Friday Five takes an artistic turn

I almost didn't get in.

After waiting months for the double-bill of Switchfoot and Anberlin at Calvin College, I walked up to the ticket booth as the student worker was setting things up.

“You've got tickets, right?” I asked. I wasn't worried. Once I attended a concert at Calvin, and it was a gathering of John Reuben and about 50 friends.

“We've got two.”

I smiled.

“No, I'm serious. We have two tickets, and that's only because someone turned them in. Don't move from that spot."

So after purchasing half of the available tickets I enjoyed an awesome concert featuring two of my favorite bands – and met some new friends, too.

Many miles on treadmill and trail have been logged to the sound of Switchfoot's “Hello Hurricane” since it was released in 2009.

Anberlin was a more recent discovery, true to my practice of being about 5 years behind the times musically.

The show was the highlight of an arts-centric Deezo Friday Five.

Switchfoot

Calvin's Hoogeboom Arena was set up with wooden bleachers on the sides and standing room on the floor. I opted for the bleachers near the side because I am too old for the mosh pit.

Lead singer Jon Foreman was interacting with the crowd a lot, leaning over the stage, leaning in to the out-stretched hands. But during “The War Inside” he jumped off the stage and into the crowd and walked along the beachers, then turned and started stepping up – right toward me.

Foreman looked up and extended his hand, then used mine to pull himself up into the row and sang the rest of the song two spaces away. Cool!

Anberlin

Anberlin's sound was pretty muddy until the acoustic songs – including “The Unwinding Cable Car” was a great surprise.

Andrew likes to collect set lists after the show, and we've begged roadies of many groups for the paper, which usually is duct-taped to the stage floor.

But this time I was walking past the sound board and saw the Amberlin set list just sitting there. The guy working behind the board said I could have it. Sweet!



Atomic Tom

It's not easy being the opening act. Usually the best thing people will say is “They didn't suck,” and the biggest applause typically comes after the singer says, “We've got one more song for you.”

But I liked Atomic Tom. Sure, they got points after saying they were from Brooklyn. But their rocking cover of Human League's “Don't You Want Me” was a nice surprise, and the rest of the set was a nice mix of power pop – with the emphasis on power – and straightforward rock.

“Take Me Out” sounded familiar and I liked “The Moment,” the title cut from their CD. I went to meet the band at the merch table after the show, and snagged the last CD they had. Nice guys.

The CD has been steadily playing in the car since the concert, and I found their apparently famous video of “Take Me Out” played and filmed entirely with iPhones on a subway.

“Catching Hell”

I got an email out of the blue last winter from someone who said he was working with a documentary producer and was interested in using two photos he found on the blog.

The post was about Will and I going to see the Mets lose at Wrigley. As will once explained to a Comiskey vendor as I snapped a shot of him preparing my hot dog, “He documents everything.”

And on this particular adventure, we located the seat where infamous Cubs fan Steve Bartman was sitting when he prevented Moises Alou from catching a foul ball in the 2003 playoffs. Or not. It's not really clear whether Bartman actually got a hand on the ball, and the Cubs proceeded to allow 8 runs in the rest of inning, all without Bartman's help.

But this was Chicago and Cub losses are blamed on curses and not incompetence, so Bartman has been forced into exile.

We found the seat, and some goofball was sitting there, preventing others from taking in the view. I documented him.


Then I recreated the Bartman alleged near catch and Will documented that because that, too, is what we do.

The producer wanted to use both of those, and I happily consented.

The documentary aired Tuesday and was called, “Catching Hell,” focusing on the treatment of Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner after the glorious 1986 Mets World Series comeback and Bartman.

And, about 90 minutes into the show, you will see the goofball and me in a montage of fans recreating the moment, which must have been a surprise to the goofball, had he been watching. I get a photo credit, too!


ArtPrize

Grand Rapids is filled with art of all shapes, sizes and quality this week for the third annual ArtPrize competition.

People spend the first two weeks voting thumbs up or down on each pieces, and the ten with the most votes continue into a second round, where the winner gets a nice pile of cash.

As you can imagine, high-brow art people are horrified – horrified – at the kind of stuff that lands in the top 10. It's like when music critics tell us how we should love some artists when we all just want to hear Foreigner.

Confession: I like Foreigner, and I like the stuff that sends the hoity-toity people into a frenzy. This year, artist have figured out the kind of stuff that voters like and have been accused of pandering more than a politician in Iowa a week before the primary.

The arts version of “Hot Blooded” is called “Gerald Ford Goes to ArtPrize,” and kind of looks like a wax museum version of the native son pondering a bronze bust of himself.

