way of walking, which gave the impression that his long, gaunt frame needed oiling.  He plodded forward in an awkward manner, hands hanging at his sides or folded behind his back.  His step had no spring. He lifted his whole foot at once rather than lifting from the toes and then thrust the whole foot down on the ground rather than landing on his heal.  His legs seemed to drag from the knees down, like those of a laborer going home after a hard day’s work.  His features were not such “as belong to a handsome man.”  In repose, his face was overspread with sadness.  Yet, when Abraham Lincoln began to speak this expression of sorrow dropped from him instantly.  His face lighted up with a winning smile, and where before there was a face leaden with sorrow now beheld keen intelligence, genuine kindness of heart, and the promise of true friendship.  If his appearance seemed somewhat odd, what captivated admirers was “his winning manner, his ready good humor, and his unaffected kindness and gentleness.”  Five minutes in his presence, and “you cease to think that he is either homely or awkward.
   Everyone has a story.  We should be reserved in our judgment of others. We may still, in all our human weaknesses, judge others but we should know the facts as much as we can. The Lord loves and cares for all of us. We need to be as caring and loving to our fellowman as he is to us."  ~ Jeff Woodard May 29,2011

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."                   ~ Paul Coelho

"We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions."  ~ Ian Percy

Never Quit!

Well, I went to bed way too late last night and I really wasn't worth much today. So my goal tonight was to be way more responsible, and get to bed on time. I will share with you this incredible story about Abraham Lincoln. I have to admit, there have been times that I  have wondered, if I am the only one who has had so many problems. Of course I know the answer but some days... I have been foolish enough to say that. After reading this about Abraham Lincoln, I realized that there are many people who have had many troubles in their life, and yet they never QUIT!  Wow, what a great example to me. That is inspiring!!!

Lincoln Never Quits

Abraham Lincoln Didn't Quit

Probably the greatest example of persistence is Abraham Lincoln. If you want to learn about somebody who didn't quit, look no further.

Born into poverty, Lincoln was faced with defeat throughout his life. He lost eight elections, twice failed in business and suffered a nervous breakdown.

He could have quit many times - but he didn't and because he didn't quit, he became one of the greatest presidents in the history of our country.

Lincoln was a champion and he never gave up. Here is a sketch of Lincoln's road to the White House:

• 1816 His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them.
• 1818 His mother died.
• 1831 Failed in business.
• 1832 Ran for state legislature - lost.
• l832 Also lost his job - wanted to go to law school but couldn't get in.
• 1833 Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt.
• 1834 Ran for state legislature again - won.
• 1835 Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.
• 1836 Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.
• 1838 Sought to become speaker of the state legislature - defeated.
• 1840 Sought to become elector - defeated.
• 1843 Ran for Congress - lost.
• 1846 Ran for Congress again - this time he won - went to Washington and did a good job.
• 1848 Ran for re-election to Congress - lost.
• 1849 Sought the job of land officer in his home state - rejected.
• 1854 Ran for Senate of the United States - lost.
• 1856 Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party's national convention - get less than 100 votes.
• 1858 Ran for U.S. Senate again - again he lost.
• 1860 Elected president of the United States.

 

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."   ~ Samuel Johnson

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning."  ~Ivy Baker Priest

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perspective

  I have a dear friend of mine has a family member that has brain cancer. This person is just a 3 year old little boy ( a twin also). The parents are blogging the whole experience to let people know how he is doing, and probably to document and help themselves remember this life altering experience.

  As I read their blog, you can't help but be sad and worried for the young boy and his family. Even though we don't know them personally, we pray for them daily and hope that they can just handle each day as it comes. They have a great and strong faith and that in and of it's self ...is a life saver ( we know from personal experience ).
   So tonight I am leaving with you some inspirational quotes, and hopefully it will be a comfort for any of you who are struggling with BIG PROBLEMS in your life! Perspective really is a wonderful thing!

           "When you look at a massive problem it is good to remember about
eating an elephant. There is only one way to eat it. One piece at a
time. The sea is vast but the sea is just drops of water and each drop
counts"  – Desmand Tutu

 

"Everyone and everything around you is your teacher."    ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."  ~ Proverb

 

Gratitude and Generosity!

I read this article today on Gratitude and Generosity, it was great! Here is the part that I would like to share with you tonight, or this morning. (I got carried away with my creating of Christmas gifts and forgot to look at the time). Anyway enjoy this and I hope it makes you stop and think ...like it did me. It is still cold outside, I hope all of you are staying cozy and warm!

Many of you have had the same experience I have had. And if you haven’t, you will: you will go to a hospital or to a house to comfort someone, and instead they comfort you. Or you try to encourage someone who seems to you to have so little, and yet they will express gratitude for things you take for granted.

To find gratitude and generosity when you could reasonably find hurt and resentment will surprise you. It will be so surprising because you will see so much of the opposite: people who have much more than others yet who react with anger when one advantage is lost or with resentment when an added gift is denied.

A poem describes that contrast: it is called “How Different.”

