"Believe me, Rick Perry is a leftist mole, a crypto-liberal,

a one-man sleeper cell, a terror baby from the 1950s!"

Insanitized for Your Protection

Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #12

Imagine terminal stage gas gangrene. That would be

Tom Tancredo, racist xenophobe.

"John McCain," Tom Tancredo was saying, "is not a very

pleasant person. He is nasty, mean; the skin of an onion

would look deep compared to his. He has a short fuse,

he is almost peculiarly unstable." That's when, witnesses

say, McCain ripped Tancredo's lungs out.

Markos the Magnificent Makes Tom Tancredo Disappear

Tom Tancredo Reportedly Suffering from

Post-Moulitsas Stress Disorder

"Mr. Tancredo, were you born a creep,
or did you have to learn to be one?"

Karate Kid wannabe Marcus Epstein is half Korean and
half Jewish. Nonetheless, he is strongly predisposed
against immigrants and minorities. Not surprisingly,
he works for both Tom Tancredo and Pat Buchanan,
two of the highest-profile xenophobes and racists in
the land. No wonder Marcus uses the N-word freely
on the streets of Washington, DC, and would deport
Mr. Miyagi back to Okinawa, if he hadn't died in 2005.

"Some of your friends in the Mafia, Mr. Tancredo, say that
you don't know that 'wop' spelled backwards is 'pow'. Is this
true, or are all those Eyetalian pasta chompers just
unfairly stereotyping you?"

Residents of Brownsville, Texas, Propose Simple,

One-Step Immigration Reform Plan:

Build a Wall Around Tom Tancredo

Tom Tancredo Drops Out of Presidential Race,

Says He's Still in the Race for Outer Space

Tom Tancredo, Republican Eliminationist, Hires Illegal

Immigrants to Renovate His Commodious McMansion

Tom Tancredo warns that unless he is elected President of the

United States, he will take revenge on America by refusing

to run for re-election to the House of Representatives.

Congressman Changes Name to 'Jefferson Smith'; Says

'Tom Tancredo' Made Him Sound Like an Immigrant

Representative Tom Tancredo (R-CO) was the only Republican

presidential candidate to address the NAACP Annual Convention

in Detroit. All the other candidates were too busy appeasing the

Republican Party's white rightist base to attend.

Tom Tancredo apparently only has a problem with aliens

from Mexico, not from Outer Space.

Tower of Babel Collapses; Congressman Tom Tancredo

Thought to Be Buried in Multicultural Rubble

''Look at what has happened to Miami,'' said Tom Tancredo.

"It has become a Third World country, and I have become a

First World nincompoop."

As you might expect, Tom Tancredo's favorite

game bird is the Mexican Jay.

There are now 300 million people living in the U. S.

But it takes only one Tom Tancredo to make it full.