So, I Have A Project...

Cleaning out my father-in-law's house last weekend, I inherited a project:

1974 Honda CB360. Father-in-law bought it new. I'm the second owner. It hasn't run in the time I've known my wife, so it's been dormant since the early 1990s at the latest. Probably mid-1980s, if I were a betting man. It lived under the porch at the old house (in-laws moved about 10 years ago) and in a shed at the new house, so it has been protected as long as I've known it.

I'm trying to decide whether I want to have it professionally restored or work on it myself. A co-worker who's into motorcycles brought up a good point: it's a 41-year old motorcycle. If I ride it, there's a good chance it will break down. If I do the work myself, I'll be better prepared to fix the little things to get it back on the road. On the flip side, there's a very good chance it will sit in the corner of the garage for the next decade while I work up the courage to work on it.

I've described myself as "mechanically declined," only half-jokingly. I can assemble furniture from IKEA with the best of them, and I've built my own ARs plenty, but when it comes to engines I just panic. I can change oil (although I don't) and perform the most basic of maintenance, but in general I prefer to let the professionals handle such things. Part of it is time-related: there just aren't enough hours in a day. I know myself; I'll put it off as long as possible.

In any case, it will be restored as best as possible. The body is in surprisingly good shape; it needs new tires, of course; the exhaust is rotted out; but the tank is solid. It looks like it won't take much to get it cosmetically back together. I might get the motor restored and running professionally but do the wiring/brake/exhaust work myself. We'll see.

Any and all tips on restoring 40-year old Japanese motorcycles would be appreciated...

That is all.

Shortest. Ride. Ever.

So, yesterday afternoon I decided to take the Harley out for a quick spin. Got the lawn mowed, shrubberies trimmed, laundry done, errands run, and it was time to feel the wind in my hair. Err, mustache.

I made it as far as the end of my subdivision when this happened:

That's what an Acura TSX looks like after it's rolled over after failing to negotiate a 90º turn at a high rate of speed (60 MPH+ in a 45 MPH zone). He clipped the traffic island and rolled twice, coming to a rest on its wheels after at least twice. He made a right turn from a travel lane, cutting someone off in the process (one of the other witnesses thinks he was racing the other car).

I was sitting on my Harley at this stop sign when all this went down:

He missed me by *maybe* 2 or 3 feet. Had I been in the truck, he'd have hit me right about dead center of the bed. Almost certainly totaled the truck, and I'd have at least gone to the hospital for observation. Had he been half a second sooner, he'd have hit me on the Harley, in which case I'd be having breakfast with my grandfather right now instead of posting this.


I remember sitting at the stop sign watching the traffic. The road perpendicular to the stop sign has two travel lanes and a right turn lane coming up to that intersection. I saw a car in the right turn lane, then I saw the Acura roar around him and try to take the corner. I heard him clip the curb, and then the car was airborne.

RIGHT. BEHIND. ME.

I'm not exaggerating when I saw he missed me by a couple feet at most. I watched the car hit the grass to my right and roll over again. I saw the airbags, deployed, as the car was still rocking on the shocks. At first I just rolled on the throttle, but turned around at the next intersection to be a witness. A crowd had gathered, 911 had been called, and as I rolled the bike to a stop I could hear sirens off in the distance.

Every day is a gift. First thing I did when I got home was hug my family. I'm fighting *REALLY* hard not to put a "For Sale" sign on the Harley. This is my second close call. Back about 20 years ago, I got T-boned by a kid who didn't realize that his side street ended at the state highway I was traveling on. I went through six months of physical therapy, and dealt extensively with insurance companies over whether my car was totaled or not.

I had planned on taking my motorcycle that night. Circumstances changed my plans so that I took my car instead. Now, had I been on the bike, much would have been different. The extra time I'd have needed to put on helmet and leathers might have meant I got stuck in traffic as a wrecker extracted his car from the house across the street. Or I might have left earlier, as I had done laundry at my folks' house, which obviously I'd not have done had I been on the bike.

There were enough "what-ifs" that I was able to get back on the bike. Eventually.

Not so sure about this time, though.

That is all.

I'm Not Dead Yet...

...It just kinda seems like it sometimes...

Folks, I need to address something. Something serious to me. Something that pains me very much to do. Something I've dragged my feet on doing for quite some time now.

I have to call out some of my fellow motorcyclists.

