"Dusty Foggo, a former high-ranking CIA official, has been

sentenced to more than three years in prison for a fraud

scheme in which he steered procurement contracts to an

old friend. His sentence might have been lighter if all of his

good deeds over the years hadn't been classified Top Secret."

As Dusty Foggo, former #3 man in

the CIA, can tell you, 'procurement'

is a term best used in only two

contexts: illicit sex and defense

contracts.

Dusty Foggo, former Executive Director of the CIA,

has copped a plea. In exchange for pleading guilty

to one charge of wire fraud, 27 other counts against

him were dropped. As an avid poker player, Dusty

always knew when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

Brent Wilkes, convicted today on 13 felony counts,

had been warned by President Eisenhower about

the dangers of the Military-Industrial Complex.

But he just wouldn't listen.

Why There Are Lawyer Jokes

Of the $5,000 Brent Wilkes gave him,

Brant "Nine Fingers" Bassett spent

almost all of it at the Lollipop Motel.

Representative John Doolittle (on the left)

and his wife, Julie (on the right), were 
delighted by the advance screening of

Planet of the Japes, starring Brent 
Wilkes, Ed Buckham, and Jack Abramoff.