The Shea skyline lives!

My brother-in-law Steve sent some awesome photos of the "Superflush" at Citi Field. It was nice to see some pieces of Shea made it over.

Looks like skyline from atop the scoreboard is now over a concession area.

The Home Run Apple looks nice in its new home.

The front of the scoreboard says, "Let's Go Mets," and the back says "Home of the Mets."

If it works for Obama, it works for the Mets Guy

This is all Greg’s fault.

No doubt inspired by this week’s inauguration, he introduced me to a cool Obamicon.me Facebook application — found here -- to show a nice photo of his pet cats.

His activity and all that followed kicks off this week’s Deezo Friday Five.

1) No doubt you saw Barack Obama’s iconic "Hope" campaign posters. The program allows you to use any photo and turn it into a mock Obama poster. You can even pick the word on the bottom, since "Hope" is now so ...cliché!

Being a presidential junkie, I quickly created one using my own photo, then created a special Mets Guy version.

My only regret is that I couldn't adjust the colors to use blue and orange.

Then I started exploring the possibilities — for both good and bad. Cousin Tim, a known bad ass, got one from our day at Shea.

Speaking of Shea, Greg offered a version that certainly would have garnered some votes.

Tom would win in a landslide, just as he did when he was up for the Hall of Fame.

My cat, Tug, would get more votes than Duncan Hunter. So would Gene.



Then, once you start speaking the truth, you can’t stop.

Sorry, Derek F. Jeter. But deep down you know it’s true.

So I figure now that I have a cool poster, I can start campaigning for president, or at least a spot on a local school board.

2) I’ve come full circle on the Citi Field Inaugural Season patch.

Clearly, this is a Mercury Mets moment.

For the unaware, most teams several years ago participated in a "Turn Ahead the Clock" promotion that featured playing a game in futuristic uniforms.

Some were pretty cool. But the Mets created an odd Mercury Mets persona that wasn’t just bad. It was shockingly awful.

And I was reminded that when the Mets screw something up, they don’t just do something that kinda sucks.

No. When the Mets mess up, they seek to define the bottom. Paul Lukas of Uniwatch fame called the patch the worst ever.

Of course it is.

There have been plenty of dull, lifeless patches that are quickly forgotten. But now, any time a bad patch is revealed, it will be compared to the Citi Field patch. And it will fall short.

We must embrace this. It is our destiny.


3) Speaking of destiny, when we kick ass on something, we aim right for the top.

Now I shall refer to the glorious new Home Run Apple.

No team in baseball shall ever attempt to hoist massive celebratory fruit once this new Citi Field Apple rises for the first time.

Published reports say the new, fiberglass Apple is 6 feet tall and 18 feet in diameter — far bigger than the 9-foot-tall original. When a Met hits a homer, the apple will rise 15 feet.

It’s being made in Minnesota and will be installed in the new park sometime in February.

And once it rises, every Phillies fan that used to be content with their bonging Liberty Bell outline will reflect upon their inferiority.


4) The McFarlane people turn out some sweet baseball figures, and I especially love the Cooperstown series, expect that it tends to have A) too many Yankees, and B) players who are not in Cooperstown.

Occasionally, they have C) players in the wrong uniform.

I saw the new figure of 1969 Met Nolan Ryan and wondered aloud why anyone would want him in a Rangers uniform when he could be depicted in his glorious Mets pinstripes.

Seriously, does anybody remember Ryan pitched for the Rangers, Astros or Angels?

Plus, the new figure has him all bloody. I thought this might be from the day when Nolan got a little snotty with future Met Robin Ventura, and Robin had to run to the mound and teach him a thing or two.

But no, Nolan apparently cut his lip because he had trouble fielding his position in a late-season game against Kansas City.

Would have been so much better to show him mowing down Orioles in the 1969 Series.

5) There’s a chance I was a bit of a wise guy in college. That leads us to the strange case of the Three-Pronged Adapter.

You need the background. I worked as a desk aide in the dorm while I was at the University of Missouri, a job that included handing out keys to people who lock themselves out of their rooms, calling maintenance and other tasks devoted to keeping Floyd Cramer Hall a happy place.