First off, what in blue blazes are these idiots thinking that drag their feet along the ground at low speed? What, exactly, are you hoping to do? Break your ankle? That's the only thing I can think of that you'll accomplish by dragging a foot or, worse, both feet as you leave a stopped position (or worse, slowing to a stop).

Secondly, I had the most unsettling experience with a motorcyclist the other day. I'm turning left behind this guy on a small bike, maybe a 250. He gets into the right turn lane and is putting along. As I pass him, he drifts over DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME.

I jackrabbit into the left lane (thank goodness for large mirrors!) and accelerate around him, at which point he cranks the throttle and tries to keep up with me. Seriously? You're on a 300 pound motorcycle, you just cut off a 3 ton truck, and you're going to play chicken with me? Fortunately I got around him (a little bike carrying a large person just doesn't have the torque), but it really messed with my head.

When I'm riding, my head is on a swivel big time. I'm scanning four or five cars down the road to see if anyone is hitting their brakes, I'm constantly looking to my left and right for anyone that might drift into me, I'm checking out all possible angles of escape should things go bad. What I DON'T do is change lanes blindly without signaling or looking, and when I f**k up and cut someone off I don't challenge them. Things would have turned out VERY bad for our two-wheeled friend had I either not had good reflexes or decided he was going to lose the game of chicken.

Respect is a two-way street. I try really hard not to tailgate bikes and give them plenty of room. It's hard enough with people who are clueless at best and malevolent at worst on the road, but to be so oblivious? There's a guy who's going to wind up in a YouTube compilation some day.

Lastly, weaving in and out of traffic is a dick move. You're a dick when you do it in a car; you're a suicidal dick when you do it on a motorcycle. One pissed off motorist and you're road pizza while the car has to have a fender repainted. It's dumb. It's unsafe. It's also illegal, and when you're weaving in and out of traffic like you're rounding the curves at the Isle of Mann TT, all people see is a dick on a bike. They're going to keep that impression when they see the retiree on the Goldwing or me on my Harley.

Okay. Glad I got that off my chest...

That is all.

Talk Me Out of It...

As much as I love the concept of the Elio, I keep seeing delays on the rollout and am starting to have doubts as to whether we'll ever see an actual vehicle. Don't get me wrong; I would love to own one, as I think it's about as perfect a vehicle as I'm likely to find for my commute: high gas mileage, able to use the HOV lane, storage for items for going back and forth to work; it's really just about the perfect *second* vehicle for me. I can keep the (paid for) Earthf**ker longer and bang the Elio back and forth to work M-F. At under $7K, I can almost buy one cash, too.

You know what they say about something sounding too good to be true, right?

So, I started looking. And man, if the Polaris Slingshot doesn't look appealing...

It's considered a motorcycle, so I can still take the HOV lane. It's sporty and can take a passenger with much greater ease than a motorcycle. With the windscreen, it can handle most inclement weather, and with the recumbent seating position it's easier to add layers in the cooler months. Plus, 173 horsepower in a vehicle weighing 1,600 pounds has got to move pretty good. And it's a 5-speed.

The downsides are pretty steep, though. The price, for starters: $23K for the version with the windshield and sound system. That's more than 3X the price of the Elio. It's not enclosed, meaning that winter driving and moderate rains are also out. The closest dealer is 20 miles away, which isn't a huge deal, but it's still far less convenient than the Honda dealer 5 miles out. There's also no stats on the gas mileage, which is pretty important to me - if it only gets 20 MPG around town (the bulk of my driving), then I might as well drive the Dodge.

But damn, that's a sweet looking ride...

That is all.

Brotherhood of the Bike

So, yesterday, after the errands were done and the chores were completed, I found myself with a little "me" time. Naturally, that meant a ride.

After dropping a not-inconsequential amount on new tires/brakes/tune-up (needed and overdue in the case of the tires, but still...), I decided it was time to put some more miles on the Harley. I'm still exploring the new area, so I've been keeping somewhat close to home for the time being. As I explore more and more, and widen my circle, I venture and further...

But I digress.

I don't know if it's the longer riding season, or just that people are friendlier down here, but *everyone* waves to their fellow biker. Up in MA, maybe half would wave back on a good day. Sometimes as low as a quarter. Down here, though, it's north of 90%. Sometimes I'm not even the first to wave.

