The Dead Goblin Count Has Moved!

Kevin over at Misfires and Light Strikes has generously offered to take over the Dead Goblin Count at his place. Going forward, you can send DGC additions to Kevin for inclusion in the count (although if you could copy me on the e-mail, that would be awesome, because hey, don't we all need a little pick-me-up during the day?). Please send additions to kevin (AT) exurbanleague (DOT) com.

Thanks for the assist, Kev - I owe you one!

That is all.

Two Days, Two Dead Goblins...

Shane W. is at it again, sending in happy fun stories of goblins getting what they so richly deserve...

UPDATE: Suspect Shot in Alleged Home Invasion Dies

PORTSMOUTH, Ohio (WSAZ) -- A man has died after being shot in what police say was a home invasion.

Officials at Cabell Huntington Hospital say Keith Richards, 31, of Portsmouth, died Monday evening.

Portsmouth Police say Richards broke into a home in the 1000 block of 23rd Street Sunday night.

Family members of the deceased homeowner say the home was also broken into the night before, so they had someone at the house Sunday, keeping an eye on it.

It gets even better. Apparently Richards was coming in through a window when he was confronted by an armed homeowner who told him to leave. He declined to follow the instructions, and instead continued to enter the house that he had no business being inside. Rather than curl up in the fetal position and wait for the police to arrive, the homeowner took action and ended the threat. Good on you, homeowner!

You've got to wonder about a criminal who keeps coming even though he's been told to leave. It's not clear if the homeowner informed the goblin that he was armed or not - and to be honest, I can't tell which is worse. If he did tell the goblin that he was armed, then the goblin was intent on doing harm. If he didn't, then the goblin's intentions would determine the outcome - but I'll wager that continuing to break in despite knowing that there were people inside means the goblin's intentions weren't for the best.

TL/DR: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Dead Goblin Count: 448

That is all.

You Know What We Haven't Had In A While?

An addition to the DGC. Thankfully, Shane W. is on the job!

Neighbor shoots, kills burglar

SAN ANTONIO -- A man was shot to death on the South Side early Sunday but police so far are saying the shooting was justified.

Police believe the man was trying to break into a home or car, around 3 a.m. Sunday in the 100 block of Beatrice.

That's about all the article has to say about the incident, other than police don't believe the shooter will face charges. Now, in Texas you are justified in using deadly force over property, so it really doesn't matter whether it was a car or a house. I'm a little conflicted on this myself - while I understand and agree that your property is by extension your money (which is by extension your time and energy), so that it is worth protecting, I don't know if I'd say it was worth killing over.

Although, since it is certainly worth protecting, it's quite possible that the Texas law is written that way so that if you were to protect your property and the goblin were to attack, you'd be in the right for plugging them quick. I see nothing wrong at all with sticking a 12 gauge in the face of the guy trying to break into your car - if he happens to get himself shot when he reaches for something in his coat, well, he should have chosen his line of work better, no?

Plus, I understand the visceral, violent reaction to the thought of someone else touching my truck...

Dead Goblin Count: 447

That is all.

And Another One!

My kilted brother-from-another-mother Jeff B. sent this one in.

Vietnam veteran shoots, kills intruder

FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WANE) – A suspect in an attempted home invasion was killed Monday after being shot by the homeowner, according to Fort Wayne police.

Police were called just before midnight Monday to a shooting on Melita Street, near downtown Fort Wayne.

Vietnam veteran - yup, sure enough, he's in his 70s. The man he shot was in his 20s. The Bradys and MAIG would rather a seventy year old veteran fight a man 50 years his junior hand-to-hand rather than use an appropriate tool. Where is the logic in that? We are tool-using monkeys - without the ability to use tools, we would have ceased to exist as a species. Yet when it comes to protecting ourselves, the privileged elite (who, remember, all live in gated communities and have armed bodyguards) wish us to take a step backwards in tool selection.

