WTF Harbor Freight?

So, today is Dad G.'s birthday. He's one of those impossible-to-shop for people, because any time he sees something he wants, he buys it. When asked for gift suggestions, his response is almost always of the "a check for a million dollars" or "a yacht" variety rather than something useful. So, when he tells me that Harbor Freight just opened up close to them, the little light bulb over my head went off. Gift Card!

The first clue something wasn't right should have been when Citibank bounced the purchased, claiming potential fraud. Now, I've ordered from dozens of online retailers, some that I was particularly skeptical about, and never gotten a fraud alert (I did get a fraud alert from a soda machine in a rest area in NJ, which I found puzzling, until I read up that one of the tactics of thieves after stealing a wallet or purse is to make a small purchase on the run to see if the card is still active).

Now, I've got it set up so the alerts come in a text to my phone. I responded in the affirmative to the text and received confirmation from Citibank that the order had been released. Apparently they crossed in the ether, because the next day I get an e-mail from Harbor Freight telling me the cc authorization failed and they had canceled my order. They gave an order number and an 800 phone number, with the line "We are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week."

Apparently they didn't mean in a row...

First off, my order status according to the customer service number was "processing", not canceled. When I attempted to speak with a representative, I was informed that they were, in fact, closed. Which would be the exact opposite of being available "24 hours a day 7 days a week." I'll try again later in the day, but it's a cause for apprehension that I've been told my order is canceled, but now it's "processing," so I'm reluctant to place a second order or explore alternate birthday ideas until I have confirmation either way. And even then, I'm not 100% sure.

Great job making Comcast look competent here, Harbor Freight...

That is all.

Dial 911 And... Wait.

Joseph in IL sends in this story, which should be brought out as Exhibit A any time someone states you don't need a gun because you could just dial 911.

Family calls 911 when intruder tries to enter home, waits hours before police show up

On March 16, Terri Bice of New Orleans and her family were woken up at 2 AM, when they heard their dog Molly barking and someone trying to break into theirhome through the front door. Bice immediately made a call to 911, but as WWL Eyewitness News reports, that didn’t wind up being too useful.

As it would turn out, Molly’s barking scared off the would-be burglar, who probably left to escape being seen. However, feeling reassured they would be ok quickly evapatored when calls to 911 were unanswered. Bice took note of her calls. She made two to 911 and didn’t get an answer. She then called New Orleans Police Department’s (NOPD) non-emergency line twice and, again, wound up getting no answer. It wasn’t until she made a call to NOPD’s Second District that she finally got an answer. That wasn’t the end of it, though. Bice and her family had to wait nearly two hours before an officer came to their home.

Four different calls. Two to 911, then two to non-emergency lines. She finally got through to police officials, and the wait was nearly two hours before an officer came out to investigate. Now, granted, we don't know if maybe they told the police that the goblin had left or something, but even at that, someone should have been out to check out and see if maybe the guy was still hanging around.

It's a damn good thing she wasn't huddled in a closet while some drug-addled lunatic rifled through her belongings, or worse. Two hours is a very long time to wait for someone to come help you when there's an unknown assailant breaking into your house. Yet there are still people out there who think that firearms should be outlawed, that there are no uses for the best tool possible for defense.

The next time you engage one of these numbskulls, remember this story.

That is all.

Blood... Boiling...

Just... wow.

Ohio police say Indiana couple overdosed on heroin while with children at McDonald's play area

CINCINNATI – An Indiana couple has been jailed in Ohio on child endangering charges because police say they overdosed on heroin in a McDonald's play area.

Hamilton County court records show that the fire department in Green Township, just west of Cincinnati, responded to a call Sunday of two adults needing attention in the restaurant's children's play area. Authorities say one was unconscious and not breathing, and the other was conscious but unresponsive.

The kids were 5 and 8. I guess it could have been worse - it could have been a nursing infant. I quit smoking for my kids. I lost over 100 pounds and started exercising for my kids. These two selfish assholes couldn't stop putting poison in their veins for their kids. They couldn't even have the decency to drop dead from the OD so the kids can be taken away, given to someone more responsible--like hyenas--and have a shot at life.