The same artist last year created an ultra life-like sculpture of a monk which was praised mightily but did not get a ton of votes. This year's version is in the top 10.

I wanted to vote for it just because A) it is pretty cool, and B) the high brow folks would go ballistic. Alas, with just one vote to cast, there were great negotiations within the family. We voted for “Rusty,” the giant dog made from car scraps and tree stumps.

Maybe a little more "I Want to Know What Love Is" than "Double Vision," but still pretty cool.

Friday Five: Google, Beltran and the Diet 'iCoke' machine make for a San Francisco treat

This week's Deezo Friday Five recalls some of the things I learned while attending an education writers conference in the Bay Area this week.

For instance, I had no idea that there are palm trees in San Fran. After seeing all those Giants fans in parkas at Candlestick Park all those years, I assumed it was a colder place. But here are some more interesting things.

1)Googleplex

We all signed non-disclosure statements so we couldn't reveal top-secret things we might have seen during our time at the sprawling Google headquarters in Mountain View. I'm pretty sure that it involved world domination.

But we did get a tour of some of the wild and crazy things that go on there.

Google employees eat well. There are about 20 cafes on the campus, and employees eat for free. Good stuff, too. Because employees gain “The Google 15” with all the free food, they exercise by riding brightly colored bicycles all over the place.

There's a T. Rex skeleton named Sam, and he is covered in plastic flamingos. Employees play beach volleyball during the day between meals.

There's a sculpture garden with giant heads of people real and imagined.

I saw one person older than 30 and not a single necktie.

I wonder if the Bingplex is as fun.



2)San Francisco International.

The airport was as close to the city as I got, since our activities were all in the southern parts of the region.

Alas, the airport was nowhere near as drama-packed as the magnificent “San Francisco International” television pilot that became one of our favorite “Mystery Science Theater 3000” episodes.

The movie features Pernell Roberts as a smug airport administration who does his job, his way. A typical day at work involves Tab Hunter and some other bad guys kidnapping David Hartman's wife and eluding security chief Clu Gulager. Meanwhile, newspaper columnist Van Johnson is splitting from his wife, depressing his son who somehow manages to wander into a small plane that accidentally takes off.

As all this is going on, Pete from “McGuyver” is having issues with a made-for-TV hippie.

It's all good fun, and it kept a lot of 1970s minor stars off the streets until “Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island” came calling.



3)Stanford University

One of the good things about changing time zones is that you can get up at 5 a.m. and it feels like you are sleeping in.

I decided to ditch the treadmill and take to the streets for my early morning run, especially after discovering that the Standford University campus was nearby.

With Bay Area resident Bruce Hornsby rocking the iPhone, I explored the campus in the pre-dawn darkness. Seemed like a nice place, especially with some of its famous architecture dramatically lit. The Memorial Church's mural is beautifully lit, as is the tower named after alumni Herbert and Lou Hoover.

Now, I don't know what crazy things they're working on at Stanford, but something was wreaking havoc with my iPhone's GPS. The RunKeeper ap kept announcing distances and mile paces that would have me welcomed at the Olympics next year. Apparently I ran 18 miles in 46 minutes, and was running 2 minute miles at one point.



4)New-fangled Diet Coke machine.

There is a possibility that I drink too much Diet Coke. I know this. But if you ever want to know the location of the Diet Coke vending machine in your building, or any other, I'm your man.

I was roaming around downtown Palo Alto looking for the Giants Dugout store and wanted something small to eat to tide me over. I found a pizza by the slice place, and thought it would to the job.

Turning to fill up my cup, I encountered a crazy new Coke delivery system. It looked like it was part iPad, with a touch screen boasting it could create 106 kinds of soda. I was surprised. There are other kinds of soda?

I tapped the DC logo on the screen, and the graphic switched to all Diet Coke and then the refreshing beverage started flowing freely.

Pretty cool. Oh, and there is a reason the Bay Area is not known for its pizza.



5) Carlos Beltran, Giant

I did find the Giants Dugout store, and obtained this week's Cap of the Week, a black-and-orange, soft-crowned beauty.

There was plenty of World Series gear, though those caps were more expensive. Some Grateful Dead and Brian Wilson stuff, but I had my fill of weirdness after the Googleplex.

I was pleasantly surprised to see t-shirts for our mid-season gift to the team, Carlos Beltran. Nice to see that Beltran is appreciated in his new surroundings, even if he apparently couldn't lead the team to the playoffs.

We shall remember Carlos fondly when we see Zach Wheeler shirts at Citi Field before too long!

