Counting our many blessings -- and the turkeys, too

I just finished preparing the mashed sweet potatoes and the steps that will lead to my turkey’s stuffing, events that can only signify that my favorite holiday is approaching.

I love Thanksgiving because I have so much to be thankful for, and I appreciate them all. I’m blessed, and I realize it.

So let’s launch into the annual list of all that is good – and the accounting of the turkeys who try to spoil all the fun.

I’m thankful that I have a job that I love. One and a half, actually. I don’t take this lightly, because Michigan is hurting bad. It’s been a rough year in my state and in my profession. We’re hanging on, and don’t think there isn’t a day when I don’t thank the Lord for this blessing. And I’m glad that I can continue my adjunct teaching job in the spring semester. Working with such wonderful students tells me there are still talented young people who are dedicated to journalism and have hope for the future.

Turkey! Hallmark. People mocked in the past when I bemoaned the Hallmark Christmas Ornament Curse. But I was distraught when I learned that Johan Santana was this year’s decoration. Of course, he had season-ending surgery just after the ornament was released. And he took most of the team with him, leaving us with an especially dreary season.

I’m thankful that I was able to see our beloved Mets three times this season, twice in the spring and on Aug. 5 in our Citi Field debut. And amazingly – considering my past -- the Mets won all three. The 9-0 destruction of the Cardinals in August was viewed from spectacular seats provided by my parents – awesome – and was marred only by Jon Neise being carried off the field to join the DL party. But my son was able to see his first Mets game in New York, and I got all weepy seeing my glorious FanWalk brick, provided by Cousin Tim, who was there to join the celebration. And we all caught up with blogging buddy Greg Prince at the game, too. It was a very, very good day.

Turkeys! The ESPN Sunday Night Baseball crew of Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. Look, I like Miller, one of the best voices in the game. But Morgan is killing me, and he’s an anchor around Miller. When Morgan is not reminding us that he “played the game,” he’s praising Derek F. Jeter. Jeter doesn’t even have to be playing at the time. But it’s darn near embarrassing when he is. How many times have you heard this scenario: A weak, routine five-bouncer to short, which Jeter gets only because it’s hit right at him, then promptly throws to first base, bouncing twice along the way. “Look at Jeter get to that ball,” Morgan will exclaim. “He makes that play look easy. Derek just brings that something special every time he steps on the field. He makes everyone around him better. I know how players do that, because I played the game.” Gag.

I’m thankful for my iPhone, which is very close to surpassing my iPod as the greatest device ever. It is life-altering. The apps are incredible for both work and home. I’m especially thankful for the “Lose it” app. All I’m saying is that I installed it on July 7 and now I’m 50 pounds lighter. Really. And there’s the app that tracks how far and fast I can run, with the pause button so I can flick over to the maps app so I can get unlost while running in Texas and find my way back to Aunt Darlene’s house. Yes, this happened.

I’m thankful for lax security in the Astrodome and tour guides who don’t mind giving individual tours of Minute Maid Park. That trip to Texas offered all kinds of adventures.

I’m thankful that the Baseball Hall of Fame is taking the task of adding executives and pioneers more seriously by adding a keen and brilliant mind to the selection committee. That would be Tom Seaver, who is being lured from the vineyards next week to make sure these knuckleheads don’t mess things up again.

Turkeys! Sadly, the Hall still managed to goof things up. The committee to consider managers and umpires includes Tom Verducci, the infamous Yankee hack who actually declared that cyborg/reliever Mariano Rivera should start the 2008 All-Star Game so applause could fall on him like soft rain. I almost gagged on the turkey just typing that again. But seriously, this is a bad idea. Is there any doubt that “The Duce” will start the meeting by protesting that there are non-Yankees on the ballot? Do we not believe that Verducci will, with a straight face, make a case that Billy Martin should have a spot in Cooperstown, then try to slip in Ralph Houk and Joe Girardi and goodness knows how many once and future Yankee managers into the Hall? Then he'll move along to Yankee coaches and bullpen catchers and the grounds crew and Derek F. Jeter's parents for their role in making the world a better place. I, for one, hope that they don’t put Verducci in charge of counting the ballots.