Part of this entailed writing in the daily log anything that happened that people in the following shifts needed to know about.

There were about six of us, and one was deemed "head desk aide" which was as important as it sounds.

Except that the person who held this post took it very seriously. And she spent much time developing policies and protocol that needed to be followed.

Then came the new vacuum.

It had a three-pronged plug, and all the outlets in the dorm had outlets with two slots, making it hard to use the vacuum.

This was not an issue for the two guy floors in our four-story building, since guys didn’t think about vacuuming their floors until the over-sized mice fed on Domino’s pizza droppings started to carry out what limited furniture we had.

But the residents of the two women’s floors cared about such things, and someone was dispatched to the hardware store to buy an adapter.

The HDA, as we shall now call the head desk aide, then distributed a long list of rules pertaining to the three-pronged adapter. Let’s just say no one was going to walk out the door with that thing without signing their life away. Closing on a house was easier.

The point was that the three-pronged adapter was too precious to let out of our sight, and we would be held responsible should be go missing. One would think that it would have been easier to just spend another couple bucks and buy about 10 of the tools, but that’s not how we did things.

Writers view an empty page as a challenge. And after reading this missive, I spent time I should have spent studying to create a whole back story for the three-pronged adapter, noting that it was too dangerous to be let out of our sight.

The people manning the desk on the following shifts only added to the story, and by the end of the next day, the three-pronged adapter had a prison jumpsuit, a Jason mask and a bloody knife extended from little paper arms.

The HDA, predictably, hit the roof. So did her boyfriend, who was a fellow desk aide, and, as far as we could tell, was the only one of us who actually read the policy manuals and was her chief defender.

The HDA’s calls for more order and respect for authority went unheeded, and the legend of the three-pronged adapter grew.

When I graduated in December, the remaining desk aides smuggled the three-pronged adapted out of the office without filling out the forms and presented it to me as a farewell gift.

And I’ve kept it these 22 years as a playful reminder of my Missouri years.

This year, we were setting up some Christmas decorations and, amazingly, needed a three-pronged adapter and pressed him into service.

I filled out none of the forms. Always fight The Man!

Shea Quest '08: Finishing off the Farewell bucket list

OK, so we were off by a day. I’m glad the Mets could finish off Shea’s final Subway Series on a high note.

Here’s the second part of my 20-point Shea Quest “Bucket List,” with photo evidence where possible.

And I’d be remiss in not thanking all the folks who left comments and sent e-mail offering tips and suggested. Some of these would not have been possible without your assistance.

The previous post had numbers 1-10, so we pick this up at No. 11.

11) Make my way down to the field level seats deep in left to get as close as possible to the retired numbers for a photo. Then buy a frame when I get home for No. 41.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Taking advice, I walked straight to that section like I knew what I was doing moved all the way to the rail and snapped off all the shots I needed. My wife has declared veto rights on the frame and hanging spot.

12) Walk up to a Yankee fan – any fan, it doesn’t matter – and say “Deep down, you know he’s over-rated, right?” That fact that they will know I am talking about Jeter without even saying his name shows that they know the truth.


MISSION ACOMPLISHED! Tim gets credit for this. There was guy in our section with Yankee gear, and he dropped the “Jeter is over-rated line” masterfully. The guy didn’t dare strike back, offering up a feeble, “Yeah, so is ARod.”

I think this happened for one of two reasons. The first is that the fan knows that Jeter is in fact over-rated. And throwing ARod under the bus is second nature for these people.


But the other is that I think the guy was just plain scared. Tim, Dad and I geared up before the game with Mets temporary tattoos purchased in the gift shop. We each had the Mets logo on one cheek, and a huge Mr. Met on the other. You have to be a pretty big bad ass to feel confident enough to walk around with a huge Mr. Met on your face. Because clearly, we were capable of almost anything at that point and were not to be messed with.

13) Participate in a “Jose Joooosseee Jose Joooooseeeee” chant.