Friday Five: Stan Musial and other heroes

Remembering heroes

I didn't expect to be so moved by the West Michigan Healing Field. Volunteers filled the Cannonsburg ski area with 3,000 American flags, each with a brief biography of a Sept. 11, 2001 victim. People working in the Pentagon; people at their desk in a World Trade Center office. People heading home or on a vacation. A woman remembered by colleagues for keeping a candy jar on her desk filled. Firefighters and police officers. The heroes of Flight 93. Children. I wanted to read them all.

Katy Perry

Caroline and I were supposed to see Katy Perry on Sunday night, but the singer has a respiratory infection and the concert has been postponed until December. This gives me more time to rewrite some of Katy's lyrics so they are more “Daddy friendly.” For example, Katy, in “Teenage Dream,” sings: “Let's go all the way tonight; no regrets, just love.” I don't think that's an appropriate sentiment. So, when Caroline commands the iPod in the car, I sing the new, Daddy-approved lyrics: “Let's go on a date tonight, no regrets, just lunch.” Much more wholesome. For Katy's biggest hit, I imagine her getting in touch with the outdoors. Instead of “I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it.” No wonder Elmo blushed. I envision Ms. Perry in a park, feeding the other furry forest friends: “I kissed a squirrel and I liked it, I hope Ranger Rick don't mind it.” I think Caroline is hoping there is a special seating section where fathers of 14-year-olds can be herded in together and not publicly embarrass their daughters.

Chatty Famous Chicken

We enjoyed seeing The Famous Chicken at the West Michigan Whitecaps game during Labor Day weekend. Big parts of his act haven't changed in the 20 years since I first watched him, but he's always funny. Caroline, who has worked as Katie L, the Kent District Library mascot, was a little bit concerned that the Chicken violated the first rule of mascoting – he talks!

Flat Stan the Man

Give the St. Louis Cardinals credit for doing cool things. You must have heard of “Flat Stanley,” Dale Hubert's book character who gets flattened and goes on adventures. Teachers across the country have used the book for lessons, assigning children to send their Stanley to friends and family and take photos of him is locales near and far. Caroline's Flat Stanley got to visit off-limits sections of the Kennedy Space Center and military headquarters in Afghanistan, where he posed with – and was signed by – then-Sen. Hillary Clinton. The Cardinals created a Flat Stan Musial, complete with his Presidential Medal of Freedom! People are encouraged to post their photos on the team's web site. Tony is sending me one, and we're going on a tour of Grand Rapids!


Cap of the Week

This week's Cap of the Week is a gift from my nephew Zachary. He pitches for the Deer Park-Mackinaw traveling team in Illinois, and tossed a no-hitter this season. The local minor league team, the Cornbelters, were so impressed that the team signed a ball for him and he was allowed to sit in the dugout. So, my nephew has pitched more no-hitters than the Mets have. The cap also has Uncle Dave's initials, which is cool!

Friday Five: Pat Benatar and other music of the universe

Settling in for a very busy Labor Day weekend that includes the Famous Chicken – and a very special holiday Deezo Friday Five.


Mystery animal cap

My favorite cap this summer came from a store in Traverse City called Cherry Republic. If you do the Michigan-as-a-hand thing, Traverse City is at the tip of our pinky. It's known for magnificent beaches and sunsets, angst-filled newspaper softball tournaments and growing cherries. The Cherry Republic sells cherries in just about every form imaginable, including salsa and peanut butter. Lots of samples. The cap is one of those rare magical caps that just feels perfect. It's made by a company called Attitude 101. But we've had big debates about the animal in the logo. I think it's supposed to be a bear, based on other things I saw in the store. But other people think it looks like a dog, a pig, Big Foot or Lucas Duda. I like that the mystery animal is looking over his shoulder with a bit of an attitude. Very New York for a laid back place like Traverse City. This might kick off a cool cap of the week feature.

Pat Benatar

Pat Benatar says I rock! Pat was in town for a concert and came to the local Barnes & Noble to sign copies of her book, “Between a Heart and a Rock Place.” There about 200 people in line, and about 190 them were guys between the ages of 45 and 55. Pat and I discussed Long Island, and the Lindenhurst native said she was back home recently for a big family barbecue. “The Island's still a good place,” she said. I'm assuming she's a Mets fan because she was nice, though I could not find references to the team in the book.
Words With Friends

My sister got me hooked on the game, and it's one more reason I suffer from separation anxiety when I misplace the iPhone. My winning percentage was only slightly better than that of the 1962 Mets. But now I've discovered the joys of triple word score tiles, I'm a little better, like the 1978 Mets, but without the embarrassment of “Mettle.” Look for me as MetsGuy if you want to play.


Mets blue jerseys

The team wore the blue Los Mets jerseys again this week, and reports are the magnificent tops are returning for special games next year less the Los. Too bad fans haven't been clamoring for uniforms like these for years. Oh, wait.


