Hanging with "Team Huck"

Mike Huckabee is absolutely running for president in 2012.

He didn’t tell me this when I met him Wednesday night, but then again, he didn’t need to.

You know I’m a sucker for all things presidential, and my son was impressed when he met Gov. Huckabee at a press conference after a campaign rally earlier this year.

So we were excited to hear that Huckabee was going to appear at a local bookstore to sign copies of his new book.

The line was pretty long, but staffers passed out “rules,” saying that he could not personalize, and while people could snap photos to their heart’s content as he signed, he could not pose. This allowed him to get through a line of 460 people in about 45 minutes at another store earlier in the day.

Once he arrived, a bunch of staffers ran around dressed kind of like a NASCAR pit crew with "TEAM HUCK" on the back and ads down the sleeves. One staffer had an unusual computer mounted on a podium that took your e-mail address for future newsletters and a chance for a prize.

They were selling special embossed gift boxes with a certificate of authenticity for the signature, which one told us were available outside, on the bus.

Then walked out and saw a massive rolling billboard, with Huckabee’s face plastered on the sides, and the words, "Bringing Common sense back to America."

As I noted to my son, that's a lot of stuff just to sell a $22 book.

That said, Huckabee, as he did at the press conference, came off friendly and engaging. While staffers made sure they books moved quickly across the podium, he made sure folks had a quick word, eye-contact and a hand shake. A very polished politician.

Wolf Blitzer, Jedi knight, and other Star Wars people in the Friday Five

I’m mired in the post-baseball season, post-election blues, trapped in that middle ground between the to-be-glorious vacation and the holidays.

Hence, we get a late-evening Deezo Friday Five that might somehow lift the spirits.



1) What the hell is this? Seriously, what the heck is going on at CNN?

I spent election night bouncing around the networks watching red turn to blue, and discovered that CNN took a break from cheerleading to introduce "reporters" — newspaper bias in place — appearing as "holograms."

But without the benefit of R2-D2 doing the projecting, this looks really dumb.

"Help me, Wolf Blitzer. You’re our only hope!"

Come to think of it, Wolf Blitzer sounds like a Star Wars kind of name. So does Barack Obama.



2) One of the benefits of the election being over is that the official campaign sites are offering buttons on clearance.

The McCain campaign offers 20 pins for $10. Obama doesn’t have anything in bulk, but some shirts were half off.



3) I don’t know why teams let me buy a ticket.

The Grand Rapids Griffins had not lost a game in regulation all season — until my son and I visited Saturday to claim our McCain and Obama bobble heads.

I had a pretty good idea McCain was in trouble when the team gave away 1,000 Obama bobbles and just 876 of the McCain version. You’d think the lipstick-wearing pitbulls would lean the other way.

I knew the Griffins were in trouble when we saw the sweet uniforms worn by the Milwaukee Admirals, showing off a logo that is so minor league, and so cool at the same time.

4) Luckily the Mystery Science Theater 3000 20th Anniversary DVD set arrived last week.

The Crow T. Robot figurine alone is worth the price of admission. But having some of the classics finally on DVD is a good thing.

Like "Future War," for example. You get dinosaurs sent from the future to chase down some martial arts guy who ends up with some Tracy Nelson-wanna be conflicted nun in a half-way house full of beefy guys, all chased by big-chinned actor Robert Z’Dar who doesn’t actually get any lines.

All of this is red meat for Mike and the ‘Bots to riff.

5) I’m a big "Survivor" guy, but I’m having trouble getting into this new season in Gabon.

I missed the first couple episodes, so I was trying to pick things up on the fly. But this seems to be a pretty unlikeable group of castaways.

Crystal seems to be cranky all the time, Ace isn’t any fun and Sugar appears to have forgotten to pack her brain, and she's not gonna get that in any reward challenge.

Maybe if there was an Anderson Cooper hologram appearing at Tribal Council things would go better.

Pumpkins, candidates and other scary things

Last year’s Paul Lo Duca jack-o-lantern might have been a little too scary, so this year we just resorted to pumpkin cannibalism to greet trick-or-treaters — and to kick off the Deezo Friday Five.

1) The scariest thing that ever happened to me on Halloween occurred a couple years after we moved to Grand Rapids and I had the infamous "Bus Stop Gang" on my lawn every morning.

One of the kids in particular was difficult.

I was walking with a neighbor, taking all of our kids trick-or-treating around the subdivision, and we came upon the house where the difficult girl lived. They had what appeared to be one of those stuffed scarecrows sitting on the bench by the door with its head down.

So as we were walking up to the door, I said to the neighbor, "This is the house where the pain-in-the-ass kid lives."