I’m thankful that the Mets are not totally screwing up the new uniforms all the way. We love the team. You know that. But sometimes it makes questionable decisions when it comes to tinkering with the astonishingly great uniforms the Mets were blessed with. This week the team announced it would feature cream-colored pinstripes intended to honor the 1969 champs. I’m down with that, even though the typical Mets pinstripes are the best uniforms in baseball. But for reasons I can not figure out, they are leaving the black drop shadow on there. Help me figure this out. If you are going to recreate a uniform from 1969, why exactly are you keeping the feature from the past decade? We know the Mets. The team makes progress in increments. That’s why we’re getting a Mets Hall of Fame a year after the ballpark opens. As long as we’re headed in the right direction, it’s all good.

I'm thankful that I was allowed to coach the greatest church coed softball team ever. One a communication-forced forfeit prevented us from smashing through the playoffs. We settled for the consolation championship -- excellent -- and lots of wonderful fellowship. And now I can start planning and plotting for next year.

I'm thankful that I was able to hear Audio Adrenaline's Mark Stuart and Will McGinnis one more time. One of my favorite bands, Audio A called it quits a couple years ago when Stuart started losing his voice. Now he and Will tour as Audio Unplugged, and share their stories as they play a few songs, which is easier on Mark's voice. I had the chance to meet them after a recent concert, and share how much their music inspired me, especially when I was looking for ways to connect with the middle school youth groups. They probably hear that kind of thing all the time, but maybe not. I didn't want the opportunity to say "thank you" slip by.

I hope this holiday finds you happy and healthy and in appreciation of the blessings the Lord has given us. Even in the toughest of years on and off the field, may we never forget what is special about our lives, and the people we get to share them with.

Observations and adventures from Citi Field

The Citi Field punch list helped us explore the Mets' new home, but Dad, Tim, Andrew and I had all kinds of adventures checking out the ballpark from top to bottom, inside and out.

Here are some of the rest of the things we experienced on Aug. 5, when the Mets smacked around the Cardinals.

There's a chance I really, really like my brick!



Our seats granted us access to the Acela Club, which was pretty darn fancy and with a nice view of the field. We didn't eat there, what with all the knishes and other fine New York dining opportunities inside the park.

But Dad and Tim checked out the bar and were glad that they were able to serve iced tea. I'm not sure they were actually drinking iced tea, but I was pestering the hostess for information about where the Dwight Gooden wall signature was being displayed.

Three employees all tried to help me find someone who knew, even giving me a phone number of someone in the stadium who would know such things. Sadly, this is where I discovered the iPhone was having reception issues.

But this attention also furthered our theory that the real Mets employees were replaced by pod people.



Lots of issues with the trash cans. The top one is nice, but what's with the Y tucking behind the N like that? I've never noticed the cap logo doing that. You have to wonder if someone signed off on that and didn't think it was a big deal, or that people would care. Clearly, we do.
Now, I thought this one was really cool. You have the batting helmet -- blue version, even! -- but my Mom took a look at the photo and asked, "Why did they put a helmet atop a toilet seat?"

We traditionally don menacing Mets tats prior to the game because we are most dangerous people. Andrew, of course, tatted up, too.

Sadly, I forgot I was wearing mine when we went to Coney Island after the game. While on line at Nathan's a guy walked up and said, "So, you go to the game today?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"Cus you got Mr. Met on your face."

Luckily, at Coney Island, a strange facial tattoo didn't make me stand out from too many other people wandering around the boardwalk.

I was ready to annoint Daniel Murphy as my new favorite Met after watching how hard he worked during spring training. I know the season's been a disappointment, well, for everyone. But I'm hoping Murph will pick build on this year and pick it up next season.

My Dad snapped this great shot of David Wright moments before he launched his home run.

Alas, it wasn't long before we saw poor Jon Neise crumple to the ground and get helped off the mound. You can see Jerry in the background calling for Nelson Figueroa.

Albert Pujols congratulates Jeff Francoeur on a rare walk.
It was pretty exciting to see Bobby Parnell make his first career plate appearance -- and slap a hit and even come around to score. Then he earned his first career save. Pretty good game!
Mixed emotions about this guy. Part of me salutes him for honoring Gil instead of being among the thousands at the game with a current player on his back.