“The Music of the Universe”

“Chuck” is the latest morning diversion as I put in the daily treadmill mileage, and I'm part of the way through the second season. One episode revolves around an old Missile Command arcade game, and the creator of the game explains it must be played to “the music of the universe.” Chuck, playing under pressure to save the world, realizes that the game creator meant that the game can be conquered when played to the rhythms of “Tom Sawyer.” There's truth to this. The epic was voted the No. 1 song to play games to by the Nintendo Power magazine. Note to the people running the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: Some people give Rush the respect it deserves.

Shamwow, walking tacos and other things Rickey might like

Absolutely crazy week, which explains why we’re getting the special Deezo Pre-Inauguration Friday, er, Monday Five.

1) Apparently I make a mean "walking taco." Rachael Ray would be so proud.

As the father of a high school athlete, I am assigned assorted duties, among them working in the concession stand during meets.

We sell a steady stream of popcorn, candy, popcorn, soggy bun hot dogs, popcorn, warm pizza slices, more popcorn and walking tacos, which I believe are a Michigan thing.

Basically, you take snack-sized back of Fritos, carefully open the top and spoon in taco meat, cheese, and a little bit of sour cream. Hand the kids a fork and a napkin, and off they go.

Only I decided to shake this up a little bit, adding cheese first, then the taco meat, then a lot more cheese before a generous spoonful of sour cream. This allows some of the cheese to melt over the Fritos.

I didn’t think this was too revolutionary, but one of the other parents was impressed and declared I make the best walking taco.

Sports parents, I learned, are very competitive, because one of the other parents overhead this and wanted to know why my walking tacos earned such a distinction.

Thinking this was a joke, I held up one of her earlier attempts, where she accidentally split the Frito bag, making it un-walkable.

This, however, was not deemed funny.

The rest of the shift was spent rushing over to the crock pot with the taco meat as soon as the order was placed, me defending my title and the other parent trying to top me like the Phillies in the last week in the last two seasons.

Unlike the Mets, I prevailed.



2) From the Department of Things I Really Shouldn’t Care About, But Do anyway, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced it class of 2009: Metallica, Run-DMC, Jeff Beck, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials.

So, in review, the guys who sang "Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko Bop" about 50 years ago are enshrined, while the guys who sang, "Sultans of Swing" are not.

Bobby Womack, in. Rush, not.

It’s a rock and roll hall, right?

Will knows I vent about this each year and had a response ready when the news came down on Wednesday.

"I’ve decided to refuse to care about the RNRHOF until the following are inducted (all of them): Rush, Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Chicago, Kiss, Yes, ELO, Robert Plant, Pete Townshend, Dire Straits and ABBA. And I hated ABBA, but if you're going to include Madonna, then ABBA totally belongs."

Spot-on, as always, except that I like ABBA.

Meanwhile, we can all sit back and wait for that induction ceremony when the guys from Metallica jam with Little Anthony.



3) The Baseball Hall of Fame did a little better, adding another former Mets to its ranks, along with Jim Rice, who we spanked handily in the 1986 World Series.

Sadly, the Veteran’s Committee elected another dead Yankee. Joe Gordon died in 1978 and has not played since 1950 — pre-dating even Little Anthony!

Can someone explain to me how a guy can be not Hall-worthy for 47 years and suddenly earn a place beside Tom Seaver, Willie Mays, Richie Ashburn, Duke Snider, Warren Spahn and other Mets of note in year No. 48?



4) Grand Rapids has become a large enough city that two guys can show up at an outdoor event dressed as Scooby Doo and Under Dog and attract hardly any attention.

This was New Year’s Eve, and Grand Rapids was dropping a lighted ball, like in Times Square.

The difference was that our ball was dropped by a crane instead of down a flag pole atop a building and the people in attendance were actual area residents who went home with their wallets instead of the tourists who flood the homeland hoping to appear briefly on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

But ignoring a couple guys dressed like dogs was a very New York thing to do. I was impressed.



5) I’m strangely fascinated by the guy in the Shamwow commercials.

Clearly he’s a freak. The hair, the headset microphone, the ‘tude and the fact that he almost makes me believe that a yellow rag can soak up a Diet Coke spill and arrange a cease fire in the Gaza Strip. His delivery reminds me of a three-card monte dealer.

Did some research and it turns out Shammie’s name is Vince Offer and he wrote and directed the 1999 film "The Underground Comedy Movie" that a New York Post review gave zero stars, said it "may be the least amusing comedy ever made."

Ouch. But that explains why Vice is hawking miracle rags.

