Showing posts with label Robert Crumb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robert Crumb. Show all posts

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Paravan, paṛaiyan, untouchable, pariah.

(singular: paṛaiyan, plural: paṛaiyar)

or Truth will out. Not!
Up, Down, Appendices, Postscript.

Leonard Cohen: Songs from a Room, Bird on the Wire.Music up-front this week: Lenny Cone and his Bird on the Wire, the original 1969 version (both lyrics below).

If there was a moment when Bob & Lennie stood side by each and Lennie came up short it was when they were talking in some video I saw and Lennie says how hard he works to make a song and Bob says, no, I just do it ... which is why there is no later version in this post (they are around, you can find them) by our Leonard himself, he might have left well enough alone, or not. Oh yeah, I know Bob changes his songs about every time he sings 'em - but that's sort of exactly the difference.

So ... & Joe Cocker & Rita Coolige.

How black does it get eh? :-)It seems weak to introduce an unnecessary and pretentious 'thee' into it, hinting at divinity; which hint is not quite balanced by about the blackest humour ever seen in k-k-Canadian art: 'I will make it all up to thee.'

... & Willie Nelson too, & the Neville Brothers & finally Johnny Cash (because his voice quavers, almost ruined, and because I like the way he almost chokes on the word 'drunk').

Here, I have made a YouTube Playlist - might make it easier for y'all - seems that playlists repeat too, 'automatically' or 'electronically' (as Eddie would say).

Mr. Natural 'Don't mean sheeit ...'Last week the compost heap was turning around the wreckage left by two stories from 'the Subcontinent', so the Hindu gods & goddesses were no more than methane, rising up unbidden from rotting thoughts of so long ago (just in case you thought I actually knew something about Shakti & Kali and the rest).

But then again, who has not thought of himself or herself as Arjuna taking instruction from the God of all Creation? Or some comestible equivalent?

First was a historical novel from Bangladesh, A Golden Age by Tahmima Anam which softened me up.

Something in the first chapter grabbed my guts - 'like a wrench' as we used to say in high-school - a mother forced to give up her children by the courts & petty tyranny (that plays so rough). Ai ai ai! The mother in me has been there and had to do that - so I was captured by it.

As I read it again, that first chapter does not move me so deeply - quite conventional prose really, sentimental bourgeois clap-trap. So - it takes two to Tango then? Is that it?

Nonetheless there was a killing one-two punch; because for no particular reason the next thing that came my way from the library was Arundhati Roy's, The God of Small Things, and again, the first chapter ... just the last few phrases of it really, held me in thrall, not pleasantly y'unnerstan'. (Threal was a place I think? In Voyage to Arcturus was it? Funny how this memory gear still engages the odd time.)

Blake: A Negro hung alive by the Ribs to a Gallows.In this one a mother is betrayed and officially dishonoured by bourgeois pettiness, and her children are about destroyed. That, and the author is an architect, and the daughter she imagines is an architect too, so ... Hooked. And the internal landscape left in a shambles at the end of it.

Arundhati Roy.Arundhati Roy.Arundhati Roy.Arundhati Roy.Arundhati Roy.I am wondering exactly what kind of a princess Arundhati Roy might be? This review/interview around her latest book Broken Republic: Three Essays leaves me uncertain. It is not even on the acquisition-list at the library yet, I checked, but it will be there eventually they say.

At times, particularly towards the end, The God of Small Things seems as if it will run out of control and off the tracks completely, like a glass so full that the meniscus curve trembles at the brink.

The Guardian interviewer tells us that "her critics call her shrill." So then I am thinking of the video of Vandana Shiva and Gwynne Dyer (Part 1: 10 min. here & Part 2: 5 min. here) - now that was shrill ... or seemed so to me (though I agree with her and disagree emphatically with Gwynne Dyer on this issue) ... maybe it is a cultural thing?

Arundhati Roy's 2002 'September Speech' (45 min. video here) does not seem shrill to me, though her occasional coy smiles put me off.

Maybe Broken Republic takes her over another line? I am interested to see what the details of that line look like from up-close.

When Robert Crumb has Mr. Natural say, "The whole universe is completely insane!" it about sums the state of mind these stories left me in, not to mention most of what's going on with the planet these days. It is a surprise that more people are not stepping over more lines. Even Al Gore is saying, "What we are doing is functionally insane!" in this longish article in Rolling Stone of all places. Well worth the time spent to read - he hits at least several nails right on their heads.

So ... wait for Broken Republic and maybe see where she has gotten to.

There is a whole other trail running off from the underdot on the 'r' in paṛaiyan ... I can't make it out, Sanskrit, but it might be some kind of nasal 'r'. I imagine that a nasal 'r' (if you knew how to voice it properly, despite its being a consonant) might contain all of this story (and all of this post too) in a single sound.

Mr. Natural 'Yep. The whole universe is completely insane!You can download this 1994 documentary about Robert Crumb - the cartoonist.

At one point he says, "And sometimes I think it's a mistake, I should never have let it out, I'd be more, you know, well-loved and ... I just hope that revealing that truth about myself is somehow helpful ... I can't say." I made this YouTube clip of the bit where he says that. (The YouTube mavens have figgured out that it is somehow connected to a movie that Sony owns, but it is still apparently 'available worldwide' whatever that means ... so this time I will leave it there and see how things develop.)

I never really read much of this stuff back in the day, but I remember a friend of mine getting into it, and he came to me all excited with some depiction of a violent sexual encounter in which the woman says, "Shut up! I just came here to get my slot packed!" and he was so amazed that this would be on the page he was showing me ... yeah, something like that.

Both of these guys are older than me; Leonard by more than a decade, Crumb just a few years. California may have been more seamlessly up-tight than Canada ... don't know. Crumb had brothers. He made it through and they didn't.

He took acid and says that it seemed to unlock the subconscious floodgates, as I can well imagine ... so maybe that's what saved him.

Brian Haw, 1949-2011.Brian Haw, 1949-2011.Brian Haw, 1949-2011.I was sitting in the park watching a few latter-day hippies as they celebrated the summer solstice with songs (that sounded like dirges) and prayers for peace (that did not move me though I listened carefully) ...

I was thinking of Brian Haw's passing.



And then we have the dance of the seven sleveens: managers and unions and politicians and pundits all so busy keeping each other entertained while they wait to collect their fat pensions - as long as it doesn't 'impact' their summer vacations in Muskoka too much.

Deepak Chopra, Canada Post CEO.Deepak Chopra, Canada Post CEO.Denis Lemelin, CUPW president.Denis Lemelin, CUPW president.Denis Lemelin, CUPW president.Lisa Raitt, 2008 Minister of Natural Resources.Lisa Raitt, 2009 w Jasmine MacDonnell.Jasmine MacDonnell, 2009 w Lisa Raitt.Jasmine MacDonnell, 2009 w Lisa Raitt.Stephen Harper, 2011 w Lisa Raitt.Lisa Raitt.Even the library workers have a union (the library being at the edge of the park y'unnerstan). This week it is CUPW taking the heat, but CUPE (for the librarians) is certainly on the list. On the bright side maybe it will finally be an end of Sid Ryan.

Fire Down On The Labrador David BlackwoodThe joke may be on them before long - those fat pensions may not last. Who can say? The stock-market may ... disappear, vanish in a puff of smoke like the Wicked Witch of the West. They may have to fall back on stashed cash, all good ... or stashed bullion, real estate, high-tech security systems, guns.

That the poor in the 't'oid woild' will never see an end to their poverty is one thing, but that the Western elect, union members and mid-managers and the like will not get their 'fair share' ... well that's ... unthinkable! But there is not enough gravy to go around (there never was), so they squeak & scrabble like rats in a bag.

And then we have the illiterate nitwit (with oh such excellent credentials) turning a Powerpoint presentation into a book. The excellent quality of the prose makes me think he used some of that software that generates text directly from an audio stream, the stuff they use to make subtitles on B movies: The Great Disruption, Paul Gilding.

VEGEPAP!

A-and endless apologies for really really REALLY good-guy capitalists among his private and personal acquaintanceship.

Though he makes one good point when he recognizes that what moves these human chimpanzees is neither moral arguments, nor the trashing of the ecosphere, nor even economic collapse, and certainly not any quality of mercy or empathy, strained or otherwise - but any threat to their own personal belly-button bottom lines.

It is all very personal in the end, isnt it? Too personal by far.

Those stories turning me inside out .... maybe this is an apt recessional: Killing Me Softly with the Fugees, Lauryn Hill & Roberta Flack ... Roberta Flack by herself, Alicia Keys covered it too but I can't find a complete version ...

One mother survives, one dies in ignominy. I didn't survive and I am not sure my children have either, though I do not speak for them. Miss Jodie is closing her blog, an 'irrational fear of vampires' apparently. I hope I am not numbered among them but I well might be I suppose, the living dead in a way of speaking.

In one of her stories she says, "... he leaned slowly towards me, and he smelled my neck, at first, shock, as he inhaled - is he really smelling me?" That was the living connection truth be told - olfactory - because I had the same experience once in a sleazy club in Rio. I can still remember the surprise of it, and that the woman looked up at me then and smiled - my smell pleased her, I passed the sniff test - we are still the best of friends. Lizard-brain stuff is the best eh?

Arundhati's evident ambivalence towards this God of Small Things of hers ...

My son thinks maybe the Greenpeace-niks turned their backs on me last week because I walk around smoking cigarettes in public parks ... ummm ... could be just simple-minded enough to be true in 'Toronto the Good'.

Up all night again writing this shite - each week I hope that I am done here gentle reader, that I will find some way out of this Magus' Waiting Room ... maybe this time.

Be well.

Postscript:

Beija-Flor by O'Kane.Beija-Flor by Jesperson.Solipsistic, paranoid ... wrung-out, strung-out, burned-out; I just get securely & comfortably down in the grungy groove where all I can do is groan and say "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." And ok, comes Father's Day and all the kids call me up on the telephone.

Sumac, June 23rd.No quitter! I hang onto that drain-plug with all my might ... and just ready to hit the 'Publish' button when I notice that two Toronto Star readers have independently photographed hummingbirds in the general vicinity ... Holy Jumpin' Beija-flor! And friends of my sweet darlin' (whose infant I once dandled just until he was laffin' and delighted) get married in Duque and she sends me photos of the wedding.

Al Gore & Andrew Knox (of Transition Toronto) show up on the horizon with positive messages. The sumac sprouts survive another week and grow (if they do not exactly thrive - I think they need more sun) and ... Presto-whiffo! I am looking forward to whatever tomorrow may bring. Able to leap tall buildings with a single bound!

It's a miracle! It's a ... a ... a ... conspiracy!(?)

What about truth? I was brought up on "Truth will out!" but that turns out just to be more of the same sentimental & faux-transcendent cotton-batting they put in the little blue boxes from Birks to keep their gods from rattling around too much.

There! A sentence worthy of this weeks nominated nitwit.