And no, I don't wave only to Harley riders. Sportbikes, Goldwings, Beamers, heck, I've been known to wave at riders on larger scooters. Even the goofy-looking Can-Ams will get a wave. "If you're behind handlebars, I'll wave" is my general belief, and since we're all in this together, quibbling over something as silly as brand is pointless.

We're all brothers - and sisters - in the saddle.

That is all.

Ironically, This Makes It Better...

A friend posted this video on Facebook, with a comment that this sort of thing was the reason he prefers a car.



The first time I watched, I only made it about a quarter of the way through the video, it was so painful. It wasn't so much the crashes, but that nearly all of them were absolutely avoidable. There were certainly a few where the motorcyclist was doing everything right and safe and got hit, and I genuinely feel bad for them. What makes this especially ironic is I watched this video after I got back from a quick motorcycle ride (I have ridden at least once every month since I've been in VA with my bike).

But the VAST majority, the motorcyclists were going WAY too fast, lane-splitting, passing on the right, or otherwise acting in a manner that contributed to the crash. I went so far as to watch the video very carefully, and broke down the first ten crashes:

1. Hard to tell, but the bike comes flying in from the left side of the screen, across the car with the camera into the minivan.
2. Yes, the car turned left in front of the bike, but the bike was going WAAAAAY too fast - the car with the camera had plenty of time to react without incident.
3. Again, yes, the truck cut across the lane, but look at the bike disintegrate. WAY too fast for a city street.
4. Lane splitting at high speed and hits a pedestrian.
5. *****WAAAAAAYYYYY***** too fast and hit a kid in a crosswalk. I hope he went down hard.
Note: Yes, the kids came out into the crosswalk kind of fast, but he absolutely should have seen them coming. Rule #1 on a motorcycle is that you are ALWAYS scanning for things that can come running out from the side. It's one of the nice things about riding on highways. 
6. Bike turned left into oncoming traffic. Bad move when outmassed 10:1...
7. Car turning left VERY slowly, stopped at times, and bike comes FLYING in. Bike actually drives THROUGH a crowd of pedestrians.
8. Bike going, again, WAY too fast and can't react to the car turning. AGAIN, we see the car with the dashcam NOT having to slam on their brakes for the turning vehicle, indicating that the bike's extreme speed caused the crash.
9. Bike PLOWS into the back of the car. Duh.
10. Bike going what really appears to be the WRONG WAY around a rotary.

Excessive speed, lane splitting, and just plain not paying attention. This repeats throughout the video. It's even hard to fault the cars that turned left in front of some of these bikes, because the bikes were going so fast.  Look, I've *had* people turn left in front of me. I avoided crashing because I was paying attention and watching them long before they actually made the turn. Yes, it can and does happen that someone on a bike is just riding along when some jack@$$ in a car blithely turns in front of them. There were precious few of that sort of wreck in this video.

Bottom line, don't play stupid games and you stand a good chance of not winning stupid prizes...

That is all.

Last Ride of the Season... Maybe.

Last year, my first winter in VA, we had uncharacteristically cold and snowy weather. I had put the Harley into storage in New Hampshire (at the dealership where it had been stored the past 10 winters) with the idea of getting it out once we had arrived in VA and gotten the move sorted, etc. It was shipped down in April once the snow was long gone and I enjoyed a longer riding season over the summer.

Riding in VA is different than New England. There were days in July and August where I took the Harley to work and the ride home was darn near unpleasant - 90 degree weather and stop-and-go traffic on an air-cooled motorcycle is a recipe for burnt thighs. But the season starts much earlier and ends later - or, as I've found out this month, doesn't really end at all.

New Year's Day I got together with a co-worker who rides for a New Year's blast through north-central VA. We put about 50 - 60 miles on the clock in ~ 35º weather before the extremities started squawking. And this past weekend, after a hectic week at SHOT Show, I looked at the thermometer, figured it was warm enough for a ride, and put a couple dozen miles on around the block (I didn't go that far because the roads were wet and had sand and salt in spots; Mrs. G. didn't raise any dummies).

Even if I don't get out until spring, that's mid-March, meaning the season only ends for three months (really more like two and half). Considering that up in MA the season really didn't start until mid-April, and ended at the end of October, this is a welcome change. While it might be too hot to ride sitting in traffic, on weekends and on less-traveled roads, it really never gets too hot to ride - and I invested in a good "warm weather" jacket so I'm always covered.

There's an awful lot to like about living in Free American, South...

That is all.