Proper bagels and Dee Snider could lure Lowe

My brother and parents are back on Long Island for a sad occasion this weekend. But it’s nice to know they were thinking of me. And their thoughfulness is appreciated in this week’s Deezo Friday Five.

1) Apparently they came across a bagel store right next to a post office, and had the idea to fill up a box of glorious poppy seed bagels and overnight it to Michigan.

As you know, Michigan bagels, even from stores that have a New York theme, are no match for an authentic slice of the homeland.

Eating a Michigan bagel is a bittersweet experience. It’s better than, say, some cinnamon roll or McGriddle as a breakfast treat. But you know how it’s supposed to be, and that there are people in New York at that very moment eating a proper New York bagel, some of them Yankee fans who don’t deserve them.

So I can assure you that no mail carrier has ever seen someone happier to meet them at the door.

There were 16 of those beauties, and it was down to 15 within moments.

I thought briefly about taking one of them to the two places I usually get bagels from, to inspire them and show them exactly what they should be baking.

I also thought about bringing some to the newsroom so my colleagues can understand why I turn up my nose at their inferior breakfast edibles.

But that would require sharing, and I’m just not ready to do that.

Later in the day, my daughter asked if she could have one. Now she knows how much I love her. Down to 14.



2) Apparently Braves are making a run at would-be Mets hurler Derek Lowe, and made a pretty elaborate pitch for his services this week.

According to David O’Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Braves pitched woo to Lowe for five hours, complete with a video presentation and a recorded message from country music artist Toby Keith.

Toby Keith? Is that the best they can do?

Think of the kind of talent the Mets could tap if they wanted to go down this road.

After serving Derek poppy seed bagels, Long Islander Dee Snider could burst into the room and — like in the video — scream, “Derek Lowe! What are you going to do with your life?”

To which Derek can only reply: “I WANNA ROCK! See you in St. Lucie next month.”

Soupcan at the Crane Pool Forum was alble to take off the Citi logo atop this alternate logo -- for items sold at the stadium -- that would have made a much better patch.

3) The Mets’ new Citi Field patch has now been mocked by just about everyone. And with good reason.

But I hate it even more now that I know the team actually has a decent City Field logo, but it’s using it only on merchandise sold at the ballpark next season.

The logo shows the famed Jackie Robinson Rotunda, as it should. It also has the Citi Bank logo, which is a no-no for Major League uniforms. But you’d think it could easily be replaced with the Mets wordmark or outright eliminated for a patch.


As if times aren’t tough enough for the Bush family. The family cat of 18 years died recently.

The black American shorthair was named “India” by the Bush daughters, after near-Met Ruben Sierra, going back to the days when the President ran the Texas Rangers instead of the country.

I had no idea Sierra’s nickname was “El Indio.” Nor can I figure out why.

The Houston Chronicle reported that in 2004, some students in Thiruvananthapuram, India, burned an effigy of President Bush because they declared that naming his cat India was an insult to their country.

I’d be more upset that Ruben Sierra was named after their country.

But those kids are probably in a suspended state of crankiness because they have to fit “Thiruvananthapuram” across the front of their road jerseys.

As the owner of a black shorthair named after a baseball player -- "Tug" -- I feel a close bond to the Bush family and offer my sincere condolences.




5) OK, say you were a big free agent preparing for your coming out press conference.

You know someone is going to hand you a cap and a jersey, because they always do. It the case of Mark Teixeira here, an extremely ugly one.

And you know that as soon as you put it on, you’re going to pose for photos. And is there anything that looks dopier than a guy wearing a jersey with a tie and dress shirt sleeves showing?

Since you know those things are going to happen, wouldn’t it better to wear a mock turtleneck under a sports jacket, hopefully one that matches the team colors?

Searching for Seaver and Starbucks

I hope this new year finds you happy and healthy. We celebrated by heading to downtown Grand Rapids to see the Plain White T’s play outside in sub-20-degree weather and had a blast.

We came back in time for cheese fondue, a warm fire and watching the balls — plural, one in Grand Rapids and the other in Times Square — drop on television.

The waning days 2008 also required some searching, as you’ll see in the first Deezo Friday Five of 2009.

1) I was searching for a shirt to help my sister celebrate her Tom Seaver birthday and came across this slice of glory.

I’ve never seen a Tom Seaver shirt like this, and promptly declared it to be the Greatest Shirt Ever.

The photo was from an eBay listing, and the shirt is a medium, which wouldn’t even fit my son anymore. So I searched and searched online to find a store or site selling it.

None. The only place it would show up was that same eBay posting.

Greg suggested I contact the vendor to see if he has more, or if he could tell me where he got the shirt. Again, a strike out, as the vendor said he had only the medium and didn’t know where got that one.