And, and the last word left my lips, the scarecrow’s head picked up and said, "Boo." It was the father.

I felt bad, at least when my heart started again.

But my neighbor suspected that the father already knew his daughter was a pain in the ass, and that we just learned that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

2) We’re heading to see the Grand Rapids Griffins on Saturday night because the team is giving away bobble heads of John McCain and Barack Obama wearing Griffins sweaters.

Supposedly, the team has 1,000 of each, and people will have a choice of which one they want. When they run out of a bobble of a particular candidate, he is declared the winner, allowing the team of lawyers to immediately call for a recount.

There is no proof that ACORN is trying to get people to buy multiple tickets and return to the line again and again.

But to be honest, I’m bringing along my son so we can snag one bobble of each candidate.

I thought this was really original until I saw that another minor league hockey team doing the same thing. Doesn’t make it less cool, though.

We haven’t gone to too many Griffins games since the infamous Napoleon Dynamite incident, so this will be an opportunity for redemption.

3) Speaking of bobbles, I pre-bought the latest Hawk Nelson CD back in March because it came with a special four-headed figure.

But when I went to get the CD, I was told that every single bobble arrived broken, and that the company was replacing them. That was April 1. I asked about the bobbles every time I’ve been in the store since, and was told each time that the replacements had not yet arrived.

Finally, on Thursday, I was able to take home what is a better bobble than I thought. Usually when there are multiple guys on one stand, they get shrunk down. But this is pretty sweet.

For the unfamiliar, Hawk Nelson is sort of rock band with Christian leanings and puts on a heck of a show.

4) The Crane Pool Forum has been debating a Times of London listing of U.S. presidents. I thought Theodore Roosevelt was a little low at No. 5, but it’s hard to argue against Abraham Lincoln at the top.

Driving home from St. Louis, I passed through Lincoln, Ill. The town’s claim to fame is that Abe christened Lincoln in 1853, with watermelon juice, and the town's colors are red and green. It’s the only town named for Abraham Lincoln before he became famous.

The town once had a grand plan to built a 10-story statue of Abe spilling the juice that people could climb into, like the pre-Sept. 11 Statue of Liberty.

Apparently this plan is on hold, but I did find this neat fiberglass Abe at a big intersection.

5) I was aware the Mark Knopfler made a CD with Emmylou Harris a while back. But I did not know that they made a live version that included some of Mark’s other solo work and even two of my favorite Dire Straits songs.

It was a CD-DVD combo, which was pretty expensive. But I pounced when I saw iTunes made the CD version available.

"Romeo and Juliet" is spectacular and "So Far Away" is simply stunning, with Emmylou’s voice drifting into the chorus.

Happy Halloween!

Every signature tells a story: Stephen King kicking butt

All the presidential campaign activity reminded me of one of my favorite autograph stories.

Stephen King, I learned, is an awesome writer, but not much of political pundit.

This discovery came back in 1984 when I was the editor of the Nassau Community College newspaper and we got word that King – my favorite author at the time -- was appearing unannounced downstairs in the Student Union.

King, we were told, was speaking on behalf of Sen. Gary Hart, who was seeking the Democratic nomination for president.

Not that it mattered. King could have been reading the minutes of the last student government meeting out loud and we still would have scrambled down the stairs to catch a glimpse. And there, standing without a crowd, was the master of the macabre, the man who penned “Cujo,” “Carrie” and “Christine.”

Tall and bearded, King looked as imposing as one of the characters in his spooky books.

I bravely walked over and introduced myself, and went into reporter mode.

“Why,” I asked, “should someone support Gary Hart.?”

King looked down, furrowed his brow and said – growled, more accurately – “Because he’s gonna kick Reagan’s ass.”

The last three words were said slowly as if each were followed by a period. They sounded more menacing than they appear in print.

And then nothing more.

I was going to venture a follow-up question, maybe something about a particular aspect of Hart’s proposals that King might have particularly liked.

But frankly, the whole ass-kicking thing threw me off guard. And I was totally star-struck. I might have thrown out something like, “I really liked ‘The Dead Zone.’” before handing him my reporter’s notebook to autograph.

Looking back, of course, it was The Gipper who extended boot to buttocks, dropping a 49-state smackdown on Walter Mondale.

And King’s candidate, Gary Hart, will forever go down in history as the man who, through his misdeeds on the Monkey Business, opened the door to a whole new kind of political reporting, the horror story that is the poking and prodding into personal lives of the people who run for office.

The only thing scarrier might be the phrase, "Now warming up in the Mets' bullpen..."