I fail to see why a man in his seventies who has served his country in war time should be reduced to grappling with a home invader. This isn't the Middle Ages, where might made right, and only the strong and powerful were able to adequately defend themselves. Although one thing hasn't changed since the Middle Ages - the wealthy and connected still have the finest in personal protection.

They must really hate that the masses can protect themselves as well...

Dead Goblin Count: 446

That is all.

Starting Monday Off Right...

If there's one thing I like, it's starting Monday off right. And by "right", I of course mean "with a dead goblin". Several folks sent this story in...

Fort Bend teen kills intruder

The teenage son of a Houston police officer shot and killed an intruder Friday at the family's home in Fort Bend County, officials said.

The teen was on the telephone with his father, Houston Police Department officer Ken Patmon, when he opened fire at one of two people who had forced their way into the home, officials said.

There is only one thing that I see wrong with this entire story. No, not that he called his dad rather than 911 - that's completely understandable. No, not that he went to George Bush High School (although I'm sure the media will blame the death on Bush...) No, my issue is with this:

"He's never used a firearm - ever," the officer said. "He maintained his poise and did extremely well under the circumstances."

He's 18 years old, going into the armed forces, and you've never taken him to the range? I fired my first gun when I was *eight* for crying out loud, and that was in Massachusetts for pete's sake! Now, I could understand it if he had never shot that handgun before or even a handgun before, but to never have fired a gun? I can only hope that the father is saying that to further reduce the likelihood that his son will be charged with anything.

Then again, this is Texas here - they might charge him for missing the other goblin...

Dead Goblin Count: 445

That is all.

And The Lucky Number Is ... Four?

Several folks sent me this addition from Down East...

Intruder shot to death in Maine home invasion

ROME, Maine (AP) — Maine State Police say a man was shot to death in the town of Rome as he was attempting a home invasion.

Police said 44-year-old Christopher Dennison of Livermore Falls was wearing a ski mask and brass knuckles as he broke into a mobile home on Foss Hill Lane on Saturday night.

Rome, ME is not exactly BFE, but it's definitely out of the way. Friends of ours have a cabin in Belgrade, which is south of Rome, and that's a good half-hour off I-95 by itself. This is an area where it may very well take the police half an hour to get to your call, because there's only one or two cruisers covering an entire county. This is exactly the kind of place where you pretty much need to depend on yourself in a situation like this, and it's good to see that the homeowner was not following the advice of MA AG Coakley and did practice self-help.

Dead Goblin Count: 444

That is all.

Side note: Rome is also the town where the infamous Maine hermit was captured.

Starting The Week Off With A Bang...

Scribbler's Dad sends in this addition to start our week off right:

Clerk shoots, kills suspected Tifton robber

TIFTON, GA (WALB) - Tifton Police are investigating the death of a 35 year-old robbery suspect who was killed in a botched robbery attempt Thursday night.

They say the clerk pulled out a gun and shot the man they believe to be Bennie Hill multiple times.

GBI agents said it happened at the Funny Fruit Thrift Store on 1424 Tift Avenue. The Thrift Store owner, who asked not to be identified, said the suspect tried to rob the clerk at gunpoint between 7:30-8pm.

They killed Benny Hill! You bastards! [insert Yakety Saks here). Kidding aside, when you pretend to have a gun it is treated the same as if you actually have a gun in the eyes of the law - and in the eyes of your potential victim as well. In this case, the clerk saw a man dressed in a manner so as to avoid detection acting for all the world like he had a weapon with which he could cause harm. The clerk, not wishing to become a statistic himself, took action using the best tool possible for self defense.

While it's unfortunate that the robber was killed, he could have avoided it quite easily by remaining law abiding - you have to ask why anyone has a problem with this concept...

Dead Goblin Count: 443

That is all.

My Favorite Oldsmobile Addition...

Man, that Shane W. is something else. He's found the fourth DGC addition this week:

Robbery suspect shot and killed by store owner, two suspects at large

BEAUMONT - A spokesperson for the Beaumont Police Department has identified a robbery suspect who was shot and killed during an armed robbery in Beaumont's north end Tuesday evening. Sgt Rob Flores identifies the deceased as Duayne Smith, 25, of Port Arthur.