Appendices:

1. Bird on the Wire, Leonard Cohen, 1969 & subsequent.


2. Arundhati Roy: 'They are trying to keep me destabilised. Anybody who says anything is in danger', Stephen Moss, 5 June 2011.


3. Climate of Denial, Al Gore, June 22 2011. Can science and the truth withstand the merchants of poison?




Bird on the Wire, Leonard Cohen, 1969.
Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If I, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.

Like a baby, stillborn,
like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
and by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch,
he said to me, "You must not ask for so much."
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,
she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Oh like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
New & improved:
Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in an old midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
Like a knight bent down in some old fashioned book
It was the shape, the shape of our love that has twisted me.

If I have been unkind,
Oh if I have been un-kind
I hope you can find a way to let it all go right on by.
If I have been untrue
If I have been untrue
It's just that I'm not a liar I'm a lover and I had to be some kind of liar too.

Like a baby, stillborn,
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
I swear by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.

Like a baby, stillborn,
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
I swear by all that I have done wrong
I will, make it all, all up to thee.

I saw this beggar, he was leaning on his wooden crutch,
He says to me, "Leonard, You just can't ask for all that much."
A pretty woman standing in her darkened door,
She cries out to me, "Hey, why not ask for just a little bit more?"

Like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in an old midnight choir
I have tried in my way, to be free.

Arundhati Roy: 'They are trying to keep me destabilised. Anybody who says anything is in danger', Stephen Moss, 5 June 2011.

The Booker prize-winning novelist on her political activism in India, why she no longer condemns violent resistance – and why it doesn't matter if she never writes a second novel

This is not an ideal beginning. I bump into Arundhati Roy as we are both heading for the loo in the foyer of the large building that houses her publisher Penguin's offices. There are some authors, V S Naipaul say, with whom this could be awkward. But not Roy, who makes me feel instantly at ease. A few minutes later, her publicist settles us in a small, bare room. As we take our positions on either side of a narrow desk I liken it to an interrogation suite. But she says that in India, interrogation rooms are a good deal less salubrious than this.

Roy, who is 50 this year, is best known for her 1997 Booker prize-winning novel The God of Small Things, but for the past decade has been an increasingly vocal critic of the Indian state, attacking its policy towards Kashmir, the environmental destruction wrought by rapid development, the country's nuclear weapons programme and corruption. As a prominent opponent of everything connected with globalisation, she is seeking to construct a "new modernity" based on sustainability and a defence of traditional ways of life.

Her new book, Broken Republic, brings together three essays about the Maoist guerrilla movement in the forests of central India that is resisting the government's attempts to develop and mine land on which tribal people live. The central essay, Walking with the Comrades, is a brilliant piece of reportage, recounting three weeks she spent with the guerrillas in the forest. She must, I suggest, have been in great personal danger. "Everybody's in great danger there, so you can't go round feeling you are specially in danger," she says in her pleasant, high-pitched voice. In any case, she says, the violence of bullets and torture are no greater than the violence of hunger and malnutrition, of vulnerable people feeling they're under siege.

Her time with the guerrillas made a profound impression. She describes spending nights sleeping on the forest floor in a "thousand-star hotel", applauds "the ferocity and grandeur of these poor people fighting back", and says "being in the forest made me feel like there was enough space in my body for all my organs". She detests glitzy, corporate, growth-obsessed modern Indian, and there in the forest she found a brief peace.

There is intense anger in the book, I say, implying that if she toned it down she might find a readier audience. "The anger is calibrated," she insists. "It's less than I actually feel." But even so, her critics call her shrill. "That word 'shrill' is reserved for any expression of feeling. It's all right for the establishment to be as shrill as it likes about annihilating people."

Is her political engagement derived from her mother, Mary Roy, who set up a school in Kerala and has a reputation as a women's rights activist? "She's not an activist," says Roy. "I don't know why people keep saying that. My mother is like a character who escaped from the set of a Fellini film." She laughs at her own description. "She's a whole performing universe of her own. Activists would run a mile from her because they could not deal with what she is."

I want to talk more about Mary Roy – and eventually we do – but there's one important point to clear up first. Guerrillas use violence, generally directed against the police and army, but sometimes causing injury and death to civilians caught in the crossfire. Does she condemn that violence? "I don't condemn it any more," she says. "If you're an adivasi [tribal Indian] living in a forest village and 800 CRP [Central Reserve Police] come and surround your village and start burning it, what are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to go on hunger strike? Can the hungry go on a hunger strike? Non-violence is a piece of theatre. You need an audience. What can you do when you have no audience? People have the right to resist annihilation."

Her critics label her a Maoist sympathiser. Is she? "I am a Maoist sympathiser," she says. "I'm not a Maoist ideologue, because the communist movements in history have been just as destructive as capitalism. But right now, when the assault is on, I feel they are very much part of the resistance that I support."

Roy talks about the resistance as an "insurrection"; she makes India sound as if it's ripe for a Chinese or Russian-style revolution. So how come we in the west don't hear about these mini-wars? "I have been told quite openly by several correspondents of international newspapers," she says, "that they have instructions – 'No negative news from India' – because it's an investment destination. So you don't hear about it. But there is an insurrection, and it's not just a Maoist insurrection. Everywhere in the country, people are fighting." I find the suggestion that such an injunction exists – or that self-respecting journalists would accept it – ridiculous. Foreign reporting of India might well be lazy or myopic, but I don't believe it's corrupt.

She sounds like a member of a religious sect, I say, as if she has seen the light. "It's a way of life, a way of thinking," she replies without taking offence. "I know people in India, even the modern young people, understand that here is something that's alive." So why not give up the plush home in Delhi and the media appearances, and return to the forest? "I'd be more than happy to if I had to, but I would be a liability to them in the forest. The battles have to be fought in different ways. The military side is just one part of it. What I do is another part of the battle."

I question her absolutism, her Manichaean view of the world, but I admire her courage. Her home has been pelted with stones; the Indian launch of Broken Republic was interrupted by pro-government demonstrators who stormed the stage; she may be charged with sedition for saying that Kashmiris should be given the right of self-determination. "They are trying to keep me destabilised," she says. Does she feel threatened? "Anybody who says anything is in danger. Hundreds of people are in jail."

Roy has likened writing fiction and polemic to the difference between dancing and walking. Does she not want to dance again? "Of course I do." Is she working on a new novel? "I have been," she says with a laugh, "but I don't get much time to do it." Does it bother her that the followup to The God of Small Things has been so long in coming? "I'm a highly unambitious person," she says. "What does it matter if there is or isn't a novel? I really don't look at it that way. For me, nothing would have been worth not going into that forest."

It's hard to judge whether there will be a second novel. The God of Small Things drew so much on her own life – her charismatic but overbearing mother; a drunken tea-planter father whom her mother left when Roy was very young; her own departure from home in her late teens – that it may be a one-off, a book as much lived as written. She gives ambiguous answers about whether she expects a second novel to appear. On the one hand, she says she is engaged with the resistance movement and that it dominates her thoughts. But almost in the same breath she says others have "picked up the baton" and she would like to return to fiction, to dance again.

What is certain is that little of the second novel has so far been written. She prefers not to tell me what it is about; indeed, she says it would not be possible to pinpoint the theme. "I don't have subjects. It's not like I'm trying to write an anti-dam novel. Fiction is too beautiful to be about just one thing. It should be about everything." Has she been blocked by the pressure of having to follow up a Booker winner? "No," she says. "We're not children all wanting to come first in class and win prizes. It's the pleasure of doing it. I don't know whether it will be a good book, but I'm curious about how and what I will write after these journeys."

Are her agent and publisher disappointed still to be waiting for the second novel? "They always knew there wasn't going to be some novel-producing factory," she says. "I was very clear about that. I don't see the point. I did something. I enjoyed doing it. I'm doing something now. I'm living to the edges of my fingernails, using everything I have. It's impossible for me to look at things politically or in any way as a project, to further my career. You're injected directly into the blood of the places in which you're living and what's going on there."

She has no financial need to write another novel. The God of Small Things, which sold more than 6m copies around the world, set her up for life, even though she has given much of the money away. She even spurned offers for the film rights, because she didn't want anyone interpreting her book for the screen. "Every reader has a vision of it in their head," she says, "and I didn't want it to be one film." She is strong-willed. Back in 1996, when The God of Small Things was being prepared for publication, she insisted on having control of the cover image because she didn't want "a jacket with tigers and ladies in saris". She is her indomitable mother's daughter.

I insist she tell me more about her Fellini-esque mother. She is, says Roy, like an empress. She has a number of buttons beside her bed which, when you press them, emit different bird calls. Each call signals to one of her retinue what she requires. Has she been the centre of her daughter's life? "No, she has been the centre of a lot of conflict in my life. She's an extraordinary women, and when we are together I feel like we are two nuclear-armed states." She laughs loudly. "We have to be a bit careful."

To defuse the family tensions, Roy left home when she was 16 to study architecture in Delhi – even then she wanted to build a new world. She married a fellow student at the age of 17. "He was a very nice guy, but I didn't take it seriously," she says. In 1984 she met and married film-maker Pradip Krishen, and helped him bring up his two daughters by an earlier marriage. They now live separately, though she still refers to him as her "sweetheart". So why separate? "My life is so crazy. There's so much pressure and idiosyncrasy. I don't have any establishment. I don't have anyone to mediate between me and the world. It's just based on instinct." I think what she's saying is that freedom matters more to her than anything else.

She chose not to have children because it would have impinged on that freedom. "For a long time I didn't have the means to support them," she says, "and once I did I thought I was too unreliable. So many of the women in India who are fighting these battles don't have children, because anything can happen. You have to be light on your feet and light in your head. I like to be a mobile republic."

Roy has in the past described herself as "a natural-born feminist". What did she mean by that? "Because of my mother and the way I grew up without a father to look after me, you learned early on that rule number one was look out for yourself. Much of what I can do and say now comes from being independent at an early age." Her mother was born into a wealthy, conservative Christian community in Kerala, but put herself outside the pale by marrying Ranjit Roy, a Hindu from West Bengal. When she returned to her home state after her divorce she had little money and was thus doubly marginalised. The mother eventually triumphed over all these obstacles and made a success of the school she founded, but growing up an outsider has left its mark on her daughter.

Roy says she has always been polemical, and points to her run-in with director Shekhar Kapur in the mid-1990s over his film Bandit Queen – she questioned whether he had the right to portray the rape of a living person on screen without that woman's consent. It may be that the novel is the exception in a life of agitation, rather than the agitation an odd outcrop in a life of fiction-writing. But has she sacrificed too much for the struggle – the chance to dance, children, perhaps even her second marriage? "I don't see any of these things as sacrifices," she says. "They are positive choices. I feel surrounded by love, by excitement. They are not being done in some martyr-like way. When I was walking through the forest with the comrades, we were laughing all the time."


Climate of Denial, Al Gore, June 22 2011.

Can science and the truth withstand the merchants of poison?