But as a jersey purist, I just can't. The Mets didn't have names of their backs when Hodges managed. And if I'm going to mock Yankees fans for putting Ruth 3 on their jerseys, I have to be consistent.
Oh man, Mr. Met himself calls me out on the Streak of Shame! Has he not heard that the streak ended last year in Cincinnati?
Yea! Final score 9-0, Mets win, as proudly proclaimed by the scoreboard and message boards!
We all checked in with the brick one last time before heading out.

Counting our way through Citi Field, part 2

Been a crazy couple days recovering from the glorious New York roadtrip and catching up at work.

But it’s time to get back to the Citi Field punch list!

11) Locate the knish stand. My favorite author confirms there are two locations, and since we’re there on a Wednesday, they’ll be open. Explain what a knish is to my son. Yum!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! In fact, there were several stands, and Cousin Tim made sure we were able to knish nosh. They were excellent! Tim, however, opted for a pretzel. He dropped it at the concession stand, and was bummed. But the Mets employee said, "No problem!" and gave him a new one. We’re convinced the real Mets employees have been replaced by pod people.

12) Visit with my favorite author and ask him to sign a copy of "Faith and Fear in Flushing."

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! And I credit Greg for being persistent and looking for us when the iPhone suddenly couldn’t get service. Actually, not all the ballpark employees are as helpful as Tim’s pretzel vendor. Greg tells the story so much better than I could.

My copy of "Faith and Fear" now resides next to Robert Caro's "The Power Broker" on the "prized and signed" section of the book shelf.

13) Cross the black bridge in rightfield that they still haven’t named.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! The bridge was much more impressive in person than in the photos, a very nice feature. Greg thinks it should be named after Willie Mays. I don’t disagree, but I want something named after Tom Seaver first.

14) Locate the controversial Dwight Gooden signature, sprawled on the wall of the Ebbets Club, removed, framed and now allegedly on display for all to enjoy.

DENIED! Our first failure. I looked all over the place, and even checked with numerous employees. Some very helpful folks even gave me an phone number to call — which is how we discovered the phone issues. Another employee did some checking, and said it was out for a while, but is now under wraps until the Mets Hall of Fame or something along those lines is created. Not holding our breath, of course.

15) Pose with Mr. Met. My friend Dave Pelland says the World’s Best Mascot makes time to greet fans in the area near the Wiffle ball field, which we also shall attempt to crash.

MISSION PARTIALLY ACCOMPLISHED: We didn’t actually pose with Mr. Met, but we did see him close-up from our seats in the sixth row. We ventured out to the Wiffle ball field, which is very cool. It was camp day, so there were a million kids. We had no chance at getting into the batter’s box to take some swings, but we were able to watch a little.

16) Locate, but not pose with, the infamous Cow Bell Man. Just need to see this guy after hearing about him all these years.

DENIED! I’m not distressed about this. It would have been interesting, but there were other, more important things to do, see, and eat.

17) Purchase something with the awful rectangle Inaugural Season logo, know that it is historic. No team can possibly create a worse logo.

DENIED! This stunned me. The only thing I saw with the horrid patch was the patches themselves at the team shop. Rather than pay $15 there, I bought one for half that on eBay.

But there were many things with the far superior logo that has the rotunda, and I snagged some outstanding caps for our celebrants.

This shows me that the Mets are aware of just how brutal that patch is — national ridicule will do that — but were already locked in to having them on the jerseys.

18) Walk past the Aylssa Milano "Touch" boutique. Openly wonder why it exists. Lament that the ballpark has a Aylssa Milano "Touch" boutique but not a Mets Hall of Fame.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I did indeed stumble upon the Touch boutique while heading up to find Greg. I did lament. But it sort of out of the way, and not as bad as feared.

19) Find out if we can get down into that field level area in right field under the overhang. Discover what the game looks like from Jeff Francoeur’s perspective.
You can see he rightfield corner under the Model's sign. But it's more fun to see the Home Ron Apple rising after David Wright's blast!

DENIED! We didn’t get there. I don’t know if the area is off-limits. It was a matter of priorities at this point. Maybe putting 20 items on the list was a little too ambitious. Last year we had the benefit of a long rain delay that have me an extra hour or so to wander around Shea. This time there was so much to see and enjoy that we really didn’t to get to explore as thoroughly as I thought. Hmmm. Might have to go back again!