Give me "The Shining" over Schoenweis any day!

Covering President Bush and Air Force One

I had a fun time covering President Bush's arrival in Grand Rapids, and his departure, too. Here are a couple photos to get you going, and I'll post some more that tell what it's like when a sitting president comes to your town.

A late Friday Five? Blame the Wii Cult

OK, so I’m in a cult. My second one, actually.

First it was an iPod cult, and I’ve managed to spread the love to the rest of my family.

But now we’re all in a Nintendo Wii cult, and that will be the lead item in the celebrated, but not always timely, Deezo Friday Five.

1) You have to understand that I’m not much of a video game guy. I’d play MLB Slugfest until my son finally got tired of beating me. And my daughter and I have fun with with an ancient Nintendo system playing some version of Mario Bros. But that’s about it.

Then Will’s brother Scott introduced me to the Wii during this year’s Executive Game weekend. We played before the game between the Mets and the Reds, and long into the night afterward. I was hooked.

My awesome parents bestowed Wiis on the family for Christmas. We had the option of opening it right away or waiting until Christmas. If Costco can have Christmas decorations up already, it must be close enough. We’ve been playing pretty much non-stop since Thursday.


2) It was a spectacular and unseasonably warm fall day here in West Michigan. I took a Wii break to get the kayak out on the mighty Grand River one last time.

Apparently everyone else had the same idea.

I saw seven other kayakers, a moron on a JetSki, three people in boats who are unaware of the rule about slowing down around kayaks, two pontoon boats – one of which had to be towed – multiple fishing boats and, get this, a sea plane. And I was only out there about an hour.

But the scenery was amazing, with the fall colors just starting to burst. We missed church this morning, but I couldn’t help but be in awe of the beauty of the world God has blessed us with and felt His presence.



3) I’m having a difficult time getting excited about the playoffs. The Mets, of course, didn’t make it. The Cubs choked. The White Sox gagged. I obviously can’t root for the Phillies. I’m tied of the Red Sox, or, as Will calls the, the BoSkanks, since he said there is little difference between them at this point. I’m stilled ticked at the Dodgers for 1988 and because they rolled over for the Yanks in 1977. Plus their manager has some Yankee taint.


That leaves the Rays, who have some former Mets and are benefiting from the karma Met Muffin and I passed along in Detroit.



4) I finally have the campaign pins I wanted for my collection.

I’m picky. There are rules. I like pins that have photos of both people on the ticket and hopefully the year. I picked up some cool McCain-Palin pins when they were in town last month.

But I ordered two Obama-Biden buttons from their Web Site. They took the money quickly, but I waited and waited and waited for the pins. It took nearly a month.

When a campaign takes a month to get a couple buttons to a guy living in a battleground state, that’s a telling sign.

5) Michigan’s economy is hurting the concert industry. I went to see Relient K (with Ludo, This Providence and House of Heroes) in Grand Rapids at a place called the Orbit Room on Friday.

I took my 16-year-old son, his buddy and my 11-year-old daughter. Orbit room is an old venue/bar, with standing room on the floor and seats in a balcony. Not sure what capacity is, but it's probably several thousand.

I figured I'd let the boys hang out on the floor, and my daughter and I would sit in the balcony so she could see well.

But the balcony was closed, and a bouncer said they need a crowd of at leat 1,100 to open it, and that they expected 800 for that show. I bet they drew twice that when they came to the same place two years ago.

I was stunned, since Relient K is really popular, especially with youth groups. Tickets were relatively cheap, too, at $20. But he said that the Michigan economy is so bad that even bands that tend to draw well have problems selling tickets.

But they let us drag two bar stools behind the soundboards so my daughter could see.

It was a good show, Relient K never disappoints. Plus, the guys working the boards let us have the set lists for my son’s collection.











The band’s hit, “I Must Have Done Something Right,” is far and away the leader on the iPod’s play count list. Here’s the video.

Covering Obama in Grand Rapids

I love covering presidential candidates, and it doesn’t matter whether they area a Democrat or a Republican. The presidency, and all of its trappings, is majestic and so uniquely American.

Thursday I was able to play a small role in our coverage of Barack Obama’s visit to Grand Rapids. The most interesting parts to me aren’t necessarily what you see on the news, but the little details, the things that go into making an event like this so exciting.

It starts long before the candidate arrives. There is a lot of strategy at work.

I brought my camera along, and, like when I visit a ballpark, I snap away and anything that moves – and doesn’t move.

I’ll show a bunch of those shots here.