Some murmur when the sky is clear
And wholly bright to view,
If one small speck of dark appear
In their great heaven of blue:
And some with thankful love are filled,
If but one streak of light,
One ray of God’s good mercy, gild
The darkness of their night.
(Richard Chenevix Trench, in Sourcebook of Poetry, Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan Publishing House, 1968, p. 396.)  
Henry B. Eyring, “Remembrance and Gratitude,” Ensign, Nov 1989, 11

 

"Remembrance is the seed of gratitude which is the seed of generosity  ~ Henry B. Eyring

Drug problem?

I loved this story about how we teach our kids. It took a funny twist on a serious problem, but it is absolutely true. Read and find out if you believe the same?

Different drug problem..................
The following letter has appeared on the inter-net and was viewed by many readers. Many felt it would be appropriate for the readers of Avoyelles Parish.
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in a old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, "Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad’s fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to now the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
Submitted by concerned citizen  by...Randy and Melanie Bordelon

"In raising your children spend half as much money and twice as much time"

"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have give your children the greatest of all blessings"  ~ Brian Tracy

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much" ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Life is too short!

I found this story on line, and couldn't believe how great it was. Life truly is... too short, it is vital that we make sure that we are in control of our lives, and not letting others or other circumstances take over!

Need to run, I have a big Date Night tonight! ( Our first Date was 32 years ago, that is hard to believe! )
Have a wonderful weekend and remember to enjoy each moment!

The Law of the Garbage Truck

A couple of years ago, I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck.”

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You’ll be happy you did.

So this was it: The “Law of the Garbage Truck.” I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people a work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, “I’m not going to do anymore.”

Well, now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don’t make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

The mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what’s important.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here’s my bet. You’ll be happier. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t.

"Life's problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them." ~Author Unknown

"We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams."  ~ Les Brown

"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within."  ~ Earl Nightingale

A great thought for the day!

I just love it when I find a great story, with a great moral! I hope you haven't heard this one before. It is a bit long but soooooooooooo worth it! Enjoy!

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their
farm.   He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the
target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck
square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to
see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said
nothing.   After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally,
let's wash the dishes' ',But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to
help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?'
So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go
fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help
make supper.' Sally just smiled and said, 'Well that's all right
because Johnny told me he wanted to help' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he
finally couldn't stand it any longer.   He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You
see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because
I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let
Sally make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done ...the things the devil keeps
throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for
forgiveness;   He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."    ~ Robert Muller

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Problems

When I was a little girl my grandmother used to always say..."If everyone's  problems were hung out on the line, you'd take yours and I'd take mine". She then explained that no matter how bad you think your problems are, if you just stop to look around at someone else's problems then ours don't look so bad. I found this story that has the same theme. So instead of telling you how bad I feel today and how I worried I am that I will always be sick like this... I will leave you with this inspiration story of the Sorrow Tree.

Good night dear friends.

The Sorrow Tree

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So it was that when the Hasidic pilgrims vied for those among them who had endured the most suffering, who was most entitled to complain, the Zaddck told them the story of the Sorrow Tree. On the Day of Judgment, each person will be allowed to hang one's unhappiness and sufferings on a brach of the great Tree of Sorrows. After all have found a limb from which their miseries may dangle, they may all walk slowly around the tree. Each person is to search for a set of sufferings that he or she would prefer to those he or she has hung on the tree.

In the end, each one freely chooses to reclaim his or her own assortment of sorrows rather than those of another. Each person leaves the Tree of Sorrows wiser that when he or she arrived.   by: Brian Cavanaugh, T.O.R., The Sower's Seeds

Letting go and dealing with what we have been given

I have heard this story before but I think it is one that can be retold, in order to help us remember that there are a lot of things in life that we do not like or that bother us. Understanding what they are and how to deal with them or even how to let go of them is ....the hard part.

I know for myself that some times I just get into to certain habits, habits of how I think about something. When I realize how much it bothers me then I know I need to change something. But old habits are hard to break. I used to be a PLEASER, even at the cost of my emotional or physical self....I wanted to make everyone happy. I did not want someone to be disappointed in me. For some reason, I thought I had to do everything right for every person. It was a big day for me to realize that I CAN'T AND WILL NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY! I will disappoint people, let them down and even though I don't do it on purpose, I realized... that is life and we are all human. We will make mistakes. Learning how to forgive myself was huge. I used to punish myself for a long time whenever I made a mistake or disappointed someone. I just have to do the best I can and make the best with what I have been given in life. That was a life turning point for me. Too bad it took me over 40 years to figure that out! :) 

I guess we are all  still learning huh? So today, I will try to remember the oyster story and how he took what life gave him and made something worthwhile out of it. Have a great day and remember just do the best you can but always be willing to let go of the old you and old habits for something better!