Birth of an American Icon

A co-worker, knowing how I am about motorcycles, sent this story in about a uniquely American icon.

Behind The Motorcycles In 'Easy Rider,' A Long-Obscured Story

On Oct. 18, the Calabasas, Calif.-based auction house Profiles In History will auction off what it says is the last authentic motorcycle used in the filming of 1969's Easy Rider, and what some consider the most famous motorcycle in the world.

Peter Fonda, who played Wyatt in the Dennis Hopper-directed film, rode the so-called "Captain America" bike, named for its distinctive American flag color scheme and known for its sharply-angled long front end.

This bike:

It's hard to imagine a more American motorcycle, isn't it? The motorcycle-as-American-icon took root in the post-WWII era, as American GIs returned home and celebrated surviving the war by hitting the open road. Motorcycle clubs turned into motorcycle gangs (mostly as a popular culture thing, as the average American was in more danger from meteors than biker gangs) in the 1950s, and then the tune-in, turn-on, drop-out counter culture of the '60s really brought it into full swing.

And little more exemplifies that spirit than Easy Rider, a buddy film about two societal outcasts finding America on a cross-country motorcycle ride. Our heroes - anti-heroes, really, in the best tradition of James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Clint Eastwood - defy convention and authority, and what better way to do that than on a customized Harley Davidson.

From a motorcyclist standpoint, the Captain America chopper touches on many things that bikers find themselves in trouble with the law over: handlebar height, lack of front fender, noise. It's a moving violation standing still, which is an impressive feat unto itself. Everything about this bike screams "bad boy" - which is why three of the four motorcycles built for the movie disappeared before the movie debuted...

I understand the appeal, but a cool million - or more - is a bit steep for my taste...

That is all.

Not QUITE It...

Saw this the other day. It's not what I'm looking for, but it's still pretty damn neat.

Polaris Slingshot.

(I linked to the "Customize" section because the main section is some autoplay bulls**t.)

Now, it's slick-looking as hell. With a 173 horsepower, 2.4L engine coupled to a five-speed manual transmission-and a dry weight of only 1700 pounds-I suspect it ought to move pretty well (I thought I saw a 0-60 time of 6 seconds, but I can't confirm. If that's the case, it's rather disappointing - the Mustang 5.0 could do that in the late 1980s). With rear wheel drive and a near-perfect weight distribution, I'll bet it handles like a dream.

But it has drawbacks, and lots of them. First and foremost, the price. $24K, not counting extras, and it's not even covered. Second, since it's an open cockpit design, it requires a helmet in most states that mandate them for motorcycles. Third, I mentioned the open cockpit - kinda negates the year-round aspect if you're going to freeze in the winter and drown in the rain. There's a disturbing lack of specs - I don't see the 0-60 times nor the fuel economy listed. I would imagine both would be robust, but still...

For my needs, the Slingshot doesn't work.

Now, if you think it's cool, and you want something different than the Camaro convertible that set your 50-something neighbor back $45K, this may very well be it. I'm sure it's got power in spades and can carve corners like there's no tomorrow. The minimalist roadster look means you'll spend a lot less time washing it, and with the windscreen and low profile, even if you are out in the rain, it won't be that bad. At $24K, it's moderately cheap for a mid-life crisis sports car, and it has the cachet of being much different than the Mustang or Corvette.

But again, this is not what I am looking for. If I wanted something that moved and handled well but still got me wet in the rain, I'd get a Ducati or CBR at half the price. The beauty of the Elio is that I can drive it year-round and in the rain - oh, and I can buy a new one, with a three year warranty, for less than the price of a decent used car. Is that worth risking a less-than-carlike safety rating? Heck yeah. I ride an actual motorcycle. I know risk.

The Slingshot is cool as heck, but I'll wait a bit longer for my Elio...

That is all.

I'm In.

Concrete proof I want in on this whole Elio thing.

Those who have submitted their deposits no doubt know what this is. It's the official membership into the Elio cult, the few of us (over 26,000 have put down deposits so far) that hope this becomes a reality. The proverbial friend-of-a-friend rumor mill puts the car's release in the earlier part of 2015 (reports are mixed; some say March, some say September. I've come to accept that if it's something I want, the later date is usually correct).

