Y = Yucky

Welcome, A-Z Blogging Challenge friends. This year, my theme is Prompt-a-day, with fun or thought-provoking writing prompts to use as a story start, warm up, or creativity stretching exercise.

Yucky

Your date decorates his/her living room with jars of diseased livers, animal droppings, or celebrities’ used Kleenex.

Writing prompts can be a helpful tool, no matter where you are in your writing journey. Here's how: 5 Reasons to Write with Prompts.

Looking for more writing inspiration?

Check out my latest release, 1001 Evocative Prompts for Fiction Writers. It will stimulate your thinking wherever you are in your writing journey and get you writing today. It provides story starts and writing inspiration for a wide variety of genres by focusing on emotions, character development, and pivotal moments.

You can face a blank page with confidence when you use these prompts to warm up, beat writer’s block, develop and maintain a writing habit, change up your routine, start a new project, experiment in a new genre, deepen parts of an existing story, or overcome burnout.

What are you waiting for? Dig in and get writing right now!

Add it on Goodreads
e-book: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / Apple iTunes / Kobo / Smashwords
Pocket paperback (5"x 8", 114 pp.) Amazon / Barnes and Noble / CreateSpace
Workbook (8"x 10", 426 pp.) Amazon / Barnes and Noble / CreateSpace


Q4U: How might you spin this prompt in an unexpected direction? How about as Gothic romance or urban fantasy?

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A = Amusing

Welcome, A-Z Blogging Challenge friends. This year, my theme is Prompt-a-day, with fun or thought-provoking writing prompts to use as a story start, warm up, or creativity stretching exercise.

Amusing

The April Fool's prank that made history.


Wonder why writing prompts can be a helpful tool, no matter where you are in your writing journey? Check out my guest post, 5 Reasons to Write with Prompts!


Looking for more writing inspiration?

Check out my latest release, 1001 Evocative Prompts for Fiction Writers. It will stimulate your thinking wherever you are in your writing journey and get you writing today. It provides story starts and writing inspiration for a wide variety of genres by focusing on emotions, character development, and pivotal moments.

You can face a blank page with confidence when you use these prompts to warm up, beat writer’s block, develop and maintain a writing habit, change up your routine, start a new project, experiment in a new genre, deepen parts of an existing story, or overcome burnout.

What are you waiting for? Dig in and get writing right now!

Add it on Goodreads
e-book: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / Apple iTunes / Kobo / Smashwords
Pocket paperback (5"x 8", 114 pp.) Amazon / Barnes and Noble / CreateSpace
Workbook (8"x 10", 426 pp.) Amazon / Barnes and Noble / CreateSpace


Q4U: How might you spin this prompt in an unexpected direction? How about as a horror story or an epic poem?

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Riffing on Classic Characters

by Franky A. Brown

The Courtship by Charles Green. Wikimedia commons.

My Austen Inspirations series is loosely based on Jane Austen’s works, some more than others. Emma’s Match features my character, Emma Wallace, a modern version of Austen’s Emma. She first came into being in the second book in the series, None But You, as the heroine’s best friend.

My goal was to craft her personality as closely as I could to Austen’s Emma, while setting her in modern-day South Carolina. She’s well-bred and classy, and while some may see her a snobbish, she has a generous heart and the best intentions when matchmaking her friends. But Emma’s Match is not a simple retelling of the story of Emma Woodhouse and George Knightley. What I set out to do was to take her character, add similarities to the original Emma, but make it my own story. And while None But You has many similarities to Persuasion, it’s also a new story.

Following the original books exactly didn’t work for me; it felt too much like being boxed in. Obviously women of today have more opportunities than women in the early nineteenth century, but human emotion hasn’t changed. The internal struggles women faced then with things like self-image, financial security, and understanding the opposite sex remain today.

Photo: DMedina on morguefile

Using Jane Austen’s characters as a springboard, I allowed myself the freedom to go in new directions. Pride and Butterflies shares simply a theme with Pride and Prejudice: first impressions can go seriously wrong and opinions can change. These heroines are women striving to succeed in building their own businesses, and struggling with personal weaknesses. The leading man either unexpectedly crashes into the back of her car, suddenly reappears seven years after a broken engagement, or lives down the hall and has no idea of her feelings.

