Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is full of Rizzutos

Madonna?

Well, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has now joined the Baseball Hall of Fame in jumping the shark.

Actually, the two institutions are more alike than anyone suspects. The people voting on the baseball hall seem to be overly generous to the players they worshipped as kids and ignore more recent stars, who they watched play every day and became more aware of their faults.

Then you have the old Veterans Committee tossing in their buddies, like Phil Rizzuto.

The rock hall is pretty much the same thing. Note the lack of 1980s and 1970s bands in there.

Since we have long bemoaned the failings of the baseball hall, let’s turn out focus on the rock hall, which this week inducted John Mellencamp -- yes! -- and Madonna.

I’ll list bands that, like Keith Hernandez, have long been denied recognition. Plus, for each one we’ll offer up a Rizzuto, people and bands with no business in that building without buying a ticket.

Hernandez: Rush
Rush was hall-worthy the moment "Moving Pictures" was released. The fact that the band continues to produce outstanding music and incredible tours 25 years later and is universally respected by its musical peers later begs the question: What exactly does one have to do to get in the place? It's as if the baseball hall didn't have the game's all-time hits leader. Oh, wait...

Rizzuto: Bee Gees
The Bee Gees are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Let that rumble around the cranium for a moment or two. The personification of the disco era. I’m not saying the brothers don’t have some great songs. They do. It’s just that none of them are rock and roll. And Barry Gibb’s falsetto makes Geddy Lee sound like Barry White.

Hernandez: Kiss
Influential? Check. Longevity? Check. Biggest band in the land at one point? Check. Best album cover of all time? Check. Cool action figures? Check. What are they missing here?

Rizzuto: Grace Slick
I have no problem inducting Jefferson Airplane/Jefferson Starship/Starship if for no other reason than "White Rabbit" is funny as a period piece. Plus they get points for writing about "Alice in Wonderland," showing that stoned rockers can read classic literature or at least were coherent enough to watch the Disney movie.

But Grace as a solo artist? Granted, there is precedence here, as the baseball writers seemed intent on inducting every member of the 1927 Yankees. But this is one sum that is greater than its parts.

Now, if she could breathe fire, spit blood and wear menacing dragon boots, it would be different.


Hernandez: Foreigner
OK, this is sort of a combination ballot of Foreigner, Styx and Journey, the so-called "corporate rock" bands that ruled the late 1970s and 1980s. All three have been dissed, and I can’t figure out why. Some of the Styx stuff that overdoses on keyboards sounds a little dated, but much of the music from these three bands holds up pretty well. I dare say "Urgent" is better than anything in the Billboard Top 100 today. The fact that "The Sopranos" made a big deal out of "Don’t Stop Believing" shows its staying power.

Rizzuto: The Dells.
Do-wop is not rock and roll. It just isn’t. They’re in the Vocal Group Hall of Fame, and I’m fine with that. But they don’t belong here. And same thing goes for The Coasters, the Moonglows, the Drifers, the Teenagers, the Ink Spots, the Impressions and the Flamingos -- all of which are members.


Hernandez: Twisted Sister
An atrocity. Kick-ass Long Island bar bands should get to go to the front of the line. Standing up to Tipper Gore should at least get the band in the conversation. Where was Jackson Browne and his protest-loving ilk when Dee Snider was up there smacking down Mrs. Global Warming?

Rizzuto: Ritchie Valens
Hold on, hear me out before you start yelling. I love "La Bamba." And "Donna" is a nice song. And it sucks that Valens was killed just as his career was starting. But if a hall of fame career is based on one awesome song and one nice ballad, then you’re going to have to expand the heck out of the place. He’s the Mark Fidrych of rock, except that Fidrych was fortunate enough to just blow out his arm instead of being in a plane crash. And Mark Fidrych is not in the Hall of Fame.



Hernandez: ABBA
I’m not a huge ABBA fan, but this is another group that made an undeniable impact. And there’s a chance they were the biggest band in the world at one point. There must be some kind of anti-Swedish bias.

Rizzuto: Dusty Springfield.
How many times in your life have you ever thought: "Dusty Springfield, she rocks!" Yes, she had some nice hits and sold some records. So did Joan Jett. And Joan Jett rocks! One awesome cameo in a Pet Shop Boys song does not make one a rocker.

Alas, we're only scratching the surface. Boston, Cheap Trick, Genesis, Yes, Asia, Motorhead, Judas Priest.....all on the outside looking in, just like Andre Dawson, Dale Murphy, Jim Rice and Bert Blyleven.

Tiger Stadium? Kiss it goodbye

Tough weekend for a couple legends.