His listing said the shirt was produced by Majestic, and I scanned the company’s web store, but didn’t see the shirt. Then I fired off an e-mail to the customer service department complete with an attachment showing the design. No word back yet.

So, if anybody has seen this design and knows where I can find one of these beauties, please let me know.

While searching, I came across this orange Seaver shirt that also is really cool, though doesn’t have the retro look of the other design.



2) Speaking of things that are hard to find. Mrs. Mets Guy is a knitter and fell in love with Starbucks’ Christmas decorations, which included shiny red balls with green balls of yarn used to make wreaths.

We’re in Starbucks enough that I know far too much about the baristas and baristos — is that what you call a guy who works there? — and one day I mentioned her appreciation of the wreaths and asked if I could buy one after the holidays.

The manager said he’d be happy to save one for me. And the day after Christmas I was in there and noticed that the wreaths were down, and assumed the manager had one in the back waiting for my all-to-frequent arrival.

Alas, he said he was confronted by a customer as soon as he opened the doors, and she was very insistent. I think he forgot.

But it’s not like there’s only one Starbucks in the area, or even on that street.

So Monday I went to another, noticed the wreath was still there and inquired. The manager said there were a number of people interested, and she made a rule that they would go to the first person who asked for them on New Year’s Day. And they opened at 7 a.m.

So I set the alarm for 6:15 a.m. despite watching the ball drop and staying up late the night before, and was in the Starbucks parking lot by 6:45 sharp.

I jumped out of the car as soon as the manager turned the key. And she said she doesn’t know what happened, but the wreaths were gone. But I was welcome to a free coffee as a token of apology and some of the other decorations.

I walked out disappointed, but with a tall caramel frappuccino and some other ball and yarn decorations.

Then I realized that there were still more Starbucks, and went across town to another, and saw that not only was a wreath in the window, but there were three in the store!

“About the wreaths,” I asked.

“Stop,” the barista said, cutting me off. “They’re already claimed.”

I predict that next year, Starbucks will come up with a scrapbooking motif to continue tapping into the lucrative craft and latte market.



3) Johan Santana can kick Derek F. Jeter’s butt in baseball bocce.

I know this because I got an awesome Wii baseball game for Christmas — MLB Superstars — that has real players and mascots doing everything but play baseball.

Santana, David Wright and Jose Reyes are among the guys playing bocce on a baseball diamond, dodging gophers and lawnmowers.

They also shoot snacks into the stands using those hot dog-shaped guns mascots use. Mr. Met, in fact, is seen roaming through multiple games, sometimes causing trouble, like when he kicks the ball around in baseball golf.

Some of the gaming sites are wailing on the game. They don’t get it.

There are plenty of games where you can play baseball. But most of us obsessive types notice that the sport bleeds into all the other things we do.

If I’m going to play golf — and you can create your own person in the game — of course I’d rather play it with David, Jose and Johan, and I’d rather play it by hitting the ball with a bat and it would be great fun for all of us to gang up on Derek F. Jeter.



4) My in-laws have a suicidal mailbox.

Or, I should say they had a suicidal mailbox.

We visited last weekend, surviving a challenging, five-hour trek through some of the densest fog ever. We pulled up and debated whether we passed the house, backed up a little and felt a big THUD.

Turns out the mailbox somehow hurled itself into the path of my Vue. It’s not like I could have possibly backed up the driveway and into it. Can’t be my fault.

But we went to Lowe’s the next day and happily picked out a new one -- the Mail Master -- and installed it.

I say happily because this could have been worse in two ways.

First, the wooden pole that goes into the ground and supports the box could have broken, which means we’d have to somehow dig out the old one and get cement to set in the rain-soaked ground. No telling if that would have worked, or how long it would have taken.

Then, it could have been the neighbor’s box. If you think it’s hard to explain to a relative how you ran over their mailbox, image doing it to a stranger without them calling the police.



5) Tuned to the MLB Network debut Thursday night.

Have to say there was much fear when the first thing they do is show an old Yankee game, then roll out Phillie big mouth/shortstop Jimmy Rollins for the “Hot Stove” show.

But, despite Rollins, the show was pretty neat. And next week they’re showing the Ken Burns Baseball epic.

That first aired in 1994, the year of the strike. I was covering the All-Star Game FanFest and was invited to a media breakfast to talk about the documentary.

We were seated at round tables, most with a retired player. I was at a table with former Brooklyn Dodger Joe Black and several people who had no business getting a press pass and, based on their indifference, had never heard of Joe Black.