Look, I get addiction. I smoked for nearly 20 years. I've had the monkey on my back. It's been over 13 years since I quit, and there are *still* days when I would crawl over broken glass for another cigarette. I still have The Dream where I start smoking again and am pissed at myself because it means I'll have to quit again. But I quit, because I know it's best for me and my family. I don't want my kids seeing Daddy smoking and thinking it's okay.

But these selfish assholes have no compunction about shooting up heroin in front of their kids - die in a fire.

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

(Best) Buyer Beware

Congratulations, Best Buy. You have managed to do something I didn't think was possible: Displace Comcast from the No. 1 spot on my "Lousy customer service" list.

A week ago we moved into our new house in Virginia. The previous owners had taken the washer and dryer with them, so we shuffled off to Best Buy to buy replacements. We found a pair that were on sale, with all the features we needed, and made arrangements to have them delivered and installed. We even opted for the braided line upgrade, figuring that it was most likely unnecessary but, given our recent luck, we figured we were better safe than sorry.

Friday afternoon they came and installed the washer and dryer. I took a quick look at the setup, everything looked okay, and figured I'd get a few loads of laundry done on Saturday to break them in. Except that when I left the house Saturday morning, I heard water running when I went out in the garage (the washer and dryer are in the mudroom between the house and garage).

What happened, you ask? This:

Yeah. That's the cold water connection from the water valve to the washer. Now, I'm not a plumber, but I could tell right away that didn't look right. Mostly because of the water all over the floor, but also because it's off an entire thread. Somehow the installation experts sent out to complete this simple task were unable to screw on a damn fitting properly. They missed the water liberally dripping out of the connection, and pronounced themselves done.

Oh, but wait - it gets better.

I was at the DMV getting my license and truck registration changed over to VA Saturday morning, so I called the Mrs. and asked her to contact Best Buy about the problem. Even though it was their contractor that messed things up, the best they could do was "sometime Monday" to fix THEIR error. 48 hours - or more - with no washer and water leaking all over my floor because THEIR person screwed up and did a job VERY poorly.

Unacceptable.

Had I any inclination that this was the level of "service" they offered, I would have bought a washer/dryer from Lowe's, which was right across the street from them and also offered free installation. I would urge anyone reading this to consider other options than Best Buy if purchasing any item that requires installation more complex than plugging in an electrical supply. Because when they screw it up - and they almost certainly will - you can expect a response measured in days, not hours.

Even if water is leaking all over the floor of your new house because of a mistake THEY made.

Stay away from Best Buy, that's my advice.

That is all.

Friday Funnies...

Joseph in IL sends in this video capture of the world's dumbest car thief...

The worst getaway ever

Just watch this video of a driver attempting a hit-and-run in Chicago. You've gotta watch the whole thing. Don't give up too early, because you will miss … well … just watch.

We pick up the scene just after the driver of the black SUV allegedly hit the white cab.

No, you've really got to see this imbecile:



Let's see. First he hits the white Camry cab. Then he hits the white Crown Vic cab. Backs into the red sports car. Hits the white Camry cab again, and then plows into the Caddy SUV, hard enough to rip off his front bumper. Four vehicles struck, two of which were occupied at the time - that's four counts of malicious destruction of property and at least two counts of assault with a deadly weapon (the vehicle) on top of grand theft auto.

And it's all caught on video, so this guy's going to do some serious time when they catch him...

That is all.

And In Sharp Contrast...

There is this story, about someone connected to Obamacare, who did NOT lie about the process and *did* lose her job...

Sean Hannity Gives $26K to Erling Davis, Obamacare Phone Operator Fired for Talking to Him

Fox News host Sean Hannity is coming to the rescue of Erling Davis, the Obamacare hotline operator who was fired after she spoke on his show Monday. Hannity is giving her the equivalent of a year’s salary, $26,000, and vowing to help her find a new job through his listeners.