20) Sit back and enjoy seeing the Mets with some of my favorite people in the whole world. Last year was about reliving memories and saying good-bye. This time is about making memories and saying hello!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! In the most spectacular fashion, I must say. Taking my son to his first Mets game in New York — he attended the first inter-league game at Tiger Stadium as a 5-year-old back in 1997 — was very special, especially being able to do it with Dad and Tim, and Greg, who counts as family.

Next we’ll get to some of the non-punch list observations from our wonderful visit.

Yankee fans: Don't mess with my team, it's home or my cap

I avoid conversing with Yankee fans whenever possible. It just doesn’t end well.

We went the mall after church today so my daughter could use her Justice gift card. I maintain that no male has lasted more than five minutes in Justice, which attracts tween girls the way chicken wings attract adult guys.

So I let the ladies rush ahead and slipped into Lids across the hall to see some of the new baseball caps.

I noticed two employees, as I scanned some of the unstructured caps looking for any thing with the Mets on it, which they have on occasion.

“Anything you’re looking for?” the guy worker asked.

“Just looking. Do you have anything for the Mets?”

“Mets?” the female employee said, practically sneering. “I’m a Yankee fan. We can fight now.”

I looked up, and sure enough there was a woman wearing a cheesy unstructured Yankees cap, the kind that looks intentionally “distressed.”

Now, I’d rather look at the Lip Smackers and Web Kinz at Justice than fight with a Yankee fan because it’s not like you’re going to change their minds.

Anyway, I went back to looking at the caps, and there were a couple Mets ones there.

“The Yankees opened their great new stadium last week,” she said. “Maybe the Mets can get one someday.”

OK, I bit. I don’t know why. Maybe I feared the Jonas Brothers t-shirts more than the conversation. But I’m not going to allow these people to start belittling Citi Field with my sweet brick right there on the FanWalk.

“They have a new one, it’s beautiful. And they don’t get beat 22-4 there.”

“Ooooh man, that hurt!” the male employee said with a grimace. I don’t think he was a Yankee fan, and probably suffers greatly by being exposed to co-workers who think Derek F. Jeter has range or that Robinson Cano is a good player

It was a one-punch knockout.

The humbled Yankee fan walked over and showed me the new Mets caps, and said she could special order caps with the Citi Field patch. She special-ordered a Yankee Stadium cap for her husband.

We discussed the merits of putting the patch on the side, like the Mets did, and on the back, like the Yankees did. Naturally I think the Yankee cap looks ridiculous from any direction, but kept that to myself.

I slipped over to Justice, ready to face the “girls rock” t-shirts and flip-flops, my team and its home properly defended.

Saying hello to Citi Field by holding on to a piece of Shea Stadium

My slice of heaven arrived.

With my in-laws serving as prime enablers and spoiling me wildly, my family decided I should bid on a piece of Shea Stadium as a birthday present. It was fitting since the stadium made its debut about two weeks after I did in 1964.

The team’s Web site has been trickling out directional and informational signs, photos, ads, banners, flags and other items from our favorite ballpark for an online auction.

And there are bricks, napkin dispensers, dugout bench slices and even visitor lockers in a “buy it now” section where you can obtain artifacts without having to compete.

I have some ballpark remains in the baseball room, with seats from Milwaukee and Cleveland, a brick from Milwaukee and small section of Riverfront Stadium turf. Also some infield dirt from Wrigley, Milwaukee and what was then Joe Robbie Stadium, and some of Tiger Stadium pitcher's mound.

All are wonderful, but none of them came from Shea.

So I scanned the list of items available to select a target. None of them are bad, obviously. And I was able to eliminate about 90 percent of the items because they were already crazy expensive.

I also decided I wanted something that was attached to the actual stadium. So the parking space nametags for Mets executives and the vinyl signs that hung from the light poles were eliminated.

I also thought the Diamond Club check presenters also didn’t cut it, since there will likely be items just like it in Citi Field, and I wanted something more stadium-related.

Then I decided I wanted something that was permanent, something that was a part of the stadium from its first game to its last.

That narrowed the list to three items: a brick, a brick that was a part of the outfield wall, and metal elbows from the railings in the stands.

Bricks are very cool. And paired with my Citi Field Fanwalk brick from Cousin Tim, it would have been a neat display.

