8 signs you're doing better than you think you are: writers' edition

Photo credit: Alvimann from morguefile.com

I admit, this title is partially ripped off a post one of my Millennial friends linked on Facebook from a site called "Thought Catalog," meant to help folks feel less like a lost cause because, hey, they do this "adulting" thing with at least minimum competence. And they aren't starving or being carpet-bombed. Win!

Since only a handful of you lovely readers leave comments, I don't know how far to go in making sweeping generalizations about those who read this blog. However, I think the following is likely true if you've decided to stop by here today.

1. You have some degree of fluency in English.

Native English speakers, do you have any idea how blessed you are? English is one of the world's most difficult languages to master. Its grammar is difficult, its spelling and pronunciation seems to follow almost no rules at all, and its vocabulary is mind-blowingly huge.

People the world over are shelling out a fortune to have what you have. And believe me, even people with PhDs in English for whom it is their second language often don't write as well as a native-speaking high schooler. So to my teen readers, go you! You can write far more fluidly than the university English department chairs in many developing countries.

And visitors learning English, you are my heroes! Keep adding vocabulary. Keep reading. Keep working hard at your writing. You are doing something phenomenal!

2. You read books.

In fact, if you read at least one book in the past year, you're doing better than one out of every five Americans. (You can read more stats at The Decline of the American Book Lover.) You've likely heard the maxim about putting in 10,000 hours to become an expert at something, but have you also heard the related reading one? That reading about your field for an hour a day will make you an expert in seven years? That should tell you that this one habit can be a powerful force in your life.

Books offer many benefits over other forms of entertainment. Every little bit you do grows your knowledge base and vocabulary. Reading fiction has been linked to increased empathy.

3. You're interested in something besides celebrity gossip.

I blame Facebook for this being on my radar as well. In this video, a reporter went to a college campus and asked basic history and civics questions, like "who won the Civil War?" and "who is our vice president?" The kids overwhelmingly couldn't answer correctly, unless the questions were about a celebrity, then bingo! correct answers every time.

Since you're on my humble page rather than stalking a Kardashian, you are doing a lot better than most at developing into a multi-dimensional person. Go, you!

4. You're seeking to improve yourself.

It's far easier to stick to what you know than to try new things. But you writers are real go-getters. Yes, even those of you who agonize over every word. Who are riddled with self-doubt. Who won't show anyone--not even your cat--what you've written. Because you aren't content to stick to what you know. You are moving toward change.

5. You care about creating something new.

Our world is so fast-paced, it can be overwhelming or conversely fill a person with ennui. But not you. You have stories that demand to be told and you care about them. You're not content to passively sit by and wait for some great tale to come out of Hollywood. No, you're out there in the trenches with your Bic pens and  your laptops and your voice-to-text software dreaming up new worlds, new adventures, new imaginary people that will change readers' lives forever.

6. You have goals.

You might not have a clear sense where this germ of an idea is going, but you are following it to some kind of conclusion. This manuscript has been on your hard drive for a while and more than anything you want to type "the end" on it. You think one more editing pass is probably a good idea for this quadruple-revised and beta-read manuscript. You sent ten more queries to agents about a manuscript you love.

Wherever you are in the process, that you're IN process with a writing project is amazing. Did you know "write a book" is one of the most common "bucket list" items? If you've so much as dreamed an idea for one, you're on your way to something most people hope to accomplish at least once in their lifetime.

7. You have doubts.

Only those with serious psychological problems never have doubts. Doubts are a sign that you take yourself and your creative drive seriously, and that you are taking risks in what you try to write. Doubts make you dig deeper to find the true heart of every story, rather than settle on the first idea that popped into your head at 2 a.m. Doubt is a tool of a craftsman who seeks to continually improve.

8. You're seeking support among like-minded people.

Mentoring has been shown to be a vital ingredient to success. Even if you don't have face-to-face contact with writer-mentors, visiting blogs like mine can be a powerful way to connect to other writers, gain support and advice, and be an encourager to others as well.