Davis, who is from Panama City, Florida, went on Hannity’s show again yesterday to discuss the details of her termination.

First off, I don't care what side of the aisle you're on, but that's pretty decent of Hannity. He didn't have to pony up the money or work to get her a new job - but he genuinely felt bad about his actions causing her to get fired.

Isn't it pretty much the height of irony, though? Sebelius straight-up lies about ObamaCare and nothing happens, yet this woman tells the truth and loses her job. Something is wrong there. Something is seriously wrong there. I mean, this isn't the first time that Sebelius has played fast and loose with the truth - remember when she was campaigning for Obama in her official capacity, which is a no-no?

Sebelius makes nearly $200K a year and has a whole host of perks, none of which will she lose because of her untruths. Davis made $26K a year - about what a typical full time retail employee makes - and lost her job because she did was she was supposed to do. Someone called the ObamaCare hotline with a question about ObamaCare, and she answered it. That's her job. And she was fired for doing it.

Something is dreadfully wrong here, folks, and I don't know that we can even fix it at this point...

That is all.

Moar Green Energy "Success"

This time sent in by #1 blogdaughter, not Brad_in_MA!

Firefighters alarmed by latest rescue risk: solar panels

Firefighters across the nation are alarmed at the prospect of battling blazes in buildings topped with solar panels, which can create new risks of roofs collapsing, an inability to gain footing and even potential electric shock.

Two recent fires involving structures decked with solar panels have triggered complaints from fire chiefs and calls for new codes and regulations that reflect the dangers posed by the clean-energy devices. A two-alarm fire last week at a home in Piedmont, Calif., prompted Piedmont Fire Chief Warren McLaren to say the technology “absolutely” made it harder on firefighters. Weeks earlier, in Delanco, N.J., more than 7,000 solar panels on the roof of a massive 300,000-square foot warehouse factored into Delanco Fire Chief Ron Holt’s refusal to send his firefighters onto the roof of a Dietz & Watson facility.

Now, call me crazy, but I would think that the extra weight should be taken into consideration when putting the panels on the roof. Then again, I'm just a regular guy, not a green energy crusader, so things like load-bearing weight and fail points are above my pay grade to understand and implement. Apparently the greenies aren't too concerned with firefighter access or the inability to shut off the panels in case of a fire, and it's up to the building code to catch up.

Problem is, the fire fighters already have a solution: let it burn. They're not about to risk their lives fighting a fire if they can't access the roof because it's completely covered with solar panels, so bye-bye building in that case. How green are you now that you have to completely rebuild and replace everything? The real world will intrude - whether it's fighting a fire in a building with solar panels or protected wildlife being turned into eagle salad by wind power.

Then again, as the saying goes, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few endangered condor eggs...

That is all.

Mere Words Cannot Express How Wrong This Story Is...

Several folks sent this in. I'm still trying to adequately convey how fully and deeply this appalls me without degenerating into a string of obscenities that would make Carlin's ghost blanch.

Man Arrested For Protecting Home From Vandals

A New York man could be facing up to four years in jail after he captured four young boys vandalizing his father-in-law’s house – and held them inside a closet until the police arrived.

Jesse Daniels, of the Village of Clyde, is charged with four counts of endangering the welfare of children. Police say he threatened to hit the four boys with a hammer unless they got into the closet – a charge Daniels denies.

Go take a look at the pictures at the link. Those young boys TRASHED that house. This wasn't four young kids exploring a construction site on their way home from school. They were actively vandalizing this house -to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars - late on a Saturday night when they should have been home in bed.

That, sadly, is not the most shocking part of this story, though. The reaction of the boys' parents is:

“I understand they were in the wrong, but there are other ways to handle it,” parent Paul Bowler told WHAM. “He (Daniels) knew who the kids were. It’s not like they were strangers. And send the kids home and call the cops then. You don’t sit there and torment them and tell them you’re going to bash their skulls in with a hammer.”

