.תהא שנת עליה וגאולה
May 5776 be a year of aliyah and redemption.
As you may recall, every year my mother prepares a very special family calendar. Here is a certain Shiputzim daughter’s beautiful contribution to the 5776 edition:
(Roughly corresponding to Shvat-Adar I 5776)
לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו לאלתר לחיים טובים ולשלום!
May you and your families have a wonderful, happy, healthy, prosperous, and sweet new year!
Moadim l’simchah!
I hope you’re having a wonderful Pesach and enjoying the weeklong vacation.
B”H, thanks to YZG and the amazing Shiputzim kids, we had a beautiful seder and yom tov, and we’ve been spending chol hamoed visiting with family and going on various trips and outings.
It was on one of the aforementioned outings that we observed the following #onlyinIsrael sign hanging on the gate of a certain agricultural community:
And speaking of Pesach, I know you won’t be surprised to learn that here in TRLEOOB* – as in many other households - we consider brownies to be a Pesach staple. (The Shiputzim kids made 7 batches this year.)
<quick explanation> As I mentioned elsewhere, although we don’t eat gebrochts on Pesach, we’re not fanatic about it. Basically, the only thing we avoid is matzah mixed with water. Other liquids are fine, and thus, the Shiputzim family’s favorite Pesach brownie recipe contains matzah meal but no water. </explanation>
Mezonot Pesach Brownies
Our electric hand mixer can handle four recipes at a time.
Ingredients
Directions
Beat eggs and sugars well. Gradually add remaining ingredients, and mix together.
Pour batter into baking-paper-lined pan (we use aluminum pans that are slightly smaller than 9x13). Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.
Let the brownies cool before cutting.
Note: They freeze well. (We freeze the brownies whole and only cut them into squares immediately before serving.)
מועדים לשמחה, חג שמח ושבת שלום!
Have a fantastic chag and Shabbat, and enjoy your Shabbat Parshat Shmini/Isru Chag kitniyot!
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for maternal boasting. Proceed at your own risk.
So, in case you were wondering – and I can’t imagine that you weren’t - here’s the thing about neglecting one’s blog:
It turns out – and yes, this came as quite a surprise for me, too - that when one allows days weeks months to go by without making time for blogging, one finds oneself with a rather extensive collection of partially-written posts.
I mean, consider the following images, which have been rattling around my Drafts folder since before Rosh Hashanah.
As veteran Our Shiputzim readers will no doubt recall, every year my mother puts together a family calendar, and the various grandchildren prepare the artwork.
Here are the Shiputzim kids’ beautiful contributions (I warned you that there would be boasting… :-)) to the 5775 calendar:
(Roughly corresponding to Tevet-Shvat 5775)
(Roughly corresponding to Iyar-Sivan 5775)
As always, please be sure to click on the pictures for a much better view.
Stay safe, warm, and dry, and have a wonderful Shabbat!
!שבת שלום ומבורך
In light of recent events, the conclusion of Yaakov Avinu’s blessing to his son Dan in Parshat Vayechi perfectly encapsulates Am Yisrael’s collective mood – especially here in Eretz Yisrael:
“לִישׁוּעָתְךָ קִוִיתִי ה’.”
“For Your salvation I yearn, Hashem!”
(Breishit 49:18)
Shlomo Katz recently released a hauntingly beautiful rendition of this pasuk:
From Shlomo Katz’s new “Likrat Shabbat” album
שבת שלום וחודש טוב!
Shabbat shalom, and may the coming week and month be filled with besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation) for Am Yisrael!
Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for maternal boasting. Proceed at your own risk.
A Shiputzim daughter recently had to do a project for her Mishnah class.
Yes, her Mishnah class.
Note that such a concept certainly didn’t exist in my out-of-town Bais Yaakov-wannabe school.
In fact, the word “Mishnah” never appeared anywhere near our course schedule.
I mean, sure, we did learn a bit of Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers)here and there – albeit it mostly on a rather superficial level.