Page 1

The first time I remember hearing the question "is it real?" was when I went as a young boy to see a traveling show put on by "professional wrestlers" one summer evening in the gym of the Forks River Elementary School in Elmwood, Tennessee.

The evidence that it was real was palpable: "They're really hurting each other! That's real blood! Look a'there! They can't fake that!" On the other hand, there was clearly a script (or in today's language, a "narrative"), with good guys to cheer and bad guys to boo.

But the most unusual and in some ways most interesting character in these dramas was the referee: Whenever the bad guy committed a gross and obvious violation of the "rules" — such as they were — like using a metal folding chair to smack the good guy in the head, the referee always seemed to be preoccupied with one of the cornermen, or looking the other way. Yet whenever the good guy — after absorbing more abuse and unfairness than any reasonable person could tolerate — committed the slightest infraction, the referee was all over him. The answer to the question "Is it real?" seemed connected to the question of whether the referee was somehow confused about his role: Was he too an entertainer?

That is pretty much the role now being played by most of the news media in refereeing the current wrestling match over whether global warming is "real," and whether it has any connection to the constant dumping of 90 million tons of heat-trapping emissions into the Earth's thin shell of atmosphere every 24 hours.

Admittedly, the contest over global warming is a challenge for the referee because it's a tag-team match, a real free-for-all. In one corner of the ring are Science and Reason. In the other corner: Poisonous Polluters and Right-wing Ideologues.

The referee — in this analogy, the news media — seems confused about whether he is in the news business or the entertainment business. Is he responsible for ensuring a fair match? Or is he part of the show, selling tickets and building the audience? The referee certainly seems distracted: by Donald Trump, Charlie Sheen, the latest reality show — the list of serial obsessions is too long to enumerate here.

But whatever the cause, the referee appears not to notice that the Polluters and Ideologues are trampling all over the "rules" of democratic discourse. They are financing pseudoscientists whose job is to manufacture doubt about what is true and what is false; buying elected officials wholesale with bribes that the politicians themselves have made "legal" and can now be made in secret; spending hundreds of millions of dollars each year on misleading advertisements in the mass media; hiring four anti-climate lobbyists for every member of the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives. (Question: Would Michael Jordan have been a star if he was covered by four defensive players every step he took on the basketball court?)

This script, of course, is not entirely new: A half-century ago, when Science and Reason established the linkage between cigarettes and lung diseases, the tobacco industry hired actors, dressed them up as doctors, and paid them to look into television cameras and tell people that the linkage revealed in the Surgeon General's Report was not real at all. The show went on for decades, with more Americans killed each year by cigarettes than all of the U.S. soldiers killed in all of World War II.

This time, the scientific consensus is even stronger. It has been endorsed by every National Academy of science of every major country on the planet, every major professional scientific society related to the study of global warming and 98 percent of climate scientists throughout the world. In the latest and most authoritative study by 3,000 of the very best scientific experts in the world, the evidence was judged "unequivocal."

But wait! The good guys transgressed the rules of decorum, as evidenced in their private e-mails that were stolen and put on the Internet. The referee is all over it: Penalty! Go to your corner! And in their 3,000-page report, the scientists made some mistakes! Another penalty!

And if more of the audience is left confused about whether the climate crisis is real? Well, the show must go on. After all, it's entertainment. There are tickets to be sold, eyeballs to glue to the screen.

Part of the script for this show was leaked to The New York Times as early as 1991. In an internal document, a consortium of the largest global-warming polluters spelled out their principal strategy: "Reposition global warming as theory, rather than fact." Ever since, they have been sowing doubt even more effectively than the tobacco companies before them.

To sell their false narrative, the Polluters and Ideologues have found it essential to undermine the public's respect for Science and Reason by attacking the integrity of the climate scientists. That is why the scientists are regularly accused of falsifying evidence and exaggerating its implications in a greedy effort to win more research grants, or secretly pursuing a hidden political agenda to expand the power of government. Such slanderous insults are deeply ironic: extremist ideologues — many financed or employed by carbon polluters — accusing scientists of being greedy extremist ideologues.

After World War II, a philosopher studying the impact of organized propaganda on the quality of democratic debate wrote, "The conversion of all questions of truth into questions of power has attacked the very heart of the distinction between true and false."

Page 2

Is the climate crisis real? Yes, of course it is. Pause for a moment to consider these events of just the past 12 months:

• Heat. According to NASA, 2010 was tied with 2005 as the hottest year measured since instruments were first used systematically in the 1880s. Nineteen countries set all-time high temperature records. One city in Pakistan, Mohenjo-Daro, reached 128.3 degrees Fahrenheit, the hottest temperature ever measured in an Asian city. Nine of the 10 hottest years in history have occurred in the last 13 years. The past decade was the hottest ever measured, even though half of that decade represented a "solar minimum" — the low ebb in the natural cycle of solar energy emanating from the sun.

• Floods. Megafloods displaced 20 million people in Pakistan, further destabilizing a nuclear-armed country; inundated an area of Australia larger than Germany and France combined; flooded 28 of the 32 districts that make up Colombia, where it has rained almost continuously for the past year; caused a "thousand-year" flood in my home city of Nashville; and led to all-time record flood levels in the Mississippi River Valley. Many places around the world are now experiencing larger and more frequent extreme downpours and snowstorms; last year's "Snowmaggedon" in the northeastern United States is part of the same pattern, notwithstanding the guffaws of deniers.

• Drought. Historic drought and fires in Russia killed an estimated 56,000 people and caused wheat and other food crops in Russia, Ukraine and Kazakhstan to be removed from the global market, contributing to a record spike in food prices. "Practically everything is burning," Russian president Dmitry Medvedev declared. "What's happening with the planet's climate right now needs to be a wake-up call to all of us." The drought level in much of Texas has been raised from "extreme" to "exceptional," the highest category. This spring the majority of the counties in Texas were on fire, and Gov. Rick Perry requested a major disaster declaration for all but two of the state's 254 counties. Arizona is now fighting the largest fire in its history. Since 1970, the fire season throughout the American West has increased by 78 days. Extreme droughts in central China and northern France are currently drying up reservoirs and killing crops.

• Melting Ice. An enormous mass of ice, four times larger than the island of Manhattan, broke off from northern Greenland last year and slipped into the sea. The acceleration of ice loss in both Greenland and Antarctica has caused another upward revision of global sea-level rise and the numbers of refugees expected from low-lying coastal areas. The Arctic ice cap, which reached a record low volume last year, has lost as much as 40 percent of its area during summer in just 30 years.

These extreme events are happening in real time. It is not uncommon for the nightly newscast to resemble a nature hike through the Book of Revelation. Yet most of the news media completely ignore how such events are connected to the climate crisis, or dismiss the connection as controversial; after all, there are scientists on one side of the debate and deniers on the other. A Fox News executive, in an internal e-mail to the network's reporters and editors that later became public, questioned the "veracity of climate change data" and ordered the journalists to "refrain from asserting that the planet has warmed (or cooled) in any given period without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question."

But in the "real" world, the record droughts, fires, floods and mudslides continue to increase in severity and frequency. Leading climate scientists like Jim Hansen and Kevin Trenberth now say that events like these would almost certainly not be occurring without the influence of man-made global warming. And that's a shift in the way they frame these impacts. Scientists used to caution that we were increasing the probability of such extreme events by "loading the dice" — pumping more carbon into the atmosphere. Now the scientists go much further, warning that we are "painting more dots on the dice." We are not only more likely to roll 12s; we are now rolling 13s and 14s. In other words, the biggest storms are not only becoming more frequent, they are getting bigger, stronger and more destructive.

"The only plausible explanation for the rise in weather-related catastrophes is climate change," Munich Re, one of the two largest reinsurance companies in the world, recently stated. "The view that weather extremes are more frequent and intense due to global warming coincides with the current state of scientific knowledge."

Many of the extreme and destructive events are the result of the rapid increase in the amount of heat energy from the sun that is trapped in the atmosphere, which is radically disrupting the planet's water cycle. More heat energy evaporates more water into the air, and the warmer air holds a lot more moisture. This has huge consequences that we now see all around the world.

When a storm unleashes a downpour of rain or snow, the precipitation does not originate just in the part of the sky directly above where it falls. Storms reach out — sometimes as far as 2,000 miles — to suck in water vapor from large areas of the sky, including the skies above oceans, where water vapor has increased by four percent in just the last 30 years. (Scientists often compare this phenomenon to what happens in a bathtub when you open the drain; the water rushing out comes from the whole tub, not just from the part of the tub directly above the drain. And when the tub is filled with more water, more goes down the drain. In the same way, when the warmer sky is filled with a lot more water vapor, there are bigger downpours when a storm cell opens the "drain.")

In many areas, these bigger downpours also mean longer periods between storms — at the same time that the extra heat in the air is also drying out the soil. That is part of the reason so many areas have been experiencing both record floods and deeper, longer-lasting droughts.

Moreover, the scientists have been warning us for quite some time — in increasingly urgent tones — that things will get much, much worse if we continue the reckless dumping of more and more heat-trapping pollution into the atmosphere. Drought is projected to spread across significant, highly populated areas of the globe throughout this century. Look at what the scientists say is in store for the Mediterranean nations. Should we care about the loss of Spain, France, Italy, the Balkans, Turkey, Tunisia? Look at what they say is in store for Mexico. Should we notice? Should we care?

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Maybe it's just easier, psychologically, to swallow the lie that these scientists who devote their lives to their work are actually greedy deceivers and left-wing extremists — and that we should instead put our faith in the pseudoscientists financed by large carbon polluters whose business plans depend on their continued use of the atmospheric commons as a place to dump their gaseous, heat-trapping waste without limit or constraint, free of charge.

The truth is this: What we are doing is functionally insane. If we do not change this pattern, we will condemn our children and all future generations to struggle with ecological curses for several millennia to come. Twenty percent of the global-warming pollution we spew into the sky each day will still be there 20,000 years from now!

We do have another choice. Renewable energy sources are coming into their own. Both solar and wind will soon produce power at costs that are competitive with fossil fuels; indications are that twice as many solar installations were erected worldwide last year as compared to 2009. The reductions in cost and the improvements in efficiency of photovoltaic cells over the past decade appear to be following an exponential curve that resembles a less dramatic but still startling version of what happened with computer chips over the past 50 years.

Enhanced geothermal energy is potentially a nearly limitless source of competitive electricity. Increased energy efficiency is already saving businesses money and reducing emissions significantly. New generations of biomass energy — ones that do not rely on food crops, unlike the mistaken strategy of making ethanol from corn — are extremely promising. Sustainable forestry and agriculture both make economic as well as environmental sense. And all of these options would spread even more rapidly if we stopped subsidizing Big Oil and Coal and put a price on carbon that reflected the true cost of fossil energy — either through the much-maligned cap-and-trade approach, or through a revenue-neutral tax swap.