Police continue to look for two other suspects.

The robbery happened just after 9 p.m. at a game room located in the 3600 block of East Lucas Drive in north Beaumont.

Got that? Three armed goblins jumped a guy and his mom as they were closing up their business for the night. Now, if I remember correctly, it was in Florida where the older gentleman opened fire on three youths who attempted to rob a "game parlor" there - which is a code word for video gambling. No idea if if it's the same euphemism in Texas, but it would explain why they would be so keen to rob the owner as he closed up for the night.

Now, our intrepid businessman knows that bad things happen after dark, and that carrying large sums of cash makes one a target. He had a defensive firearm and was prepared to use it effectively - and three against one odds, that's pretty gutsy right there. He's either a good shot or the men who robbed him were exceptionally cowardly (or both) - he shot one down and the other two just started running.

There's a bit in the video from the pastor of the church down the street. Now, far be it from me to argue with a man of G-d, but it would seem to me that the problem has a lot less to do with our "capitalist" society and a lot more to do with a certain segment that feels they are owed a living. In my view, the "capitalist" was trying to make a living and the three choirboys that attacked him could have remained unharmed simply by obeying the law.

Whatever happened to "Thou Shalt Not Steal", Rev.?

Dead Goblin Count: 442

That is all.

Three, Three, Three Adds In A Row!

Shane W. is on fire this week, with the third DGC submission in as many days:

Munhall Homeowner Shoots, Kills Intruder

MUNHALL (KDKA) — A homeowner shot and killed an intruder early Tuesday morning in Munhall.

According to police, the shooting happened at a home in the 100-block of East Eugene Avenue near Victor Way and Wade Way around 3:45 a.m.

You know what? That's a damn good neighborhood right there, folks. One neighbor sees the guys breaking in and calls the homeowner. Another hears the call come over the police scanner and goes to investigate - while armed. That's freakin' State Farm good neighbor stuff right there. It's one of the things I'm going to miss about my neighborhood, actually - with a retired cop on one side (my dad), another gunnie neighbor across the street, and a firefighter/EMT two doors down, we're pretty well covered.

And a dozen shots fired and only the bad guy was hit? That's impressive as hell. I've never tried to hit a target that was shooting back at me, but I would consider *any* hit under those circumstances to be a damn good one. At least the other crook had the good sense to run the hell away when he saw that the homeowner was armed - but it does beg the question of what would have happened had the homeowner *not* been armed. Maybe they would have both run off. Maybe the homeowner would be dead right now.

At least things went down the way they did, and only people what deserved getting shot actually did...

Dead Goblin Count: 441

That is all.

"America, The Land Of The Chrysler 440 Cubic Inch Engine!"

One of my very favorite lines from the Blues Brothers, and I get to use it in a DGC addition. Is Life. Is Good. Shane W. sent this one in.

Home intruder shot, dies

William Anthony Wilson, 27, allegedly broke into a house at 921 N. Park Ave. in Ashdown and was shot by a resident living in the house at about 11 p.m. last Wednesday.

The identity of the family has not been released.

Wilson, who according to authorities broke open a back door and entered the house, died about an hour later in Little River Memorial Hospital and was pronounced dead by Dr. Lonnie Parker at 12:15 a.m. on Thursday.

At the home were "an adult male, adult female and two preschool children". When you're a parent, and I'll speak for dads only because I happen to be one, the drive to protect your kids is a very strong one indeed. Someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night, all you know is that your children are there and you are to keep them safe at all costs. I look upon those that would deprive us of the best tools for that task as nothing short of evil. Why on earth do they want so desperately to give the upper hand to the bad guys?

I would much rather read a story like this than one where the family inside suffers. 

Dead Goblin Count: 440

That is all.

Monday Addition...

Shane W. sends in the latest addition. This one is kinda personal...

