Counting our many blessings -- and the turkeys, too

I just finished preparing the mashed sweet potatoes and the steps that will lead to my turkey’s stuffing, events that can only signify that my favorite holiday is approaching.

I love Thanksgiving because I have so much to be thankful for, and I appreciate them all. I’m blessed, and I realize it.

So let’s launch into the annual list of all that is good – and the accounting of the turkeys who try to spoil all the fun.

I’m thankful that I have a job that I love. One and a half, actually. I don’t take this lightly, because Michigan is hurting bad. It’s been a rough year in my state and in my profession. We’re hanging on, and don’t think there isn’t a day when I don’t thank the Lord for this blessing. And I’m glad that I can continue my adjunct teaching job in the spring semester. Working with such wonderful students tells me there are still talented young people who are dedicated to journalism and have hope for the future.

Turkey! Hallmark. People mocked in the past when I bemoaned the Hallmark Christmas Ornament Curse. But I was distraught when I learned that Johan Santana was this year’s decoration. Of course, he had season-ending surgery just after the ornament was released. And he took most of the team with him, leaving us with an especially dreary season.

I’m thankful that I was able to see our beloved Mets three times this season, twice in the spring and on Aug. 5 in our Citi Field debut. And amazingly – considering my past -- the Mets won all three. The 9-0 destruction of the Cardinals in August was viewed from spectacular seats provided by my parents – awesome – and was marred only by Jon Neise being carried off the field to join the DL party. But my son was able to see his first Mets game in New York, and I got all weepy seeing my glorious FanWalk brick, provided by Cousin Tim, who was there to join the celebration. And we all caught up with blogging buddy Greg Prince at the game, too. It was a very, very good day.

Turkeys! The ESPN Sunday Night Baseball crew of Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. Look, I like Miller, one of the best voices in the game. But Morgan is killing me, and he’s an anchor around Miller. When Morgan is not reminding us that he “played the game,” he’s praising Derek F. Jeter. Jeter doesn’t even have to be playing at the time. But it’s darn near embarrassing when he is. How many times have you heard this scenario: A weak, routine five-bouncer to short, which Jeter gets only because it’s hit right at him, then promptly throws to first base, bouncing twice along the way. “Look at Jeter get to that ball,” Morgan will exclaim. “He makes that play look easy. Derek just brings that something special every time he steps on the field. He makes everyone around him better. I know how players do that, because I played the game.” Gag.

I’m thankful for my iPhone, which is very close to surpassing my iPod as the greatest device ever. It is life-altering. The apps are incredible for both work and home. I’m especially thankful for the “Lose it” app. All I’m saying is that I installed it on July 7 and now I’m 50 pounds lighter. Really. And there’s the app that tracks how far and fast I can run, with the pause button so I can flick over to the maps app so I can get unlost while running in Texas and find my way back to Aunt Darlene’s house. Yes, this happened.

I’m thankful for lax security in the Astrodome and tour guides who don’t mind giving individual tours of Minute Maid Park. That trip to Texas offered all kinds of adventures.

I’m thankful that the Baseball Hall of Fame is taking the task of adding executives and pioneers more seriously by adding a keen and brilliant mind to the selection committee. That would be Tom Seaver, who is being lured from the vineyards next week to make sure these knuckleheads don’t mess things up again.

Turkeys! Sadly, the Hall still managed to goof things up. The committee to consider managers and umpires includes Tom Verducci, the infamous Yankee hack who actually declared that cyborg/reliever Mariano Rivera should start the 2008 All-Star Game so applause could fall on him like soft rain. I almost gagged on the turkey just typing that again. But seriously, this is a bad idea. Is there any doubt that “The Duce” will start the meeting by protesting that there are non-Yankees on the ballot? Do we not believe that Verducci will, with a straight face, make a case that Billy Martin should have a spot in Cooperstown, then try to slip in Ralph Houk and Joe Girardi and goodness knows how many once and future Yankee managers into the Hall? Then he'll move along to Yankee coaches and bullpen catchers and the grounds crew and Derek F. Jeter's parents for their role in making the world a better place. I, for one, hope that they don’t put Verducci in charge of counting the ballots.

I’m thankful that the Mets are not totally screwing up the new uniforms all the way. We love the team. You know that. But sometimes it makes questionable decisions when it comes to tinkering with the astonishingly great uniforms the Mets were blessed with. This week the team announced it would feature cream-colored pinstripes intended to honor the 1969 champs. I’m down with that, even though the typical Mets pinstripes are the best uniforms in baseball. But for reasons I can not figure out, they are leaving the black drop shadow on there. Help me figure this out. If you are going to recreate a uniform from 1969, why exactly are you keeping the feature from the past decade? We know the Mets. The team makes progress in increments. That’s why we’re getting a Mets Hall of Fame a year after the ballpark opens. As long as we’re headed in the right direction, it’s all good.