But I focused on the metal elbows. I’ve seen people with bricks, but I’ve never seen railing sections like this before on display.

The pipe is about an inch-and-a-half across, and the section is just shy of a foot. There’s a company name tag for the firm that held the box seats -- thought the first one I bid on was blank – and a metal number riveted to the top.

MeiGray Group, the auctioneer, tries to attach players to the box numbers, which is kind of silly since it’s not like Mike Piazza has any connection to this elbow because it was No. 31.

I felt kind of a personal connection to the railings. They’re a part of the stadium I was very familiar with, having leaned on them and banged on them all those years.

They’re a part of Shea I recall vividly from my childhood. And unlike the concession stand signs or even the gate markers, these elbows where there when Jack Fisher threw the first pitch, when Cleon Jones caught the fly that ended the 1969 Series, and when Buddy and Pete went at it.

They were on the job when all we had to cheer for were Pat Zachary and Doug Flynn, when Tom Seaver came home in triumph in 1983 and throughout the domination of 1986.

They held firm and strong through homers including Mike Scioscia’s sucker punch, Robin Ventura’s grand slam single, Mike Piazza’s grief release in 2001 and when Yadier Molina earned “Bleeping” as a middle name.

They were there for my first game – Banner Day with my family in 1971 – and the final game last year with Dad and Tim.

The railings were at Shea for the first game through the last.

With the brick as a back-up, I bid on an orange elbow with a blank sign, got out-bid in the final hours, and found another, bid late and crossed my fingers.

“The rubble,” as my family calls it, It arrived over the weekend and was waiting on our porch when we arrived home.

Apparently workers or clients from D.F. King & Co. Inc. sat there for years, judging from the condition of the nameplate. The company’s Web site says it is a “leading full-service proxy solicitation and corporate/financial communications firm, specializing in proxy contests and tender/exchange offers for corporate control.”

Not exactly sure what that is, but I hope they enjoyed their seats as much as I’m enjoying the railing that enclosed them.

As all this planning and plotting was transpiring, My Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Jim surprised me with a medallion that has some glorious dirt from Shea’s infield. What a treasure!

So now I have Shea’s field and stands represented in the baseball room. Actually on the fireplace mantle in the living room, but I’m not sure how long my wife is going to allow that.

But with something to hold and keep, I can reluctantly let go of Shea today as the Mets play their first game in their new ballpark.

It’s a blank slate, with only one layer of still-drying paint on its railing, ready to be the setting for new memories, all starting tonight.

Lucky seven reasons why the streak ends Saturday

The streak of shame could come in an inglorious end this weekend in Cincinnati. The 17-year, 6-state trail of woe is listed in the margin. Rather than keep this skeleton in the closet, I’m posting it out there for all to see, almost daring it to continue.

And I’m feeling very good about this weekend. There are many factors in our favor. Here is a lucky seven list of reasons why the Mets should win:

1) They’re playing the Reds.

Over the life of the franchise, the Reds are 292-246 against the Mets, and 157-107 in Cincinnati. But Mets history shows that we tend to do well in big games, looking at the 1999 Wild Card tie-breaker game and the 1973 playoffs. Sure, it requires a little Buddy brawling or Edgardo Alfonzo heroics, but it happens. And this is a Big Game, though the team might not realize it.

2) The Reds owe me. Big time.

Yes, I’m talking about the Seaver trade. I realize that the trade isn’t their fault, and that the Mets were going to trade him to some one.

And, truth be told, the Reds have afforded Tom the proper respect. His jersey hangs in the team museum to accept proper tribute, and he’s enshrined in the Reds Hall of Fame. As he should be.

3) The game is our Eighth Annual BaseballTruth.com Executive Game.

The site has passed on, but the tradition continues. Each year, we gather at a ballpark to celebrate all things baseball, take care of site business and mock me for my blind loyalty. My All-Star ballots used to be held up to ridicule because I’d only vote for Mets. They all deserved it!

Anyway, we seem to bring luck to the home teams. The white jerseys have won five of the seven previous games.

The Reds and Tigers are the only losses. The Cubs pounded on the Reds on 1970s night last year, and the we saw the Tigers in Roger Clemens’ bid for win No. 300. He left with the lead, the Yankee infield kicked the ball around, leading to lots of extra innings and an eventual Tigers loss.