All three of the books in this series can be read on their own. They’re filled with clean romance and plenty of humor. Austen, of course, was the first to combine humor and romance.

About the author

Franky A. Brown has always called the South home and loves to write about it. She holds an English degree from the University of South Carolina and can’t seem to stop reading. She is the author of women’s fiction and chick lit about life, love, and Southern women.

Brown started writing her Jane Austen retellings in 2015 with Pride and Butterflies, then None But You. Now she's published Emma's Match, a retelling of Emma by Jane Austen.

About the book

Emma Wallace has a plan up her sleeve to save her struggling design business, but not a clue what do to about the man who has her heart.

Stealing a kiss from Will Knight years ago ended in an embarrassment she didn’t want to repeat. But when a popular new designer in town starts taking her clients and has eyes on Will, too, Emma decides it’s time to fight for what she wants. The perfectly irritating designer she wants to shove into a hole isn’t the only one who can be down-to-earth and likeable. After all, Emma’s never failed at anything...except walking the line between friendship and love. Crossing it again could mean losing Will’s friendship for good.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IJL1XK2/

Giveaway

Franky has generously offered a paperback of Emma’s Match! Use the Rafflecopter to enter. The giveaway will be closed at midnight on October 5th and the winner will be announced around 6AM on the Bookish Orchestration blog on October 6th.

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Tour Schedule

Saturday, October 1

Bookish Orchestrations-Tour Introduction

Rachel Rossano's Words- Excerpt and Character Interview

Perpetual Gardener, Writer, and Mormon-Excerpt

Sunday, October 2

Melanie D. Snitker, Author- Excerpt

Author Franky A Brown-Excerpt

Monday, October 3

Crystal Walton- Excerpt and Book Review

Laurel's Leaves-Guest Post

Tuesday, October 4

Ramblings- Guest Post

Once Upon an Ordinary-Author Interview

Wednesday, October 5

Rachel John Reviews- Book Review

Thursday, October 6

Bookish Orchestrations-Giveaway Winner


If you ever did a modernization of a classic, would you choose to riff on the characters, as Franky does, or to update the plot?

 

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Top Blogging Topics for Writers

Do you struggle to come up with ideas for your blog, writer friends? Well, never fear, I have a handy list to stimulate your thinking about awesome topics sure to draw a big audience, post after post.

Photo credit: jppi from morguefile.com

• Make your romance swoonier with these pretty names for human excretions
• How vowels are destroying your prose
• Fantastik! Using product placement to make your fiction more lucrative
• Inspiring stories from the great nose pickers of literary history
• How to write a novel in just 30 years by agonizing over a sentence a day
• No ifs, ands, or buts: Destroy those pesky conjunctions
• Why redundancy matters
• Develop stronger plots using chicken entrails divination
• How to craft exquisite poems using only Wingdings font
• Tips for combining the styles of James Joyce and Cormac McCarthy to create aggressively unreadable prose
• Punch or punch? How to develop anxiety about homonyms
• How to improve your pacing using detailed descriptions of every character's outfit
• Eight is not enough: How to incorporate more typefaces in your fiction
• Streamline your character names: ambisexual monikers to give every character in your story


Happy April Fool's Day! Do you have a favorite trick or hoax?

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O: Ode to a Dressmaker's Dummy

by Donald Justice (1925 - 2004)

Papier-mache body; blue-and-black cotton jersey cover.
Metal stand. Instructions included.   --Sears, Roebuck Catalogue

Photo credit: jeltovski at morguefile.com

              O my coy darling, still
              You wear for me the scent
         Of those long afternoons we spent,
               The two of us together,
    Safe in the attic from the jealous eyes
                 Of household spies
    And the remote buffooneries of the weather;
                         So high,
    Our sole remaining neighbor was the sky,
              Which, often enough, at dusk,
    Leaning its cloudy shoulders on the sill,
Used to regard us with a bored and cynical eye.