All over the world, the grassroots movement in favor of changing public policies to confront the climate crisis and build a more prosperous, sustainable future is growing rapidly. But most governments remain paralyzed, unable to take action — even after years of volatile gasoline prices, repeated wars in the Persian Gulf, one energy-related disaster after another, and a seemingly endless stream of unprecedented and lethal weather disasters.

Continuing on our current course would be suicidal for global civilization. But the key question is: How do we drive home that fact in a democratic society when questions of truth have been converted into questions of power? When the distinction between what is true and what is false is being attacked relentlessly, and when the referee in the contest between truth and falsehood has become an entertainer selling tickets to a phony wrestling match?

The "wrestling ring" in this metaphor is the conversation of democracy. It used to be called the "public square." In ancient Athens, it was the Agora. In the Roman Republic, it was the Forum. In the Egypt of the recent Arab Spring, "Tahrir Square" was both real and metaphorical — encompassing Facebook, Twitter, Al-Jazeera and texting.

In the America of the late-18th century, the conversation that led to our own "Spring" took place in printed words: pamphlets, newsprint, books, the "Republic of Letters." It represented the fullest flower of the Enlightenment, during which the oligarchic power of the monarchies, the feudal lords and the Medieval Church was overthrown and replaced with a new sovereign: the Rule of Reason.

The public square that gave birth to the new consciousness of the Enlightenment emerged in the dozen generations following he invention of the printing press — "the Gutenberg Galaxy," the scholar Marshall McLuhan called it — a space in which the conversation of democracy was almost equally accessible to every literate person. Individuals could both find the knowledge that had previously been restricted to elites and contribute their own ideas.

Ideas that found resonance with others rose in prominence much the way Google searches do today, finding an ever larger audience and becoming a source of political power for individuals with neither wealth nor force of arms. Thomas Paine, to take one example, emigrated from England to Philadelphia with no wealth, no family connections and no power other than that which came from his ability to think and write clearly — yet his Common Sense became the Harry Potter of Revolutionary America. The "public interest" mattered, was actively discussed and pursued.

But the "public square" that gave birth to America has been transformed beyond all recognition. The conversation that matters most to the shaping of the "public mind" now takes place on television. Newspapers and magazines are in decline. The Internet, still in its early days, will one day support business models that make true journalism profitable — but up until now, the only successful news websites aggregate content from struggling print publications. Web versions of the newspapers themselves are, with few exceptions, not yet making money. They bring to mind the classic image of Wile E. Coyote running furiously in midair just beyond the edge of the cliff, before plummeting to the desert floor far beneath him.

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The average American, meanwhile, is watching television an astonishing five hours a day. In the average household, at least one television set is turned on more than eight hours a day. Moreover, approximately 75 percent of those using the Internet frequently watch television at the same time that they are online.

Unlike access to the "public square" of early America, access to television requires large amounts of money. Thomas Paine could walk out of his front door in Philadelphia and find a dozen competing, low-cost print shops within blocks of his home. Today, if he traveled to the nearest TV station, or to the headquarters of nearby Comcast — the dominant television provider in America — and tried to deliver his new ideas to the American people, he would be laughed off the premises. The public square that used to be a commons has been refeudalized, and the gatekeepers charge large rents for the privilege of communicating to the American people over the only medium that really affects their thinking. "Citizens" are now referred to more commonly as "consumers" or "the audience."

That is why up to 80 percent of the campaign budgets for candidates in both major political parties is devoted to the purchase of 30-second TV ads. Since the rates charged for these commercials increase each year, the candidates are forced to raise more and more money in each two-year campaign cycle.

Of course, the only reliable sources from which such large sums can be raised continuously are business lobbies. Organized labor, a shadow of its former self, struggles to compete, and individuals are limited by law to making small contributions. During the 2008 campaign, there was a bubble of hope that Internet-based fundraising might even the scales, but in the end, Democrats as well as Republicans relied far more on traditional sources of large contributions. Moreover, the recent deregulation of unlimited — and secret — donations by wealthy corporations has made the imbalance even worse.

In the new ecology of political discourse, special-interest contributors of the large sums of money now required for the privilege of addressing voters on a wholesale basis are not squeamish about asking for the quo they expect in return for their quid. Politicians who don't acquiesce don't get the money they need to be elected and re-elected. And the impact is doubled when special interests make clear — usually bluntly — that the money they are withholding will go instead to opponents who are more than happy to pledge the desired quo. Politicians have been racing to the bottom for some time, and are presently tunneling to new depths. It is now commonplace for congressmen and senators first elected decades ago — as I was — to comment in private that the whole process has become unbelievably crass, degrading and horribly destructive to the core values of American democracy.

Largely as a result, the concerns of the wealthiest individuals and corporations routinely trump the concerns of average Americans and small businesses. There are a ridiculously large number of examples: eliminating the inheritance tax paid by the wealthiest one percent of families is considered a much higher priority than addressing the suffering of the millions of long-term unemployed; Wall Street's interest in legalizing gambling in trillions of dollars of "derivatives" was considered way more important than protecting the integrity of the financial system and the interests of middle-income home buyers. It's a long list.

Almost every group organized to promote and protect the "public interest" has been backpedaling and on the defensive. By sharp contrast, when a coalition of powerful special interests sets out to manipulate U.S. policy, their impact can be startling — and the damage to the true national interest can be devastating.

In 2002, for example, the feverish desire to invade Iraq required convincing the American people that Saddam Hussein was somehow responsible for attacking the United States on September 11th, 2001, and that he was preparing to attack us again, perhaps with nuclear weapons. When the evidence — the "facts" — stood in the way of that effort to shape the public mind, they were ridiculed, maligned and ignored. Behind the scenes, the intelligence was manipulated and the public was intentionally deceived. Allies were pressured to adopt the same approach with their publics. A recent inquiry in the U.K. confirmed this yet again. "We knew at the time that the purpose of the dossier was precisely to make a case for war, rather than setting out the available intelligence," Maj. Gen. Michael Laurie testified. "To make the best out of sparse and inconclusive intelligence, the wording was developed with care." Why? As British intelligence put it, the overthrow of Saddam was "a prize because it could give new security to oil supplies."

That goal — the real goal — could have been debated on its own terms. But as Bush administration officials have acknowledged, a truly candid presentation would not have resulted in sufficient public support for the launching of a new war. They knew that because they had studied it and polled it. So they manipulated the debate, downplayed the real motive for the invasion, and made a different case to the public — one based on falsehoods.

And the "referee" — the news media — looked the other way. Some, like Fox News, were hyperactive cheerleaders. Others were intimidated into going along by the vitriol heaped on any who asked inconvenient questions. (They know it; many now acknowledge it, sheepishly and apologetically.)

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Senators themselves fell, with a few honorable exceptions, into the same two camps. A few weeks before the United States invaded Iraq, the late Robert Byrd — God rest his soul — thundered on the Senate floor about the pitiful quality of the debate over the choice between war and peace: "Yet, this Chamber is, for the most part, silent — ominously, dreadfully silent. There is no debate, no discussion, no attempt to lay out for the nation the pros and cons of this particular war. There is nothing."

The chamber was silent, in part, because many senators were somewhere else — attending cocktail parties and receptions, largely with special-interest donors, raising money to buy TV ads for their next campaigns. Nowadays, in fact, the scheduling of many special-interest fundraisers mirrors the schedule of votes pending in the House and Senate.

By the time we invaded Iraq, polls showed, nearly three-quarters of the American people were convinced that the person responsible for the planes flying into the World Trade Center Towers was indeed Saddam Hussein. The rest is history — though, as Faulkner wrote, "The past is never dead. It's not even past." Because of that distortion of the truth in the past, we are still in Iraq; and because the bulk of our troops and intelligence assets were abruptly diverted from Afghanistan to Iraq, we are also still in Afghanistan.

In the same way, because the banks had their way with Congress when it came to gambling on unregulated derivatives and recklessly endangering credit markets with subprime mortgages, we still have almost double-digit unemployment, historic deficits, Greece and possibly other European countries teetering on the edge of default, and the threat of a double-dip recession. Even the potential default of the United States of America is now being treated by many politicians and too many in the media as yet another phony wrestling match, a political game. Are the potential economic consequences of a U.S. default "real"? Of course they are! Have we gone completely nuts?

We haven't gone nuts — but the "conversation of democracy" has become so deeply dysfunctional that our ability to make intelligent collective decisions has been seriously impaired. Throughout American history, we relied on the vibrancy of our public square — and the quality of our democratic discourse — to make better decisions than most nations in the history of the world. But we are now routinely making really bad decisions that completely ignore the best available evidence of what is true and what is false. When the distinction between truth and falsehood is systematically attacked without shame or consequence — when a great nation makes crucially important decisions on the basis of completely false information that is no longer adequately filtered through the fact-checking function of a healthy and honest public discussion — the public interest is severely damaged.

That is exactly what is happening with U.S. decisions regarding the climate crisis. The best available evidence demonstrates beyond any reasonable doubt that the reckless spewing of global-warming pollution in obscene quantities into the atmospheric commons is having exactly the consequences long predicted by scientists who have analyzed the known facts according to the laws of physics.

The emergence of the climate crisis seems sudden only because of a relatively recent discontinuity in the relationship between human civilization and the planet's ecological system. In the past century, we have quadrupled global population while relying on the burning of carbon-based fuels — coal, oil and gas — for 85 percent of the world's energy. We are also cutting and burning forests that would otherwise help remove some of the added CO2 from the atmosphere, and have converted agriculture to an industrial model that also runs on carbon-based fuels and strip-mines carbon-rich soils.

The cumulative result is a radically new reality — and since human nature makes us vulnerable to confusing the unprecedented with the improbable, it naturally seems difficult to accept. Moreover, since this new reality is painful to contemplate, and requires big changes in policy and behavior that are at the outer limit of our ability, it is all too easy to fall into the psychological state of denial. As with financial issues like subprime mortgages and credit default swaps, the climate crisis can seem too complex to worry about, especially when the shills for the polluters constantly claim it's all a hoax anyway. And since the early impacts of climatic disruption are distributed globally, they masquerade as an abstraction that is safe to ignore.

These vulnerabilities, rooted in our human nature, are being manipulated by the tag-team of Polluters and Ideologues who are trying to deceive us. And the referee — the news media — is once again distracted. As with the invasion of Iraq, some are hyperactive cheerleaders for the deception, while others are intimidated into complicity, timidity and silence by the astonishing vitriol heaped upon those who dare to present the best evidence in a professional manner. Just as TV networks who beat the drums of war prior to the Iraq invasion were rewarded with higher ratings, networks now seem reluctant to present the truth about the link between carbon pollution and global warming out of fear that conservative viewers will change the channel — and fear that they will receive a torrent of flame e-mails from deniers.

Many politicians, unfortunately, also fall into the same two categories: those who cheerlead for the deniers and those who cower before them. The latter group now includes several candidates for the Republican presidential nomination who have felt it necessary to abandon their previous support for action on the climate crisis; at least one has been apologizing profusely to the deniers and begging for their forgiveness.