I knew he was the 1952 Rookie of the Year, and had spent eight years in the Negro Leagues before getting a crack at the majors. I think I impressed him when I correctly pronounced the name of his team, the Elite Giants, which sounds like e-LIGHT Giants.

“I think you’re the first white guy to pronounce that the right way,” he said with a smile. He then patiently allowed me to pick his brain, and I listened to all kinds of neat stories about the Jackie Robinson and playing in Brooklyn.

A person who I believed to be a former player walked around the room with a beaming smile, shaking every hand and introducing himself. I had never heard of Buck O’Neil until then.

Of course, by the time Burns’ masterpiece was finished, O’Neil had become baseball’s newest ambassador and a national treasure.

The perfect tree for the perfect day

We had a wonderful Christmas, opening presents, enjoying family time, listening to music and, with the help of Rachael Ray, cooking a glorious turkey.

It’s been a pretty eventful holiday season so far, not even counting the arrival of the K-Rod and JJ in the Mets bullpen. So we present a special Deezo Christmas Friday Five.

1) We cut down our own Christmas tree every year. Usually this involves the kids and me marching through acres of snowy fields until we can mutually agree on one. That can take hours, especially since we go pretty late in the month and most of the best ones have been turned to stumps.

But this year we walked to the section of Korean firs -- our new favorites – and I saw it. Rising above the rest of the trees like a church steeple was a perfect cross, formed by the branches at the very top. It was beautiful and it was perfect.

We have a wonderful Waterford crystal tree-topper, but this year it’s staying in the box. I decided nature created something better.

2) One tree that’s always perfect is the one in the Baseball Room. Long ago my wife bought me an artificial tree for the basement, the first step in banishing all my baseball ornaments and others she didn’t like from the main family tree.

I have a punch of generic baseball decorations including most of the non-Yankee Hallmark offerings.

It’s tough to get Mets ornaments, but through the magic of the Internet and generosity of relatives – two from my sister this year! – I’ve been able cover the tree.

But this was the first year I could limit the tree to the Mets and New York designs, with just a few others that are just too special to leave in the box.

3) My wife found a neat story about the WPIX Yule Log.

I had no idea there was such a wild history behind the thing. I thought they just set a camera in front of a log each year and called it good.

Here are some cool Yule Log facts from the official Yule Log Web site.

-- The original was filmed in 1966 in black and white at Gracie Mansion, the home of New York’s mayor.
-- The crew removed the protective gate to get a better shot, and a stray spark damaged a $4,000 antique rug.
-- The show was a 17-second loop that ran for several hours.
-- When WPIX wanted to reshoot it in color in 1970, the mayor wouldn’t allow it after the rug incident. So the producers found a mansion in California with a similar fireplace and shot it on a sweltering August afternoon.
-- The second version is a six-minute loop.
-- The station stopped showing it in 1990, with much protesting from the devoted. The station brought it back in 2001, thinking that New Yorkers would want the video version of comfort food after the terrorist attacks.

After reading all this, I was excited to see that WGN was showing a Yule Log on Christmas Eve. Alas, it wasn’t THE Yule Log, but just cheesy gas fireplace. So we changed the channel and turned on our own gas fireplace.

4) We have a new household catchphrase. You have to know that I like battery operated, singing and dancing Christmas decorations. We have a couple that I think are pretty cool, but I might be alone in thinking that.
One of my favorites is a moose with bells on his antlers that shake when he sings “Sleigh Ride.”

The 16-year-old likes to sleep, and doesn’t like the moose, so it’s become the preferred method of waking him up.
Nevertheless, one of my co-workers was alarmed when she overheard me talking to my daughter on the phone, saying “At 10:30, go moose your brother.”

5) We also have new family lore. Church can be dangerous. My son, probably still groggy from his moosing, was an usher at the 8 p.m. Christmas Eve service, so we were there early.

There were wooden poles attached to the end of every third pew, holding a candlestick and a glass cover similar to the glass in the photo. Usually, they’re attached with a thick band in the middle and another at the base. But this year, for some reason, they were attached only at the middle.

We sat in the pew, and I don’t know how it happened, but as soon as I sat down I saw the white pole in the corner of my eye and heard a thunderous crash that echoed throughout the sanctuary, which had only handful of families at the time – several of them with children now shrieking.

Just so you know, there is no way to pass this off on someone else when there isn’t another person sitting within five pews. Also, relatives and friends will quickly disown you.

Someone found the broom and dust pan, and I will say that the debris field was pretty impressive. We were finding glass about four pews away.

The most embarrassing part: After church a friend who came in later was discussing the service and said, “I head some little kid knocked over one of the candles and broke the glass.”

“A big kid, actually,” was the only way to respond.