I'm thankful that I was allowed to coach the greatest church coed softball team ever. One a communication-forced forfeit prevented us from smashing through the playoffs. We settled for the consolation championship -- excellent -- and lots of wonderful fellowship. And now I can start planning and plotting for next year.

I'm thankful that I was able to hear Audio Adrenaline's Mark Stuart and Will McGinnis one more time. One of my favorite bands, Audio A called it quits a couple years ago when Stuart started losing his voice. Now he and Will tour as Audio Unplugged, and share their stories as they play a few songs, which is easier on Mark's voice. I had the chance to meet them after a recent concert, and share how much their music inspired me, especially when I was looking for ways to connect with the middle school youth groups. They probably hear that kind of thing all the time, but maybe not. I didn't want the opportunity to say "thank you" slip by.

I hope this holiday finds you happy and healthy and in appreciation of the blessings the Lord has given us. Even in the toughest of years on and off the field, may we never forget what is special about our lives, and the people we get to share them with.

Bowie and Verducci lead the Hall of Fame over the shark

It’s a good week for Mike Pagliarulo, Steve Balboni and Kevin Maas.

But it’s a bad week for baseball fans every where.

The reason: The Baseball Hall of Fame has jumped the shark.

Oh, I’m sure it will still be a glorious place to immerse oneself in baseball history. Cooperstown is a slice of heaven. The museum always will be a special place.

But I’m about ready to walk right past the part of the building with the plaques.

Two reasons: A guy they just voted in and a guy just selected to do the voting.

First, the newly configured Veteran Committee elected someone for the first time since the whole Bill Maseroski debacle. No players, mind you. But five executives and managers.

One of those earning a plaque was former Commissioner Bowie Kuhn.

Dating myself here, but remember that song on Sesame Street that went, “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong?”

Let’s see. Jackie Robinson, Walter Johnson, Tom Seaver and Bowie Kuhn.

Yup, you guessed it.

About the best thing you can say about Bowie was that he wasn’t the worst baseball commissioner. My buddy Will put it best: “Bowie’s ‘leadership’ resulted in two player strikes, a lockout and bad player-management relations for decades.”

Granted, it’s not like Kuhn allegedly encouraged owners to collude or exclude black players or even look the other way when certain players started looking like the Shrek balloon in the Macy’s parade, like some other commissioners might have done.

But 30 years after he was booted out of the job, you just don’t hear people walking around saying, “Bowie Kuhn, right man at the right time. Thank goodness he was at the helm in the turbulent 1970s.”

Plus, he resided over the era of polyester uniforms. He should have evoked the “best interests of baseball” clause the moment the first player stepped on the field with elastic instead of a belt.

About the best thing you can say about Kuhn being in Cooperstown is that there are actually less-deserving people in there. Like Phil Rizzutto.

This leads me to the second reason the Hall has gone shark-jumping. Expect to see many more undeserving Yankees getting votes. Tom Verducci has been invited to join the ranks of those casting ballots.

The Baseball Writers Association of America decided to add to its rolls some people who write for Web sites rather than just newspapers. There were 18 writers nominated and 16 were accepted. A dozen were former newspaper people like Peter Gammons, so this was pretty much bringing some alumni back into the fraternity.

Rob Neyer and Keith Law from ESPN were the two guys who were excluded. I think that’s wrong, but they can fend for themselves.

But Verducci, the Yankee-lovin’ columnist for Sports Illustrated, was one of the writers who gets a vote.

Somewhere, Hensley “Bam Bam” Meulens is cheering.

I envision all kinds of problems. First, we’ll hear Verducci calling for the likes of Fritz Peterson, Bucky Dent and Fred “Chicken” Stanley to be restored to the ballot. And if that happens, we know they’ll get at least one vote.

Then, I suppose he’ll call for waiving the rule mandating a player wait five years until after he retires to be on the ballot --but just for Derek Jeter.

“Why make Derek wait? We all know he’s going in,” he might say.

Oh, who are we kidding. Verducci might start writing in Jeter’s name while he’s still active.

And Verducci already is showing his colors. He wrote a column this week advocating for Tim Raines to be enshrined. I support that, as Rock was one of the best players of the 1980s. I can overlook his short time in pinstripes at the very end of his career.