Study after study of what makes people happy name "positive social connections" at the very top of their lists. So by networking on social media with people who care about the same things you do, you are also doing a great deal to become a happier person. How cool is that?

Any others that you would add? 

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Five tips for diversifying your cast

Photo credit: Prawny from morguefile.com 

Last year, a handful of authors began an initiative called "We Need Diverse Books" to raise awareness about  the lack diversity in traditionally published children's books. Librarians and educators have joined them. In their mission statement, they clarify what they mean by diverse:

We recognize all diverse experiences, including (but not limited to) LGBTQIA, people of color, gender diversity, people with disabilities*, and ethnic, cultural, and religious minorities.

*We subscribe to a broad definition of disability, which includes but is not limited to physical, sensory, cognitive, intellectual, or developmental disabilities, chronic conditions, and mental illnesses (this may also include addiction). Furthermore, we subscribe to a social model of disability, which presents disability as created by barriers in the social environment, due to lack of equal access, stereotyping, and other forms of marginalization. 

(Source: http://weneeddiversebooks.org/mission-statement/)

Whether or not you agree with their assertion that the types of people listed above are underrepresented, and whether or not you like their language for describing the issue, the group certainly has statistics on their side, at least when it comes to kidlit. And you don't have to look far in our world to see the problems created when various groups misunderstand and mistrust one another. Literature can be a bridge for building cross-cultural understanding and empathy.

Perhaps you don't write kidlit. But do you write nothing but characters who resemble you in most ways? If so, it might be time to rethink that.

It's true that some communities are fairly ethnically homogeneous. But even they will naturally contain some of the  groups mentioned above. (I'd note WNDB doesn't discuss the ageist bias against elderly characters).

So how does one go about building fictional worlds that aren't Mayberry or Stepford?

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Learn what the stereotypes are

It can be easy to think we're successfully diversifying our casts by including a brainy Asian best friend or a wise wheelchair-bound mentor. But both of these characterizations are based on standing stereotypes about these groups--that Asians are naturally top scholars and that disability brings magical powers of wisdom or observation. Stereotypes can be hard to identify in our own thinking because they are ingrained expectations and ways of interpreting situations that are constantly reinforced by majority culture. They are the "beam in your own eye" that prevent you from seeing correctly (to quote from Matt 7:3).

A good place to start educating yourself is the TV Tropes "Magical Minority Person" page, which describes numerous stereotyped depictions of diverse characters often shunted into supporting roles.

Read diverse books

You very well may have to go outside your genre to find work by authors of other ethnicities, or at least to bookshops outside your neighborhood.

Listen to the cadence of books translated from other languages. Look for diverse thematic concerns. What values are rewarded and vices punished in communities unlike your own?

Expand your study

Do you find yourself drawn to particular cultures and subcultures? Read all you can about them, and seek out all their modes of creative expression. Learn all you can about historical shaping forces and how those play into a culture's self-concept and dreams for tomorrow.

Think about how what you learned could press against or defy certain stereotypes about that group. Consider what traits might marginalize a person even in that minority, and what traits would mark him/her a "winner" or leader.

Listen and ask

If you're able to get to know individuals that belong to the minority group you'd like to depict, be genuine and vulnerable. Don't treat them like lab specimens. Ask them questions you would any friend you'd want to know more deeply and be equally willing to share your own stories.

Where did you grow up? What was that like?
What did you love and hate most about your childhood?
What do you like to do for fun as a kid?
What careers did you aspire to?
Who were your heroes?
How did you fit in or stand out in your family, school, neighborhood?
What "borders" have you had to cross in your life? What has that been like?
What bugs you about mainstream media portrayals of your neighborhood?
What do you wish outsiders knew about your community?

If you develop a character based on your friend's stories, let the friend beta read before you finalize your manuscript, to ensure your depiction isn't off base.