"Intimidation" and "timidity" are connected by more than a shared word root. The first is designed to produce the second. As Yeats wrote almost a century ago, "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity."

Barack Obama's approach to the climate crisis represents a special case that requires careful analysis. His election was accompanied by intense hope that many things in need of change would change. Some things have, but others have not. Climate policy, unfortunately, is in the second category. Why?

First of all, anyone who honestly examines the incredible challenges confronting President Obama when he took office has to feel enormous empathy for him: the Great Recession, with the high unemployment and the enormous public and private indebtedness it produced; two seemingly interminable wars; an intractable political opposition whose true leaders — entertainers masquerading as pundits — openly declared that their objective was to ensure that the new president failed; a badly broken Senate that is almost completely paralyzed by the threat of filibuster and is controlled lock, stock and barrel by the oil and coal industries; a contingent of nominal supporters in Congress who are indentured servants of the same special interests that control most of the Republican Party; and a ferocious, well-financed and dishonest campaign poised to vilify anyone who dares offer leadership for the reduction of global-warming pollution.

In spite of these obstacles, President Obama included significant climate-friendly initiatives in the economic stimulus package he presented to Congress during his first month in office. With the skillful leadership of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and committee chairmen Henry Waxman and Ed Markey, he helped secure passage of a cap-and-trade measure in the House a few months later. He implemented historic improvements in fuel-efficiency standards for automobiles, and instructed the Environmental Protection Agency to move forward on the regulation of global-warming pollution under the Clean Air Act. He appointed many excellent men and women to key positions, and they, in turn, have made hundreds of changes in environmental and energy policy that have helped move the country forward slightly on the climate issue. During his first six months, he clearly articulated the link between environmental security, economic security and national security — making the case that a national commitment to renewable energy could simultaneously reduce unemployment, dependence on foreign oil and vulnerability to the disruption of oil markets dominated by the Persian Gulf reserves. And more recently, as the issue of long-term debt has forced discussion of new revenue, he proposed the elimination of unnecessary and expensive subsidies for oil and gas.

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But in spite of these and other achievements, President Obama has thus far failed to use the bully pulpit to make the case for bold action on climate change. After successfully passing his green stimulus package, he did nothing to defend it when Congress decimated its funding. After the House passed cap and trade, he did little to make passage in the Senate a priority. Senate advocates — including one Republican — felt abandoned when the president made concessions to oil and coal companies without asking for anything in return. He has also called for a massive expansion of oil drilling in the United States, apparently in an effort to defuse criticism from those who argue speciously that "drill, baby, drill" is the answer to our growing dependence on foreign oil.

The failure to pass legislation to limit global-warming pollution ensured that the much-anticipated Copenhagen summit on a global treaty in 2009 would also end in failure. The president showed courage in attending the summit and securing a rhetorical agreement to prevent a complete collapse of the international process, but that's all it was — a rhetorical agreement. During the final years of the Bush-Cheney administration, the rest of the world was waiting for a new president who would aggressively tackle the climate crisis — and when it became clear that there would be no real change from the Bush era, the agenda at Copenhagen changed from "How do we complete this historic breakthrough?" to "How can we paper over this embarrassing disappointment?"

Some concluded from the failure in Copenhagen that it was time to give up on the entire U.N.-sponsored process for seeking an international agreement to reduce both global-warming pollution and deforestation. Ultimately, however, the only way to address the climate crisis will be with a global agreement that in one way or another puts a price on carbon. And whatever approach is eventually chosen, the U.S. simply must provide leadership by changing our own policy.

Yet without presidential leadership that focuses intensely on making the public aware of the reality we face, nothing will change. The real power of any president, as Richard Neustadt wrote, is "the power to persuade." Yet President Obama has never presented to the American people the magnitude of the climate crisis. He has simply not made the case for action. He has not defended the science against the ongoing, withering and dishonest attacks. Nor has he provided a presidential venue for the scientific community — including our own National Academy — to bring the reality of the science before the public.

Here is the core of it: we are destroying the climate balance that is essential to the survival of our civilization. This is not a distant or abstract threat; it is happening now. The United States is the only nation that can rally a global effort to save our future. And the president is the only person who can rally the United States.

Many political advisers assume that a president has to deal with the world of politics as he finds it, and that it is unwise to risk political capital on an effort to actually lead the country toward a new understanding of the real threats and real opportunities we face. Concentrate on the politics of re-election, they say. Don't take chances.

All that might be completely understandable and make perfect sense in a world where the climate crisis wasn't "real." Those of us who support and admire President Obama understand how difficult the politics of this issue are in the context of the massive opposition to doing anything at all — or even to recognizing that there is a crisis. And assuming that the Republicans come to their senses and avoid nominating a clown, his re-election is likely to involve a hard-fought battle with high stakes for the country. All of his supporters understand that it would be self-defeating to weaken Obama and heighten the risk of another step backward. Even writing an article like this one carries risks; opponents of the president will excerpt the criticism and strip it of context.

But in this case, the President has reality on his side. The scientific consensus is far stronger today than at any time in the past. Here is the truth: The Earth is round; Saddam Hussein did not attack us on 9/11; Elvis is dead; Obama was born in the United States; and the climate crisis is real. It is time to act.

Those who profit from the unconstrained pollution that is the primary cause of climate change are determined to block our perception of this reality. They have help from many sides: from the private sector, which is now free to make unlimited and secret campaign contributions; from politicians who have conflated their tenures in office with the pursuit of the people's best interests; and — tragically — from the press itself, which treats deception and falsehood on the same plane as scientific fact, and calls it objective reporting of alternative opinions.

All things are not equally true. It is time to face reality. We ignored reality in the marketplace and nearly destroyed the world economic system. We are likewise ignoring reality in the environment, and the consequences could be several orders of magnitude worse. Determining what is real can be a challenge in our culture, but in order to make wise choices in the presence of such grave risks, we must use common sense and the rule of reason in coming to an agreement on what is true.

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So how can we make it happen? How can we as individuals make a difference? In five basic ways:

First, become a committed advocate for solving the crisis. You can start with something simple: Speak up whenever the subject of climate arises. When a friend or acquaintance expresses doubt that the crisis is real, or that it's some sort of hoax, don't let the opportunity pass to put down your personal marker. The civil rights revolution may have been driven by activists who put their lives on the line, but it was partly won by average Americans who began to challenge racist comments in everyday conversations.

Second, deepen your commitment by making consumer choices that reduce energy use and reduce your impact on the environment. The demand by individuals for change in the marketplace has already led many businesses to take truly significant steps to reduce their global-warming pollution. Some of the corporate changes are more symbolic than real — "green-washing," as it's called — but a surprising amount of real progress is taking place. Walmart, to pick one example, is moving aggressively to cut its carbon footprint by 20 million metric tons, in part by pressuring its suppliers to cut down on wasteful packaging and use lower-carbon transportation alternatives. Reward those companies that are providing leadership.

Third, join an organization committed to action on this issue. The Alliance for Climate Protection (climateprotect.org), which I chair, has grassroots action plans for the summer and fall that spell out lots of ways to fight effectively for the policy changes we need. We can also enable you to host a slide show in your community on solutions to the climate crisis — presented by one of the 4,000 volunteers we have trained. Invite your friends and neighbors to come and then enlist them to join the cause.

Fourth, contact your local newspapers and television stations when they put out claptrap on climate — and let them know you're fed up with their stubborn and cowardly resistance to reporting the facts of this issue. One of the main reasons they are so wimpy and irresponsible about global warming is that they're frightened of the reaction they get from the deniers when they report the science objectively. So let them know that deniers are not the only ones in town with game. Stay on them! Don't let up! It's true that some media outlets are getting instructions from their owners on this issue, and that others are influenced by big advertisers, but many of them are surprisingly responsive to a genuine outpouring of opinion from their viewers and readers. It is way past time for the ref to do his job.

Finally, and above all, don't give up on the political system. Even though it is rigged by special interests, it is not so far gone that candidates and elected officials don't have to pay attention to persistent, engaged and committed individuals. President Franklin Roosevelt once told civil rights leaders who were pressing him for change that he agreed with them about the need for greater equality for black Americans. Then, as the story goes, he added with a wry smile, "Now go out and make me do it."

To make our elected leaders take action to solve the climate crisis, we must forcefully communicate the following message: "I care a lot about global warming; I am paying very careful attention to the way you vote and what you say about it; if you are on the wrong side, I am not only going to vote against you, I will work hard to defeat you — regardless of party. If you are on the right side, I will work hard to elect you."

Why do you think President Obama and Congress changed their game on "don't ask, don't tell?" It happened because enough Americans delivered exactly that tough message to candidates who wanted their votes. When enough people care passionately enough to drive that message home on the climate crisis, politicians will look at their hole cards, and enough of them will change their game to make all the difference we need.

This is not naive; trust me on this. It may take more individual voters to beat the Polluters and Ideologues now than it once did — when special-interest money was less dominant. But when enough people speak this way to candidates, and convince them that they are dead serious about it, change will happen — both in Congress and in the White House. As the great abolitionist leader Frederick Douglass once observed, "Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did, and it never will."

What is now at risk in the climate debate is nothing less than our ability to communicate with one another according to a protocol that binds all participants to seek reason and evaluate facts honestly. The ability to perceive reality is a prerequisite for self-governance. Wishful thinking and denial lead to dead ends. When it works, the democratic process helps clear the way toward reality, by exposing false argumentation to the best available evidence. That is why the Constitution affords such unique protection to freedom of the press and of speech.

The climate crisis, in reality, is a struggle for the soul of America. It is about whether or not we are still capable — given the ill health of our democracy and the current dominance of wealth over reason — of perceiving important and complex realities clearly enough to promote and protect the sustainable well-being of the many. What hangs in the balance is the future of civilization as we know it.


Down

Thursday, 7 May 2009

day ten, nothing left but death wish

Up, Down.

nothing left to overcome that is ...
... and i do hear the mourning doves outside my window these days ...
but (fala serio!) death wish is not to be sneezed at eh?

Tiffy ThompsonPaddy MolloyPaddy Molloy
these are the images attached to the two articles below, worth a note on process here or at least worth thinking a bit about what gets across and what doesn't and why, Tiffy Thompson's could not be presented entirely at the scale above because Blogger arbitrarily formats things with a width greater than 200 pixels, and in order to present these three in a row ... a tradeoff, and Paddy Molloy's 'man with his head up his arse' was in colour with the on-line version of the story, but not at a resolution where you could see the head very readily, and the print version (at least in pdf representaton) is not in colour ... what to do? well, what i did, more distortion is inevitable, who cares? whatever ...

ok, below are two essays on depression, and a number of responses, read it and understand it or not, whatever, my take runs along the lines of a loving physical network, actual people, actual connections, face-to-face

or at least with the memory of having been face-to-face, my, my, gets complicated right away as soon as you start to consider the Internet eh? better to leave it off

what someone might see if they looked, is this very activity as a displacement for lack of attention, i knew a woman, a psychiatrist, who hated transcendence with such a passion ... that it was almost transcendent, i dreamed of her the other night and when i woke i wondered why?

anyway, it is the beginning of day ten and i feel like if someone doesn't somehow make contact with me i will fold, "if i don't get some shelter, yeah i'm gonna fade away." (Stones at YouTube) "Things that love night, love not such nighs as these," might have said my friend Keith ... just passing time here y'unnerstan, pleading, waiting to see ...



