Great Advice

This was a good thing to remember!
Hope you had a wonderful day!
Good night dear friends!

You Can’t Always Believe What You Read or Hear!

When I was at my Cancer check up a few weeks ago, I picked up a magazine and began to thumb through it. I won't mention the magazine but it is popular and supposedly credible. I was shocked at one of the articles in there and thought this was a great example that you can't always believe what you read.

The article was about Gossip, here are some of the comments from it!

"Admit it, you love a good piece of gossip, Here's why it's not as bad of a habit as you might think....

*Gossip keeps us in line, according to a study done in 2004 at a university, they found out that gossip is good for you because it helps you release good brain chemicals.

*We also gossip to let other's know who we are. Say we pass on a juicy nugget about our neighbors infidelity offering our opinion about it, that let's you showoff your moral fiber.

*By gossiping, you can be reaffirming your values.

* I am sure in some ways we hurt productivity at the work place, but ultimately people are bonded by it.

*Since we don't know what other people are thinking, collecting information from and about them in  effect, playing amateur detective is as close as we can get to being inside their heads.

*We can't help ourselves Gossiping is part of our DNA. Think of it as survival instinct: in order to stay alive and thrive we gossip. We gossip to help us figure out whom to trust. It's a way to navigate our complicated social network.

Here is someone else's opinion on Gossiping. Check it out for yourself and see how feel. I personally couldn't believe the first article or half the things they said. But like the article below tells us ...there is an appetite out there in the world for it and so it will continue. My point tonight is to just compare the two and think about it!

  "Gossip - blurred truth - is a popular sport all over the world. We find it everywhere - on television, in newspapers, in magazines and on the Internet. So big is the business that there are professional Rumormongers whose work it is to discover and tell all. No matter how hurtful and destructive, there seem to be no limits to our appetite for public scandal. In spite of its popularity, I think we all know, on some level, that gossip is dishonest, destroys our integrity and compromises our personal authenticity. In the end it is our self-esteem that suffers the biggest loss. Regardless, we seem to love to talk about each other and often disguise it by saying, "This is not really gossip, I am just sharing information."

"Let us establish some clear standards. How do I know if I am gossiping? In my opinion, if you are passing information others need to know, you probably are not gossiping. If by all reasonable standards, others do not need to know the information you have, than you are gossiping. Second, you need to look at your intention. Why do you need/want to share the information you have about this person? Look within and if you see that your intentions are not good, hold your tongue. Third are you helping to create the scandal by blurring the Truth? When in doubt, apply the Triple Filter Test. This is a test that comes to us from the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates."

Here is the story:

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,
"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I would
like you to pass a little test. It is called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple Filter?"

"That is right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my
friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you are
going to say. The first filter is truth. Have you made absolutely
sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you do not really know if it is true or
not. Now let us try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what
you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him,
but you are not certain it is true. You may still pass the test though,
because there is one filter left: The filter of usefulness. Is what you
want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true
nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

To do:
~Avoid all gossip for 10 days.
~If you need to pass along information try using Socrates' Triple Filter test.
~If you are in conversation with someone and they start to gossip, figure out a way to excuse yourself.
~If you find yourself in circumstances where others are gossiping, try to move the discussion to another topic
~What does it mean to blur the truth?
~Think about how you feel when you gossip? Afterward?
~Why do you think people love to gossip?
http://ezinearticles.com/?Gossip-Hurts&id=4599470

"What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."  ~Jewish Proverb
"What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away."  ~Chinese Proverb
"No one gossips about other people's secret virtues."  ~Bertrand Arthur William Russell

Things aren't always as they appear!

When Jeff and I were dating, this very same thing happened to us...

HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.  Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon..

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING !

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.  He didn't explain, defend, or deny.  He said nothing....

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home ...and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)

Jeff came over one evening and we went out on a date.  When we got back to the apartment with all my roommates, Jeff said he was feeling sick, a boy was he ever. The short version of the story is ...that Jeff's Mom had to come pick him up and leave his truck in front of our apartment till he got better ( in a day or so ). Some one accused me of letting Jeff stay the night, I was upset because I had been judged wrongly. Now...it is just something we laugh about. And it is a good reminder for us not to be so judgmental and realize things aren't always as they appear! So this story reminded me of that situation we were in over 32 years ago!!!! ( and no, I don't hold grudges !)

"What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."  ~Jewish Proverb

"There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us." ~ Edward Wallis Hoch

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil!

Filtering can help us in lots of areas in our lives. This story was a perfect example of that!    Enjoy!

The Socrates Triple Filter Test
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
Triple filter?"
That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
No, on the contrary..."
So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
No, not really."
Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
This is why Socrates was a great philosopher & held in such high esteem. Friends, use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near & dear friends.
Be Blessed....   ~ M. Peer mohamed Sardhar

"Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."  ~ Will Rogers

"Gossip needn't be false to be evil-there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around."  ~ Frank A. Clark