But in that column, guess the subject of the first three paragraphs? If yousaid "Derek Jeter" you are correct!

As Casey used to say, you can look it up.

Yankees target vulnerable Mets fans

I’m in a fragile state right now, sportswise. I admit it.

I can’t enjoy the World Series without knowing that the Mets should be there, especially watching the likes of Kaz Matsui in those awful vests.

The Jets are terrible, even when they pretend to be the Titans.

The Islanders new sweaters are disastrous.

And I’m pretty certain the University of Missouri Tigers will wake up one morning and remember that they are, in fact, the University of Missouri Tigers and go back to being the doormats of the Big 12.

I’m doing everything I can to keep it together until pitchers and catchers report in February.

I think the Yankees know this.

There must be a Department of Taunting Mets Fans somewhere in the bowels of Yankee Stadium. Because one day I went out to my mailbox and came back with an envelope with what appeared to evil Yankee headgear in the corner.

Then I saw the big bold print, right above my name and address: “Dave, get inside the game with the New York Yankees NEW Extra Bases program!”

Flipping it over, again there was big, bold print: “Dave, Ultimate rewards for the New York Yankees fan!”

I thought it must be some sick and twisted joke. Then I opened it up and read further:

“Dear (Mets Guy), Imagine having a private tour of Monument Park at Yankee Stadium … or a dugout visit with one child (age 7 – 14) and four tickets to the game … or shagging fly balls during the 2008 State Farm Home Run Derby at MLB All-Star Week. You can do all this and more with your New York Yankees Extra Bases Platinum Plus MasterCard credit card.”

Private tour of Monument Park? I’d rather have a private tour of Rikers Island.

Bring kids into the Yankees’ dugout? Someone would slap the bracelets on me and I’d get that trip to Rikers because that’s just child abuse. “Look, kids! That’s Jason Giambi! Nooo, stop crying!”

Shagging flies at Yankee Stadium? I’d rather shag, well, you-know-what with the guy in the circus who walks behind the elephants with a shovel. It would certainly smell better.

There can only be so many reasons for this affront to humanity.

1) They’re so stupid that they actually think I’m a Yankees fan.

2) They’re so smug that they just assume everyone is a Yankees fan and send credit card applications these out to everyone.

3) They’re so cruel that they want to rub it in that our team faded somewhat down the stretch and that their team snuck into the playoffs.

4) Or, they sense that we’re vulnerable. Everyone knows we’re a hurtin’ bunch right now. They’re trying to lure us over to the dark side.

This is how it starts. Take the credit card. We’ll give you a mini-batting helmet allegedly signed by Don Mattingly.

Come sit in the dugout where Joe Torre used to sit until we dumped him because a dozen straight playoff appearances isn’t good enough. Yes, we disinfected it first.

Shag flies? Step into the infield on the spot where Roger made that little oops with the bat shard.
Next thing you know, you’re out there calling ARod ungrateful and declaring Derek F. Jeter to be the best player ever and saying stuff like, “Verducci is right. The Yanks should play all 162 games at home next season because, you know, it is the final year in the House that Ruth Built.

Well, not me, mister!

I’m a hurtin’ pup. But if I can survive the Midnight Massacre, Mettle the Mule, Vince Coleman and the uniforms with the tail under the team name, I can tough out a little late-season collapse.

I shredded that junk mail. Spring training can’t be all that far away. We must be strong.

Cleaning up yet another Tom Verducci mess

Amazingly, Tom Verducci didn't think any of these guys were worthy of his "best players of today team."

I suppose the only thing more predictable than an outrageous Yankee-lovin’ column from Sports Illustrated hack Tom Verducci is a post from me expressing outrage over Yankee-lovin’ Verducci columns.

So for the sake of consistentcy, let’s dissect Verducci’s recent column where he picks today’s very best players at each position. He also picks the best of all-time and of the next five years and those are equally bad. But we only have so much time and energy to spend on Yankee-hacks.

Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way:

SS: Derek Jeter, Yankees. And Verducci’s rationalization: “His defense is slipping, but he is a consistent offensive force who will march well beyond 3,000 hits.”

His defense is slipping? The wax dummy of Jeter at Madam Tussauds has as much — if not more — range as the real Jeter. And the wax version can at least claim it didn’t (allegedly) give herpes to Jessica Alba, as the L.A. Rag Mag celebrity gossip site reported.

Heck, Jeter couldn’t claim five tools if he walked through Lowe’s with a gift card.