Appendices:
Born-again happy, Jennifer Baetz Chester, March 10, 2009.
Born-again happy - Comments.
I can't 'snap out of' my depression, Sarah McCaffrey, May 7, 2009.
I can't 'snap out of' my depression - Comments.

Robert Crumb, Mr NaturalRobert Crumb, GenesisRobert Crumb, Mr NaturalRobert Crumb, Please Warm My Weiner, Old Time Hokum Blues


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Born-again happy, Jennifer Baetz Chester, March 10, 2009.

For years, depression meant I couldn't smile without it feeling like a lie. Now I grin from the inside out.

Thirty-two. In terms of years lived, it's not a remarkable number. I'm not naive, nor am I particularly wise. It's an in-between age, one I thought I could ride on the contented wave I had been surfing for a couple of years.

Yet something unexpected happened at this age. I started to become uncomfortable with the reality of growing older.

It began in the spring after my grandmother died, followed quickly by her sister and niece. Within four months, an entire branch of my family tree had been reduced to sawdust. While I was still trying to sort through my grief, my father-in-law landed in the intensive care unit following major surgery. All this made me see that death won't be passing me by. It's only a matter of time before it comes to whisk me away.

I began to wonder if I should have accomplished more professionally by this point in my life. I earned a university degree and am enjoying a career as a musician and educator. I love what I do and the people I get to work with, but part of me was convinced I should be trying to make more of an impact on the world than just teaching flute lessons and playing at weddings.

I'm ashamed to admit that the physical aspect of aging troubled me most. My face looks different than it did a few years ago. Lines have appeared on my forehead from years of worried scrunching. My skin is constantly dry. And I have a new crease that appears in my left cheek when I smile.

When I first discovered this line, I thought perhaps I had slept on my face in an odd way. Or maybe I was retaining water in strange places. I looked in the mirror on and off for days, alternating between smiling and frowning. I concluded this was a new wrinkle, one more indication I'm headed toward middle age.

But in the midst of my experimental grinning and shallow concerns, I realized it wasn't that long ago that I was unable to smile as I do now. I wasn't really 32. My real age was 8.

In the spring of 2000 I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Depression was nothing new to me: I had lived with mild to severe symptoms for years. I thought it was normal to be miserable and anxious more often than not.

During this particularly bad episode, I was brave enough to ask for help. In time, I came to experience life free from gut-wrenching sadness, rage and self pity. My birth certificate at the time said I was 24. But this diagnosis offered me a chance to be reborn. As my doctor was reassuring me I could escape the hell I had been living in for more than two decades, my age clock rewound to zero.

I didn't notice this rebirth until a few months after I started taking antidepressant medication. I was working for the summer at a farm near my parents' house. One afternoon, I found myself alone in the middle of a field of young tobacco plants, taking a brief rest. Standing at the top of a gentle slope, I closed my eyes and tilted my face up to the sun. I breathed in deeply and sighed it out. I was whole, relaxed and at peace.

All this felt good, but strangely unfamiliar. I felt genuinely happy for the first time in my life. As I stood in the middle of virtually nothing, covered in dirt and sweat, I experienced my first moment of everyday joy.

Many more of these moments followed, small triumphs that formed the foundation of my new life. I celebrated these markers just as parents would celebrate their child's first steps or words.

I could finally answer the question, "How are you?" truthfully. I could carry on a casual conversation without feeling self-conscious. I could ride public transit without having a panic attack. I stopped verbally abusing myself. I started to believe I was beautiful. I learned to forgive and love myself.

And I started to smile. Really smile.

I used to smile with just my mouth. It felt like a lie most of the time. I had to do it because no one wanted to be around the girl who was always frowning.

But now I smile from the inside out. It starts somewhere deep in my gut and creeps up through my torso and throat until it finds my lips. When it happens, I radiate the everyday joy I've been feeling since that moment in the field. I'm still amazed at how easy it is and how often I do it.

I suspect the depth of the crease in my left cheek has been enhanced by the amount of smiling I've engaged in over the past eight years.

My smile line may continue to bother me superficially on those days when I'm coming to terms with the steady march of aging. But that little crease also serves as a reminder of how lucky I am to be healthy, alive and 32 going on 8.

Jennifer Baetz Chester lives in London, Ont.

Illustration by Tiffy Thompson.



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Born-again happy - Comments.

Edward Eh from Bathurst, NB, Canada writes: Thank you Jennifer, the chronology is a little difficult to untangle but your hopeful story is just what my friend needs to read, for her own hopes and smiles. Off it goes now...

Aries Babe from Canada writes: Thank you so much Jennifer. I have 'survived' chronic depression for 40 of my 50 years but at this time of year, after months of darkness and cold, is still my lowest time of the year. You have reminded me again of what a profound gift I received 20 years ago when I started medication and psychotherapy. I also had to unlearn and relearn how to live as a person without the black dog of depression weighing me down. Joy comes in the smallest moments and needs to be grabbed and held tight.
Namaste, light & love ...

kat i from Whitby, Canada writes: Jennifer, thank you for the article. There are many people in this age bracket who can relate, especially women. I believe women are at their most beautiful at this age. And radiance, confidence, and kindness from within takes years off your actual age. Think of yourself as a fine bottle of wine and embrace aging because there is no cream or plastic surgery that is going to reverse it. I'm 37 and can honestly say I have never felt better.

David Wilson, from Toronto writes: you say, "And I started to smile. Really smile." really? how do you distinguish 'really' from the effects of the drug in this case? in the 60s some people took acid and leapt out of windows because they thought they could 'really' fly, auto-defenestration Mr. Black would call it :-) and I think your 'cure' is analogous

Jewel of a gal from Canada writes: Jennifer, thank you for your honesty. As a sufferer of bipolar disorder, I completely understand your comment of "And I started to smile. Really smile." It's really quite an amazing experience!

David, I am going out on a limb and assuming that you have never suffered with depression. I could be wrong but I think not. When you suffer from depression, there is very rarely a reason to smile. Depression, being a chemical imbalance in the brain, once corrected by proper medication, brings forth a wealth of emotions and experiences that most people take for granted. A smile, a real smile, comes from deep inside.

Comparing acid trips to depression is like comparing apples to oranges. One is a chemical imbalance, created on a voluntary basis (and stupid IMHO), only treated by coming down off the high. Any side effects from taking acid are created by the voluntary use of the drug. The other chemical imbalance is not one anyone picks up voluntarily, and the drugs can be a miracle for those that are truly suffering. I hope that you never experience it, as it really does make life a living hell. Perhaps you should spend some time with those of us that are fighting to find the normalcy you take for granted. Greater understanding of mental illness would stop ignorant comments such as yours.

M. Vee from Canada writes: Jennifer, thank you for this.

I am also 32, and feel as if I could've written this article myself. I've suffered from depression my entire life without even knowing it, so your comment, "I thought it was normal to be miserable and anxious more often than not," really hit home.

I'm glad to hear there's hope for me yet! :)

Kate MadeinFrance from Victoria, Canada writes: Hear, hear to "Jewel of a Gal" for your efforts (probably largely wasted) to educate the one unsympathetic poster! Thank you for having the courage to share Jennifer; I hope you enjoy the rest of your voyage of self-discovery a.k.a. "life".

va donc chier from Canada writes: David, that was pretty judgmental. I think you should pop a few empathy pills.

She was not "cured" any more than insuline cures diabetes, another naturally occurring chemical imbalance corrected by modern medecine.

I'm mad as hell from god's country from Canada writes: Great article. M Vee - you took the words right out of my mouth. For most of my life, I too assumed that the way I felt most of the time - sad, tired, little enthusiasm for life, etc - was normal. It wasn't until I had a major meltdown at age 35 that I got help. I am now 52 and the last 15 years have been wonderful. Please don't hesitate to get medication and therapy. Those 2 things saved my life.

Neil Raynor from Canada writes: some specifics would be nice - HOW did you overcome this? it's a wonderful article, but I'm on the outside looking in...25, still in the throes of a lifelong battle with depression. was prescription medication a big part of your recovery?

S G from Toronto, Canada writes: Neil, I agree. Its great that the author has overcome the battle, and from that we can take some comfort, however there is not much to learn from this that we might actually be able to apply.
Posted 10/03/09 at 11:31 PM EDT | Alert an Editor | Link to Comment

joe pinto from Pune, India writes: Thanks for sharing your life, Jennifer.
I am an editor, now retired.

As a gift, I would like to offer you and the readers of F&A,
a peek into mine on my blog - Against the Tide -
at: http://sangatizuzay.blogspot.com/

David Wilson, from Toronto writes: 'Jewel of a Gal' eh? guess I have to take you at your word, as a matter of fact I have suffered with depression and continue to have bouts, years ago, when it became a practical problem I was lucky enough to run into a quack who gave me the choice, drugs or therapy, I chose therapy and after a while I gained some appreciation and control, there is not space in this comment box to recapitulate a line of thinking that runs from Oliver Sachs to Charles Taylor to Ivan Illich to Gabor Maté, sorry to be name-dropping it is just an attempt at shorthand :-) my root thought is that the problem is spiritual, that it runs hand-in-hand with learning to consider ourselves as objects rather than beings, and that it reflects a failure or inability to come to terms with identity as human cultures move universally from the sacred to the profane, when I was at McGill there was a young poet who died of cancer, Steve Smith, his poem, God's Kaliedescope, sums it up in a way (sorry, I have to quote from memory): when my speck of green / first turned the brown of Job's dunghill / i looked up to curse / but then i saw / that in God's eye / all turns are just as beautiful. your turn of phrase is revealing, "those of us that are fighting" might be better put, "those of us who are fighting," but I mention it simply to point out a, to me, telling subject/object slip, the story of the Good Samaritan is the great divide for me here, there are (at least) two roads to walk after you read it (or maybe after it reads you :-); one leading to the bureaucratic nonsense you would call 'health care', the artist formerly known as compassion; and the other leading to a loving network of physical contact between specific individuals, but as I re-read your note I wonder ... "the trouble with normal is it always gets worse" said Bruce Cockburn ... I have seen friends of mine permanently dumbed-down with Prozak and the like too - oops, no more room :-) be well.

John Doucette from Canada writes: Jennifer, I'm glad the drugs are working.

Kim Philby from Canada writes: Over the years my doctors have experimented with the gamut of SSRI's, sometimes in combination. Yeah, they worked; I felt - what? - content? Flattened out? Sooner or later I'd end up deep-sixing my meds. I need them, but when I'm on them I feel like I've somehow lost myself. It's something of a love-hate relationship I have going with these drugs. I've been off them for a few months, and I've gotta say, it's tempting to open that little plastic container of warm fuzzies again.