MISSION ACCPMPLISHED! Well, kind of. There was no stadium-wide chant, but a couple smaller chants. Probably because Reyes was doing nothing more spectacular than getting picked off second.

14) Sneak into the Diamond Club to see the Mets Hall of Fame, pay tribute to the Seaver bust.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Oh, and in glorious fashion. This was one of the best adventures of the trip. I took an elevator from the Loge to get there, and actress/Mets fan Glenn Close walked on. A brush with fame is always pretty sweet. I tried to not look like I was looking at her and blend in. But then, I did have a large Mr. Met on my face.

I stepped off the elevator and saw the gift store straight ahead and a maze of velvet ropes. An employee asked if I had Diamond Club reservations. Following advice, I asked to go to the gift shop and was let through the ropes. Then I asked where the Hall of Fame was located, and the employee said, “Ah, turn around. And there they were.

Tributes were paid, but it is not an especially impressive-looking display. Then again, anything that holds two World Series trophies and a Tom Seaver bust is by definition impressive.

One question: All of the players are depicted from their playing days and in uniform. But Cleon Jones’ bust shows him in a suit and tie and looks to be around the age he was when he was enshrined, long after his career was over. Anybody know what happened there?

After all this glory, I came back with the whole gang. And who steps on the elevator. Glenn Close – again! Either that’s an amazing coincidence or she likes to ride the elevator.

15) Buy one of those souvenir mini-bats with Mike Piazza on it, find a Yankee fan in a Clemens jersey and pretend to throw it at them, then say, “NOW YOU KNOW HOW MIKEY FELT, PUNK!”

DENIED! The souvenir bats were $12, and that’s too much try to teach a lesson to a Clemens fan.

16) Find the one they call “Cow Bell Man.” I hear it’s not wise to engage in conversation with Cow Bell Man or even look him directly in the eyes. But I’m just curious to see what this guy is all about.

DENIED! I saw plenty of strange looking and behaving people, but none were “Cow Bell Man.” Maybe he doesn’t get into the Loge. But I did a lot of walking and was listening for cow bells, and did not hear them. How is it possible to share an elevator with an Oscar-nominated actress – twice! – and not even catch a glimpse of a guy everyone called ubiquitous.

17) Walk up to a Yankee fan – any Yankee fan – and say, “So, is this the year he tests positive?” They’ll know who I’m talking about.

KIND OF. I threw a pretty week taunt at a Yankee fan after the game when he made some Jeter crack. But Jeter’s not the one we’re all thinking of. Nothing to be proud of.

18) Refuse to sing along with “Sweet Caroline” when it’s played on the PA. I like the song, but it’s lame to steal a Red Sox tradition.

MISSION DENIED! As several friends commented, the Mets have already stopped playing this. So I can’t take credit, nor could I not participate as planned.

19) Have my new camera ready on the video setting for when the Mets hit a home run and the glorious apple rises from the top hat in centerfield.


FAILURE. Both Castro and Wright hit homers, and both time the apple went up and down before I could even get the camera out. But I enjoyed watching it.

20) After the game ends, I want to stay for a moment and look to the spot in left where Cleon dropped to one knee with the final out in his glove, the mound where Seaver bowed and the place behind first base where Mookie’s dribbler rolled past.I want to see and the spot midway up the scoreboard where Mo’s blast hit – and the area below it where Robin’s “grand slam single” landed.I want to look at the foul territory where “Mettle” briefly ran to remember that as bad it is, it’s not as bad as it was.I want one more look at the outfield wall where Endy leapt and the dirt around second where Pete and Buddy brawled, and the infield grass to speculate when and where Jesse’s glove finally landed and the area near home plate where Say Hey said “Willie, say ‘Good-bye’ to America.”I want to burn all of these places into my memory, as if to stick them into my backpack with the program and yearbook and camera. Then, finally, I can say, “Good-bye” to Shea.

I look at this and see Tom, Willie, Yogi and Rusty walking out to ask the fans in left to stop throwing garbage at Pete Rose.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I actually did this through out the day – and the hour-long rain delay. James Earl Jones’ line in “Field of Dreams” about the memories being so thick that you have the swat them away is true. There wasn’t a part of the ballpark that didn’t summon a memory of a game, a play or a special day.