Here's the view from the main media photo riser. Note the positioning of the stage and the visual elements, such as the huge "Change" sign dead center. If you hear nothing the candidate says, you'll still see the word "Change," the message the campaign wants you to get.

I like to stroll the blocks around an event. That’s where some of the most colorful people are – passionate folks willing to wait on long lines because they don’t have VIP passes, the protesters and the vendors.

Unlike the McCain event last month, there were very few people protesting. But there were more people selling things than I’ve ever seen.

There was no shortage of gear available.

Usually you get the roaming button dealers. Last month I saw a couple tents with some t-shirts.

But today there were people selling caps and shirts of all colors and designs up and down the street. There were vendors with photos and posters – few of which appeared to be authorized by the campaigns, but I suspect they’d rather have people walking around showing support than quibble over royalties over a logo.

Inside, things are more controlled. Especially the message. The real target at these events are not the thousands of people who are present, but the hundreds of thousands of people who might see the photos in the newspaper or its Web site or on television.

You’ll see hand-made signs in the crowd, and those are indeed made simply – but by campaign volunteers. They only want cameras to see the messages the campaign wants them to see. They pass them out to people who are happy to wave them.

You’ll also see the mass-produced signs with the campaign theme of the week, be that “Country First” for McCain or “Change We Need” for Obama. These are distributed right before the candidate arrives.

Usually there are a string of local speakers to get the crowd warmed up, and if they do their job the place will be electric. I’ve said before there is almost a crackling building to a crescendo by the time the candidate takes the stage. The only things I can compare it to are a band at its peak launching into its best song, or, say, David Wright making the upper deck of Shea shake after a walk-off win against the Yankees.

That seemed a little lacking today. But that could be because of the early hour, or because an outside event just won’t have the volume as a packed house. The positioning of the stage favored the media – remember the visuals – rather than a lot of attendees who I’m not sure had a decent view of Obama, or any at all.

Obama is a charismatic personality, and certainly a gifted speaker – especially before an adoring crowd. It was a treat to watch him and study not just what he said, but how he said it.

OK, there are a couple of cool things going on here. The guy in the sunglasses is a Secret Service agent. Do not mess with him. Do not even entertain thoughts of messing with him. The Obama Biden sign he is partially blocking is bullet-proof. Another one is covered by the bunting. They're placed at either side of the podium so that if something happens they agents can get the candidate in a sheltered area. The tilted glass on the poles on both sides of the podium are TelePrompTers, which allow the candidate to read the speech and still look up at the audience.

I noticed he was reading off a TelePrompTer, which I’ve never seen at a rally before. But comparing my notes and the prepared text made available to the media, I noticed he deviated a fair amount.

You don’t get deep policy discussions or details at a rally. The idea is to fire people up and provide the visuals. And truth be told, they’re a lot of fun to cover.

Getting close -- but not too close -- to Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin

John McCain and Sarah Palin each arrived safely in Grand Rapids before their appearance here on Wednesday.

I know this because I was there – just in case.

An appearance by the president or vice president, or the people running for those jobs, requires reporters to be present for a variety of tasks.

Some assignments, like covering the actual town hall meeting, are kind of glamorous. My role on Wednesday was not so glamorous, but still fun, especially for a presidential junkie like me.

We call it “death watch,” because, in theory, nothing newsworthy happens unless it’s the unspeakable. And if it’s the unspeakable, we need to be there.

But some things that are not necessarily newsworthy are still fun to watch.

Typically, we head to a remote area of the airport where the cargo jets park, which is much easier to secure than your basic terminal -- though it makes it harder for the candidates to stock up on postcards, $3.50 bottles of Diet Coke and $3 bagels.

The Secret Service is at the gate, and the level of security depends on the person arriving. For McCain, we needed to show identification and submit to a metal detector. For a sitting president, ramp that up about 10 times with all kinds of prior approval.

Waiting at the arrival spot is the entire motorcade, and police escort and a flat bed truck on which the media stands – close, but not too close.

There also are a group of official greeters, who usually are campaign volunteers, donors or party honchos.


Sen. McCain's blue and white jet arrived and taxied to a spot on the apron, and two of the movable staircases were pulled into place. The one in the rear of the plane opened first, with staffers and members of the traveling media, some of whom scrambled to the other staircase near the greeters to get photos of McCain stepping out of the front door and waving.

McCain then met with the greeters and posed for snapshots for a couple minutes as the motorcade moved into place when rushed away.

About 15 minutes later, the jet carrying Gov. Palin arrived. Her plane was smaller and not as colorful, though it did say “McCain Palin” instead of just “McCain.”

The same greeters and two mobile staircases pulled into place, and Palin walked out with her husband, Todd.