M. Vee from Canada writes: David, much to my own chagrin, I believe I have to agree with you. :)

I have both a mother and a sister who take medication for anxiety, and I've always felt unsettled by the result. While my mother is especially "flattened out" or "dead in the eyes," my sister thankfully hit on the right medication (after six different prescriptions and some particularly scary incidents of spontaneously falling asleep while driving on Hwy. 401) and is now back to her "normal self."

Instead of going this route, I've chosen to try to manage my depression with weight-training, yoga, reflexology, Aqua-Fit classes with a group of older women (for a weekly dose of "wisdom" on life), a touch of Kabbalah (LOL!). I can't say I've hit on the perfect combination yet, but a tend to think medication is going to be a "last resort" for me when all else fails.

Yvonne Wackernagel from Woodville, Canada writes: And surely your music puts a song in your heart on a regular basis. Keep on with your music; it will be the most important ingredient in helping that smile to become a chuckle.

The Wet One from The frozen wastes of Canuckdom, Canada writes: I went with the happy pills myself and life has never been better. Managing the depression with other mechanisms has not succeeded. I've managed not to have any "Dead in the Eyes" look too (if I'm not mistaken, I'm thinking that women don't date those kind of guys and they never dated me before the happy pills). Different strokes for different folks.

As long as we don't end up hanging from the rafters like someone I know was found in the last month, it's all good. Right? Or is there a "right" way to avoid suicide? If so, let me know what it is, as my way seems to be working for me.

Be well.

it's a fact from Canada writes: M. Vee from Canada writes: Jennifer, thank you for this.

I am also 32, and feel as if I could've written this article myself. I've suffered from depression my entire life without even knowing it, so your comment, "I thought it was normal to be miserable and anxious more often than not," really hit home.

me too. it wasn't until I had a child and my anxiety order got ratcheted up in the throes of post-partum depression that I realized it was an issue... oh, and the meds, combined with therapy, saved my life.

Hockeydad London from Canada writes: Thank you for the article. Another Londoner I note. Hope it is not the city that is the problem! I too have suffered a number of bouts of depression and have been on a series of medication. What I have now seems to be working for the most part. For me the frustration is that I believe my condition has limited my performance as a person. I feel trapped in a box that keeps shrinking and live in fear rather than excitement and joy. Not a good place to be. While each of us has our own experience with this illness, I conclude that whatever allows you to deal with it would be fine by me. Without my current medication I could not even function on a day to day basis as I am doing now. Good luck to you and it is great to hear of a success story.

Ro Mac from Toronto, Canada writes: This is a welcome story - it mirrors my own experience through to age 30, tho I did it without any drugs.

It really is a day to day, incremental battle with your mind, then you wake up one morning and realize you're actually happy for the first time in an extremely long time. Once you get there, don't chance anything -- stay on the path, it only gets better with age.



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I can't 'snap out of' my depression, Sarah McCaffrey, May 7, 2009.

I'm tired of lying about it. I'm tired of the stigma and shame. That's why I'm writing this.

"It's a shame about your job," my friend says.

"Yes," I say. "But what can you do? In this economy lots of people are getting laid off."

We both nod and sigh a little. The part about the economy is true. The part about my job is a lie. I've been lying to a lot of people lately.

The truth is that I wasn't laid off from my job. I've been sick, too sick to work. I struggled through most of the winter to make it through those long, dark days at my desk, but eventually I had to quit before the end of a six-month contract. It wasn't a choice. I simply couldn't keep going.

So why didn't I just tell my friend this? Surely he would be supportive. Why would I lie to someone I've known for more than 10 years?

Because the thing I'm sick with usually doesn't generate the same level of sympathy and understanding as other illnesses, even though it's far more common than most people imagine.

Simply put, I'm depressed. Clinical depression, major depressive disorder, severe depression; there are several names for what's going on inside my head.

Major depression is more than just feeling sad all the time. It's a serious illness that can take over an entire life and make a formerly productive person incapable of doing pretty much anything. At least that's what it's done to me. But from my experience fighting depression on and off for the past eight years, most people don't see it that way.

There is a deeply ingrained belief in our society that mental illness is a form of personal weakness and that if sufferers really wanted to they could just (and I detest this phrase) "snap out of it."

Unfortunately, that's not possible. Believe me, I've tried. I've tried talk therapy, light therapy, yoga, meditation, medication, exercise, vitamins, you name it. But my boot straps firmly refuse to be pulled up. None of my efforts or the efforts of several medical professionals have so far been able to pull me out of the swamp of despair that I've been sinking into for months.

I barely remember what it feels like not to be depressed. I've heard depression described in many ways, usually involving the colour black — sometimes as a black wave, black dogs or a black hole. These make it sound like depression is something external to the depressive, as though it comes sneaking up from the outside or is a well-hidden area of quicksand that a person can slip into by accident.

For me it's never been like that. I've always felt like it's something inside me, always there even if I can't feel it at one particular moment. It does feel black, but more like a black swamp, a heavy, wet, cloying ooze that bubbles up from inside my chest and spreads throughout my body, weighing me down.

I tried for a long time to act normal in spite of it, and most of the time I did an excellent job. But I couldn't keep it up forever. I feel the depression so deeply that sometimes I don't understand how it's possible that people don't see it. I feel I radiate misery like a halogen bulb.

Sometimes, if I'm having a really bad day, someone will ask, "Are you okay?"

I want to burst into tears and say, "No, I'm not, please help me." But I never do. Instead I say, "Yes, I'm fine," in the high-pitched voice I always use when I lie.

This is only my personal experience of depression, and I'm sure it feels different for everyone, but I think a feeling of intense despair is common to most depressives, along with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

On top of the despair is the embarrassment and shame that inevitably come with mental illness. Sometimes the stigma feels as heavy as the despair itself. A few close friends and family know what I've been going through, but to the rest of the world I do my best to present a normal front. They ask how I am and I say, "I'm fine."

But I'm not fine. I'm so tired. I'm tired of lying, tired of hiding. I'm tired of feeling ashamed of being sick. And I know I'm far from the only person who feels this way.

Every instinct I have is telling me not to reveal my mental-health issues, telling me to keep struggling to get better in silence. I cringe at the thought of people I know reading this. What will they think of me?

But somewhere along the line, the silence has became more of a burden than the shame and the fear of judgment. There are countless people out there right now in pain and ashamed of their own suffering. So that's why I'm writing this, for myself and for everyone else who struggles with mental illness.

I haven't given up the fight to get better. I know it's possible. But it takes time, resources and, above all, patience. It also takes people to believe in us. We can't be afraid to ask for help. We have nothing to be ashamed of.

Sarah McCaffrey lives in Toronto.



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I can't 'snap out of' my depression - Comments.

Ground Working from Canada writes: An absolutely excellent, honest article.

Ground Working from Canada writes: Your description of the symptoms is really well done. My bet is that a lot of people don't recognize their own depression for what it is: depression. I don't mean to belittle the severe cases, but I think there's an important upside for most people that accompanies the recognition that their depression is actually depression - where there is typically light at the end of the tunnel, and where many of the negative thoughts are recognized for not being "real", but being symptoms of the disorder.

adriano Chiaselotti from Canada writes: I could not agree more. I have been fighting deppresion for almost 18years now and you are right people don't understand . When I try to talk about it I tear up almost right away. It truly is a battle and I have finally accepted it now I only wish people in my life can do the same for me.

Misery No one from Toronto, Canada writes: One has to wonder if there's any real help out there.

D C from United States writes: I think it's good that you wrote this...

Canadian Woman from Canada writes: Sarah. Thank you for writing one of the best descriptions I've ever read of the actual experience of Depression. I know, from long personal experience, exactly how it feels & you put it into words better than I ever could.

And you speak so well about people not "getting it". I used to think that it would be much easier if when one has Major Depression, you could wear a hat that identified you as a verified truly sick person. It is so exhausting to have to pretend all the time.

I also know that there's absolutely nothing I can say that will make you feel any better now. But I know that if you can get the right meds - not easy at all I know - it WILL get better. All you have to do right now is to hang on a minute at a time, sweetheart. Just one minute. Just for now. You can do it, & your gift of words is why you need to stay. I am holding you in my heart.

Thinkingman FromCanada from Canada writes: Profound article! As someone who works for a non-profit agency I see first hand the social stigma the mentally ill endure.

With Sincere Kindness and Empathy. Kevin.

JM Bechard from Quebec City, Canada writes: You are not the only one that is struggling with mental illness: everyone is. Indeed, being part of a society that still stigmatizes mental illness makes us all ill. It is therefore not just to you to seek help, but to all of us to cure our views about mental illness, which is not worse than physical illness. Do we really need a doctor's note prescribing our own thinking?

ck f from Canada writes: Wow, Sarah. Well said. In our household we know what that is. Me, my spouse, my son, and my daughter ... all four of us grapple with this to varying degrees at various times. It truly is a lifelong battle. I wish you well, and I also wish you understanding from others. Thank you so much for being honest with clarity.

Diana Bedoya from North Vancouver, Canada writes: I just wanted to commend you for your honesty and courage in writing your article. My brother suffers from depression, and I honestly feel lost in trying to understand it. Thank you for providing me with some insight (although I realize every case is different). He's mentioned some of the same symptoms you have described, which has really hit home with me.
Thank you again

Tom R from Victoria, B.C., Canada writes: Sarah, As others have said, thank you for your honesty, courage and clarity. how you describe your depression strickes a cord for me as well. I'm in my late 50's and still have my dark days, however not as dark as when I was younger. Medication [ the right combo ], my wife's support and the hard earned knowledge that it WILL pass make it bareable, so I accept my depression as part of me, the flip side of my positive sensitivity towards life. Hang in there Sarah, you are more than worth it, even in your darkest hours. Take care.

J S from Canada writes: Excellent article! I think it was Johnny Cash that said, "If you find yourself in hell, keep walking. You may come out the other side." I'm going to keep walking... JM Bechard from Quebec City, Canada - I can tell from your comment, you've never experienced mental illness. It is just as life threatening as any physical disease. It's the reason I know that it would take 8 feet 8 inches of rope to snap my neck with a noose. Thankfully, I have a wonderful family and good doctors that are helping me. The author of this article described the symptoms of depression to a 't' and anyone that's been there understands. You don't and probably never will. What I'd like you to do is to read up on mental illness - the causes, symptoms and treatment - to try and understand rather than continue the stigma of "get over it". So you know - this is the sentence that tells me that you don't get it: "Do we really need a doctor's note prescribing our own thinking?" No, I don't. I need the doctor's help to prescribe me medication to try and balance the chemicals in my brain. My doctor is also trying to teach me how to deal with an over-active anterior cingulette which complicates my depression by throwing in obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm also learning to recognize my emotions and to tell people about them - heavy emphasis on 'telling people about them'. I'm also learning alternative ways of thinking - it's called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - so I can cope with my disease in the future. Telling me to "get over it" is like telling a diabetic they don't need insulin - everyone's body produces it, just make more, it's simple...