First, the Detroit City Council finally agreed to demolish Tiger Stadium, which has been sitting neglected since the last game in 1999.

Then, Kiss co-founder Paul Stanley had what his is calling a "cardiac event" prior to a concert in California, forcing the band to play as a trio for only the second time.

Naturally, I have a story about both. I’ve spent many a night at Tiger Stadium, but the strangest had to be when Kiss kicked off its reunion tour there on June 28, 1996.

You know I’m loyal to a fault, and that extends to bands in addition to baseball teams. So I’ve been a Kiss fan since junior high school. Co-workers think this is odd.

The Journal’s music writer knew of my devotion and brought me along as a "consultant" since they throw you out of the critics club if you know too much about Kiss. That, and I might have begged for a week.

I had a feeling that things could get a little out of control. This was confirmed as we were walking across the dirt parking lot and a female concert-goer decided that would be a good place to stop walking, drop her pants and relieve herself. I think she might have been drinking.

Inside was your typical stadium concert set-up, with the stage running from centerfield into right, with the huge inflatable figures of Paul, Gene, Peter and Ace. The outfield was filled with what I thought were rather flimsy folding chairs, with the first 40 or so rows separated from the rest of the chairs on the field.

We watched opening acts Sponge and Alice in Chains from the press box while Doug filed the first part of his story, then made our way to our seats: Dead center, row 27.

It seemed that security on the field was lax, and perhaps people who did not have field seats were getting onto the field. Thousands of them.

The infield started filling as it closer to show time. I looked back once and saw security guards standing arm-in-arm trying to make a human chain to keep people back, and they were already straining.

Doug, on crutches because of a softball injury, took a look at this and said he was heading back to the safety of the press box, but said I was welcome to stay. I started to go with him, then thought "I’m a big boy. What’s the worst thing that can happen? I’m not going to let a couple, well, a couple thousand, drunks ruin my chance to see the first show of the Kiss reunion tour from the 27th row."

Doug had no sooner escaped when the security line broke and waves of people rushed into the close seats toward the stage.

I looked behind me and saw a guy in a denim jacket and thigh-high Gene Simmons Destroyer-era dragon head boots, red eyes and all. I have no idea where someone can acquire such things.

I told the guy I was impressed. He made it clear that he was going to be closer to the stage, and that I was going to get out of his way. Quickly. Which I did, because you don’t mess with people wearing thigh-high Gene Simmons Destroyer-era dragon head boots, red eyes and all.

Finally, the lights went down, the curtain dropped and Kiss burst on stage playing "Deuce," then "King of the Night Time World."

I last saw the boys in full face-painted glory at my first concert, the 1979 Dynasty tour at Madison Square Garden. So this was like a rock and roll dream come true.

There was a lot of pushing and shoving, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Everyone was standing on the flimsy folding chairs, which had plastic seats and backrests. I could see heads bopping up and down, then they’d shoot down under the line of heads — after their seats broke.

These chairs were light, and somebody got the idea to throw their broken chair up in the air. Then, a lot of people seemed to think this was a good idea. You’d see chairs spinning up in their air like Frisbees, landing on hapless concert attendees several rows away.

This made me a little more concerned. But again, I was a big boy and had the advantage of not being drunk or stoned. Most of these people were too spaced to throw the chairs all that hard.

Occasionally, a person pushing through to get closer tried to camp in our row. One guy, there’s a chance he was drunk, pushed his way into the row in front of me, shoved someone off their chair, stood on it and began flailing his arms wildly, a strange response to "Firehouse" to be sure.

As you can imagine, this was ticking people off. He nearly hit me a couple times. And, he was blocking my view of Ace.

Then, I did something terrible, totally out of character. I gave the guy a one-handed shove right between the shoulder blades, knocking him off his chair. He stood up in a daze — well, he had probably been in a daze since noon — and wandered off into another row.

I was terrible, stunned at my own behavior. Shoving people! I was filled with guilt and remorse. But then Ace roared into "Shock Me" and I felt better.

The historic concert finally ended in a storm of fireworks as the final power chords of "Rock and Roll All Nite" hung in the air. I made it intact.

Dodging chairs, dodging drunks...that’s rock and roll. And it’s one of the reasons I prefer going to see Christian rock bands these days. But it’s also one of the reasons I’ll be sad to see the wrecking ball taken to Tiger Stadium.

With Yankee lovin' Mets haters, you know what to expect

Usually, Sports Illustrated baseball writer Tom Verducci gets me pig-biting mad for his blind love for all things Yankee that clouds his judgment.