But it was clearly understood that this was the one exception to the hard-and-fast rule that girls. don’t. learn. Mishnah. Period.
After all, it could, um, lead to mixed dancing, which could lead to [gasp] something even worse: learning Gemara…
In contrast, the aforementioned Shiputzim daughter is currently studying Masechet Bava Metzia and chose to do her project on the second mishnah of the second perek, which discusses the mitzvah of hashavat aveidah (returning lost property) and includes a list of items that the finder must declare.
As always, please feel free to click on the pictures for a much better view:
Several close-ups of some of the details:
If the poster’s style looks vaguely familiar, it’s because it was produced in the same studio as last year’s Makat Dam project, which, coincidentally, is very appropriate for this week – i.e. Parshat VaEra.
!שבת שלום ומבורך
Warning: The following post exceeds the recommended daily allowance for pedantic nitpickiness (even by the notoriously lax standards of this blog). Proceed at your own risk.
If you’re like the denizens of TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog), you probably spent a significant portion of last week – i.e. the week of Parshat Vayishlach – listening to Yonatan Razel’s hauntingly beautiful “Katonti”:
And who could blame you (or the aforementioned denizens)?
After all, not only is it a gorgeous song, but most of the words come straight from last week’s parsha. (The rest of the lyrics come from Sefer Tehillim.)
But – and here’s where the threatened nitpickiness comes in – a closer look at the words reveals that there’s something very funny about this song.
I mean, at first glance, the song seems to be about Yaakov thanking Hashem for His benevolence:
”קָטֹנְתִי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכָּל הָאֱמֶת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ אֶת עַבְדֶךָ כִּי בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִי אֶת הַיַרְדֵן הַזֶה וְעַתָה הָיִיתִי לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת. הַצִילֵנִי נָא…“
”כִּי חַסְדְךָ גָדוֹל עָלָי וְהִצַלְתָ נַפְשִׁי מִשְׁאוֹל תַחְתִיָה.“
“I have been diminished by all the kindnesses and by all the truth which You have rendered Your servant; for with my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Deliver me, please…” (Breishit 32:11-12)
“For Your kindness is great toward me; and You saved my soul from the lowermost depths of the grave.” (Tehilim 86:13)
But as Rashi - citing Chazal – explains, Yaakov is actually concerned that he has “used up” all his zechuyot (protective merits) and that he is no longer worthy of being saved:
”נתמעטו זכיותי על ידי החסדים והאמת שעשית עמי. לכך אני ירא, שמא משהבטחתני, נתלכלכתי בחטא, ויגרום לי להמסר ביד עשו.“
“My merits have been diminished by the kindnesses and the truth that You have done for me. Therefore, I fear that since the time You promised me, I may have became sullied with sin, and it will cause me to be delivered into Esav’s hand.”
In other words, as lovely as it is, “Katonti” is a so-called “Lo Ra’av” song.
A Lo Ra’av song has nice-sounding lyrics that turn out to mean something else entirely, when one checks the words’ original source and context.
The name comes from a pasuk (verse) in Amos:
”הִנֵה יָמִים בָּאִים… וְהִשְׁלַחְתִי רָעָב בָּאָרֶץ לֹא רָעָב לַלֶחֶם וְלֹא צָמָא לַמַיִם כִּי אִם לִשְׁמֹעַ אֵת דִבְרֵי ה’.“
“Behold, days are coming… and I will send a famine into the land; not a famine for bread nor a thirst for water, but to hear the words of Hashem.” (Amos 8:11)
Over the years, this pasuk has been set to music several times, and there are now many different versions of this song, including:
Apparently, those behind these songs felt that a situation that involves thirsting for Hashem’s words is a wonderful, praiseworthy, and song-worthy thing.
But in actuality, the pasuk means that there will be hastarat Panim (literally, that Hashem will “hide His face”) – i.e. a terrible punishment, and thus not exactly something that most people would choose to sing about!
Which is why “Hinei Yamim” always makes me laugh…
Please share your own amusing examples of “Lo Ra’av” songs in the comment section below.