I still love the concept. The more I read about it, the more I like it - AC and power windows and door lock (note the singular) are standard; AM/FM stereo as well, but the jury's out on whether it will have an AUX jack for the iPod (NOTE: THAT WOULD BE GOOD). The big question for me is whether I spring for the automatic transmission or not. With the traffic on 66 the auto would be a benefit; if the mileage estimates are close I might get it. Or I might get the stick shift because I haven't driven one in close to 20 years...

The mileage. Hoo boy. 49 MPG city, 84 MPG highway. I think the 84 might be a little optimistic, in that even 500cc motorcycles barely get that, and they're a lot smaller and lighter; the 49 MPG city is probably close. It's a small, light vehicle with a small engine. I can see it being economical. Here's the killer, though. I was running the math with the Mrs., explaining that the Elio literally pays for itself:

Weekly commute: 200 miles.
Truck MPG in traffic: 14 MPG (this is optimistic, BTW)
Elio MPG (est.): 49 MPG

Gallons of gas used per week in Dodge: 14.29
Gallons of gas used per week in Elio: 4.08
Gas savings: 10.2 gallons a week, or $35.74 with gas at $3.50/gallon.

That's nearly $150 a month in straight gasoline savings. If I finance the Elio over two years, that's half the payment. If I keep the Elio four years I've broken even just in gas savings alone. Heck, there's one less tire to replace, so it'll save money... :) The Elio is one case where the math really does add up.

There's another benefit, though. Since the Elio is technically a motorcycle, I can drive it in the less-used HOV lane. Since it's heated, cooled, and enclosed, I can drive it year-round regardless of weather. I can cart stuff back and forth to work in it without worrying if it will fit in a saddlebag. And, most importantly, it saves commuting wear and tear on both the Earthf**ker and the Harley. With the Elio taking the commuting task from the Dodge, I can hold onto my paid-for truck for a long time.

As long as the claims being made about the Elio regarding gas mileage and price are valid (or at least close), I can't wait to bring one home!

That is all.

A Bacon-Fueled Hog...

My brother-from-another-mother Mopar hipped me to this last night on Facebook. I am officially agog.

Driven By Bacon

We built the world's first bacon fueled motorcycle. Because we are #DrivenByBacon.

They built a motorcycle.

With a diesel engine.

That runs on bacon grease.

(bonus points if you heard that as "You built a time machine? Out of a DeLorean?")

It's a good lookin' bike, too:

Why can't I get this out of my head:



Diesel motorcycle. Whatever will they think of next? Apparently they've been around for about a decade now, so it's not brand new, but pretty recent. If I were a betting man, I'd say that motorcycles are generally so good on gas that the ROI on a diesel engine isn't great enough to warrant much investment.

Although I do really like their graphic on how the bike is fueled...

That is all.

Damn Bikers...

They're never up to any good. Like, you know, helping a guy propose to his girlfriend.



I haven't the faintest idea what any of this is about, since the video is in Russian, but given the change in music from Rammstein to some vaguely pop, it seems like that's the cue for the switch.

It's nice to see a Russian video involving motorcycles that doesn't end with biker parts all over the road...

That is all.

Um, No.

A WHOLE bunch of people sent this to me. I am not a fan.

Harley-Davidson’s First Electric Motorcycle Surprisingly Doesn’t Suck

Harley-Davidson is more than a motorcycle, or even a brand. It is an icon, one that brings to mind big, loud bikes ridden by burly men with tattoos and beards. The company has long been known for rumbling V-twin engines and the open road. All of which makes the idea of an electric Harley seem downright absurd.

It’s actually pretty cool.

Now, I've covered electric motorcycles before, specifically the Zero. I've actually seen one here in NoVA, and while it is a very slick looking bike, it is both too expensive (compared to conventional gasoline-powered bikes) and WAY too quiet. People tend to not see motorcycles on a good day; take the "vroom vroom" out of the equation and you couldn't *give* me an electric motorcycle.

But talk about misreading your customer base...

While it may sound like a great idea for Harley - arguably the most recognizable name in motorcycles - to champion the electric-powered motorcycles, it ignores a fundamental tenet: Harley exists because its customers want their products. I ride a Harley. I chose it over a Honda - which I will admit is a superior motorcycle - because nothing sounds or rides like a Harley. Hondas are nice, don't get me wrong (I've owned one), but there's just something about a big, honkin' piece of American iron.