Plus, Steve, one of the executives, has seen the Reds twice this season — once at Shea — and they’ve lost both time. Maybe I’d spread the jinx curse to him.

4) The Mets are hot, hot, hot.

Well, all of them except Billy Wagner. But a nine-game winning streak bodes well. Will the three-day All-Star break kill the momentum or just give them time to reload?

5) The blue caps.

They’ve worn the blue caps throughout the streak. And Wagner wore the black and blue road cap in the All-Star debacle. No doubt they’re wearing the blue caps again tonight, and I’ll have mine for Saturday.

In fact, I’m going all superstitious for this game. They’ve lost with me wearing my black Robin Ventura road jersey, and my black Johan Santana home jersey and even my black Home Run Apple t-shirt. Clearly the color is involved.

So I’ll slip in wearing my new Mets Statue of Liberty t-shirt and the blue cap. Just to be sure.

6) They’re getting closer to winning.

The margin of victory for the opposition is going in the right direction. The Tigers beat them by eight runs last year, followed by two games with the Cubbies that were decided by six runs. The, the vile Yankees only topped them by a single run. Clearly, the momentum is headed our way.

7) The magic talisman has arrived.

My postal carrier was not thrilled by the glory she delivered this afternoon. I just happened to be outside when she arrived for the hand-off.

"You’ve got a heavy package."

"Yes! My brick!!!"

"It’s a brick?" she said, disbelieving.

"Yeah, it’s really cool."

She drove away and I skipped into the house to set it free. Cousin Tim, my benefactor, swears that the brick reverses the curse, and that touching it before the game will bring positive results.

Tim is never wrong. The brick seals the deal.

A delayed five for the Fourth

After wrapping up road trips to spend quality time celebrating all sorts of things with both sides of the family, I can offer a delayed Deezo Friday Five showing the parts of our heritage tour that did not include Shea.

The day before the our farewell to the ballpark, we made a tour of the old stomping grounds, including the former home, the former favorite place, the proposal spot, schools, and the park where I worked during summers. We also reunited with family and even had some adventures.


1) First, the homestead on Third Avenue in Massapequa Park doesn’t seem to have changed in the 17 years since my family moved. Many Mets games were viewed in the room on the upper right. I planted the tree on the left. The yard seemed bigger when I was complaining about raking the leaves.


2) Speaking of homes, Theodore Roosevelt’s home, Sagamore Hill, in Oyster Bay was my favorite place when I was a kid. I was all about TR – during the off-season, when TS wasn’t busy. So it was a thrill to bring my daughter there for the first time.


3) Then we made what was supposed to be a quick stop to snap a photo of the president’s resting place, which is kept safe behind iron gates. But as we were stepping away, the very enthusiastic cemetery superintendent came out of nowhere. He opened the gates so we could go inside for a respectful photo, and then proceeded to give us a tour of most of the graves, pointing out Roosevelt family buried there. Then he started handing me all sorts of paper including copies of every letter to the editor he’s ever sent.

He was very passionate and informative – but my daughter said it was like a Scooby Doo episode about an old man in a cemetery and wondered if were going to be permanent residents. We broke free when Dad beeped the horn.


4) Did I mention that I have the coolest cousin ever? Tim, who is full of surprises, presented me with a brick on the new Citi Field Fan Walk! There are not words to describe how moved I was. I might be 800 miles from the Mets when they play, but I’ll feel like a little part of me will be there. Of course, given the streak of shame, the Mets might not like that. But we still have some more temporaty tats for a game next year to locate my part of Citi.


5) Now for lesser, but still cool, souvenirs. I was holding off buying anything for this year’s All-Star Game except for a program, pennant and ball because of all the Yankee taint. But then I saw this t-shirt and it’s just too glorious. I know the painted Ladies Liberty are to coincide with the game, but this is more about the Mets and Shea’s final year with no mention of the Yanks at all. Plus you gotta love the saying on the front: “Freedom, Opportunity & Baseball.” That pretty much sums up the US on a July 4th weekend.

Choose new Shea's name carefully

Now that we have some idea of what the new Mets stadium is going to look like, we can fixate on what it’s going to be called.

After all, stadium names are important and run from perfect to "Honey, cover the eyes of the children." The name becomes an important part of a team’s identity. And even if the new title is going to go to the highest corporate bidder, there should be some rules so we don’t get stuck with some atrocity, examples of which we shall discuss later on.