One of the greeters was a GOP volunteer with Down syndrome, and I noticed that Palin spent a great deal of time with her, giving hugs and posing for many photos. It was a nice moment, the kind of stuff that makes hanging around on a flatbed truck worth the time.

Talking to the woman later, I pointed out that she had more one-on-one time with the candidate than the entire press corps during Palin's visit.

Palin and staff then moved into an SUV that was part of a smaller motorcade before it, too, rushed away.

After talking to the greeters about meeting both candidates, I phoned in the details so we could post the information on the paper’s Web site.

Later in the afternoon I walked down to Grand Rapids Community College, the site of the event.

I found about 10 vendors selling campaign pins – more than I’ve ever seen at a political event – and even several tents selling T-shirts, bumper stickers and stuffed bears with the campaign logo.

After picking up some sweet pins for my collection, I found one vendor who brought his Obama pins along, too. Score! One-stop shopping is a good thing.

Remember, these vendors are businessmen, not partisans. The same people will be back when the Dems are in town, too.

The protesters also were already in place. I’ve never quite understood the whole protest thing.
They are absolutely entitled to stand there, yelling and carrying signs. But they’re not going to change the minds of anybody standing more than an hour in line to see the candidates.

I think some of them like to argue and some like the attention. When I interview them, I look for the ones who appear to put a little effort into their signs. They tend to be a bit more passionate, and can give an answer better than “Bush sucks.”

I love covering these events, even a small part like deathwatch. Barack Obama came to town during the summer, and I’m hoping he or Sen. Biden will make another swing through the area at least once before Election Day.

Tom Seaver again denied a spot on the ticket

Well, both presidential candidates have picked their running mates, and once again, Tom Seaver was not selected. I didn’t even see him on anyone’s short list.

Gross oversights aside, I’m glad to see the tickets assembled because I can start adding to my campaign pin collection, which kicks off the special Labor Day edition of the Deezo Friday Five.

1) I’ve been rounding up campaign pins and other political items since I was a kid and the parties had trailers or storefronts set up on Park Boulevard in Massapequa Park during election season.

Now I have them going back to 1896 with a goal of getting at least one from each ticket for each election since then. John W. Davis, the Democrat who got squished by Calvin Coolidge, remains elusive.

It took years to finally land a pin from James Cox's 1920 campaign. Legend goes that the party knew it would get pounded by Warren Harding, so didn't produce all that many items. And now too many folks held on to them once those perceptions proved to be correct.

His running mate seemed to make an impact -- it was Franklin Roosevelt.

I try to avoid such potential shortages by pouncing at the earliest opportunities. The best, or at least the most fun, places to buy pins are at rallies. There are always people working the fringes with boards covered with assorted pins. But few, if any, of these are official.

That means you have to go right to the campaigns. Both sides will have campaign headquarters where such things will be for sale -- and sometimes they're even free! Of course, they'll try to give you yard signs, too. A skilled collector will be able to exit the headquarters both without a yard sign or explaining that he doesn't actually support the candidate, but wanted a pin.

The campaign Web sites all have stores now. John Kerry's 2004 site had a special with about 25 different pins for one low price.

Alas, a trend in recent years as made pins more elusive. That is the dreaded sticker. I suspect they're way cheaper to produce. But 30 years from now a sticker just isn't going to look as cool as my pins.

I'm proudest of my glorious Theodore Roosevelt pins, but my favorite is from one of Dwight Eisenhower's campaigns. Democratic challenger Adali Stevenson was photographed in Flint with a hole in his show -- the shot earned the paper it's Pulitzer Prize. Eisnhower's people made this a campaign theme, with pins reading "Don't let this happen to you!" and showing the shoe.

But Stevenson used the image to portray himself as a common man, and made hole-in-sole tie pins. Very cool.

I search out the pins that list both the president and vice president because it seems more complete. And now that Sarah Palin and Joe Biden are on board, the search begins.

2) You’d think otters were the most dangerous critters running free in our woodlands these days, but a crazed woodchuck took over our neighborhood.

No, really. It was outside in the daytime, which you know right there is a sign that not all is well.

And when my wife sprayed him with a hose, just stood there looked all pissed off instead of scooting. We knew for sure something was wrong when he started walking around in circles on the neighbor’s lawn.

Then again, I was doing that, too, after Scott Schoenweis gave up that leadoff triple in the first game against the Phillies. At least I knew when to scoot when the neighbors got out the hose.

In the end, it took representatives from three households — and onlookers from at least two others — to catch the beast and drive him deep into the woods where he can contemplate the shortcomings of the Mets bullpen without so many people around.