Wash.: man waving chain saw is fatally shot

TACOMA, Wash. (AP) — A Pierce County, Wash., sheriff's spokesman says a 19-year-old man who reportedly waved a chain saw at his father's girlfriend and made threats about cutting people was shot and killed.

Sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says the young man was killed late Monday night during a dispute in Vaughn, northwest of Tacoma. Troyer says the woman's 27-year-old son is believed to have fired the shot. The spokesman says that man has not been arrested because the shooting appears to be self defense.

It's personal in that one of my DGUs involved someone with a chainsaw. No one was injured and there were no direct threats; OTOH, all I did was change my CC handgun to OC to prevent further issues. I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly do not want to tangle with a chainsaw. My grandfather had one kick back when he was cutting up a fallen tree and it took a nasty chunk out of his leg - and that was an accident. Someone using a chainsaw as a weapon means business, and I'm happy for the distance that a firearm allows.

Of course, the MAIG folks and HCI ghouls would prefer you engage in hand-to-chainsaw combat rather than use a superior defensive tool...

Dead Goblin Count: 439

That is all.

Two Additions In A Row!

A whole bunch of folks sent me this one. It's a good'un!

Robbery victim confronted at a Redbox, shoots attacker to death

HOUSTON - A robbery took a deadly turn outside a north Houston McDonald’s after police said a man shot and killed a suspected robber who tried to steal his car.
...
Police said two suspects got out of the vehicle and robbed the man at gunpoint, stealing his cell phone, keys and wallet. However, police said the victim also had a gun on him at the time.

Mr. CHL holder proceeded to empty his pistol into both attackers, killing one on the spot and severely wounding the other.

[pauses to let cheers die down]

This is one of those cases where IMHO it is perfectly acceptable to give the robbers what they want. You see, when someone sticks a gun in your face and threatens your life with it, what they obviously want is a face full of lead, because that's what they should be getting. They had this guy's car, his wallet, his ID; they had everything they needed to go back later and rob his house, terrorize him, or even kill him at their leisure. They have his ID, they know where he lives, and they have the keys to the house. They have already demonstrated a propensity for using violence to get what they want, so there is little doubt they wouldn't continue this trend.

Well, one cannot continue the circle, and the other is going to be facing some serious time. That CHL holder just saved the good people of Texas a lot of time, money, and police manpower. Because of his quick actions, there's one crook that won't get a chance to graduate to the "until they kill someone" school; and another that will most likely be in jail too long for it to make a difference - I believe Texas has the law where if you are committing a crime and someone (anyone) gets killed, you can be charged with murder.

Good shooting, Mr. CHL holder!

Dead Goblin Count: 438

That is all.

Hump Day Addition...

Shane W. sends in the latest addition to the count:

Armed robbery suspect shot, killed in Charlotte

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Police said a man who tried robbing three men at a Charlotte apartment complex was shot and killed by one of the victims.

The Charlotte Observer reported that 21-year-old Omari Aiken died as a result of the alleged attempted robbery Friday night in the 7900 block of Antlers Lane.

Two men burst into a residence, threatening the residents inside. Two of the residents ran, prompting the men to start shooting. One of the residents retrieved a firearm, came back, and shot both attackers. That's how it's done, folks. That's some serious grace under fire and competence under pressure. Two armed men, who have already shown a willing disregard for life, against one determined armed citizen - and the armed citizen comes out on top.

Notice, mainstream media, that this story gets it right. The people being assaulted in their own homes are the victims. The people that came in and started shooting are not, even though they wound up losing. Losing the gunfight does not automatically make one a victim - certainly not when the loser started the fight in the first place.

We can certainly call the armed resident by their rightful title: Winner!

Dead Goblin Count: 437

That is all.

Monday Addition...

Nothing like starting the week off with an addition, this one again courtesy of Bob...

Shot intruder dies in hospital

An intruder who was shot when police said he and another person kicked in the door of a University City home died Friday morning at Carolinas Medical Center.