              How like the terrified,
              Shy figure of a bride
         You stood there then, without your clothes,
                  Drawn up into
         So classic and so strict a pose
      Almost, it seemed, our little attic grew
Dark with the first charmed night of the honeymoon.
         Or was it only some obscure
      Shape of my mother's youth I saw in you,
There where the rude shadows of the afternoon
         Crept up your ankles and you stood
         Hiding your s-x as best you could?--
         Prim ghost the evening light shone through.

Source: poets.org

An ode is typically an elaborately structured poem praising or glorifying an event or individual. Among English poets, Keats is considered the master of the form.

Justice, however, isn't glorifying something glorious. By writing an "ode" about a man's bizarre relationship with a dressmaker's dummy, he satirizes love poems generally. This is another instance of form/content dissonance that makes you pause, raise an eyebrow, and perhaps laugh.

What silly thing do you think would make a good topic for a satirical ode?

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The perfection myth

Maybe you're just coming off the high of "winning" NaNo and realize your first draft is, alas, full of flaws.
Maybe you've drawn up a holiday gift-buying list and realize there's no way you can afford all these wonderful gifts you think you must buy for precious family and friends.
Maybe you  have to sing in front of a roomful of people with a pretty serious head cold (that would be me. LOL.)

You're forced to face the fact that you aren't perfect. And if you never bought into the perfection myth, that's no big deal. But if you have, moments like these mean extreme anxiety.

What do I mean by "the perfection myth"? It's an inner script that says:

As long as I do everything just right, I will be safe.

You'll note a few key concepts here. It's very self-focused; it's what I do. It's absolute; I must to everything just right. It's nebulous; "just right" is never defined. It's tied to survival; my very safety depends on it, and the alternative is unthinkably awful.

Last week I heard author Anne Lamott speak (part of a book tour for her latest release, Help, Thanks, Wow), and perfectionism was one of the topics she tackled with wit, honesty and grace. This kind of striving for perfection, especially as I've defined it above, has less to do with being our best selves and more with fear. This kind of perfectionism comes out of the crucible of unpredictable, chaotic environments. Striving to do right is a means of achieving control.

But the fact is, perfectionism promises freedom from fear while creating more anxiety. Because the truth of all of us is that we're broken people. We've been harmed by others and we have weaknesses ourselves. The myth of perfectionism says I'm not safe if I'm not doing everything "just right," therefore, I must cover over all my inadequacies to stay safe.

That, friends, is living a lie. Lamott connected the dots of this to conclude that perfectionism is "the voice of the oppressor," is demonic. By that she means anything that encourages vices--like dishonesty and pride in this case--intends our ultimate ruin and is aligned with all evil.

The divine voice tells us, "You are broken, but you are mine. I love you and will hold and heal you."

Learning to find safety in acceptance by a higher power ("as I understand him," Lamott added, quoting from the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program) involves letting a mess happen and seeing how little it actually effects the people around you. They don't care as much as you think.

The other big antidote to perfectionism is laughter. Lamott called it "carbonated holiness."  Laughter looks at weakness and is not undone by it. Rather, it is thankful for the honesty. Joys in it, in fact.

We stumble, and laugh and know we are frail. We are not the be-all and end-all of the universe. With that attitude, we can love well and create with the kind of honest freedom that brings more light into the world.

Trying to be perfect is a most dangerous game. So laugh when you fall. Your freedom depends on it.

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Do Lamott's observations speak to you?

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Laughter is the best medicine blogfest

Thanks to Leigh T. Moore and Lydia Kang for hosting today's "Laughter is the Best Medicine" blogfest.

We all love bad metaphors and similes as much as...a cow loves yesterday's half-chewed grass sloshing from one stomach to another. Yes indeedy do.

Here are a few more genuine faux gems:

~Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

~It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

~His cover was blown like a man with a neat comb-over turning a windy corner.

~Her eyes were the mesmerizing green of a moldy cucumber liquefying in the vegetable drawer.

~It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

~ With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner.

~He looked at her with the warmth of roadkill on an Arizona highway.

And for those who prefer jokes with punchlines:

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can
prevent florist friars.

Your turn! Give us a good groaner pun, or finish this sentence: Bob was a funny as ____.

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Gift time

So I'm back, bearing gifts (don't worry, I'm not Greek) after an unplugged week that was medium-productive. I'm all set to announce contest winners beginning Wednesday, and I churned through a good pile of editing at my job. The novel revisions are coming. I wish I were a little less anxious about these last two chapters I need to rewrite and wasn't waking several times a night from subplot panics and fears I'll never finish. Then I remember I felt the same way before rewriting chapter 7 and chapter 8 and chapter 9 and I did some pretty bang-up rewrites of that chunk in under six weeks--my crit group had few changes--so maybe I should stop being such a neurotic idiot and get the sleep I need to be productive. Whew. My neurotic side thinks in the craziest run-ons.

So, back to gifts. I have some lovely blog awards to acknowledge and pass along!

The first is the "You Are My Sunshine" Supportive Commenter Award. I received this one from Sarahjayne Smythe over at Writing in the Wilderness.

I pass it along to the following supportive souls who never fail to give me a boost:

Amber at the Musings of Amber Murphy
Anne at Piedmont Writer
Charity at My Writing Journey
Karen at Write Now
Mary at Play off the Page

The second bit of blog bling, "It's Like We're Soulmates," comes from Nicole at One Significant Moment at a Time. With this one, I get to create fun fictions about each of the friends I pass it along to. So here goes.

Carol at Carol's Prints owes her willowy figure to titanium bone extensions implanted at Raidon Academy for Bionic Ninjas. Also, she can kill you with her brain.

Crystal at Write Because You Must developed a new type of watercolor paint that emits fragrance when viewed under a blacklight.

Karen at Novels During Naptime, a champion pairs figure skater, split with her partner when he admitted he prefered Tonya Harding's skating to Nancy Kerrigan's.

Expert hypnotist Sarahjayne at Writing in the Wilderness implants in all her students the suggestion to immediately read Shakespeare whenever they hear the phrase "ohmigosh."

Tricia at Talespinning earns extra spending money as a paparazzi photographer who stalks British ex-pat actors.

Wow, that was fun. Whoever came up with that award rule was a genius.

Which of these invented secret identites or abilities do you wish you had?

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Whoops! Blogfest coming 2.22

Too, too, too embarrassing!
Too, too, too humiliating!
Too, too, too snarf-worthily stupid!

Celebrate 2.22 with a festival of gaffes and blunders.

The Whoops! Blogfest

In the tradition of Kissing Day Blogfest, No-Kiss Blogfest, Fight Blogfest, So-long Blogfest, the Whoops! Blogfest will be an opportunity for bloggers to share favorite clumsy, awkward, embarrassing moments suffered by a character in a WIP, or post links to laughable gaffes from film, YouTube or Fail Blog.

1.) Between now and February 22, write a post about the Whoops! Blogfest to let everyone know you're participating and to encourage them to join the fun. Because who doesn't need a good laugh in a gloomy season?

2.) Sign up for the Whoops! Blogfest by filling in the MckLinky widget below so everyone can easily find your offering on the festival day. Please leave a comment after you sign up.

3.) Polish up your scene and post it on February 22. Show us your genre's unique spin on stupid. Or trawl the deep wells of dumb on YouTube and Fail Blog and post a link to your favorite awkward moment.

4.) Enjoy your fellow participants' gut-busting posts and tell them so!

Let's have too, too, too many laughs on 2.22!

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Too, too, too embarrassing! Whoops! blogfest

Thanks to everyone participating in today's blogfest! I can't wait to pop round to see all your wacky gaffes, bodacious blunders and excruciating embarrassments.

Here's my offering from WIP-1. The setting is Durham Cathedral, in northeast England. My teen protagonist is having a day out with family, and squeezing in a little homework as well.

============

Aunt Cecily motions for me to join her near the quire, where a group of mostly old folks have gathered for cathedral tour. Oh, right, I’m supposed to be doing research for that stupid history presentation. I pack up my sketching supplies and head up the main aisle.

The guide has already started her spiel about the cathedral’s history by the time I reach my aunt. I expected my little cousin to be weaving through Cecily’s legs and swinging back and forth from her purse strap. But Janie’s nowhere to be seen. Maybe she decided to pick up our game of guerrilla stealth with her sister.

“This is not to be missed,” Cecily whispers. “Adèle is the best guide here.”

I get lost in Adèle’s magical voice, the slight Frenchness in her British accent. Every detail seems lusher when she describes it with her whispery consonants and throaty vowels. She leads us into the choir stalls, describing the artisans' techniques for crafting the ornate fretwork that rings the top of the stalls. It’s like an enchanted skyline bristling with Gothic spires. The group fans out and we weave through the rows to get a closer look.

From out of nowhere, a tiny hand grabs my ankle and a piping voice says, “Boo!”

I squawk like a strangled rooster and jump back, crashing into someone behind me. Someone male. He yelps in surprise as we topple onto a pew. A really lumpy pew. It shifts under me—muscle and bone and a pocket full of something I don’t care to think about because holy crap I’m in some old creep’s lap! ACK! I leap up like I scorched my backside on a griddle.

“Sorry, sorry, so sorry!” I gush in a whisper, afraid to make eye contact. I back away, staring at brown wide-wale corduroy legs and huge oxford shoes.

I’m going to kill that twerp Janie! I can’t believe she’d guerrilla stealth me here in the middle of these so-serious geezer tourists.

“’sall right. No worries,” the mysterious male says. Australian words, but the accent is totally London. That’s weird.

“My cousin and I were playing a game and—”

“You’re in big, big, big trouble, miss!” Aunt Cecily jabs my shoulder with each “big.”

“It got a little out of hand,” I finish feebly and finally peek up at my victim. It’s not a grandfatherly sixty-something like I expected, but a college-aged guy with murky eyes. He leans languidly in the pew and slowly slides a finger across his thick lower lip. I turn away, blushing, and see the group moving on toward the high altar.

Aunt Cecily grabs Janie’s slim arm and hisses, “Jane Louise, come out this instant!”

“Sorry, Mummy, sorry!” Janie scrambles to her feet, ashy pale.

“Enough! Both of you, come with me.” Cecily grabs our wrists and drags us from the quire. I hope she knows I’m too old for spankings.

“I’m terribly sorry for squashing you,” I tell the guy I’d sat on.

He smirks and raises an eyebrow. “I’m fine” he mouths, squinting in a way that’s almost…I don’t know, seductive?

Cecily leads us to a chapel off the back of the nave. “So what do you two have to say for yourselves?”

“Sorry,” I mutter. “We shouldn’t horse around in a cathedral. It’s a house of God.”

“Right. And you?”

Janie grins. “Thanks, Mummy!”

“Well done!” Cecily high-fives her.

“She jolly well sounded like a chicken, didn’t she, Mummy?”

“Don’t know—I’ve never heard a person make a sound like that before.”

I goggle at them. “You mean I’m not actually in trouble?”

“Lord, no.” Cecily laughs. “You must know how dead boring this is for Janie. It was awfully good of you to come up with a game to get her through it.”

“But…” I frown at Janie. “You weren’t supposed to tell your mum.”

“You never said that.”

Cecily sniggers. “The chap she sat on, that was a great bonus. And you know what?” She waggles her eyebrows. “I think he rather liked it.”

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Time is running out, sign up today!

We're just days away from some serious fun, but only if you help to make it happen. On Monday, I'll be hosting the Whoops! Blogfest, a festival of gaffes, blunders and embarrassing moments from your work-in-progress, a favorite author, film or YouTube.

Consider this your personal invitation to join in. Please don't reduce me to comment hijacking. Please. I'm abysmal at pushy. You should've seen me attempt to be an Avon Lady. Can we say panic attacks?

Ah, thank you, friends.

How can you help? A few simple things:
Talk it up
Even if you don't do funny, or just can't spare the time, you can be a conduit of information for those who might find the festival fun.

I will be offering a prize to the blogger who can send me the most participants!
Yep, you could win a 10-page critique. From a professional editor. (That would be me, in case you're wondering. I have 14 years' editing experience and a master's degree in journalism. Oh, and I was #1 in my graduating class. Just sayin', this is a pretty good prize, folks.)

Remind your followers to tell me who sent them, so you are credited for your promotional efforts.