He slips it into his copy in odd little ways. In a story praising Angels prospect Howie Kendrick, Verducci slipped in that Kendrick “could be battling Robinson Cano of the Yankees for All-Star Game starting assignments and batting titles for years to come.” That’s despite the inconvenient fact that Cano has as many batting titles and All-Star Game starts as I do.

And in case you were wondering, I have none.

Then we have his partner in crime, Bob Klapisch. It’s not that Klapisch is necessarily and Yankee lover. It’s that he’s a Mets hater.

Klapisch, it seems, can’t write a grocery list without taking a cheap shot at the Metsies, much less a column or a book.

Bob’s written a bunch of tomes, all of them either ripping the Mets – like “The Worst Team Money Can Buy” – or detailing the on and off-field troubles of former Mets stars Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry.

And for a change of pace, he also writes history books about famous Mets killers, the Atlanta Braves. Then there’s “’98 Champs: The Greatest Season, a Chronicle of the Yankees’ Amazing Journey to the World Championship.”

So now that I’m aware of such things, it’s fun to read their copy to find either the over-the-top Yankee praise or the unnecessary Mets bashing.

It’s like playing a Kiss CD and waiting for them the rhyme “knees” and “please.” You know it’s going to happen. And like Kiss, Klap and the ‘Ducc never disappoint.

Klapisch got loose this week with an article that’s part of an ESPN.com series of hot people and things to look for in 2007. His task was to identify the hot division, and he chose the National League West.

Now I don’t accept his basic premise, and his main reason seems to be that a bunch of over-the-hill pitchers – some of whom are ex-Yankees – have settled there. Whatever.

But you know the Mets slams are going to be there. It’s just a matter of how far Klap will stretch to get it in. And Klap can stretch further than John Olerud snagging an errant throw from short.

Amazingly, we had to wait all the way until the fourth paragraph.

“It's enough to make you think the lure of the East is finally on the decline; (Barry) Zito turned his back on what should've been an layup courtship for the Mets…

While it's true the Giants essentially were bidding against themselves -- one AL general manager called it "madness in a market that'd already gone mad" -- Zito opted for San Francisco's familiarity over, say, New York's energy.

The implication is that the Mets blew it, as they may have done by pulling out of the ARod bidding early and trying to get Vlad Guerrero in the cheap several years ago.

But it should be noted that the Giants blew everyone out of the water with a seven-year, $126 million contract that made him the richest pitcher in history. Some have said the Giants were fools to offer that deal, and Zito would have been a bigger fool to turn it down.

Then, somehow, Klapisch shows restraint by waiting seven whole paragraphs before his next cheap swipe and comes up with this gem:

“The Phillies' acquisition of Freddy Garcia means that no one, meaning the Mets, is likely to run away with the division by June, as was the case in 2006.”

Freddy Garcia? He of the 4.53 ERA last year and the 4.01 ERA for a career? There are many reasons why the Mets might not run away with the division – again – but a middling Phillies pitcher coming over from the American League is not one of them, and certainly not the only one.

So the key is to not get all worked up when you read these guys. Like an Adam Sandler movie, you know what you’re getting into before you start. Sit back and wait for the one laugh.

Don't waste Time on the magazine's top album list -- here's mine instead

Aerosmith's Joe Perry enduring a starstruck reporter's interview, circa 1983.

Time magazine last week rattled off it’s list of the top 100 albums of all time. Whenever magazines launch into something like this, it’s just going to spark debate and show glaring weaknesses into their tastes.

This list looks like it was created by committee, including the obvious — Sgt. Pepper, Zep's untitled masterpiece — and the unworthy — Hole — and some token references to bands sneered at by critics — AC/DC and Black Sabbath — included probably to head off an onslaught of metalheads.

But if I was reading the list correctly, Time put a Hank Williams greatest hits package in the No. 1 slot, and that’s just wrong for so many reasons. For one thing, adding greatest hits issues is just cheating. It’s like naming an all-time team when someone asks which Mets team is your favorite.
So I had to take things into my own hands. Rather than go to all 100, here’s my Top 15 CDs of all time. I have them numbered, but that’s not necessarily a ranking. These are all special to me for one reason or another.

I included one CD per artist to spread the love around a little.

1) Moving Pictures, Rush (1981)

This was essentially the soundtrack for my high school years. I even used lyrics from "Tom Sawyer" in my campaign posters for a run at student government treasurer. I came in second, but ended up serving for half the year -- a long story -- and worked with Alec Baldwin’s sister, who was very nice. This album is darn near perfect right down to the cover, and even has song about the homeland to push it right over the top. Rush’s next bad album would be its first, and several others should probably appear on this list. Best cut you know: "Tom Sawyer." Best cut you don’t know: "Witch Hunt."