Jamal Antonio Haynes, 17, was taken to the hospital at about 6:45 p.m. Thursday with life threatening injuries after he was shot in a home on Century Oaks Lane, near where North Graham Street intersects Sugar Creek Road. Police were searching overnight for the other intruder.

Kicking in someone's door right around dinner time? I'm wondering if there's not more to this story than just a teenager gone wrong here. Unfortunately, the two sentences above make up 90% of the "article" - for now, we'll call it a good shoot unless we hear otherwise. It's awfully hard to work up a lot of sympathy either way - and if it was in fact a home invasion, all the better. Someone kicks in your door at dinner time, you shouldn't be expected to be in a very charitable mood.

Well, that's not entirely true - it's just that what you should be giving should be measured in grains and traveling many hundred feet per second...

Dead Goblin Count: 436

That is all.

Friday Addition!

Shane W. sent in today's special Friday DGC addition. I know I normally do these earlier, but everything's shifted this month with the KTKC fundraiser...

Robber shot dead in home invasion

SANFORD — A would-be robber was fatally shot Wednesday and an accomplice was hospitalized after a homeowner returned gunfire during a home invasion on Marsh Market Road in northwestern Accomack County.

It was the second time in the area this year in which the victim of a home-invasion robbery fired a shot at an armed intruder.

You know what? Keep shooting at them until they get the idea that it's hazardous to their health to be kicking in doors and trying to take that which does not belong to them. It's called an occupational hazard - if you choose the occupation of "burglar", one of the hazards you will face is that you may very well run into a homeowner that does not acquiesce to your plans for distribution of their wealth. And they may very well bust a cap in your ass, especially if you're dumb enough to threaten them...

One goblin deceased, the other wounded - this is after they opened fire on the homeowner. You know, batting .500 is pretty damn good considering the adrenaline dump of "HOLY S**T THEY'RE SHOOTING AT ME". I certainly hope that if, G-d forbid, I am ever in that position I can do as well. Another thing to notice about this robbery is the time - the call to the police came in at ten minutes to 10 PM. This isn't middle of the night or during normal work hours here - this is pretty solidly in the "people are likely to be home and awake" time frame. These armed goblins didn't care if they kicked in the door and people were home.

It's a good thing that homeowner was armed, and not just with a whistle.

Dead Goblin Count: 435

That is all.

And Another One!

Shane W. sends in the latest addition to the DGC:

Northland homeowner with shotgun kills intruder after string of carjackings, break-ins

A Kansas City, North man awoke abruptly early Wednesday when he heard two loud bangs in his garage, directly beneath his bedroom.

He grabbed his shotgun, ran down the stairs and opened the door to the garage to investigate while his wife and 18-month-old baby stayed upstairs, according to neighbors and police.

Hmmm. Heard noises, went to investigate. Minus points for not calling police, but plus points for grabbing a tool for self defense. He had amazing self-control, in that he refrained from shooting the goblin even as they struggled over the gun. It wasn't until the guy reached for something in his jacket - that the homeowner very reasonably assumed was a gun - that he pulled the trigger.

Note to goblins: Don't want to get shot? Don't struggle with the armed homeowner and then reach into your jacket pocket like you're going for a weapon. I mean, obviously, if you stay the hell out of houses that aren't yours, it's a non-issue, but if you simply must break into houses, drop to the ground in the fetal position and moan "please don't kill me" when challenged.

If you plan on fighting someone holding a shotgun, don't be surprised when multiple holes appear in your torso.

Dead Goblin Count: 434

That is all.

Seven Additions In A Row!

Jake sends in today's addition:

Resident kills man trying to enter home

A person was found dead in northwest Roanoke late Thursday after an attempted home robbery led to gunfire.

Officers were called to the 3000 block of Ferncliff Avenue just before midnight Thursday after reports that multiple shots had been fired in the area.

