I was talking to Jeff the other night on our walk about some struggles I am still having with my self image. Even though I have lost 19 pounds with Weight Watchers and have kept that off for 5 weeks during my maintenance, still because I am no longer losing, I am struggling with what I see in the mirror. I talked to my Weight Watchers teacher about it, and she gave me some ideas on how to work on that. But I think that Jeff said it the best when he said " Lynn, you have come so far from your past and childhood, but still I think it is only natural to have some left over RESIDUAL... that you will have to keep working on from time to time." After looking up the word...
What does Residual mean?
Something left after other parts have been taken away
This is a photo of my home where I lived from the time I was born till the age of 10.
The good memories... that was my Aunt Ina's home, we lived with her. She was really like a Mother to me, she protected me as much as she could. I spent a lot of time in the attic apartment where she lived. My grandmother Johnson lived right across the street a few doors down and her home was a safe place for me.
Bad memories... That was the home where my other grandparents came and visited a lot. My grandfather picked me up from this home. There was also a lot of racial conflict at the time 1960's and so there were riots and a lot of things like that going on, especially at night.
This is a photo of the building that used to be my Elementary School
Good memories...my best friend Kathy and I had a lot of fun together
Bad memories... I didn't do well at school and because of my abuse, paying attention to school was the last thing on my mind. So it was a place of huge stress! I seemed to survive in Art and Gym and that was about it. It also had a lot of racial problems in the school between the kids too, so daily I seemed to be in a fight before, during or after school.
Ritter park, a park near our home.
Good memories...Jeff and I spent a lot of time here on our dates! We came here as college students and hung out and played tennis. After Jeff and I were married and Amy was born. We had her Birthday party here.
Bad memories...this is the park where we had my Grandfather's family reunions some time, not fun!
This is a Root Beer and Hot dog place that we went to, it is a Drive In.
| Good memories...it was always fun and I remembered how good the Root beer was. I especially remember how fun it was being in the car together as a family and doing something fun. |
So I guess it it true, life is full of thoughts, memories, fears and concerns. I am grateful that I have lost the extra weight, and I do sometimes look in the morning and see a healthier Lynn and one who looks more accepting. Still there are days that I look in the mirror and see someone opposite of that. So, I guess that means I still have some residual left and so I will continue to work on that each day! Life is hard but I do personally know, it is worth it! Thanks for going down MEMORY LANE with me tonight! :)
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"Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
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