Another future scrapbooker!

My granddaughters finally were able to come over and visit us tonight. It has been weeks since we were able to see each other, because I have been so sick. I didn't do much but sit and read stories to them and just hold them, but that was enough. I have missed being with them and wish that my little Kai lived close enough for Nana to read stories to him too!
Had my chest x rays done today, we won't find out the results until next week.
For now, I am just going to be grateful to feel a little bit better.

Here is our little Audrey, looks like we have another little future scrapbooker in our midst.

" Take time to do what makes your SOUL happy!"

All about choices, again!

Today started out great, I had a massage and was able to quiet down some of the inflammation in my neck and back. I am telling you my massage therapist is AMAZING! I was still hurting from the exam I had to have on Monday through our insurance. I struggled to know if I shouldn't have stopped the chiropractor that was being so tough on me. I think if I hadn't even had too many neck issues...he sure would have given them to me. So for the last two days I have been in a whole lot more pain and frustrated because when I am sitting at the sewing machine  ( which is often, because that is my job ) it hurts a  lot too! So the massage was a welcome relief.
I had a great day at work and had a lot of wonderful comments on my new line of projects for It's A Girl!
Then on the way home I stopped into Weight Watchers to weigh in for the month. It has been 9 months that I have been on Maintenance and I have only gained or lost one pound ...more than once during that 9 months, I guess that isn't bad. Maintaning the exact weight isn't as easy as it looks. I knew the last couple of weeks that I felt like I had gained and ....sure enough I had. I gained 2 lbs and 1 oz! Now many of you may think that isn't much and it isn't in some ways, and in other ways it is!  2lb and if you don't get rid of that then you gain another pound or more back... and pretty soon it is 5 pounds or so.
So I need to make better choices and ones that I will thank myself for in the future! And I will!
Good night dear friends!

The Girl I used to be.

I read this poem and thought it is true in some ways for me but then in other ways...I think my life is even better than I dreamed. Having come from an abusive childhood, I didn't really dream a lot. Reality seemed to always get in my way. But I did tell myself "if you ever make it out of this situation and if you ever get married and have a family, you have got to make sure this type of thing NEVER happens to your kids." With that determination I slowly looked toward the future hoping it would be different and praying with all my heart that it would and that I could have the faith and courage to make it so! I am grateful and blessed to say that life did turn out better than my childhood and that I have been able to stop the abuse that for generations which plagued our family.

So when I see that girl I used to be, I smile and tell her to have courage, don't give up hope. Her life is going to be great, she is going to meet the most incredible man and they will fall in love. Then they will have 4 beautiful and incredible children and yes...they all will be safe and happy! Yes, she will have lot's of wonderful things to look forward to.

 

The Girl I Used to Be
by: Author Unknown,

She came tonight as I sat alone,
the girl I used to be,
And she gazed at me with her earnest eyes,
and questioned reproachfully,
Have you forgotten the many plans,
and hopes I had for you?
The great career,
the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height,
with all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you,
and the shining jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke,
I was very sad,
for I wanted her pleased with me,
This slender girl from the shadowy past,
the girl I used to be.

So gently rising,
I took her hand and guided her up the stairs,
Where peacefully sleeping,
my babies lay, innocent, sweet and fair,
And I told her that these are my only gems,
and precious they are to me,
That silken robe is my motherhood,
of costly simplicity,
And my mansion of stately height is love,
and the only career I know,
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls,
for the dear ones who come and go,
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
she smiled through her tears at me,
And I saw the woman that I am now,
pleased the girl that I used to be!

"There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in."  ~ Deepak Chopra

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."  ~Stacia Tauscher

Spread your wings and fly!

When our kids were little we would tell them that they could be whatever they wanted to be, if they worked hard enough at it and sacrificed for it. They didn't of course know the full meaning of that comment, but just knew they wanted to be this... or that ..when they grew up. Some of them were more sure than others, and some changed their minds quite often. So we would use our imaginations and they could dream and pretend they were whatever they wanted to be.

As a mom, I loved that time of endless possibilities and their wonderful imaginations. The hard part is when real life comes in and the trials and obstacles get in the way. I have watched my kids suffer when they didn't know what they wanted to do and they felt lost. I have also watched them miss opportunities for one reason or another. Then on the other hand, I have watched them be excited because they finally found what their dream or passion is and they were pursuing it.

Lauren had this photo taken and it reminded me of how much I miss her, and yet how grateful I am that she is in college and pursuing her dreams. I have always struggled as a mom when my kids move away from home. I know that is exactly what I am suppose to be getting them ready to do but ...it is hard on a mother's heart.

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."  ~Marion C. Garretty

Lauren was excited to go somewhere that was cold and had lots of snow...Idaho was the perfect place for her. She is loving it there and enjoying the whole experience.  Brad and Krystal however are thrilled to be spending the 4 months for their internships here in Seattle, away from the cold and snow. And of course they chose the perfect winter to come, this year has been one of the driest and warmest we have had in recorded history.

So as a mom of kids who are growing up and moving on, I realize that I too... need to continue thinking about the things I want to do and prepare myself to spread my wings and fly. I am beginning to work on my book, the one that I have dreamed of doing for years. I am working on getting a business started with my RECNAC gifts, hopefully getting them into other hospitals, available to all cancer patients. Yes, I taught my kids as they were growing up, but the neat things about having your kids get older, is that they begin to help teach you. I am grateful for my kids, what they have made and are making of their lives. I am grateful for their examples of courage and strength. Yes, motherhood is the hardest job ever but... the benefits are amazing!

"It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself."  ~Joyce Maynard

"YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME ANYTHING TO WHICH YOU SET YOUR MIND. YOU HAVE A MIND AND A BODY AND A SPIRIT. WITH THESE THREE WORKING TOGETHER,  YOU CAN WALK THE HIGH ROAD THAT LEADS TO ACHIEVEMENT AND HAPPINESS. BUT THIS WILL REQUIRE EFFORT AND SACRIFICE AND FAITH." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley 

To all of you who have played a part in our kid's lives....thank you!