Shavua tov!
”הַלְעִיטֵנִי נָא מִן הָאָדֹם הָאָדֹם הַזֶה…“
“Pour into me now some of this red, red…”
(Breishit 25:30)
Like what seems to be a significant portion of the Jewish world (if Facebook and the J-Blogosphere are any indication), here in TRLEOOB*, we had red lentil soup today in honor of Parshat Toldot.
Parshat Toldot Crock Pot Red Lentil Soup
Inspired by at least half a dozen different recipes – including my mother-in-law’s recipe
Note: It turns out that if you take your crock pot out of the kitchen to clean for Pesach, but then leave it sitting right in the middle of the living room floor instead of carrying it upstairs and putting it away immediately, someone WILL trip over it. And when THAT happens, the crock pot insert WILL crack and break. In other words, I made the soup in our relatively new 8-quart crock pot…
Ingredients
Directions
Put all the ingredients in the crock pot and fill it up with water. Cook on high for a few hours, and then turn the crock pot down to low before Shabbat.
!בתאבון
P.S. Laura shares a different red lentil soup recipe here.
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
In an ideal world, Friday Erev Tu B’Shvat would be a perfect time to post a rendition of the classic HaShkediyah Porachat. (A [particularly awkward] English translation is available here.)
But unfortunately, here in TRLEOOB*, our shkediyah (=almond tree) has always been a bit of a, ahem, late bloomer.
In fact, as you can see in the following picture, it doesn’t yet have a single flower:
And so, it will be necessary to look elsewhere for today’s edition of “Euphonic Friday”.
As you may recall, it’s become somewhat of a tradition here on Our Shiputzim to post Shimi Tavori’s Mizrachi favorite Moshe this time of year, when the weekly Torah readings revolve around the Exodus from Egypt.
But this year, I think we’ll take it up a notch and post not one but - count ‘em! – two versions of this song:
First, the original version, complete with backup dancers (dressed relatively modestly – at least by today’s standards) shimmying (no pun intended…) incongruously to a song about Moshe Rabbeinu:
And second, a more recent, less grainy but also far less amusing :-)version (which also includes “Kinor David”):
!שבת שלום וט”ו בשבט שמח
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
Israelis were divided into two groups today: those who were privileged to have snow in their own backyards and those who were forced to brave the icy roads in order to get their winter wonderland fix.
Although security considerations (ah, the travails of semi-anonymous blogging… ;-)) prevent me from telling you if we belong to the first or the second group, the halachot of snow day blogging apparently require me to share a picture of the Shiputzim kids’ snowy masterpiece:
And speaking of the Shiputzim kids and their handiwork…
About a month or two ago, ACSK (=a certain Shiputzim kid) had to do a project for school about one of the Ten Plagues and chose Makat Dam (the Plague of Blood).
Seeing as we will IY”H be reading Parshat VaEra this coming Shabbat, I figured that it would be appropriate to post the final result:
In addition, here are a few close-ups of some of the details:
Special thanks to ACSK’s older siblings for all their help.
!שבת שלום ומבורך
So, here’s the question: Do you believe that anyone live-blogged the Exodus from Egypt?
On one hand, the historical evidence suggests that no one did. After all, the Biblical era forerunner of modern blog editing software wasn’t really worth the papyrus it was written on, and even today, few – if any - spellcheckers can handle hieroglyphics.
But on the other hand, it was the Exodus!
We’re talking the Burning Bush! The Ten Plagues! The Splitting of the Sea!
Is it really possible that not ONE person who witnessed those earth-shattering events thought to him- or herself, “Wow! This would make an AWESOME post! My readers would LOVE to hear all about it! I am SO blogging this!”
Well, as it turns out (and as YZG pointed out after shul this past Shabbat Parshat Shmot), Sephardim and Ashkenazim obviously disagree on this topic.
The former apparently feel that blogging played no part in the Exodus, but the latter clearly hold otherwise.