Participate
-Sign up HERE.
-Let folks know you're participating by mentioning it on your own blog and/or Twitter. You could win a 10-page critique for sending me the most participants.
-Polish your scene and post it on Monday 2/22. Show us your genre's unique spin on stupid.
-Visit other participants' blogs, enjoy their offerings and tell them so.

Need some convincing that blogfests are worth doing? Check out this post.

Let's have too, too, too many laughs on 2/22!

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The serious business of folly

Is it OK to laugh during Lent? It's a question I wrestled with when I first got the idea to host a humor-themed blogfest.

I'm new to observing Lent; the church I now attend, a liturgical Presbyterian church plant, has only existed since 2006. Reconnecting to more historic expressions of Christianity has been quite the learning experience, since I grew up low-church evangelical.

One of the passages read at Ash Wednesday services hit squarely at my thinking about Lenten observations:
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." --Matt. 6:16-18

Basically, the moment you get to thinking "Look at me, I'm so pious!" you've lost any real spiritual benefit. Lent isn't about looking pious, it's about reorienting yourself in a God direction, making yourself teachable by pushing away stuff that distracts you.

So that gets me past practicing Lent as hair shirts and wallowing. But does that really open the way for humor?

Yes. Because there's one thing I know for sure:
God makes human wisdom look foolish.

He promises a barren elderly couple they'll parent a great nation.
They give God derisive laughter, and he gives them Isaac (laughter).

Story after story is just like this. Reversals. Weird commands that rescue: smear blood on your doorposts, walk around Jericho seven times, let only those who drink from the stream like a dog go to battle.

It's moments of weakness and stupidity that bring the humility necessary to change and grow. Those who can't laugh at their own folly only become hardened in it.

So come, friends, let us revel in the folly that leads to growth.

How have you used humiliations and reversals to shape your characters?
(To join in the Whoops! Blogfest on Monday 2/22, sign up HERE.)

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The best gift: getting published

It's been sooo hard to keep this under wraps, but one of my pieces was published today in the Winter 09-10 issue of Flashquake! "Wedding Singer" is the true story of one of my stranger experiences as a vocalist. Click the linked title to go directly to the piece.

It might be an encouragement to others of you seeking publication to know the history of this piece. It's had a very slow journey to the public eye. The wedding portrayed in the piece happened in November 1991 and I journaled it at the time.

Flash forward to the mid-1990s when I took a feature-writing journalism course in grad school. I'd turned in an early draft of this piece for an assignment--a short nonfiction piece expressing point of view. I don't recall the teacher having an especially positive response, probably due to the complete lack of "newsworthiness" of my topic. (A downside of having your employer foot the bill for your master's coursework is they dictate you study something "job-related," thus I got stuck somewhat unhappily in journalism school, where it's all about newsworthy facts.)

Flash forward yet again to last winter. I'd been cleaning out a file drawer and unearthed a folder of random grad school papers. I came across this assignment and got a chuckle out of it. I sent it to some friends on Facebook and got a huge response. The idea of submitting it for publication hadn't occurred to me, partly because it's such a short piece. Enter my friend and critique partner Simon, who got me up to speed on the whole "flash fiction" phenomenon last spring. As I experimented with writing the flash fiction form and started looking to submit pieces, I found that some magazines, like Flashquake, also take nonfiction. Remembering the positive response to the draft, I gave it a dusting down and sent it out. I got an acceptance on the first try.

Moral of the story: look through those files of random stuff every so often. You might have the germ of something publishable in there.

And speaking of Simon, I'd be remiss if I didn't share his good news: he ALSO got published in the same issue of Flashquake, and his fiction piece "Rise, Lazarus," which I'd had the privilege to critique, is one of the editors' picks! Way to go, Simon! You are an inspiration!

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Austen remixed

Quirk Books, publisher of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, will be releasing its next edition in the series, Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters. Take a look at this "trailer" for the book. Absolutely brilliant!

Here's my bid for the next volume in the series:

Mansfield Park and Mutants

Fanny Price looks like a normal girl, but her family sends her away to live with rich relatives because of her distrubing power of X-ray vision. She and her cousin Edmund (future clergyman who can put opponents to sleep with his sonorous voice) will fight the evil Mr. Yates, Mr. Rushworth, and the Crawfords for control of Mansfield.

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