Now, turn that hunk of American iron into a small, lightweight motorcycle. Strike one. Make it quiet. Strike two. Then give it a range of about 100 miles - with an hour or more before you could ride it again. Strike three. These are not the features that Harley Davidson are known for. This is a great commuter bike. Harleys are not great commuter bikes. Harleys are meant for throwing your leg over one and putting 200+ miles on it in a day. It's not meant for short blasts back and forth to work.

I hope it does well - a rising tide raises all boats, yadda yadda yadda - but I'm not holding my breath.

That is all.

So, Talk Me Out Of It...

With the recent excitement over the Harley, one thing because crystal clear. Commuting back and forth to work on a full-sized touring motorcycle is less-than-optimal. Big bikes are, as I found out, harder to maneuver, harder to back into parking spots, etc. Plus my current ride uses premium gas and only gets ~ 35 MPG in a mix of city and highway riding. Add into that the toll that the ethanol blend gas takes on the older engine, and I've been thinking about adding another bike.

Why not a small bike?

Kawasaki Ninja 300.

Yeah, I know. It'll be wound up on the highway, I understand that. But the interstate I take rarely hits full cruising speed during the week days, so it's really not that big of a concern that I can't cruise at 75 on a 300. The mileage is radically different, too - the Ninja 300 gets something like 68 MPG highway. And it weighs literally half what the Harley weighs. MSRP is $4,999; I suspect it's a bit less on the floor - plus you can find barely used specimens even cheaper...

Honda CBR250R.

Only slightly smaller is the CBR250R, which retails for $4,199 and gets 77 MPG. One of the advantages of getting a 250 or 300 vs a 600 or 750 is that I won't be tempted to really wind it up on the highway or get stupid on the twisties. It's a small, economical bike that happens to partially resemble a sportbike. But not really.

And yes, I understand. I will spend more by purchasing a second, newer bike than I'll save in gas. This is more to spare wear & tear on the Harley, which I would like to reserve for actual touring rather than the daily grind of commuting. Given the tantalizing HOV lane, I would much rather take the motorcycle than the truck when possible - and so far this year, I've ridden to work four times. I've had the Harley down here for a month. I rode to work maybe once or twice a year in MA....

Finding a used bike, especially something in the 500 - 650cc class, worries me. It's just big enough that someone might have really gotten it sideways before deciding to sell - or just have thrashed the living daylights out of it before going with a larger bike. The price on the new, small bikes are quite enticing, and getting something with fuel injection is very appealing (no more choke! YAY!).

It's just a thought; I may get through the season with the Harley and see what deals can be had in October...

That is all.

The Importance of Everything...

I was originally going to title this post "The Importance of Gear," except that it's about more than gear. It's about mindset. It's about paying attention to things, and devoting full attention to dangerous tasks that demand full attention.

Long story short: I went down on the Harley.

Now, I'll start by saying I'm fine, and the Harley is fine. Minimal scratches, no engine or significant body damage. I managed to bruise the living hell out of my foot, but otherwise no other physical issues for me.

What happened, you ask? I got complacent. 

I backed the Harley out of the garage too fast; I didn't have my hand resting on the brake like I should have, and when I reached for the brake it threw my balance off just enough that the bike fell over. It happened in super slow-motion - I knew the bike was going over, and I was utterly powerless to stop it. It's a scary, scary feeling.

Electra Glides are heavy. 750 pounds empty, and mine wasn't empty. The back crash guards took the brunt of the crash, with the left saddlebag getting a tiny bit scratched up at the very bottom. It's no worse than the right one's lid where Baby Girl G. has kicked it a few times.

The line they tell you about leveraging your body and leaning way over to right the bike? That's all well and good - until you're trapped under it. You see, the front engine guard never hit the ground. It landed on my left foot, trapping it between the guard and the ground. It was both painful and terrifying at the same time.

Managed to push the bike up enough so that I freed my foot, then took stock of the situation. The rear crash guard took the brunt of the impact (and my foot), and was scuffed - but that's what it's for. The rear saddlebag has some very minor (and barely noticeable) scuffs, but I'm not even sure they're from this incident. No leaks or other issues mechanically - I even rode it to work and back with no problems, once I got it righted.

As for that (righting it), well, I remembered from my MSF course about how you should go to the opposite side and use leverage. Um, yeah. That ... didn't work. I wound up just grabbing the passenger grab bar and the front crash bar and muscling the bike upright. My back might stop protesting next month...