So, it's midnight and someone - or someones - is kicking in your door. You live in one of the sketchier areas of town, and police response is measured in multiple minutes (which, still, is pretty decent all things considered). Would you rather curl up in the fetal position on the floor and hope the police get there in time, or would you rather take steps to defend yourself using the best tools possible?

I don't understand why this is such a hard question to ask. While the forces against freedom chatter about some nebulous and dubious "right to be free of gun violence", they ignore that the measures they prattle on and on about directly impinge on our right to be safe in our homes - because when you prevent good people from having the best tools (and let's face it, their proposed laws only affect good people), that's exactly what happens. When you're reduced to a single shot rifle that's stored in a locked cabinet, it's awfully hard to protect yourself against three or four attackers.

But then, it's not really about reducing "gun violence", is it?

Dead Goblin Count: 433

That is all.

Starting The Week Off Right...

Bob sends in another addition for this Laborious of Mondays...

Police Investigating 2nd Fatal Shooting In A Day

CHARLOTTE, N.C. – Charlotte-Mecklenburg police are investigating a deadly shooting in the Hidden Valley neighborhood of northeast Charlotte.

It’s the second fatal gunshot in the Queen City Thursday.

Police said a man tried to rob the Fast Mart convenience store on Tom Hunter Road around 9 p.m. when he was shot by the store clerk. He then ran from the store and collapsed a block away.

There is, literally, one more line to this story in the link (the goblin was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics). See, this is what infuriates me about the media. Some looney tune decides he wants his 15 minutes of fame so he walks into a movie theater/school/shopping mall and opens fire, we turn them into instant celebrities. Their name, image, and history are plastered all over the newspapers, news websites, and television news; we find out what cereal they ate for breakfast as a kid; etc. Yet some convenience store clerk stops a robbery using the very same tool and no one wants any part of it.

That's what the Dead Goblin Count is for, folks - to keep track of the defensive uses of firearms by civilians.

Dead Goblin Count: 432

That is all.

Perfect Week!

Of additions, that is. Bob sends in the fifth DGC addition of the week with this story:

Man killed in Levy County shootout, deputies say

A Levy County man was killed early Sunday morning after deputies say he broke into a house he recently had been kicked out of and was shot by a man inside, who was also wounded in the shootout.

John Paul Robinson had been living in the house with a woman and another man until Wednesday, when he was served with a restraining order instructing him to leave the home. The order has been requested by the woman who lived in the house.

Yet another example of a restraining order not being worth the paper it's printed on... Now, according to the terms of the Lautenberg Amendment, that man was ineligible to legally possess firearms, so this is a double failure - both of the restraining order to restrain or from gun control from keeping guns out of the hands of ineligible people. It's a good thing that they didn't rely solely on that piece of paper, but instead chose a suitable tool for self-defense. Had the two people in that house relied on that piece of paper, this would most likely have been a different story altogether.

Fortunately, they relied on a different paper - that which came wrapped in a shotgun shell...

Dead Goblin Count: 431

That is all.

Four In A Row!

A whole bunch of folks sent this story in...

Teen fatally shoots burglary suspect in grandma’s Baytown home

BAYTOWN, Texas – One burglary suspect was killed and another was listed in critical condition after a teen watching over his grandmother’s Baytown home opened fire on them, police said.

The shooting happened in the 800 block of Brentwood Drive, according to the Baytown Police Department.

The house had been broken into previously - so the teenager was asked to house-sit to keep it safe. He heard someone break in, and went to confront the intruders. They didn't think that a teenager would have the courage to pull the trigger - they were wrong. They had already robbed a house earlier that day and were continuing to break into houses, and he stopped one robbery and prevented countless further invasions.

Now, any bets on what would have happened had that young man not had a firearm? He's outnumbered by two people who have already shown a disregard for the law. Maybe they would have ignored him; maybe they would have roughed him up. In any case, I'm glad the story played out this way - although that poor young man is going to have to live with the knowledge he took a life from here on in. He had little choice, but that can't make it any easier.

It's a heck of a lot better than most of the other ways it could have gone...

Dead Goblin Count: 430

That is all.