One of my favorite bloggers, www.lonestarmets.com, has started the debate with a poll listing nine suggestions. I encourage you the check out his site and start voting. Here are his suggestions, and how the voting fared as I typed this.

— Ashburn Stadium (1 percent): I don’t like this one. Richie played just one year then hung ’em up.

— Payson Field (2 percent): Joan Payson was a pioneer and doesn’t seem to get enough recognition. But you could have made a better case for slapping her name on the first stadium.

— Wilpon Field (3 percent): Not bad. It’s better than Skill Sets Stadium.

— New Shea Stadium (7 percent): I see the traditionalists are voting. It’s just not gonna happen.

— The Ballpark in Queens (8 percent): This would distinguish it from that Outhouse in the Bronx.

— Jackie Robinson Stadium (11 percent): No argument from me. Jackie’s one of my heroes. But naming stadium after other teams’ stars might not gain broad acceptance.

— Shea Stadium (13 percent): It’s got a very familiar ring to it.

— Gil Hodges Stadium (17 percent): It’s never a bad idea to salute Gil, and it would serve as a tribute to his former team, at least the Brooklyn-based version of it.

...and the leading vote-getter so far:

— Derek Jeter Sucks (39 percent): Lone Star is clearly thinking outside the box here. But I can’t find fault with it. It makes a very bold statement, and does so with a little bit of attitude. Jeter does suck. Yet we’re the only ones who seem to realize it. The Yankee hype machine has everyone thinking the guy is going to Cooperstown. Why not stake a claim for truth in sports? The Yankees have always been button-down, corporate America. The Mets have been the team with the attitude and edge.

So now we know what the fans want. But we must grasp reality. The name is going to go to the highest bidder. Let’s establish some ground rules for the team to use when it decides which pile of cash it is going to accept.

The Reds got lucky with a great corporate name that doesn't seem like one.

The Reds got lucky with Great American Ballpark, at least with the name. But there aren’t too many other corporations with names that work so well.

And there have been a number of out-and-out disasters in recent years. Take that place where the Astros play. It started as Enron Park, which was hastily changed after the scandal. It had a generic name for a short while before it became Minute Maid Field, which is just embarrassing — though not as embarrassing as "Yankee Stadium."

The Astros' ballpark started as Enron and is now named after juice - and the game is juiced up enough as it is.

We can learn a lot from the mistakes of others. So Wilpons, start taking notes:

1) Pick a company that we think might be around in a couple years, or at least not start merging all over the place. Look at the fiasco in San Francisco, which started as Pac Bell Park, became SBC Park and now goes by AT&T Park. The place has had three names during its six-year existence. Contrast that to, say, Wrigley Field, which has had the same name for 80 years. The Diamondbacks are on their second stadium name, and the Marlins on their third.

2) Don’t name the stadium after a dumbass. The Braves could have named their stadium after Hank Aaron, an all-American hero. Instead it was named after Ted Turner, a guy who married Jane Fonda and kept doing other goofy things like thinking he could manage a game. No wonder they can’t get people to show up to playoff games.

3) Keep it short and simple. Busch Stadium, Tropicana Field, Coors Field, Miller Park, Safeco Field. All easy to say and remember. U.S. Cellular Field — not so good. And besides, no one is ever going to call it that.
The park formally known as Comiskey.

4) No names that will tick everyone off. Naming rights cost millions of dollars, right? So why is KeySpan, a utility, shelling out big bucks when it is supposed to be keeping my monthly bill lower. It’s one thing when some corporation is buying names. You can choose not to buy their products. But I shouldn’t be forced to subsidize the natural gas company’s publicity efforts.

There you go. Now if we can get Chase Bank to change its name to Derek Jeter Sucks and buy the naming rights...

This just in:

I read this suggestion in article, and it came from a Mets fan. The best potential buyer of the name rights: Met Life, the insurance company.

Yes! Met Life Park!!! Could it be any better?

Actually, the only thing that would be better would be to convince the company to buy the naming rights to another new yard in the works -- the one in the Bronx.

Oh, to see the Yankees played in a place called Met Life Park would be so glorious that I'm considering taking up a collection to help the company along.