I say this, because while Sephardic practice is to read the haftarah of Parshat Shmot from Sefer Yirmiyahu (Chapters 1-2), Ashkenazim traditionally read from Sefer Yeshayahu (Chapters 27-29).
And if one takes a quick look at Yeshaya 28:11 – i.e. right in the middle of the haftarah - one sees the following:
“כִּי בְּלַעֲגֵי שָׂפָה וּבְלָשׁוֹן אַחֶרֶת יְדַבֵּר אֶל הָעָם הַזֶּה.”
Admittedly, certain literal-minded translators may claim that this verse means:
”For with distorted speech and in another tongue, he will speak to this nation.”
But we here at Our Shiputzim believe that a much better translation is:
”For [on] blogs of (‘bloggei’) language and in another tongue, he will speak to this nation.”
Your thoughts?
Note: I originally intended to post this before Tisha B’Av, but I had no time for blogging last week, due to various real life endeavors – including, well, keep reading to find out…
In this past Shabbat’s Torah Tidbits, Rav Leff notes that David HaMelech summarizes (Tehilim 106:24) the Sin of the Spies in three words:
“וַיִּמְאֲסוּ בְּאֶרֶץ חֶמְדָּה.”
This means, according to Rav Leff, “they were disgusted with the coveted land.” (The Official Our Shiputzim Hebrew-English Translator translates it as “they despised the desirable land.”)
Rav Leff then continues:
“It stands to reason that correcting this sin and appreciating the coveted land, the land of Israel, would be a great factor in bringing about the redemption and the coming of Moshiach.”
With this very idea in mind, I’ve tried to write pre-Tisha B’Av posts in recent years that would “counteract the meraglim (Spies).” (See my posts from 5769, 5770, and 5771.)
And, thus, with your indulgence, I’d like to share yet another incredible aspect of life here in our beautiful Land:
Last week, thousands of Jews from all walks of life flocked to Alon Shvut, home of the world-renowned Yeshivat Har Etzion, to learn Torah during Michlelet Herzog’s annual Yemei Iyun B’Tanach.
For years, close friends and family members have been raving about this extraordinary program – the top-notch lecturers, the phenomenal and fascinating shiurim, the knowledgeable participants, and the way everything flows so smoothly and efficiently in spite of the large crowds.
Finally, this year, I was able to participate myself, and I can definitely say that the program more than lives up to all the hype.
I mean, what could be more exhilarating and inspiring than seeing so many people take time off their busy schedules to go learn Torah from the country’s leading Tanach scholars in the heart of Eretz Yisrael?
IMHO, the program’s very existence – as well as its ever-growing popularity (the organizers were stunned when the shiurim closed out well over a month in advance) – certainly qualifies as an “antidote to the meraglim!”
And on a related note, Rav Meidan, Rosh Yeshivat Har Etzion, discussed the meraglim during one of the shiurim he gave last week.
He showed that the Sin of the Spies was basically an intelligence failure. The meraglim were charged with gathering information, but they also took it upon themselves to interpret the data they had collected.
However, Rav Meidan also explained that on a more fundamental level, the Spies’ error was that they believed that returning to Egypt was a viable option.
It wasn’t until the subsequent Sin of the Maapilim that they realized their mistake. They discovered that not going to Eretz Yisrael meant staying in the hot, dry, barren wilderness for forty long years. In other words, they learned the hard way that Eretz Yisrael is the only option.
May we all soon be privileged to recognize that Eretz Yisrael is not just the only option but also the ideal option; may we learn to fully appreciate and value its significance, holiness, beauty, and uniqueness; and may our eyes behold Hashem’s return to Tzion with mercy, speedily and in our days.
You can tell a lot about people by noting which alonim (i.e. the weekly parsha sheets issued by a wide range of institutions and organizations and distributed every Shabbat in shuls across the country) they read.
For instance, seeing as how the Shiputzim family includes, inter alia, Anglo parents as well as Israeli teenagers, it should come as no surprise to hear that “Olam Katan” (literally, “A Small World”) and “Torah Tidbits” (put out by the OU’s Israel Center) are both very popular here in TRLEOOB*.