Let’s look at some facts:

Player A: .327 ave., 8 HR, 57 RBI, 75 runs, 12 steals
Player B: .303 ave., 9 HR, 47 RBI, 86 runs, 56 steals

Player A, of course, is the object of Verducci’s man-crush. Player B is our own Jose Reyes, who is clearly the better player. Yes, Jeter has more runs batted in, but he’s the DH league and has an actual batter getting on base ahead of him to drive home, as opposed to the pitcher.

Plus, Reyes is an excellent defender and appears to be disease-free.

Player Verducci should have picked: Reyes, of course.

3B: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees; “Best ever among a rare breed: a game-changing infielder.”

What Verducci is leaving out is that ARod has tried to change games by slapping the ball out of a first-baseman’s glove and shouting to distract at a third-baseman so he’d drop a pop-up, a move even his manager criticized.

I won’t deny that Arod hits an occasional homer. But the dude has accumulated enough baggage that the Skanks need a cargo jet to follow the team charter on road trips. This season alone we’ve had photos of him leaving adult establishments with ladies who did not appear to be his wife (Stray-Rod), and then his wife wearing t-shirts to Yankee Stadium emblazoned with an F-bomb (F-Rod). Jose Canseco has recently hinted that the source of Arod’s power might not be totally natural (A-Roid).

Then you have the on-going feud with the Blue Jays that led to bench-clearing brawls in a recent series and Roger Clemens getting suspended for throwing at a batter.

Player Verducci should have picked: David Wright. Wright hits for power, hits for average, is fast, is getting better in the field and is squeaky clean.

Closer: Marino Rivera, Yankees “His cutter is among the greatest pitches in history. When he's on, he's a one-pitch pitcher, but hitters still can't hit what they know is coming.”

Maybe, just maybe, this might have been justifiable in, say, 1998. But once people like Marco Scutaro start taking you deep, you can no longer make such claims. But Verducci also listed Rivera as the greatest closer of all time, which makes me think he has never heard of Dennis Eckersley and Rollie Fingers, closers who actually have things like Cy Young and MVP awards.

Player Verducci should have selected: Billy Wagner. Imagine, a closer who actually closes games.

C: Joe Mauer, Twins “Only 24, with a .316 lifetime average and .396 on-base percentage.”

You know it just killed Verducci not to pick Jorge Posada. I bet the SI editors forced him to throw some token non-Yankees on there so he could at least pretend he’s not biased. Mauer’s a nice player who probably should have won the AL MVP last year, which went to his teammate. But he seems to lack that fire a team needs in the on-field captain.

Who Verducci should have picked: Paul Lo Duca. Talk about fire! Did you see the absolutely crazed look in Paulie’s eyes when he got tossed back in July!

1B: Albert Pujols, Cardinals “Maybe the greatest start to a career in history: six straight seasons hitting .300 or better, with at least 30 homers, 100 RBIs, 100 runs and a top-four MVP finish.”

Greatest start to a career? Did he forget about Mike Vail’s 23-game hitting streak? All I know is that when the All-Star Game was on the line, Pujols’ own manager sent Aaron Rowland to the plate instead of Albert.

Who Verducci should have picked: Carlos Delgado. You know that if LaRussa had Delgado on the bench at the All-Star Game he would have called Rowland back. Carlos doesn’t even need to swing the bat to win a game. Remember his walk-off walk? That’s how good he is!


2B: Chase Utley, Phillies. “He's clearly the best second baseman in the game and getting better. His batting average has gone up four consecutive years.”

First of all, the dude’s name sounds like he would be in Neidermier’s frat in “Animal House,” and the last thing we need on the best-of-today team is some uptight preppy with easily breakable hands.

Who Verducci should have picked: Luis Castillo. How good is Castillo? In 2003, a Cubs fan had to make a choice. He could let Moises Alou catch a ball and send his beloved team to the World Series. Or, he could have a glorious piece of memorabilia, a foul ball hit by Luis Castillo. As we know, Mr. Bartman wanted that ball. And that speaks volumes about Luis Castillo.

OF: Manny Ramirez, Red Sox: “His power numbers may be down slightly this year, but he's still as pure a hitter as they come.”

Hey, we all know Manny is a hitting savant. But the guy is just plain nuts – look at the hair! – and fields even worse than Jeter. If the guy is so good, why did the Sox try to dump him to anyone who would pay his salary a few years ago. And take note, no one took him!

Who Verducci should have picked: Moises Alou. I’m not saying Alou isn’t somewhat injury prone. He misses a game or two or 30. But dude’s been a monster since returning from the DL.

OF: Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners: “A hit machine, his graceful, gliding style at bat, and in the field, is a pleasure to watch.”