2) Underdog, Audio Adrenaline (1999)

All Audio A albums are good, this one is phenomenal. It’s essentially a greatest hits album, with four songs that are a live staples — "Mighty Good Leader," "Underdog," "Get Down" and "Hands and Feet," which I told you last week is a song that has inspired me trough years of church work. Best cut you know: "Hands and Feet." Best cut you don’t know: "Jesus Movement."

3) Our Time in Eden, 10,000 Maniacs (1992)

I accepted a rotating assignment in our Lansing Bureau in the fall of 1992, and chose to commute an hour each way to be with my family rather than live in the company’s apartment above the office. It was a long, bland drive and our car had a radio but not a tape player. So I propped my boom box in the front seat and had plenty of time to study and enjoy "Our Time in Eden." The Maniacs were my favorite band at the time and this is their best effort track for track. Best cut you know: "These Are Days." Best cut you don’t know: "Eden"

4) Thrive, Newsboys (2002)

This CD has been out for nearly four years, and two cuts are in the top 15 on my iPod’s play count. The band works from worship and praise to pop to straight rockers, all of which are excellent. The title cut is moving — "When you lift me up tender care, when you wash me clean with the palms of your hands, Lord hold me close so I can thrive, when you touch me, that’s when I know I’m alive." — but there’s not a lackluster song on the entire disc. Best cut you know: "It Is You." Best cut you don’t know: "Giving it Over."

5) Glass Houses, Billy Joel (1980)


The fact that the Time list doesn’t include a single Billy Joel record makes it immediately suspect. Joel’s a good Long Islander. He’s less of a piano man and more of a rocker on Glass Houses, but it’s a classic. I waited with my friends Jeff and Craig all day at the Nassau Coliseum to get tickets for this tour. Later, were recounting our adventure at a church youth group meeting, and the leader asked if we would spend the same eight hours waiting to get into a church service. We said "Yes," which was the answer they were hoping for. No one believed us, but lightening did not strike. It should have. Best cut you know: "Sometimes a Fantasy." Best cut you don’t know: "Sleeping With the Television On."

6) Alive! Kiss, (1975)

Greatest live rock album. Ever. I was 11 when this bad boy was released and it was one of the first albums I owned, which means I played it endlessly. And since I tended to crank the volume, I’m sure the rest of my family also can recite Paul Stanley’s between song banter from memory. "Awww hey! So let’s rock and roll all NIGHT and party EV-ERY DAY!" These are the definitive versions of the early Kiss classics, louder, harder and faster than the studio tracks. Best cut you know: "Rock and Roll All Nite." Best cut you don’t know: "Cold Gin"

7) Mmhmm, Relient K (2004)

This Christian punk-pop band gets better with each release. Sometimes the message is subtle and sometimes it’s not there at all, but it’s never objectionable. Seven of the songs on Mmhmm are absolute classics and could be heard in places Christian music typically doesn’t get a spin. A follow-up EP intended to compliment Mmhmm wasn’t as balanced, but acoustic versions of "By My Escape" and "Over Thinking" are alone worth the price of admission. Best cut you know: "Be My Escape." Best cut you don’t know: "The One I’m Waiting For."

8) Before These Crowded Streets, Dave Matthews Band (1998)

This CD is like a gift that keeps giving. I was so hooked by three tracks — "Don’t Drink the Water," "Crush" and "Stay" — that I didn’t play a lot of attention to the others. But as DMB started rolling out the live CDs, and there are many, I started liking different songs and traced them back to the studio. Low and behold, they keep coming from Crowded Streets. Matthews is in some ways the anti-Ramone, in that he never says in 3 minutes what he can say in 8. But when the band gets jamming, it’s typically all good. Best song you know: "Crush." Best song you don’t know: "Pig."

9) Loco Live, The Ramones (1991)

I was familiar with some Ramones songs and even saw them in a mismatched bill with the B-52s at Hofstra University, but didn’t pledge allegiance until my buddy Rich brought me to see them at Toads, a club in New Haven, Conn. It was small, crowded and sweaty — the proper environment to see the pride of Forest Hills, Queens. We went back to see them every time they appeared for the next several years. I like the band’s credo: Say it loudly, say it simply and get the heck out of there. The band’s studio albums are excellent, but I like Loco Live because it’s reminds me of those nights at Toads. And only the Ramones can fit 32 cuts on one disc. Best song you know: "Teenage Lobotomy." Best song you don’t know: "My Brain is Hanging Upside Down."