Thus, I was quite flattered when a number of readers observed that a recent humor piece (scroll down to Page 5) in “Olam Katan” about Israel’s national-religious world reminded them of this blog.
“It's like the kind of thing that you write, Imma...” one of the Shiputzim kids even said.
And on a somewhat related note, be sure to check out the extraordinary lead article (the article starts on Page 1 and continues on Pages 4-5) in this past Shabbat’s “Torah Tidbits”.
What are your family’s favorite parsha sheets?
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
According to the highly-recommended Our Shiputzim General Theory of Pesach Cleaning, this week calls for:
“Talking and blogging about cleaning in lieu of doing anything constructive.”
And thus, here are a few items of interest or note:
1) Wondering why your darling offspring’s vacation starts this coming Wednesday already? Well, you have the Education Ministry and its Ponzi scheme - aka “robbing Peter to pay Paul” – to thank for that…
2) If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing the office nook that YZG and I share, this JPost piece will definitely ring a bell…
3) The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my lemon-glazed apple cake.
4) Rafi G. shares his beautiful insight into the Korban Chatat (the sin-offering in the Beit HaMikdash).
And finally:
5) It seems that every year without fail, we’re always left with too much of one particular chametz product before Pesach.
For instance, there was the year that we were awash in pasta. (As far as I can recall, pasta was on sale right after Chanukah that year, and apparently, we went a bit overboard…)
And then there was the memorable Year of the Shkedei Marak (i.e. the ubiquitous soup nuts seen on Israeli Shabbat tables everywhere), when the younger Shiputzim kids spent the week before Pesach in the playground, generously doling out the little yellow squares to all their friends and acquaintances.
Which brings us to this year, when an initial survey of our pantry revealed that we have an inordinate amount of… drum roll, please… pretzels.
Why pretzels, you ask?
The answer is: I have no idea.
I mean, it’s not like pretzels feature prominently in the Shiputzim family’s regular diet or anything, and I can’t imagine what prompted us to buy so many bags of the salty snack in the first place.
But buy pretzels we obviously did, and therefore, pretzels are certain to play a major role in our menus over the coming week.
So if you’re in the mood for some, um, pretzel chicken, pretzel pizza, pretzel salad, or just plain pretzels, feel free to drop by TRLEOOB*…
What strange assortment of chametz items do YOU still have left?
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
Last year, in honor of Parshat Shmot, I posted Shimi Tavori’s classic song “Moshe” - winner of the Mizrachi Song Festival and an old family favorite.
But apparently, since then, YouTube removed the song, and so by special request from TSG, here’s another version of the same song from the same song festival:
Although the picture is definitely grainier than last year’s version, the advantage of this one is that it has the Hebrew lyrics.
And I still stand by what I wrote last year:
“…[T]his video cracks me up.
“After all, the sight of girls shimmying [Ed. note: No pun intended… :-)] incongruously to a song about the Burning Bush, Matan Torah, and other highlights of Moshe Rabbeinu’s life is very, very funny…”
In general, I try to hold on to the few remaining shreds of my semi-anonymous status.
But nevertheless, every so often, I’ve willingly divulged a number of personal details.
For instance, I readily admit that back in high school, I was NOT voted, “Most likely to blog about various reptiles and amphibians…”
Which is very ironic, of course, considering the fact that there are few (if any) J-bloggers who’ve written more posts about said creatures than I have.
After all, four – yes, four!!! – lizards (namely, a chameleon, an agama, a skink, and a gecko), a tortoise, and even a toad have all slunk/crawled/crept their way on to this blog.
And as if that’s not enough, they’re about to be joined by yet another amphibian friend.
Which one, you ask? Here’s a hint… :-)
In honor of Sefer Shmot (which we’ll IY”H begin reading this coming Shabbat), here are some shots of the frog (i.e. צפרדע – tzfarde’a, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) which decided to, er, hop over for a brief visit during our recent Chanukah weekend in Avnei Eitan.