What I did wrong was several-fold. First and foremost, I didn't dedicate sufficient attention to the task at hand. I was jugging backing out of the garage, holding onto a helmet, and holding the garage door opener in my hand to close the garage once I was out (I am HORRIBLY OCD about the garage door being left up). Secondly, I did NOT have my hand on the brakes to slow my egress from the car hole.

What *should* I have done differently? Helmet on, garage door opener in a pocket, and worry about everything else once the bike was out of the garage and on flat ground. Right hand on brake lever at all times.

What did I do right? Well, for starters, I had the right gear. Magnum Boots rock, y'all. Secondly, I kept my cool - first thing I did was shut off the bike to prevent things from going further south. And I listened to the little voice inside my head that said "Get your foot checked out by a doctor" - as it turns out, nothing was broken, just bruised. I'm leaving on Thursday for an NRA Outdoors long-range rifle clinic in Wyoming and I was all kinds of worried that I broke my foot.

So, to recap: Good gear is good. Paying f**king attention is better. Listening to that little voice inside your head? Priceless. 

And remember: Gravity isn't just a good idea, it's the law...

That is all.

I Applaud The *Concept*...

Sent in via Facebook friend Ken O.

Zero Motorcycles.

2014 Zero SR

Not a bad looking motorcycle, I'll admit. 171 mile range*. 0-60 MPH in 3.3 seconds.

There's only two problems:

1. It is far too quiet. Go to one of the videos on the site and listen to it - it sounds like a remote control car. People have a hard enough time with gasoline powered motorcycles; I would be afraid to ride that in traffic.

2. The bike pictured is $17,000. With the *extra battery that brings the total range to 171 miles, the cost is $19,500.

Now...

This bike:

is a Kawasaki Ninja 650. It gets 50 MPG and has a 4.2 gallon tank. It will do 0-60 MPH in 4.3 seconds.

It costs $7,700.

Is the electric bike worth $10K more? That's a value judgement, up to the individual. From a purely financial standpoint, it's hard to justify the Zero SR. A marginal increase in performance, combined with overall lower cost of operation, do not in my mind add up to sufficient incentives to overcome the short range, danger of zero noise, and hefty extra cost.

Not to mention it doesn't even have dual front brakes.

The Kawasaki is $10K less (more than $12K if you're talking the extra battery for the Zero), is only slightly slower off the line, and can travel further on a tank of gas than the Zero can on a charge even with the extended pack. Even with the Fast Charge system (which costs $1800 and is something you'd have in your garage, not out on the road), it takes an hour to charge the Zero back up. That 171 miles turns into less than 90 when run on the highway, too - meaning that you have a realistic range of maybe 50 highway miles before you have to turn around.

And that doesn't even take into the equation if you have a passenger.

Again, I like the concept. I think that motorcycles are infinitely more ready for electric motors than automobiles. They're smaller, lighter, and typically run in weather conditions more favorable for optimum battery life. It's just incredibly hard to justify nearly triple the cost for a marginal increase in performance and less maintenance and operation costs.

Now, in all fairness, I did compare the top-of-the-line Zero to a lower-mid-range Kawasaki. A high-end Ducati superbike is more expensive than the Zero, true - but then again, no one compares a Toyota Prius to a Lamborghini, either. All but the most exotic sportbikes or tricked out cruisers are going to be less than the Zero; the lower-range Ninja was the closest in size and performance I could think of.

A for Effort, D for Execution, in my opinion.

That is all.

Faster Than A Speeding... Bullet?

Aw, man, I hate it when I distract myself...

A couple weeks back, the Harley arrived and I got her all registered and ready to ride (I got one short ride in, then it rained and I went to Indy. Current forecast is rain until some bearded dude builds a large boat...) The more I think about taking it back and forth to work, the less I like the idea - I'd rather save the mileage and wear-and-tear on a 100th Anniversary bike.

So I hit Craigslist, curious to see what might be available in the neighborhood. Figured I'd see what was around for ~ 500 cc bikes in the sub-$5K price range. Interestingly enough, there's a handful of Buell Blasts available:

as well as a few Kawasaki Ninja 500s:

Then I stumbled across a new Royal Enfield Bullet. And was tempted to hit the Royal Enfield website, where I found this:

Royal Enfield Classic Chrome. MSRP is $5600, new, with a 2 year unlimited warranty. Oh, and the gas mileage is expected to be somewhere in the 70s - as in MPG. Um, boy, yeah.