From the Mets Guy family to you and yours, we wish you a wonderous and joyous holiday season.

The Mets can make any Christmas tree special

As you know, I have a lot of rules. Naturally this extends to the Christmas season.

I’m a hardcore Christmas decorator, which means that I don’t believe in setting up our tree and festive displays until the weekend closest to Dec. 15. If they’re up too long, then they don’t seem special any more.

My wife feared that baseball ornaments were taking over the family tree — as if that were a bad thing — so years ago she surprised me with a small artificial evergreen to place in the baseball room and display all of the holiday tributes to the Mets and the homeland.

Some of them shall be the focus of a special Deezo Friday Five.


1) Forever Collectibles has become the main producer of player ornaments, and the company really ramped up its offerings this year.

After giving us just a Jose Reyes figure a year ago, Forever gifted us with three Mets: Johan Santana, Reyes and David Wright. These were on sale and I pounced!

If only there was a company making these kinds of things in the glorious 1970s, when we could have had Tom Seaver, Jerry Grote and Lee Mazzilli making the Christmas season special.


2) Then we have this “Team Celebration” ornament. Getting three Mets to dangle from one string is an impressive feat, but I recognize that I looks a little goofy.

The ornament has Wright, Reyes and Beltran, and I know this only because of the painted numbers and names. No actual likenesses are included.


3) I found an updated version of this cool Shea Stadium ornament that has the sweet final season logo instead of the team logo.

I discovered it online in the fall, only to have the dealer later e-mail and say he wasn’t supposed to sell it until closer to Christmas and wouldn’t be mailing it until then. And I waited and waited, with each passing day figuring that the ornament didn’t actually exist and I was being scammed, probably by a Grinchy Yankee fan who takes delight in sucking the joy from Mets fans in this most festive season.

But it arrived on Wednesday and I felt much better.

4) I’ll put just about any Mets ornament on the tree, but I finally drew the line.

What the heck is this supposed to be? It looks like the severed head of a player mounted on a ball. At least he’s happy about it.

We can’t see a number or name, so I think it’s a generic player. Kind of looks like Luis Castillo, though.

5) I do not want to see any Met produced in a Hallmark ornament for the simple reason that any player who finds himself hanging on a rack in Hallmark is immediately cursed.

Don’t believe me? Look back at the list of players depicted (poorly, but that’s another story) and you’ll find an assortment of injured, traded and allegedly juiced ballplayers.

This year, for reasons I can not comprehend, Hallmark selected Nomar Garciaparra of the Dodgers, who this year appeared in only 55 games and hit .264. Why? Because he was cursed.

Hallmark has not responded to any of the 759 e-mails I sent requesting Derek F. Jeter be selected for an ornament next year.

Macy's, Marley and the rest of the Friday Five

To me, it’s not officially Thanksgiving until I catch at least a part of the Macy’s Parade on television. Like the parade kicks off the holiday season, it’s also going to kick off this week’s Deezo Friday Five.

1) Some people think that’s odd, but there are some parts of my New Yorkedness that I’m just not willing to give up. And that means the Macy's Parade is playing in the background while I start working on the turkey! An added highlight is some of the worst lip-synching ever in the firs hour, when all the performers do their thing in Herald Square. When we took the kids to New York in 2003, we could see that section of painted street from the observation deck of the Empire State Building. I have a cool musical snow globe with the skyline circled by the balloons. Check out this shot from 1979 with the UnderDog balloon.


2) I’ve been getting ready for our glorious reunion cruise by listening to music of the Caribbean. I’ve tried getting into Bob Marley. After checking out a bunch of his stuff from the library, I decided that I’m not much of a reggae guy but “One Love/People Get Ready” is simply beautiful. Son Ziggy’s “Tomorrow People” is a great song, too.


3) The reggae isn’t quite connecting, but I’m all about the steel drums. I find them relentlessly happy! Seriously, can you imagine a sad song played on a steel drum? It does seem to spark anger in some family members who think I've been playing too much of the drums this week.


4) Our ship, Freedom of the Seas, has a monstrous climbing wall. I’m throwing down the extended family challenge to get to the top. Sure, last time it took me three tries. But now I have experience and know the secrets – don’t look up, don’t look down, use plenty of powder – I’m going to be ringing the bell on the first try.

5) We had our first snow here in Michigan, which is not good. But it’s nice to see grass finally down at Citi Field, which means that Opening Day is at least on the distant horizon. Though not the kind of grass Marley was into. Tom Kaminski of Chopper 880 at WCBS radio took this neat shot, and he a bunch of others that include both Citi and what’s left of Shea, which is bittersweet. It’s sad to see Shea looking as it does, but I have to say the Citi is looking beautiful