Encamp

It's difficult to do another culture justice until you've inhabited it yourself. There's only so much that reading books, watching movies, listening to music, and even interviewing can provide. If you find you want to take the big leap and write a protagonist from a group to which you don't belong (versus a supporting character), it may be necessary to live for a time among that group. Actually walking through a neighborhood, learning its smells and flavors, feeling your heart thump at its dangers or soar at its delights--those experiences will give you the most realistic details to use in your work. Otherwise, you're likely to resort to stereotype and trope.

The people you meet and observe day after day will provide the best characterization details, the most accurate lingo for dialogue, and the most compelling backstories. Just be sure to create composites of several real people, or disguise them by changing key details (age, gender, appearance).

Have you written characters outside the cultural groups to which you belong? What tips would you add?

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Beware of committing these Twitter turnoffs

In the past, I was pretty reticent to join Twitter. The stream design felt overwhelming, and the brevity of what could be posted seemed to favor witty one-liners over genuine engagement. But since 2012, I've learned the ropes a bit and see the benefits of the medium.

image: www.goingmobo.com

I also see a lot of habits among some tweeps that aren't compatible with my goal of making genuine connections with readers and a supportive author community.

Maybe that isn't why you're on Twitter. Fine, but don't take it personally if I choose to unfollow or even block you for some of the following behaviors.

Numbers hounds

There are a cluster of habits that point to a tweep's primary desire to have a high follower count. Unless someone is a genuine celebrity, having a followers count that is disproportionately higher than follows tells me this person cares only about appearing popular or famous.

Here are some typical numbers hound behaviors:

Random follows
This type follows every last person their followers follow, even if there is not one single point of intersection of interests. Doing this makes you look like a bot account. I will assume you hired a click farm if you have no apparent interest in the things listed in my profile.

Repeated follow, unfollow, refollow
If I choose not to follow you, it's usually because your content doesn't interest me, not because I didn't notice you. Dropping and adding over and over just so you show up in my feed merely makes you annoying. Do it enough and I'll block you.

Favorite-never-follow
Folks who repeatedly favorite my content, but when I follow them abruptly stop doing so and ignore me are clearly only motivated in building their follower counts. If you like my content, connect, but don't play stupid games like this. I'll thank you for your favorites, but I won't follow.

Pushy types

These folks want to connect, which is great, but they overstep the boundaries without taking the time to adequately build a relationship first.

Here are some behaviors I deem pushy:

Aggressive mentions
These folks drop my Twitter name into tweets with their random musings, or with information about their book for sale. Folks, this is what your own Twitter stream is for. If I'm interested, I'll favorite or retweet. But using the mention function in this way is like being a door-to-door salesman. It's invasive.

Reserve mentions for interacting with something I said, to thank me, to let me know you're giving a shout out about something I did that you liked (shared useful info., wrote a book you loved, gave helpful advice, that sort of thing).

Nonstop sales stream
If your tweets are constant "buy my book" or constant sales pitches of others, it's going to feel like nothing but noise rather than connection.

If you've been guilty of this, make sure you add value-added tweets to your stream. Use the #Discover and search for helpful #writingtips or #inspiration to retweet. If nothing else, go hit up a quotes website, gather some inspirational messages and schedule regular doses of nice and "you can do it" among the sales. I'm willing to bet those tweets will garner you the most followers. Everyone needs more positivity.

Tit-for-tat offers
If you choose to like my FB author page, great, but don't tell me you liked it and I ought to like yours back. You know why? Facebook algorithms will screw us both over if our author pages are full of fake fans. The REAL fans are exponentially less likely to see new content.

If you like my books and my page, and are genuinely seeking to be my champion. God bless you. But for Pete's sake, don't do it to oblige me to owe you favors. That's really just a form of extortion.

Offensive content
If your stream is filled with hate speech, foul language, constant put downs, whining and complaints, or p0rnographic material, I'm going to unfollow. I'm clearly not your target audience.

Note that I said "filled"--occasional grousing is normal, as is occasional salty language. But venomous verbal attacks of things I care about are not great connection-makers or conversation starters.

And erotica writers, please don't read it as "judging you" when writers of other genres like me don't follow back. Maybe we're judging ourselves, as in, I know what things would tempt me to be unfaithful to my marriage, at least in my imagination, which Jesus taught is bad for me and which St. Paul taught me to flee from. Also, I write Christian YA and I carefully curate my follows so that my part of the Twittersphere is a safe place for teens who want to live a life of faith.

Direct messages: the gray area

I have really mixed feelings about DMs. Here are the kinds of DMs I see regularly, and how I feel about them:

TrueTwit notifications
If I get a TrueTwit notification, I'll know you are carefully curating your feed, which is totally legitimate, if a bit of a hassle for me. I get not wanting bot accounts bothering you.

However, bot accounts tend to unfollow pretty quickly if you ignore them. So do other annoying types mentioned above (except the follow/unfollow/refollow--those you have to block). In the meantime, this hoop you require new followers to jump though is likely to turn away good, genuine connections who don't have time for your hoop routine. Consider ditching TrueTwit, and simply follow back only those accounts with interesting content.

Buy links
This is just a private version of aggressive mentions. I ignore these.

I'd prefer you showed me in your feed that your book is one I want to read. Show me cover art, share interesting interviews you gave to bloggers, share snippets, that sort of thing--in your own feed.

Other site links
Mostly these are tit-for-tat Facebook like "suggestions"--like my page, I'll like yours. I highly doubt the like I give will be returned. And I don't really want fake fans anyway. I ignore these requests also.

Better that you periodically tweet your FB page link (a few times of week max), so that your real fans can find it.

Bizarre comments or threats or links
I assume your account has been hacked if you tell me someone is spreading rumors, or you ask for financial help, or you send a condensed link with a vague teaser like "you won't believe this!" I might do a mention ("@joeschmoe bogus DMs are being sent from your account") in hopes you will see it, and then unfollow you just to distance myself from your hacker.

Get-to-know-you questions
These can be wonderful or just weird.

A good one might be, "I liked the blog post you shared about dialect.  What book or author do you think does that well?" or "I loved the Harry Potter books, too. Which is your favorite?" or something along those lines. It shows that you engage with my content and want connection. As long as you don't require great effort for me to answer ("how can I get published?") or get too personal ("are you married?"), I will likely interact.

If it's clear you have a stock question that's auto-sent to every follower, ones that tie to your content but show no knowledge of mine, I'm apt to ignore. "Who are your favorite cowboy hero's?" was one such question posed to me. That assumes I like cowboy romances--I don't--and that I don't mind grammatical errors like your inability to make the word hero plural (it's heroes, silly). I promptly unfollowed this writer, despite the good writing tips she shared in her feed. The DM made it clear she's far more interested in selling and engaging with readers than being part of a writing community.

Free content
This is actually a decent tactic, giving a Twitter follower access to free content like a short story, if they'd like to know more about you and your writing style/genre/themes. It is a gift that invites deeper connection, a generous gesture.

I'd caution to not do this with brand-new followers. Interact for a while first. Otherwise, it will seem pushy.

Requests to connect elsewhere or promo opportunities
Sometimes folks use DMs to ask how to connect on sites like Goodreads or Pinterest, because they'd like to connect there too. That's perfectly fine. I'll answer when I have time to respond.

I've been offered guest posts through DM also. The most effective ones say something complimentary about my content and give a link, so I can see what their site is like. Because I write religious fiction, I have to take care to stick with sites that aren't promoting erotica or occult material. That's just basic branding.

So if you want to reach out to followers this way, think value-added and friendly, helping connection.

What Twitter behaviors do you consider turnoffs? What alternate suggestions do you have for folks who've made these mistakes?

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Blogging like it's 2009

I admit I shamelessly stole this post title from YA author Sara Zarr. (Though, to be fair, she used the year 2006.) In a recent post, she discussed the gradual shift in her blogging style away from personal posts to podcasts, largely interviews with other authors about creative life.

That's astonishingly brilliant! I'd tell her so if  I had hands.

What struck me about her post was this: "I’m leaving comments off because I really do think that part of blogging is dead (or nearly dead, or at worst gets resurrected as a terrifying zombie made out spam and hate)." I've definitely noticed a trend of diminishing blog commenting, not only here, but on very high-traffic blogs like Janice Hardy's Fiction University. I haven't yet had the displeasure of having to wade through piles of spammy or hateful comments. Mostly, it's just very, very quiet.

You'd think no one cared about blogs anymore.

Except the stats say otherwise. My posts these days average 200 views. Back in 2010, my peak blogging year, a really popular post might garner 80 views and about 40 comments. The ratio of reads to comments could be as high as 50%. Levels of engagement were generally higher. But it came at a cost: you had to keep reaching new readers and comment on their blogs, or the comments would dry up quickly.

I went through a period last year that I burned myself out trying to keep reaching, reaching, reaching like I'd done in 2009 and 2010 and 2011. But engagement would be reciprocated only on a tit-for-tat basis, if at all. I'd have to comment on twenty blogs to get five comments. Talk about discouraging.

And time wasting! I'd meant to finish a book or two last year. I didn't. I think I wasted entirely too much time trying to get 2010 results in a 2014 reality.

Direct engagement on blogs has been on the wane since 2012. I think it's because walking into someone else's space and making remarks is a weird thing to do, when you think about it. You don't typically wander into your neighbors' homes and offer your opinion of their decor, after all. Blogs are really more effective, I've found, for information sharing and educating, rather than building ties.

Other forums are proving more apt for interactions. Facebook is where I'm more likely to have quality back-and-forth,and where most of my former "blogging buddies" now gather (you can friend me HERE if you wish). I haven't entirely hit my stride on Twitter (having to be so pithy feels like writing haiku; I'd rather clean toilets). I use it mostly to share useful things I come across, to make an occasional snarky comment, and to generate traffic for my best blog posts.

I've appreciated Anne R. Allen bringing to my attention the idea of "slow blogging," Write higher quality posts less often and you'll have built something people will be drawn to.

Even if  they don't comment.

I'm becoming more and more okay with that. Are  you?

Dare I ask...What do  you think? Is blog commenting genuinely on the wane? Or is there some deep secret I've been missing?

Photo credit: Mlphoto from morguefile.com

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Better together: Building accountability into your writing routine

I'm a last born, which means I have a bit of a rebellious streak. I always like ideas best if I feel they aren't being forced on me by some authority figure. Who wants some bossy person breathing down your neck all the time?

Well, anyone who wants to get things accomplished. Having a rebellious streak not only gets you into scrapes with teachers, directors, managers, or other authorities, it also can keep you stuck in unproductive patterns.

Photo credit: vahiju from morguefile.com

Accountability to another party--not necessarily a bossy person, mind you--can keep you on track far more than going it alone. Why else would NaNoWriMo be such a popular program? Nothing is stopping you from picking any month you like, say January or July, to generate 50,000 words. What NaNo offers is a vast web of accountability, a mob of positive peer pressure to show up and do what you promised to show up and do.

Sadly, NaNo is only a month long. Some writers are able to maintain the relationships they develop then, others, shamed by failing to meet their goals, disengage.

I don't necessarily think we need more rigid programs to help with accountability, but I do believe all of us can benefit from having a someone or some group/team to whom we report about what we're up to.

Here are some ways to build an accountability structure.

Journal your progress

Sometimes you most need some visual reminder that you are showing up to write. When you hit a moment of self-loathing, you have a document you can hold in your hands to that proves you aren't actually a lazy slob. On days when you feel like you're spinning your wheels, you can see how far you've come and draw strength from it.

Roseanne Bane's Around the Writer's Block has some great advice about making commitments with yourself regarding process time (creative play) and product time (working on some aspect of research, drafting, revision, or marketing). As you mark your daily progress and see success with building a habit, she notes, the pleasure chemicals in your brain give you added reinforcement. You want to keep meeting goals and recording it. It feels great to succeed.

Seek social media accountability

I've found it helpful in distracted periods to declare my daily goal on Twitter, then check in again later in the day to report on my progress. Nothing like having your intentions exposed so publicly to make you eager to follow through.

Others use participate in "What's Up Wednesday" on their blogs to be accountable for progressing with projects (and to help them generate blog content and stay connected).

Have an accountability partner

A friend helped me get back into writing after years away by simply asking that I bring her pages each month when we met for coffee. She didn't care what I wrote, so long as I appeared with pages in hand. After a few meetings, I had the beginnings of a novel.

Participate in a writing group

A face-to-face group can be a great place to build accountability, either for you to produce work or to be developing your craft in some way. I participate in a group to which I bring up to two chapters per month for critique. Others in the group prefer to distribute whole drafts outside of meeting times, using meetings to simply report how they are progressing, and offer fellow writers critiques. The group meetings are often boisterous as we get excited about each other's works in progress and toss around creative ideas to overcome plot holes or other snags in the process.

Perhaps a looser group, such a "Write in" session at a local cafe or library might be all you need. Once again, NaNoWriMo has a forum to join or create such a group.

Find a mentor

Mentoring is like a more intimate teacher/student relationship, in which a less experienced person seeks the guidance of a more experience person. No matter where you are in the journey, you can benefit from this sort of relationship either as a mentor or a protege (this is the once widely-used term from someone who is mentored, before consultants invented the goofy word "mentee" that sounds like someone who belongs in an asylum).

A mentor might function more like an accountability partner with some wisdom for you, or more like a teacher/coach who doles out assignments, cheers you on, and gives you constructive feedback about what you're doing well and where you need to improve.

Professional associations like SCBWI for children's writers offer formal mentoring programs. Or you could seek out connections at places like Query Tracker forums, WANA Tribe (the acronym stands for "we are not alone"), Nathan Bransford's forums, or as I mentioned earlier, NaNoWriMo forums.

You might even have some potential mentor material in your own back yard. Connect with a local chapter of your genre's professional association, take a continuing education class, visit book signings. The perfect person to guide you might be closer than you realize.

Do you have accountability in your writing life? What avenues might you try to get it?

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Underrated Treasure Blogfest

Thanks to our host Alex Cavanaugh for coming up with this fun fest theme, "Underrated Treasure," in which we share a favorite movie, band/artist, TV show, or book (any or all categories). As my bio blurb over to the right says, I'm an indie film enthusiast, so I thought I'd talk about my very favorite indie film that I suspect many of you haven't heard of.

Film - Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

Available for streaming or on DVD

A young man purchases a life-sized, anatomically-correct doll off the Internet and is convinced she is real.

Sounds like a set up for a hilarious romp involving sexual deviancy, right? Prepare to be surprised, because from this bizarre premise comes one of the most touching, insightful, profound films about love and community I've ever seen. More accurately, I'd blurb it as "A small-town community rallies to help a man suffering from a delusion." But I guess that's not as sexy.

What I love most about this film is the psychological puzzle at its core. WHY does Lars suddenly develop a delusion? How have his past and present circumstances conspired to make him need this kind of extreme coping mechanism? Little by little we're given clues, beginning from the very first scene when Lars's pregnant sister-in-law invites him to breakfast, and he answers the door wearing a baby blanket like a scarf. The visual motif of the color pink is tied to the psychological puzzle. In true indie film fashion, we get all the information we need, bit by bit, until the cause of Lars's psychological issues becomes abundantly clear without the screenwriter ever resorting to a Hollywood-style bash-you-over-the-head pronouncement.

I also love what this film teaches about how communities could (and should) act when someone is hurting--by taking the humble path of getting down into the ditch with that hurting person. The local Lutheran church, full of very ordinary, no-frills Midwestern folk are at the center, asking, "how can we help?" and, with absolutely no irony, "what would Jesus do?"

Here's the trailer:




Have you seen this underrated treasure? Have I convinced you to give it a try?

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Refined by fire

While doing a filing cabinet purge, I came across a year-in-review letter from one of the most difficult years of my adult life, 1993. I was a young, post-college girl in my first job as a reporter and editor on a trade publication for the natural gas industry. Go ahead. Laugh. The third grader inside is surely thinking about beans and bodily processes, not drilling, pipelines and seasonal fuel price spikes.

This particular year, I experienced in a somewhat literal way the effects of being "refined by fire." The now cliche phrase comes from goldsmiths who purify gold by burning away the impurities.

= = =

The Monday following the worst blizzard of winter, I was scheduled to fly to Houston to attend a trade show, The Houston Gas Fair. With every major road closed and the airport congested with three days' worth of stranded travelers, I was still able to make the flight within five minutes of takeoff [this was long before 9/11 and any airport security]. Not bad considering I had to dig my car out of 18 inches of snow, drive an icy circuitous route, pick up my boyfriend who could drive the car home, and dash like O.J. Simpson through the terminal with a suitcase, briefcase, and 2 huge displays.

Once I arrived and set up the booth, it was great fun to meet in person all the industry people I'd regularly interviewed over the phone. But as they spread the story of how I miraculously escaped the snowed-in East coast, my booth had a steady stream of new visitors wanting to hear my story. Apparently almost no one else coming from Philly, D.C., Baltimore, New York, Boston, or any other points northeast had made it to the trade show. I was feeling like the miracle girl. It wasn't until I returned to Philadelphia that I learned just how much.

The day after I returned from Texas, a high school friend called to ask how my parents were doing. I was a bit taken off guard. Was something wrong?

Yes, she informed me. Didn't I know about the two-alarm house fire?

WHAT?????

Photo credit: taliesin from morguefile.com 

It took about twenty four hours to locate my parents, in part because their home phone wasn't working and I had to rely on my high school friend to help me get phone numbers for the neighbors and my parents' pastor. [How we suffered before cell phones and the Internet!] The next-door neighbors had taken my parents in, and eventually I got to hear details.

My mother had been out of town on business and my retired father was home alone working on a project in the basement when the fire broke out. He heard a loud noise, went upstairs to investigate and immediately saw the smoke. Had it not been for that noise, he might not have escaped the fire alive.

Dad ran to neighbors' house and called the fire department. Two squads came out to put out the blaze. In the fire marshal's subsequent investigation, he concluded that arcing at an electrical outlet (when something is only partially plugged in) was crossed by a long curtain and it caught on fire. The blaze spread from there. The heat was so intense that the porcelain of the master bath toilet exploded, shoes in the closet melted, many of the windows burst.

I drove back to my hometown and spent a week helping my folks assess the damage and getting them back on their feet again. About a third of the structure sustained heavy damage and more than half of the contents were destroyed. During my time home, we dug through the sooty rubble in 30-degree temperatures and inventoried as much as we could of the destroyed contents. We also found a rental house for my parents and hired a contractor to repair the house.

The response from the neighbors and my parent's church was overwhelming. Food, clothing, household items and cash poured in. New church attendees my parents had never met appeared with casseroles and yet more clothing. Countless people pitched in with salvage, cleaning, and laundering.

Sometimes it takes a disaster to show you just how much your community loves you. That alone is priceless.