Ichiro might be the luckiest All-Star Game MVP in history, reaping the rewards of the ball taking a funky hop off the outfield wall and rolling away from Ken Griffey Jr.

Who Verducci should have picked: Carlos Beltran. Beltran, when he does swing, also is a hit machine with a graceful, gliding style and is a pleasure to watch on the field. But unlike Ichiro, Beltran actually hits homers, setting the Mets franchise record last year.

OF: Vlad Guerrero, Angels: “He's the most dangerous offensive force in the game because he can hit absolutely anything and hit it hard. Guerrero is a great combination of power and hand-eye coordination.”

I guess Vlad is OK, But there must be a reason the Mets passed on him when he was a free agent.

Who Verducci should have picked: Matt Holliday, Rockies. You thought I was going to pick Shawn Green, didn’t you? Not a chance! Blindly picking players from my favorite team would make me no better than Verducci!

Rotation: Johan Santana, Twins; Roy Hallady, Blue Jays; Roy Oswalt, Astros; Jake Peavy, Padres; Justin Verlander, Tigers.

The Yankees rotation is so horrible that not even Verducci could justify picking one, though I bet his first draft had Clemens in the mix. Some of those guys are decent.

Who Verducci should have picked: I’ll grant him Santana as a decent pick. But he forgot Tom Glavine – you don’t pile up 300 wins stinking up the field – John Maine, Oliver Perez and El Duque.

Now that’s the best team of today! How Verducci draws a paycheck is a total mystery.

With Yankee lovin' Mets haters, you know what to expect

Usually, Sports Illustrated baseball writer Tom Verducci gets me pig-biting mad for his blind love for all things Yankee that clouds his judgment.

He slips it into his copy in odd little ways. In a story praising Angels prospect Howie Kendrick, Verducci slipped in that Kendrick “could be battling Robinson Cano of the Yankees for All-Star Game starting assignments and batting titles for years to come.” That’s despite the inconvenient fact that Cano has as many batting titles and All-Star Game starts as I do.

And in case you were wondering, I have none.

Then we have his partner in crime, Bob Klapisch. It’s not that Klapisch is necessarily and Yankee lover. It’s that he’s a Mets hater.

Klapisch, it seems, can’t write a grocery list without taking a cheap shot at the Metsies, much less a column or a book.

Bob’s written a bunch of tomes, all of them either ripping the Mets – like “The Worst Team Money Can Buy” – or detailing the on and off-field troubles of former Mets stars Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry.

And for a change of pace, he also writes history books about famous Mets killers, the Atlanta Braves. Then there’s “’98 Champs: The Greatest Season, a Chronicle of the Yankees’ Amazing Journey to the World Championship.”

So now that I’m aware of such things, it’s fun to read their copy to find either the over-the-top Yankee praise or the unnecessary Mets bashing.

It’s like playing a Kiss CD and waiting for them the rhyme “knees” and “please.” You know it’s going to happen. And like Kiss, Klap and the ‘Ducc never disappoint.

Klapisch got loose this week with an article that’s part of an ESPN.com series of hot people and things to look for in 2007. His task was to identify the hot division, and he chose the National League West.

Now I don’t accept his basic premise, and his main reason seems to be that a bunch of over-the-hill pitchers – some of whom are ex-Yankees – have settled there. Whatever.

But you know the Mets slams are going to be there. It’s just a matter of how far Klap will stretch to get it in. And Klap can stretch further than John Olerud snagging an errant throw from short.

Amazingly, we had to wait all the way until the fourth paragraph.

“It's enough to make you think the lure of the East is finally on the decline; (Barry) Zito turned his back on what should've been an layup courtship for the Mets…

While it's true the Giants essentially were bidding against themselves -- one AL general manager called it "madness in a market that'd already gone mad" -- Zito opted for San Francisco's familiarity over, say, New York's energy.

The implication is that the Mets blew it, as they may have done by pulling out of the ARod bidding early and trying to get Vlad Guerrero in the cheap several years ago.

But it should be noted that the Giants blew everyone out of the water with a seven-year, $126 million contract that made him the richest pitcher in history. Some have said the Giants were fools to offer that deal, and Zito would have been a bigger fool to turn it down.

Then, somehow, Klapisch shows restraint by waiting seven whole paragraphs before his next cheap swipe and comes up with this gem:

“The Phillies' acquisition of Freddy Garcia means that no one, meaning the Mets, is likely to run away with the division by June, as was the case in 2006.”

Freddy Garcia? He of the 4.53 ERA last year and the 4.01 ERA for a career? There are many reasons why the Mets might not run away with the division – again – but a middling Phillies pitcher coming over from the American League is not one of them, and certainly not the only one.