The Enfield, though, ignores the spirit of what I was looking for, which is an inexpensive, reliable bike that I could bang back and forth to work in all sorts of weather. Sure, it's easy to take the Harley when it's 80 degrees and sunny, but if it's cloudy with a chance of rain I'd rather it stay in the garage. There's also the matter of if I get serious about bike commuting (which, given the traffic I face and the tantalizing prospect of using the HOV lane), do I really want to put over a thousand miles a month on the Harley just going back and forth to work? Or would it be better served adding those miles on touring my new state's countryside...

Decisions, decisions...

That is all.

Loud Pipes...

In the motorcycle world, there are certain polarizing arguments (sound familiar?).

• American vs. Metric.
• Lid vs. no lid.
• Cruiser vs. sportbike.
• Full gear vs.jacket and boots.
• Squids vs. tourers.

Perhaps the most vitriol-inducing of all, though, is the "loud pipes save lives" vs. "loud pipes lose rights" crowds. One side believes that, as motorcyclists that are often missed by four-wheeled vehicle drivers, we need every advantage we can get to make ourselves more visible. A loud, rumbling scoot, they argue, is not only visibly but audible.

The other side points out that, for the most part, people are completely clueless idiots that routinely ignore police sirens and train crossings. Add to that mix luxury cars that tout noise cancellation as a selling point, and it's doubtful whether anything less than a 747 under full take-off would get their attention.

Obviously, I'm asking for a reason. The Harley's hitting her eleventh season now, and I've replaced the battery twice and she's going to need new tires soon. I'm figuring it's probably time to start thinking about replacing the exhaust, and I'll most likely upgrade at that time. Now, I am *definitely* not going for a bone-shakingly loud set-up - I enjoy riding long distances too much to increase the decibel level that much.

But man, I'd like a little more rumble in my ride...

(Picture courtesy of the lovely Cher)

I'm hoping to get a couple more years out of the factory pipes, then replace them before they start to get too bad. Ideally, I'd love something with just a little more of a growl, but that evens out at mid-range RPMs (like 2500 - 3500, or cruising speed on the highway). I've lost enough hearing to know I don't want anything that loud.

As far as I can tell, VA law requires mufflers, but has no acoustic criteria. Some states, like, oh, Massachusetts, only allow factory exhaust or the equivalent. Anything louder is verboten. I'm also running into a similar conundrum with the Earthf**ker, for what it's worth. I'll most likely find a local shop and see what's recommended.

In any case, it's a good place to be...

That is all.

I Need The Harley Back...

Because last night, flush with the knowledge that we were getting a decent sized tax refund this year, I made the fatal mistake of looking at used bikes on Craigslist...

A 1977 Goldwing for $350? Sounds legit. Something tells me it doesn't look like this:

A 1985 Honda NIghthawk 700S? Hmmm...

Ooh. CBR600...

I could get into ALL kinds of trouble with that...

Kawasaki Concours, with heated seat? Hmmm.

That's a little more my style, certainly.

More practical (and in my price range) is a Suzuki GS500:

Can you tell I'm itching to get the Harley back?

That is all.

Mere Words Cannot Express How Much I Want This To Happen...

The title is only one word...

Hoverbike

The Hoverbike is what happens when one really wants to be a superhero, but really needs to figure out a way to more efficiently herd cattle. Aussie Chris Malloy has created a prototype for this motorcycle-helicopter hybrid, with the functional goals of revolutionizing aerial cattle mustering, assisting search and rescue operations, and improving military/emergency services; and the aesthetic goal of creating the undisputed King of Vehicular BAMFs.

The pictures all pretty much look like this:

(from link)

The problem with something like this is that it requires a much more complex licensing scheme than we currently possess. The ability to hover - and one would assume traverse as well - at 10K feet means that it would put such a vehicle in the realm of aircraft. Reduce the hover area to ~ 25 feet and who knows how it would be classified. You'd still have to follow conventional roadways - and be careful on overpasses and such - and how do you deal with the inevitable moron running out of gas and crashing to earth in front of a semi on 95 South?

But DAMN wouldn't that be fun? Say goodbye to the hellish traffic - you don't need the HOV lane, you have the FPV lane (Flying Personal Vehicle). Would speed limits apply to a flying bike? Even if they did, getting to work would become a LOT quicker for me - a literal straight shot to the highway, then blast over everyone at the speed limit until I get to work.

Yeah, I'm in my happy place just thinking about this...

That is all.