10 ) Under the Blade, Twisted Sister (1982)

The drinking age in New York was 18 when I was growing up, and I couldn’t wait for that milestone birthday. Not because I was a drinker — I was the designated driver even then — but because it meant we could finally get in to Hammerheads to see Twisted Sister. The boys were playing the Long Island bars for years before they finally got signed to a British label. Under the Blade is mostly songs we had been hearing on WBAB and WLIR concert simulcasts for years. I wrote a review of the disc for my college paper, and asked the guys to sign it when they appeared at a local record store. Dee Snider read it and said I was "astute," which sent me on walking on air for a long time. The late-1990s reissue is the one to own because it adds "I’ll Never Grow Up, Now," a single the band released on its own. Best song you know: Unless you’re a former Long Island metal head, you might not know any of these pre-Stay Hungry songs. Best song you don’t know: "What You Don’t Know (Sure Can Hurt You)"

11) Scarecrow, John Mellencamp (1985)

I didn’t fully appreciate Mellencamp until I moved to the Midwest in 1990. My wife grew up in a small Illinois town, and after spending time there I could finally recognize the people and places Mellencamp was signing about. I like that he has a story to tell, and Scarecrow is best at introducing characters that you want to hear more about, be they the family losing the farm in the title track or the wise old passenger on the bus in "Minutes to Memories." Mellencamp’s 2001 Cutting Heads is more autobiographical and is just as strong and woefully underrated. Best song you know: "Lonely Ol’ Night." Best song you don’t know: "Minutes to Memories."

12) Welcome to Diverse City, tobyMac (2004)

Christian rocker-rapper Toby McKeehan makes a dcTalk reunion less likely with each stellar disc. You won’t go wrong with either Momentum or Diverse City. The former is heavier and has more borrowing from older songs, and the later disc is more of a melting pot of styles. "The Slam" was in several promo trailers and television ads for action movies this year, and I wonder if the Hollywood types ever listened to the lyrics. Toby’s guest list is a who’s who Christian musicians from T-Bone to Grits to Superchic(k). We’re bringing the youth group to see the band next weekend, and Toby’s right on target musically and inspirationally. Best song you know: "Gone." Best song you don’t know: "Hey Now."

13) I’ve Got the Rocks n Rolls Again, Joe Perry Project (1981)

The Aerosmith guitarist’s solo career was brief but memorable. My friends and I loved his solo stuff, and we went to see him several times at a little dinner theater in Glen Cove that was trying to convert into a concert venue. Since the newspaper office at Nassau Community College was right next to the Concerts Committee office, the high school friends thought I had something to do with Joe appearing there. I didn’t, but jumped at the chance to interview Joe before the gig. Joe was physically in the room, but seemed to be somewhat self-medicated. OK, a lot self-medicated. But I was so star-struck that my questions probably didn’t make much sense anyway. The fact that Joe was playing Nassau Community College instead of Nassau Coliseum was probably adding to his discontent. That doesn’t take away from this disc, his second as a solo artist. It’s raw and sounds like it was recorded live. Best cut you (might) know: "East Coast, West Coast." Best cut you don’t know: "No Substitute for Arrogance."

14) Coming Up to Breathe, MercyMe (2006)

I’ve been a MercyMe fan since we caught them at Festival con Dios in 2001. If the band has a pattern, it’s that it starts each disc rocking then slows into piano-driven praise songs that I don’t enjoy as much as the rockers. But the band kept the mellow to a minimum and turned up the volume for their latest release, and it’s simply brilliant. "No More, No Less" jumped into the top two on my iPod play count after just a couple months after it was released. And seeing them in concert this year taught me a valuable lesson about singing at the foot of the stage. Best song you know: "So Long, Self." Best song you don’t know: "No More, No Less."

15) The Rising, Bruce Springsteen (2002)

I’m not a huge Springsteen guy by any stretch, but this release struck home with its stories about the suffering, the anger and the hope for resurrection following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. I get choked up listening to it. Other artists, from the Cranberries to dcTalk, have offered outstanding songs about the day or the aftermath. While not all of the songs on The Rising relate directly to the tragedies, most invoke a story or a feeling of people lost on that day. Springsteen nails it. Not bad for a Jersey guy. Best song you know: "The Rising." Best song you don’t know: "Into the Fire."

Honorable mentions: Kutless, Kutless; Strangers in the Night, UFO; Good Monsters, Jars of Clay; Jesus Freak, dcTalk.

There you go! I’d sure like to hear about some of your favorites.