 

 

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THE OYSTER

Author Unknown

There once was an oyster
Whose story I tell,
Who found that some sand
Had gotten into his shell.
It was only a grain,
But it gave him great pain,
For oysters have feelings
Although they're so plain.
Now, did he berate
The harsh workings of fate
That had brought him
To such a deplorable state?
Did he curse at the government,
Cry for election,
And claim that the sea should
Have given him protection?
"No," he said to himself
As he lay on a shell,
Since I cannot remove it,
I shall try to improve it.
Now the years have rolled around,
As the years always do,
And he came to his ultimate destiny ...Stew!
And the small grain of sand
That had bothered him so
Was a beautiful pearl
All richly aglow.
Now the tale has a moral:
For isn't it grand
What an oyster can do
With a morsel of sand?
What couldn't we do
If we'd only begin
With some of the things
That get under our skin.

 

"Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard. Even though old memories can be tormenting, yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward. However, by refusing to let go of the painful past, it'll serve as a roadblock to love."

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."   ~  Unknown

 

"Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."  ~ Unknown

Problems, why are there so many?

On Christmas Eve 1993, Norman Vincent Peale, the author of all-time bestseller THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING, died at age 95. Norma said that  you have two choices every morning when you wake up: you can choose to feel good about yourself or choose to feel lousy. Norma insisted that positive thinkers get positive results because they are not afraid of problems. He felt like problems were a sign of life, here is one of his stories...

"One day I was walking down the street, when I saw my friend George approaching. It was evident from his downtrodden look that he wasn't overflowing with the ecstasy and exuberance of human existence, which is a high-class way of saying George was dragging bottom.

Naturally I asked him, "How are you, George?" While that  was meant to be a routine inquiry, George took me   very seriously and for 15 minutes he enlightened me on how bad he felt. And the more he talked, the worse I felt.

Finally I said to him, " Well, George, I'm sorry to see you in such a depressed state. How did you get this way?" That really set him off.

"It's my problems," he said. "Problems-nothing but problems. I'm fed up with problems. if you could get rid of all my problems, I would contribute $5,000 to your favorite charity."

Well now, I am never one to turn a deaf ear to such an offer, and so I meditated, ruminated and cogitated on the proposition and came up with an answer that I thought was pretty good.

I said, "Yesterday I went to a place where thousands of people reside. As far as I could determine, not one of them has any problems. Would you like to go there?"

"When can we leave? That sounds like my kind of place," answered George.

"If that's the case, George," I said, "I'll be happy to take you tomorrow to Woodlawn Cemetery because the only people I know who don't have any problems are dead."

This was a good story for me today, my back and neck have been bad for awhile and I am getting a bit nervous on traveling this week. I have never been much of a traveler, but 6 hours on an air plane could just do me in. So I am trying to think positive and realize that I will survive no matter what. I am just concentrating on the fact that I get to see my dear friends in Indiana and Kentucky again. Some of whom I haven't seen in almost 30 years!

Thanks for your support and continued encouragement through my problems, yes positive thinking is vital but so it good friends who are always there for you ... no matter what! Thanks again.

"THE MAN WHO HAS NO PROBLEMS IS OUT OF THE GAME"  ~ Elbert Hubbard

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."              ~ Brian Tracy

Tough day!

Yesterday started out with a trip to the hospital for my Physical Therapy appointment. Yes, I had to start that again because my lymphodemia is now going down my left arm. I was so hoping to not let that happen but ...it did. I am a little nervous about it getting worse when I fly next week back East. I have all the instructions on what to do. Try to get up and move during the flight. Keep a ball or something in my left hand and try to keep it moving for circulation. I have started wearing my compression sleeve again and need to do that more often than not, now. I certainly need to keep it on the whole day of traveling and a couple of days afterwards. I just signed the appeal for my insurance company. We are trying to see if once again, they will review my records and history so they will help pay for the Lymphodemia Draining suit.

I really didn't want to have very many of my lymph nodes taken out but... that didn't happen, and now for the rest of my life this is something that I have to be concerned about. Trust me, there are enough things to already be concerned about when you are a cancer survivor so... I really didn't need this but no one does. One out of every three women get it who have had most of their lymph nodes taken out. Yuck!

I was going to write last night but we have company visiting and to be honest, I was just too tired. I always feel like I have the flu for a couple of days after my massage. I know that is normal but it is sure hard to put up with. So I went to bed early.

I hope that those of you that are going down this road too will continue to hold on and not give up. Some days I just want my life to be more normal but I realize that I just need to be grateful and appreciate what I have.

Thanks for your support. It truly makes a difference. I will pray that today that it will be a better day and I will to try and count my blessings.

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."       ~Brian Tracy

"Action is the antidote to despair."  ~ Joan Baez

Graduation Day! Class of 2009 yeah!!!!!!

It is late and we are pretty tired from sitting in those HARD chairs for over 2 hours for graduation. But I have to admit it was a wonderful feeling seeing Lauren receive her diploma. She was so excited! Amy and John went with us so we were able to make a little bit more noise, when they called her name! :)

I will leave you with this sweet story, it was really good. So I hope you enjoy it too! Good night dear friends.

Making a difference in someone else's life...BIG!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. t looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives. ' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. Thanks,' he said.As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story..' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying all his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions.. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

Believe in Your Dreams

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." ~ Nelson Mandela

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain