In Search of a Unified Field Theory for Geek-Movie Evaluation

I want to state up front that this is a working theory and this blog post should not be misconstrued as me signing off on it, or even putting it into practice. I'm asking for field research, here. Okay, to business.

Everyone online is wrong about everything, okay? One of the things they are wrong about is the subjectivity of reviews, doesn't matter for what: their premise, the wisdom of the crowd, if you will, is to say that the things that a person does or doesn't like about a film are deeply personal, and so any critical comments regarding the film are, by the associative property, a criticism on the deeply personal things that a person feels or believes.

For the record, I do think that legitimate criticism is subjective, owing as much to the reviewer's depth of knowledge as much as the creative work being criticised, but that's not quite the issue at hand. We're talking about being able to praise or trash a movie, without regard to anyone's feelings, and also not hurting them intentionally or otherwise with collateral criticism. 

This used to not be a problem. Back in the 90's, before the Internets, I could trash Star Trek: the Next Generation and still be called a Trek fan (I never was a Trekkie, but I was always a fan). Back in the early aughts, Rick Klaw and I were on a panel talking about Sci-Fi television and how bad most of it was, and the audience, hostile and flabbergasted in equal parts, kept throwing out suggestions to us, and we'd swat them down like Crash Davis at the batting cage. Afterward, people still bought our books. 

Nowadays, you can't throw shade on any franchise for any reason without someone sending you a "Let People Enjoy Things" meme. 

Elder Dice: The Color Out of Space dice reviewed!

I have written about Infinite Black's Elder Dice before, and commented here, and I've even used their dice to highlight things like the importance of theme and contrast. With three wildly successful Kickstarters under their belts, and having sold hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of dice, their latest release, The Colors out of Space (nicely, if unintentionally timed, I must say), it was their largest, most ambitious, and also their most confusing and chaotic KS campaign to date.

Now that the dice have finally made their way stateside, a great number of fans are posting pics, and taking to social media to express their feelings about their new acquisitions. I am, it seems, no different.

I won't get into the peripheral things that ended up showing up in the box for two reasons: 1. I have real, deep, and tangible buyer's remorse over the amount of money I spent for things I not only don't need but will never use, and 2. The dice are all that really matter at the end of the day. So let's get into this and see what's what.

Dice Delve: Rogue Dice by PolyHero

I just got an overstuffed and slightly damp plastic envelope of dice, all the way from China, in the mail that I've been waiting on for a good long while, now: Rogue Dice, Polyhero's latest release, is finally here. I backed this Kickstarter her a while back...two years, nearly...I did it mostly on the strength of one of their dice, which would be a Kickstarter-Only Exclusive. Crom Give Me Strength.  More on that later.

Anyway, they are here, now. And so because in my previous review of their Wizard Dice, I kinda brushed them off, what follows will surely be my longest and most extensive review to date, with a ton of pictures. Are you ready? Let's get into it, then.

D&D: Your Dice Will be the Death of Me

In anticipation of the newest hardcover book to drop out of the Official Hopper, the rocket surgeons over at Hasbro have let us in on the newest Official Dice Set that is dropping alongside of the book. Here is a picture of that product.

It's nice, right? Good packaging, and clearly based on the last set to come out, which was the Avernus dice for last year's book. Red dice, for devils, and with a felt-lined box and with some bonus cards or a map or some other damn thing that no one cares about. But, whatever. This is fine, right?

So, why do I want to Thunderwave whoever is in charge of their dice program?

Let's back up a bit. Strap in. This is a dice rant.

Dice Delve: A Duo of Dueling Diffusions

The artisanal craft dice market continues to expand and contract like the big bang model of the universe in its own teapot tempest of a cottage industry. It's gotten so widespread and self-referential to have spawned the appearance of trends, I swear to Crom. Trends! For Dice! Lately the up and coming seasonal trend seems to be a spin on the glitter dice of old, only with confetti-sized sparkly-stuff suspended in clear acrylic, like a frozen snow globe. I won't be reviewing any of those dice.

But I did pop for something that was quite the rage last season, and that was clear dice with a second translucent (or two) swirled into the clear acrylic. As one of those "Oooh pretty" ideas, several (as in, many) dice companies dove into coming up with clever name and color combinations seemingly overnight; these things hit all at once, and there were actually concurrent Kickstarters running for two different company's iterations of these dice. I made the executive decision to get the same kinds of these "Diffusion" dice or "Ethereal" dice so as to better compare like with like. The question was, of course, "do I like?" That all depends.

Dice Delve: Halloween Comes Early

I give Q-Workshop a lot of grief, mostly because I want them to be better than they are. Their designs are lovely and also many times indecipherable to the naked eye, which makes them a bounty for collectors and an eyesore for gamers who harbor more practical considerations.

That said, I was quite taken with their Top Drawer Dice Kickstarter, which featured a set of dice with a Halloween theme, Halloween Pumpkin dice. This was one of five total sets of interesting dice, some of which were clearly aimed at specific games, and some of which were just cool. I didn't mind some of the other designs, but the Halloween-inspired designs were, to my way of thinking, the clear and only choice.

Well, they came in, and I had a chance to do an interesting side-by-side comparison with another set of dice, also with a Halloween theme, produced by Bescon. Side-by-Side! Head-to-Head! A Grudge Match to end all Cage Fights! Carnage Mayhem! Ah HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Okay, maybe not. But here's my breakdown for those of you with an interest in all things October-y.

Dice Delve: Tarot Dice As Big As the Ritz

One of my table top RPG peculiarities is my separation between creation and play. To wit, I have a very different set of dice at my desk for when I'm thinking up cool things to foist on my unsuspecting players. This differs sharply from the dice I use when I am running games at the table, which tend to be more thematic or associative.

When I create, I use various special dice as inspirational items/desk toys/impartial arbiters of chaos and doom. Dice like my various skull dice. My arrows of chaos dice. My favorite d20 dice in the whole world. Things like that. I even have some Rory's Story Cubes in case I want to just wing it, usually as a thought experiment.

This is from the picture on Amazon that shows off the dice.
Missing from the photo is a sense of scale.

Of course, that's not all in my Thinking Kit. I have coins, tokens, cards, and other objects to fiddle around with. It's not a set thing; I trade bits and bobs out often. But I almost always have a tarot deck in the box, if not nearby, because I love the symbolism that's front-loaded on the cards. I've even got a deck that is reminiscent of stylized fourteenth century pamphlet art, which is perfect for D&D.

I don't use the tarot in games; only when I'm creating something. Well, that's not quite true; I wrote a set of rules using the major arcana that I turned into a fortune-telling system (really, an adventure generator). It's very robust, but it's also very specific, as I have only used it in my Introductory Campaign. But I love me some tarot symbols.

So, when I stumbled, quite by accident, across Tarot Dice, from the now-defunct company, Tarotocy, Inc, I nearly broke my arm reaching for my wallet. And for only twelve bucks, too! Here are thirteen 13 d6 dice, each with symbols representing random major and minor arcana. You also get rules and a play mat for doing actual tarot readings, but let's be real, people: I'm just here for the dice. I had to have these.

So, what did I get?

Dice Notes: Beating a Dead Horse (literally)

 After the last post, I had hoped to start talking about some aspects of my 5th edition campaign that may be useful and/or instructive to other DMs, but then something happened that curtailed all of that: I got my order from Infinite Black's second Kickstarter, Elder Dice: Unspeakable Tomes. This was a huge relief, tantamount to the scratching of an itch in the middle of your back, as their Facebook page has been dominated with posts from people lamenting that they haven't gotten their dice yet, followed by another post from someone who ordered one of everything, proudly displaying their new wares and cackling like the mentally deranged. For variety, as a palate cleanser, someone would jump in and post a picture of a crushed shipping box, with the notation, "But the dice inside were fine!"

A couple of people voiced concerns or complaints, and the devoted rank and file set upon them with pitchforks and Internet Sarcasm, in disproportionate ratios, and while I had always intended to talk about my dice when they came in, I resolved not to post my thoughts on their Facebook page, because I have no desire to get into a slap fight with anyone at the moment. Besides, as of this writing, it's all academic, anyway. I'll explain later. For now, let's talk about my dice and what has generated so many words of concern about good design.

Reviewing Strongholds & Followers

 I have been a little busy with real world stuff these past couple of months—the kind of things that are health-related—and so I have not been as active on the blog as I would like. Sorry about that. But I am still working, writing, and thinking about gaming and Dungeons & Dragons in particular. To that end, I will point you to Matt Colville’s YouTube channel, because he eats, sleeps, and breathes this stuff and I find myself in agreement with him, like, 98% of the time, when it comes to running D&D games. This is very likely because we are about the same age and have experienced many of the same things, and also we have very similar tastes regarding First Edition Stuff (such as Appendix N) and how we use it in gaming.

Colville is also very sincere and genuine in his discussions (really a monograph) of running and playing D&D. It shows, and it’s one of the things that makes him so likeable. It almost makes me forgive him for mispronouncing “archetype” every single time he says it.

Dice Delve: D&D Waterdeep Dragon Heist Dice

From the very first set of dice I bought from my local hobby store, there's just something cool about "official" products for your game. It's like saying, "Okay, here's what we recommend you play with." The first of these TSR dice were called "Dragon Dice" back in the day, and while they were a necessary item at the time, the dice were made out of terrible plastic that didn't last six months before they started cracking and chipping on every edge. By the time TSR had corrected their "official" dice, they had been supplanted by a horde of other, better dice manufacturers selling quality, high impact plastic dice that looked like jewels. Game over, TSR. Game over.

Eventually, TSR crept back into that corner of the gaming marketplace, and did so with some modest dice that were clearly sourced from a major manufacturer. No more of those soft pastel dice that chipped and cracked at the edges like mica! And while they never got that market share back, it was a nice side-item of sorts.

Now D&D is in the capable hands of Wizards of the Coast, and these guys know how to accessorize. Have you seen those spin-down life counters? Those cool d20s with the speckled pattern and the Magic: The Gathering symbol on the 20? Those are so cool! If they can do those, and produce them for every one of their M:TG sets, then a set of dice for D&D should be a walk in the park for them, right? ...Right? 

Well...um...you see...

Reviewing Art & Arcana

You have probably seen or heard about this massive tome on The Internets or maybe seen a review on The YouTubes. Art & Arcana is a ginormous, too-big-for-a-coffee-table Coffee Table book that's really a giant victory lap of sorts for the World's Most Popular Role-Playing Game. Not in a bad way.

This product was released in two versions; the one pictured on the left, a whatever Amazon is charging for it these days $50 investment that is equal parts revisionist history and art and marketing survey. For old-timers, there is a lot of "Oh, I remember that!" and "That's my favorite Module Art!" moments, along with company history that manages to be earnest in not quite dishing the dirt, but happily pointing out the quirks. It's big, it's heavy, it's hard to read. But for those of you who want something a little more upscale, read on, McDuff...

Dice Delve: Chessex Marbelized Ivory Polyhedral Set

I used to work for Chessex, and I am an unapologetic fan of their EuroDice, both the opaque and the Speckled varieties. I think that they are among the best dice available for RPG and tabletop gaming--maximum quality with minimum cash outlay. Even when I don't like something about a color combination, it's a tough love kind of thing, since I used to work for the company and presumably am in some kind of position to know better.

Chessex, like other dice sellers, also buys dice to resale from other dice makers--presumably not the same people who make their Speckled dice for them, but you never know, because it's kind of a trade secret. Speaking only for myself, as soon as you move away from Urea as a manufacturing component, it becomes a lot easier to see the flaws in a dice color or a plastic combination. This is not always a good thing, especially if you're the kind of person who has opinions about stuff. What am I talking about? Read on and see for yourself.

Dice Delve: Chessex Pound-O-Dice

I am going to break the format slightly for the purposes of this bulk dice review. A lot of people are buying mass quantities of dice, either for new players or to bolster existing collections. As a game master, I like to have a lot of options available for me to match my admittedly capricious moods, and I also like to hand out new dice to beginning players, since it's easier to simply give them what they need than expect them to know what they need. 

These days, thanks to lax international shipping and a variety of online shopping sites, starter dice sets are very cheap. Cool dice that you really want to play with cost a little more and are a really personal choice for each person, but for new players, all you really need are the correct sizes and shapes and you're good to go.

Still, these bulk buys are not without their charm, especially when you have a company like Chessex, who are known for their awesome speckled dice, offering a big-ass bag of them for a relatively low price. Sounds great, right? 

Dice Delve: Chain-Chain-Chaaaaaaain...Chain of Diiiiice...

Impact! Miniatures has made a great contribution to the OSR community by manufacturing a full line of odd-and-unusual dice specifically for games like Dungeon Crawl Classics, Mutant Crawl Classics, and their upcoming release, Lankhmar that utilizes a “dice chain” mechanic that goes from 1d3 to 1d30. You can one-stop shop and get exactly what you need, which is a good thing, because searching hither and thither for a d16 is, in my opinion, a bunch of bullshit. If you make a game that relies on weird-ass dice, you are obligated to provide those dice to your customers. Which they do. But Impact does a better job of it, in my opinion

Dice Delve: Double Six, Triple Four

A lot of people re-invent the wheel, and just as many will occasionally pretend the wheel is broken so they can "fix it." I've seen a lot of game aids over the years designed to correct a problem that I never in my life saw as being an issue; the hobby's equivalent to the Slap Chop.

Not all innovations are bad, you know. We all hate how D4 dice don't roll, are hard to fish out of the tackle box, and become weaponized when they fall on the floor. And yet, there isn't anything we can do about it, is there? Well, is there? 

Don't be so silly. Of course there is!

Dice Delve: Kung Who? Kung FU!

You don't notice lettering in comic books until its done badly. Same thing with editing in movies. Those things are invisible to the untrained eye when working as intended, and raised to an artform for the initiated. It's the same with graphic design; you don't "see" what a good job someone did until you see what a bad job another person did. 

In this vein, there are a lot of people out there in the Artisanal Craft Dice arena who have a basic understanding of Adobe Illustrator, enough money to order a bunch of raw materials, and they are off to the races. I see a lot of mediocre to bad dice being sold on Etsy and other online sites. To quote Tyler Durden, stuffing feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken. But there are some people out there who are doing it right. 

Dice Delve: The Power of Clarity

Today I'm going to pick a slapfight by tipping a sacred cow. I'm old, and my tastes run to the old, the vintage, the decrepit. You know, like stuff from 1985. The Dark Ages. When Dinosaurs roamed the Earth. And speaking of dinosaurs...

Lou Zocchi is one of the longest-running manufacturers of RPG-based products. He may be THE longest-running, and good on him for doing so. And like most people who've been in business since the 1970s, he's had his share of ups and downs. GameScience is currently the Elder Statesman of the Artisanal Craft Dice Movement. These should be the dice I prefer, since I'm crunchy and crusty, right? Let's just see what the current batch of GameScience dice looks like.

Dice Delve: The Power of Theme

I'm starting my dice reviews, and I'm sure I will do game reviews soon, as well.  I'm going to post them on Saturdays, which means this little blog is getting updated three times a week. It may not seem like much, but for me, it's huge.

Here are two sets of recent dice from wildly successful Kickstarter campaigns. Both of them lean heavily on their theme to be successful. And both of these companies made bank, with follow-up Kickstarters planned and executed. And while they both nailed the theme, how well did they make the dice?

Artisanal Craft Dice 6: A Baseline Review

I’ve dropped a lot of dice talk these last few weeks, so today I’m going to do a little show and tell. Here are some dice that live in my ridiculous and chaotic collection. I’ll show them to you, give you as much detail as I can about them, and then grade them using the criteria I’ve outlined here (link to part 5). That way, you can see what I’m on about, and also get a sense of what I value and what I hate. It’s important to understand where a reviewer is coming from, so you can get the most out of said reviews. I’ll talk about what I like, what I don’t like, and what doesn’t work below. You’ll get the hang of it.

Remember: if you want me to review your dice, drop me a line at Finns Wake at Gee Mail Dot Com. I won't promise that I'll love them, but I will promise to give them a fair shake. And a fair roll. Hah! Dice humor! See what I did there? Okay, let's get on with it.

Artisanal Craft Dice Part 5: Grading the Dice

This is what I'm going to do: I have a lot of dice, and I want to talk about them. Whenever you see this logo, it means I'm going to be all chatty and catty about the dice I have (or dice that I ended up with). If you like the reviews, that's awesome, and you should probably tell me. If you want me to review something specific, drop me a line at Finnswake at Gee-Mail Dot Com. If you send me dice to review, I will totally do that. Just make sure you want me to review them. I will thank you for free dice, and if I don't like them, I will say so. In print. But I will also explain why, using the system below. That will make my reviews useful to people who regularly read them, because I have a cut and dry criteria to judge dice with, or I'll explain why it gets a pass.

I know, I know. I think about stuff waaaay too much sometimes.

Over the years, having gone from one extreme to the other on this whole thing, and having been involved at every level of dice manufacturing save actually pouring plastic into the molds, I’ve got a clear and concise system for rating all of these newfangled dice and dice-shaped objects that vie constantly for my attention and my dollars. I’m at a point of saturation that I really don’t have any need for any more dice in my life…unless, you know, they’re really cool, or something. And here’s how I grade them to determine if they end up in my seemingly-endless pile.