Dad said he found it hard to believe that this building that Shea simply wouldn’t exist a year from now.

We’re going to look out on Citi Field and not see Cleon or Willie or Tom. Nothing will need to be swatted.

Which is not to say there won’t be new memories. It’s just a little hard to let go of the old ones.

Willie Randolph, the tribe as spoken.

This past season of Survivor was the best in years even though Parvati pretty much flirted her way to $1 million without contributing to anything in any way that I could see.

Then it had me thinking. What if we could combine my two favorite shows – Mets baseball and Survivor – into one. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could have "Survivor – Flushing?"

Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez is like Jonny Fairplay, who has the rep and the cool nickname – and seems to make only a cameo appearance in the season.

Brady Clark would be like Mikey B, who got voted off during one of the first episodes and I forgot all about him until the reunion show.

Aaron Heilman is like Chet, the guy who kept getting his butt kicked week after week and somehow kept hanging around. Aaron, take note. Eventually everybody got tired of Chet’s whining and sent him packing. And unless you want to be playing in New Orleans in July – shudder – you’d better get your act together.

Pedro is like Jonathan — a great player and good leader who was ejected early because of an injury.

Nelson Figueroa is like James, who was just happy to be there and was in over his head, sticking around so long that even he was surprised that he was still there. You just know he’d hand off a fake immunity idol to Jorge Sosa, like James did to Eliza.

No Met is as stupid as Erik, who was tricked into giving away his immunity necklace.

And speaking of the immunity idol, Willie Randolph has been managing like he’s had the thing in his back pocket. Realistically, I think he played it to keep his job after last season’s collapse.

Willie, if you lose two of three to the vile Yankees this weekend, and you see the players chatting together on the beach, rest assured they are going to write your name on the next ballot.

The tribe has spoken. It’s time for you to go.

On happier note, let’s get to the Deezo Friday Five.

1) I loved the pink bats and ribbons players used on Mother’s Day to bring awareness to breast cancer. My daughter and I went to see the West Michigan Whitecaps, who were going to wear pink jerseys. The game was rained out, but they didn’t announce this until we had already had our fill of Bosco sticks and the gift shop. They handed out pink T-shirts with the ‘Caps logo on the front. Only problem was the back listed the date as "Mother’s Day, May 11, 2007." Oops. The game has been rescheduled for May 26, and the team promised correctly dated shirts.

2) Holland, Mich. is a city about a half-hour from here, and you know you’ve crossed the border when you see each yard has either a decorative wooden windmill or statues of two Dutch kids bending at the waist and puckering — but not actually kissing, because you wouldn’t want to encourage such racy behavior. Don’t get me started. I was making fun of this at work, and my wife pointed out that such abuse was being hurled about by a guy who has a Statue of Liberty lawn sprinkler. I replied that the issue shouldn’t be whether or not I have one, but why everyone else doesn’t have such a glorious display.

3) The Home Run Apple lives. Apparently Jeff Wilpon took reporters on a tour of Citi Field and confirmed there would be a place for the beloved apple in centerfield. While it might not be THE apple — which looks a little worse for wear, though we certainly can’t blame Carlos Delgado for that — a sparking new one has the potential to be very cool.

4) The Ebbets Field Flannels catalog is always a fun read because of the obscure minor league teams they choose for jerseys, caps and T-shirts. I was very impressed to see them come up with an Alaska Goldpanners jacket. That’s a short-season team usually stocked with college players — including a young Tom Seaver. That nugget led me to purchase a Goldpanners cap though the team years ago. The team hosts the famous Midnight Sun Tournament, played overnight, without lights.

5) Last week’s hidden iPod gem has a hit, so I thought I’d hit shuffle and see what else came up. There is absolutely no reason why Sniff ‘n’ the Tears’ "Driver’s Seat" should be as good as it is. The lyrics make no sense whatsoever, the drummer sounds like he’s playing a different song and the other instruments drop in and out as if a middle schooler with ADD is deciding who plays when. I love it. A quintessential one-hit-wonder track.