3) Speaking of the spurned running mate, I’ve pretty much decided this Upper Deck Goudey card of Tom Seaver is the best thing to happen on cardboard this year.

4) The only things I know about tennis is that the U.S. Open usually has a T-shirt with a sweet Statue of Liberty design and that there used to be decent parking for Mets games by the tennis stadium.

But apparently James Blake is one of us, and openly supports his favorite team during matches. Maybe he can throw some innings in relief.

5) I know some pretty famous people, as you can tell from this photo taken Wednesday at Michigan’s Adventure, a sweet theme park that is both a water park and traditional amusement park.

You can tell this was taken early in the day because I’m not yet suffering from extreme sunburn, which seems to happen each year regardless of how much sunblock I apply.

The water park is always fun, but I'm starting to fear the rougher coasters. I swear I could feel my inner organs rearranging on the Wolferine Wildcat.

I do have to question the use of Peanuts characters as the park’s mascots. Does anyone under 30 remember Snoopy’s golden era.

“I hate Peanuts,” my son said as we walked past the pile of Charlie Brown plush in the gift shop. “It’s not even funny.”

Good grief.

Ford to Jeter: Drop Dead

Well, not quite.

But that famous Daily News headline is on display at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum and Capt. Hype was properly dismissed in a new exhibit.

The museum here in Grand Rapids does a phenomenal job combining my two areas of interest. For the second time in the past couple years, the presidential museum has hosted an exhibit about baseball.

Created in conjunction with the George Herbert Walker Bush Museum, “Born to Play Ball” is intended to inspire debate.

The exhibit lists what someone has determined to be the top 50 players – five for each position, plus right-handed and left-handed pitchers. Then, there is a secondary list called “Best of the Rest,” which is kind of cheating.

Naturally there are some problems here. Some of the lists didn’t even include Mets. Each section had a little bio plaque and an artifact for each player – some of which were amazingly awesome. There also were displays for the Negro Leagues and the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.

But the coolest thing to me was a collection of signed baseballs – Richard Nixon and every president since, most of the first ladies, John McCain and Barack Obama and a host of world leaders. That’s something you just never see.

Using a coupon from the West Michigan Whitecaps program, I spent a lunch hour first paying respects to President Ford, then enjoying the exhibit. It’s here until January, which means there is time to make some, um, corrections.

OK, let’s get to the players:

Catchers: Yogi Berra, Johnny Bench, Mike Piazza, Roy Campanella and Ivan Rodriguez. Best of rest: Carlton Fisk, Mickey Cochrane.

Piazza and Berra are proud Mets, Campanella is kind of a pre-Met, at least according to our team owners and new ballpark. Bench swiped Jerry Koosman’s Rookie of the Year Award, but we like him anyway. Rodriguez is only a reluctant Yankee.

Yogi’s artifact, by the way, was a signed harmonica box. Phil Linz would be so proud.

Shortstop: Honus Wagner, Alex Rodriguez, Ernie Banks, Cal Ripken Jr. Robin Yount. Best of rest: Ozzie Smith and Arky Vaughn.

Yount is a clear Hall-of-Famer, but among the five best shortstops of all-time? And where’s Jose Reyes and Bud Harrelson? On the bright side, Derek F. Jeter is nowhere to be found, so I give them credit for recognizing the fraud that is the Jeter Hero Cult. But don't let Tom Verducci find out about this, or there will be a spleen-venting the likes of which we have never seen!

Left field: Ted Williams, Barry Bonds, Stan Musial, Pete Rose, Carl Yastrzemski. Best of rest: Joe Jackson, Rickey Henderson, Willie Stargell

Can’t argue with Teddy Ballgame or Stan the Man. Yaz is a good Long Islander. I was surprised to see Rose, given that he’s usually banned from such things. Then I saw Bonds, and I refused to read his bio plaque because all suspect that he doesn’t belong and that space can do to a more worthy player, like Cleon Jones or Endy Chavez.

Then things got even more problematic.

Right-handed pitcher: Cy Young, Walter Johnson, Grover Cleveland Alexander, Nolan Ryan, Roger Clemens. Best of the rest: Christy Mathewson, Tom Seaver , Bob Gibson

Ryan’s over-rated, but he was a Met so we cut him some slack. But to see Bat-chucker there in the top five and Tom Seaver delegated to also-ran status is just a travesty. Naturally, I got all weepy reading the Seaver bio plaque and had no interest in the Clemens puffery.

Left-handed pitcher: Warren Spahn, Sandy Koufax, Lefty Grove, Carl Hubbell, Steve Carlton. Best of the rest: Whitey Ford, Randy Johnson

Spahnnie’s a former Met. Koufax has enough Mets connections that he qualifies.