Being well insured was another gift in this particular experience. I hadn't taken all my belongings to Philadelphia with me. I lost thousands of dollars worth of books, clothes, and personal effects. The insurance payout for it became my sustenance later in the year when I got laid off from the natural gas publication and spent two months on unemployment.

Because of the fire money, I was able to move from the suburbs into the the city. I landed a far better job with excellent benefits, including tuition reimbursement. [Hello, free master's degree.]

Looking back on all this twenty-one years later, I come to a question. When things happen in your life, how do you decide whether they are good or bad?

I didn't mention that the fire, yes the fire, led my boyfriend to break it off with me because I wasn't giving him enough attention. It seemed like adding insult to injury at the time. But in hindsight, I'm glad to have gotten free of a guy who was clearly not for me in any sense.

I can see now that the persistence I learned trying to get on that plane to Houston served me well when helping my mom wade through the waist-deep charred remains of their coat closet, seeking a few less-burned fibers to identify each lost coat.

This experience helped me learn to accept the help and embrace of others. Letting others be strong for you is a gift to them. Generosity has a funny way of expanding everyone's hearts, both the receiver and the giver.

But most of all, I don't look at my circumstances now and assume they're the last word. The good times are a gift, but so are the hardships. Hardships are where real growth happens.

How have hard moments in your past shaped you?

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Book love builds community

One of my neighbors is a wonderfully eccentric homeschooling mom who painted her Edwardian-era home purple, gold and teal and keeps chickens in her tiny yard, a block from the commuter rail station. She's often out in her garden with her rough-and-tumble girls, teaching them about plant life cycles or reading poetry.

So when an adorable miniature house full of books appeared at her front gate, painted to match the main house, I thought it was another one of Sue's cool new ideas. Share books! Meet neighbors! The "Little Free Library" sign, I believed, must be a riff on Philadelphia's public library system, called "The Free Library of Philadelphia."

While perusing this month's O, the Oprah Magazine, I came across a brief article on a very special organization behind Sue's box. Apparently there's an international movement of "take a book, leave a book," neighborhood by neighborhood.

The Little Free Library is a charity that helps individuals (folks like you and me) foster literacy and build community in their neighborhoods. You can order kits from their site and place a miniature lending library on your property. Register your library with LFL to receive extra support. The organization also is active in providing books to the third world to promote global literacy.

Here are a few more adorable libraries to inspire you:

Habitat for the Humanities (clever, right?)

A book barn!

A very classy library.

Go check it out, my book-loving friends! This might be just the thing your neighborhood needs.

If you could custom-design a box for your yard, what would it look like? What books might you share with your neighbors?

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Going global

Today I have the exciting privilege to be a featured guest at New Zealand blog YAlicious (going international makes me all kinds of excited!). Melissa and Brenda are fantastically supportive of indie authors--please go check out their awesome blog!

I love how our Internet-connected world enables us to build relationships with English-speaking writers and readers all over the globe. No longer is it an obstacle that Melissa and Brenda are across the international dateline from me (through the yesterday/tomorrow conversations get a bit confusing); we can correspond easily. When I think back to the paper and pen days of my childhood, having a pen pal in Texas was exotic for a Pennsylvanian. Now I have online friends in western Canada, South Africa, India, Australia and all over Europe. It's an exciting time to a writer, don't you think?

What benefits do you see in the Internet-connected writing and reading community?

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Six ways to support writers

Today I'm over at Lynn Simpson's blog, Connecting Stories, talking about the importance of support, both as a theme in my novel, and in my own life as a creative person. I also suggest six ways to offer support and encouragement to writers.

One way I could really use support today is votes for my sample chapters on Wattpad. It's a great place for my target audience to discover my book, provided they know it exists. Could some of you lovely blog buddies take a moment to pop over and vote it to greater visibility? THANKS!

How have you been encouraged and supported as a writer? How do you wish others in your world would support you? 

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