[sputter][sputter]

The MOST they got on the guy is that he grabbed one of the kids by the back of the neck and left a mark. I don't buy that for a second. I suspect he might have said something along the lines of "you're lucky I don't hit you with this hammer"; even if he had threatened to "bash their skulls in", the fact remains that he DIDN'T. He kept them there until the police got there. The suggestion to send them home and call the cops is so incredibly ridiculous that I won't even justify it with a response.

Folks, if my kid were caught vandalizing a neighbor's house on a Saturday night, he had better PRAY that the neighbor KEEPS him in that closet.

I cannot BELIEVE the parents' response. I would be MORTIFIED. I would be APOPLECTIC at my kids. I would NOT be BLAMING THE DAMN NEIGHBOR. GAH.

THIS. This is every damn thing that is wrong with our society in a nutshell. Rather than apologize profusely, beat the damn brats until they can't sit for a month, and then work out a schedule by which the little monsters would make restitution, these dunderheads whine about how rough this guy treated their little snowflakes. Folks, my father would have beaten me to death - twice - for something like this, and I would have both expected and deserved it.

The parents complain that this guy knew the kids. Doesn't that make it like a THOUSAND times worse? They knew this person; this was someone in their neighborhood that they were doing this too. And when caught? Mommy and daddy get all mad about the mean man who said nasty things to their little angels - you know, after they destroyed his property and caused him financial ruin. Little things like that.

I can't even begin to catalog the failures here. There's the failure to instill the proper values in your children. There's the failure to respect private property. There's the failure to accept responsibility for one's actions. Failure to know where your damn kids are. Chronic hickory deficiency. Failure to know shame. Failure to instill shame. Failure to administer the holy mary mother of all beatings. I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Now, fear not. The one problem here, for the parents, is that they've made one critical mistake. By filing complaints with the police, they have already ADMITTED that their kids are guilty. They have ADMITTED that THEIR CHILDREN did this, and were caught at it. Unless they can PROVE that Mr. Daniels actually put the mark on the boys - and good luck with that - all they have is that he kept them in a closet until the police got there.

They, on the other hand, have failed to secure and account for their minor children. The prosecutor mentions that they may look at child endangerment charges on all the parents involved - while at the same time hinting that Mr. Daniels may not be prosecuted. If I were a betting man, I would say that Mr. Daniels was interviewed to get his side of the story, and all four boys were interviewed - separately - as well. It doesn't sound like he did anything wrong, and I suspect no charges will be filed.

The parents making all the noise, on the other hand, are going to wind up wishing they'd kept their damn mouths shut. There's damages done to the house - that were committed by the children that THEY admitted were there. Good luck getting out of paying for that. They might face charges themselves. They'll most likely get investigated by CPS - and rightfully so. Not knowing where your kids are in the middle of the night? I don't know about anyone else, but I hear my kids coughing during the night. To miss them actually getting out of the house?

In any case, this will bear watching - let's hope for a happy ending.

That is all.

Because I Never Get Tired of This...

Brad_in_MA sends in the latest story of - yes, you guessed it - another "green" company going teats-up...

Electric car startup Better Place liquidating after $850 million investment

Better Place wanted to make the world a better place by replacing gas stations with battery switching stations that would remove the driving mileage limitations from electric cars and eventually rid the world of fossil-fuel burning vehicles. But after six years and burning through $850 million, the company is filing for liquidation in an Israeli court.

As reported by the Associated Press, Better Place's Board of Directors issued a written statement Sunday announcing that the company was winding down.

Now, I'll give them some credit here. They put more thought into this than just putting out a battery powered car; they realized that one of the limitations of electric vehicles was the range and put a plan in place to help that. It's not a horrific idea, really; the "recharge" station simply maintained a supply of fresh batteries that could be swapped out for the drained battery to keep the vehicle going. If your battery can get you 250 miles on a charge, that's not much less than a comparable small car with a 10 gallon fuel tank, and I'll wager swapping the batteries takes about as long as filling the tank.