J S from Canada writes: Damn it! I put paragraphs for a reason G&M!

Peter North from van, Canada writes: jeez, thats depressing.

better living through chemistry!

Man of La Mancha from Canada writes: Sarah, you wonder "I cringe at the thought of people I know reading this. What will they think of me?"

I think you're incredible - struggling through with a very heavy burden, but still managing somehow. As one who has experienced depression, I know how difficult it is just to get through the day when you are depressed. The fact that you have managed this for so long is a testament to your strenght of character and resilience. I hope that you are able to get the help you need to once again be able to enjoy the good things in life.

Craig Schiller from Toronto, writes: Part of the problem is that many people also use the words "depression" and "depressed" more casually, to mean the sort of transient bad mood that everybody gets into once in a while when a few minor inconveniences pile up at once. So those of us who struggle with the real thing face the distorted perception that it's something one can just snap out of, precisely because other people have cheapened the word by misusing it to describe the kind of temporary bad mood that one can snap out of easily.

Another part of the problem is that some people think antidepressants magically fix clinical depression, that all one has to do is pop a pill and they'll instantly be as good as new. Which isn't the case -- for most people, antidepressants can't do much more than just take the edge off, turning the inner murk into a dull aching grey.

So what should people understand here? Firstly: if you can actually complete the sentence "I'm depressed because...", then you're not really depressed, you're just in a bad mood. And secondly: if someone's struggling with the real thing, don't blithely tell us that we can fix it just by snapping out of it, popping a pill or reading The Secret. It doesn't work that way.

Jacaranda Jill from Australia writes: I've been depressed (who hasn't) but I've never suffered from depression, so it's a bit difficult for me to really understand what those suffering from depression go through. This article is a really good start. Well done.

Ken Cowan from Paris, France writes: Another thing most people don't realize is that depression saps your energy to the point where, even if you want to "fight it", you have no energy to do so. Just getting up out of bed seems to be too much. Making an appointment with a doctor, and then actually getting dressed and getting out of the house are almost too much to ask.

Which is why medication helps, even if it doesn't necessarily cure; somehow, if well-chosen, the medication does give the energy needed to "fight back"...( a term I am using which, above all, simply means to "keep going" as opposed to deciding that there is no more point to living).

Squish_a_p From BC from Canada writes: Thank you for sharing your story Sarah.

Fabien Nadeau from St-Liboire, QC, Canada writes: Thanks. My daughter has been fighting depression for a few months, now, and I know she would understand how you feel.

Depression is hard on personal relationships. A husband has to do all the chores, and friends don't what to think, what to do...

It's like a sinkhole... Causes not well understood, remedies not well working.

Let's just hope chemistry can help relieving the pain...

I feel so helpless. Is there a solution?

David Wilson, from Toronto writes: there was a similar story posted here in March, Born-again happy, I notice that it is still available on the Globe site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/ RTGAM.20090310.wfacts10/CommentStory/Business/ in which the author seemed to be saying that drugs were the way out, I am glad to see that this writer does not make such a claim, and she does make very clear one of the principal dilemmas, that depressed people are not very attractive and tend to get short shrift, when I was first going through this myself (many years ago) I was given an Awake (yup, by a Salvationer who gave me my copy as I sat in Ottawa's Lockmaster Tavern) in which this idea was also expressed, not a new thought then ----- there is not much room in one of these comment boxes, doh! no paragraphs as has already been lamented by one poster :-) and so forth, so I will cut to the chase ----- I am one of those old fogeys who think that it takes two to tango, this 'epidemic' of depression, certainly among the people that I know and talk to, seems to me to be the result both of character AND society, and the insights and thoughts that have helped me the most have come from quite an unexpected place - a Canadian philosopher, Charles Taylor, and his book, A Secular Age, which I recommend highly, my point being that the more clearly you can describe what is happening, the more likely you are to find some kind of resolution, be well.

Jane Benn from Canada writes: To Craig Schiller - what you are leaving out is that situational depression (what you call a bad mood) can, if it is severe enough and persists long enough, tip some people over into clinical depression, with its chemical imbalances, inability to function and emotional morasses. The difference is that, when the situation improves, and/or with medication, the patient can recover, usually within a relatively short (months or a year or two) time, and will often not relapse. The author, and the many others like her, suffer for years or decades or a lifetime. Medication helps some of them, but not all, and I admire anyone who struggles with this illness and manages to make life in spite of it.

D J from Canada writes: What is the point. We all end up dead in the end anyway! Remember that WSIB.

I'm mad as hell from god's country from Canada writes: Sarah - my heart goes out to you. I know from personal experience what major depresssion is like. Once I found the right medication and an excellent therapist, I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel and have been well for almost 20 years. I am amazed, however, that in this day and age, with all the publicity and information about depression, that there is still a stigma attached to it.

Rob Tremblay from ottawa, Canada writes: First off, well said and thank you for your bravery. I struggle with depression, and at one point did take prescribed meds. The meds were unbeleivable, they helped, I was happier than i had been in years. But did I want to continue taking meds for the rest of my life to be happy? The answer should have been I don't care, if it makes me happy do it. But my answer was in fact, no, I do not want my happiness to depend on a pill I must take daily. So I stopped after about 10 months on the meds, a period in which there was noticeably positive effetcs, and I was depressed again. I still am, I do not try and hide my depression as some do, I like to think I more so channel my depression. I will sit in candlelight and write, listen to specific music and watch specific movies as therapy. many of my friends associate a certain darkness to me, but that's who I am, if I am unhappy I am unhappy, I do not want a pill to change that. Is this denial? I am unsure. I am sure that i do not want to alter my natural state of mind. Perhaps I am sane in an insane world. Perhaps there are explainable roots to the problem that is my depression? I don't know, I've toyed around with the aspects of depression for years, and I just don't know. Good luck to everyone, and if you are not against medicating, I suggest you try, because it is unbeleivable the help it brings.

puffin wrangler from Montreal, Canada writes: Yeah, it can affect the part of your brain that regulates sleep. For two years I couldn't stay awake (I slept 14 hrs a day), I thought I had mono; then for two years I couldn't stay asleep (I slept 90 min. a night), I thought I was going to die. It's a bonafide disease, often compared to diabetes. You have the right to seek professional help.

But I've noticed a good thing, that the stigma is lessening. My grandparents were ashamed of my 'weakness,' but my cousins accepted it as a malady that could be cured. And I was cured: four years of medication then two years of counselling to put my life back together. Good luck to you. It's not something I would ever wish on my enemy.

Trish Murphy from Toronto, Canada writes: I have read that depression is an illness where the victim is often treated worse by those who should be the most supportive, spouses and family. Certainly I was treated with astonishing cruelty by some of those I was closest to when I succumbed to depression about two years ago. Would it help if we all started to think of it as a physical illness, something going wrong with a distinct organ, a shortfall of neurogenesis in the hippocampus? That seems to be a useful working model of what is actually happening in the brain in people who are ill. Stop calling it depression, which sounds too much like being temporarily down, and start calling it something like cortisol-induced hippocampal poisoning? Sarah, I was able to find a (so-called) SSRI medication which worked and to find a cognitive-behavioural therapist who understands how slow and painstaking recovery is. And that, I think, is key to understanding: recovery can be very slow. The medications take weeks to months to evaluate, to get the medication right, to get the dosage right, and for behavioral and cognitive changes to start affecting neurogenesis. And there are setbacks: seasonal darkness or a new stressful event can induce setbacks. But recovery happens. Thank you, Sarah, for writing about the fatigue and difficulty making choices, which seem to be among the hardest manifestations of the illness for others to understand, and which cannot be masked by an up-beat social facade. In the same period that I was facing depression, my older sister, who is physically active and of normal weight, was coping with a diagnosis of diabetes. It is astonishing the different social reaction to two illnesses, neither of which can be "snapped out of".

D S from Canada writes: I really enjoyed this article. What I liked most about it wasn't the great descrpition of symptoms or misunderstanding within society (which were very well depicted), but rather the way this type of sentiment can apply to a lot of people... I have been wanting to be tested for bipolar disease for some time now. I went to see my family doctor and he had said the symptoms I were feeling were simply circumstantial and that anxiety/nervousnous were driving my moods. My dad also saw it along these lines. It's frustrating when people just simply say that it is 'not a big deal. Everything will work out for you. You're just on edge because of where you're at right now. Once you control your emotions better, everything will be better'. And for a lot of people this is in fact true. Emotional control comes with maturity and experience. But I believet his should never undermine the fact that diagnosed medical illnesses should be overlooked the way they are. Although my current situation is the best it has ever been (accepted to a Masters program, pretty much over an ex-gf, finanically set up for school, great apartment lined up) I still would have liked to have some better testing done for bipolarism or depression... These diseases are just as 'physical' as any disease. They are defficiencies/abormalities in neurochemicals and, if anything, are much more serious physical problems. I wish society would just understand that these types of diseases are rooted in the most complex area of medical treatment, our brain chemistry, and should be justifiably taken as serious (if not more) than most other diseases.

p s from Toronto, Canada writes: I have found that the best way to fight depression is to stop fighting. Let it be and it will ease on its own. Fighting it only deepens the hole I'm in. And on the bad days, I try to accomplish some little thing - cleaning out a drawer, something that will give me some sense of accomplishment.

Al Gorman from Canada writes: Sarah, your comments are very courageous. Thanks! An old friend of mine would say "a problem shared is a problem half solved." I would advocate that in order to begin removing the societal stigma that it would be helpful to abandon the broad categorization of 'mental illness'. I also suggest that classifications, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, are not all that helpful either. It leads people and their conditions to become indistinguishable from one another. People who have a physical illness are not labelled with that. When was the last time you heard someone say "She has physical illness." Sarah's description is one that defines chronic and severe depression, yet no one is utterly and completely depressed, much the same as no one is utterly delusional or completely hallucinatory. Doctors are not always a great help. They mean well, write a prescription and send you on your way. I suggest the problem that results in the depressive state is one that is marked by anxiety, fear, and a pervasive interpretation of no possibility and apathy. I also suggest that where one cannot distinguish possibility that one often has been shaped by experiences they are incomplete with; experiences that have resulted in a loss of the authentic self, low self esteem, low confidence and feelings of shame, guilt and no self worth. Sarah's courageous step of sharing her experience with all of us and taking the risks that she has stepped out to take (probably because it is feels so bad that she doesn't see sharing her experience as being worst) is a wonderful step not only to helping herself but also to helping so many other people who identify with her experience and their own feelings of depression. Sarah...thanks again so much!

Kevin Desmoulin from TO, Canada writes: Keep up the fight, Ya and the way it is, a fight, just to get up.
Posted 07/05/09 at 8:19 AM EDT | Alert an Editor | Link to Comment

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