So the key is to not get all worked up when you read these guys. Like an Adam Sandler movie, you know what you’re getting into before you start. Sit back and wait for the one laugh.

Pity poor Tom Verducci, the postseason is no fun for him

I realize it seems like Yankee hack Tom Verducci can’t hit “send” on his computer without getting my goat.

But I’ve tried to contain my outbursts for the times when he really gets the whole barnyard.

Well, back up the truck because here go the goats – and the chickens, pigs and cows, too. Verducci got loose on SI.com today with a whine-o-rama about how the postseason doesn’t meet his high standards for excitement.

Here’s a sample:

"DETROIT -- Can this postseason be saved? Thanks mostly to the juggernaut known as the Detroit Tigers, who are so hot they can bat Neifi Perez second and watch Kenny Rogers become John Wayne, baseball is giving us an October with almost no drama, no moments for posterity and no storyline for the FOX people to hook the viewer who needs a reason to come to the tube. Welcome to a non-competitive October, which is the last thing we've come to expect from baseball. If the 2006 baseball playoffs were a sitcom or talk show --- hate to break it to you, folks, but we're sitting through the Arsenio Hall of postseasons -- it would have been cancelled long ago."

I think we know were Verducci’s going here. If the Yankees aren’t involved, Tommy loses interest faster than Jose Reyes racing to second base.

Sorry you're bored, Tom, because there have been some exciting, close games so far. Seriously, “Almost no drama, no moments for posterity and no storyline?”

Did he not see Paul Lo Duca tag two people at home in the same play? That was memorable

How about Frank Thomas coming to bat with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth in ALCS Game 2? Or even Big Frank launching two bombs in Game 1 of the Division Series, taking the Twins and likely Cy Young Award-winner Johann Santana out of the series?

Did he miss the Cardinals battling back and getting over on the Mets in NLCS Game 2?

How about the Tom Glavine-Jeff Weaver duel in Game 1 of the NLCS? It seemed pretty dramatic when Carlos Beltran’s blast landed a third of the way up the Shea scoreboard.

I kind of thought Carlos Delgado making the most of his first postseason was a cool storyline, especially with his monster shot against the Dodgers and two homers in Game 2 against the Cards.

The whole Yankee soap opera was entertaining for a day or two.

No, Tom’s not happy because the team he spends a career hyping couldn’t cut it this year despite spending $200 million on dysfunctional All-Stars. Tommy’s going go have to go the rest of the season without lavishing praise on Derek F. Jeter or dropping condescending smacks on Fenway grounds crew members -- "dirt tenders," in Verducci-speak.

Maybe he can take some time and go back and re-read his column from the 2004 All-Star Game when he putdown Milwaukee as some kind of hicktown undeserving of an important event. It’s never too late to apologize, Tom.

Of course, if he bemoaned having to travel to Milwaukee, I can only imagine what Verducci will have to say about Detroit.

So while Verducci laments the lack of drama, moments and storylines, I’m going to kick back and enjoy all three – because they’re all there.

Don't let Yankee-hacks ruin your morning

I was having a nice little morning. Really.

I was able to finish a big story, people in the newsroom were digging the chocolate chip cookies I baked, and it’s been a week since there has been any sign of the woodchuck that wants to burrow under my sun room.

And that’s not even counting the glorious news out of Shea about Tom Glavine’s shoulder, Shawn Green’s arrival, and the Carloses going deep early and often against the Cards on Tuesday night.

Then I started scanning one of my favorite blogs — Mikes's Mets — and he called attention to the handiwork of two vile Yankee-hacks

I expect Bob Klapisch to rip on the Mets. That’s just what he does. He’s a one-trick pony. But this column by Mike McGann posted on NY Baseball Central is completely under my skin, and if I can’t vent about it somewhere I might explode.

You can read it in its original context here.

In a nutshell, McGann says we had no business celebrating the 1986 championship Saturday night.

I must rebut on a point-by-point basis.

"So what was that celebration about, anyway?"

I suppose it was inevitable that the Mets would go nuts over the 20th anniversary of winning the World Series. As you all remember, the Yankees held a nearly week-long celebration of the 1977 World Series title by being kind enough not to win, or even play in, that year’s series — but managed to win ’96, ’98, ’99, 2000 and lost in 2001.

---- First of all, there was nothing kind about 1997. They got spanked by the Indians in the Division Series. And let’s be honest, the 1996 and 1999 championships were against the Braves, so they barely count, and the 1998 series was against the Padres, who were just happy to be there. The only one the Skanks actually earned was the one against the Mets, and that’s because Timo Perez is stupid.