Right-fielders: Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Mel Ott, Frank Robinson, Roberto Clemente. Best of the rest: Tony Gwynn, Reggie Jackson, Paul Waner

It’s nice to see Mel Ott get the love, as he is usually overlooked, usually for a punk like Reggie Jackson. Clemente’s vest jersey was on display and just commands respect.

Third base: Mike Schmidt, Eddie Mathews, Brooks Robinson, George Brett, Pie Traynor Best of the rest: Ken Boyer, Wade Boggs, Ron Santo

OK, clearly David Wright, Edgardo Alfonzo and Wayne Garrett should be here. But check out the “Best of the Rest.” Neither Boyer nor Santo have been in enshrined in Cooperstown. So the sixth- and eighth-best third-basemen of all-time aren’t worthy? The museum gets it right, the baseball writers who vote on the Hall of Fame did not.

Second base: Rogers Hornsby, Eddie Collins, Joe Morgan, Jackie Robinson, Roberto Alomar. Best of the Rest: Ryne Sandberg, Nap Lajoie, Rod Carew, Bill Mazeroski

Alomar’s a former Met, Hornsby’s a former Mets coach and our new stadium is a Robinson tribute, so he counts.

But wait! Is that Joe Morgan the ESPN broadcaster? Joe played the game? You’d think he’d mention that once or twice or a hundred times during each edition of Sunday Night Baseball.

Centerfield: Willie Mays, Ty Cobb, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Ken Griffey Jr. Best of the Rest: Tris Speaker

Willie obviously waves the Mets flag here. I’m stunned that they list only one player in the “Best of the Rest.” Former Met Duke Snider doesn’t even merit a mention?

First base: Lou Gehrig, Jimmy Foxx, Eddie Murray, Harmon Killebrew and Willie McCovey. Best of the rest: Mark McGwire, Johnny Mize

Murray’s our Met here, but where in the heck is Keith Hernandez? It’s another glaring and stunning omission.

Now, I don’t hold McGwire in the same contempt that I do Bonds and Clemens, so I started reading his bio. And I was stunned to see a reference to him performing under suspicion of steroid use.

I thought, “They’re gonna out McGwire, yet let not call Bonds and Bat-chucker on the carpet for laundry list of alleged sins?”

So I scurried back over to the pitchers’ section and scanned the Clemens bio. Sure enough, there was a big note at the bottom saying that the exhibit was put together just after the Mitchell report had become public, and that Clemens was implicated.

Then I walked over to Bonds, and, again, a large portion of his bio covered the cloud of ‘roids suspicion.

Walking away, I was pretty impressed. While the Mets didn’t quite get as much love as they deserve, there was no Jeter to be found, and Bat-chucker was held accountable for his alleged cheating.

Then I went down to the museum store, which is usually well-stocked with cool things. There was a nice assortment of baseball books and ties and some Hall of Fame postcards.

Then I saw those Uno decks with the boxes in the shape of team jerseys. Staring right at me was the white Mets jersey version and the black jersey version.

And get this – the Mets were the only team represented! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for one of these for the basement baseball shrine?

Now I have no idea why they would only have Mets versions. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions, at least not until finishing the “Yes-yes!” dance.

So let’s review: Piazza praised, Jeter denied, Clemens dissed, president-signed baseballs displayed and long-sought souvenir needs fulfilled.

It was a good day.

Cleveland sites creepy -- but kinda cool

Where in the heck is Rush?

That, I explained to my son, is a very valid question.

But gaping induction holes aside, we had fine time on the second day of our Cleveland adventure.

We made it to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum just before it opened, arriving just ahead of a tour bus full of people we suspected would be absolutely horrified at much of what they were about to see inside.

The hall is a neat-looking building — designed by I.M. Pei — but I wonder if its unusual shape limits what organizers can display, because for all its size, there doesn’t really seem to be all that much space, and much of the space that is there doesn’t easily lend itself to displays.

My wife and I visited the hall not too long after it opened in 1995, and I checked it out again with the Baseball Truth gang in 2003, discovered that there had been almost a total overhaul – a dramatic improvement.

You might be wondering why such an institution is in Cleveland. A sign out front reads that Cleveland disc jockey Alan Freed is credited with coining the term "rock and roll" and that the city was the location of the first rock concert. What it doesn’t say was that civic leaders pledged $65 million in public money to fund the construction, which didn’t hurt.

One of the few things you are allowed to photograph in the hall: The Trabant cars from U2's Zoo TV tour.