HOWEVER... This just galls me:

Better Place switchable batteries would offer electric cars unlimited range and reduce dependency on oil.

Really? Where do you think that electricity comes from, bunky? Magic electricity fairies? Your greenie buddies hate nuclear power with a violent passion. Wind and solar power are unreliable. So most of that electricity has to come from somewhere, and guess where that somewhere is? While it's not oil, true, it's somewhere else that greenies find distasteful: coal. Your smugmobiles run on coal, at least in the US, because more than a third of all electricity generation in the United States comes from coal. Two thirds comes from coal and natural gas.

And there's also the matter of the chemicals that go into making those replaceable batteries.They're nasty, dirty chemicals ripped from Mother Gaia herself in places like China that are among the worst polluters of the planet. Yes, those same batteries powering your smug electric car are made from strip-mining the earth with slave labor.

How's that double tall smug latte taste now?

That is all.

Not The Way To Start The Year...

Here's a definite story about doing it wrong...

Andover teen charged in Vermont after crashing into cruiser

CASTLETON, Vt. — A Massachusetts teenager is facing charges in Vermont after allegedly crashing his minivan into a police cruiser and fleeing the scene.

Vermont State Police say 18-year-old Christopher Lundgren, of Andover, allegedly rear-ended a Castleton police cruiser that was stopped on U.S. Route 4 in Castleton at about 9:30 p.m. Saturday. Police say Lundgren drove off but was apprehended after crashing into a rock ledge down the road.

Yeah, it's going to end badly when you rear-end a police car. It gets even worse if you flee the scene. Crashing down the road is just the icing on a big ol' cake made of fail... There's no indication on whether or not the young lad was intoxicated at the time of impact, but given that he a) hit a cruiser, b) fled the scene, and c) got into a second accident moments later; I would imagine that the likelihood that his BAC was 0.0 would be somewhere between "slim" and "none"...

Wonder how Mum and Dad feel about Precious Snowflake now?

That is all.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sing It With Me!

It sucks to be you, it sucks to be you
I've wandered around, finally found somebody who
It sucks to be yoooouuuu...

This poor SOB is NEVER going to hear the end of this mistake...

Officials: Worker Punctured Gas Line, Causing Strip Club Explosion

SPRINGFIELD (CBS) — Authorities in western Massachusetts announced on Saturday that human error was to blame for a blast that leveled a strip club, damaged 42 buildings, and injured 21 people in Springfield’s entertainment district.

State Fire Marshal Stephen Coan said a gas company worker responding to reports of a gas leak punctured a pipe that eventually led to a massive explosion.

In the annals of "don't be THAT guy", blowing up the local strip club has got to be at or near the very top of the list of things NOT to do if you want to remain popular. Now, as it turns out, he got really lucky - no one got killed in an explosion that literally leveled a building - so it's easier to laugh about this. Over a dozen people were injured, though, so it's not an entirely laughing matter.

But there's just something about a gas worker blowing up a strip club that's just begging for a punchline, no?

That is all.

A (Local) Political Message From Wally...

Wally had a less-than-exemplary run-in with a local candidate this morning. I'll let him tell you about it...

For a while now I’ve been saying I’d endorse any politician who runs on the “get off my lawn” platform. While the description is largely symbolic , it does represent my hopes that you can just do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t impact me. It isn’t truly about my lawn, but I do take a little pride in that patch of greenery. A couple of years ago, it was great. It’s not perfect any more, but it’s still my little piece of this planet. And when my lawn is directly threatened, I get very unhappy.

So this morning, Election day, I stroll out my door and hop in my truck and I am greeted by another truck carpet bombing campaign signs and heading into my drive.