Note that when I say “decided,” I obviously mean that it was gently encouraged to come in out of the rain by several members of the extended Shiputzim family. (No, not me…).
As always, feel free to click on the pictures for a closer view. (Although I can’t imagine why you’d want to…)
!שבת שלום ומבורך
Several items of note:
1) Rav Natan Slifkin lists the seven wonders of the Jewish world.
2) Maya has some great tips for getting what you want in Israel. (Mazal tov to Maya and her husband on the birth of their baby daughter!)
3) Rafi G. shares a very funny pretzel commercial.
4) Laura baked a well cake and ring cookies in honor of Parshat Chayei Sarah.
5) Batya discusses the future of the Jerusalem Light Rail.
!שבוע טוב
The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:
The Top Ten Signs That You May Be Making a Bar Mitzvah in the Next Couple of Weeks IY”H
10) The entire family is able to lain a certain parsha by heart.
9) Whenever anyone opens their mouth to say anything, you immediately caution, “slow, loud, and clear.”
8) The baking team (aka the tza’ir bakers, in the vernacular) is hard at work.
7) Supper is now a thing of the past, because the dining room table has long since disappeared under an avalanche of invitations and envelopes.
6) You’ve been contacting obscure relatives, in order to ascertain: (a) that they still exist, and if so, (b) their current mailing address.
5) There’s no more room in your freezer.
4) You’ve compiled so many lists that you’ve been working off a list of lists. In fact, you’re seriously considering migrating to a database of lists.
3) If nonstop shopping was an Olympic sport, you’d be well on your way to a gold medal. (Reason #3221 for making aliyah: You don’t have to buy your son a suit or even a tie for his bar mitzvah…)
2) You find yourself trapped deep inside the dreaded Cycle of Invitations. {cue: wild, maniacal laughter}
1) Four words: Less time for blogging…
Choref tov u’bari! (May you have a good and healthy winter!)
This Shabbat – Parshat Breishit – marks the beginning of cholent season here in TRLEOOB*.
Normally, we might wait until the weather gets colder, but two distinct events converged this week:
But for those who aren’t yet up to cholent – and in order to finish up our frozen lemon juice before the new crop comes in – I also mixed up a quick pasta salad:
Lemony Pasta Salad
Ingredients
Dressing
Cook pasta and drain. Place in bowl with corn and onion. Prepare dressing (I used an immersion blender to mix it, but shaking well should work too) and pour over salad. Toss. Chill in refrigerator for a few hours – or overnight – before serving.
!בתאבון ושבת שלום ומבורך
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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog
Those seeking up-to-the-minute, accurate reporting of the day’s events in southern Israel should check out Jameel and friends’ excellent live coverage.
May we soon be privileged to enjoy besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation) as well as the fulfillment of the navi’s words from this week’s haftarah:
כִּי נִחַם ה’ צִיּוֹן, נִחַם כָּל חָרְבֹתֶיהָ, וַיָּשֶׂם מִדְבָּרָהּ כְּעֵדֶן, וְעַרְבָתָהּ כְּגַן ה’; שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה יִמָּצֵא בָהּ, תּוֹדָה וְקוֹל זִמְרָה.
“For Hashem will console Tzion, He will console all her ruins, and He will make her wilderness like Eden and her wasteland like the garden of Hashem; joy and happiness will be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of song.” (Yeshayah 51:3)
!שבת שלום ומבורך
Several items of interest:
1. Rafi G. has a sweet cellphone commercial.
2. Miriyummy shares some lovely memories of her summers in the Catskills.
3. A fellow mother of Israeli teens, Baila writes about summer vacation.
4. In honor of Parshat Korach, Laura prepares an edible model of Aharon’s mateh.
5. What would you do? Hannah discusses chicken which was left out overnight.
6. And finally, are you looking for that special entree to, um, tempt your guests’ appetites? Toby has the answer… Not!