"In other words, if the Yankees celebrated anniversaries of world titles, they’d pretty much be celebrating every year. As old George Steinbrenner and previous Yankee owners figured out long ago, the best way to celebrate greatness is to win even more.

The Mets have just two titles in 44 seasons (which remains better than Houston, which has none) but the Yankees have won four titles since the Mets dominated that 1986 season. So, what, exactly, are the Mets celebrating? Futility?

----Idiot. OK, that's a little harsh. But this gets my goat! The two titles are better than the Astros, but also better than the Angels, Giants, Cubs, White Sox, Mariners, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Rangers, Cubs, Red Sox, Brewers, Indians, Braves, Phillies, Devil Rays, Padres, Ex-Nats and Royals had during that same period. It’s also the same number as the Tigers, Marlins, Blue Jays, Pirates and Twins. In fact, the only teams to win more since 1962 are the Dodgers (four), Athletics (four), Cardinals (three), Reds (three), Orioles (three) and the team with the unlimited budget.

Certainly not history, as they’ve done away with Old Timers Day, Banner Day and any number of formerly annual events that meant a great deal to the fans – and for the worst of reasons: dollars. Sure, that doesn’t make them much different than other teams, but it doesn’t really play well into the whole theme of love and respect of the past.

Maybe it just seems, well, a bit unseemly, to me. Like an elaborate touchdown celebration — doesn’t it always seem classier when the running back just flips the ball to the official and acts like he scores TDs all the time? Worse, this whole celebration smacks of a way to put fannies in the seats against a Rockies’ team that didn’t figure to be much of a draw.

---- Hold on! Is he saying the Yankees are like a classy running back handing the ball to the referee? Has he ever been to Yankee Stadium? Just because you use a fancy font each of the 100 times you mention the 26 championships does not mean you are classy. The Skanks are the most arrogant, in-your-face team in sports. The stinking Nebraska Cornhuskers aspire to be as in-your-face as the Yankees.

And the most incredible part is that they’ll sit there and tell you how classy they are as they get in your face. As I posted once on www.baseballtruth.com, look at their stinking spring training site. Legends Field? Real legends don’t go around calling themselves that. You just know. If you have to say "Hi, I’m a legend," then you are not one.

And since I’m on a rant here, which legends, exactly ever set foot in that stadium? Alvaro Espinosa?

"Maybe worse, has been the hype building up to this weekend. If you caught Mets Weakly this past week, you saw SNY interview a bunch of guys about the 1986 Mets who weren’t covering baseball in 1986, offering their personal insight about that team and its personalities.

----So the Mets television network ran features about the Mets championship team the week of the celebration? What was it supposed to run, "Three's Company" reruns?

"Couldn’t they dig up some of the folks who were covering the team back in those days? Hell, I wouldn’t have even picked me, as I was only a backup writer and covered a limited number of games that season — but I can rattle off a half-dozen names of people who were with me in that locker room — and were on the road with that team.

Those would have been some interesting and wild stories, I can tell you that. I’m not a giant Marty Noble fan, as most folks know, but he was there and could have at least talked as an eyewitness about some of the more complicated interpersonal relationships on that team. An even better option would have been Howie Rose, who worked the room as a radio reporter for WHN.

Instead, we got a lot of second-hand stuff, some reasonably well-informed, granted, like the comments of Bryan Hoch, while others were just plain embarrassing and ill-informed. In some of the cases, they would have been better off randomly stopping people on the streets and asking their opinions — which they also did.

It’s too bad, too, because it’s a good tale to tell, if only they could have found someone with first-hand knowledge.

It was a complicated team, on and off the field. Lenny Dykstra really was a jerk, while Wally Backman only appeared to be — off the field, he was a straight shooter but actually, a pretty nice guy.

----- This is reporter shorthand for "Lenny wouldn’t talk to me, but Backman did after I hung around his locker for a week."

But don’t go away thinking it was a lovefest in that room — there were guys who hated each other on that team, and did little to hide it. And some guys were obsessed with hand-held computer golf — blowing off interviews to get a few holes in after games.

----- Sadly, for a lot of reporters, it’s all about them. "These guys wouldn’t talk to us, so therefore they are a bunch of jerks." Why would anyone associated with the Mets give folks like Klapisch or Verducci the time of day?

It was a volatile mix, but one that held together as long as the team won, plus or minus a fistfight or two.

And don’t think for moment, ownership wasn’t aware of it, and worried. The much calmer Kevin McReynolds showed up the next season as part of a "kinder and gentler" Mets movement that took them from World Champs to 108 losses in just seven seasons.