Looking at my compass and confirming this is still my drive, I promptly ask this fellow to beat feet. Don’t stare at me dumbfounded, just leave. Don’t roll your window down and explain your justification for being in my yard, just pay attention to the irate homeowner screaming at you to GTFO. Don’t tell me how you are a candidate for state rep. Unass my property now. I have no desire to hear your ramblings. You are not allowed here. Go away. RFN. You, a marine, are thoroughly disturbed by being yelled at? You threaten to call the police? You actually call the police because I am clearly and loudly expressing your non-welcomosity ? I am sure they will be receptive to your call, since you are thoroughly entitled to my lawn, at least on opposite day. How about you just get the hell off my property ? Do you see those 8 people walking past, to the polls, watching this scene? I am sure they are thrilled to see this unfold. That’s top notch campaign advertising right there.

Platforms and posturing aside, seeing your inability to respect my property right or my wishes says it all.

Candidate Usher, from the bottom of my heart,FOAD.

Campaigning - UR DOIN IT RONG.

That is all.

QC Fail...

Buying soda in bulk (because it keeps and we go through a lot of it), you see some funny stuff. Like this:

Yeah, apparently that one missed the machine that puts the actual soda label on it, but not the one that covers the individual UPC for the warehouse bulk size four pack... And apparently there's no check to make sure that the label actually, you know, makes it on the bottle before it's packaged up and shipped.

Hmm. Maybe I should look for a mouse in the bottle?

That is all.

Another Obameconomy Success Story...

While Mitt Romney was out giving cancer to people, Obama's green economic miracle keeps rolling right along.

Or not.

After federal grant, US battery-maker taken over by Chinese firm

A company that two years ago was one of the most promising U.S. innovators in the clean-fuel auto industry was rescued from collapse Wednesday. Its buyer: A Chinese auto-parts company.

Wanxiang Group Corp., one of China's biggest parts makers, offered a $450 million lifeline to A123 Systems Inc., a maker of advanced batteries for electric vehicles that received U.S.-government backing. The deal would put the firm's lithium-ion technology and its U.S.-funded manufacturing plant into the hands of a company that has slowly acquired a passel of auto assets across the Midwest.

Yeah, that green thing's a real winner, isn't it? Solyandra, Beacon Power, Konarka; all of these "green" companies got big fat government checks - and then went teats up. I'm wondering what it would take for a "green" company to actually survive these days - obviously throwing billions of dollars at them doesn't cut it. Why, it's almost like they're trying to sell a product that not enough people want!

Just wait until Obama's second term and electric cars become mandatory...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

FAIL-Tacular!

Oh lord. This story might just be the penultimate in FAIL...

Drunken teen killed by own ricocheted gunshot in southern Texas

MCALLEN, Texas – A drunk 17-year-old died in southern Texas after a bullet he shot at a butane tank ricocheted back and hit him in the head.

Israel Torres fired the shot with a semi-automatic handgun in the backyard of a home near McAllen, Texas, shortly before 11:30pm Monday night, The Monitor reported.

I'm guessing he didn't actually shoot at the tank, but was screwing around and put the gun to his own head. I have strong suspicions that a .380 ACP ricochet would not be sufficient to penetrate skull, especially one that dense. The part about "Torres pulled out the gun's clip and turned to a butane tank" tells me he didn't turn to the tank, he performed the classic "hey y'all hold my cerveza and watch this" move.

Let's count the FAIL:

1. In the country illegally.
2. Underaged drinking.
3. Illegal possession of a firearm.
4. Failure to obey the rules of gun safety.

I liked especially how they were trying to determine if the father should face charges. YA THINK?

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

Boy, The Ol' Shocked Face is Getting A Workout...

Another surprising story sent in by the BLNN:

Chevy Volt chargers being replaced

General Motors is replacing the 120-volt charger included with every car sold so far with redesigned units with a larger, more durable and reliable cord, according to Reuters.

The move comes after several Volt owners posted complaints in online forums about their charge cables overheating and, in some cases, partially melting, but GM spokesperson Randall Fox said that the move isn’t a safety issue,

Wow. And all this time Government Motors was telling us that there was no truth to the rumors that Volts were experiencing spontaneous combustion... Charge cables overheating and melting? Why, that's nothing at all like catching on fire! There are no tanks in Baghdad! We will crush the American aggressors!