We started in the lower level with the baseball exhibit and found it kind of lacking, but they did show a Dwight Gooden album that I never knew existed.

My favorite part of the lower level is the display of all the stage clothes. There’s a good representation of everyone from Aerosmith to ZZ Top. For people who are supposed to be larger than life, rock stars are often smaller folks, at least that what it looks like when you see their outfits.

Pausing at the David Bowie exhibit, I saw a kid who looked to be 12 studying some "Ziggy Stardust" era artifacts and say "Is that a boy or a girl?" and suspected Bowie would have been pleased.

Not having any Kiss outfits on display is a gaping hole in the exhibit, but I’ve heard that stems from Gene Simmons refusing to offer up anything unless he got a cut of the admission fees. We can’t fault the museum for that.


But there are plenty of interesting relics, including John Lennon’s piano and glasses, one of Elvis’s jumpsuits and Billy Joel’s motorcycle.

Heading upstairs, we found a new Ramones display that was just glorious — a set list even includes when Dee Dee would yell "one-two-three-four" between songs. We immediately picked Joey out of his elementary school class photo in his Cub Scouts uniform.

We also found the display that includes the cremains of Alan Freed. This is either really creepy or really cool. Or both.

The actual "hall of fame" is an audio-visual presentation showing each year’s inductees and snippets of songs, lyrics and interviews – and in the case of the Sex Pistols, their letter calling the museum "a piss stain" and stating why the surviving members chose not to appear at the induction ceremony.

Most of the songs selected to represent the inductees were obvious choices, some seemed of odd. For Madonna, the hall picked "Vogue." It seemed strange to select a throw-away track on a greatest hits CD that is better known for its video for someone who has a boatload of iconic hits.

And is "Kiss," the best example of Prince’s work? I thought something – anything – from "Purple Rain" would be better. And "Why Can’t This Be Love?" sure isn’t what I think of when I think of Van Halen.


The hallway leading out passes what used to be the hall, etched glass with simulated autographs, the names of the performers and the year inducted. It was kind of a letdown when it was all there was. But it’s perfect as a compliment to the video.

Then you pass through another temporary exhibit – this time it’s about the Beatles’ movie "Help!" – before taking a circular staircase to the very top of the building. That used to be the proper hall with the etched glass. Now its more temporary exhibit space, now dedicated to The Doors.

One my favorite exhibits includes some of the huge stage props from Pink Floyd’s "The Wall" tour, which was a big part of the soundtrack for anyone going to high school in the early 1980s.

After navigating the massive gift store, we walked around the lakeside for a little bit then moved on to our last adventure.

We had to work presidents into this trip somewhere, and James A. Garfield has what must be the most unusual of all presidential tombs. The 20th president rests in Lake View Cemetery on the city’s east side.

We arrived at the castle-like memorial about 4:02 — only to find it closed at 4 p.m. We ran up the stairs and found the doors already locked, and were about to walk away when it slowly opened.

The caretaker said he was sorry, and that he had just closed. I asked if we could quickly pay our respects, and was slowly shaking his head when I added, "We’re from Michigan!"

I intended this to show that we came a long way, forgetting that in Ohio State University country, this is like saying, "I would like to be pushed to the ground and kicked."

But I also know that people who volunteer to staff such places do so because they are passionate about the subject.

He opened the door all the way and said, "Let me go and turn all the lights back on."

Yes!


And once inside we saw a spectacular rotunda with a large white statue of Garfield, dramatically lit. The caretaker said the architect didn’t want the statue in there, thinking it was unnecessary, but was overruled by the committee overseeing the project.

The caretaker pointed out some of the features, then sent us to the circular stone staircase to the lower level.

And there, on simple stone pedestals, were the caskets of President Garfield and his wife, Lucretia as well as urns containing the cremains of their daughter and her husband.


I’ve been to a number of presidential gravesites, and in every other place the caskets are either buried or stashed in a vault. Like with Freed, I couldn’t decided whether this was cool or creepy.

I didn’t want to impose any longer, so we rushed back upstairs and thanked the caretaker profusely. But he said we weren’t done, and pointed to stairs leading up to an observation deck, where, he said, we’d have the best view of the Cleveland skyline in the city. And he was correct.

Asking him to stamp my National Parks passport would have been pushing our luck, so we were on our way.

Lake View is home to a number of other famous Ohio residents, including John D. Rockefeller, lawman Eliot Ness and Ray Chapman, the Indians player killed during a game.

We found Rockefeller and stumbled upon Ness, but were unable to locate Chapman before deciding we needed to start our 5-hour trek back to Grand Rapids.