Cornzilla and Panera Bread muffies? Take it easy, it's only spring training.

Been a pretty good week in Mets land, especially compared to the ongoing fiasco that is the Yankees.

Both teams are hosting events in their stadia in their farewell years. The Mets, of course, are allowing Billy Joel to rock the house, a nod to the historic concerts Shea has hosted over its four decades.

Meanwhile, the Yankees are using their dump for a hockey game. Because, well, they know the team won’t be needing it after the now-traditional swoon in the first round of the playoffs.

Notice, to that the Rangers will be playing the Red Wings instead of the Isles or Devils. That’s probably because the Rangers wanted people cheering for them instead for the opposition.

And then the team turned a spring game into a glorified fantasy camp, allowing Billy Crystal to celebrate his 60th birthday by taking an at-bat.

Billy Crystal pretending to be a Mets fan.

I noticed they didn’t let Crystal take the field, which would have been pretty risky. You think Derek Jeter is pouting now with A-Rod by his side. What would have happened if all the world had seen that Crystal has more range than Jeter?

It should be noted that when Garth Brooks was in camp with the Mets, he took it seriously and raised money for a valuable cause.

Then you have new tough guy manager Joe Girardi whining because Rays prospect Elliot Johnson hustling in a spring training game took out one of his prospect catchers, saying Johnson should have given himself up so no one got hurt. That must have been what Joe Torre told the Yankees in the 2004 playoffs against the Red Sox.

But enough about the Yankees. Let’s get to the Deezo Friday Five :

1) This is probably the coolest Mets T-shirt ever. I’m expecting to see a lot of Shea Stadium stuff out there this year, but nothing is going to top the glorious Home Run Apple, finally given the respect it deserves. I found this on the Mets shopping site , not that I’m dropping birthday hints or anything.


2) Panera’s chocolate chip muffies = breakfast crack. It’s true that I get a sesame seed bagel and a muffie from my local Panera probably four days a week. The nice people in the store know my order and start bagging and toasting as soon as they see me walking in the door. The down side is that sometimes I actually want something else, but once they start bagging and toasting I don’t have a choice. And if you start yelling "DON’T SLICE THAT SESAME! I WANT A CINNAMON CRUNCH!" as soon as you cross the threshold it’s gonna freak out the other customers.


3) I know very little about "High School Musical," but I know enough to wonder how it could possibly translate into an ice show. I refuse to see this. I’m holding out for "Field of Dreams — On Ice!" The idea of the 1919 Black Sox skating around guys dressed as corn stalks moving in precision nearly moves me to tears. "Hey, Dad. Wanna do a Salchow?"


4) Mary Ann busted for pot? Gotta admit I didn’t see this coming. The Professor? Maybe. Gilligan? Obviously. But not America’s girl next door. Tony and I met Dawn Wells once. She came to Columbia, Mo. to appear at an open house at a new hospital that opened next to our dorm at Mizzou. She was really nice and really pretty and happily autographed photos for us. On the bright side, she followed Tom DeLay's philosophy, "They're gonna use the photo everywhere, so you might as well smile."


5) Cornzilla. The West Michigan Whitecaps are easily the best-run sports franchise I’ve ever seen. But I have to tell you I’m a little worried about this. Here’s the release:

"The Whitecaps are getting even cornier this season! Welcome the newest addition to the Whitecaps family, Cornzilla! Cornzilla can roast 400 ears of corn every hour. You can dip the corn in butter with choices of salt, ranch, Cajun or secret special corn seasoning to top it off! Make sure you stop by Cornzilla on the main concourse — if you dare!"

I dare. I can’t wait. The team’s other signature food is Frankie the Swimming Pig, a darn good pork sandwich, and he gets to be a mascot and everything. I want to see somebody in a Cornzilla costume in the worst way!

In other words:

Two of the best Mets Web sites teaming up? That's what happens when Mets By the Numbers interviews Greg Prince of Faith and Fear in Flushing for a must-read post. But Joe Girardi would say "Take it easy, boys. It's only spring."