Oh, sorry, I think I got the mainstream media confused with Baghdad Bob for a moment there...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

Stupidity *Can* Be Fatal...

Commenter 8notch sends in this story of pretty much everything that can go wrong actually going wrong...

Man Shot At Detroit Gas Station, Reportedly Over Price Of Condoms

DETROIT (WWJ) - A man was shot and killed Friday night after an apparent dispute over the price of condoms at a Detroit gas station.

WWJ’s Beth Fisher spoke to an employee at the BP gas station on Fenkell and Meyers, where the shooting took place on the city’s westside overnight. The employee said the argument was apparently over the price of a box of condoms.

There's a certain escalation of FAIL that's just unreal here. Customer comes in, buys condoms, apparently without regard to the price. Sees price after he pays for them, then decides he doesn't want them, so he asks for his money back. Clerk refuses, so he goes nuts and starts trashing the store. Another clerk comes out and shoots him, claims a warning shot, and he winds up dying.

Folks, you couldn't write this as a TV show plot - no one would ever believe it.

Now, I'm willing to give the customer the benefit of the doubt - maybe there was no price on the condoms. But to buy it without checking, and only getting angry after the transaction? I mean, it's pretty universal that things at a gas station convenience store are going to be priced higher than WalMart - you're paying extra for the convenience of only making one stop. And of course, he responds in the classic and time honored manner of trashing the place, which of course is the hallmark of civilized society.

Not to be outdone, the convenience store clerk has to ratchet up the stupid. Rather than call the police, they go straight to the RoboCop ending and blow the dude away - and please, a warning shot that just happens to hit in a vital area? I'm guessing that since this is Detroit, the police response to a "man trashing a convenience store" call will be measured via calendar, but at the very least they'd have the 911 call to back up their actions. And even at the worst, if the dude trashes the store, it's not worth killing him over.

It's the remainder of the story that really turns the stupid up to 11. There's a city councilman proposing that convenience stores hire security guards to "protect the public". Gee, the last time I looked, there WAS an organization that was supposed to "protect the public" - the Detroit PD. If the convenience store hires a guard, it should be to protect the store and the people in it. They are under no obligation to protect folks outside of their borders - and would open themselves up to a world of liability if their security guard were to shoot some aspiring rap artist on the brink of redemption...

This takes things to a whole new level. The city is admitting that the police are useless, that the streets of Detroit are lawless and dangerous to the general public, and the fault of this is deemed to be convenience stores not being part of the community? What planet are these people from? It's the fault of convenience store owners that the local community places more value on "respect" than "the law"? It's the responsibility of the local stab-n-rob to make the community safe? Tell you what - let the guys behind the counter of the Quik-E-Mart buy short barreled shotguns and submachine guns, in that case.

I know this is a crazy idea, but how about if we start holding people responsible for their actions, treating them as adults who should know better than to riot in the streets over the price of condoms. Rather than slap them on the wrist and let them back out on the street, how about putting them in jail and actually keeping them there? The crime rate in Boston plummeted when repeat offenders were kept in jail - because the majority of crimes are committed by a core group of thugs. Keep the thugs in jail, crime goes down. Everybody wins.

But then we couldn't talk about "respect" and the importance to the community, could we?

That is all.

Idiots, Alcohol, and a Cannon: Recipe for Disaster

Several folk sent me this story:

Woman Killed When Her Spouse Accidentally Shoots Cannon Into Their Home

POTRERO (CBS) — A woman was killed early Tuesday when her lover, who had allegedly been drinking, accidentally shot a homemade cannon into the couple’s home.

Homicide detectives with the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department are investigating the 38-year-old woman’s death, which took place in the 25000 block of Potrero Valley Road, near the California-Mexico border.