----- Seven seasons is a long time in baseball. Entire rosters often turn over in that time.

"This was a team intensely disliked around the league — one that was involved in four brawls on the field and more off it, sometimes with each other, sometimes, like in Houston, with off-duty cops.

------ Yankees never run into trouble with cops. Except for Billy Martin. Over and over. Heck, Yankees relief pitchers stomp on Red Sox grounds crew members with their spikes, and Yankee-apologist Verducci justifies it by condescendingly calling the grounds crew members "dirt tenders" and saying they had no right to cheer for the team that employed them.

So, in some ways, it’s kind of an insult to make it seem like some magical journey. The ’86 Mets were the GasHouse Gang of ‘80s — much like the Oakland A’s were in the 1970s — and had more in common with a biker gang than St. Francis of Assisi.

------ Maybe I’m wrong, but in the entire celebration was there even one reference to the 1986 team being a bunch of choir boys?

Maybe the most honest moment of the whole evening took place during the game when Darryl Strawberry was on SNY with Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling. Cohen guided Strawberry through an honest and revealing interview that shows how much Straw has evolved. He admitted that the guys on the team "were pond scum" and allowed that virtually all of the nasty things that have been written about that team were largely true.

----- Strawberry has evolved? Did that happen in prison or when he was a Yankee. This is a guy who until a couple days before the event was holding out for more cash.

It was another highlight for Cohen who continues to be the single best thing about SNY, a guy who never gives into the sycophant tendencies of the rest of the network’s professional voices.

------ No Yankee fan can dare call another team’s announcers sycophants for as long as Michael Kay draws a paycheck. And that’s not even counting the Francessa types who don’t even work for the team.

Darling and Hernandez have been erratic at times, although generally good. But it can be almost physically painful to listen to any other show on the network, between smarmy kiss-ups, all too frequent factual errors and technical glitches.

------ Compared to the YES Network, the bastion of good taste and fine programming.

The Mets’ decision to sign Preston Wilson tells you two things: first, that his knees really are shot, as has been wildly rumored, and second, there may be some heat to the Shawn Green rumors.

While it make sense from some standpoints, the long-term on the deal is a bit scary. And it remains to be seen whether Green is a New York kind of player. Clearly, his skills have diminished, but he would benefit from playing in a stronger lineup.

It seems like an expensive crap shoot from here.

----- First, the Mets did not sign Preston Wilson, but I'll assume that was a typo.

And no, siging a 41-year-old picher with a bad back and an even worse attitude to a huge contract is an expensive crapshoot. Green is insurance.

Wow, dude threw everything in there except for the Kazmir trade.

This guy just doesn’t get it. That 1986 season was magical for us. The post-season gave us several moments that will be discussed for as long as World Series moments are discussed. Quick, tell me a memorable play from any of those late 1990s Yankees series games. Of course you can’t.

I don’t care if the guys were a rough and tumble group. I want them to play baseball, not come over to my house for a barbecue. Outsized characters are fun to watch.

I’ll never forget that feeling when Jesse jumped and threw his glove, or when Ray Knight jumped on home plate. It made up for the down years in the late 1970s, the donkey mascot — but not quite the trade of Seaver, some wounds never quite heal.

Through dominance in the regular season and a little amazin’ magic in the postseason, we were on top of the baseball world for a year. And twenty years later, it’s still something to celebrate.

And then you have this crap from Klapisch. I’ll offer just a snippet:

But if Glavine needs the kind of surgery that Cone ultimately required, his season is history. And maybe the Mets' postseason hopes head for the ash-heap, too.

It's hard to imagine the Mets surviving Glavine's absence in October, not with Pedro Martinez having turned into a six-inning pitcher (when he's not on the DL). Losing Glavine wouldn't just decimate the rotation, it would puncture the Mets' psychologically, too.

He's classy, trustworthy, as stand-up as Paul Lo Duca is sleazy. The parallel between Glavine and the Yankees-era Cone is so strong, the repeat of history is almost too surreal to believe.

---- One could point out that the Yankees have an entire rotation of six-inning pitchers, except for Carl Pavano, who doesn’t pitch at all.

But Paul LoDuca is sleazy? Are you kidding me. The Yankees have players linked to the steroids scandal -- on-field cheating -- and I don’t ever once recall seeing Klapisch call them sleazy.

LoDuca owns races horses. He bets on them legally. He has some marital issues, but many people do. At least he didn’t swap wives like two Yankees did in the 1970s. That was sleazy.