Does the fact that a) it happened in a trailer park; b) they're not sure if it was her boyfriend or her husband; or c) the imbecile responsible had been drinking surprise anyone? I'm trying to figure out the "thought" process that went through this numbskull's head.

Step 1: Load cannon.
Step 2: Point cannon at house.
Step 3: Light cannon.
Step 4: [draws blank]

I mean, was it any surprise what would happen? Did he not think it would go off? Or was it one of those "oh, that'll never go through the wall, it'll just scare them" kind of things? It's hard to imagine that there was any kind of thought process here beyond "hey, hold mah beer and watch this sh*t!" I'm still curious how someone with such obvious mental deficiencies managed to get ahold of and properly load an actual cannon...

The other scary thing is that there were at least five adults and a four year old child living in one mobile home. Now, I've had some friends who owned mobile homes, and none of them were suited for more than three people - usually there's two bedrooms at best, and small bedrooms at that. So there's five adults and a child living in a domicile meant for three, tops.

It's a shame that someone lost their life over something so incredibly stupid and eminently preventable. A young girl grows up without her mom; her dad (if he is her dad) goes to jail for a long time, and they're more than likely going to be evicted from the trailer park. All because... well... That's what I'm trying to figure out. Cletus thought it would be funny to blow up his trailer?

If I'm laughing, it's only because the other options are crying and shrieking in terror at the fate of humanity...

That is all.

I'll Take "Things That Don't Surprise Me" for $500, Alex

Volt production halted; 1,300 workers out of work

Facing a significant backlog of unsold inventory, General Motors will shut down production of the Chevrolet Volt for five weeks.

The maker has notified 1,300 workers at the GM plant in Detroit that they will be idled from March 19 through April 23 while assembly operations are idled. But the maker insists the latest setback is not a sign of long-term problems for the plug-in hybrid, noting that Volt sales in February jumped 70 percent over the prior month.

(Emphasis mine). Gee. A "significant" backlog of unsold inventory. Why on earth do you suppose that is? Could it be because GM wants nearly 50 large for a midsize car with a bowtie on the front? Could it be because they have a nasty tendency to burst into flames in accidents? Could it be that the much touted battery power that gives you a whopping 35 miles to the charge? Or that it gets a paltry 37 MPG on the gasoline engine? I had a Plymouth Sundance in 1994 that cost nearly a fifth what the Volt does and it got close to that figure. I ran the math on the Volt last year in case anyone needs a harder look at the figures.

It's not surprising that they pulled the plug on the Volt. What's surprising is that it took this long to actually decide to let the patient die - although GM is claiming that they're keeping the Volt, that things look great, that there is in fact no truth to the rumor about the ship hitting an iceberg, that in fact there is no such thing as an iceberg in the first place. It's very much like the "bring out your dead" scene in Monty Python's The Holy Grail - GM keeps insisting that the Volt is very much alive, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Perhaps a better Monty Python analogy for the Volt, though, would be the Dead Parrot sketch...

That is all.

Don't Ever F*** With the Bartender...

Because you'll wind up looking like the guy in this story:

Man beaten with his own shotgun following two failed robbery attempts of provoked victims

This is the drunken robber who was left badly bruised after he was beaten with his own shotgun by passers-by.

John Columbus Beane, 58, appeared in a West Virginia county courtroom Friday admitting to two charges of first-degree robbery in November that ended with the butt of his own shotgun clubbed repeatedly into his face and head.

Go look at the picture. The very first thing that came to mind was the Jim Croce song "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" - because this dude looks like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple of pieces gone indeed. I mean, if you look up "getting the s**t kicked out of you" in the dictionary, you will see that picture.

You know, there's two mindsets in this world. There's the mindset that sees an umbrella handle and calls in the SWAT team, and there's the mindset that takes a shotgun away from a belligerent drunk and beats the tar out of him with it. I vastly prefer being of the latter mindset, thank you very much.

There's a world of difference between living in fear and being prepared - something that anti-gun people will never know.

That is all.

Thanks to Bob S. for the link!